Whatever's happening to
you... Ramone!
...Don't come at it from fear because the fear will
destroy you. You think one of our students
did this? This is payback for not
getting their White pride club.
I'd like to take a look at your game.
- Why? You want to analyze it? - I want to learn
- more about you. - I'll send you a link.
Greg, I still need you to want me.
- Happy birthday! - Well, thank you!
Thank you for flying to Vancouver.
It's no prob.
Kind of a few things I need to do up here anyway.
- I'll get to it. - We'd like to publish in
the fall. And we'd love for your father to write the
- foreward. - Imam Chuck, this is my
husband. I would love to have
- you both over for dinner. - Well, yes, definitely.
- We would love to. - Audrey Bayer dismissed the
- idea of prosecution. - Oh come on, fire me?
It was either the empathy initiative or Math.
You got it wrong, it was about those kids.
It's either them or Math.
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
I was completely misrepresented,
and publicly humiliated on TV,
while he saved his ass with the school board,
and they killed the funding.
They made my life's work a joke on the news!
And you're just supposed to walk away and do nothing?
- Fuck them! - Fuck them!
We can fight this.
All we need is money.
Federal grants.
Cut to the bone. Virtually impossible.
All right, so we turn to the private sector.
Who do we know that's really rich?
The Lattimers, but it all goes to cancer.
Um...
The Fallons.
But they focus on Children's Hospital.
The Handelmans are strictly Alzheimer's.
Wendy Ellis is so cheap, she doesn't give anything to anybody.
- That's obscene. - Isn't it?
What about Steve Benjamin?
Oh, wow.
Steve Benjamin. Right! He's in Portland.
Made a fortune in clean energy or something.
So he still might have a social conscience.
Why haven't we reached out?
Was such a sweetheart.
The three of us had so much fun together.
We did.
He was a good guy.
And he had a thing for you.
Oh, I know.
I think he wanted to sleep with you.
Yeah.
It could have happened,
but I never let it go there.
I couldn't.
I was all yours.
Body and soul.
It would be really weird to go to him now,
begging for dollars.
Maybe money has changed him, who knows.
Let's give him a shot.
Nothing to lose.
If he says no, we'll just keep fighting.
Ah!
I feel fantastic.
Establishing the body-mind connection...
Aah, shit!
Okay.
I feel fantastic.
Body-mind connection,
first thing in the morning.
Ah, greetings!
Hey, did I wanna get up this morning
and go to the pool? Not really.
But establishing the body-mind connection
- first thing in the morning means... - Excuse me.
What?
You have a little snot coming out of your nose.
Ah, shit. Really?
I thought you'd want to know.
I mean, it seems like it would be important to you.
Uh, this isn't vanity.
This is for work. This is my brand.
Sure.
Don't worry, you'll get it right eventually. Yeah, I know.
I'm only trying to help.
Yeah, well, I'm good.
That's quite an ego you've got there.
"Pride goeth before a fall."
Okay, well, pride is actually healthy.
It's not ego.
It's self-esteem.
It's self-confidence.
It's self-actualization,
and I'm not falling!
Ah!
Hey, did I wanna wake up early and go for a swim?
Hell, no.
But I did it anyway, and now I feel fantastic.
Establishing the body-mind connection
first thing in the morning means maximum energy,
and personal power all day long.
- I'm sorry. - _
If you want me to get you dressed,
- you have to get the claws. - _
Here they come!
There you go!
_
Okay, look at this!
This is what you wanna wear?
Yes!
All right. Arms up!
Arms... up.
Keep them up, because I'm coming in, and I'm...
Oh! Uh, Mommy's gonna finish up, okay, honey?
- No! - Ashley, you're up!
Here is your dress.
Okay.
Hey, she can't wear that.
We're saving it for her birthday.
Baby, hey!
Sweetheart. Angel.
Let's find something extra special for you to wear today.
Come on. Hailey, stop.
The sparkles are for your birthday party, okay?
Don't you wanna be sparkly tomorrow?
No!
Ooh! Oh my gosh!
Look at this!
It's your favorite favorite.
Dad!
Girl!
I don't know what to do with you.
You've already got skis.
Those are downhill.
These are powder. Completely different.
And you've got the snowboard.
That's a totally other sport.
And... it's not winter.
Exactly, and that's why these...
- How much did you spend? - ...were on sale.
So, yes, I bought new skis.
