1
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"Hot Streets"...

2
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J.A.S.O.N., scan substance.

3
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Scanning... Eiphola powder,
native to Snake Island,

4
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:11,749
toxic and hallucinogenic,
street name ... "murder powder."

5
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Murder powder?

6
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:15,949
Oh!

7
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- Chubbie Webbers!
- Poot toom en speckulo

8
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puer naetus
est teegris in perickulo.

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-- Addic7ed.com --

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1x02 - Snake Island

11
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Assistant Director Soo Park
wants to see us.

12
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I hope it's a meeting about
me getting an office.

13
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I already had a meeting about
you getting an office.

14
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- You didn't get one.
- Darn!

15
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Listen.
How about we share my office?

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- You can sit on my lap.
- You mean it?

17
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Ooh!
Still, it's not the same.

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Gentlemen,
I'm sure by now you've noticed

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the huge rift in the sky
with the terrifying face of

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a Snake God peering through.

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- Yes.
- No.

22
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We believe the cult,

23
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the 1st Church
of the Serpentine Temple

24
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are opening the rift
using murder powder.

25
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Branski, I sent you a package
to your home

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with a sample of the powder.

27
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I never received such a package.

28
00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,480
We need you
to infiltrate their base.

29
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How come you didn't
send me the powder?

30
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I have a master's in chemistry.

31
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- I could examine the ...
- This artifact will aid your mission.

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- It controls snakes, all snakes.
- Oh, I'll take that.

33
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After all, I did minor
in serpentology and ...

34
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You're not ready for this level
of responsibility, French.

35
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Branski has the seniority
and the temperament for this.

36
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Hey, French, check it out.
He's giving me snake kissies.

37
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I want snake kissies.

38
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You don't have the temperament
to kiss snakes.

39
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I agree.

40
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Go to Snake Island
and close that rift at all costs,

41
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or the Snake God
will come and kill us all.

42
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Oh!

43
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- Murder powder?
- Oh.

44
00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:16,430
He wants
more murder powder.

45
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- Who's my little drug addict?
- Me.

46
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Oh, sorry.
We're all out.

47
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I need that murder powder.

48
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,500
According to J.A.S.O.N.,
we're almost there.

49
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:30,210
You know, I've been thinking
about what Soo Park said

50
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- regarding responsibility.
- That you're not ready for it?

51
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I couldn't agree more.

52
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Come on.
Let me hold the medallion.

53
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Something's disrupting my signal.

54
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The engines are out.

55
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We're gonna crash!

56
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It's okay. I have a plan.

57
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- My plan worked.
- Yes, it sure did.

58
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Welcome to Snake Island.

59
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Well, look what we got here.

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Halt, harbingers of evil.

61
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It's French time.

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I minored in serpentology.

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Lower your arms.
These are friends.

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I'm Reverend Green.
I'm sorry about all this.

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My followers are wary of newcomers.

66
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You are obviously a very
important person.

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- Yes, I am. I'm ...
- Not you.

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You, the Chosen One.

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It is said that
he who controls snakes

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will expedite the arrival
of the Great Snake God.

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- That is you.
- Me, French!

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- They chose me.
- With your magnificent powers,

73
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God will join us
weeks ahead of schedule.

74
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What happens when god arrives?

75
00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,570
The Great Snake God's presence
will usher in

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1,000 years of peace and happiness.
Yesterday, I shed my arms

77
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to become more snake-like
to honor his homecoming.

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- Your nubs look infected.
- They are.

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We will have a feast
in French's honor!

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I'm not one to waste good meat,
so we shall dine on my arms.

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Come.
The banquet area is...

82
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- ...this way.
- You hear that, Branski?

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A feast in my honor!
That's respect I can eat.

84
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Jen, here's the plan.

85
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I'm gonna eat that guy's arm.
Then, we kill their god.

86
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You stay here
and fix that helicopter.

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Chubbie, I'm gonna
investigate that temple.

88
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- You fix the helicopter.
- Mur... Murder powder?

89
00:04:46,580 --> 00:04:49,440
Murder powder is for doggies
who fix helicopters.

