1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:02,154 Previously on "Another Period"... 2 00:00:02,164 --> 00:00:04,690 All I want in this world is for my little baby Murray 3 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,791 to have a good life. I will do anything, 4 00:00:06,802 --> 00:00:09,827 so I switched my baby with one of the Bellacourt babies. 5 00:00:09,837 --> 00:00:11,563 I love you. 6 00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,900 What a productive day of porcelain shopping. 7 00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:19,237 From now on, I'm only eating out of soup bowls... or cake stands. 8 00:00:19,247 --> 00:00:21,406 All food must be high up or low down. 9 00:00:21,416 --> 00:00:23,909 My dolls are gonna shit when they see this new tea set I got. 10 00:00:26,388 --> 00:00:27,736 Beatrice, look. 11 00:00:29,648 --> 00:00:31,102 This is the third driver this week 12 00:00:31,113 --> 00:00:32,856 who's been glued to his kaleidoscope. 13 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,152 It's very unsafe. 14 00:00:36,465 --> 00:00:38,089 Look! There's another one! 15 00:01:00,467 --> 00:01:02,899 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 16 00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,985 - Oh, Mother, it was a real brush with death. 17 00:01:06,995 --> 00:01:09,620 My finger got scraped. I'm disfigured. 18 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,190 Now I know why war veterans are always whining. 19 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,658 It's just a scratch, dear. 20 00:01:13,668 --> 00:01:15,159 Don't listen to her, Beatrice. 21 00:01:15,169 --> 00:01:16,894 We will beat this. 22 00:01:16,904 --> 00:01:18,563 What's the point in being rich 23 00:01:18,573 --> 00:01:20,432 when bad things can still happen to you? 24 00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:22,200 You should be thankful, girls. 25 00:01:22,210 --> 00:01:25,137 At least I'm not visiting you at Shady Acres. 26 00:01:25,147 --> 00:01:26,837 Shady Acres. 27 00:01:26,847 --> 00:01:28,873 I wouldn't be caught dead being dead there. 28 00:01:28,883 --> 00:01:30,641 Well, dear, didn't you know? 29 00:01:30,651 --> 00:01:33,111 All the Bellacourts are buried at Shady Acres. 30 00:01:33,121 --> 00:01:35,379 Shady Acres? They might as well 31 00:01:35,389 --> 00:01:37,015 feed my dead body to a bulldog 32 00:01:37,025 --> 00:01:39,117 and have him shit in a grave. 33 00:01:39,127 --> 00:01:41,986 Mother, I will never be buried at Shady Acres. 34 00:01:41,996 --> 00:01:44,256 I'm going to be buried at Chevrolet... 35 00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,524 like all the other important people I hate. 36 00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,659 Why are you talking about burying us? 37 00:01:48,669 --> 00:01:50,060 Wait a minute. 38 00:01:50,070 --> 00:01:52,030 We're not going to the beach, are we? 39 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,366 Beatrice, we could've died today. 40 00:01:54,376 --> 00:01:57,167 What? Well, I'm not going to die. 41 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,912 Why is everyone looking at me like I'm going to die? 42 00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:16,064 What? 43 00:02:19,401 --> 00:02:22,194 That's a conversation I probably should've had with her. 44 00:02:22,204 --> 00:02:25,063 Stop making that face! It's unattractive. 45 00:02:26,507 --> 00:02:28,433 I hate when things are ugly. 46 00:02:28,443 --> 00:02:31,368 If I'm not here, who's going to see things? 47 00:02:46,628 --> 00:02:48,921 Huh, look at that... apparently both the driver 48 00:02:48,931 --> 00:02:51,390 and the cyclists were on their kaleidoscopes. 49 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,926 I swear, it's like everyone's become a damn zombie 50 00:02:53,936 --> 00:02:56,293 since those magical tubes of light came out, huh? 51 00:02:56,303 --> 00:02:59,064 - Uh-huh. - Put that infernal thing down! 52 00:02:59,074 --> 00:03:02,232 - Are you even listening to me? - I can do two things at once. 53 00:03:02,242 --> 00:03:04,636 I'm going to look out the window real fast... oh, my... 54 00:03:04,646 --> 00:03:06,304 Victor! 55 00:03:06,314 --> 00:03:09,273 This is not good. I am not happy with this. 56 00:03:09,283 --> 00:03:10,975 We are on opposite pages! 57 00:03:10,985 --> 00:03:12,677 What do you suggest we should do? 58 00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:14,612 I don't know. Something. 