1
00:00:00,033 --> 00:00:04,056
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

2
00:00:05,948 --> 00:00:08,494
By the way, you were wrong.

3
00:00:08,518 --> 00:00:11,063
Yeah? Look around. I know.

4
00:00:11,087 --> 00:00:13,465
When I was putting on my work shirt
this morning, two things dawned on me.

5
00:00:13,489 --> 00:00:15,467
One, this shade of blue
really makes my eyes pop,

6
00:00:15,491 --> 00:00:17,936
and, two, this shirt
does not require a tie.

7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,720
I don't know why I would want
to extend this conversation,

8
00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,704
but... how's that make me wrong?

9
00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:23,882
'Cause you're always up in my grille.

10
00:00:23,906 --> 00:00:25,450
"You gotta learn how to tie a tie, Axl.

11
00:00:25,474 --> 00:00:26,785
You gonna need it for your job."

12
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,887
Well, I've got a job,

13
00:00:28,911 --> 00:00:30,855
and the only person in my entire company

14
00:00:30,879 --> 00:00:31,990
who wears a tie

15
00:00:32,014 --> 00:00:33,391
is the talking toilet logo.

16
00:00:33,415 --> 00:00:36,728
Look, every man should know
how to do seven things,

17
00:00:36,752 --> 00:00:38,229
and tying a tie is one of 'em.

18
00:00:38,253 --> 00:00:39,631
Huh.

19
00:00:39,655 --> 00:00:42,734
I don't know why I'd want
to extend this conversation,

20
00:00:42,758 --> 00:00:43,768
so I won't.

21
00:00:43,792 --> 00:00:45,337
The other six are...

22
00:00:45,361 --> 00:00:47,361
whistle with your fingers, read a map,

23
00:00:47,496 --> 00:00:49,507
grill with charcoal, shine your shoes,

24
00:00:49,531 --> 00:00:51,343
open a bottle without an opener,

25
00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:52,777
and breaking down a door.

26
00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:53,778
Wow.

27
00:00:53,802 --> 00:00:55,113
That's all pretty relevant stuff.

28
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,849
Got any more gems like that,
just shoot me a fax.

29
00:00:57,873 --> 00:00:59,351
Why is that funny?

30
00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:01,353
- 'Cause it's old.
- Ah.

31
00:01:01,377 --> 00:01:02,721
How am I supposed to learn how to drive

32
00:01:02,745 --> 00:01:04,055
if you won't let me practice?

33
00:01:04,079 --> 00:01:07,000
I'm sorry, Brick, but there
were eggs in the car... and me.

34
00:01:07,024 --> 00:01:09,127
Dad, will you please talk
some sense into your wife?

35
00:01:09,151 --> 00:01:10,762
My learner's permit expires in a week,

36
00:01:10,786 --> 00:01:12,163
and if I don't get my license,

37
00:01:12,187 --> 00:01:14,799
you're gonna have to pay
$9 of your hard-earned money

38
00:01:14,823 --> 00:01:15,800
for me to renew it.

39
00:01:15,824 --> 00:01:18,470
A small price to pay to live.

40
00:01:18,494 --> 00:01:20,905
Look, Brick, we gave you
plenty of chances,

41
00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:22,774
but both your dad and I
don't feel comfortable

42
00:01:22,798 --> 00:01:24,009
letting you back on the road.

43
00:01:24,033 --> 00:01:25,143
So, in other words,

44
00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,811
you two think I'm such a terrible driver

45
00:01:26,835 --> 00:01:28,413
that if I even step foot in that car,

46
00:01:28,437 --> 00:01:31,049
I'll hurt myself, you guys,
and other innocent people?

47
00:01:31,073 --> 00:01:33,551
Actually, those are the perfect words.

48
00:01:33,575 --> 00:01:35,720
Good listening, buddy.

49
00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:43,361
Aah!

50
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:46,998
- Hi, Shelly.
- Sorry.

51
00:01:47,022 --> 00:01:48,933
I rang the doorbell, but nobody answered.

52
00:01:48,957 --> 00:01:51,136
That's okay. I am always happy
to see a Donahue...

53
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:54,072
I mean all Donahues in general,
not a specific Donahue.

54
00:01:54,096 --> 00:01:56,207
I love all Donahues equally,

55
00:01:56,231 --> 00:01:58,510
and so on and so forth and what have you.

