1 00:00:00,305 --> 00:00:01,938 - Ok. How about here? - No. 2 00:00:02,007 --> 00:00:03,940 - And this one? - Uh-uh. 3 00:00:04,009 --> 00:00:06,875 And this... Oh, yep. Okay. 4 00:00:06,930 --> 00:00:10,799 Yeah. You have a serious abscess on tooth number 18. 5 00:00:10,868 --> 00:00:13,635 How long has it been since you last saw the dentist? 6 00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:16,805 - Um... four. - Months? 7 00:00:18,041 --> 00:00:19,174 Years? 8 00:00:19,175 --> 00:00:20,574 It's hard to find the time. 9 00:00:20,642 --> 00:00:22,575 My job schedule is so unpredictable. 10 00:00:22,677 --> 00:00:24,443 But my tooth has been killing me lately, 11 00:00:24,512 --> 00:00:26,112 so my friend referred me here. 12 00:00:26,247 --> 00:00:27,246 Really? 13 00:00:27,315 --> 00:00:28,645 Your friend referred you here? 14 00:00:30,350 --> 00:00:32,696 Well, she said you have great lollipops. 15 00:00:32,697 --> 00:00:35,794 You are in luck. You've got the best dentist in our practice. 16 00:00:35,819 --> 00:00:38,489 He's brilliant and gentle and handsome. 17 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,574 God, what I would give to have him in my mouth. 18 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,298 Oh... weird. That looks like a young... 19 00:00:51,359 --> 00:00:52,491 Ronnie! 20 00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:54,680 Nope. 21 00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:57,724 Jackpot Airlines. 22 00:00:57,792 --> 00:00:59,592 Northeast-bound to Las Vegas. 23 00:01:04,032 --> 00:01:06,165 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 24 00:01:10,171 --> 00:01:11,461 Cheers! 25 00:01:12,190 --> 00:01:13,456 It's Ronnie! 26 00:01:13,525 --> 00:01:15,224 What happened the other day? 27 00:01:15,293 --> 00:01:16,726 Why did you run out on me? 28 00:01:16,795 --> 00:01:18,895 I'm sorry, Artem. I was in shock. 29 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:21,898 I had no idea that when you're not gambling, you're a dentist. 30 00:01:21,966 --> 00:01:24,400 I just assumed you were a guy who sold weird fruit 31 00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:26,235 out the back of a tire store. 32 00:01:26,304 --> 00:01:28,673 I'm sorry. Uh, did you say Artem is a dentist? 33 00:01:28,674 --> 00:01:30,516 Yeah, pediatric dentist. 34 00:01:30,541 --> 00:01:31,607 Here's my card. 35 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:32,942 Oh, the doll's head is there 36 00:01:33,044 --> 00:01:35,645 so you remember I'm good with kids. 37 00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:38,114 Well, this will be hard to ever, ever forget. 38 00:01:38,183 --> 00:01:39,916 So when are you gonna reschedule? 39 00:01:39,984 --> 00:01:41,217 No need. It's all fixed now. 40 00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:42,318 Laughter and prayer. 41 00:01:42,387 --> 00:01:43,586 It turns out, that's all you need. 42 00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:45,454 Well, that's good it's better, 43 00:01:45,523 --> 00:01:48,224 because if you still had that abscess, 44 00:01:48,293 --> 00:01:51,761 flying now would be excruciating. 45 00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:53,262 Uh... okay. 46 00:01:53,331 --> 00:01:55,097 E-Excruciating how? 47 00:01:55,166 --> 00:01:56,666 I'm asking for a friend. 48 00:01:56,768 --> 00:02:00,736 At higher altitudes, trapped air in tooth expands 49 00:02:00,805 --> 00:02:04,106 against the nerve, causing unbearable pain. 50 00:02:04,175 --> 00:02:06,425 And I don't know why I'm telling you. 51 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,477 I should be telling this to your friend. 52 00:02:10,743 --> 00:02:12,148 Are you this friend? 53 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,019 Damn it, you're fast. 54 00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:18,688 I was captain of my high school hand-slap team. 55 00:02:18,756 --> 00:02:19,856 No big deal. 56 00:02:19,924 --> 00:02:21,858 No, Alan, that is a big deal. 57 00:02:21,926 --> 00:02:23,860 I'm tired of you selling yourself short. 58 00:02:26,197 --> 00:02:28,698 Hey. I had an idea. 59 00:02:28,766 --> 00:02:31,801 This flight, why don't we keep our altitude, say, 60 00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:33,336 below 10,000 feet? 61 00:02:33,371 --> 00:02:35,738 Sorry, Ronnie. I don't tell this old girl how high to fly. 62 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:36,939 She tells me. 63 00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:38,307 That's not how it works at all. 64 00:02:38,376 --> 00:02:40,309 Alan, what did Dr. Becker say 65 00:02:40,378 --> 00:02:42,478 about contradicting me in front of other people? 66 00:02:42,781 --> 00:02:43,980 It's like, why do we go to therapy 67 00:02:44,048 --> 00:02:45,514 if you're not even gonna try? 68 00:02:52,557 --> 00:02:53,689 Beverage? 69 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:55,992 Hello, Bernard. 70 00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,727 Captain Steve. 71 00:02:58,238 --> 00:02:59,271 - Ow! - _ 72 00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:02,331 Ah, what is your face made of? 73 00:03:02,627 --> 00:03:05,968 No, it's just "Steve" now, ever since I got suspended 74 00:03:06,037 --> 00:03:07,503 for punching Captain Dave. 75 00:03:07,572 --> 00:03:08,671 I lost everything that day. 76 00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:11,807 My wife, my Miata, my mustache. 