But in reality, I was saving us money.
You're trying to gaslight me.
Only a little.
Are we all set for Hailey's party tomorrow?
At Chuck E. Cheese?
- Yeah, should be. - Okay. You got all the RSVP's?
Uh, no. Those are supposed to go to your email.
But I haven't heard from anybody.
Not one person.
Hey, Malcolm?
Are you sure those were supposed to come to me?
Yeah! We decided.
Babe, relax.
It'll all work out.
Hi, Lena! Hi!
It's Ashley Collins.
Uh, I was just calling to...
Oh my gosh!
- It's a super model! - You're so beautiful!
Please change her.
Uh, sorry.
I was just wondering if we'll see little Noah
at Hailey's party tomorrow?
Oh, that's too bad. I hope he feels better.
Hello, love of my life.
My day's just run away with me.
I need you to stop by the market,
and pick up a bottle of Doogh for Imam Chuck's dinner tonight,
and some nice baklava.
Uh, okay.
Uh, pistachio or walnut?
Anything, just fresh.
And flowers.
All right. It'll have to wait
until I, uh, finish my rounds this afternoon.
Don't forget, Farid.
You know how important this is to me, right?
Anything for you, my love.
Where are you?
You're so far away.
Nothing is far away in this apartment.
If I had an actual live, flaming hot dude in bed,
I would not be staring at a fucking
computer screen.
Hey.
Look at me. I'm real.
This is all real.
This is real too, Henry.
I just have to work for a little while.
No. No. That's not gonna happen, kid.
Well, you're not the boss of me, old man.
Do I gotta sit my ass on that keyboard right there?
- Don't you fucking dare. - No.
You're not working on the game.
- I'm not working at the laundry. - Stop.
- We're not working today. - Henry!
I got another kind of job for you.
I think you'll like it.
- Oh, yeah? - Come back to bed.
Not till you brush your teeth.
Stop!
- Ooh, that got him! - Stop!
- Ooh, that got him! - No!
You stink. Get off.
No! No!
Well, why wouldn't you propose if you love her?
Well, it's just a meaningless grand gesture, isn't it?
Maybe grand gestures are the best we can offer
in a dying civilization.
But is love what we have to offer?
Not a salute to some random, institutional construct.
Marriage is more than that, though.
It's a binary organism.
It lives and breathes
and changes and grows.
It's an expression of our highest human ideals:
loyalty, fidelity,
courage.
Marriage is... is like a row boat.
Sometimes, you're in it together.
Sometimes, one of you falls out.
Sometimes, she helps you back in.
Sometimes, she smacks you on the head with the oar.
I love this. Yeah, you're on a roll.
Sometimes, you row together,
but one of you rows so hard
that you wind up just going around in circles.
Sometimes, you just...
Oh!
- Hey. - Hey!
Am I interrupting?
Oh, um, Duc.
Uh, you know Michael, right?
Yeah. From the party.
- Hey. - Hey.
Yeah, we were just sitting around
shooting the shit, as always.
- I'll go. - Okay.
You can stay.
So what can I do for you?
Um...
Well.
I was wondering if, uh, you'd be interested
in writing the foreword for my book.
My son is publishing a book.
Wow! That's fantastic.
Congratulations, Duc.
I would be honored to write your foreword, son.
Aw, thanks, Dad.
That means a lot.
Well...
Oh. Uh...
Uh, well, I'm just gonna let you get back to your philosophizing, so...
- You... you don't wanna...? - Ah, you know.
Nice seeing you.
You too.
- Oh, boy. - What?
I'm not sure what to write.
His book doesn't speak to me.
It's all iron-willed self-discipline,
or is that self-denial?
I-I can't figure it out.
I don't know. Maybe it's generational.
Well, I could read it.
We could talk about it. Might help.
Well, you'd be doing me a huge favor.
But you need to be honest.
I don't want you just telling me what you think I want to hear.
You do that, you know.
Promise.
Okay. Good boy.
Hey, Jessica, it's Ashley Collins.
I was just calling to...
No, it's okay. Hardly anybody RSVP'ed.
Stitches?
Okay. Yeah. Well, never mind.
Your mom's here.
Good morning!
Good morning.
What's up?
I need business advice.
I thought Duc was your go-to.
Where did you get that idea?
You're both knowledgeable and highly successful.
But he'll make me do push-ups before he tells me anything.
It won't take long, but I understand if you're too busy.
