1 00:00:00,415 --> 00:00:04,133 During your weekend here, you will explore ways through yoga, 2 00:00:04,158 --> 00:00:06,844 breathing and other mindful practices 3 00:00:06,879 --> 00:00:10,021 to reconnect with yourself and your partner. 4 00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:12,068 Also, for a small donation, 5 00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,438 we have an on-site shaman who can heal your chakras. 6 00:00:15,507 --> 00:00:18,408 Small donation? Sounds like a "chakra con". 7 00:00:19,277 --> 00:00:21,177 You're supposed to turn that off. 8 00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:23,046 - I'm sorry. It's work. - Okay, so is a marriage. 9 00:00:23,115 --> 00:00:24,514 You know, we traveled all this way. The least you could do 10 00:00:24,583 --> 00:00:25,749 is take this seriously. 11 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,283 I'm sorry. You're right. 12 00:00:27,352 --> 00:00:30,487 Oh, my God, that... that crappy breakfast was $55. 13 00:00:30,555 --> 00:00:31,821 - For flax and berries. - Yeah. 14 00:00:31,890 --> 00:00:33,923 I thought this was supposed to be one fee up front, all in. 15 00:00:34,026 --> 00:00:35,258 I wish you were all in, Mitchell. 16 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,627 I'm sor... I am. Starting... now. Okay? 17 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:40,130 That wasn't me. 18 00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:43,066 I have invited the Tibetan Singing Bowl to ring, 19 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,668 reminding us to all turn down the volume 20 00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:48,204 and find the beauty in silence. 21 00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:52,175 That was unfortunate. 22 00:00:52,277 --> 00:00:54,811 My apologies. We happen to be next door to the Royals. 23 00:00:54,913 --> 00:00:57,080 Oh, my God, we just binged "The Crown". 24 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,915 W-W-Which royals? William and Kate? 25 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,216 Harry and the "Suits" girl? 26 00:01:00,318 --> 00:01:03,119 Actually, it's the Kansas City Royals. Spring training, 27 00:01:03,221 --> 00:01:05,455 their practice field is next door. 28 00:01:05,557 --> 00:01:07,390 Growing up a Royals fan, it was always my dream 29 00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:08,858 to see them at spring training. 30 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:10,760 So, I just decided, after the retreat was over, 31 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:13,296 I'm just gonna swing by, you know, grab an autograph, 32 00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:15,732 maybe whisper an opinion in the manager's ear, 33 00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:18,234 be discovered as a great baseball mind. 34 00:01:18,336 --> 00:01:19,903 Then the Yankees would come calling, 35 00:01:20,005 --> 00:01:21,871 and then I'd have to choose between the team I love 36 00:01:21,973 --> 00:01:23,573 and the... the big payout. 37 00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:25,475 But I'm getting ahead of myself. 38 00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:28,578 Not to worry. This is their last day of training, 39 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:29,846 and they leave tonight. 40 00:01:29,948 --> 00:01:31,114 - Excuse me, question. - Yes. 41 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,750 Yes, hi. Will we have an opportunity to explore 42 00:01:33,852 --> 00:01:35,718 these... these beautiful grounds on our own? 43 00:01:35,821 --> 00:01:37,821 Absolutely. Tomorrow at sunset. 44 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,656 After goat yoga. 45 00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:43,693 Oh, my God! Can it get any worse?! 46 00:01:43,795 --> 00:01:48,795 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com 47 00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:59,042 Arrgh! Ughh! 48 00:01:59,144 --> 00:02:02,278 What are you doing? I grunted less when I was giving birth to Joe. 49 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:05,849 You were pushing six and a half pounds, I'm pushing 220. 50 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,183 You're dressing younger. 51 00:02:07,285 --> 00:02:08,852 You're exercising. 52 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:11,955 You only had one breakfast this morning. 53 00:02:12,057 --> 00:02:14,591 - Who is she, Jay? I'll kill her. - Relax, would ya? 54 00:02:14,693 --> 00:02:16,893 I'm just trying to get in shape. 55 00:02:16,995 --> 00:02:18,628 Okay, but hurry, because we have to go 56 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,697 and pick up Joe at the birthday party. 57 00:02:20,799 --> 00:02:22,065 Wait a minute. 58 00:02:22,167 --> 00:02:23,833 Is that what this is all about... 59 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,235 Henry's father? 60 00:02:25,337 --> 00:02:26,936 I don't understand why you're so insecure 61 00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:28,872 just because he's younger, 62 00:02:28,974 --> 00:02:31,007 stronger, and more rugged than you are. 63 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,810 Go easy. I'm working on only one breakfast. 64 00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,812 Joe won't shut up about his new friend's dad. 65 00:02:35,914 --> 00:02:38,081 "Henry's dad is so tough". Who cares? 66 00:02:38,183 --> 00:02:40,383 He was a stunt double in a couple of "Bourne" movies. 