77 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,175 I didn't deserve it anymore, 78 00:03:13,244 --> 00:03:14,810 so I shaved it off and buried it in the backyard. 79 00:03:14,913 --> 00:03:16,012 Next to my dad. 80 00:03:16,037 --> 00:03:17,636 Oh, I'm sorry for your losses. 81 00:03:17,899 --> 00:03:19,348 So what are you doing here? 82 00:03:19,417 --> 00:03:21,651 I'm going to Jackpot HQ to meet with the review board 83 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:23,819 about getting reinstated so I can get the life back 84 00:03:23,888 --> 00:03:25,354 that you all took from me. 85 00:03:25,393 --> 00:03:26,960 Well, we know you have a choice of airlines 86 00:03:26,985 --> 00:03:28,684 when traveling to this or that disciplinary hearing, 87 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,801 so we thank you for choosing Jackpot. 88 00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,933 Hey, that's weird. Uh, what are you doing? 89 00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:39,902 Uh... I-I'm scanning my tooth on the WebMD app. 90 00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:42,038 You're supposed to get an instant diagnosis. 91 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,701 And my tooth has... Lou Gehrig's disease. 92 00:03:45,763 --> 00:03:48,130 Would it not be easier just to go to the dentist 93 00:03:48,198 --> 00:03:49,197 every six months? 94 00:03:49,266 --> 00:03:51,132 What am I, the Queen of England? 95 00:03:51,234 --> 00:03:54,135 Every time I try to do something for myself, something comes up. 96 00:03:54,237 --> 00:03:55,770 Like, I have to work an extra turn 97 00:03:55,839 --> 00:03:57,589 or cover for a sick flight attendant. 98 00:03:57,755 --> 00:03:59,055 Nichole gets it. 99 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,613 We're both active professionals on the go. 100 00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,315 We don't have time for the dentist. 101 00:04:02,384 --> 00:04:04,384 Oh, no. I go to the dentist every three months. 102 00:04:04,486 --> 00:04:05,852 Teeth are very important to strippers. 103 00:04:05,921 --> 00:04:07,707 It's the first thing customers notice. 104 00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:09,489 No. Breasts. 105 00:04:09,557 --> 00:04:10,746 It's breasts. 106 00:04:10,747 --> 00:04:12,145 Ronnie, we have a problem. 107 00:04:12,213 --> 00:04:14,213 Captain Steve is on the flight, and he's very bitter. 108 00:04:14,238 --> 00:04:16,550 And not adorably bitter like a late-in-life Lena Horne. 109 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:18,806 Scary bitter like a late-in-life Bette Davis. 110 00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:21,208 Love a reference from this century once in a while. 111 00:04:21,277 --> 00:04:22,309 Hamilton. 112 00:04:22,378 --> 00:04:23,978 This is not good. The last time 113 00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,780 Captain Steve and Captain Dave were on a flight together, 114 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:26,981 it did not end well. 115 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,549 We can't let them anywhere near each other. 116 00:04:28,618 --> 00:04:29,884 "We"? I've already done my part. 117 00:04:29,952 --> 00:04:31,285 I identified the problem, 118 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,653 deflected it with a withering bon mot, 119 00:04:32,722 --> 00:04:33,988 then kicked it over to you. 120 00:04:34,639 --> 00:04:37,491 O-Okay, just don't let Dave anywhere near the cabin. 121 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:38,793 I'll try, but... 122 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:39,994 Oh, I'm sorry. 123 00:04:40,063 --> 00:04:42,541 This just feels so good right now. 124 00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:47,646 Hey there, passengers. 125 00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:50,071 If you find yourself in Vegas on a Friday night, 126 00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:53,734 why not celebrate the Sabbath the way Captain Dave does? 127 00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:57,174 Praying the night away at Temple Beth Vegas, 128 00:04:57,309 --> 00:04:59,743 where you'll find the best all-you-can-eat Oneg, 129 00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:03,131 and the loosest slots this side of Haifa. 130 00:05:04,023 --> 00:05:05,569 I'm gonna go do my rounds. 131 00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:07,359 Kiss some hands and shake some babies. 132 00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:11,006 Oh, hey, Bernie. 133 00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:11,976 Hey. 134 00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:14,148 What...? 135 00:05:15,012 --> 00:05:16,511 Can I, uh... get through? 136 00:05:16,613 --> 00:05:19,314 Um... you know what I just realized? 137 00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:21,349 You never told me what it was like going vegan. 138 00:05:21,418 --> 00:05:23,985 Oh, I am so glad you asked. 