1
00:00:00,783 --> 00:00:04,263
? It seems today that all you see ?

2
00:00:04,299 --> 00:00:07,567
? Is violence in movies and sex on TV ?

3
00:00:07,602 --> 00:00:11,137
? But where are those
good old-fashioned values ?

4
00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:14,140
? On which we used to rely? ?

5
00:00:14,175 --> 00:00:17,643
? Lucky there's a family guy ?

6
00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:20,947
? Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ?

7
00:00:20,982 --> 00:00:22,515
? All the things that make us ?

8
00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,283
? Laugh and cry ?

9
00:00:24,319 --> 00:00:29,455
? He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ?

10
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,679
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -

11
00:00:36,364 --> 00:00:37,496
What the hell?

12
00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:40,533
Oh, hey, Brian.
I was sick of waiting my turn

13
00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:42,034
outside the supermarket,

14
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,637
so I bought every coin-operated
horse in town.

15
00:00:44,672 --> 00:00:46,239
I assume you're on the unicorn?

16
00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:47,940
You know me well, sir.

17
00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:49,342
Must be a dozen horses here.

18
00:00:49,377 --> 00:00:50,776
How do you possibly have the money

19
00:00:50,812 --> 00:00:52,011
for this type of stuff?

20
00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:54,247
Well, I'll tell you,
but only on one condition.

21
00:00:54,282 --> 00:00:56,482
- Fine. Never mind then.
- Investing!

22
00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:57,883
I invest in the stock market.

23
00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,418
The stock market? Ugh.

24
00:00:59,454 --> 00:01:01,420
What do you even know about that stuff?

25
00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:04,323
It's easy... I just follow trends
and invest accordingly.

26
00:01:04,359 --> 00:01:06,525
For instance,
there are more single people

27
00:01:06,561 --> 00:01:07,960
over 50 than ever.

28
00:01:07,996 --> 00:01:10,796
So I'm investing in handguns
and blackout window shades.

29
00:01:10,832 --> 00:01:12,898
They don't want to be part
of society, Brian.

30
00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:14,500
They've made that very clear.

31
00:01:14,535 --> 00:01:15,635
I don't know, Stewie, if you ask me,

32
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,370
the stock market's just a rigged game

33
00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:19,705
where the top one-percent
make out like bandits,

34
00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,140
and regular people get hurt.

35
00:01:21,175 --> 00:01:23,042
Are you reading off
a teleprompter right now?

36
00:01:23,077 --> 00:01:25,511
No.

37
00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,079
The prompter's down. What do we do?

38
00:01:27,115 --> 00:01:28,447
Brian, vamp!

39
00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:31,651
So, great to be in Quahog,
Rhode Island today.

40
00:01:31,686 --> 00:01:33,919
That's why he's the best.

41
00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:40,793
Our top story,
an austere monetary policy

42
00:01:40,828 --> 00:01:43,129
has the European Union
on the brink of collapse,

43
00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:45,064
threatening the entire global economy.

44
00:01:45,099 --> 00:01:48,167
And for viewers making
less than $40,000 a year,

45
00:01:48,202 --> 00:01:51,637
your top story is a big
UFC fight this Saturday.

46
00:01:51,673 --> 00:01:53,439
Wow, I can't wait to see that fight!

47
00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:55,341
Me and the guys are gonna
watch it at the Clam.

48
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,610
Peter, we have dinner
with my parents that night.

49
00:01:57,645 --> 00:02:00,346
It's my mom's birthday.
You have to be there.

50
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,181
Lois, if you let me out of this,

51
00:02:02,216 --> 00:02:04,583
I will go to Meg's
ballet recital in your place.

52
00:02:04,619 --> 00:02:05,885
Deal.

53
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,959
I did not go to the recital.

54
00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:19,231
Whew, what a day.

55
00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:21,901
I asked Ms. Watson if she has
any kids of her own.

56
00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:24,770
Immediately she put me in a time-out.

57
00:02:24,806 --> 00:02:26,706
What the hell?!

58
00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,574
Ay, díos mio!

