1 00:00:00,327 --> 00:00:02,327 Previously on Another Period 2 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:04,101 I'm leaving Bellacourt. 3 00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:06,070 You are the head butler now. 4 00:00:06,138 --> 00:00:07,872 We are brother and sister! 5 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,840 - It's over, Frederick. - No. 6 00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:12,977 You're a useless, unlovable, vile, tacky little thing. 7 00:00:18,384 --> 00:00:19,411 What is it? 8 00:00:20,119 --> 00:00:22,033 It's... a cone 9 00:00:22,361 --> 00:00:24,245 of iced cream! 10 00:00:24,385 --> 00:00:26,089 It's just in from Paris. 11 00:00:26,365 --> 00:00:29,566 Oh, I get it. Your tongue is the spoon. 12 00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:34,670 Thank you. 13 00:00:35,341 --> 00:00:37,240 They've arrived! They've arrived! 14 00:00:37,309 --> 00:00:39,643 The invitation to Celery Savoy Bellacourt's 15 00:00:39,712 --> 00:00:41,578 masquerade ball have arrived. 16 00:00:41,647 --> 00:00:43,046 Ooh! Maybe I'll wear 17 00:00:43,115 --> 00:00:44,915 Cleopatra's menstrual napkins as a mask. 18 00:00:44,984 --> 00:00:46,283 New and used. 19 00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:48,185 I wanna wear Blanche's skin as a mask. 20 00:00:48,253 --> 00:00:50,153 Peepers, will you get my face scissors? 21 00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:51,989 My face is not removable. 22 00:00:52,057 --> 00:00:54,057 Yes, uh, Miss Beatrice, might I remind you 23 00:00:54,126 --> 00:00:56,593 I am Garfield, and I am the head butler now? 24 00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:58,462 We call all our butlers Peepers. 25 00:00:58,530 --> 00:01:01,431 Yes. It's easier than remembering a new name. 26 00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:02,517 Yes, of course. 27 00:01:02,542 --> 00:01:04,067 We're opening our own envelopes now? 28 00:01:04,136 --> 00:01:05,609 What are we, co-miners? 29 00:01:06,538 --> 00:01:09,228 I can't wait to seduce Colonel Beauregard Trimbald at the ball. 30 00:01:09,253 --> 00:01:11,587 "Kernel"? Is he a man or is he a corn? 31 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,571 He's the Toilet King of Tallahassee, and he's available. 32 00:01:15,459 --> 00:01:17,245 How do you even eat this? 33 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,615 "Cordially not invited"? 34 00:01:23,097 --> 00:01:24,760 Why wouldn't Celery invite us? 35 00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:27,889 Don't tell me she's still mad because I impaled her sister 36 00:01:27,890 --> 00:01:29,302 crotch-first at last year's 37 00:01:29,370 --> 00:01:30,640 Winter Wonderland Reindeer Roasting Ball. 38 00:01:31,408 --> 00:01:33,275 - People change! - It's true. 39 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,843 I once saw a person change from being 40 00:01:34,912 --> 00:01:36,745 "not on fire" to "on fire." 41 00:01:37,251 --> 00:01:38,346 It was because of me. 42 00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:40,997 Um, if you're not going to the ball, could we stop now? 43 00:01:41,285 --> 00:01:43,351 We are going to that ball. 44 00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,723 Blanche, you got ice cream on my mask! 45 00:02:02,147 --> 00:02:04,387 Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com 46 00:02:04,641 --> 00:02:06,107 In a surprising turn of events, 47 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:08,476 turns out life outside Bellacourt Manor 48 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,978 can be deeply relaxing. 49 00:02:10,047 --> 00:02:11,146 No, Shenandoah, 50 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,315 the proper technique for making acorn mush 51 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,650 is with a loose wrist. 52 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:19,321 Let your wrist flow like a bounding elk. 53 00:02:19,841 --> 00:02:22,257 Hmm? Oh! Me? 54 00:02:22,326 --> 00:02:23,592 No, yes, I've been 55 00:02:23,660 --> 00:02:25,927 the head butler for two weeks now, and... 56 00:02:25,996 --> 00:02:29,531 It's been quite... relaxing. 57 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,832 - Garfield! - Yes? 58 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:32,133 We have an emergency! 59 00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:33,835 We ran out of cacao for the ganache, 60 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,638 and Miss Beatrice is holding her breath until we get more. 61 00:02:36,707 --> 00:02:38,273 Where is the swan fat? 62 00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:40,375 Oh, you know Lady Dodo will only eat birds 63 00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:42,143 if they're fried in the fat of other birds. 