For the last time, where's yo body?!
Yeah, we want to arrest all of you, not just the bones.
That's it! Give me five mutes alone with him.
I'll pull him apart, piece by piece.
You? All right, then, rough him up.
Hey, stop laughing! Your bones are sharp.
Ow, my bones!
My sensitive bones!
1x06 - Operation Large and in Charge
-- Addic7ed.com --
As I'm sure you've heard, the mysterious sea creature
we call "Blozark" has utterly devastated
most of South America.
We sent our undefeated robot champion, Ultrastar,
to fight him. Here's what happed.
Thanks for nothing, Ultrastar!
Rest in peace, Ultrastar.
Blozark is currently heading straight for us,
so we're desperate for new defense strategies.
This might sound crazy, but what if I told you
I could fight Blozark myself?
I would say, "You're cuckoo bananas."
Didn't you get your ass handed to you by that
- skeleton earlier? - I held my own. Thank you.
Well, since no one has any ideas,
it's time for our next order of business ...
Friday Funnies. Roll the clip.
Not my ass!
Wait. Ooh, actually, this.
Look at that dumbass.
Please, stop. I'll give you money.
I come from a wealthy family.
How could you possibly beat Blozark?
So, what you're saying is,
you used to work for a company
called Cube Sphere Industries, and while you were there,
you developed an experimental technology
- that could save the city? - Yes!
And we're driving to Cube Sphere Industries right now?
- Yes! - Sounds like a waste of time to me.
Cube Sphere designed the J.A.S.O.N. phone.
It'd be so cool to work at a place like that.
No, Chubbie. You're on a doggie diet.
No! Have another health bar.
Oh, you'd rather eat your own teeth, huh?
Fine. Knock yourself out, Chubbie.
Eat your own teeth.
This place is amazing.
- It must feel good to be back. - Just you wait.
I may be a joke at Hot Streets,
but I was a king when I worked here.
Hey, I know her. Dr. Craw!
It's your old co-worker, Donald French!
Security!
We're Hot Streets agents, here on official busines
Uhh, whoops.
I'm Dr. Craw, head of research for Cube Sphere.
I know. We worked in the same lab for four years.
Huh. According to comny records, you did work here.
- I just don't remember you, at all. - It's me, Donnie French.
I went by D.J.?
We need access to French's old projects.
It just has to be here.
Look at these. "Perpetual Boomerang."
"The Future Flute."
- "Gravity Gravy." - Gravity Gravy?
Aw.
Found it! My greatest invention ...
the Large and In Charge Device.
Sounds like it won't work. No need to explain what it does.
If I surgically implant this into my chest,
it will convert my tiny molecules into jumbo molecules.
Jumbo molecules?
That would make you approximately 300 feet tall.
- Hmm. - It only lasts 20 minutes,
but that should be long enough
for me to tear Blozark a new blow hole.
Maybe you should let me get Large and In Charge.
I'm better than you at punching things.
This prototype is only compatible with my DNA,
and it's the exact same size of my heart.
Wait, that thing is gonna replace your heart? That's dangerous.
It's more than dangerous, it's idiotic.
She's the only one with any sense around here.
- Are you sure about this? - Jen?
I think you may have a future in science.
- Really? - Yes. You remind me of a younger,
dumpier version of myself.
How would you feel about an internship?
It could lead to somhing.
- It sounds pretty damn exciting. - Puff?
What a cool place to work.
Since we can't implant your chest device until the fight,
we're going to run a virtual reality simulation first.
Plug me in.
Okay, first thing's first.
Oh, my God! Did he have to shit right in my mouth?
That's Blozark's thing.
Sure, but did you have to make
- the shit taste like shit? - Yes.
I'd rather die than have that happen for real. I give up.
If you want to work her your hands have to get a little dirty.
I'm ready for anything.
That's Bison Guy.
He's a weapon I've been developing for the Chinese.
Oh, my God! Is he okay?
That's just Bison Guy for you.
He screams because his heart is irregular.
Someday, I'll get that worked out.
Listen, we all know you're not cut out for this.
I'm not. You win. I give up, okay?
- So, I called in a favor. - It can't be...
Horatio "The Finger" Tub Tub?
- AKA, Mr. America? - The one and only.
That's right. I gave up once, too,
but it turns out I was lying to myself.
- And then, in 2003, I finally did it. - You did do it.
The whole world was watching.
But what the heck are you doing here?
My close personal friend Mark Branski said you're taking on Blozark.
I knew I had to help.
Come with me. I'll show you how I win all my fights.
Help me feed my super plants.
A Cube Sphere botany project. Here's a sack of potatoes.
These aren't potatoes, they're hamsters.
We call them "flesh potatoes."
- Oh, boy. - Unless you don't have the guts.
- Yum, yum. - Flesh potatoes?
No, Chubbie! No flesh potatoes for you.
Step number one, punch that tree.
Yow!
Ignore your hand. What else do you feel?
Well, my heart is pounding.
That's because your heart is growing.
- Punch it again. - Ow! What's next?
That's it. You're ready.
Thank God we had a real champ
to train you, and just in time, too.
- Blozark is near. - I'll fight with my heart.
Ready for Operation Large and In Charge.
Step one ... remove my heart.
Great job milking Bison Guy.
I'd say you almost have the job.
Awesome.
Jen, I need you to hold onto my heart. It's in here.
- I'm pretty busy here. - I'm going to need this back
the moment the fight is over, or I'll die.
Make sure Chubbie Webbers doesn't eat it.
- He sure looks hungry. - Chubbie, down!
Uh-oh, that's the Blozark alarm.
Ooh.
Hey, French, I want you to have this.
You represent America, so it's only appropriate.
It fits. Give it up to The Finger for nailing my head size.
- 9! - Looks like Blozark's heading
straight for Hot Street's headquarters.
It's go time, baby.
Operation Large and In Charge ... that's you.
I'm Large and in Charge.
Oh, oh, oh...
Oh! Oh!
It's not working!
It's not!
Hey, Blozark?
Yeah!
How about a building sandwich?
Oh, man, whatever he's doing out there, that ain't heart.
My God, you're right.
Pull the egg sacs out of this smelly spider womb.
- Come on. - Jen, focus.
You almost have the job.
Mmm!
It seems like French's chess piece isn't working.
What if I crawled inside and switched it to manual mode?
That way, I can control him like a giant mech.
Horatio, you're an American hero,
but you have bigger fish to fry.
The big fight is next week, and I've got money on you.
French, what are you doing? Use your heart.
I can't. My heart's in a cooler.
Then, use your head. Something!
My head.
If I overload it ...
Aah!
His heart was inside his head.
Oh, he did it! Better get his heart ready.
Chubbie, how could you?
I need a heart, fast!
I know what you're thinking, but you're too good for that, right?
- You don't have the guts! - Great idea. Thanks.
Congratulations, you have the guts
to work at Cube Sphere. You're hired.
Unfortunately, Bison Guy was a $5 million guy, so you're fired.
Our very own Agent Donald French is the savior of the city.
Everybody thought you were a joke, including me,
but look at you now.
I have to tell you ... ever since I got my heart back,
I have the lust of a bison,
and my boners are glow-in-the-dark.
Now for today's Friday Funnies.
-- Addic7ed.com --