59
00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:30,142
Oh, great. Course it's one of them.

60
00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:31,977
- What?!
- Stewie, adults are allowed

61
00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,313
to say racist things because of traffic.

62
00:02:34,349 --> 00:02:37,216
Oh, my poor '98 Toyota Corolla.

63
00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:40,119
We all have '98 Toyota Corolla.

64
00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:42,722
- Qué?
- I allowed to say racist things

65
00:02:42,757 --> 00:02:44,790
because of traffic.

66
00:02:44,826 --> 00:02:46,659
Well, don't get so angry.
Just tell your insurance

67
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,027
what happened and then they'll...

68
00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:50,096
Oh, you're driving away because
you don't have insurance.

69
00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:53,733
This sucks. Fixing the bumper
is gonna cost at least a grand.

70
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:55,134
Tell you what, give me a hundred bucks

71
00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:57,370
to put in the stock market,
and I'll take care of it.

72
00:02:57,405 --> 00:02:58,405
The market?

73
00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,839
Brian, you won't lose your money.

74
00:02:59,874 --> 00:03:00,940
I promise.

75
00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,641
All right, fine.

76
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:05,444
Guess I'm not the first person
to cave into family pressure.

77
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,246
Like Stephen Baldwin.

78
00:03:07,281 --> 00:03:09,582
Why aren't you a bloated alcoholic yet?

79
00:03:09,617 --> 00:03:11,984
I'm sorry, Ma!

80
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,393
What the hell?

81
00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:23,396
Jerome, what are you doing?
The fight's tonight!

82
00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:25,598
Sorry, fellas, I just got a call.

83
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,066
My mom had a stroke.

84
00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:29,135
I've got to go back
to Long Island to see her.

85
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,536
Hey, a Mets fan, huh?

86
00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:32,171
No, no, Joe, now is not the time

87
00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,140
to use your new conversation techniques.

88
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:36,876
I love her so much. Look at her.

89
00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:39,345
So beautiful.

90
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,013
And there's no one to take care of her,

91
00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:43,549
so, unfortunately,
I'll be gone for a while.

92
00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,651
I got to close this place for a month.

93
00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:47,787
- A month?!
- I wish it was February.

94
00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:50,289
'Cause, you know,
that's the shortest month.

95
00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:52,291
Nice one, Joe. You're on the board.

96
00:03:52,326 --> 00:03:54,460
Look, I don't want to
close the place either.

97
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,162
But I don't have anyone to run it.

98
00:03:56,197 --> 00:03:58,597
Really? Well, uh, you know,

99
00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:00,232
we know this place better than anyone.

100
00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:01,867
- What if we run it for you?
- Yeah!

101
00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:03,969
- That's a great idea!
- B-story!

102
00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,106
Wow, you fellas would really
watch this place for me?

103
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:09,408
Are you kidding?
Running a bar is my dream!

104
00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:11,744
Well, that and waking up a rooster.

105
00:04:17,218 --> 00:04:18,984
Dah!

106
00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,886
Enjoy the rest of your Saturday.

107
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,193
Hey, Brian, I need to talk to you

108
00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:28,961
about that money I invested for you.

109
00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:30,930
I knew it. You lost it all, didn't you?

110
00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:32,364
God, I never should have
given you my money.

111
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,301
The stock market is a sucker's
bet, like chasing your tail.

112
00:04:35,336 --> 00:04:38,003
God, it's right there,
and yet a million miles away.

113
00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,505
What are the physics of that?!

114
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,274
I didn't lose your money, Brian.
Quite the contrary.

115
00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,310
Here's a thousand to fix your car.

116
00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:45,845
And here's a thousand profit.

117
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,346
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

118
00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,849
You made $2,000 in a couple days?

119
00:04:49,884 --> 00:04:51,550
- Yep.
- Oh, my God.

120
00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:53,452
You got to teach me how to invest.

121
00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:56,021
Okay, but I can see this is
going to be a lot of work.