64 00:02:42,212 --> 00:02:44,813 Garfield! Where's the goddamn lamé 65 00:02:44,881 --> 00:02:46,982 for Frederick's golden shoulder pads? 66 00:02:47,050 --> 00:02:49,985 A week ago, I requested French rolling pins. 67 00:02:50,053 --> 00:02:52,621 French! These break off in a sphincter immediately! 68 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:54,189 - Don't smell that! - We need answers. 69 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,388 Garfield! 70 00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:57,125 Weren't you just saying that there's cacao 71 00:02:57,194 --> 00:02:59,194 hidden behind the turnips in the root cellar? 72 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,896 Yes! Uh, that's what I always say! 73 00:03:01,965 --> 00:03:03,264 And weren't you also saying 74 00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,066 to give Lady Dodo an absinthe lollipop 75 00:03:05,135 --> 00:03:06,901 until we can slaughter and render the swans? 76 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:08,370 And the lamé is in the lamé closet, 77 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,804 between the silver and the ivory. 78 00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:13,141 Uh, I... don't really give a shit about that. 79 00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:15,043 And Dr. Goldberg mustn't be allowed 80 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,216 access to any long tools. 81 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,548 Yes, that's... right! That's what I was saying. 82 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,050 Back to work, everyone! 83 00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:24,084 Oh, Flobelle, Flobelle. Um... 84 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:27,022 I just wanted to thank you for helping me slightly, 85 00:03:27,090 --> 00:03:28,890 in a very small way. 86 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,825 We make a good team, Garfield. 87 00:03:30,894 --> 00:03:33,196 Yes. Team Garfield. 88 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:36,998 Well, back to work! Scoot along, let's go! 89 00:03:37,067 --> 00:03:38,633 That's a good girl. 90 00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:53,014 Can you please stop what you're doing 91 00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:55,316 so we can discuss your mission for the night? 92 00:03:55,385 --> 00:03:56,818 To be the queen of the dance floor! 93 00:03:56,887 --> 00:03:59,187 No, to form a political alliance 94 00:03:59,256 --> 00:04:00,488 with Colonel Trimbald. 95 00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:01,890 He's the most powerful member 96 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:04,025 of the National Restroom Association. 97 00:04:04,094 --> 00:04:06,194 The N.R.A. You know, "Big Toilet." 98 00:04:06,475 --> 00:04:07,629 Stop dancing. 99 00:04:08,072 --> 00:04:09,365 I need you to stop. 100 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:10,398 You're still dancing. 101 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,721 I am not dancing. I stopped. 102 00:04:12,327 --> 00:04:14,402 I mean, you're moving. Your... your head is moving. 103 00:04:14,471 --> 00:04:16,237 I'm listening, that's how I... fine. 104 00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,872 - Just... thank you. - Fine. 105 00:04:17,941 --> 00:04:18,916 Thank you. 106 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,046 If you can win his... 107 00:04:23,461 --> 00:04:25,067 I was trying to put my hat on. 108 00:04:25,757 --> 00:04:27,082 If we can win his support, 109 00:04:27,150 --> 00:04:29,617 our coffers will be positively overflowing 110 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,287 with toilet money for your presidential campaign. 111 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:35,190 I'm running for president? 112 00:04:36,593 --> 00:04:38,359 Oh, fantastic! 113 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,403 Sorry, Celery, but it's going to take 114 00:04:48,472 --> 00:04:50,171 more than clear, explicit instructions 115 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,508 to stay away from a party to keep me from a party. 116 00:04:54,233 --> 00:04:56,010 There's nothing I hate more than the hierarchy 117 00:04:56,079 --> 00:04:57,312 between the have-everythings 118 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,314 and the have-everythings but-an-invitation. 119 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,015 It does look like a nice party, though. 120 00:05:01,084 --> 00:05:03,084 Now I see why we weren't invited. 121 00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:04,953 We have to get in there! 122 00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:06,421 Why don't we go through the servants' entrance? 