1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:03,970
Don't let any of those
things get away, Morty.

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:04,970
It their DNA gets
into Earth's food chain,

3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,840
our entire species
could be sterilized.

4
00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:08,300
Then why aren't we
killing them?

5
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,810
Right, next time I need
a species sterilized,

6
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,370
who's gonna do it for me,
you?

7
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,980
Whoa! Rick!

8
00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:14,480
I-Is that
the Vindibeacon?

9
00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,850
We're being called to assemble
by the Vindicators!

10
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,820
I refuse to answer a literal
call to adventure, Morty.

11
00:00:18,850 --> 00:00:20,550
Let it go to voice mail.
Rick,

12
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,220
the Vindicators only call when
the universe itself is at stake.

13
00:00:23,250 --> 00:00:24,860
They're the first line
of defense against evil.

14
00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:26,490
They're the guardians
of the unguarded!

15
00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:28,330
They're the writers of their own
press releases, Morty.

16
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,860
They're a bunch of drama queens
that spend an hour talking

17
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:32,860
and 20 minutes jumping around
while shit blows up.

18
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,530
They're a phase.

19
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,070
We did one, it was the big event
of that summer, let it die.

20
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:39,240
I, Morty Smith,
invoke my right

21
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:41,840
to choose one in every 10
Rick and Morty adventures.

22
00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:43,870
- God fucking damn it!
- Read 'em and weep.

23
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,210
Fine. But don't say
I didn't warn you.

24
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,680
Yes! Vindicator Command Ship...
Beacon received.

25
00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:52,850
We're doing
Vindicators Twoooooo!

26
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,350
Whoops.

27
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:57,220
Uh, Morty, you might want
to freeze some sperm.

28
00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:00,620
From addic7ed.com

29
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,250
Vindicators.

30
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:31,590
Worldender is back,

31
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,090
and this time he's out
to end more than worlds.

32
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,730
We have reason to believe
his stronghold is located on...

33
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:37,760
My balls.
Rick!

34
00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,460
...the Terraneous system.

35
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:43,230
Once in range, Million Ants
will scan for pheromone activity

36
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,400
which should lead us
to the location of the base.

37
00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:47,470
Oh, that's Million Ants.

38
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,570
I can't see the ants
from over here,

39
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,750
I just assumed that was, uh,
turd man,

40
00:01:50,770 --> 00:01:52,640
wiggly turd man.

41
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,240
Rick, stop! Rick, you have
something to add to the briefing?

42
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,750
Uh, yeah,
just a few more design notes...

43
00:01:57,780 --> 00:02:00,480
Um, this guy,
the, uh... the, uh...

44
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,950
I am Crocubot.

45
00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:04,090
Right, Crocubot.

46
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,960
So, you're half cold,
unfeeling reptile, half...

47
00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:08,490
also cold...

48
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,590
equally unfeeling machine.
Yes.

49
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,130
Wow. So, your origin
is what?

50
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,600
Y-You fell
into a vat of redundancy?

51
00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:16,500
Got damn!

52
00:02:16,530 --> 00:02:18,270
Noob Noob,
we're having a briefing.

53
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:19,770
If I can continue, Rick.

54
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,100
I anticipate sophisticated
security measures.

55
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,140
I trust
you can be of service there.

56
00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,340
Well, let me check my list
of powers and weaknesses.

57
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:28,810
Ability to do anything...
But only whenever I want...

58
00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,650
Yeah, that sounds like
a job for me.

59
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,280
I wish he had the ability
to check his attitude.

60
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,950
Alan Rails,
ladies and gentlemen.

61
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,460
After his parents tragic death
in a railroad accident,

62
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,650
he gained the power
to summon ghost trains.

63
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:40,620
It's not all bad though,

64
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,000
they were spared having to see
their grown son wear a WHISTLE.

65
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,960
Got damn!

66
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:46,500
Thanks, Noob Noob.
This guy gets it.

67
00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:52,340
Vance Maximus,
Renegade Star Soldier...

68
00:02:53,670 --> 00:02:55,000
Sorry I'm late.
It was happy hour.

69
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,310
Happy hour.

70
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:59,640
Uh, I was also late
because of my drinking

71
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,180
and mentioned it
to zero applause.