122
00:04:56,057 --> 00:04:59,625
So in return, you must teach me Gymkata:

123
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,461
the fusion of gymnastics and karate.

124
00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:05,931
No, Stewie, I won't do that.
It's too dangerous.

125
00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:08,434
I swore I'd never teach Gymkata again.

126
00:05:08,469 --> 00:05:10,970
Brian, there's a 22-year-old
Mongolian heiress

127
00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,805
who's being held captive
in a mountain fortress

128
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,673
that happens to have
a pommel horse in it.

129
00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:16,342
There's no other way.

130
00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,870
Okay, I'm back. Ready to invest?

131
00:05:44,905 --> 00:05:46,438
Why are you still wearing that unitard?

132
00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,607
Can't get it off
'cause my hog's too big.

133
00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:50,175
Well, here, let me help you get it off.

134
00:05:50,211 --> 00:05:53,412
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I pooped. I pooped.

135
00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:09,449
What's going on with Nikkei?

136
00:06:14,956 --> 00:06:16,322
- What are you up to?
- Are you kidding?

137
00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:17,624
I've been looking at stocks all morning.

138
00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:19,359
I'm already up five percent on the day.

139
00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,961
Wow, good for you.
You're really taking to this.

140
00:06:21,997 --> 00:06:23,830
I wish I'd brought you in
on this earlier.

141
00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:25,965
Together, we're going to make a fortune.

142
00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:27,700
Well, now, hold on, Stewie.
I'm not some run-of-the-mill

143
00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:30,170
Wall Street scumbag only
in this for the profits.

144
00:06:30,205 --> 00:06:32,672
For every dollar I make, one goes to me,

145
00:06:32,707 --> 00:06:34,407
and one goes to charity.

146
00:06:34,442 --> 00:06:36,342
I'm gonna rent a Ferrari
and cruise the pier.

147
00:06:36,378 --> 00:06:37,811
You want in?

148
00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:40,680
Well, cancer's not going anywhere.

149
00:06:40,715 --> 00:06:42,782
I'm sorry, Billy,
you're one dollar short

150
00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:44,884
of being able to afford
the surgery you need.

151
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,853
- Yeah!
- Money!

152
00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:49,189
Sweet. I know those guys.

153
00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:58,031
Wow, look at us, running the Clam.

154
00:06:58,066 --> 00:07:00,733
Joe, why are you dressed like that?

155
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:02,068
'Cause I'm a mixologist.

156
00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:04,037
Oh, cool. What can you make?

157
00:07:04,072 --> 00:07:05,672
You name it, I can make it.

158
00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,240
Could I get an old-fashioned?

159
00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,843
Classic. Rum and Coke, coming right up.

160
00:07:09,878 --> 00:07:11,444
And could I get a Moscow mule?

161
00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:14,414
Rum and Coke for my comrade.

162
00:07:14,449 --> 00:07:17,183
- I'll have a whiskey...
- Rum...

163
00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:19,452
- sour.
- Coke. Coming right up.

164
00:07:19,487 --> 00:07:22,822
- Could I get a rum and Coke?
- Uh, Pepsi okay?

165
00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,962
Brian, I've got great news.

166
00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:30,330
We're going for a ride in the car?!

167
00:07:30,365 --> 00:07:32,699
No, our portfolio's up 30%.

168
00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,435
In fact, we're so successful
now, we have to make

169
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:37,737
one of those sappy
investment commercials.

170
00:07:37,772 --> 00:07:41,140
Thanks to my investments,
I've watched my money grow.

171
00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:42,909
And my little girl.

172
00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:44,344
Dad?

173
00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:47,113
Thanks for making my big day possible.

174
00:07:47,148 --> 00:07:49,883
Don't thank me. Thank Fidelity.

175
00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,517
Okay, I'm ready to marry you now.

176
00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:53,353
Wait, what? No, I'm your dad.

177
00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:55,521
Yes, you are. This is what's happening.

178
00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:57,156
Fidelity: We're there for you

179
00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:59,592
when your baby marries his dog-dad.

180
00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:04,664
Stewie, why'd you bring me
all the way out here?