67 00:02:40,485 --> 00:02:42,585 From the first time Joe went over there, 68 00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:45,421 that guy's been trying to prove how cool he is. 69 00:02:45,524 --> 00:02:46,556 Joe! Let's go! 70 00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:47,891 Heads up! 71 00:02:50,061 --> 00:02:51,761 - What the hell?! - Yeah! 72 00:02:51,863 --> 00:02:53,396 He's Jason Bourne! 73 00:02:53,498 --> 00:02:54,631 That's make-believe. 74 00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,133 Matt Damon's Jason Bourne. 75 00:02:57,235 --> 00:03:00,170 Growing up, I thought my dad was the coolest. 76 00:03:00,272 --> 00:03:02,505 And that made me feel good about myself. 77 00:03:02,607 --> 00:03:04,073 I mean, I try to stay with it. 78 00:03:04,176 --> 00:03:07,043 Exactly! Look at you, you even have a smart watch. 79 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:08,745 Yeah, the damn thing tells me when to stand up, 80 00:03:08,847 --> 00:03:09,979 when to breathe. 81 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,348 - Your body mass index is... - Nobody asked! 82 00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:17,053 Which have more chromosomes, potatoes or humans? 83 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,556 Humans, right? Potatoes?! 84 00:03:20,892 --> 00:03:23,693 Oh, Krazy Kups, what can't you teach us? 85 00:03:23,795 --> 00:03:25,595 Are you doing all this to impress Haley's boyfriend? 86 00:03:25,697 --> 00:03:28,231 Haley's dating this genius astrophysics professor 87 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,699 who's somehow making her smarter 88 00:03:29,801 --> 00:03:31,768 because, last week, I called Pluto a planet 89 00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:33,369 and Haley laughed at me. 90 00:03:33,471 --> 00:03:35,171 In pity. 91 00:03:35,273 --> 00:03:36,973 - Haley. - Haley. 92 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:38,474 Haley. 93 00:03:39,444 --> 00:03:42,445 Do we think that Haley is suited to a professor, 94 00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:44,981 because I more saw her with a Gilligan type? 95 00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,849 Come on, now. Lots of happy couples 96 00:03:46,952 --> 00:03:48,952 aren't the exact same level of smart. 97 00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:50,954 That's true. We work. 98 00:03:51,056 --> 00:03:52,155 Yeah. 99 00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,692 Wait. When you say, "We work," 100 00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:57,994 do you think you're smarter than me or I'm smarter than you? 101 00:03:58,096 --> 00:03:59,829 I think I'm smart enough not to have this conversation. 102 00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:01,397 Oh, my God! 103 00:04:01,499 --> 00:04:04,734 You do! You think you're smarter than me! 104 00:04:04,836 --> 00:04:07,604 Okay, hotshot. How many patents do you have? 105 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,739 Headscratcher TM, Aspirin Gun, 106 00:04:09,841 --> 00:04:12,242 Polite Car Horn that'll put an end to road rage. 107 00:04:12,344 --> 00:04:14,043 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. 108 00:04:14,145 --> 00:04:16,813 Can we just not get into a whole thing before this lunch? 109 00:04:16,915 --> 00:04:18,414 What lunch? I just ate a pie. 110 00:04:18,483 --> 00:04:21,217 Your sister is dating a professor of astrophysics, 111 00:04:21,286 --> 00:04:23,586 and he's coming here today to meet us. 112 00:04:23,688 --> 00:04:25,588 Oh, good, someone to talk to. 113 00:04:25,657 --> 00:04:27,957 I'm tired of dumbing it down for you chuckle-heads. 114 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,893 Bill, are you on your way? 115 00:04:30,996 --> 00:04:32,662 Stay in the car. I'll meet you outside. 116 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,897 It was hard for me when Haley started dating Arvin, 117 00:04:34,966 --> 00:04:37,333 my professor and science hero and... 118 00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:39,369 okay, fine, crush. 119 00:04:39,437 --> 00:04:43,339 I was so upset, I went home, and I may have overindulged... 120 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,841 on Bagel Bites. 121 00:04:47,445 --> 00:04:48,745 - Hey. - Aah! 122 00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:50,313 It's okay. You're safe. 123 00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:51,547 But I'm gonna need you to come with me. 124 00:04:51,616 --> 00:04:53,683 I don't really think you need... Okay. 125 00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,435 He was like a superhero. 126 00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:56,452 Is that your dad? 127 00:04:56,521 --> 00:04:59,188 A beautiful... not-so-smart superhero. 128 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,923 The last thing I wanted was Professor Fennerman 129 00:05:00,992 --> 00:05:02,825 finding out I was dating a dummy. 130 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:06,129 A sweet, chiseled dummy. 131 00:05:06,197 --> 00:05:10,199 Alex, you didn't mention you've got a firefighter boyfriend. 132 00:05:10,302 --> 00:05:11,501 Yeah! It's great. 133 00:05:11,569 --> 00:05:13,136 "Take that, you fire". We gotta go. 134 00:05:13,238 --> 00:05:15,138 Oh, but your parents just invited me to stay for lunch. 135 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,639 Score! 136 00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:19,409 By the way, you look way younger than your poster. 137 00:05:19,477 --> 00:05:21,377 We really should get going before we... 138 00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,179 we miss our plans and stuff, right? 139 00:05:23,248 --> 00:05:24,447 - Yeah. - Uh, yeah... 140 00:05:24,549 --> 00:05:26,616 Alex! I didn't know you were joining us for lunch. 