139 00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:26,643 You see, Bern, if you stretch 140 00:05:26,768 --> 00:05:28,213 the human digestive tract 141 00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:30,959 and lay it next to that of a true omnivore, 142 00:05:31,028 --> 00:05:34,029 like a grizzly bear, there's only one conclusion: 143 00:05:34,396 --> 00:05:36,061 we're herbivores, my friend. 144 00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:38,967 Can I get through? 145 00:05:39,036 --> 00:05:41,302 Sorry, we're going to be doing beverage service indefinitely. 146 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:44,506 Why don't you sit down and go back to your... Doobie Brothers, 147 00:05:44,574 --> 00:05:45,673 or whatever? 148 00:05:45,742 --> 00:05:47,008 Doobie Brothers? Please. 149 00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,010 This Discman only plays Seger. 150 00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:52,081 Mainly 'cause it's been stuck closed since 2004. 151 00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,182 Excuse me, miss. 152 00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:55,592 Could I get a diet soda? 153 00:05:56,009 --> 00:05:57,036 Uh-huh. 154 00:06:01,022 --> 00:06:02,443 This is all foam. 155 00:06:07,064 --> 00:06:09,747 Okay, you know what? 156 00:06:09,771 --> 00:06:11,437 Why don't you just take the can? 157 00:06:11,461 --> 00:06:13,704 Beverage service today is if you're thirsty. 158 00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,728 We should have talked about that at the airport 159 00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,320 and got you something then! 160 00:06:18,719 --> 00:06:21,424 Of course after 8 days of no erections 161 00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,448 I realized I needed some* 162 00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:24,996 So, I came back in the stake. 163 00:06:25,434 --> 00:06:27,008 And now, I* 164 00:06:28,977 --> 00:06:30,776 Ah! Oh no! 165 00:06:31,242 --> 00:06:32,885 We have a Ronnie down! 166 00:06:32,910 --> 00:06:34,089 Make way, I'm a captain. 167 00:06:34,114 --> 00:06:35,190 Make way, I'm a captain. 168 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:37,811 Captain Steve. 169 00:06:38,261 --> 00:06:39,687 Captain Dave. 170 00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:41,073 I'm okay. 171 00:06:41,489 --> 00:06:42,945 Oh, crap. 172 00:06:45,353 --> 00:06:46,619 What the hell are you doing 173 00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:47,611 on my plane? 174 00:06:47,636 --> 00:06:48,669 It's not your plane. 175 00:06:48,694 --> 00:06:49,939 Your name isn't Dave Jackpot. 176 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:51,671 It is on several dating websites. 177 00:06:51,696 --> 00:06:52,795 You don't know. 178 00:06:52,864 --> 00:06:54,163 I know you ruined me the moment 179 00:06:54,232 --> 00:06:56,298 you ran your weird face into my fist. 180 00:06:56,367 --> 00:06:57,633 You're lucky that was a sucker punch. 181 00:06:57,702 --> 00:06:59,101 If it had been a real fight, I would've given you 182 00:06:59,170 --> 00:07:00,703 a one-way ticket to Pain Island. 183 00:07:00,772 --> 00:07:02,338 you. 184 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,005 I'm standing right here. Now's your chance. 185 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:05,439 No, I'm on duty. Unlike some people, 186 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:06,840 I don't fight my passengers. 187 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:08,142 That's fine. I can wait till we land. 188 00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,243 How long's your turnaround? 189 00:07:09,345 --> 00:07:10,411 - An hour. - Perfect. 190 00:07:10,479 --> 00:07:11,612 Gives me a half hour to warm up, 191 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,780 ten minutes to kick your ass 192 00:07:12,848 --> 00:07:14,748 and 20 minutes to high-five all my fans. 193 00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:16,817 That is, of course, unless you're scared. 194 00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:19,853 The only thing I'm scared of is your naked under-nose. 195 00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:22,823 Have some respect, and cover that thing up. 196 00:07:22,892 --> 00:07:24,358 - It's on. - Oh, it's on. 197 00:07:24,427 --> 00:07:26,293 Lost luggage room, 3:00 p.m. 198 00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:28,779 Barring any weather delays. 199 00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:29,817 Oh, of course. 200 00:07:29,846 --> 00:07:31,412 - What's the wind shear at today? - About 20 knots. 201 00:07:31,514 --> 00:07:32,446 That's not so bad. 202 00:07:32,548 --> 00:07:34,081 We could maybe push it to 2:50. 203 00:07:34,183 --> 00:07:35,655 The way I fly, make it 2:45. 204 00:07:36,208 --> 00:07:37,717 This is so dumb. 205 00:07:44,527 --> 00:07:47,962 Oh, no, this is worse than I suspected. 206 00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,530 Your mouth looks exactly how 207 00:07:49,632 --> 00:07:51,546 other people are sure my mouth looks. 