56
00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,879
Um, I won this at your Yankee Swap party,

57
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:03,314
and I was wondering
if you had the box it came in.

58
00:02:03,338 --> 00:02:05,817
I'm gonna give it to my pen pal,
Juliette, in England.

59
00:02:05,841 --> 00:02:07,252
What? No!

60
00:02:07,276 --> 00:02:09,687
No, you can't send that to England.

61
00:02:09,711 --> 00:02:10,955
I don't know how to say this,

62
00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:13,625
but that snow globe
is really important to me,

63
00:02:13,649 --> 00:02:15,293
so if you're not gonna keep it,

64
00:02:15,317 --> 00:02:17,662
I would appreciate it
if you could give it back to me.

65
00:02:17,686 --> 00:02:20,031
- Of course, I'll give it back to you...
- Aww.

66
00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:22,767
...for an item of equal or greater value.

67
00:02:22,791 --> 00:02:25,703
Okay, I'm willing to make that trade,

68
00:02:25,727 --> 00:02:29,774
but I must warn you,
I am a very tough negotiator.

69
00:02:42,244 --> 00:02:44,089
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I startle you?

70
00:02:44,113 --> 00:02:46,791
Or should I say,
did my phone startle you?

71
00:02:46,815 --> 00:02:47,892
I found a whistle app.

72
00:02:47,916 --> 00:02:49,461
It's got Falling Off A Cliff...

73
00:02:51,487 --> 00:02:53,565
...the now-inappropriate
construction-worker catcall...

74
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,668
...and several fart noises.

75
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,371
Sorry. That last one was real.

76
00:03:00,395 --> 00:03:03,842
The point is, I no longer
need your little list.

77
00:03:07,069 --> 00:03:09,481
Hey, Mom. Can I pick your brain?

78
00:03:09,505 --> 00:03:11,416
Sure, but I don't know why you'd want to.

79
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,784
I just came in here from the kitchen,

80
00:03:12,808 --> 00:03:14,953
and I literally have no idea why.

81
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,889
Well, I was thinking of
giving this snow globe to Sean.

82
00:03:17,913 --> 00:03:19,057
You know, I thought it'd be cool

83
00:03:19,081 --> 00:03:21,392
because he always calls me
his special snowflake,

84
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:23,995
and, also

85
00:03:24,019 --> 00:03:27,065
I was thinking of telling him how I feel.

86
00:03:27,089 --> 00:03:28,967
- Really?
- Yeah.

87
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,268
Ever since we kissed,

88
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:32,971
I've been trying to find
the perfect moment,

89
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:36,174
but I feel like I just need
to lay it all on the line,

90
00:03:36,198 --> 00:03:37,942
and then whatever happens, happens.

91
00:03:37,966 --> 00:03:39,210
I totally agree.

92
00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:40,645
You know, everyone assumes that the guy

93
00:03:40,669 --> 00:03:42,180
should be the first one
to say how he feels,

94
00:03:42,204 --> 00:03:44,215
but the truth is, some guys
need a little push.

95
00:03:44,239 --> 00:03:46,184
Is that how it was with you and Dad?

96
00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:48,586
Well... not exactly.

97
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:51,022
Oh, so he didn't tell you
he loved you first?

98
00:03:51,046 --> 00:03:52,457
I'm not sure he's ever told me that,

99
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:54,826
but he definitely implied it
at our wedding.

100
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:55,927
Oh.

101
00:03:57,452 --> 00:03:59,030
What do all these shoes have in common?

102
00:03:59,054 --> 00:04:00,632
They stink?

103
00:04:00,656 --> 00:04:02,667
Wrong. Well, maybe.

104
00:04:02,691 --> 00:04:04,569
The correct answer is,
none of them have to be shined.

105
00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:05,537
Mic drop.

106
00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,794
Ooh. Shoe drop.

107
00:04:08,864 --> 00:04:10,842
Well, I am headed back to school.

108
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,777
Who knows? Next time you see me

109
00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:14,579
I might have some news.

110
00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:16,014
Get these shoes off my table,

111
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,415
or I'll make you drive with Brick.

112
00:04:19,474 --> 00:04:22,108
My car was stolen!

113
00:04:23,312 --> 00:04:25,223
It was right here last night.

114
00:04:25,247 --> 00:04:27,392
I loaded it up to go to school,
and now it's gone.

115
00:04:27,416 --> 00:04:28,893
- It's gone!
- Okay, calm down.