72
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:03,650
Rick Sanchez.
Tinkerer of Terror.

73
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:04,710
Man, that's hard to say.

74
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,820
And... Morty, right?

75
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:08,650
Whoa, yeah!
I never forget a kid.

76
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,190
What do you say, Vindicators,
let's make this three for three?

77
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:12,150
- Haha!
- Yes!

78
00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:13,990
Did he say
"three for three"?

79
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,820
Did he say he never
forgets a kid?

80
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,530
You mean two for two,
right, Vance?

81
00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:23,200
Actually, we assembled
a second time last summer

82
00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:25,030
to fight Doomnomitron.

83
00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:27,840
So this is...
Vindicators Three?

84
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:32,680
And you guys did
Vindicators Two... without us?

85
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:35,410
I sense... insecurity.

86
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,580
Are you sure there's not
just a picnic nearby?

87
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,520
I guess he found his crowd.

88
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,620
Pretty toothless stuff,
guys.

89
00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:47,860
I hope you're happy with
the adventure so far, Morty.

90
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,860
These guys are even lamer
than last time.

91
00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,730
We weren't here last time,
remember?

92
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,860
They did a whole Vindicators
without us.

93
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,530
A bunch of them got killed,
too.

94
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,900
They lost Lady Katana,
Calypso, Diablo Verde...

95
00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:01,600
Yikes. Yeah, things did feel
less diverse in there.

96
00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,940
This article says the reason
we weren't involved was...

97
00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:06,110
"personality conflicts."

98
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:08,240
Don't worry, Morty,
they love you.

99
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,110
Superheroes need
a wide-eyed unremarkable

100
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:11,550
to tag along and react
to everything

101
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,080
like it's mind blowing.

102
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,450
I... think the personality
conflict might have been...

103
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,890
you?

104
00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:20,420
Jesus...

105
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,960
How awesome is that?

106
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:23,440
I mean, they wanted
to not need me so bad

107
00:04:23,460 --> 00:04:25,260
they murdered three
innocent heroes of color

108
00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:27,060
and they still
had to bring me back?

109
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,800
Rick, since
it's my adventure and all,

110
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:30,400
could you do me a favor?

111
00:04:30,430 --> 00:04:33,140
Uh, the adventure
is the favor, Morty.

112
00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:35,270
Me sleeping on these linens
is the favor.

113
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:38,110
I mean, w-w-what... what are we
vindicating? Comfort?

114
00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:39,740
Rick,
this really bums me out.

115
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,410
It-It's embarrassing to find out
these guys don't like us.

116
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,150
Why? Morty
I defeat gagoos

117
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:46,250
more powerful than these guys
every week.

118
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:47,750
Yeah, but not heroes.

119
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,250
Oh, please, they just call
themselves heroes so they can...

120
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,960
I'm calling them that, Rick!
They're my heroes. Mine!

121
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,930
Huh, no accounting
for taste.

122
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,660
I'm gonna go get a drink.

123
00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:10,170
Good morning, Vindicators.

124
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,340
Ship has arrived
at Terraneous system.

125
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:15,940
All Vindicators report
to the... briefing room.

126
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,310
The... The room
from the, uh... the...

127
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:19,990
Uh, it's the d...
it's a different room than...

128
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,620
than conference room.

129
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,350
I'm sorry, it's my first day
as a PA System.

130
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:26,990
First-day jitters.

131
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,790
Oh, God.

132
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,460
Good morning. Looks like your
grandpa had a long night.

133
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,160
Crocubot, why don't you
escort Mr. Sanchez

134
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,970
to a more comfortable spot
so that someone can...

135
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,470
...clean up his diarrhea.

136
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:44,470
Oooh, I'm nervous
about my first mission!

137
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,980
Actually, Noob Noob,
you have a new mission.

138
00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:50,680
Got... damn. Vindicators,
prepare for arrival.

139
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:53,380
Morty, the Vindicators and I
had a chat this morning,

140
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,650
and I'm afraid we need
to make a little change.

141
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,850
I-I totally get it.
I-I'm so sorry.

142
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:00,160
You should be.

143
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:01,020
Running around
in a yellow T-shirt

144
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,220
like you're not one of us.