208 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:53,562 Artem, you have to help me. 209 00:07:53,664 --> 00:07:55,564 I cannot take another flight like this, 210 00:07:55,633 --> 00:07:57,032 and my turn is in an hour. 211 00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,334 Is there anything you can do? 212 00:07:58,402 --> 00:08:00,991 Ronnie always help Artem on the plane, 213 00:08:00,992 --> 00:08:04,006 so it would be an honor to help you here on the ground. 214 00:08:04,075 --> 00:08:06,256 Ronnie. What are you gonna do about this Steve-Dave thing? 215 00:08:06,257 --> 00:08:07,522 We can't actually let them fight. 216 00:08:07,523 --> 00:08:09,056 I have my own problems, Bernard. 217 00:08:09,124 --> 00:08:10,891 I have to get this tooth fixed before our next flight. 218 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:12,025 I don't have time to worry about 219 00:08:12,094 --> 00:08:13,393 what those two dummies are doing. 220 00:08:13,462 --> 00:08:15,295 Forget them. I'm the dummy I'm worried about. 221 00:08:15,397 --> 00:08:17,531 This fight could delay our turn back to L.A. 222 00:08:17,599 --> 00:08:18,999 And I have a date at Musso & Frank's 223 00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:20,867 with a married Swede I met in a chat room. 224 00:08:20,969 --> 00:08:22,969 I'm sorry, but I cannot always be fixing 225 00:08:23,038 --> 00:08:24,838 everybody else's stuff. 226 00:08:24,907 --> 00:08:27,340 If you want to stop the fight, be my guest and stop the fight. 227 00:08:27,409 --> 00:08:28,457 Let's go, Artem. 228 00:08:28,458 --> 00:08:30,802 No, o-oh, just a moment, I have to give Nichole 229 00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:34,709 my secret recipe for... queso. 230 00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:37,475 'Kay, so, there's gonna be 231 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:39,223 a lot of action on this pilot fight. 232 00:08:39,248 --> 00:08:40,873 # PilotFight. 233 00:08:40,905 --> 00:08:42,617 I have no time for bets, 234 00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:45,452 but as my protégé, you are in charge. 235 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,133 Artem, I'm so honored. 236 00:08:47,311 --> 00:08:48,322 Wait. 237 00:08:48,390 --> 00:08:49,923 We're gonna be splitting that money 50-50, right? 238 00:08:49,992 --> 00:08:51,158 Because I'm gonna need cash 239 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:52,993 if I'm gonna start buying freshwater lakes. 240 00:08:53,062 --> 00:08:54,661 It's what the wars of the future will be fought over. 241 00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:55,829 Of course. 242 00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:57,737 We're equal partners. 243 00:08:57,769 --> 00:08:59,334 Hey, I have a strong feeling 244 00:08:59,384 --> 00:09:02,120 that Captain Dave will win this fight. 245 00:09:02,577 --> 00:09:05,342 He has this sad rage in him. 246 00:09:05,596 --> 00:09:07,905 That means you have to encourage 247 00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:10,070 hefty bets on Captain Steve. 248 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,169 You can count on me. 249 00:09:11,204 --> 00:09:12,770 I know I can. 250 00:09:12,839 --> 00:09:16,307 That's why the little black book is yours. 251 00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:17,475 Wow. 252 00:09:18,456 --> 00:09:20,556 Steffi Graf, Angela Merkel, Sade? 253 00:09:20,659 --> 00:09:22,949 I'm sorry, that's the wrong little black book. 254 00:09:22,974 --> 00:09:23,971 Here. 255 00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:24,920 Oh. 256 00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:28,465 Dave? 257 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:29,599 - You and I need to talk. - We do. 258 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:30,900 Which of these do you like? 259 00:09:30,969 --> 00:09:32,202 I'm looking for something intimidating 260 00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:34,559 that breathes, and doesn't skimp on style. 261 00:09:34,653 --> 00:09:35,786 You don't have to do this. 262 00:09:35,854 --> 00:09:37,143 You're the guy who's still flying. 263 00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:38,264 You already won. 264 00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:39,722 And I'll be the real winner when I'm sharing 265 00:09:39,791 --> 00:09:42,558 a shrimp cocktail with my Swedish orthopedist Bjorn. 266 00:09:42,627 --> 00:09:43,726 The "J" is silent. 267 00:09:43,795 --> 00:09:45,227 Just like his love for me. 268 00:09:45,296 --> 00:09:46,595 Look, I have to fight Steve. 269 00:09:46,664 --> 00:09:48,397 My honor is at stake here. 270 00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:49,899 Like when I was a teenager, my dad was gonna buy 271 00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:51,600 that ski resort to turn into condos, 272 00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:53,602 until a scrappy ski instructor beat me in that race 273 00:09:53,671 --> 00:09:55,071 down Devil's Backbone. 274 00:09:55,139 --> 00:09:56,806 So you were the villain in an '80s ski movie? 