116
00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:30,495
Calm down?

117
00:04:30,519 --> 00:04:33,298
Thieves brazenly walked up the driveway,

118
00:04:33,322 --> 00:04:34,632
opened the car door,

119
00:04:34,656 --> 00:04:37,168
grabbed the keys from the dashboard,

120
00:04:37,192 --> 00:04:38,870
and stole my car!

121
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:40,238
Oh, my God. I can't believe it.

122
00:04:40,262 --> 00:04:41,739
Sue, I am so sorry.

123
00:04:41,763 --> 00:04:42,807
Excuse me, but I believe

124
00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:44,008
I'm the real victim in this crime.

125
00:04:44,032 --> 00:04:45,977
I was next in line
to get Aunt Edie's car.

126
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:47,111
Actually, I am.

127
00:04:47,135 --> 00:04:49,380
What are you talking about?
You already got a car.

128
00:04:49,404 --> 00:04:50,882
You wrecked it on spring break.

129
00:04:50,906 --> 00:04:53,151
True, but I'm the oldest,
so I just get back in line.

130
00:04:53,175 --> 00:04:54,786
That's not how it works.

131
00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,721
Can we please stop fighting
about who gets the car?

132
00:04:56,745 --> 00:04:58,223
It's my car, and it was stolen.

133
00:04:58,247 --> 00:04:59,424
Well, we gotta go to the police.

134
00:04:59,448 --> 00:05:00,825
I just want to remind you,

135
00:05:00,849 --> 00:05:02,794
the last time we reported a car stolen,

136
00:05:02,818 --> 00:05:04,095
it turned out you had just forgotten

137
00:05:04,119 --> 00:05:05,263
where you parked it.

138
00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:06,998
So before we get the police involved,

139
00:05:07,022 --> 00:05:09,334
I think Sue should think
about what she did yesterday

140
00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,903
and make sure you didn't leave it
somewhere other than our driveway.

141
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,238
I'll think about it,

142
00:05:13,262 --> 00:05:16,307
but I am positive it was
in the driveway last night.

143
00:05:16,331 --> 00:05:17,308
Great.

144
00:05:17,332 --> 00:05:18,309
If we don't get this car back,

145
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,677
I'm never gonna be able to drive.

146
00:05:19,701 --> 00:05:21,946
Don't try to put
a positive spin on it, Brick.

147
00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,081
It's just bad.

148
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,852
I couldn't believe in Orson, Indiana,

149
00:05:27,876 --> 00:05:29,687
something like this would happen.

150
00:05:29,711 --> 00:05:30,922
Who would do such a...

151
00:05:34,216 --> 00:05:35,593
Hey!

152
00:05:35,617 --> 00:05:36,694
Hey!

153
00:05:36,718 --> 00:05:40,064
Hey, that's my daughter's car!

154
00:05:40,088 --> 00:05:42,834
If it's your daughter's car,
how come I'm drivin' it?

155
00:05:42,858 --> 00:05:44,802
Uh, maybe 'cause you're a thief.

156
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:46,471
It's mine.

157
00:05:46,495 --> 00:05:48,840
My boys gave me this car as a gift

158
00:05:48,864 --> 00:05:50,241
for bein' a good mama.

159
00:05:50,265 --> 00:05:51,676
If it's your car, why do you have

160
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:53,711
an "I Heart Dolphins" key chain?

161
00:05:53,735 --> 00:05:55,613
'Cause I do heart dolphins.

162
00:05:55,637 --> 00:05:56,881
They're the clowns of the sea.

163
00:05:56,905 --> 00:05:58,283
Ooh.

164
00:05:58,307 --> 00:06:00,685
I know what you're tryin' to do.

165
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:04,122
You're tryin' to provoke me
into a physical "alterfication."

166
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,557
Well, I'm better than that.

167
00:06:06,581 --> 00:06:08,259
And I got two strikes.

168
00:06:08,283 --> 00:06:10,228
Look, Rita, I am not making this up.

169
00:06:10,252 --> 00:06:12,430
My Aunt Edie gave that car
to my daughter.

170
00:06:12,454 --> 00:06:15,566
Well, then, your Aunt Edie
can come get it back.

171
00:06:15,590 --> 00:06:17,201
She passed away.

172
00:06:17,225 --> 00:06:19,771
Oh, ain't that convenient?

173
00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:22,840
The only person who can
"corraborate" your story

174
00:06:22,864 --> 00:06:24,175
is dead?