59 00:03:14,622 --> 00:03:17,114 Something that'll bring us together, you know? 60 00:03:17,124 --> 00:03:18,616 - You know? - No, I am not having 61 00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,150 the baby discussion again. 62 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,901 Listen to me! 63 00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:24,088 If you think that I'm going to procreate with a woman, 64 00:03:24,098 --> 00:03:26,357 then you're crazier than being a homosexual makes you. 65 00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:28,225 Come on, Vickie. 66 00:03:28,235 --> 00:03:30,628 Everyone knows the best way to save a doomed relationship 67 00:03:30,638 --> 00:03:32,463 is to have a child. 68 00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,666 Let's just try it one day. 69 00:03:34,676 --> 00:03:36,368 And I know where there's a place 70 00:03:36,378 --> 00:03:39,237 where we can borrow a child. 71 00:03:39,247 --> 00:03:42,106 Blue, yellow, green, blue... 72 00:03:42,116 --> 00:03:44,142 Ow! Oh, my God! 73 00:03:48,323 --> 00:03:51,016 Okay, Freddy, here's your speech about jobs 74 00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:52,983 for the Dodo Bird Hunters Union. 75 00:03:52,993 --> 00:03:55,119 Don't worry. It's in pictures, not words. 76 00:03:55,129 --> 00:03:57,289 I don't want to make a speech... 77 00:03:57,299 --> 00:03:59,391 although that is a very nice drawing of a horse. 78 00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:01,993 You don't want to? I'm so sorry. 79 00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:03,695 Do you think it's easy to get elected? 80 00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,362 It's not. It takes years of experience, 81 00:04:05,372 --> 00:04:06,998 lawmaking, and giving speeches. 82 00:04:07,008 --> 00:04:08,332 Idiots don't get to be president. 83 00:04:08,342 --> 00:04:09,833 Now, you're gonna go out there, 84 00:04:09,843 --> 00:04:11,336 read them these pictures, 85 00:04:11,346 --> 00:04:13,838 and prove that you can run the free world. 86 00:04:13,848 --> 00:04:16,006 Sorry, Mom. 87 00:04:22,616 --> 00:04:24,674 Jobs. 88 00:04:24,692 --> 00:04:27,518 Have you ever met anyone with one of those? 89 00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:28,886 Um, yes. 90 00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:30,288 You have? 91 00:04:30,298 --> 00:04:32,756 What is it exactly? A job? 92 00:04:32,766 --> 00:04:34,725 Well, it's how people get money. 93 00:04:34,735 --> 00:04:36,393 But why would they need money? 94 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:38,528 Well, if one were to buy something, 95 00:04:38,538 --> 00:04:40,864 they would need money to do so. 96 00:04:40,874 --> 00:04:43,569 For example, the Bellacourts pay me for my services. 97 00:04:43,579 --> 00:04:46,338 This is a job? I thought this was your dream. 98 00:04:46,348 --> 00:04:48,439 D-dreams don't buy gruel. 99 00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,590 Only the finest silks for you, Baby Murray. 100 00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:56,347 I mean Kermit. 101 00:04:56,357 --> 00:04:58,716 Kermit. Your name is Kermit. 102 00:04:58,726 --> 00:05:00,552 And you are a wealthy boy now. 103 00:05:00,562 --> 00:05:02,420 Ooh, would you like a bottle... 104 00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:05,323 Of, I don't know, how about some (BLEEP) caviar? 105 00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,025 Yes. 106 00:05:07,035 --> 00:05:08,893 Ah, there he is. 107 00:05:08,903 --> 00:05:10,261 Oh, wonderful. 108 00:05:10,271 --> 00:05:12,030 Now, let's snatch the little bugger. 109 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,764 No, this is Baby Kermit. So... 110 00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:15,766 - it's just baby Kermit. - I don't have time 111 00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:17,901 for one of your hysterical blatherings. 112 00:05:17,911 --> 00:05:19,871 I need a child, apparently, in my life. 113 00:05:19,881 --> 00:05:21,472 - So let me grab him. - No! 114 00:05:21,482 --> 00:05:22,796 - What are you... - No! 115 00:05:22,807 --> 00:05:25,242 Blanche, don't tell me what I cannot grab, all right? 