141 00:05:26,718 --> 00:05:28,518 Oh! No, no. 142 00:05:28,586 --> 00:05:32,355 My friend and I have some plans we really can't get out of. 143 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,891 Oh, no, I could totally just show you "Backdraft" later. 144 00:05:34,993 --> 00:05:37,260 It's my brother's DVD. He doesn't even know I took it. 145 00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:40,263 - So... - Mom, Dad, this is Arvin. 146 00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,332 Hello, Arvin. It's a pleasure to meet you. 147 00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:45,234 Yes, you are the first TED Talkin' science superstar 148 00:05:45,337 --> 00:05:46,669 - we've ever had in our house. - Mm-hmm. 149 00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:50,039 Well, as long as I'm a "superstar" and not a supernova. 150 00:05:54,713 --> 00:05:56,079 You don't even know what you're laughing at. 151 00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,613 - I get it. - I got it more. 152 00:05:57,716 --> 00:06:00,950 I don't get it, but, uh, you sound like Austin Powers, man. 153 00:06:04,633 --> 00:06:07,065 Wow. Henry's dad did such a great job 154 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,900 with the birthday party for the kids, huh? 155 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,468 "Henry's dad". "Henry's dad". 156 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,338 I took Joe to see "African Queen" in CinemaScope. 157 00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:14,906 Oh, hey. Good to see you again, Jay. 158 00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:16,441 - Hi. - Hi, I'm Clay. 159 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,343 I'd shake your hand, but I'm a little banged up. 160 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,345 I fell out of a five-story building this morning, 161 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,214 - into a net. - He fell out of bed this morning. 162 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,383 Hey, honey. Come down and meet these guys. 163 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:27,652 Oh, hey! 164 00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:32,090 Welcome. I'm Jenny, Henry's mom. 165 00:06:32,159 --> 00:06:33,325 Joe's parents... Jay, Gloria. 166 00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:34,526 - Hi. - Gloria. 167 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:37,495 Mama! Henry's mom just did the wall so fast! 168 00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:38,663 You try it. 169 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,199 Oh, I climb already into these heels this morning. 170 00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,834 It's too much for me today. 171 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,437 - I'm going up again! - Okay. 172 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,939 Oh, I used to love wearing shoes like that. 173 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,275 But after marching around in combat boots for two years, 174 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,244 I made a deal with my feet I would never hurt them again. 175 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:55,447 My beautiful wife did two tours in Iraq. 176 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:58,049 Wow, Gloria, you're not that different. 177 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:01,186 Yesterday, she did two tours of a sales rack. 178 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:05,357 Help! I'm too high! 179 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,559 Go ahead, just jump, buddy. I'll catch ya. 180 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,862 - But your sciatica! - I'm on it. 181 00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,631 What is the hurry? He's on a rope. 182 00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:17,769 - She's making quite a meal out of this. - Yeah. 183 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,141 Attaboy. 184 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,877 Thank you, Jenny. You're so cool. 185 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,613 Ah, look at that, Gloria. She saved him. 186 00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,548 Just like she saved America. 187 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,085 Can I have some more cake? Jenny made it. 188 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,353 I used to cook for my squadron. 189 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,755 You've done so many great things 190 00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,690 that you keep telling us about. 191 00:07:40,527 --> 00:07:42,660 Here we are... our sensory deprivation tanks 192 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,095 will disconnect you from the world 193 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,064 and connect you with yourselves. 194 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,899 Okay, so, this looks a little coffin-y. 195 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,902 So, I'm not so sure... about my husband. 196 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,605 He had an MRI last year, and he sort of freaked out. 197 00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,106 So, do you have anything bigger, 198 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,475 like, an indoor pool or a family tank? 199 00:07:57,577 --> 00:07:58,877 Okay, Mitchell, I-I'm fine. 200 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:01,012 We're here to evolve and grow... 201 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,947 So, the float lasts for one hour, 202 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,183 during which most people simply experience 203 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:07,252 a deep, relaxed state. 