275 00:09:56,874 --> 00:09:58,107 No, I was the good guy. 276 00:09:58,176 --> 00:10:00,109 Those condos would've been state-of-the-art. 277 00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:01,945 Look, everyone that works in this airport 278 00:10:02,046 --> 00:10:03,446 knows that Steve challenged me. 279 00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:05,314 If I back out now, I'll lose their respect 280 00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:06,906 and maybe never get it back. 281 00:10:07,285 --> 00:10:08,584 I can't let them see me as a coward. 282 00:10:08,653 --> 00:10:09,952 Colin, will you please talk some sense 283 00:10:10,021 --> 00:10:12,088 and tell Dave this fight won't solve anything? 284 00:10:12,156 --> 00:10:14,423 Well, actually, it may solve quite a lot. 285 00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:16,425 As a university-trained boxer, 286 00:10:16,494 --> 00:10:19,038 I believe that physical confrontation is an effective 287 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:22,107 and downright zesty means of conflict resolution. 288 00:10:22,132 --> 00:10:23,364 You know, I have some time 289 00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:24,582 before I pick my son up from school. 290 00:10:24,607 --> 00:10:25,672 Maybe we could train together? 291 00:10:25,697 --> 00:10:26,729 I'll show you some tips. 292 00:10:26,758 --> 00:10:27,777 Let's do it then. 293 00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,328 Donna, put this on my tab. 294 00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:34,798 And here you stand, Bernard, forsaken and alone. 295 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,633 Like a young Hedy Lamarr's Joan of Arc. 296 00:10:36,735 --> 00:10:39,302 With no around to tell you they don't get that reference. 297 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,872 All right, we don't have time to go to a real dentist's office, 298 00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:43,540 so hopefully this place will have to work. 299 00:10:43,609 --> 00:10:46,043 Oh, this is like a little airport hospital. 300 00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:48,712 Is this where sick airplanes go? 301 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:51,148 This is the Vegas airport medical office. 302 00:10:51,216 --> 00:10:54,451 It's mainly used for hangovers, stripper-heel ankle sprains, 303 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,987 and people still tripping from last night's EDM show. 304 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,556 I need to lick something or else I'll die. 305 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,967 I just don't know if they have any dentist stuff here. 306 00:11:01,968 --> 00:11:05,048 Don't worry, I got my own dental emergency kit. 307 00:11:05,137 --> 00:11:08,872 I have some fun pokey things, and some fun scrape-y things... 308 00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:11,741 Whatever. Just use all of it. You have half an hour, 309 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,576 so start scraping and start poking. 310 00:11:13,645 --> 00:11:16,980 Okay, listen, one important question before we start. 311 00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:20,450 Which tablet would you like to use for cartoons? 312 00:11:20,519 --> 00:11:21,856 The panda or penguin? 313 00:11:21,857 --> 00:11:24,026 Artem, I'm not a child. Penguin. 314 00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:25,582 Good choice. 315 00:11:30,789 --> 00:11:33,477 Okay, David, we are gonna start with a simple combination. 316 00:11:33,502 --> 00:11:35,368 Jab, cross, then you slip when I counter. 317 00:11:36,872 --> 00:11:38,624 Ow. That's not cool. 318 00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:39,957 That's okay. We'll go again. 319 00:11:40,025 --> 00:11:41,959 Remember to dodge when I counter. 320 00:11:42,448 --> 00:11:43,834 - You don't have to tell me twice. - Okay. 321 00:11:45,652 --> 00:11:46,651 Try again. 322 00:11:49,093 --> 00:11:51,331 Why don't you use your martial arts training for this fight? 323 00:11:51,332 --> 00:11:54,265 Oh, I would never. Muay Thai is a sacred discipline 324 00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,101 whose purpose is the enrichment of the soul. 325 00:11:56,169 --> 00:11:57,702 And besides, they moved my book club to Tuesday nights, 326 00:11:57,771 --> 00:11:59,204 so I had to make some hard choices. 327 00:11:59,272 --> 00:12:00,371 Yeah, schedules can be difficult. 328 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,539 That's fine, we'll go again. 329 00:12:01,608 --> 00:12:03,241 Okay. Jab, cross, slip. 330 00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:05,176 Just... slip means get out of the way. 331 00:12:05,278 --> 00:12:08,546 So, again, that's jab, cross, get out of the way. 332 00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:12,417 Damn it. This would be easier if I knew 333 00:12:12,519 --> 00:12:13,685 which hand you were punching with. 334 00:12:13,753 --> 00:12:15,720 Just tell me, right or left, and then I'll move. 335 00:12:15,789 --> 00:12:18,289 Steve's not gonna announce which hand he's gonna punch you with. 336 00:12:18,358 --> 00:12:20,625 He will, if we make it a rule. Like in pool. 337 00:12:20,727 --> 00:12:22,393 You call the pocket first. Eight ball, corner pocket. 