123 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,690 - That seems easy. - Might also be easy 124 00:05:08,759 --> 00:05:10,725 for me to cut my body into a hundred pieces 125 00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,594 and ship it to the party via the Pony Express 126 00:05:12,662 --> 00:05:14,462 but I'm not going to do that, because, much like 127 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,306 entering the servants' entrance, that would kill me! 128 00:05:17,996 --> 00:05:19,134 I'll meet you inside. 129 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,905 Servants' entrance. Ah! 130 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,928 Yes, yes! 131 00:05:46,997 --> 00:05:49,764 Wonderful humor, wonderful! 132 00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:52,000 Colonel Trimbald! 133 00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:53,735 I'm so delighted you could make it. 134 00:05:53,804 --> 00:05:56,337 Oh, is that Endive Savoy-Sweetzer? 135 00:05:56,406 --> 00:05:58,039 You know my sister, Celery. 136 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,008 - Charmed. - Yes. 137 00:06:00,076 --> 00:06:01,476 How's business, Colonel? 138 00:06:01,545 --> 00:06:03,711 Well, I have to tip my cap to the Supreme Court 139 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,780 for upholding segregation. 140 00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:07,248 It's been great for business. 141 00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,583 It's double the toilets, 142 00:06:08,652 --> 00:06:10,385 and the black ones don't even need to work! 143 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,353 Oh, that is fascinating. 144 00:06:12,422 --> 00:06:13,988 My husband, the vice president, 145 00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:16,090 has always been a huge supporter of Big Toilet. 146 00:06:16,159 --> 00:06:17,425 You'll have to meet him. 147 00:06:17,728 --> 00:06:19,295 Where is Freddy? 148 00:06:24,406 --> 00:06:25,400 Ooh! 149 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,903 Ah! I was going to eat that, madam! 150 00:06:29,992 --> 00:06:31,040 So was I. 151 00:06:31,504 --> 00:06:33,004 I love panda balls. 152 00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:35,860 Especially in the bathtub. 153 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,055 - Really? - Mm. 154 00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:41,082 It's rare to meet someone who also enjoys meals in water. 155 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,518 Do you also take your "hors deh-oovers" 156 00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:44,652 while soaking yourself? 157 00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,099 Is there any other way? 158 00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:48,523 Well, we're very much alike. 159 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,860 It's almost as if we could complete each other's... 160 00:06:51,928 --> 00:06:53,795 Thoughts from my brain that turn into words 161 00:06:53,864 --> 00:06:55,778 and, added together, become... 162 00:06:56,232 --> 00:06:57,932 word piles. 163 00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:00,904 Who are you? 164 00:07:01,438 --> 00:07:03,071 Would you like to dance with me? 165 00:07:03,362 --> 00:07:05,962 Maybe somewhere... private? 166 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,942 Normally, I wouldn't dance with a stranger, 167 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,078 but this feels like... 168 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:11,881 - Fate. - Two gorillas. 169 00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,201 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow, butt cut! Butt cut! 170 00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,203 I cut my butt! Ah! Ow! 171 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,606 Ooh, ooh, my dress! 172 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:40,775 Ow, ow... 173 00:07:47,918 --> 00:07:49,350 Oh, I'm bleeding. 174 00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:51,126 Ah, oh, butt cut. 175 00:07:51,588 --> 00:07:52,584 Help! 176 00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:54,148 Oh... 177 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,297 What's this? 178 00:08:02,365 --> 00:08:03,798 What are you doing in here? 179 00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:06,601 All the young ladies are lining up for Colonel Trimbald. 180 00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:07,936 You can't miss it. 181 00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,771 Oh, I-I-I... No, no, m-my dress... 182 00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:11,439 It's all right, virgin. Follow me. 183 00:08:11,508 --> 00:08:13,074 - Ooh, ah, ah... - Right this way. 184 00:08:13,572 --> 00:08:15,238 Oh, Colonel Trimbald... 