No, no, no. It's... it's fine.
You're here. So, tell me.
How do you do The Kickstarter?
I have to finance the Empathy Initiative.
The funds were yanked.
Oh, Mom, I'm sorry.
Okay, well, first, it's just Kickstarter,
not The Kickstarter.
Uh, and I'm not really sure that's what you need.
It's a lot of people chipping in for a good cause.
That's my understanding.
I mean, how is that not perfect for me?
How could that not work?
Kickstarter, it's all or nothing money.
Okay? And what you need is is an ongoing source
of income for a continuing education program.
Couldn't they make an exception?
Well, no, it means tracking your contributors
and giving them updates and rewards.
It's a really big job.
- Rewards? For charity? - Yeah.
That's insane. That's... that's...
the opposite of charity.
I know, but that's how they do it.
No exceptions, I'm sorry.
Wouldn't you rather get $100,000 from one person?
Rather than $50,000 from 100 different people
who want prizes?
Don't you know somebody rich
who'd like to atone by financing a good cause?
That's exactly what Dad said, that much shit.
Mom, come here. You're tired.
Come on.
Thirty years of nonprofits will do that.
You know...
I envy you.
You've always been smarter than I am.
This is so much easier
than trying to make the world a better place.
- Sweetie. - Hmm?
Thank you.
Lauren, hi. Thanks for getting back to me.
Can we expect Max at Hailey's...
No?
That's fine. Don't worry.
Okay, okay.
Are we one farmer or two?
Oh, two. Mm-hmm.
Uh, what's... what's your farmer's name?
Clarence.
"Clarence."
What's your farmer name?
Mmm.
Cletus.
Just put down "My bull is stump broke."
The farmers will know what I mean.
What does a stump have to do with it?
Bulls are big, city boy.
Gotta stand on a stump to fuck 'em.
Ew! Dude!
Gross! No!
- Come on. - You know way too much about this.
Did you grow up on a farm or...?
Maybe.
Where?
This bull. Was it a good relationship?
Mm, yeah. For a while.
Then we broke up.
- Why? - Come on, man.
I don't know. He didn't know what he wanted.
I know.
Yeah?
Yep.
Who do you want?
- Who do you think? - Say it.
I want you.
Be careful what you wish for, Cletus.
Hey, Kristen.
Hey, what?
You're looking very diverse today.
I get it.
I'm not diverse. I'm the reverse of ethnic.
I have no culture.
I'm nothing. I know.
It was a joke.
Oh, well, good thing you told me.
'Cause it wasn't funny.
And the theme of the video essay is "My Portland."
I want you to go around your city,
and I want you to film everything and anything you see
that may have meaning for you.
Then, we'll upload what you have and shape it.
Well, what if we don't want to call it "My Portland?" Yeah!
Robb, I said theme.
Theme. What's a theme?
Navid.
- Central unifying idea. - Thank you.
A theme is not the title.
- Oh. - Right.
I'll assign you partners.
Oh, wait, can we pick our own?
- Yeah! - Is it "Say Everything Twice" day?
I'm picking your partners.
Nice to see you in class now and then, Kristen.
Ooh, burn.
Jordan and Zachary!
Becca and Kara.
Justin and Hunter.
Nicole and Cameron.
Robb and Chloe.
Kyle and Savannah, Kristen and Navid.
Logan and Logan, okay?
This is fun. I'm letting you use your phone.
Bring me something good back, okay?
Try to use what's specific to the medium
to get your viewpoint across.
Hey, pretty.
Hey... hot man.
We should've been partners in there.
Yeah, right.
We got robbed.
Robbed, I tell you.
Got it. You're so funny.
- So... - So...
Madison's parents are gone. Again.
She's having another party.
You coming?
- Well, she didn't invite me, so. - Well, I'm inviting you.
So she won't care.
Well, okay then.
Okay, then. Meet me there at 8:00?
- 9:00? - No problem.
Uh, should I bring anything or...?
Just you.
Hi, partner.
Want to... make a plan?
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
- This all the flowers they had? - Yep, this is it.
You promised you would be polite.
I'm always polite.
Farid. Farid.
What? But if he wants to discuss, I'm not a mute.
- Okay. - I'll discuss.
Asalamu Alaykum!
- Wa Alaikum Salaam. - Hi.
Thank you!
- Come in! - Thank you. Okay.
I wasn't sure if this would ever happen.