338 00:12:22,462 --> 00:12:24,062 left hand, your face. 339 00:12:24,131 --> 00:12:25,670 Oh, God this is gonna be harder than I thought. 340 00:12:25,671 --> 00:12:28,099 - Oh. - Come on, man, I was wiping my brow. 341 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:30,468 Then do my rule... call out "left hand, wiping brow." 342 00:12:30,537 --> 00:12:33,138 Wait, so Captain Steve and Captain Dave are gonna fight? 343 00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:36,241 Oh, yeah. We're calling it "PILOT PUMMEL I: The Rematch." 344 00:12:36,309 --> 00:12:38,743 Ten to one Dave wins in a knockout. Are you in? 345 00:12:38,812 --> 00:12:41,574 Hell yeah. With those odds, put me down for $50 on Steve. 346 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:44,916 Just $50? Come on. If you put in $250, 347 00:12:44,985 --> 00:12:46,451 I'll make one of those whisper videos 348 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,906 where I talk real quiet while I fold a napkin. 349 00:12:49,324 --> 00:12:50,783 Deal. 350 00:12:51,044 --> 00:12:53,911 $250 on Steve. 351 00:12:53,980 --> 00:12:55,408 $100 on Steve. 352 00:13:01,222 --> 00:13:02,854 $500 on Steve. 353 00:13:04,991 --> 00:13:08,417 _ 354 00:13:19,205 --> 00:13:22,692 $1,500 on Steve... and Dave falling in love? 355 00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:24,242 I'm a romantic. 356 00:13:26,768 --> 00:13:27,867 Steve, listen... 357 00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:35,373 Happy birthday, Mr. President. 358 00:13:36,445 --> 00:13:38,511 Listen, you, I'm calling off this fight. 359 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,953 Stay out of this, Bernard. 360 00:13:40,057 --> 00:13:41,090 Say my name again. 361 00:13:41,828 --> 00:13:43,586 No! This is crazy. 362 00:13:43,587 --> 00:13:44,886 You are two grown men. 363 00:13:44,955 --> 00:13:46,388 You shouldn't be settling your differences 364 00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,056 in a lost luggage room in the middle of the day. 365 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,725 You're not fighting. Now, say my name again. 366 00:13:50,794 --> 00:13:53,194 This is happening. There's nothing you can do to stop it. 367 00:13:53,263 --> 00:13:54,653 You just got caught up in the moment. 368 00:13:54,654 --> 00:13:56,386 Take a step back and think about this. 369 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:58,532 Think about this? Please. 370 00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,687 That's all I've thought about for months. 371 00:14:01,271 --> 00:14:03,337 I'm not meeting with the Jackpot Review Board. 372 00:14:03,839 --> 00:14:05,706 The only reason I was on that plane 373 00:14:05,707 --> 00:14:07,106 was to get Dave to fight me. 374 00:14:07,175 --> 00:14:09,809 I've spent every day since that flight 375 00:14:09,878 --> 00:14:12,645 waiting, watching, training. 376 00:14:14,935 --> 00:14:16,158 White lightning. 377 00:14:16,258 --> 00:14:17,678 That's right, Bernard. 378 00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:19,344 This isn't gonna be a fight. 379 00:14:21,122 --> 00:14:23,122 It's gonna be a massacre. 380 00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,908 Ok Ronnie. So I've cemented 381 00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,010 the temporary cap to your molar. 382 00:14:35,399 --> 00:14:37,966 I want you to bite down on this cotton roll 383 00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:39,818 until the cement is dry, okay? 384 00:14:39,843 --> 00:14:40,826 Uh-huh. 385 00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:43,138 Ronnie. Problem. 386 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,807 This pilot fight is getting out of hand. 387 00:14:44,875 --> 00:14:46,208 Steve is gonna murder Dave. 388 00:14:46,277 --> 00:14:47,724 What are you talking about? 389 00:14:47,725 --> 00:14:50,358 I saw him warming up. He's so powerful and raw. 390 00:14:50,425 --> 00:14:52,659 In my Revenant fantasy, he'll now be starring as the bear. 391 00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:54,527 Hey. Captain Steve is gonna win? 392 00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:57,564 Yes. I need you. This is not my department. 393 00:14:57,633 --> 00:14:59,699 This is like sporting goods, and I'm men's fragrances. 394 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,701 Oh, ah. If Dave is really in trouble... 395 00:15:01,737 --> 00:15:04,428 No-no-no, you're not going nowhere. Open mouth. 396 00:15:04,429 --> 00:15:07,374 - Ah. - Close it. Today, you have to be patient. 397 00:15:07,442 --> 00:15:09,676 Both as a noun and adjective. 398 00:15:09,745 --> 00:15:10,844 - But I have... - No buts! 399 00:15:10,946 --> 00:15:12,145 Dr. Artem's order. 400 00:15:12,247 --> 00:15:14,314 You have to wait here until the cement is dry. 401 00:15:14,383 --> 00:15:17,050 It's gonna be, like, 20 minutes. No moving, no talking. 402 00:15:17,119 --> 00:15:19,219 - What about the fight? - I'll fix it. 403 00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:20,854 Okay, Captain Steve is gonna win, 404 00:15:20,922 --> 00:15:23,323 so we have to change the betting line immediately. 405 00:15:23,392 --> 00:15:24,858 This was your plan to handle it? 406 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,527 Yes, because Nichole and I were gonna lose money. 