145
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:05,860
Disgraceful.
I-I-I'm not a superhero.

146
00:06:05,890 --> 00:06:07,060
Cop a squat, chief.

147
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,000
Everyone in the universe
is a hero.

148
00:06:09,030 --> 00:06:11,010
All you have to do is know the
difference between good and bad,

149
00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,400
and root for good.

150
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,870
Rick says good and bad
are artificial constructs.

151
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,210
Yeah, well,
I get the feeling...

152
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,540
He kind of needs that
to be the case.

153
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,880
Not coming, Noob Noob?

154
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:25,580
Ohh! No, uh,
I got stuff to do here.

155
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,390
Security drones, inbound.

156
00:06:34,420 --> 00:06:37,230
Star Mother,
grant me your wrath.

157
00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:42,430
All aboard!

158
00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:57,080
Gun turret.
Are you all right?

159
00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,050
Yes. I only lost 400 ants.

160
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,880
My queen is laying more.

161
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,720
I am back to...
one Million Ants.

162
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,250
Someone wake up Sanchez.

163
00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:09,060
Ugh! Oh, Christ.

164
00:07:09,090 --> 00:07:10,560
Rick. You're up.
Barely.

165
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:12,290
We're taking fire
from an automated turret.

166
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:14,100
Can you bring it offline?
Uh-huh.

167
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,810
Uh, my God, that's better. Rick!

168
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,640
Hey, I can't help
if I can't see.

169
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,830
I could've just used
a ghost train.

170
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:51,470
Really? You don't say.
You would've used a ghost train?

171
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,940
Hey, everybody,
the ghost train guy

172
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,940
would have used
a ghost train.

173
00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:57,440
- Man, Fuck you.
- Is there coffee?

174
00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:59,110
Hey, Morty,
can you be a pal,

175
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:00,490
Grandpa left his coffee maker
on the ship,

176
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:01,790
you know,
the French press thing...

177
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:02,810
Get it yourself.

178
00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,650
Little extra snippy
this morning, aren't you?

179
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,450
Just focus on the mission,
all right?

180
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,620
Oh-oh-oh, I'm sorry,
oh, you're right.

181
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:16,630
Ohh, real serious.
Gotta take it real serious, huh?

182
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:20,300
Son of a Steam Engine.
They're all dead.

183
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:23,300
Why would Worldender do this
to his own men...

184
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,470
and several women? Well,
he is the Worldender.

185
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,670
The guy ends worlds.
Kind of his thing.

186
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:31,010
Ohh, real scared.
Real fucking on alert,

187
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,310
high alert over here.

188
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,480
Watch out!

189
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,480
What the fuck?!

190
00:08:36,510 --> 00:08:38,810
It's Worldender!
What happened to him?

191
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,480
I sense his life force
is fading.

192
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,320
Million Ants,
ladies and gentlemen.

193
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,660
The ant colony with the power
of two human eyes.

194
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:50,530
All right. Short mission.
Good mission.

195
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:52,730
Remember when Alan
wanted to use a ghost train?

196
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,500
See you guys in Vindicators Four.
Morty? Rick, whoever did this

197
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:57,170
is an even bigger threat
than Worldender.

198
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,500
We can't leave now.

199
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:01,200
He's right.
This is far from over.

200
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,400
Well, have fun with that,

201
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,350
but Morty and I have to meet
a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man,

202
00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:06,510
Two Assholes, and a
Full Alligator in like an hour.

203
00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,690
Shit.

204
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,420
I sense the presence

205
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,130
of a greater evil.

206
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,100
Check, check. One, two.

207
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:30,370
Okay. Is it recording?
Good.

208
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,870
Hello, Vindicators.

209
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:34,540
Welcome to your reckoning,
baby!

210
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,940
Welp, it's official.

211
00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:39,070
I had too much to drink
last night.

212
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,880
If you guys
are watching this,

213
00:09:42,910 --> 00:09:44,610
you're, you know,
the Vindicators.

214
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,620
So, now that we know... Rick?
What's going on, buddy?

215
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:50,620
Obviously, I came here
last night during a blackout.

216
00:09:50,650 --> 00:09:52,450
"Obviously?"