116 00:05:25,252 --> 00:05:27,509 I'm going to grab that child and take it for our own. 117 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,550 Do you grab it by the ears like it's a rabbit or... 118 00:05:29,561 --> 00:05:31,250 - I don't know. - Oh, no, you really can't. 119 00:05:31,261 --> 00:05:33,495 I'm going to take it. Thank you. Give it. Let go. 120 00:05:33,513 --> 00:05:34,837 Let go of it. 121 00:05:35,062 --> 00:05:36,787 You know... 122 00:05:36,797 --> 00:05:39,391 You can't because he has an equestrian lesson at 3:00. 123 00:05:39,401 --> 00:05:41,593 Blanche, he's our former half-brother-in-law. 124 00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:44,062 We can take him if we want to. 125 00:05:44,072 --> 00:05:46,263 Victor! Come on. 126 00:05:46,273 --> 00:05:49,299 Oh, oh! Oh, gosh. I probably shouldn't be scoping, right? 127 00:05:49,309 --> 00:05:51,703 These are the kind of mistakes we're gonna make. 128 00:05:51,713 --> 00:05:53,037 So many mistakes. 129 00:05:53,047 --> 00:05:54,573 - Yes. - That's the good thing. 130 00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,126 All right, let's... 131 00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:58,279 You're upsetting the child, so let's get out of here. 132 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,612 - Yeah, you're a bad nurse. - Oh, he's crying! 133 00:06:11,966 --> 00:06:13,458 Now, do I want a classic grave 134 00:06:13,468 --> 00:06:15,794 or one of those tiny marble houses? 135 00:06:15,804 --> 00:06:17,194 Ooh, I could see myself 136 00:06:17,204 --> 00:06:19,530 in a little Taj Mahal but less ethnic. 137 00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:22,133 I can't predict if Indians are still going to be trendy 138 00:06:22,143 --> 00:06:23,335 in 100 years. 139 00:06:23,345 --> 00:06:25,270 Beatrice, look! 140 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,739 I can get pink satin in my casket. 141 00:06:27,749 --> 00:06:30,341 Ooh, and a monogrammed pillow. 142 00:06:30,351 --> 00:06:33,011 Beatrice, help me pick my death pose. 143 00:06:33,021 --> 00:06:35,112 Do you think this is too old-fashioned? 144 00:06:35,122 --> 00:06:37,814 Ooh, maybe arms by my side. That's more modern. 145 00:06:37,824 --> 00:06:40,285 Ooh, or maybe something like... 146 00:06:40,295 --> 00:06:42,020 What does it matter? 147 00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:44,189 Worms are gonna eat you either way. 148 00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:45,691 May I help you? 149 00:06:47,434 --> 00:06:50,723 Uh... hi. 150 00:06:50,734 --> 00:06:54,595 Yes, we'll take two of your finest plots... 151 00:06:54,776 --> 00:06:57,235 preferably in an area that can accommodate a crowd. 152 00:06:57,245 --> 00:06:59,002 Wonderful. Well, that should save me 153 00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:00,504 the time of going through 154 00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:02,975 this extremely extensive waiting list. 155 00:07:04,552 --> 00:07:05,910 Well, please. 156 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,646 I'm sure there's something we can do. 157 00:07:08,656 --> 00:07:10,547 It's very important that I'm buried here. 158 00:07:10,557 --> 00:07:13,384 Oh, it's very important? Well, why didn't you say so? 159 00:07:13,394 --> 00:07:18,223 In that case, all you need to do is travel backwards in time 160 00:07:18,233 --> 00:07:20,792 and get your great-great-great-grandparents 161 00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:23,694 to have better families and improve their bloodlines... 162 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,698 that is, if they can even speak English. 163 00:07:26,708 --> 00:07:28,900 We don't know how to travel backwards in time. 164 00:07:28,910 --> 00:07:31,403 You should tell that to your dresses. 165 00:07:31,413 --> 00:07:34,138 That might hurt our feelings if anything you said mattered, 166 00:07:34,148 --> 00:07:37,141 but we're all just animals on a cold, unfeeling rock, 167 00:07:37,151 --> 00:07:40,244 hurtling our way toward the inevitable godless abyss. 168 00:07:40,254 --> 00:07:41,912 So... 169 00:07:41,922 --> 00:07:44,381 it doesn't. 170 00:07:44,391 --> 00:07:46,485 Fine. They're still old dresses. 171 00:07:46,495 --> 00:07:47,751 Please, you don't understand. 172 00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:49,386 Oh, no, child. I do. 173 00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:51,857 I do. I simply don't care. 174 00:07:51,867 --> 00:07:53,723 Anyway, there's nothing to be done. 175 00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,725 The cemetery is completely booked. 176 00:07:55,735 --> 00:07:57,929 We're only accepting legacies now. 177 00:07:57,939 --> 00:08:01,365 Oh, uh, so legacies are guaranteed admission? 