175
00:06:24,199 --> 00:06:25,243
Ha!

176
00:06:25,267 --> 00:06:27,078
Come on, Rita. Do the right thing.

177
00:06:27,102 --> 00:06:29,213
Hate speech! Hate speech!

178
00:06:29,237 --> 00:06:31,349
She's hates me because I'm white!

179
00:06:31,373 --> 00:06:33,184
I'm white!

180
00:06:37,979 --> 00:06:39,924
You are not leaving in my car.

181
00:06:39,948 --> 00:06:42,260
That's right. I'm leaving in mine.

182
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:43,761
I was gonna go get Tang and cigarettes,

183
00:06:43,785 --> 00:06:45,852
but I guess my kids will just go hungry.

184
00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:48,399
Aah!

185
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:56,207
Glossners!

186
00:06:56,231 --> 00:06:57,308
- Glossners.
- What?

187
00:06:57,332 --> 00:06:58,643
The Glossners stole our car.

188
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:00,211
I said, "Rita, that's our car."

189
00:07:00,235 --> 00:07:01,646
And she was all, "You're just tryin'

190
00:07:01,670 --> 00:07:03,281
to provoke me into an alterfication."

191
00:07:03,305 --> 00:07:04,782
The Glossners stole our car?

192
00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:06,084
Yeah, can you believe it?

193
00:07:06,108 --> 00:07:07,719
Guess it's gone forever.

194
00:07:07,743 --> 00:07:09,454
What do you mean, "It's gone forever"?

195
00:07:09,478 --> 00:07:11,689
We're not talking about a rake
or a garden hose here, Frankie.

196
00:07:11,713 --> 00:07:13,024
We're talking about an automobile.

197
00:07:13,048 --> 00:07:14,859
That's a felony,
and we're going to the police.

198
00:07:14,883 --> 00:07:16,060
Come on, Mike.

199
00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:18,296
You know what happens when
you snitch on the Glossners.

200
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,164
They get you back a thousand times over.

201
00:07:20,188 --> 00:07:21,399
We're not going to the police.

202
00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:22,567
Going to the police for what?

203
00:07:22,591 --> 00:07:23,835
Glossners stole our car.

204
00:07:23,859 --> 00:07:25,103
What?! Ugh!

205
00:07:25,127 --> 00:07:27,171
Aw, well, I guess it's gone forever.

206
00:07:27,195 --> 00:07:28,940
What is the matter with you two?

207
00:07:28,964 --> 00:07:30,308
Mike, this is the Glossners.

208
00:07:30,332 --> 00:07:32,043
We can't poke the bear on this one.

209
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:34,479
The hell we can't.
The bear stole our car!

210
00:07:37,372 --> 00:07:39,817
So, did the car have
any distinguishing features?

211
00:07:39,841 --> 00:07:41,686
Well, there was a crack
on the windshield,

212
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:42,854
and there was a dream catcher

213
00:07:42,878 --> 00:07:44,389
hanging from the rearview mirror.

214
00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:45,356
Oh, do those work?

215
00:07:45,380 --> 00:07:46,557
Not in this family.

216
00:07:46,581 --> 00:07:48,659
The dreams come up,
then go right around it.

217
00:07:48,683 --> 00:07:51,329
Anything valuable inside the vehicle?

218
00:07:51,353 --> 00:07:53,264
Well, I was getting ready
to drive back to school,

219
00:07:53,288 --> 00:07:54,432
so there was my duffel,

220
00:07:54,456 --> 00:07:56,100
a Little Betty cupcake
in the middle console

221
00:07:56,124 --> 00:07:58,269
for the 42-minute drive, and...

222
00:07:58,293 --> 00:08:01,639
Oh, my God. My snow globe was in there.

223
00:08:01,663 --> 00:08:04,108
That means the Glossners
have my snow globe, too.

224
00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:05,799
The Glossners?

225
00:08:07,536 --> 00:08:08,946
Well, sorry, folks.

226
00:08:08,970 --> 00:08:10,848
I guess the car is gone forever.

227
00:08:10,872 --> 00:08:12,583
Why does everyone keep saying that?

228
00:08:12,607 --> 00:08:14,385
I don't like to deal with the Glossners.

229
00:08:14,409 --> 00:08:15,553
They're criminals.

230
00:08:15,577 --> 00:08:17,422
You're supposed to deal with criminals.