I know!
Yeah, I feel the same.
- It's a gift to be together tonight. - Alhamdoliilah.
What can I get you?
Uh, Doogh. A Persian yogurt drink.
I'm familiar. Delicious! Thank you!
And a silky, supple Oregon Pinot Noir...
for me.
Oh.
Whatever you like.
Please sit. I'll be right back.
We are the worst parents in Portland.
We are so lame, we can't even pull off a party for a four-year-old.
Well, it's not all our fault.
Those other parents suck, too.
Yeah. Yeah, fuck them!
They... they screwed us.
They screwed Hailey. They're dead to me.
Well, you should have followed up,
but I guess you were too busy buying skis.
You gave me the guest list.
I sent out the invite. I sent out the reminder.
You were supposed to follow-up.
Devon's mom said she told you they couldn't come.
Devon's mom is a drunk.
Everyone knows that!
I never got a call except
from one newly separated dad... who cried.
I spent hours on the phone today
trying to get a straight answer from these loser guests.
You are the one who should have followed up.
This isn't helping.
No, sorry.
She's gotta have a party.
Forest Park.
- What about it? - Family picnic.
Babe, no. Hailey doesn't want that.
She wants bad pizza,
and... and games, and loud noises.
Some kind of place that smells like pee and puke.
Sweetie, that's what you want, okay? Hailey's four.
Riding in somebody else's car is a big deal for her.
We used to go to Forest Park all the time when I was a kid.
She'll love it.
It's pretty late notice for your family.
My mother will make them all come.
I could take the drone.
Please don't tell me we have a drone.
Everybody can make it?
Ramon didn't answer,
but I can't imagine him missing anything for Hailey.
We'll swing by and pick him up on the way tomorrow.
Remember, he hates pickles.
No pickles for Ramon!
No mayo for Duc.
No mustard for Kristen.
No cheese for Ashley.
Malcolm's good with all condiments.
He's not very discerning, Malcolm.
Did you call Steve Benjamin?
- No. - Why not?
Maybe it's time for me to quit.
What?
What are you talking about?
When we were young and thought about what we'd be like now,
I hoped I'd be so much more.
- Audrey. - Not in a competitive way, but...
I'm disappointed in myself.
- Why? - Well, you have your book and tenure.
Steve Benjamin has his billions.
Ashley has her business.
Duc has his... whatever it is.
What do I have to show? A bourgeois lifestyle.
A few good deeds. A couple of hits, more misses.
Small-time.
Not much of anything.
And I just got fired.
Audrey...
you raised a family.
That's the most demanding and creative job there is.
That puts you head and shoulders above the rest of us.
And in your spare time, you helped other people.
How many people are alive today
because you talked them out of suicide?
I don't remember. I only remember my mistakes.
You know what we need?
Chips! Chips. Carrot sticks.
The cooler from the basement.
- Cake server! - No.
Adventure.
A journey to distant lands. Just the two of us?
Yeah, like we used to.
Except no youth hostels.
Oh my God!
That wreck in India.
The roaches were the size of my leg.
That place was missing walls.
We peed in a hole.
- With snakes. - Where should we go?
Some place a little luxe.
King-size bed, hot showers.
- Room service. - We are not going on a cruise.
- No. - I will not be trapped
on a floating skyscraper
with bad buffets and mysterious fatal diseases.
Oh, God, no.
Not to mention what it does to the ocean.
Never on a cruise. I'll Google.
But we can't.
- Yes, we can. - We can't leave Kristen and Ramon.
Well, not now.
But someday... soon.
Someday.
Love you.
Wow! Lydia Booker.
Realtor of the Month.
Thank you.
Thank you from my heart.
For so long, I have dreamed of this day.
But this award is not mine alone.
Somebody else belongs up here on this stage with me.
My motivational architect, Duc Bayer-Boatwright!
Come up here. Please, Duc.
You're the reason I'm here.
Go ahead, man!
- Oh. - Oh!
Oh, well, everything was her.
All I did, Lydia, was show you the strength
and talent you already had.
Duc told me, "See it. Want it. Have it!"
And I got it! Whoo! Yes!
I can help you. You really think you can help me?
Glen, I do.
I mean, why shouldn't you have the adventure and excitement
and passion you deserve?
Yeah. Yeah!
Why shouldn't I?
Why should everyone else have it and not me?
Make an appointment for your free consultation, Glen,
and we can begin to draft the blueprint for your new life.