185 00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,436 Mm, wonderful curtsy, yes! 186 00:08:22,437 --> 00:08:24,570 Oh, very nice form. 187 00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:27,373 Ahem. Located another rogue virgin, sir. 188 00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:29,208 Ooh, my! 189 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,678 Oh, ho, ho! 190 00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:34,513 Colonel Trimbald doesn't want a woman. 191 00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:36,102 He wants a child. 192 00:08:36,859 --> 00:08:38,559 I can play that game. 193 00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:42,048 Well, aren't you a vision? 194 00:08:43,699 --> 00:08:46,800 This isn't my first "sexiest curtsy" contest. 195 00:08:46,869 --> 00:08:49,736 You have a lot of spunk, don't you? 196 00:08:49,805 --> 00:08:51,672 I could always use more! 197 00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,973 Oh! 198 00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:55,342 Well, ladies, I want you all, 199 00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:57,644 but sadly, I can only choose one of you 200 00:08:57,713 --> 00:09:01,576 to dance with first, so who shall it be? 201 00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:02,916 Me, me, me! 202 00:09:02,985 --> 00:09:04,484 Oh, oh, oh! 203 00:09:04,553 --> 00:09:07,458 It's just overwhelming. I don't know how to decide. 204 00:09:07,521 --> 00:09:08,953 You're all so perfect. 205 00:09:09,022 --> 00:09:10,321 So young, 206 00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:13,792 so unformed, so moldable. 207 00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:15,093 Pick me! I've been trained 208 00:09:15,162 --> 00:09:17,162 in both English and Continental fork use. 209 00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:19,664 I can learn to sing all of your favorite cantatas, 210 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,833 even the ones in the Catholic languages. 211 00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:24,069 I can speak so softly and sweetly, 212 00:09:24,137 --> 00:09:26,237 you'll never even know I'm talking. 213 00:09:26,306 --> 00:09:28,306 My skin is so unblemished... 214 00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:30,241 I haven't got my period! 215 00:09:30,310 --> 00:09:31,311 What? 216 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,645 I'm pwee-pubescent! 217 00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:36,781 Oh, ho, ho, ho! You are a delight! 218 00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:38,483 Oh, yes! 219 00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:40,785 Half of my teeth are still baby teeth. 220 00:09:40,854 --> 00:09:44,289 Nice try, sweetie, but I wasn't born yesterday. 221 00:09:44,357 --> 00:09:46,074 - Or was I? - Oh! 222 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:49,127 Oh, ho, ho, ho! A newborn! 223 00:09:52,732 --> 00:09:54,056 What's going on in here? 224 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,633 Clean the andirons! 225 00:09:56,718 --> 00:09:57,951 They are clean, sir. 226 00:09:58,020 --> 00:09:59,874 Flobelle made a schedule, and we finished early. 227 00:09:59,928 --> 00:10:02,187 Well, uh, rotate the soup ware. 228 00:10:02,312 --> 00:10:04,312 They've been rotated and re-rotated. 229 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,047 Flobelle had me do it hours ago. 230 00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:07,982 She's one step ahead of you, Garfield. 231 00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:11,401 Funny. She makes me want to do my job. 232 00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:14,121 Well, Miss Lillian and Beatrice will be home soon. 233 00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:16,090 We must prepare the post-party chamber. 234 00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,025 It's already done. This one. 235 00:10:20,063 --> 00:10:21,662 Flobelle, it's usually 236 00:10:21,731 --> 00:10:24,131 the head butler's job to give the orders. 237 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,367 - Oh. - Well, I just asked myself, 238 00:10:26,436 --> 00:10:27,902 "What would Garfield do?" 239 00:10:27,971 --> 00:10:29,203 And then I did it. 240 00:10:29,398 --> 00:10:30,972 Oh, well, can you ask, 241 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,540 "Where would Garfield put the dustpans?" 242 00:10:32,608 --> 00:10:34,552 Because I cannot find them anywhere. 243 00:10:38,715 --> 00:10:40,247 And then a priest, a rabbi and a Prussian 244 00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:41,415 walk into a bar. 245 00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:45,252 That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. 