181
00:08:04,699 --> 00:08:06,466
Now that we're eccentric rich guys,

182
00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:09,702
we're going to go down 20,000
feet and pants James Cameron

183
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,771
while he's excavating the Titanic.

184
00:08:16,511 --> 00:08:17,810
There he is.

185
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,279
This is gonna be so great.

186
00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,312
Wow, business has really picked up.

187
00:08:52,347 --> 00:08:55,949
I think it's because of the
trivia night Quagmire started.

188
00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:57,216
Here we go, next question.

189
00:08:57,252 --> 00:08:58,785
And remember, no phones, people.

190
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,687
Playing an honest game, no phones.

191
00:09:00,722 --> 00:09:02,121
Okay, "In what country..."

192
00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:04,157
No phones, I'm seeing phones.

193
00:09:04,192 --> 00:09:06,059
"In what country..." No phones.

194
00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:07,961
I've been pretty cool about this so far,

195
00:09:07,996 --> 00:09:09,329
it's a gentlemen's game.

196
00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:11,898
"In what country can you find
the monuments called..."

197
00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:13,399
I see phones. I see... all right,

198
00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:14,867
you know what, that's it,
trivia night over!

199
00:09:14,903 --> 00:09:16,836
Three cotton-picking weeks,

200
00:09:16,871 --> 00:09:18,471
and no one's gotten
a single answer wrong.

201
00:09:18,506 --> 00:09:19,672
Everyone's like, "Hey, settle down",

202
00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:20,807
we're not using our phones."

203
00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,042
I see you using your damn phones!

204
00:09:23,078 --> 00:09:25,044
Just... just give me my shift drink!

205
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,980
Technically, you got to finish the game

206
00:09:27,015 --> 00:09:29,549
before you get your drink.

207
00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:38,992
"In which country..."

208
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:41,094
And you know,
I think some people may be here

209
00:09:41,129 --> 00:09:42,595
because of me.

210
00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,431
I spread the word about
my sweet playlist.

211
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:48,901
This is just a bunch of covers
of "Life Is A Highway."

212
00:09:48,937 --> 00:09:50,603
Yeah.

213
00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:52,038
Joe...

214
00:09:52,073 --> 00:09:54,173
you did a really great job.

215
00:09:54,209 --> 00:09:55,375
Thanks.

216
00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:58,878
? Life is a highway ?

217
00:09:58,913 --> 00:10:00,480
? I want to... ?

218
00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:02,882
(BLEEP), we went to the wrong place.

219
00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:04,684
Hey, guys, I had a great idea.

220
00:10:04,719 --> 00:10:06,586
You know how people love
mechanical bulls?

221
00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:09,655
Well, I got something even better!

222
00:10:11,326 --> 00:10:12,458
A real bull?

223
00:10:12,494 --> 00:10:14,627
If that thing gets mad,
it'll destroy the bar!

224
00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,062
Yeah, right. How can it get mad

225
00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:18,598
when I cinched its balls with my belt?

226
00:10:18,633 --> 00:10:21,401
See, it loves it here.
It's even picking out a song.

227
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,704
? Life is a highway... ?

228
00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:27,940
Excellent choice. You know,
not to tell tales out of school,

229
00:10:27,976 --> 00:10:31,277
but I sucked my first jug to this song.

230
00:10:31,312 --> 00:10:33,513
? If you are going my way ?

231
00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:36,049
? I want to drive it ?

232
00:10:36,084 --> 00:10:37,617
? All night long ?

233
00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:42,989
? Life is a highway ?

234
00:10:43,024 --> 00:10:45,324
? I want to ride it ?

235
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,527
? All night long ?

236
00:10:47,562 --> 00:10:50,063
? Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ?

237
00:10:50,098 --> 00:10:52,799
? If you are going my way ?

238
00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,600
? I want to drive it ?

239
00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:58,604
? All night long... ?

240
00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,108
Edgar, do you know anything about this?

241
00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:03,509
What? N-No.

242
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:04,644
Edgar?