Oh! Thanks, man.
- You got it. - Can't wait.
- Hi. - Hey, I'm Kelly.
Hey, Kelly. I wonder if you can clear something up for me.
It's a simple question, but...
I'm hoping for a hard answer.
Intriguing.
I've met the most beautiful, sexy man.
Kelly.
I see you.
I want you.
Can I have you?
Kelly, I'm very flattered, but...
I'm also very careful about where I put my...
energy.
Which is why I'm celibate.
That is really difficult to believe.
It's true. I'm sorry.
What a waste.
Selfie?
- With me? - Yeah, it's for my Instagram.
Every time I post a picture with a beautiful woman,
my followers spike.
Hmm.
- I'd love to. - Hold up my card.
And now.
Ow!
- Ow! Jesus! - Sorry.
Sorry. I just got carried away.
No teeth! Jesus Christ.
Haven't you done this before?
Yeah, like a lot.
Like, I can't even count.
All those guys loved it.
Ow.
Um, let me try again.
- I won't... - No, no, no! Just...
Just forget it. Shit.
You know what? Actually, just wait.
Just stand there.
Show me your tits. I'll jerk-off.
Yeah?
Okay.
You know what?
Fuck you.
Excuse me?
Kristen, what the fuck's your problem?
I said, fuck you!
And fuck you.
You don't seem to be scared of anything.
Everybody's scared.
We're hardwired for fear, man.
That's how we've survived
since we climbed out of the trees and into jungle.
Now, if I wasn't scared, I'd be scared.
What are you talking about?
Not everybody. We... we don't have to be scared all the time.
See, that's... yeah.
Guys like you, that's kind of your, like, go-to.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What does that mean?
Techno-geeks, computer heads.
- Stuff like that. - Fuck you.
That's not what I am.
Dude.
Well, Henry, it's not all that I am.
Right, so you think that we're civilized,
what, because we got, like, gigabytes,
and robots and high-def TV and all that.
But if you step away from that screen,
you walk out that door, you go into the street,
you go into the woods, man, nothing has changed.
We're all savages.
And this? This is just a way to avoid
scary, messy real life.
- Bullshit. - Mm, see?
If it wasn't true, you wouldn't be pissed right now.
That's bullshit. That's fucking bullshit, Henry, okay?
First off, you don't know anything about technology.
- That is true. - And... and second of all,
it isn't separate from real life.
It is... it is part of real life that you're choosing to avoid.
And third, Henry, what I do? The game?
That's my fucking life raft right now.
All right? This is where I work my shit out.
These... these computer screens, all right?
They're... they're keeping me sane.
Yeah, easy, man. I wasn't trying...
Wait, wait, wait. Without the game...
I could be my Uncle Ike, right?
- A schizo. - No.
In and out of hospitals.
Shuffling and mumbling, all right?
He suffers, man.
You can just fucking feel it coming off of him.
These... these waves of pain.
Since he was my age, this poor old, fucking guy.
And everybody around him...
Everybody around him who loves him,
my mom... my mom...
I can't do that, Henry.
I can't be that, all right?
I-I-I won't!
No, you won't. You won't, you won't.
I won't let you.
Come here.
Look, I'm sorry.
Sorry. I was wrong.
I see that.
Hey. Hey, hey. I'm with you.
- For real? - For real.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
So no wife for you? No marriage?
He treats everyone like a patient.
No, no. It's a fair question.
- No. - Mmm.
But you're neglecting your Muslim duty, Chuck.
I just haven't met the one yet.
Allah will introduce us soon, I hope.
Inshallah.
You're a lucky man.
Layla is a treasure.
Well, that's what I tell him.
I don't think he listens.
I wish you would come to the mosque.
You'd be a great role model for our young people.
Your whole career has been about goodness.
Helping others.
You walk a spiritual path.
Can't deny that.
You converts are so romantic.
But I won't be coming to your mosque.
I have a problem with Muslims.
We all have a problem with each other,
but there's plenty of room in Islam for that.
But let's be tolerant and generous.
Let's... let's talk about everything.
Hmm.
Muslims like to think they're special.
We are. That's part of our charm.
Doesn't everyone?
Muslims like to self-victimize.
We love to blame outsiders, but...
we never take any responsibility for our own immoral acts.
Islam is a mercy.
If you see its opposite, cruelty,
then you know that is not Islam.