246 00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:47,054 I have to be honest with you, lady. 247 00:10:47,459 --> 00:10:50,558 I just got out of a 35-year-long relationship. 248 00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:53,426 So did I. I was in one that lasted my whole life. 249 00:10:55,004 --> 00:10:57,431 Wait. That ring... You're married? 250 00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,455 Oh, yes, but she's gross. I hate her. 251 00:10:59,544 --> 00:11:01,533 Can I tell you something that I've never told anyone? 252 00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:03,311 - Yes. - One time, my pony 253 00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:04,479 got an embarrassing haircut, 254 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:06,370 and it was the worst day of my life! 255 00:11:07,224 --> 00:11:09,591 I am so touched that you told me that. 256 00:11:10,814 --> 00:11:13,087 This is the opposite of the worst day of my life. 257 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,838 This is... 258 00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:18,293 A pretty good day. 259 00:11:21,526 --> 00:11:23,305 Well, I have a feeling it's about to get 260 00:11:23,330 --> 00:11:24,866 a whole lot better. 261 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,542 I could listen to you talk about toilets all night long! 262 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,744 You know, we have a saying in the toilet industry 263 00:11:37,812 --> 00:11:40,246 that a good toilet is a better listener 264 00:11:40,315 --> 00:11:41,460 than it is a talker. 265 00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:43,646 I don't understand what that means. 266 00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:46,388 It means it takes in more than it spits out. 267 00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:48,556 Ooh! I never spit out. 268 00:11:48,595 --> 00:11:52,220 Oh, ho, you're a sweet little toilet, aren't you? 269 00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:54,184 You know, a lot of girls say they're 11 270 00:11:54,253 --> 00:11:55,519 when they're really 15. 271 00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:57,921 I would never lie to you. 272 00:11:57,990 --> 00:12:01,058 If there's one thing I can't abide by, it's liars 273 00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:03,423 and women born before 1890. 274 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,156 Can I steal her for a moment? 275 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:07,825 Ooh, Grandma! Only for a moment, though. 276 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,795 As you know, it's almost past my bedtime. 277 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,298 What the hell are you doing here? 278 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,833 I am in the middle of some very sensitive 279 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,001 political maneuvering. 280 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,502 Well, maybe you should have 281 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,937 thought of that before you invited me to your party. 282 00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,605 I didn't invite you to my party! 283 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,441 - Exactly! - What is even your plan here? 284 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,909 I don't know if you've noticed, 285 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,078 but you aren't exactly the Colonel's type. 286 00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,379 Aren't I? 287 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,614 The mask has to come off eventually, Lillian. 288 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,416 What is your long game? 289 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,119 Joke's on you, Celery. I don't have a long game. 290 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,987 I never think more than one step ahead. 291 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:39,924 They don't call me Lillian "Small Picture" Bellacourt 292 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,057 for nothing. 293 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,060 Oops! 294 00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,431 Oh, aren't you perfect? 295 00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,136 Now that I'm head butler, 296 00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:54,171 I get to have real food once a month, 297 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,507 and since Flobelle has been so helpful, 298 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,309 I've decided to share it with her. 299 00:12:58,377 --> 00:13:02,246 Savory bonbons, shrimp, oxtail, and black pudding, 300 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,782 for my black pudding... 