243
00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,980
I was at Stanley Kaplan
preparing for the A.C.T.

244
00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:09,882
Well, then I am sanguine.

245
00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,050
Huh?

246
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:12,819
Aha!

247
00:11:18,193 --> 00:11:19,826
Guys, wake up.

248
00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:21,661
Oh, man, the bull kicked our asses.

249
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,096
And totally trashed the bar.

250
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:25,731
What the hell is that?

251
00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,233
Oh, that's my ringtone.

252
00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:29,368
It's from Game of Thrones
when Stannis's daughter

253
00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:30,937
is burned alive at the stake.

254
00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:33,372
No way. It's from when Arya
and that other tiny girl

255
00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:34,640
fight to the death.

256
00:11:34,676 --> 00:11:36,642
Nah, that scream
is from the Red Wedding.

257
00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:40,379
It's the sound of a mama being
stabbed right in the baby.

258
00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:41,848
Hey, Jerome.

259
00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:43,049
Hey, Peter.

260
00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:44,717
I have some bad news.

261
00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,219
My mama...

262
00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:48,855
she's dead.

263
00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:50,156
Aw, man, that sucks, Lois.

264
00:11:50,191 --> 00:11:51,824
Your friend is probably just jealous.

265
00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,126
Peter.

266
00:11:53,161 --> 00:11:54,494
There's nothing left for me here,

267
00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,329
so I'm coming home tomorrow.

268
00:11:56,364 --> 00:11:59,866
That painting's all I got
to remember her by.

269
00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:02,001
You take good care of it, Peter.

270
00:12:02,036 --> 00:12:04,203
It's my prized possession.

271
00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:10,576
I'll see you tomorrow.

272
00:12:11,613 --> 00:12:13,079
What are we gonna do?

273
00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:15,515
Yeah. When Jerome sees that
painting, he's gonna kill us.

274
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,650
Don't worry, guys,
he's got another one over there.

275
00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:19,318
Peter, that's Bruno Mars.

276
00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:20,419
Bruno Mars?

277
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:21,487
Who's she?

278
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,555
He's a man.

279
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:23,823
And he's not even black.

280
00:12:23,858 --> 00:12:27,760
He's a beautiful,
mixed-up tomorrow person.

281
00:12:34,235 --> 00:12:35,501
What is this place?

282
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,170
This is what you dragged me
out of the house

283
00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,538
first thing in the morning for?

284
00:12:38,573 --> 00:12:40,540
Yeah, it's a great company
I found to invest in.

285
00:12:40,575 --> 00:12:42,275
Korean. They make protein shakes.

286
00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,943
The profits are off the charts.

287
00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,578
Well, why is it
in the middle of nowhere?

288
00:12:45,613 --> 00:12:47,280
And why are there no windows?

289
00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:49,115
And why is there
a security guard out front?

290
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,616
All these questions?

291
00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:53,186
This is why I didn't want to
let you have a soda in the car.

292
00:12:53,221 --> 00:12:54,453
It's not 'cause of the soda.

293
00:12:54,489 --> 00:12:56,389
God.

294
00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,563
Something's going on here.

295
00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:05,464
I'm taking a look.

296
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,633
What are you doing?
It's just a protein shake.

297
00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:09,569
And it's the cheapest on the market.

298
00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:16,776
Uh, Brian, I think I know
why it's so cheap.

299
00:13:16,811 --> 00:13:20,179
They're made of dog meat.

300
00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,282
Oh, my God, look at
all those poor, sad dogs.

301
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:26,482
? Life is a highway ?

302
00:13:26,988 --> 00:13:32,425
? I want to ride it all night long ?

303
00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:36,629
? Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ?

304
00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:39,365
They're all in trouble.
Even Rover Dangerfield.

305
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,500
Oh, I tell you, I got to pay
more attention, you know?

306
00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:43,236
When the Korean guy said "shake,"

307
00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:44,470
I thought he meant my paw.

308
00:13:44,505 --> 00:13:46,272
Then he said I was gonna be protein.