231
00:08:17,446 --> 00:08:19,157
That's your exact job description.

232
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,925
Now it's the next guy's job description.

233
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:22,660
I'm retiring in four days.

234
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:26,397
Look, my backyard butts
right up against the Glossners,

235
00:08:26,421 --> 00:08:28,733
and I just resodded my lawn.

236
00:08:28,757 --> 00:08:30,902
What is happening here?

237
00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:32,970
Am I supposed to just
forget about my car?

238
00:08:32,994 --> 00:08:35,373
Ah, the Glossners get tired of stuff.

239
00:08:35,397 --> 00:08:36,808
You'll probably find your car

240
00:08:36,832 --> 00:08:38,810
on the side of the road
in a couple of months.

241
00:08:38,834 --> 00:08:40,311
Trust me, you don't wanna

242
00:08:40,335 --> 00:08:42,180
poke the bees' nest on this one.

243
00:08:42,204 --> 00:08:43,347
That's exactly what I said,

244
00:08:43,371 --> 00:08:45,183
but I used "bear" instead of "bees."

245
00:08:45,207 --> 00:08:46,651
They're not bees, and they're not bears.

246
00:08:46,675 --> 00:08:48,886
They're felons,
and they stole my damn car.

247
00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:50,621
Huh.

248
00:08:52,113 --> 00:08:54,892
I can't believe the cops
aren't gonna do anything!

249
00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:56,394
One time, I accidentally

250
00:08:56,418 --> 00:08:58,563
walked out of the Orson Bowl
in bowling shoes.

251
00:08:58,587 --> 00:09:00,064
They sent both squad cars.

252
00:09:00,088 --> 00:09:01,799
Well, the Glossners are above the law.

253
00:09:01,823 --> 00:09:03,267
I mean, think of all the things

254
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,635
they've done to us over the years.

255
00:09:04,659 --> 00:09:05,970
They blew up our mailbox.

256
00:09:05,994 --> 00:09:07,171
They peanut-buttered our mailbox.

257
00:09:07,195 --> 00:09:08,706
They dog-doo'd our mailbox.

258
00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:11,108
- What is their deal with our mailbox?
- Ugh.

259
00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:12,743
When I had my fifth-grade camping party,

260
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:14,045
they skunked our tent.

261
00:09:14,069 --> 00:09:16,514
What kind of people just have
a skunk lying around,

262
00:09:16,538 --> 00:09:19,016
waiting to terrorize little girls?

263
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:21,185
The same people who drew boobs
on our garage.

264
00:09:21,209 --> 00:09:23,154
How about the time they wrote
"nerd" on the side of the house

265
00:09:23,178 --> 00:09:25,056
with an arrow pointing to my bedroom?

266
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,324
Actually, that was me.

267
00:09:27,282 --> 00:09:28,726
You know, as long as the Glossners

268
00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:30,695
live in that house,
this is gonna be our lives.

269
00:09:30,719 --> 00:09:31,929
This is how it's gonna be forever.

270
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:34,832
It doesn't have to be.

271
00:09:34,856 --> 00:09:36,968
Dad, we went to the Orson Police.

272
00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:38,936
You can't go any higher than that.

273
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,342
I'm goin' over to the Glossners.

274
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:46,010
You're gonna take our car back?

275
00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:47,645
I'm gonna do more than that.

276
00:09:47,669 --> 00:09:49,680
I'm gonna take our neighborhood back.

277
00:09:49,704 --> 00:09:51,282
Who's with me?

278
00:09:51,306 --> 00:09:53,351
I'm in.

279
00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:54,785
I'm in.

280
00:09:54,809 --> 00:09:56,053
I'm in.

281
00:09:58,280 --> 00:09:59,557
I know, from a dramatic standpoint,

282
00:09:59,581 --> 00:10:00,791
I'm supposed to say "I'm in,"

283
00:10:00,815 --> 00:10:02,282
but I'm not really sure
what I can contribute.

284
00:10:04,686 --> 00:10:06,330
Fine. I'm in.

285
00:10:13,762 --> 00:10:15,862
Let's do this.

286
00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,595
Rita!

287
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,065
We're here to take our car back!

288
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,334
You can make this easy,
or you can make it hard!

289
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,169
You know what to do boys!

290
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,879
It's an ambush!

291
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,584
Oh, my God! What the...

292
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:43,386
Retreat! Retreat!

293
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:44,387
Aah!