217
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,390
You came here and defeated
our arch nemesis...

218
00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,790
while so drunk
you don't remember doing it?

219
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,790
That's something "obvious"
to you?

220
00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,060
Look, I'm a lit... little
more complex than you guys,

221
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,800
and, no offense,
but I've always suspected

222
00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,300
that a lot of what you do
in a year

223
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:05,680
could be knocked out
in a couple of hours.

224
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,400
...So I thought, why not
just do your job for you,

225
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,570
so we can have
a little fun game.

226
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:14,810
Rick, is...
Is this a "Saw" thing?

227
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,080
Are you seriously
Sawing the Vindicators?

228
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:19,250
Morty, I'm a drunk,
not a hack.

229
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,650
If you break the rules,
lose the game or try to leave,

230
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:22,990
you will die.

231
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:25,020
Like in "Sawwww."

232
00:10:25,050 --> 00:10:26,490
Well,
I-I-I think we've seen enough,

233
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,160
I'll just figure out
how to unplug this.

234
00:10:28,190 --> 00:10:29,500
Okay, here we go.
Room number one.

235
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,430
The Vindicators are known
throughout the galaxy,

236
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,200
but do they know yourselves,
do you know yourselves?

237
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:36,830
Match your... your shit,
your... your gimmicks,

238
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:40,340
with your faces, and y-you get
it, it's a matching thing.

239
00:10:40,370 --> 00:10:44,040
And do it in three minutes
or you'll all die.

240
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,880
Screw this.
I'm not playing his game.

241
00:10:46,910 --> 00:10:48,120
I'm gonna find us
a way out of here.

242
00:10:48,140 --> 00:10:49,510
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold on, Vance.

243
00:10:49,540 --> 00:10:51,020
He said you'd die
if you tried to leave.

244
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:52,280
That means
there's booby traps.

245
00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,950
Why are you acting
like that's not you?

246
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:56,460
What part of "blackout"
don't you understand?

247
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:57,850
I thought you drank.

248
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:00,190
Like cool drinking!
Like sexy drinking,

249
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:02,690
not this psycho,
trailer-park shit!

250
00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,530
Vance, stay calm...

251
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,470
Oh, so you're the leader now,
because we gave you a jacket?

252
00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:09,030
You're the learning-disabled kid
we do photo ops with.

253
00:11:09,060 --> 00:11:10,470
Okay, ouch, but...
Okay, this...

254
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,700
This is triggering me.
I need space.

255
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:17,540
I-I need space from this!

256
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:42,000
Give me one reason

257
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,730
why I shouldn't crush
your windpipe.

258
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:47,070
Because my epidermis is laced
with a nanofiber defense mesh...

259
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,400
And because, like I said,
I don't remember last night.

260
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,940
I told you not to invite this
mummified motherfucker back.

261
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:53,350
Alan, I'm not proud
of what's happening here,

262
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,110
but if you
keep coming at me,

263
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:56,590
there's gonna be another
passenger on that ghost train.

264
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:59,450
Guys! I figured it out.

265
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,420
- Congrats!
- You did it it!

266
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:05,750
It was a bit. All of the
descriptors apply to all of you.

267
00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:07,360
Drunk Rick's point

268
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:08,770
is that none of you
are very special or different.

269
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:10,590
That's always his point.

270
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,930
Let's just get through this
as quickly as possible.

271
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,700
Then we'll deal
with the two of you.

272
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,470
The two of us?
I hope you're proud of yourself.

273
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,940
Uh, I kind of am. I saved
the God damn universe.

274
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:21,370
That's not the issue,
Rick!

275
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,770
Ahh, it would've been
if I hadn't!

276
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:25,310
The Vindicators say their job

277
00:12:25,340 --> 00:12:27,310
is to fight evil
wherever it hides,

278
00:12:27,340 --> 00:12:30,280
but they don't...
Pick the location you'll...

279
00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,820
You'll never hear them
even mention,

280
00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:35,950
because to fight darkness
is to fight yourself.

281
00:12:35,980 --> 00:12:37,950
Oh! I know this.
Dorian 5!

282
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,150
Crocubot, don't!

283
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:41,620
There's no other
possible answer.