301 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:07,151 I gotta tell you, you make me hornier 302 00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,086 than a Jew with a treasure map. 303 00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,721 Now, Hamish. 304 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,591 What did we discuss about being vulgar? 305 00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:16,727 I'm sorry. It just was so attractive, 306 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,330 seeing you take charge like that. 307 00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,865 What else could I do, 308 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:23,400 leave Garfield in charge? 309 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,035 I mean, the guy can barely wipe his ass. 310 00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:27,071 You're right. The guy is dumb, huh? 311 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,806 No, no, that wasn't a euphemism. 312 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,941 He literally smells of fecal matter. 313 00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:32,544 Oh! 314 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,012 You made me spill my tray, 315 00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,197 you dumb, fecal-matter-smelling flour sack! 316 00:13:38,222 --> 00:13:40,718 You always betray the men that care about you, Blanche! 317 00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:43,154 What are you talking about? No one cares about me. 318 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:45,689 You never pay attention 319 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,725 to the boys who try to be nice to you! 320 00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:49,727 No one tries to be nice to me... man or woman. 321 00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:52,196 Or animal. Wait. Is someone trying to be nice to me? 322 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:56,066 You only care about bad boys, and I'm a good boy! 323 00:13:56,135 --> 00:13:57,568 That's enough, Garfield! 324 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,504 good, bad, physically abusive. 325 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,506 Oh, I hate you, Blanche! I hate you! 326 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,442 Garfield! I said that's enough! 327 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,879 I'm the one that Mr. Peepers left in charge. 328 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:10,848 Not you, Flobelle. 329 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,616 I'm in charge! 330 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,679 The person in charge is the person people listen to. 331 00:14:17,135 --> 00:14:18,789 Look at me. Look at me! 332 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,879 I'm the butler now. 333 00:14:35,034 --> 00:14:37,474 So seriously, does somebody want me? 334 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,277 I'll take you, but only if you come as a pair, 335 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:42,671 and one of you is screaming. 336 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,249 Damn it! Shit! 337 00:14:48,271 --> 00:14:50,221 That's not funny. That's not funny. 338 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:54,091 Making light of assault is not funny, Hamish! 339 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,493 Why do you do that? I'll tell you why you do that. 340 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,263 You do it because 341 00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:01,189 you want people to like you 342 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,867 so bad that that makes you hate yourself, 343 00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:07,286 so better you make them hate you 344 00:15:07,311 --> 00:15:09,206 before you make them hate you. 345 00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:10,307 You understand? 346 00:15:10,792 --> 00:15:12,843 No, you probably don't. You know why? 347 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,646 Because I'm a [BLEEP] idiot! That's why! 348 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,248 That's what I call everybody else, 349 00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,350 but really, I'm talking to myself. 350 00:15:19,738 --> 00:15:22,519 Everyone is my mirror! 351 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,790 I know we just met, but... 352 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,525 I've never felt this kind of connection with anyone 353 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,960 outside my family before. 