294
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,788
Diaper.

295
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:48,725
Ow! Hey!

296
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,427
Frankie, I need one
of your emergency cookies.

297
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,662
I don't have any!

298
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,629
I know you do!

299
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:00,069
Hey, little kid, looky.

300
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,271
Cookie. Here you go!

301
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,173
Yum, yum, yum.

302
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:10,713
What the hell happened?

303
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,648
I'll tell you what happened...
we got our butts kicked.

304
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,050
That's what happened.

305
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,619
Hey. Where have you been?

306
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,755
It occurred to me
that in most action movies,

307
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,556
there's a tech guy who hangs back

308
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,824
and does his "tech thing."

309
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,626
He's usually played
by a young Jonah Hill-type.

310
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,528
We almost got killed out there, Brick!

311
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,430
They wrapped me up in a volleyball net.

312
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,898
Hey, this is ours.

313
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,033
Okay, look, it's clear

314
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,701
the Glossners aren't gonna
go down without a fight,

315
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,003
so we gotta rethink our strategy
and get that car back.

316
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,471
Do we, though?

317
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,173
I mean, we did get
our volleyball net back.

318
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,475
I'm with Axl. I say we
call it a win and go home.

319
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,543
No!

320
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:41,878
We're always the people
who give it our half.

321
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,379
This time, we're gonna give it our all.

322
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,649
Yeah, I'm with Dad. "Wonder
Woman" just came out on Redbox,

323
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,418
and if I took one thing
away from that movie,

324
00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:50,186
it's that women can kick butt.

325
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,753
How about you get through
the door at Curves

326
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:53,489
without being winded and then we'll talk?

327
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,891
I say we call a family vote.

328
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,526
All in favor of leaving with our health

329
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,594
and what's left of our dignity say "aye."

330
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,595
Aye. Aye.

331
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,226
- All opposed?
- Nay. Nay.

332
00:12:01,250 --> 00:12:03,099
Ha! It's a tie.

333
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,468
Wait. How can it be a tie?
Did we not count Brick?

334
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,303
I'm standing right here with my hand up.

335
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,739
They have Sue.

336
00:12:16,873 --> 00:12:18,092
We have to get Sue.

337
00:12:18,117 --> 00:12:19,461
I don't wanna seem insensitive,

338
00:12:19,485 --> 00:12:22,454
but I was under the impression
we were here to get my car.

339
00:12:22,494 --> 00:12:23,574
My car.

340
00:12:23,598 --> 00:12:25,221
- You're not getting away with this.
- I told you I'm the oldest!

341
00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:26,480
- It's my car and...
- Come on!

342
00:12:26,504 --> 00:12:28,579
Hey, we're gonna get the car and Sue.

343
00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:30,248
Axl, you and I are gonna storm the house.

344
00:12:30,272 --> 00:12:31,449
Brick, you act as a lookout

345
00:12:31,473 --> 00:12:32,884
while your mom sneaks into the garage

346
00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:34,218
to see if the car is there.

347
00:12:34,242 --> 00:12:35,219
Okay.

348
00:12:38,947 --> 00:12:41,325
They have us outnumbered.
It's a suicide mission.

349
00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:46,197
They used to have us outnumbered.

350
00:13:01,069 --> 00:13:03,014
We're here to kick some butt.

351
00:13:03,038 --> 00:13:04,482
And I made deviled eggs.

352
00:13:04,506 --> 00:13:06,551
Fighting Glossners makes me hungry.

353
00:13:06,575 --> 00:13:07,919
I tried to get Paula in on this,

354
00:13:07,943 --> 00:13:09,654
but she's on a date with some guy.

355
00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:11,489
Talk about getting blindsided.

356
00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:12,757
Not the time, Bill.

357
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,158
All right. Here we go.

358
00:13:14,182 --> 00:13:17,128
3, 2, 1.

359
00:13:36,504 --> 00:13:37,448
Aah-ha-ha!

360
00:13:37,472 --> 00:13:38,816
Aah!

361
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:41,319
Hey, this is ours, too. Oh, God. Aah!

362
00:13:41,343 --> 00:13:43,821
I am taking you boys home,
cooking you a good meal,

363
00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:46,090
making you watch
"Little House on the Prairie,"

364
00:13:46,114 --> 00:13:48,448
and getting you to bed at a decent hour!

365
00:13:49,818 --> 00:13:54,232
There's Glossners at 2:00, 6:00, 10:00.