284
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:45,130
My mechanical and reptilian
logic are certain of it.

285
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,490
Oh!

286
00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,660
Huh! I'm seeing more croc
than bot here.

287
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:50,400
God damn it!

288
00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:52,300
Uh, what happened on Dorian 5?
Nothing!

289
00:12:52,330 --> 00:12:55,740
Nothing? We exterminated
a planet.

290
00:12:55,770 --> 00:12:57,470
W-Wait. Huh?

291
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,180
Doomnomitron was hiding there!
He's a shapeshifter.

292
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:03,250
Destroying Dorian 5
was the only way to kill him.

293
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,660
Come on, guys,
we're all thinking it.

294
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:05,980
Don't...

295
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:06,980
Don't make me say it.

296
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,480
Oh, okay. This again.

297
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,650
You know,
I could have made you a device

298
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,490
to detect Doomnomitron from
orbit like that.

299
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:16,360
I'm not the one that
didn't want you back. Alan was.

300
00:13:16,390 --> 00:13:19,830
If you lay those deaths
at my doorstep one more time...

301
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:22,030
Do not threaten her.

302
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,200
Congrats, you did it.

303
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:26,500
What the hell
is "Israel"?

304
00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:28,210
It-It's just something
Rick starts talking about

305
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,440
when he's blackout drunk.

306
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,040
W-What?
In w... In w-w-what?

307
00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:33,010
Like,
w-w-what's my point?

308
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,840
In a way
that has no point,

309
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:35,950
you just babble about defense
budgets and the United Nations

310
00:13:35,980 --> 00:13:37,510
and then you pass out.

311
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,120
So, to be clear,
I sometimes reference

312
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,850
the geopolitical complexities
of the topic...

313
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,220
Which is not the same as going
to an anti-Semitic place.

314
00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,890
I have not stake
in this...

315
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,800
I don't either, I'm...
I'm just saying, if anything,

316
00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:51,070
the drunk version of me is
probably so supportive of Israel

317
00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:52,530
he wants what's best for it
and...

318
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,800
Hey, man, I'm not touching this.
You do you.

319
00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:02,040
Aloha... means hello
and goodbye in Hawaii.

320
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:05,470
But, uh, aloha means...

321
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:07,240
Has nothing to do
with this room.

322
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,480
I'm so fucking drunk.

323
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:11,310
Ugh, okay.
Here's the deal.

324
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,080
I-I want to rest my eyes
for a little bit,

325
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,550
I'm...
I'm not going to sleep,

326
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,320
I just... just need
to rest my eyes,

327
00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:17,890
so let's make this one
simple...

328
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,890
Just... try to hit
some three pointers.

329
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,590
Let's say... you have to
hit... five three pointers

330
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,890
in... five minutes... or...
I don't know,

331
00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:26,910
the whole place... the
whole planet will get blown up

332
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,660
with a n-neutrino bomb.

333
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,730
And try to make it a-a lesson
about... yourselves,

334
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,730
like... like
how selfish you are...

335
00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:33,940
Are or something.

336
00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:35,600
And also Hawaii.

337
00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,510
You guys hit the baskets,

338
00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:40,080
I'll disarm the
drunkenly-improvised neutrino bomb.

339
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:42,080
There's a 40 percent chance
it's a dud,

340
00:14:42,110 --> 00:14:43,750
but y-you should still
stay back.

341
00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:44,860
Morty, how many of these...

342
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:46,510
Too many, Rick! Too many!

343
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:49,950
Man, I am really getting
high-roaded today.

344
00:14:52,390 --> 00:14:54,260
That's a three pointer.

345
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:55,920
Nice shot.
Thank you.

346
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,930
You two
make quite a team.

347
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,760
We all do.

348
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:01,100
Yeah, I guess...

349
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:02,600
That's a three pointer.

350
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:06,700
But you guys have always had
a... an unspoken bond.

351
00:15:06,730 --> 00:15:09,600
I mean, really unspoken.

352
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:13,310
Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband
unspoken.

353
00:15:15,140 --> 00:15:17,780
We aren't married anymore,
Alan.

354
00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:19,610
Sure, but were we married

355
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:23,390
when you two were "stranded"
on Delphi Six for three days?