204 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,821 Most people? W-What about the rest? W-What do they experience? 205 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:12,290 Okay, a-are these scratches on this lid here? 206 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:14,826 Oh, come on, Mitchell. The flower that blooms in adversity 207 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:16,795 is the most rare and beautiful of all. 208 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:17,962 Very well put. 209 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:20,365 He didn't make that up. It's from "Mulan". 210 00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,000 Our daughter made us watch it a thousand times. 211 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:25,603 I... Well, I'm lashing! Okay, maybe we should just float. 212 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:29,040 - Yeah, yeah, okay. - Let's just float. 213 00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,708 Okay. 214 00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,785 I tried to relax in there, I really did. 215 00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:41,953 But it was difficult. 216 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,255 I-I guess because I felt like I was, um... 217 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,423 Oh, what's the word? 218 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,858 Dying. 219 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,359 But I got past that, 220 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,229 only to start reliving every mistake I have ever made, 221 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,665 like when I went to an Oscar party and I said 222 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:56,768 "Bett" Davis in front of a room full of vicious gays. 223 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,636 Honestly, the only thing that kept me in there 224 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,638 was the knowledge that Cam was right next door. 225 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,241 Go Royals! I-I love you! 226 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,509 It was a solid plan... 227 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,411 just go for a quick peek, take some pictures, 228 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,012 run back, splash some water in my hair, 229 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:11,516 "Oh, Mitchell, isn't floating so relaxing?" 230 00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:17,455 Got it! 231 00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:18,489 Nice catch. 232 00:09:18,492 --> 00:09:20,058 - Oh. - That was good. 233 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,961 Oh, my gosh. Uh, M-Mr. Brett. I didn't know you would be here. 234 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,095 Hi. Call me George. 235 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,330 - Oh, George. - Yeah, how are ya? 236 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,565 - Uh, good. My name's Cameron. - Nice to meet you, Cam. 237 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:28,833 Nice to meet you. Been a fan for... 238 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,268 Hey, do you mind if I get a picture? 239 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:32,637 Not at all. Not at all. 300 bucks, how's that sound? 240 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,639 I'm retired. 241 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,274 - 300? - I'm just kidding. 242 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,209 Come on, it's free. 243 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,410 Okay... Ow! 244 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,647 Alright. There it is. 245 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:44,449 - There they are! - There ya go! 246 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:46,184 Well, listen, I don't want to take up too much of your time. 247 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,585 - Thank you s... - I got all the time in the world. 248 00:09:47,654 --> 00:09:49,087 I'm not playing. I'm just coaching. 249 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:50,321 - Okay. - Yeah. Come here. 250 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,990 Let me tell you the story about the Pine Tar game. 251 00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,391 - Oh, wow! - You wanna hear that? 252 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,692 - Sure. - Come on. 253 00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:56,394 - Okay. - But first, let me tell you about... 254 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,429 I'm gonna tell you about dinner the night before. 255 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,168 You must be the genius boyfriend. 256 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,736 That is what the guys call me. 257 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:06,404 They're always, like, you know, 258 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:09,474 "Hey, genius". I'm like, "Hey, guys". 259 00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,809 So, tell me, are there aliens? 260 00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,144 You kidding? 100%. 261 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,847 Oh, I knew it. Wait, and the zombiepocalypse? 