178 00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:03,268 Yes. How else do you think we ended up 179 00:08:03,278 --> 00:08:04,936 with a mulatto district? 180 00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:06,638 Now, if you'll excuse me, 181 00:08:06,648 --> 00:08:08,239 my 4:00 is here. 182 00:08:08,249 --> 00:08:11,074 Mr. Needham, welcome. 183 00:08:11,084 --> 00:08:12,576 I see you've brought your parents. 184 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,713 Come, let's go pick out some plots 185 00:08:14,723 --> 00:08:16,692 for your grandchildren. 186 00:08:24,331 --> 00:08:29,994 "Spooky cemetery tours." Legacies only, huh? 187 00:08:30,004 --> 00:08:32,562 I've got the perfect plan to fool that Cole Bottums 188 00:08:32,572 --> 00:08:34,599 into believing we're legacies after all... 189 00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:37,144 a good old-fashioned tomb-swapping. 190 00:08:38,463 --> 00:08:41,314 Would you like some Beaujolais? Should we give him some Beaujolais? 191 00:08:41,325 --> 00:08:43,675 I mean, how... Albert, how do you work one of these things? 192 00:08:43,685 --> 00:08:45,710 He's not giving me any kind of feedback. 193 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,735 - Just take it. - Victor, you're thinking too much. 194 00:08:47,746 --> 00:08:49,379 Parenting is like human nature. 195 00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:51,948 If he's thirsty, he'll pour himself a glass of Beaujolais. 196 00:08:51,958 --> 00:08:53,350 Well, look at you. 197 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,753 Regular Mr. Midwife. 198 00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:57,416 You think? I mean, right? I could get used to this. 199 00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:58,956 I know you could. 200 00:08:58,966 --> 00:09:00,392 Well... 201 00:09:00,402 --> 00:09:02,927 Oh, Victor. Can you not go five stinking minutes... 202 00:09:02,937 --> 00:09:04,228 Calm down, my love. 203 00:09:04,238 --> 00:09:07,065 This is actually for you... your own kaleidoscope. 204 00:09:07,075 --> 00:09:08,365 - My own? - Mm-hmm. 205 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:10,234 But you know I'm afraid of technology. 206 00:09:10,244 --> 00:09:13,171 Don't be. You just take the shaft... 207 00:09:13,181 --> 00:09:15,739 and I'll work the wheel. 208 00:09:15,749 --> 00:09:17,609 Oh, my God. 209 00:09:17,619 --> 00:09:19,076 That's wonderful. 210 00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:21,755 You know, I'm very glad we came out here with Kermit. 211 00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:23,575 It's really bringing our family together. 212 00:09:24,658 --> 00:09:27,118 Oh, now I see what all the fuss is about. 213 00:09:27,128 --> 00:09:28,485 Looking through a kaleidoscope 214 00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:30,210 is a great substitute for human connection. 215 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:33,089 You don't know the meaning of life until you've been a parent. 216 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,973 Shut up for a second. 217 00:09:34,984 --> 00:09:36,743 - Yeah, no, actually, shh. - Can you just... 218 00:09:36,754 --> 00:09:38,563 I know, but I said it first, so you shush. 219 00:09:38,574 --> 00:09:40,797 - Wait, let me go. Ok, one, two, three. - One second. 220 00:09:40,807 --> 00:09:42,657 - Shh. Shut up. - I'm just doing this thing. 221 00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:44,969 - I'll be with you in a second. - All right. 222 00:09:44,979 --> 00:09:46,104 Albert, are you still here? 223 00:09:46,114 --> 00:09:47,238 - Shh. - Okay, sorry. 224 00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:49,963 I bet Kermit would really enjoy this if he was looking through this. 225 00:09:49,974 --> 00:09:51,009 Uhhuh. 226 00:09:53,921 --> 00:09:55,746 I've asked Hamish to help me with my plan. 227 00:09:55,756 --> 00:09:57,047 It's actually perfect for him. 228 00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:58,416 He's good with a shovel, 229 00:09:58,426 --> 00:10:00,685 smells like death, and claims to be an expert 230 00:10:00,695 --> 00:10:01,885 in dirty holes. 231 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:06,257 Over here. 232 00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:13,764 Hurry up. The tour starts in five minutes. 