407 00:15:27,596 --> 00:15:29,502 Wasn't that everybody's concern? 408 00:15:29,527 --> 00:15:31,131 Artem, I've already taken 409 00:15:31,199 --> 00:15:33,500 thousands of dollars of bets on Steve. 410 00:15:33,568 --> 00:15:36,236 Thousands? Oh, we have to stop this fight. 411 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:38,807 Bitch, I've been saying that for the last half hour. 412 00:15:43,412 --> 00:15:45,845 So, what do you think? Not too bad, huh? 413 00:15:45,914 --> 00:15:47,147 Well, you stopped yelling "punch" 414 00:15:47,215 --> 00:15:49,098 every time you threw a punch, so that's progress. 415 00:15:50,452 --> 00:15:51,518 Why don't we take a short break? 416 00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:53,386 - Okay, you catch your breath. - Ah. 417 00:15:53,455 --> 00:15:54,654 Maybe put your affairs in order, 418 00:15:54,723 --> 00:15:55,755 and we'll meet back here in five. 419 00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,283 How's that, champ? 420 00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:00,854 Punch, punch! 421 00:16:01,329 --> 00:16:03,563 Ah! I'm doing it again. 422 00:16:03,632 --> 00:16:05,365 get here immediately. 423 00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:07,567 Is this about the fight? Artem and Bernard are handling it. 424 00:16:07,636 --> 00:16:09,069 Right, nobody is handling anything. 425 00:16:09,137 --> 00:16:10,937 Do you know how I know? Because right now, 426 00:16:11,006 --> 00:16:12,906 I am watching Steve walk into this room. 427 00:16:12,974 --> 00:16:14,374 I am not supposed to move. 428 00:16:14,443 --> 00:16:15,942 I shouldn't even be talking. 429 00:16:16,011 --> 00:16:17,844 Look, Ronnie, I know you don't want this role, 430 00:16:17,946 --> 00:16:19,713 but you are quite possibly the only person 431 00:16:19,815 --> 00:16:21,247 in this entire airport 432 00:16:21,316 --> 00:16:23,516 capable of stopping an imminent calamity. 433 00:16:23,585 --> 00:16:24,778 We need you. 434 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,387 Punch, punch! Whoo! 435 00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:32,258 So what are you saying? He punched a wall? 436 00:16:32,327 --> 00:16:34,027 Big deal. I've punched hundreds of them. 437 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:36,796 Besides, Colin's been training me. I'm good. 438 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,032 No, you're quite literally the worst boxer I've ever seen. 439 00:16:39,101 --> 00:16:40,200 You should walk away now, 440 00:16:40,302 --> 00:16:41,367 while you still have the use of your legs. 441 00:16:41,436 --> 00:16:42,569 Yeah, you might die. 442 00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:44,270 Why the hell didn't you tell me all this sooner? 443 00:16:44,372 --> 00:16:45,538 I can't back down now. 444 00:16:45,607 --> 00:16:46,806 Look at all these people watching. 445 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,331 I'll lose their respect forever. 446 00:16:48,356 --> 00:16:50,422 There is another way. You could fight dirty. 447 00:16:50,518 --> 00:16:52,785 It's cheap and you'd have to completely abandon your dignity. 448 00:16:52,981 --> 00:16:54,147 Great, let's do that then. 449 00:16:54,454 --> 00:16:56,716 So, stick to biting, pulling hair, 450 00:16:56,785 --> 00:17:00,420 and if in doubt, you throw sand in his face. 451 00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,388 Wait, you carry sand around in your pocket? 452 00:17:02,457 --> 00:17:04,126 Yeah, it's a good thing I do, right? 453 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:06,027 You ready to rumble, you son of a bitch? 454 00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:07,496 Oh, did you hear that? 455 00:17:07,989 --> 00:17:09,998 - Am I? - Go get 'em. 456 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,400 - Why not? Okay. - Yeah. 457 00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:18,978 Come on Dave! 458 00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,188 I've been dreaming about kicking your ass 459 00:17:22,213 --> 00:17:23,286 for a long time, Dave. 460 00:17:23,287 --> 00:17:26,221 Well, that's not gonna happen, so keep dreaming, Pam Ewing! 461 00:17:26,324 --> 00:17:28,057 - Huh? - From Dallas. 462 00:17:28,159 --> 00:17:29,925 All of season nine was Pam Ewing's dream. 463 00:17:30,244 --> 00:17:31,410 You never watched Dallas? 464 00:17:31,479 --> 00:17:33,276 I believe it's pronounced "Da-yas." 465 00:17:34,413 --> 00:17:35,932 Say good night, Steve! 466 00:17:35,933 --> 00:17:38,766 Stop! That is enough. 467 00:17:39,165 --> 00:17:40,932 What the hell are you two doing? 468 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,147 You're acting like children. 469 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,572 Show me one child with a mustache like this. 470 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,917 Foreigners don't count. 471 00:17:45,918 --> 00:17:47,550 Oh, if you two idiots could forget about 472 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,620 this stupid grudge for one minute, 473 00:17:49,656 --> 00:17:51,672 I bet you'd realize you have a lot in common. 