356
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:28,120
Because I sensed something
was weird when you came back...

357
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,390
But what do I know
about sensitivity?

358
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,630
I'm just
a phantom train conductor.

359
00:15:32,660 --> 00:15:35,560
You're the pile of ordinary bugs
that fucked my wife!

360
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,400
That's a three pointer.

361
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,640
Where the fuck
is the lead wire?

362
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,300
You always put it
in the weirdest place.

363
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,570
Um, uh,
over here maybe?

364
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,410
Jesus Christ,
what a shitty neutrino bomb.

365
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,150
It's a miracle I ever
actually destroy anything.

366
00:15:46,170 --> 00:15:47,810
Oh, I don't know,

367
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,190
you managed to destroy
just about everything today.

368
00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:50,650
The villains, the heroes,

369
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,250
the lines between them,
my childhood...

370
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:53,920
Thank yeewwwwww.
I appreciate it, Morty,

371
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:55,420
I know you were sucking
the Kool-Aid

372
00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:56,490
out of
the Vindicators' dicks

373
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,350
so the fact that I was right
about them

374
00:15:58,390 --> 00:15:59,520
must be pretty hard
to admit.

375
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:01,320
Yeah, it is.
You know why, Rick?

376
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,660
Because
when you're an asshole,

377
00:16:02,690 --> 00:16:04,160
it doesn't matter
how right you are,

378
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:05,830
nobody wants to give you
the satisfaction.

379
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:08,160
I know. Everyone wants people
they like to be right.

380
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,170
That's why popular people
are fucking dumb.

381
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,610
And why your pretentious,
poorly-written,

382
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:13,200
high-budget friends
back there

383
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,840
can eat a double-decker
shit sandwich.

384
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:16,270
Disarmed.

385
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,670
Holy shit.
You're jealous.

386
00:16:18,710 --> 00:16:20,610
Yes! Is that
what you want to hear?!

387
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,780
Did it feel good?

388
00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,350
Did you like his six million
wriggling legs

389
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:26,510
more than
my tragedy-stricken,

390
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:29,350
half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?!
Guys, stop!

391
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:31,690
You're just proving
my asshole grandpa right!

392
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,060
You wish this was about sex!
We loved each other!

393
00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:37,290
We had a child together!
What?!

394
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:41,030
I conceived a child with Million
Ants and it died inside me

395
00:16:41,060 --> 00:16:45,400
because it was half a million
ants and half collapsing star!

396
00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:49,370
And yes.
He was better than you.

397
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,470
Yeah?

398
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,210
One... million...
times... better.

399
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,040
All aboard, motherfucker.

400
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,080
Stop!

401
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,080
Oof!
Didn't see that coming.

402
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,650
Is that sarcasm?

403
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,720
I don't want you slipping away
when this is over.

404
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,490
All of these deaths
are on your hands.

405
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,060
Okay, come on,
maybe a couple of them,

406
00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:10,170
but definitely
not the Train Guy.

407
00:17:10,190 --> 00:17:11,430
Oof!
All of them.

408
00:17:11,460 --> 00:17:12,560
Oookay.

409
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:15,060
Congrats. You did it.

410
00:17:15,100 --> 00:17:18,900
All right, by now,
I've been pretty clear

411
00:17:18,930 --> 00:17:21,070
that I think the Vindicators
are full of shit.

412
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,910
But... you do have one thing
that I'll never have.

413
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:25,910
And that thing is the only part
of the Vindicators

414
00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,680
with any value to me.

415
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:30,010
If you know what it is,
place it on the platform.

416
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,510
Guess wrong
and pla-planet will explode.

417
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,020
And probably the solar system,

418
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,930
'cause I kind of fucking
eyeballed the neutrino bombs

419
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:37,690
on this one.

420
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,920
So what's the trick? Morty,
you're the Drunk Rick expert.

421
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,090
I think... no matter
what we put on there, we die.

422
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:47,860
He said it's the part
of the Vindicators he values.

423
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:48,930
That means nothing.

424
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,370
He wants
our last moment alive

425
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,100
to be spent knowing
how few fucks he gave.

426
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,470
Jesus! Okay,
open to second opinions.

427
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,140
It could...
It could be Morty.