233 00:10:13,774 --> 00:10:15,099 Hold on. 234 00:10:16,977 --> 00:10:18,002 Hurry up. 235 00:10:21,782 --> 00:10:24,675 What the hell is that? 236 00:10:24,685 --> 00:10:26,143 It's your Great-Aunt Beatrice, 237 00:10:26,153 --> 00:10:27,177 just like you asked for. 238 00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:28,446 You're welcome. 239 00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:30,181 You just had to bring the headstone. 240 00:10:30,191 --> 00:10:31,948 You didn't need to bring a rotting cadaver. 241 00:10:31,958 --> 00:10:34,384 Excuse me for taking a little pride 242 00:10:34,394 --> 00:10:36,321 in my work and being thorough. 243 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,523 You ever think that maybe it's not just all about 244 00:10:38,533 --> 00:10:40,792 switching the graves for the missus? 245 00:10:40,802 --> 00:10:41,993 That maybe I might be trying 246 00:10:42,003 --> 00:10:44,473 to prove my own value for myself? 247 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,133 Go to plot A7 and switch the headstones. 248 00:10:49,143 --> 00:10:50,234 Got it? 249 00:10:50,244 --> 00:10:51,701 What am I supposed to do with her? 250 00:10:51,711 --> 00:10:54,605 I don't know. (BLEEP) her, for all I care. 251 00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:56,975 Is that something that you'd be into? 252 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,711 Kermit, are you out here? 253 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:03,347 Pretend son, where art thou? 254 00:11:03,357 --> 00:11:04,682 How could you let this happen? 255 00:11:04,692 --> 00:11:07,283 Oh, Albie, everyone loses a baby at some point. 256 00:11:07,293 --> 00:11:09,653 Maybe this just wasn't a good idea. 257 00:11:09,663 --> 00:11:11,089 I mean, maybe having a baby 258 00:11:11,099 --> 00:11:12,958 wasn't the right plan to save our relationship. 259 00:11:12,969 --> 00:11:15,513 Listen to me. Everything we need is right here. 260 00:11:15,524 --> 00:11:17,327 If you take out that goddamn kaleidoscope... 261 00:11:17,337 --> 00:11:19,964 No, no, you idiot. I'm talking about us. 262 00:11:19,974 --> 00:11:21,698 As long as we have each other, 263 00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:23,366 we could lose all the babies in the world, 264 00:11:23,376 --> 00:11:24,405 and it wouldn't matter. 265 00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:25,663 Well, it wouldn't matter to us, 266 00:11:25,674 --> 00:11:27,437 but people are gonna start missing that Baby Kermit. 267 00:11:27,447 --> 00:11:29,740 - I'll make it better, I promise. - Oh, yeah? How? 268 00:11:32,186 --> 00:11:33,945 So we lost the baby. 269 00:11:33,955 --> 00:11:36,114 But babies are like women. They all look the same. 270 00:11:36,124 --> 00:11:39,649 So we found a replacement on the servant's coal pile. 271 00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:53,664 Welcome, boys and ghouls, 272 00:11:53,674 --> 00:11:58,235 to the monthly midnight tour of the Chevrolet Cemetery, 273 00:11:58,245 --> 00:12:00,904 part of our "Tours for Poors" program, 274 00:12:00,914 --> 00:12:02,773 which we do for love of the community. 275 00:12:02,783 --> 00:12:04,241 It's our way of giving back. 276 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:07,244 My name is Cole Bottums, 277 00:12:07,254 --> 00:12:10,947 and I'll be your tour "died." 278 00:12:10,957 --> 00:12:12,148 Opening with puns. 279 00:12:12,158 --> 00:12:13,485 This is going to be a long night. 280 00:12:13,495 --> 00:12:15,353 Oh, it's you two again. 281 00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:18,822 Follow me, as we walk amongst the graves 282 00:12:18,832 --> 00:12:21,425 of Newport's most famous families, 283 00:12:21,435 --> 00:12:24,628 following a path that will eventually lead us 284 00:12:24,638 --> 00:12:27,032 to an eternal flame... 285 00:12:27,042 --> 00:12:31,369 a flame that has burned longer than the American Republic. 286 00:12:33,947 --> 00:12:36,039 Damn it, Hamish that's the wrong spot. 287 00:12:36,049 --> 00:12:38,308 But stay close, for it is said 288 00:12:38,318 --> 00:12:40,778 that when the moon is shining, 289 00:12:40,788 --> 00:12:43,847 the dead may come alive. 290 00:12:43,857 --> 00:12:45,615 The dead don't come alive. 291 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:47,918 The dead stay dead, and no one remembers them, 292 00:12:47,928 --> 00:12:50,055 and nothing matters. 293 00:12:50,065 --> 00:12:51,299 Don't you think? 294 00:12:55,635 --> 00:12:57,427 Oh, thank God. Oh, hello. 295 00:12:57,437 --> 00:12:58,629 Hi, sweetheart, hello. 