354 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,862 I feel like I've known you my whole life. 355 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,330 Are you sure we've never met? 356 00:15:33,399 --> 00:15:35,032 I never forget a face. 357 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,321 Or a voice. 358 00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:38,623 Or that time I let that puppy drown in my bubble bath. 359 00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:53,854 I need to see your face. 360 00:15:53,923 --> 00:15:55,355 I need to see the face that goes with 361 00:15:55,424 --> 00:15:57,024 those too-big-for-your-frame breasts. 362 00:15:57,092 --> 00:15:58,392 Let's both show our faces. 363 00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,227 On the count of three, let's take off our masks. 364 00:16:00,296 --> 00:16:02,930 - Okay. - One, two, three. 365 00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,097 Ow! 366 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,799 Ow! Ow! Mine was glued on. 367 00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,334 That was smart. I used rubber cement. 368 00:16:07,403 --> 00:16:08,622 Oh, that hurt. 369 00:16:08,904 --> 00:16:10,837 How will you ever find a ring small enough 370 00:16:10,906 --> 00:16:12,572 for my nimble little fingers? 371 00:16:12,641 --> 00:16:14,374 Oh, I've seen smaller. 372 00:16:15,778 --> 00:16:18,812 Would you care for another dance, milady? 373 00:16:18,881 --> 00:16:20,681 I thought you'd never ask! 374 00:16:22,484 --> 00:16:24,897 Oh! Oh, oh, oh! 375 00:16:27,523 --> 00:16:30,123 You said you hadn't been raspberried before! 376 00:16:30,192 --> 00:16:33,994 Oh, it's my first squirt of strawberry jam! 377 00:16:34,063 --> 00:16:35,662 First period, ha! 378 00:16:35,731 --> 00:16:37,698 That isn't just flow; it's heavy flow. 379 00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,399 This is heavy flow! 380 00:16:39,424 --> 00:16:40,996 I think you left this... 381 00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:42,882 On the dance floor. 382 00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,964 It wasn't my period! It was my butt cut! 383 00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,889 It wasn't gross period blood. 384 00:16:48,958 --> 00:16:50,858 It was blood... it was blood from my butt. 385 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:52,693 - Oh! - My sister was there. 386 00:16:52,718 --> 00:16:56,067 She can tell you everything. Beatrice! Beatrice! 387 00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:58,344 Beatrice! 388 00:16:58,413 --> 00:17:00,179 Maybe if we try really hard, we can get them off. 389 00:17:00,248 --> 00:17:02,195 - Okay. I'll pull yours. - Okay. 390 00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:03,939 One, two, three. 391 00:17:04,419 --> 00:17:06,185 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 392 00:17:06,254 --> 00:17:07,520 Beatrice! 393 00:17:07,588 --> 00:17:08,589 - What? - What? 394 00:17:09,457 --> 00:17:10,856 Oh. I have to go. 395 00:17:10,925 --> 00:17:12,024 Beatrice! Someone's calling for me. 396 00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:13,225 - I need you! - Wait. 397 00:17:13,294 --> 00:17:15,194 She won't stop. Trust me. I'll be back. 398 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:20,733 - I'll be back! - Beatrice! 399 00:17:20,802 --> 00:17:22,601 But I didn't get your name! 400 00:17:26,274 --> 00:17:27,573 Not my butt hole. 401 00:17:27,642 --> 00:17:29,408 I want to clarify; I cut the side of my butt, 402 00:17:29,477 --> 00:17:31,210 and that's where the blood was coming from. 403 00:17:31,279 --> 00:17:33,913 It cut my butt! Oh, well, Beatrice was there! 404 00:17:33,981 --> 00:17:35,781 She saw everything. Tell them! 405 00:17:35,850 --> 00:17:37,550 She was shard-ed. I saw it. 406 00:17:38,629 --> 00:17:41,798 My hymen is as intact as the walls of Fort Sumter. 407 00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,961 Well, your face tells a different story. 408 00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,782 That's Lillian Bellacourt. 409 00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:51,184 - She wasn't even invited! - Lillian! 410 00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:55,055 It's not your age but your dishonesty that hurts! 411 00:17:55,124 --> 00:17:58,755 But also the age; I am looking for someone to grow old with, 412 00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:01,193 not someone to bury next year! 413 00:18:01,263 --> 00:18:03,244 Oh, Colonel, let's put all 414 00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:05,508 this nasty business behind us. 415 00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:09,370 If I can find my husband, I'm sure he can smooth things over. 416 00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:10,971 They don't call him "Hot Iron" Bellacourt 417 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,906 just because he's burned his hands on a hot iron 418 00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:14,308 nearly a hundred times. 