366
00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:55,967
Glossners at all o'clocks!

367
00:13:59,861 --> 00:14:01,038
Ow! Hey!

368
00:14:01,062 --> 00:14:03,140
That was my non-bruised leg!

369
00:14:03,164 --> 00:14:05,877
Now you've made me mad!

370
00:14:05,901 --> 00:14:09,235
Aaaaaaaah!

371
00:14:14,142 --> 00:14:15,319
Step aside.

372
00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,721
I got an app on my phone for that.

373
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:17,722
Really?

374
00:14:17,746 --> 00:14:19,056
No.

375
00:14:24,552 --> 00:14:26,297
Mike! Help!

376
00:14:26,321 --> 00:14:28,599
Please don't hurt me. I'm a single dad.

377
00:14:28,623 --> 00:14:31,002
What are you lookin' at, ya woman?

378
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:32,036
Hey.

379
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:33,671
That's not cool, man. Aah!

380
00:14:44,606 --> 00:14:46,651
Ow! Stupid hip.

381
00:15:03,992 --> 00:15:05,169
Rita, please...

382
00:15:05,193 --> 00:15:07,738
Don't you "Rita, please" me.

383
00:15:07,762 --> 00:15:09,240
How dare you come onto my property

384
00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:10,508
and threaten my family?

385
00:15:10,532 --> 00:15:12,610
I could disappear you right now.

386
00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:14,312
Remember, you have two strikes.

387
00:15:14,336 --> 00:15:15,980
No alterfications.

388
00:15:16,004 --> 00:15:17,648
- Are you makin' fun of me?
- No. No, ma'am.

389
00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:18,816
I am not. I would never do that.

390
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,951
Okay, I... Look.

391
00:15:19,975 --> 00:15:22,119
I-I know you're mad, and I get it.

392
00:15:22,143 --> 00:15:23,287
But think about it, think about it.

393
00:15:23,311 --> 00:15:25,356
We're both moms, right?

394
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:28,492
W-We need a mom revolution
and... and... and love.

395
00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,728
Love is the only way to start that.

396
00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:33,230
Love, sweet love.

397
00:15:33,254 --> 00:15:37,635
What the world needs now
is love, sweet love.

398
00:15:38,727 --> 00:15:40,237
Oh, thank God.

399
00:15:40,261 --> 00:15:41,505
Thank you so much, Rita.

400
00:15:41,529 --> 00:15:42,940
I knew that you'd see it.

401
00:15:42,964 --> 00:15:43,741
See this.

402
00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:46,110
Aah!

403
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,481
Aah!

404
00:15:50,505 --> 00:15:52,483
Aaah!

405
00:15:57,812 --> 00:16:01,258
We are not doing well at all.

406
00:16:05,053 --> 00:16:07,565
That's Cindy's backup safari hat!

407
00:16:07,589 --> 00:16:09,600
Those monsters!

408
00:16:14,396 --> 00:16:16,974
Axl?! Oh, thank God.

409
00:16:16,998 --> 00:16:18,909
But the door was locked from both sides.

410
00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:21,345
I know. I had to kick it in.

411
00:16:21,369 --> 00:16:23,547
Wait.

412
00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:26,050
I think the keys to my car
are in Rita's purse.

413
00:16:29,911 --> 00:16:31,789
Ah, yes!

414
00:16:45,709 --> 00:16:46,586
Dad!

415
00:17:03,994 --> 00:17:06,039
Hey! I caught 'em!

416
00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:07,273
Get the car!

417
00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:08,241
Really?

418
00:17:08,265 --> 00:17:10,009
You guys want me to drive?

419
00:17:10,033 --> 00:17:11,177
You guys trust me?!

420
00:17:11,201 --> 00:17:12,011
Go!

421
00:17:12,035 --> 00:17:13,680
I won't let you down!

422
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:15,718
And I just wanna say that
it really means a lot!

423
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:17,486
Just go!

424
00:17:39,899 --> 00:17:41,844
Drive!

425
00:17:43,436 --> 00:17:45,514
Go faster!

426
00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:48,884
I'm gonna prove to you
I could be a cautious driver!

427
00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,453
Look, not now, Brick!

428
00:17:50,477 --> 00:17:52,555
Now we want you to drive fast!

429
00:17:52,579 --> 00:17:54,256
I won't!

430
00:17:58,518 --> 00:18:00,429
Where ya goin' with my snow globe?