90
00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:00,790
J.A.S.O.N., analyze these glyphs.

91
00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:02,189
Activating sequence.

92
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Let me say a prayer.

93
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Oh, Snake Lord,
we are nothing but sinful field mice

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digesting in your long, green belly.

95
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May our guts pass through
peacefully.

96
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,579
- Amen.
- Amen to that!

97
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Mmm. Mmm.

98
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,650
They say the fingers
are the oyster of the arm.

99
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Agent Branski?

100
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I've tasted better arms.

101
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Hey, Branski, check out my hair!

102
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- Well, look at that.
- And look, Branski, snake kissies.

103
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Ooh.

104
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That I don't like.

105
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:48,140
So when is this Great
Snake God gonna show up?

106
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With the aid of the Chosen One, tonight!

107
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:53,440
In fact, if you'll excuse me,
I need to prepare for his arrival.

108
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Please stay here and make
yourselves comfortable.

109
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Snake peace is within our grasp!

110
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All right, now is our time
to kill their god.

111
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:05,720
What?
But you heard the Reverend!

112
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The Snake God is peaceful.

113
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The only true God is Jesus Christ.

114
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Give me that medallion
so I can go to the temple

115
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and push that big snake
back into its space vagina.

116
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Wait a minute!
You always get to do the good stuff.

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You get the powder,
the medallion, the office,

118
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and now you want to be
the hero, too?

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- Why can't I do it?
- French, stick to the plan.

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- Give me the medallion and I'll go up ...
- Hm,

121
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I'm sorry,
but I have my own plan.

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If I can control snakes,
then I can control god!

123
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And with his powers,

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I'll be able to solve all
the Hot Streets cases.

125
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Then Assistant Director Soo Park

126
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will be forced to give me respect
and the office I deserve!

127
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French is evil now.

128
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,440
Huh. Look at all
the murder powder!

129
00:06:57,470 --> 00:06:59,370
Chubbie would love this.

130
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The Snake Cult
uses murder powder

131
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to communicate with their god.

132
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It created the interdimensional rift.

133
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We can use this stuff
to close the rift!

134
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I can't wait to rid myself

135
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of this disgusting, horrible body.

136
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Yes, we will all soon
shed our bodies,

137
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including your particularly
terrible one,

138
00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,730
when God comes
and destroys our reality!

139
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It will be wonderful.

140
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Got to stop French, but how?

141
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Hey, snakes, want to be friends?

142
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No?

143
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That's the thing about snakes.
They don't have bones.

144
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,449
I've got to warn Uncle Mark!

145
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All the murder powder?

146
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:52,660
That dog ate my murder powder!

147
00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:58,870
Yeah, burn them!

148
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,100
Chubbie, you're the key
to closing that rift.

149
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Let's go.

150
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:10,380
French, this isn't you.
Give me the medallion!

151
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:14,220
I'm sorry, Branski.
Snake Frenchies.

152
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,760
It's like fighting spaghetti ...
no bones.

153
00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:32,400
French, look at this.
It's the end of our existence!

154
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:37,270
- What have you done?
- I... I-I just wanted an office.

155
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:41,740
- There are no more offices!
- What have I done?

156
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Oh, he is real.

157
00:09:02,030 --> 00:09:06,470
Snake God, forgive me.
I was covetous, undeserving.

158
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Illuminate me.
You are my god.

159
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This is the only God I know.

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- No!
- Oh!

161
00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:18,280
- Oh, God!
- Aah!

162
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:32,499
Oh, thank you!

163
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Oh! Ho! Ho! Oh!

164
00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:39,130
I've been at this for 21 years,
but this ...

165
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it stirs and struggles in my mind,

166
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:45,670
a lot of complicated emotions.

167
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:50,680
Well, you did kill a Snake God.
My god.

168
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:55,350
It's just that I didn't
think snakes had bones,

169
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- but they do.
- You broke God's neck.

170
00:09:59,090 --> 00:10:02,260
Snakes have bones.

171
00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:04,160
What a world.

172
00:10:06,058 --> 00:10:09,944
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