309
00:13:46,307 --> 00:13:48,241
I said, "Damn right, I'm very pro-teen",

310
00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:49,642
I'm dating a 16-year-old."

311
00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:52,111
Oh, boy, I tell you,
I came in this place a purebred.

312
00:13:52,146 --> 00:13:53,579
Now I'm leaving it a purée.

313
00:13:54,782 --> 00:13:56,983
No respect, no respect at all.

314
00:13:57,018 --> 00:13:58,384
Brian, let's get out of here.

315
00:13:58,419 --> 00:13:59,619
What do you mean? I'm taking a meeting.

316
00:13:59,654 --> 00:14:00,920
This company's worth a fortune.

317
00:14:00,955 --> 00:14:03,089
What? You still want to invest in this?

318
00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:05,057
- You can't be serious.
- Sorry, Stewie.

319
00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:08,194
Wall Street is a people-eat-dog
world, everyone knows that.

320
00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:09,328
Oh, my God.

321
00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:10,963
Brian, you've turned into a monster.

322
00:14:10,999 --> 00:14:12,164
Hey!

323
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,400
That's offensive
to the monster community.

324
00:14:14,435 --> 00:14:15,901
Yeah, some of us are nice.

325
00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:17,236
Yeah, real nice.

326
00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:19,972
Weren't you charged with
sexually abusing a 16-year-old?

327
00:14:20,008 --> 00:14:21,707
Elmo's accuser recanted

328
00:14:21,743 --> 00:14:24,310
and admitted the relationship
was consensual.

329
00:14:24,345 --> 00:14:26,312
Yeah, but wasn't there another
case that was only thrown out

330
00:14:26,347 --> 00:14:28,514
because the statute
of limitations had expired?

331
00:14:28,549 --> 00:14:30,549
Elmo no comment.

332
00:14:32,787 --> 00:14:33,819
Cookie!

333
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,187
He wants a cookie.

334
00:14:35,223 --> 00:14:36,622
Oh, I love the Muppets.

335
00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:44,138
I can't believe you still want
to invest in this.

336
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:45,473
They use dog meat.

337
00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,975
How can you condone
the eating of other dogs?

338
00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:49,644
Oh, come on, Stewie, it's their way.

339
00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,579
Who are we to judge other cultures?

340
00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:53,514
Look, I'm investing in this company.

341
00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,283
And if you're too scared
to do it with me,

342
00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:56,918
then maybe I'm working
with the wrong partner.

343
00:14:56,953 --> 00:14:58,119
What are you talking about?

344
00:14:58,154 --> 00:14:59,720
I'm the one who taught you
how to invest.

345
00:14:59,756 --> 00:15:00,855
You can't ditch me.

346
00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:01,923
Sorry, Stewie.

347
00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:03,891
When I left you, I was but a learner.

348
00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:06,460
Now I am the master.

349
00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,695
Hee-ya!

350
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:10,064
Yeah. No one in Star Wars says "hee-ya."

351
00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:11,399
You know what, Brian, forget it.

352
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,267
We are done. You ruined this.

353
00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:16,170
We were a good team,
like Ricki and the Flash.

354
00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:17,738
I love you, Ricki.

355
00:15:17,774 --> 00:15:20,107
I love you, the Flash.

356
00:15:20,143 --> 00:15:21,742
Stewie, I don't think that's right.

357
00:15:21,778 --> 00:15:23,177
Ah, I didn't see the movie.

358
00:15:23,212 --> 00:15:24,845
Yeah, no, I didn't see it
either, but, yeah, the,

359
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:27,014
"the Flash" was the name
of her rock band.

360
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:28,282
Oh, you saw it.

361
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,717
Yeah, I saw it.

362
00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:31,752
So did I.

363
00:15:34,924 --> 00:15:37,258
- This is stupid.
-Come on, guys. We got no choice.

364
00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:39,794
We have to paint that portrait
of Jerome's mother ourselves,

365
00:15:39,829 --> 00:15:41,629
and this is the only class in town.