262 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,315 Dude, I tell everyone, 263 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,752 "Start building up an immunity to zombie bites. Now". 264 00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,887 I'm so glad we talked. 265 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,323 Um. Sorry for the interruption. 266 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,159 - Everything okay? - Well, the short story is, yes. 267 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,196 The long story is, the theory on which I've based 268 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,698 much of my career has just been disproven. 269 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,800 What? Your Vacuum Energy Density Theory? 270 00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,389 - I'm... I'm so sorry. - Me, too. 271 00:10:37,414 --> 00:10:40,572 That was the density theory I thought really worked. 272 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,941 Really, Phil, what was your second choice? 273 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,243 Well, that's all part of the process, isn't it? 274 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,546 My theory actually invalidated someone else's. 275 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,615 He jumped off a building... 276 00:10:50,717 --> 00:10:52,750 just very dramatic. 277 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:55,954 But, well, I'm British. So, no worries. 278 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,156 What smells so good? 279 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,857 Uh. Uh, it's the chicken! 280 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:02,360 So, Bill, you are a firefighter? 281 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:04,929 Yeah, my three favorite things are helping people, 282 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,332 sliding down poles, and hanging off trucks, 283 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,567 so I figured might as well make a career out of it. 284 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:10,902 Well, it's good that your favorite things 285 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:14,239 weren't chloroform, duct tape, and windowless vans. 286 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,210 Claire, the joke is he'd be a kidnapper. 287 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:20,411 I got it. 288 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,648 You know, Phil used to think it was "duck" tape. 289 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,083 Like, duck. 290 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,318 Claire didn't understand the ending of "La La Land". 291 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,921 Sorry. They're not normally like this. 292 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,155 Clearly, they're going through something 293 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,724 they can't even drop for one important lunch. 294 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,259 They're arguing over who's smarter, 295 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,893 and there's only one way to settle it. 296 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,528 Another time, in the presence of a marriage counselor? 297 00:11:37,631 --> 00:11:39,030 Nope. Brain Battle. 298 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,765 No. No, we're not doing that right now. 299 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,667 I'm so sorry, Arvin. We're being silly. 300 00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,502 "How many presidents died in office?" 301 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,637 - Eight. - Six. 302 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,005 The correct answer is eight. 303 00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,240 - Ha! Ha! - Damn it. Give me another one. 304 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,942 Why was six afraid of seven? 305 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,879 'Cause seven, eight, nine. 306 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,948 Like he "ate" it. 307 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,249 "Who wrote 'Moby Dick'?" 308 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,318 Herman Munster. Herman Munster. 309 00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,120 - Herman Melville. - Melville! 310 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,555 "How many moons does Jupiter have?" 311 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,992 Oh, is it alright if I take this one? 312 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,061 - Mm-hmm. - 27. 313 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,162 67. 314 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,897 Hmm? No, that's... that's wrong. 315 00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:17,669 67 is Uranus and Jupiter's 27, right, Alex? 316 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,504 Actually, no. 317 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,005 But it's a simple mistake, though. 318 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:24,008 - You just flipped them. - Well, this is mortifying, isn't it? 319 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,845 I have a doctorate in astrophysics. Idiot. 320 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,582 First, some puffed-up Swedes invalidate my life's work. 321 00:12:31,685 --> 00:12:35,753 And then I'm bested by a little bedtime gurgle cup! 322 00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:38,022 I'm sorry. I'm going to need a moment. 