I'm not talking about terrorists, and... and ISIS.
I'm talking about Sharia law,
honor killings.
Acid in women's faces.
I agree with you.
Children being forced to take part in Ashura.
And these are all things that we need to face as a community.
- You could help us with that. - Mm-mm.
Not me.
I'm a man of reason, not religion.
Those aren't mutually exclusive.
They're both a search for truth.
Mm, I disagree.
Religion is completely irrational.
- Completely. - Ah.
It's a convenient tool for oppressors
to manipulate weak minds.
Sometimes, yes.
And we've seen it throughout history.
It destroys families, lives, countries.
That is not the religion.
That is a tragedy of fanaticism.
Layla told me you were there.
Right in the middle of the revolution.
Yes.
The things that he went through.
He was just a child.
- Stop. - I've studied it, of course.
In depth.
It must have been terrifying.
You studied it. I lived it.
Let me tell you something.
- Farid. - No, no, he needs to say this.
- How do you know? - Yeah, how do you know?
Really?
- You expect me to just sit here... - Farid.
...and listen to a white man preaching Islam to me?
To me?
Who was there when blood ran in the streets of Tehran,
because of Islam!
Who the fuck are you to tell me about religion?
It's true. I am a white man who found his faith in books.
But my faith is real.
You want my religion? Take it.
You want my culture? I give it freely.
I don't want any part of it.
It's all yours, Chuck.
Go with God.
Go far, far away.
With your imaginary, treacherous God.
I am filled with shame.
Well, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Other than acting like you never have
a glass of wine with dinner.
You were deliberately aggressive and offensive in his home.
- He provoked me. - Bullshit!
You were itching for a fight from the start.
When you're invited into someone's house,
you show respect for their beliefs.
It's just basic decency.
What gives you the right to share my trauma?
- Huh? Does he know about my scars? - Stop it.
Stop it! You dishonored me.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
- Him, I don't care about. - You should care.
Navid looks up to Imam Chuck
in a way that he doesn't look up to you,
because you won't let anyone in.
Henry.
Henry!
Come on, man. Don't... don't be playing games.
What the fuck?
Well, hello there!
Come in.
Okay, if you need anything else, just let me know.
We're always glad when Navid's friends visit.
You have any brothers...
Mom, we have to work on our assignment.
All right, I'll go. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Kristen, we'll see more of you soon, I hope.
Thank you, Mrs. Shokrani.
- Your mom's nice. - She's a lawyer with the ACLU.
She works mainly with refugees.
She speaks like five different languages.
Whoa. So, wait.
Is your dad a shrink?
I think he's treating my brother.
He treats half of Portland.
So, are you Arab or...?
Oh, my dad's from Iran and my mom's Palestinian, but she was born here.
That's fucking impressive.
Okay, so.
- "My Portland." - Uh, don't be ridiculous.
Forget that shit. What's with the Cover Girl?
- What's with the hajib? - Hijab.
Well, what are you?
I mean, who are you?
- Gender fluid. - Oh my God, I wish I was.
- But not at school. - Yeah, well, that's injustice, though.
It's not safe.
Okay, I'm not gonna tell anyone, but...
I mean, you're... you're a Muslim.
How is that okay?
And wait, do your parents know?
What about your dad? Oh, he's a... he's a shrink, so...
- Do I get to talk? - Sorry, I'm just... I'm all jacked up!
This is like totally interesting when almost nothing is!
Okay.
How is okay with Muslims?
As long as I don't have sex with men.
It's a penetration thing.
Ah, limiting.
Um, so, are you, like, a real Muslim?
What does that mean?
You know how, like, some people go to church,
but they don't believe in anything?
Uh, I believe. I'm a real one.
Yeah, but not like a Republican Muslim.
I don't tell anybody what to do with their religion.
Nouman Ali Khan says,
"Don't force Islam on anyone.
Show them its beauty through your own practice."
But aren't you scared?
I mean, they burned down that mosque
in Seattle last month.
Not too scared.
Some men came to our mosque once.
They were drunk,
and shouting and waving signs.
Confederate flags.
Dumbshits. Oregon wasn't even a state
during the Civil War.
But everybody in the neighborhood came out,
and made them leave.
You know, we didn't ask them for help or anything, they just...
- did it on their own. - Okay.
Portland is cool sometimes.
Sometimes.
Should we go out and walk around downtown or something?
Oh, man, I can't.