296 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:03,100 Oh, no, this isn't... this isn't my baby. 297 00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:05,103 No, no, that is Kermit. 298 00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:08,305 Different outfit, but that's him. 299 00:13:08,315 --> 00:13:10,541 He still says "goo-goo" and he smells like a tea cake. 300 00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,143 No, this is the wrong baby! 301 00:13:12,153 --> 00:13:14,812 No, it's definitely Kermit. Tell her yourself, Kermit. 302 00:13:14,822 --> 00:13:16,610 Oh, and look! There, he nodded. 303 00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:19,422 That's Kermit for you... always nodding. Big nodder, so it's Kermit... 304 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:21,652 - Who has my baby? - Get your hands off of me! 305 00:13:21,662 --> 00:13:22,820 Blanche! 306 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:24,821 - Control yourself. - They're lying! 307 00:13:24,831 --> 00:13:27,023 They're lying. This is the wrong baby. 308 00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,459 This is the wrong baby! 309 00:13:28,469 --> 00:13:32,363 Blanche, are you suggesting some sort of farcical baby switcheroo? 310 00:13:32,373 --> 00:13:34,465 I hardly think so. Excuse me, gentlemen. 311 00:13:34,475 --> 00:13:35,966 I apologize. 312 00:13:35,976 --> 00:13:38,211 Blanche, get this baby out of these rags 313 00:13:38,222 --> 00:13:39,836 and put him in his proper suit. 314 00:13:39,846 --> 00:13:41,672 And don't forget the suspenders. 315 00:13:41,682 --> 00:13:43,206 They make the entire outfit. 316 00:13:43,216 --> 00:13:45,348 Oh, and, Blanche, clean this out, would you? 317 00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:47,064 We didn't feel like walking back into the house, 318 00:13:47,075 --> 00:13:50,047 - and so we used it as our bathroom. - Yes, we shit in it. 319 00:13:50,057 --> 00:13:51,118 Thank you. 320 00:13:59,232 --> 00:14:01,792 Done and done. 321 00:14:01,802 --> 00:14:03,527 Hamish, what are you doing here? 322 00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:06,490 This is 7A. I said A7. 323 00:14:09,144 --> 00:14:10,901 Okay, before you get mad, 324 00:14:10,911 --> 00:14:13,336 I have to admit something to you. 325 00:14:13,346 --> 00:14:15,306 I'm kind of a new reader. 326 00:14:17,283 --> 00:14:18,308 Shit! 327 00:14:18,318 --> 00:14:19,705 Okay, here's what you need to do. 328 00:14:19,716 --> 00:14:21,778 You need to take all of these things over to A7. 329 00:14:21,788 --> 00:14:23,813 It's right next to an eternal flame, okay? 330 00:14:23,823 --> 00:14:26,384 That's a fire, not a word, so hopefully you can figure it out. 331 00:14:26,394 --> 00:14:27,884 No. Absolutely not. 332 00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:29,820 There's this gravestone, Aunt Bea. 333 00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:31,889 So, if you want all of this moved, 334 00:14:31,899 --> 00:14:33,823 you're going to have to help. 335 00:14:51,786 --> 00:14:54,711 Hello, my fellow Americans. 336 00:14:54,721 --> 00:14:56,647 - I... - We want jobs! 337 00:14:56,657 --> 00:14:58,483 Bring back our jobs! 338 00:14:58,493 --> 00:14:59,494 I have a speech. 339 00:14:59,505 --> 00:15:02,086 We don't want a speech. We want to feed our families. 340 00:15:02,096 --> 00:15:03,821 Oh, thank God. 341 00:15:03,831 --> 00:15:05,523 I don't like to do speeches either. 342 00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:07,124 What are you doing? 343 00:15:07,134 --> 00:15:09,594 - They didn't want a speech. - Get back up there and speak. 344 00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:10,628 Just do it. 345 00:15:10,638 --> 00:15:13,263 Okay, I'm going to speak... 346 00:15:13,273 --> 00:15:16,267 from my mouth. 347 00:15:16,277 --> 00:15:18,201 You see, I don't... I don't know anything 348 00:15:18,211 --> 00:15:19,637 about jobs 349 00:15:19,647 --> 00:15:23,173 or money or birdies, really. 350 00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:28,144 But I do know that you can have whatever you want... 351 00:15:28,154 --> 00:15:29,613 if you believe in it. 352 00:15:29,623 --> 00:15:32,185 You see, I wanted to be rich. 353 00:15:32,196 --> 00:15:35,068 Does anyone else want to be rich? We all want to be rich, right? 