419 00:18:14,377 --> 00:18:15,676 "Bellacourt," eh? 420 00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:18,846 - Yeah. - So he's Lillian's brother? 421 00:18:20,249 --> 00:18:23,266 I'd like to shake the hand of the woman 422 00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:25,185 whose husband's political career 423 00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:27,388 I am going to put in the toilet. 424 00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:29,423 And not in a good way! 425 00:18:32,895 --> 00:18:35,929 Oh, you ruined everything, just like you always do! 426 00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:38,732 Lillian and Beatrice, you are un-cordially 427 00:18:38,801 --> 00:18:40,481 not invited to every 428 00:18:40,506 --> 00:18:43,361 Newport social function forever! 429 00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:45,139 Who does she think she is? 430 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,274 Yeah, who does she think he is? 431 00:18:48,978 --> 00:18:50,551 I wonder if she's ever coming back. 432 00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,482 Come back, mystery lady! 433 00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:57,151 My ring! Where did it go? 434 00:19:01,020 --> 00:19:02,523 Well, that was humiliating. 435 00:19:02,591 --> 00:19:03,657 Well, no more humiliating 436 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:04,925 than anything else we've ever done. 437 00:19:04,994 --> 00:19:06,760 Well, at least we ruined Celery's night, 438 00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:08,081 so there's that. 439 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,641 - I feel funny down there. - Hang on. 440 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,967 My Prince Charming left a clue! 441 00:19:21,306 --> 00:19:23,610 Oh, I wonder who my Prince Charming is. 442 00:19:24,087 --> 00:19:25,803 I guess I may never know... 443 00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,884 I feel like I've lost a lot of blood. 444 00:19:31,887 --> 00:19:34,555 Oh, beloved, where are you? 445 00:19:37,434 --> 00:19:40,722 That's it, boy. That's it. 446 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,939 Hello, Mr. Peepers. 447 00:19:45,008 --> 00:19:47,108 Garfield! What are you doing here? 448 00:19:47,177 --> 00:19:50,070 I want you to come back to Bellacourt. We need you! 449 00:19:50,779 --> 00:19:53,446 Well, I do sometimes 450 00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:56,015 miss the feel of a push broom in my hand, and... 451 00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:57,624 some nights... 452 00:19:57,941 --> 00:20:01,909 some nights, I stand among the maize for hours, 453 00:20:01,978 --> 00:20:04,512 waiting to take anyone's coat, 454 00:20:05,502 --> 00:20:07,148 but I have a new life now. 455 00:20:07,217 --> 00:20:10,021 But, sir, servants are doing multiple jobs, 456 00:20:10,069 --> 00:20:11,968 and because everyone is sharing, 457 00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:14,935 they finish early and have evenings to themselves. 458 00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:16,058 Gasp! 459 00:20:16,128 --> 00:20:17,260 Well, as much as this upsets me, 460 00:20:17,329 --> 00:20:18,929 I cannot return with you. 461 00:20:18,997 --> 00:20:20,961 I have a wife and children now. 462 00:20:21,733 --> 00:20:24,267 She was assigned to me by the tribe. 463 00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:27,080 In Iroquois, she's known as a "rebound woman." 464 00:20:27,804 --> 00:20:28,918 No! 465 00:20:29,374 --> 00:20:32,609 For the first time in my life, I feel at peace. 466 00:20:32,678 --> 00:20:35,763 I am at one with myself and... 467 00:20:36,381 --> 00:20:38,181 my Oheo. 468 00:20:39,051 --> 00:20:40,145 Sir... 469 00:20:41,224 --> 00:20:44,621 A woman has taken over as head butler of Bellacourt! 470 00:20:45,020 --> 00:20:47,954 Well, it was lovely getting to know you, Oheo. 471 00:20:48,023 --> 00:20:49,489 I must go back to Bellacourt. 472 00:20:49,558 --> 00:20:51,958 You'll raise "Pretends to be British" by yourself. 473 00:20:52,027 --> 00:20:53,293 Come, boy, let's go home. 474 00:21:00,976 --> 00:21:02,783 I've really been working 475 00:21:02,808 --> 00:21:04,289 on this guy. 476 00:21:04,312 --> 00:21:06,312 Mister *, hey Mister * 477 00:21:06,313 --> 00:21:09,211 Shut up! And no, it's one step forward 478 00:21:09,236 --> 00:21:12,237 two steps back. Every [BLEEP] day. 479 00:21:12,261 --> 00:21:15,734 I don't give people the chance to like me.