366
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:43,297
But aren't these classes
just for lame chicks

367
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,033
who want an excuse to drink together?

368
00:15:48,972 --> 00:15:50,104
I'm having so much fun.

369
00:15:50,139 --> 00:15:51,205
Me, too.

370
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,974
This wine is an artist.

371
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:55,242
And it painted my smile.

372
00:15:57,947 --> 00:16:00,781
I don't think Paul
really wants to marry me.

373
00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:02,783
I, uh...

374
00:16:02,819 --> 00:16:05,286
I'm not sure what we're doing now.

375
00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:12,727
Hi, Brian Griffin.

376
00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:15,930
I have an appointment to see
your CEO about an investment.

377
00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,332
Ah, yes, we're waiting for you.

378
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:21,836
Here, breathe deeply
into this investors' rag.

379
00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:24,605
All right. Now, I'm not sure
if I'm saying this right,

380
00:16:24,641 --> 00:16:27,842
but, uh, "Boo. Cocky."

381
00:16:33,650 --> 00:16:34,982
Can you believe Brian?

382
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:37,518
Thinking he can fire me
when I'm the one who taught him?

383
00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:38,686
I have had it with him.

384
00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:39,920
Absolutely had it.

385
00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,288
He's just so selfish.

386
00:16:41,324 --> 00:16:42,590
He drives me crazy.

387
00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,892
I don't know why I put up
with it, I guess...

388
00:16:44,927 --> 00:16:47,895
I guess I just have
a forgiving personality.

389
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:50,798
But enough about that, I'm
probably starting to bore you.

390
00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:53,701
It's just that whenever
I start talking about Brian,

391
00:16:53,736 --> 00:16:55,236
I lose all track of time.

392
00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:57,038
You would think,
after all these years together,

393
00:16:57,073 --> 00:17:00,007
that I could simply tell myself
enough is enough.

394
00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:03,978
You've reached
Stewie Griffin. Leave a message.

395
00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:06,047
Hey! Give me that phone.

396
00:17:06,082 --> 00:17:08,149
Stewie, it's Brian, you got
to help me, I'm gonna get ea...

397
00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:10,184
Damn it.

398
00:17:10,219 --> 00:17:13,287
Well, I guess Stewie's my only hope now.

399
00:17:13,322 --> 00:17:15,222
I can't believe I might die like this.

400
00:17:15,258 --> 00:17:17,992
I always thought I'd go
the way all dogs dream about:

401
00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:21,195
slowly, and at great
inconvenience to my owners.

402
00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:22,763
Come on, boy. Here we go.

403
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:25,266
Here we go. Let's get you
to the living room.

404
00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,569
Lois, wrap one of his
"walking to the car" pills

405
00:17:28,604 --> 00:17:30,237
in roast beef and peanut butter.

406
00:17:30,273 --> 00:17:32,239
I'm gonna hold his hips
while he stands confused

407
00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:33,874
in front of the water dish.

408
00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,476
Go on, boy. It's right there.

409
00:17:40,717 --> 00:17:42,416
Come on, boy, it's right there.

410
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,951
It's water. You like it.

411
00:17:46,723 --> 00:17:47,855
There you go.

412
00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:49,690
You're doing it yourself.

413
00:17:53,296 --> 00:17:55,096
Oh, God. Jerome's gonna be here
any minute,

414
00:17:55,131 --> 00:17:56,430
and then we're totally screwed.

415
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,699
Well, I guess all we can do now
is the honorable thing:

416
00:17:58,735 --> 00:18:01,702
make realistic puppets
of ourselves to leave in the bar

417
00:18:01,738 --> 00:18:03,904
for Jerome to beat the crap out of.

418
00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,875
What the hell happened to my bar?

419
00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:09,376
And my painting!

420
00:18:09,412 --> 00:18:11,245
Well, don't just sit there staring at me

421
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,315
with your limp limbs and
your straw-filled aid shirts.

422
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,486
Wow, it's working!

423
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:19,820
Good plan, Peter.

424
00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:21,288
Thanks, guys.