323 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,158 67 moons. What an idiot. 324 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,561 Well, all's I know is 325 00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:45,229 the Earth only has one moon 326 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,566 and I saw a documentary and we didn't even land on it. 327 00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:50,601 Oh, my God, stop talking. 328 00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,072 You know, you're being kind of mean. 329 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,406 I'm gonna need a moment, too. 330 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,008 This is why I don't bring boyfriends home. 331 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,911 Why didn't you ask me before inviting him to lunch? 332 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,916 "This Paul Newman character had a 'cool hand'?" 333 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,851 - Luke! - Yep. 334 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,220 Counts! Counts. 335 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:13,458 Henry's dad climbed the wall with one hand! It was awesome! 336 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,526 Yeah, well, his career rides on Matt Damon 337 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,762 not doing any artsy, think-y movies, 338 00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:19,097 so I wouldn't count on Henry 339 00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:20,865 going to your school much longer. 340 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,636 What the hell? I made that light. 341 00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,505 Oh, geez. Another ticket. 342 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,874 Henry's mom drove a tank! 343 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,143 "Henry's mom!" "Henry's mom!" 344 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,781 - What are you doing, Gloria? - I want to see Henry's mom do this! 345 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,620 Yay! He's chasing us! 346 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:43,855 This feels like a bad idea. 347 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,723 Okay, too late, because I'm already committed! 348 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,158 Heart rate... high. 349 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,227 - Heart rate... high. - What is the plan, Gloria? 350 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,428 We're going to the mall! 351 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,863 You know why I tease you about your shopping? 352 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,831 Well, you do have a problem. 353 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,371 Okay, get down and don't move. 354 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:03,641 That's gonna be tough. I can smell Cinnabon. 355 00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:07,748 Hey! 356 00:14:07,817 --> 00:14:09,316 - Where have you been? - Oh, hey. 357 00:14:09,385 --> 00:14:11,352 I just stayed in the tank a little... a little extra. 358 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:12,586 How... What a great experience. 359 00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:15,156 - Just being alone with yourself... - Oh, I was never alone. 360 00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:18,692 I-I saw the face of every bully, I replayed every humiliation... 361 00:14:18,761 --> 00:14:20,027 Is this about "Bett" Davis again? 362 00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:22,163 Okay, we had just watched "Ruthless People". 363 00:14:22,231 --> 00:14:24,231 You're thinking Midler. You gotta let it go. 364 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:25,599 I know. I'm... I'm gonna try. 365 00:14:25,701 --> 00:14:27,435 But as scared as I was in there, 366 00:14:27,537 --> 00:14:28,969 I kept thinking about how 367 00:14:29,038 --> 00:14:30,838 you're the one person who makes me feel safe. 368 00:14:30,907 --> 00:14:33,274 And it made me want to be a better husband 369 00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:36,777 and to be more present, to be more understanding, to... 370 00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:38,078 Why... Why's your face red? 371 00:14:38,147 --> 00:14:39,513 - Oh, is it? - Yeah. 372 00:14:39,549 --> 00:14:41,482 Oh, just probably 'cause of the toxins, you know... 373 00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,617 And your arms, too, but only up to the... 374 00:14:43,686 --> 00:14:44,785 You have a farmer's tan. 375 00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:45,920 What have I told you about that expression? 376 00:14:46,022 --> 00:14:47,555 - I can say it... - Oh, my... 377 00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:50,791 T-T-That's why you're burned. You went Royal watching! 378 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:52,593 I was only gonna stay for a second, but George Brett... 379 00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:54,195 George... George Brett cornered me. 380 00:14:54,263 --> 00:14:56,330 And you know how I am with famous people. I can't say "No". 381 00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:58,466 Remember when I spent the entire day at the pool 382 00:14:58,568 --> 00:14:59,633 with Downtown Julie Brown? 383 00:14:59,702 --> 00:15:00,968 You shamed me into coming here 384 00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:03,871 only to leave me soaking in a bowl of trauma soup? 385 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:05,272 Okay, whoa, whoa. W-What happened about be... 386 00:15:05,374 --> 00:15:06,574 being more understanding? 