474 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:52,841 Like what? 475 00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:56,439 Uh... well, um... 476 00:17:56,959 --> 00:17:58,942 Oh, Seger! 477 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:02,085 You like Bob Seger. So does Dave. 478 00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:03,456 I don't like Bob Seger. 479 00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:06,115 I love Bob Seger. 480 00:18:06,761 --> 00:18:09,752 Okay, okay. What else? Uh... 481 00:18:09,821 --> 00:18:10,920 Steve drives a Miata! 482 00:18:10,989 --> 00:18:14,424 Oh! You both love cars marketed to women. 483 00:18:14,492 --> 00:18:17,260 What's wrong with a sporty car that's tight around corners? 484 00:18:17,329 --> 00:18:19,927 My Pontiac Sunfire used to have 'em screaming. 485 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,198 Just ask my ex, Keisha. 486 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,967 - Keisha? I dated a Keisha. Distefano? - Berardi. 487 00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:25,252 Both Italian. 488 00:18:27,170 --> 00:18:29,248 Now do you see what I'm talking about? 489 00:18:32,004 --> 00:18:35,211 This might be weird, but do you also, um, 490 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,546 sometimes feel like the sky 491 00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:38,014 is the only one that understands you? 492 00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,160 Sometimes? 493 00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:42,018 Try all the time. 494 00:18:42,692 --> 00:18:43,886 My God. 495 00:18:43,911 --> 00:18:45,611 We're like the same person. 496 00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,491 You see? You were both about to beat up 497 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,327 the only other person in the world who truly gets you. 498 00:18:51,701 --> 00:18:52,712 Friends? 499 00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:55,036 Brothers. 500 00:18:59,236 --> 00:19:01,737 Oh, my God, people. Get a life! 501 00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:03,439 Fight already! 502 00:19:04,909 --> 00:19:06,108 Oh! 503 00:19:09,087 --> 00:19:11,490 Hey, champ. How's the tooth? 504 00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:15,598 Oh... Artem has to redo the whole thing. 505 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,554 But luckily, the luggage knocked out another tooth, 506 00:19:18,622 --> 00:19:20,823 - and that hurts a lot more. - Well, even though 507 00:19:20,891 --> 00:19:22,024 it cost you a pair of teeth, 508 00:19:22,092 --> 00:19:23,659 at least you can feel good knowing that, 509 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,727 - yet again, you saved the day. - Yeah. 510 00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:27,563 At least being the person who fixes 511 00:19:27,631 --> 00:19:30,199 other people's screwups makes my life seem less like a mess. 512 00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:32,534 Well, you're in luck, because none of us 513 00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:35,652 are in any danger of getting our acts together... ever. 514 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,237 Hey, guys. 515 00:19:38,238 --> 00:19:39,842 You two must be happy. 516 00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,877 You narrowly avoided losing heaps of money. 517 00:19:41,946 --> 00:19:45,341 Mm-mm. We lost a bundle. To Alan. 518 00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:46,848 But the fight didn't even happen. 519 00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:49,400 Right. Because Steve and Dave fell in love. 520 00:19:49,425 --> 00:19:52,098 - Mm. - Ronnie, will you hold this money for me? 521 00:19:52,123 --> 00:19:54,088 Otherwise, it'll go right up my nose. 522 00:20:01,146 --> 00:20:03,866 I can't thank you enough for helping me earn back my wings. 523 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:06,825 Hey, we're brothers, and I told those Jackpot suits, 524 00:20:06,983 --> 00:20:09,567 if my brother can't fly, I can't fly. 525 00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:11,106 And now look at us. 526 00:20:11,175 --> 00:20:14,043 Two straight-up Norse gods ready to conquer the sky. 527 00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:16,745 And to think, I almost gave you a beatdown. 528 00:20:16,814 --> 00:20:18,580 Don't make me laugh, old man. 529 00:20:18,649 --> 00:20:20,082 I would've kicked your ass 530 00:20:20,151 --> 00:20:22,351 from here to Da-yas, Fort Worth. 531 00:20:23,028 --> 00:20:26,040 Well, time to fly. Let's do this. 532 00:20:26,657 --> 00:20:28,386 Uh, what are you doing? 533 00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:31,427 What do you mean? I'm the pilot, you're the co-pilot. 534 00:20:31,495 --> 00:20:33,462 I don't "co" anything. I'm the captain. 535 00:20:34,159 --> 00:20:35,930 You are loco in the cabeza if you think 536 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,427 you're gonna fly this thing. 537 00:20:40,384 --> 00:20:41,537 Out of my way! 538 00:20:41,639 --> 00:20:43,578 - No, get out of my way! - Get out of my way! 539 00:20:48,713 --> 00:20:50,335 This is so dumb.