354 00:15:35,079 --> 00:15:37,355 So I believed that I wanted to be rich, 355 00:15:37,365 --> 00:15:40,490 and so I was born that way. 356 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,226 I believed I wanted to be gorgeous, and... 357 00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:44,095 "viola," look at that face. 358 00:15:44,105 --> 00:15:46,364 So, if you dodo bird hunters want jobs, 359 00:15:46,374 --> 00:15:49,366 then you just have to believe that you have them already. 360 00:15:49,376 --> 00:15:51,502 - But there ain't no more birds. - Yeah! 361 00:15:51,512 --> 00:15:54,105 Scientists say they're extinct. 362 00:15:54,115 --> 00:15:56,206 Well, what do scientists know? 363 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,975 Scientists don't have to feed their families. 364 00:15:58,985 --> 00:16:01,012 Some of this we'll have to figure out later, 365 00:16:01,022 --> 00:16:03,880 after I'm able to make all the laws that we want 366 00:16:03,890 --> 00:16:07,018 for each and every person individually or separate or together. 367 00:16:07,028 --> 00:16:09,687 Nothing matters. 368 00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:11,589 Frederick for president! 369 00:16:11,599 --> 00:16:14,225 Frederick for president! 370 00:16:14,235 --> 00:16:15,893 Mr. Frederick, Mr. Frederick! 371 00:16:15,903 --> 00:16:19,763 What you said up there was so inspiring and so true! 372 00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:22,265 I want you to know I don't work for you just for money. 373 00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:24,869 To prove it, I want you to have this. 374 00:16:24,879 --> 00:16:28,156 It's... it's my life savings! 375 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,673 Ooh, I love shiny metal. 376 00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:31,751 Yes, yes. 377 00:16:32,385 --> 00:16:34,244 Frederick for president! 378 00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,080 Frederick for president! 379 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:39,917 Frederick for president! Frederick for president! 380 00:16:45,532 --> 00:16:48,725 Follow me, if you dare. 381 00:16:48,735 --> 00:16:50,393 Mommy, I'm gonna be rich 382 00:16:50,403 --> 00:16:52,830 like these dead people when I grow up. 383 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,831 - If you grow up. - What do you mean? 384 00:16:54,841 --> 00:16:56,533 You might not get another day... 385 00:16:56,543 --> 00:16:58,034 another breath. 386 00:16:58,044 --> 00:17:00,704 When your rotting body decides that your pointless life 387 00:17:00,714 --> 00:17:02,698 is over, that's it. 388 00:17:02,709 --> 00:17:03,873 You're gone. 389 00:17:03,883 --> 00:17:06,110 Mommy, she's scaring me. 390 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,946 She can't help you. She's gonna die, too. 391 00:17:09,956 --> 00:17:11,416 Hey, lady? 392 00:17:11,426 --> 00:17:14,519 Listen, I don't know if you're after my job or what, 393 00:17:14,529 --> 00:17:16,387 but I'm over here doing spooky, 394 00:17:16,397 --> 00:17:19,189 and you're doling out existential horror. 395 00:17:19,199 --> 00:17:22,260 It's a cemetery. Read the room. 396 00:17:22,270 --> 00:17:25,896 The tour continues, ladies and ghouls! 397 00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:33,070 Aah! 398 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,805 He's gone. I don't know... 399 00:17:35,815 --> 00:17:37,351 Murray! 400 00:17:39,511 --> 00:17:41,244 Blanche, what are you doing on the ground? 401 00:17:41,254 --> 00:17:43,446 I don't barely pay you to lie about all day. 402 00:17:43,456 --> 00:17:46,883 He's not... not... he's not... 403 00:17:46,893 --> 00:17:49,119 Oh, I see. 404 00:17:49,129 --> 00:17:52,289 There's the Blanche I know and love. 405 00:17:52,299 --> 00:17:54,824 Like the swallows returning home 406 00:17:54,834 --> 00:17:57,261 to San Juan Capistrano, 407 00:17:57,271 --> 00:18:00,231 crazy Blanche has returned. 408 00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:01,631 Come. 409 00:18:01,641 --> 00:18:04,802 Let me escort you to the asylum, Blanche. 410 00:18:04,812 --> 00:18:06,004 There it is. 411 00:18:06,014 --> 00:18:08,706 Tut-tut-tut. Here we go. 412 00:18:08,716 --> 00:18:12,577 They miss you, Blanche. They miss you. 413 00:18:12,587 --> 00:18:14,645 They have your room waiting for you. 414 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,113 And now we come 415 00:18:17,123 --> 00:18:21,852 to the pride and joy of Chevrolet Cemetery... 416 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:25,188 the eternal flame at plot A7. 417 00:18:31,205 --> 00:18:33,965 I'm already dead! 418 00:18:33,975 --> 00:18:35,867 I'm an illusion. 