387 00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:08,275 I can't believe you're turning this into my fault. 388 00:15:08,377 --> 00:15:09,510 This is so like you, Cam. 389 00:15:09,579 --> 00:15:10,778 Hello, again. 390 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,447 Please follow me to your guided silent meditation. 391 00:15:15,051 --> 00:15:16,383 Before we begin, 392 00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,752 the chef has asked me to reassure everyone 393 00:15:18,821 --> 00:15:20,955 that there's nothing wrong with the tempeh. 394 00:15:21,057 --> 00:15:23,958 It's supposed to taste that way. 395 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,259 Alright. 396 00:15:25,328 --> 00:15:27,495 Deep breath. In through the nose. 397 00:15:27,597 --> 00:15:29,430 Out through the mouth. 398 00:15:29,532 --> 00:15:32,900 Only in silence can we be truly present. 399 00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:34,468 But be prepared... 400 00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:36,637 errant feelings may arise. 401 00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:40,608 Anxiety, doubt, anger... 402 00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:43,611 Now, take a breath and let those feelings pass 403 00:15:43,679 --> 00:15:45,779 like clouds in the sky. 404 00:15:45,882 --> 00:15:48,482 The tension is melting away. 405 00:15:48,584 --> 00:15:49,850 That's it. 406 00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:54,889 Live in this moment of serenity and stillness. 407 00:15:54,957 --> 00:15:57,892 We're so accustomed to 408 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,029 going, going, going. But we need to just stop. 409 00:16:02,098 --> 00:16:06,233 Ask yourself the important questions. 410 00:16:06,302 --> 00:16:08,969 Are you running away from difficult feelings? 411 00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:13,607 Are you holding on to petty grievances? 412 00:16:15,211 --> 00:16:17,912 Are you being the best you? 413 00:16:19,782 --> 00:16:22,917 It's not too late to find your way back. 414 00:16:23,019 --> 00:16:24,051 To the light, 415 00:16:24,153 --> 00:16:26,687 to forgiveness, 416 00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:29,356 to love. 417 00:16:29,425 --> 00:16:30,591 It was amazing. 418 00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:31,792 There were no words, 419 00:16:31,894 --> 00:16:33,394 but I could feel Cam 420 00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:35,496 taking full responsibility for our fight. 421 00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:38,532 Total silence, but Mitchell's eyes said, 422 00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,000 "It's all on me". 423 00:16:40,069 --> 00:16:42,970 You know, "I was wrong. What would I do without you?" 424 00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:44,538 It was a beautiful weekend. 425 00:16:44,607 --> 00:16:46,140 Plus, George Brett signed my ball. 426 00:16:47,376 --> 00:16:49,610 Oh, "To Cam, all my best wishes, George Brett. 427 00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,279 P.S. We are not done with this"? 428 00:16:52,381 --> 00:16:54,081 Mitchell! 429 00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,050 Did you write on my ball?! 430 00:16:57,887 --> 00:16:59,420 Hey, where's Bill? 431 00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:01,322 I don't know. He's probably outside. 432 00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:03,757 When he gets agitated, he likes to climb stuff. 433 00:17:03,826 --> 00:17:06,160 That lunch was insane. Can you believe Mom and Dad? 434 00:17:06,228 --> 00:17:08,963 No, and, uh, I can't believe you either. 435 00:17:09,065 --> 00:17:10,564 You're so mean to Bill. 436 00:17:10,666 --> 00:17:11,832 What do you have against hot people? 437 00:17:11,901 --> 00:17:13,434 - What did we ever do to you? - You lost me. 438 00:17:13,502 --> 00:17:15,135 You're gonna blow it with that guy, 439 00:17:15,204 --> 00:17:16,570 and he's really nice. 440 00:17:16,672 --> 00:17:18,172 Why do you have to make him feel so dumb? 441 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,440 Okay, you don't know what you're talking about. 442 00:17:19,542 --> 00:17:20,641 Oh, yes, I do. 443 00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:23,077 Because it's the same way you've always treated me. 444 00:17:23,179 --> 00:17:24,979 It sucks. 445 00:17:25,047 --> 00:17:26,513 You know what Arvin never does? 446 00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:28,382 Makes me feel less smart than him. 447 00:17:28,451 --> 00:17:31,051 So, who cares if Bill's not a member of Menses? 448 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,987 Look, this is the first boyfriend you've ever had 449 00:17:33,055 --> 00:17:35,623 that is age appropriate, employed, 450 00:17:35,691 --> 00:17:37,358 and doesn't look like he's dying on a ship. 451 00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:38,859 I wouldn't say "boyfriend". 452 00:17:38,928 --> 00:17:40,894 He's more like a guilty pleasure. 453 00:17:40,963 --> 00:17:43,030 Guilty or not, that's the first time I've ever heard you 454 00:17:43,132 --> 00:17:44,765 describe a guy as a "pleasure". 455 00:17:52,274 --> 00:17:54,108 Bill, I'm sorry! 456 00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:55,376 All good, babe. 457 00:17:55,444 --> 00:17:58,078 You're the one fire I can't put out. 458 00:17:58,147 --> 00:18:00,347 Well, also grease is pretty tricky. 459 00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:04,685 Arvin? 