425
00:18:21,324 --> 00:18:23,524
Oh, no, I left the real me in there.

426
00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:25,626
He's falling for it, guys.

427
00:18:25,661 --> 00:18:27,294
He thinks I'm me.

428
00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:34,101
Come on, Stewie,
check your damn messages.

429
00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:39,240
God, that must be
where they do the deed.

430
00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:42,042
I hope it's at least
peaceful and humane.

431
00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:44,812
Vick!

432
00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:45,946
Oh, boy.

433
00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,250
And Eli Manning!

434
00:18:49,285 --> 00:18:51,152
Aw, I didn't know that
about Eli Manning.

435
00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:53,587
Oh, yeah. I'm a real idiot psychopath.

436
00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:00,494
What was that?

437
00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:04,298
What the...?

438
00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,601
Good job, Rupert.

439
00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,637
Now let's hope we can find Brian
before it's too late.

440
00:19:09,672 --> 00:19:11,372
Hey, don't touch me, I'm rich!

441
00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:15,142
Ugh, he just makes it
so difficult to be on his side.

442
00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:20,781
Oh, come on, there's got to be
a way we can work this out.

443
00:19:20,817 --> 00:19:22,349
Rupert, music!

444
00:19:23,486 --> 00:19:25,452
? Life is a highway ?

445
00:19:25,488 --> 00:19:29,290
? I want to ride it all night long... ?

446
00:19:29,325 --> 00:19:30,891
Oh, no. He knows Gymkata.

447
00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:32,126
There is no defense.

448
00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:35,362
Everyone, run for safety
over by those uneven bars.

449
00:19:35,398 --> 00:19:36,897
? I want to drive it... ?

450
00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:38,866
Bad idea, buddy.

451
00:19:42,138 --> 00:19:44,305
? Life is a highway ?

452
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:47,975
? I want to ride it all night long ?

453
00:19:49,712 --> 00:19:51,478
? Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ?

454
00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:53,380
? If you're going my way ?

455
00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:54,648
? I want to drive it... ?

456
00:19:54,684 --> 00:19:57,151
Stewie! Oh, my God, thank you.

457
00:19:58,521 --> 00:19:59,820
I'm so sorry, Stewie.

458
00:19:59,856 --> 00:20:01,922
I guess I just lost my head.

459
00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,591
Well, lesson learned, Brian.

460
00:20:03,626 --> 00:20:05,359
Money doesn't buy happiness.

461
00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:06,827
This does:

462
00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:09,196
? Life is a highway ?

463
00:20:09,232 --> 00:20:12,800
? I want to ride it all night long ?

464
00:20:12,835 --> 00:20:15,703
? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ?

465
00:20:15,738 --> 00:20:18,706
? If you're going my way ?

466
00:20:18,741 --> 00:20:23,010
? I want to drive it all night long ?

467
00:20:23,045 --> 00:20:24,278
? Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ?

468
00:20:29,238 --> 00:20:32,372
Wow, Stewie. I am so sorry
I became such a jerk.

469
00:20:32,407 --> 00:20:34,674
But I guess I learned my lesson
about the evils of Wall Street.

470
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:36,009
What are you talking about?

471
00:20:36,044 --> 00:20:37,510
This isn't about Wall Street,
this is about you.

472
00:20:37,546 --> 00:20:38,745
Me?

473
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:40,180
I've been investing
in the market forever,

474
00:20:40,215 --> 00:20:41,348
and doing just fine.

475
00:20:41,383 --> 00:20:42,582
You did it for one week,

476
00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:44,851
and were literally eating your own kind.

477
00:20:44,886 --> 00:20:46,186
This isn't about Wall Street.

478
00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:47,687
I cannot stress that enough.

479
00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,689
Well, money is the root of all evil.

480
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:51,191
No, it's not. It's just you.

481
00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:53,260
Hello, others, I am the father.

482
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,427
Where is the mother,

483
00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:57,530
and what kind of sex
does she like to have?

484
00:20:57,531 --> 00:21:00,531
- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
- www.addic7ed.com -