I have to go to a family party
for a four-year-old.
We'll go tomorrow.
Yeah, tomorrow.
Navid!
You baller.
Ow.
You hate religion, you don't believe in God.
- That's fine. - I don't need your permission.
But Chuck was right.
You're a human being with a spirit
on a spiritual path.
What is the price for denying that?
There's a void in your soul.
It's a black hole in the center of yourself,
and that is what concerns me, Farid.
Leave me alone.
Please.
? While you're looking to find yourself ?
? Somebody else ?
? Me lovin' you ?
Hurry up.
They're taking forever!
I am not sacrificing my whole life for this kiddie party.
And why are you torturing me
with this Neolithic so-called music?
Open your mind, sweetie.
This is where your derivative so-called music came from.
I'm not going.
What if something happened to him?
He's an adult, Ramon.
He'll be fine.
Why did he leave? I mean...
What if he never comes back?
Yeah, I... I guess...
I guess I just fucking shared way too much.
Stop.
At the very least, he'll be back for his phone,
and you'll talk about it then.
Locking yourself up in your apartment
is not gonna help anything.
Come on, let's go.
I don't know whether to cry or hit him.
Look, it's your niece's birthday.
She'll miss you.
Dad, it doesn't matter.
She's not gonna remember any of this.
It'll matter to her today.
That's the point, Ramon.
And here's the other thing,
do you really wanna sit around waiting
for somebody that took off on you
in the middle of the fucking night?
Yeah.
All right.
Fuck it. Let's go.
Just... please.
Don't tell anybody at all. I promise...
if you take a quick shower.
'Cause it's getting kind of ripe in here.
Where's Dad's charger?
I'll find it.
What is that?
Looks like it came off something.
Decoration?
Can opener thingy?
Kristen just sent me a picture of a sex toy.
What?
That's what I showed you online.
Is that a toy?
No! No, no.
_
Hey! Hey, who's ready for a party?
- Me! - You!
Party!
What's up with Kristen?
I never know. Why?
She, uh, texted me a cock sling.
Oh, shit.
It was, uh...
a gift, a joke gift from...
from school.
Don't tell your mother.
You know how she is about porn-y things, you know.
Okay.
What's this?
- Ooh! I know! Ow! - Don't say anything.
- Where's Henry? - I don't care.
Mmm, honeymoon's over?
Shut up.
It's, um...
- It's, uh, for the gas tank. - Oh.
- Should I get one for my car? - Nah.
? Ring around the Rosie ?
- ? A pocket full of posies ? - _
- ? Ashes, ashes... ? - _
- You got a fucking drone, man. - You wanna try it?
- Again! - All right.
Again, Mommy!
- Good job! - _
I don't want to.
- Hmm? I want you to. Come on. - Ow.
? Ring around the Rosie ?
? Pocket full of posies ?
Come on!
? Ashes ?
? We all fall down! ?
- That's a Barbie! - Yes!
? Happy birthday to you ?
? Happy birthday, dear Hailey ?
? Happy birthday to you ?
So many birthdays here.
Don't cry.
Look how happy they are.
So many beautiful memories.
You know that... thing in the car?
For the gas tank?
It's not for the gas tank.
- No? - No.
It's, uh...
- it's a sex toy. - Oh.
Okay.
It's for us.
Well, I hope so.
Who else?
Why'd you lie about it?
You know you can tell me anything.
Well, the kids were around, and...
I thought a sex toy was a good idea at the time.
Now it just seems sort of absurd, so...
I was just trying to lively things up.
We were pretty lively last night.
Sex toy.
Sure, why not?
- Tag! You're it! - Oh.
GG's coming!
What do we play next?
You wanna play another game?
- Hide-and-seek! - Okay.
Hide-and-seek! - Let her win.
- Why? - I mean it, Duc.
I know you. Let her find you.
All right, but it's not fair!
One Mississippi,
two... Mississippi,
three Mississippi,
four Mississippi,
five Mississippi,
six Mississippi,
seven Mississippi, eight Mississippi,
nine Mississippi,
ten!
Good job!
Perfect.
Mijo.
Mami?
Mijo!
Mijo.
Mom!
- Ramon! - Mom!
Ramon!
Okay, go.
Please!
Ramon!
Ramon, we're coming!
I'm here. I'm here.
- You're safe. - What happened?
- We're here. - What happened?
What happened?
It's okay.