460 00:18:04,787 --> 00:18:06,453 Oh. 461 00:18:06,522 --> 00:18:08,155 Arvin, hi. Are you okay? 462 00:18:08,224 --> 00:18:09,423 Yeah. Oh, yes. Yes. 463 00:18:09,492 --> 00:18:10,624 Um... yes. 464 00:18:10,726 --> 00:18:13,327 I-I-I'm just a-a little embarrassed. 465 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,029 We're the ones who should be embarrassed. 466 00:18:15,131 --> 00:18:17,665 We just made lunch so tense and weird. 467 00:18:17,733 --> 00:18:18,932 - Yeah. - Well, I'm... 468 00:18:19,001 --> 00:18:22,236 I'm not terribly adept at handling failure. 469 00:18:22,304 --> 00:18:25,339 My parents are both overachieving academics... 470 00:18:25,441 --> 00:18:28,509 a doctor of philosophy and a doctor of mathematics. 471 00:18:28,611 --> 00:18:30,678 - Wow! - And Father is a doctor of medicine 472 00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:33,080 and doctor of economics. 473 00:18:33,149 --> 00:18:35,549 I-I'm sorry. I just need to shake it off. 474 00:18:35,651 --> 00:18:37,151 You know, stiff-upper-lip it. 475 00:18:37,253 --> 00:18:38,419 Yeah, it's fine. 476 00:18:38,487 --> 00:18:40,154 Can we just pretend it never happened? 477 00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:41,255 No. 478 00:18:41,323 --> 00:18:43,791 No, failure sucks. 479 00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,159 It's okay to feel bad. 480 00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,594 Yeah, wallow a little. Eat some ice cream. 481 00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:50,464 Day drink, that's how you come out the other side. 482 00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:53,534 You're... You're like the inverse of my parents. 483 00:18:53,636 --> 00:18:54,968 Except the drinking. 484 00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:56,770 They're pickled most of the day. 485 00:18:56,872 --> 00:18:59,273 Well, you're not in their house. 486 00:18:59,375 --> 00:19:02,009 This is House Dunphy... We fail here. 487 00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:03,744 Right. I mean, today our whole goal 488 00:19:03,813 --> 00:19:05,579 was to impress you. We made fools of ourselves. 489 00:19:05,648 --> 00:19:07,915 I have a magic shop that's bleeding money... thousands. 490 00:19:07,943 --> 00:19:08,949 - What? - It's fine. 491 00:19:09,018 --> 00:19:10,117 Hey, what's all this, then? 492 00:19:10,186 --> 00:19:13,220 Oh, whoa. Did I get that from you? Am I becoming Madonna? 493 00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:15,622 Your parents were actually being quite lovely. 494 00:19:15,725 --> 00:19:18,859 Thank you for taking the time. 495 00:19:18,928 --> 00:19:21,729 Oh, and my parents' walls may be adorned 496 00:19:21,797 --> 00:19:24,064 with nothing but degrees and awards, 497 00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:28,535 but they don't have one tenth of your emotional intelligence. 498 00:19:28,637 --> 00:19:30,637 - Aww! - Thank you. 499 00:19:30,706 --> 00:19:33,440 - But would you say it's an absolutel... - If you had to pick a winner... 500 00:19:33,542 --> 00:19:35,342 - Okay, stop it. - Just... 501 00:19:37,646 --> 00:19:39,279 That was so fun. 502 00:19:39,381 --> 00:19:40,714 My heart is racing. 503 00:19:40,783 --> 00:19:43,317 You? My watch dialed my cardiologist. 504 00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:45,385 I've never run from the cops before. 505 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,754 Me either. 506 00:19:46,822 --> 00:19:49,423 Lights! 507 00:19:49,492 --> 00:19:52,659 I can't wait to tell everyone how cool you guys are! 508 00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:54,328 We're not cool, Joe. 509 00:19:54,430 --> 00:19:56,697 That's not what people do when a policeman pulls them over. 510 00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:58,699 In fact, there's nothing cool about us. 511 00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:00,334 Well, I don't think we should be lumped into... 512 00:20:00,436 --> 00:20:02,369 Lights! 513 00:20:02,471 --> 00:20:04,571 Joe, there are more important things than being cool. 514 00:20:04,673 --> 00:20:06,440 Uh, like what? 515 00:20:06,542 --> 00:20:08,308 Look, the point is, Joe, we love you too much 516 00:20:08,410 --> 00:20:11,145 to let you think dumb moves like this are okay. 517 00:20:11,247 --> 00:20:14,548 So, what do we do now? 518 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:16,517 We're gonna do the right thing. 519 00:20:21,824 --> 00:20:23,624 Officer! 520 00:20:23,726 --> 00:20:24,758 Uh... 521 00:20:29,231 --> 00:20:30,631 Where's Cinnabon? 522 00:20:32,094 --> 00:20:35,231 Sure enough, they call me out for using too much pine tar. 523 00:20:35,266 --> 00:20:38,738 I run out there and just go berserk on these umpires. 524 00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:40,044 - But everybody remembers... - Ugh! 525 00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:41,583 - Watch out. That's a base. - Yeah. 526 00:20:41,618 --> 00:20:42,983 - That's third base. - Third base. 527 00:20:43,018 --> 00:20:44,237 That's where I used to play. You remember that? 528 00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:45,641 Yeah. Should we do... 529 00:20:45,935 --> 00:20:47,403 So, when you would stand here, 530 00:20:47,438 --> 00:20:49,901 you would just kind of basically be in an athletic... 531 00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:50,977 I played college football... 532 00:20:51,012 --> 00:20:52,526 You would get right here like this and say, 533 00:20:52,561 --> 00:20:53,681 "Please don't hit it to me". 534 00:20:54,908 --> 00:20:55,931 That's how I feel! 535 00:20:55,966 --> 00:20:57,855 I'm gonna get you back! 536 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,880 Synced and corrected by BLuk www.addic7ed.com