431
00:18:00,453 --> 00:18:04,000
Actually, I'm pretty sure
it's my snow globe.

432
00:18:04,024 --> 00:18:06,402
You remember the promise I made to you?

433
00:18:06,426 --> 00:18:10,139
Mm, I hope it was to give me
my snow globe and car back

434
00:18:10,163 --> 00:18:12,041
and let me go home.

435
00:18:12,065 --> 00:18:13,509
I promised to better myself for you,

436
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,511
so I got a job at a tattoo parlor.

437
00:18:15,535 --> 00:18:17,446
My first paycheck was 50 bucks.

438
00:18:17,470 --> 00:18:20,416
After beer and cigarettes,
I got 18 bucks left over.

439
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,652
I figure that's enough for us
to start a life together.

440
00:18:22,676 --> 00:18:26,922
Oh, that is... very flattering,

441
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,125
but I-I kind of like someone else now.

442
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,793
That's actually why
I need the snow globe,

443
00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:32,662
to give it to the guy I like.

444
00:18:32,686 --> 00:18:33,663
You cheatin' on me?

445
00:18:33,687 --> 00:18:35,464
No! No, no, please! Derrick...

446
00:18:35,488 --> 00:18:36,866
Derrick, don't you see?

447
00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,934
You did better yourself,
but you didn't do it for me.

448
00:18:38,958 --> 00:18:40,336
You did it for you.

449
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:42,638
Now it's time to prove
that you're a better man

450
00:18:42,662 --> 00:18:45,207
by giving me that snow globe
and letting me go.

451
00:18:45,231 --> 00:18:46,308
Yeah.

452
00:18:46,332 --> 00:18:47,777
You're right.

453
00:18:47,801 --> 00:18:49,645
This should go to the man you love.

454
00:18:49,669 --> 00:18:51,080
- Over my dead body.
- Aah!

455
00:18:51,104 --> 00:18:52,415
No. No, no, no.

456
00:18:52,439 --> 00:18:53,482
No!

457
00:19:21,301 --> 00:19:24,046
Thank you for taking down
those terrible Glossners.

458
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:25,715
You're very brave.

459
00:19:25,739 --> 00:19:27,116
Really?

460
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:28,484
Thank you.

461
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:29,919
I feel a lot safer...

462
00:19:29,943 --> 00:19:31,787
especially being a single woman

463
00:19:31,811 --> 00:19:33,656
who just moved into the neighborhood.

464
00:19:37,117 --> 00:19:38,461
I'm Bill.

465
00:19:38,485 --> 00:19:40,084
Hi. Hi.

466
00:19:41,521 --> 00:19:43,199
Nice job, Dad.

467
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,634
Pretty badass for an old guy.

468
00:19:45,658 --> 00:19:47,970
Any time you want me to
write down that list for you,

469
00:19:47,994 --> 00:19:48,904
just let me know.

470
00:19:48,928 --> 00:19:50,139
I think I'm all right.

471
00:19:54,033 --> 00:19:57,279
Okay, that I got to learn.

472
00:19:59,639 --> 00:20:01,450
Got my snow globe back.

473
00:20:01,474 --> 00:20:05,020
You got your neighborhood back.

474
00:20:05,044 --> 00:20:06,655
Hey, thank you, Sheriff Dugan.

475
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:09,125
Eh, I didn't need a good lawn anyway.

476
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,899
Yep, after a 20-year reign of terror,

477
00:20:16,923 --> 00:20:19,735
we finally got our neighborhood back.

478
00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,570
A bunch of Glossners
got locked up in juvie,

479
00:20:21,594 --> 00:20:25,241
and the truant officer made
two of 'em go back to school.

480
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,509
And a funny thing happened

481
00:20:26,533 --> 00:20:29,245
once there were less kids in the house.

482
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:33,582
Rita actually became
a little more... human.

483
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:37,653
Flowers look great, Rita.

484
00:20:37,677 --> 00:20:39,455
Thanks, neighbor.

485
00:20:39,479 --> 00:20:41,857
And I didn't even steal these
from a cemetery.

486
00:20:41,881 --> 00:20:44,527
I'll put some in a beer can
and bring 'em over later.

487
00:20:49,222 --> 00:20:51,367
Let's face it... It's the kids' fault.

488
00:20:51,391 --> 00:20:53,769
It's the kids that make you crabby.

489
00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:56,794
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
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