419 00:18:35,877 --> 00:18:38,502 I'm not even here. 420 00:18:38,512 --> 00:18:41,437 How come nobody told me I wasn't even here? 421 00:18:42,850 --> 00:18:45,408 Oh, Beatrice. 422 00:18:45,418 --> 00:18:47,378 I'm gonna miss being you. 423 00:18:49,356 --> 00:18:50,847 Look at that! 424 00:18:50,857 --> 00:18:54,184 My Auntie Bea was buried here 425 00:18:54,194 --> 00:18:55,520 all along. 426 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,721 Looks like I am a legacy. 427 00:18:57,731 --> 00:19:00,056 This is my family plot. 428 00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:04,695 You think you're the first person to smuggle a headstone in here? 429 00:19:04,705 --> 00:19:06,397 You have desecrated my family... 430 00:19:06,407 --> 00:19:07,630 The eternal flame! 431 00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:10,945 - No. - Nothing is eternal. 432 00:19:20,053 --> 00:19:21,844 - Hi. - You've ruined everything. 433 00:19:21,854 --> 00:19:24,715 Now they won't even let me be buried in Shady Acres. 434 00:19:24,725 --> 00:19:27,184 I might as well be buried in Little Italy. 435 00:19:27,194 --> 00:19:28,886 Now, here's the plan... I'm going to need 436 00:19:28,896 --> 00:19:31,054 your Jew connections at Mount Mordechai. 437 00:19:32,733 --> 00:19:35,225 now's not a good time, huh? 438 00:19:38,839 --> 00:19:40,697 Now... 439 00:19:40,707 --> 00:19:42,099 Where were we? 440 00:19:42,109 --> 00:19:45,770 Oh, my mother. 441 00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:47,849 Oh, Beatrice! There are you. 442 00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:49,809 - Oh, hi, Frederick. - You should've been there. 443 00:19:49,820 --> 00:19:53,976 - The workers loved me. - What does it matter anyway? 444 00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:57,414 - We're all going to die. - Oh, but I'm not going to die. 445 00:19:57,424 --> 00:19:58,983 Yes, you are. 446 00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:00,783 We all are. 447 00:20:00,793 --> 00:20:03,087 But if I'm not here, who's going to see things? 448 00:20:03,097 --> 00:20:04,589 - I don't know. - I don't like this. 449 00:20:04,599 --> 00:20:06,456 I want to escape into my... my rainbow world. 450 00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,859 No, no, Frederick. Frederick, there is no escape. 451 00:20:08,869 --> 00:20:11,093 There's no escape. 452 00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:12,964 It's all meaningless. 453 00:20:14,341 --> 00:20:17,534 But for some reason... I want to do it forever. 454 00:20:17,544 --> 00:20:19,091 Me too! 455 00:20:19,338 --> 00:20:20,411 Wait. 456 00:20:20,981 --> 00:20:25,109 I have this shiny thing. It's called a "life savings." 457 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:27,775 It saves lives? How does it work? 458 00:20:27,786 --> 00:20:30,313 Well, there's a wishing well. I've seen poor people do this. 459 00:20:30,323 --> 00:20:33,116 They take their life savings, and they throw it into some empty abyss 460 00:20:33,126 --> 00:20:35,319 in the hopes of something impossible happening, so... 461 00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:37,119 maybe if we wish to never die... 462 00:20:37,129 --> 00:20:38,455 I wish to never die. 463 00:20:38,465 --> 00:20:41,125 - I wish to never die. - And then one... 464 00:20:41,135 --> 00:20:42,892 two... 465 00:20:46,239 --> 00:20:48,565 Ew. 466 00:20:48,575 --> 00:20:50,333 Beatrice. 467 00:20:50,343 --> 00:20:52,669 - What? - That baby has my coin! 468 00:20:52,679 --> 00:20:54,138 - Aw. - Hey! 469 00:20:54,148 --> 00:20:55,438 Excuse me, sir. 470 00:20:55,448 --> 00:20:56,907 - Get out of there! - Sir. 471 00:20:56,917 --> 00:20:58,201 Who do you think you are? Me? 472 00:20:58,445 --> 00:21:00,882 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 473 00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:03,313 - Excuse me, sir. - Give that back right now! 474 00:21:03,323 --> 00:21:04,447 Please, sir. 475 00:21:04,457 --> 00:21:06,116 I didn't know you were down there. 476 00:21:06,126 --> 00:21:07,685 I was making a wish about a new life. 477 00:21:07,695 --> 00:21:09,285 Sir, why are you ignoring us? 478 00:21:09,295 --> 00:21:11,601 This is very hard. We just found out we're going to die! 479 00:21:11,612 --> 00:21:13,614 By the way, you're going to die, too, if you don't know! 480 00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:16,600 - You're going to die! - You'll die maybe today!