428
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:57,540
What?
Hey, I don't know.

429
00:17:57,570 --> 00:17:58,870
I mean, look,
when I get drunk,

430
00:17:58,910 --> 00:18:01,380
I get stupid and emotional
and there's no logic to it.

431
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:03,710
It's, like,
it's possible I got so drunk

432
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,280
I felt like I was losing Morty
to the Vindicators,

433
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,480
and maybe this is
my way of saying, "Okay",

434
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,950
you can have him but only if
you know how important he is,

435
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,120
"otherwise I'll kill you."

436
00:18:12,150 --> 00:18:14,790
That is a...
really specific guess.

437
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:17,390
Look, I-I... there's
nothing in the room but us.

438
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,290
I'm just using logic
to connect some dots,

439
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:20,660
it's the best guess
I've got.

440
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,560
But you're betting our lives
on it.

441
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,970
I'll cover that bet.
I get it.

442
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,970
Well, Morty, I think
you're doing that smirky face

443
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,970
because you're misinterpreting
the moment.

444
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,170
I am not being coy
about some hidden love for you.

445
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,810
I want to be really clear that
if anyone has a better guess,

446
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,080
like, if I gave you
an amulet last night, or...

447
00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:39,080
Phew.

448
00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:41,850
Oh, shit.

449
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,920
Sorry. I'm... not good
at goodbyes,

450
00:18:46,950 --> 00:18:49,590
and... I'm drunk,
so, you know, I just...

451
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,930
It looks like I'm never
going to see you again.

452
00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:54,000
I can't really roll
with the hero types.

453
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:56,430
And I don't... they...
They don't want me around.

454
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:59,830
But I want you to know, even if
I didn't show it at the time,

455
00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:02,200
I really appreciated
you sticking by me.

456
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:06,370
God damn it, why am I crying?
It makes no sense.

457
00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:07,940
Ugh, you're...
You're probably confused

458
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,780
because we barely
knew each other,

459
00:19:09,810 --> 00:19:11,350
but you really
stuck your neck out

460
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,520
when you gave me props
for my awesome jokes

461
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,220
in the briefing room.

462
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:17,020
Everybody else had their head
so far up their ass.

463
00:19:17,050 --> 00:19:18,620
Even my own grandson is like,

464
00:19:18,650 --> 00:19:20,360
"Oh, the Vindicators,
they're so cool."

465
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:23,790
I mean, he's a moron,
that's their demographic.

466
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,360
But you're different,
Noob Noob.

467
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,960
Mother fucker.

468
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:29,360
You're fucking cool.
And you're smart.

469
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,070
And I bet
we coulda hung out and shit.

470
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,400
And I hope you get to be
a full-fledged Vindicator

471
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,070
and... and do...
Do me a favor,

472
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:38,040
don't... don't let them know
I-I got emotional.

473
00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:40,140
But you can tell them
one thing.

474
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:42,040
Tell them I said...

475
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,780
Oh fuck Okay. I just
shit myself. Okay, later.

476
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,190
W... Dude, Morty, what
happened... Shut up.

477
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,230
I sense this means
we are not dying.

478
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:58,560
Not all of us.

479
00:19:58,590 --> 00:19:59,760
Sweetheart.

480
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:01,600
Just let Titty Bean do this,
Snuzzles.

481
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,060
It's for the greater good.

482
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:04,170
Greater good?
Titty Bean?

483
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,770
It's like you said, Morty.

484
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,900
There's no right or wrong...
Never said that.

485
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,610
It's the galaxy's faith
in the Vindicators

486
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,770
that keeps
the galaxy secure.

487
00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:14,510
Yeah,
I feel safer already.

488
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:16,680
No doubt, who do we make
the check out to?

489
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,680
I will say we are getting
some good licks in

490
00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,250
while choking to death...
Right?

491
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:21,950
Titty Bean.
Listen to me.

492
00:20:21,980 --> 00:20:22,920
When you came to me,

493
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:25,520
I was merely
a sentient colony of ants.

494
00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:28,590
It was your beliefs,
your pursuit of justice...

495
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:30,260
that taught me
to be a man.

496
00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:33,530
When did it get
so complicated?

497
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,200
Who knows.
But we can make it simple again.

498
00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:37,870
You were always
the romantic.

499
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,270
Which is why you can't leave,
either.

500
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:46,210
I'm sorry, my love.

501
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,710
Damn! She double-crossed
Snuzzles!

502
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:51,610
Silence!
I'm going to enjoy this...

503
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,450
Let's give
a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez

504
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,950
for killing Worldender, putting
this awesome party together,

505
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:00,320
and for booking one of
the hottest talents out there...

506
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,890
- Logic!
- Awe, yeah.

507
00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,490
Look at that.
It's going down.

508
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:07,130
Geez, I must have planned
a whole party.

509
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,970
- It's Logic, y'all.
- Invited a bunch of people.

510
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,310
- Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad.
- Shout out to my boy, Rick.

511
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:12,130
Are you ready?

512
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:14,010
? There's a choo-choo train man,
he's rolling down tragedy ?

513
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,970
? Everybody knowing Supernova
fights gravity ?

514
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,810
Rick, Supernova's getting away.
Eh, who cares?

515
00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,240
But... she was trying
to kill us.

516
00:21:20,270 --> 00:21:22,080
Morty, 20 people
try to kill me every week.

517
00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:23,520
I end up getting high
with half of them.

518
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,510
I mean, check it out,
Gearhead's here.

519
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:26,980
? There's this dude
Million Ants ?

520
00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,160
Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot
through me.

521
00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:30,320
Morty, you're wearing
a Vindicator jacket.

522
00:21:30,350 --> 00:21:31,920
Are you a little superhero
now?

523
00:21:31,950 --> 00:21:33,860
Everyone in the universe
is a hero, Mom.

524
00:21:33,890 --> 00:21:35,520
Which is why
we don't need jackets.

525
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:37,340
And I'm pretty sure
we don't need Vindicators.

526
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:38,990
Don't mind
if I do.

527
00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:41,530
Hey, everybody!
Look who's a Vindicator!

528
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,330
Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten
shitfaced. Shut up, Summer.

529
00:21:45,370 --> 00:21:47,870
? Can't forget about the one who
never seems to get a chance ?

530
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,550
Noob Noob! ? All the bitches
come around for ?

531
00:21:49,570 --> 00:21:52,170
Noob Noob! ? His dick gets
more visits than ?

532
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:54,180
? YouTube - Who the fuck
is Noob Noob?

533
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:56,780
Noob Noob! ? Say, everybody,
everybody is ?

534
00:21:56,810 --> 00:21:58,950
Yo, it's Logic once again,
y'all.

535
00:21:58,980 --> 00:22:00,350
Don't forget the name.

536
00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:01,780
Make sure you get home safe.

537
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,060
And, man, we gotta all
give it up for Rick,

538
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,020
'cause, I mean,
what kind of motherfucker

539
00:22:05,050 --> 00:22:07,360
just sets up
a whole festival like this

540
00:22:07,390 --> 00:22:09,390
when he's completely loaded,
man?

541
00:22:09,420 --> 00:22:13,030
And all that stuff I said about
Vance, that's not real.

542
00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:16,060
Vance... fuck that guy,
that guy sucks dick.

543
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:18,730
Whoo!

544
00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:20,300
Yeah!

545
00:22:20,330 --> 00:22:22,740
Yo...

546
00:22:22,770 --> 00:22:25,970
D-Did I get paid yet?
Whoo!

547
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,810
I can't believe we're getting
Gear Cream with a Vindicator.

548
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:34,920
So, you girls in Gear college
or Gear...

549
00:22:34,950 --> 00:22:37,050
Alien terror attack!

550
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:41,420
Okay. Sounds like
a job for... me.

551
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:44,830
I better go
get into my alter ego.

552
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:46,490
So cool.
I know.

553
00:22:46,530 --> 00:22:48,600
Wait, what alter ego?

554
00:22:48,630 --> 00:22:50,400
He was already wearing
the jacket.

555
00:22:52,870 --> 00:22:54,240
Gotta know when to hold 'em
and...

556
00:22:54,270 --> 00:22:55,270
Aaaaah!

557
00:22:57,270 --> 00:23:00,270
From addic7ed.com