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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

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Rebecca Bunch, I have loved you

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since the moment that I saw you

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freshman year in the cafeteria.

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This isn't happening.

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You know what they say...

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One person's blackmailing is
another person's love story.

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Have you ever noticed how
when a male patient dies,

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he's all like, beep...

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But when a female patient dies,
she's like beep, beep, beep!

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I'm so glad we're in business together.

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You're so good at charts
and getting deals on stuff.

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That's so sexy.

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- God, Boggle.
- What? Oh...

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This should never
happen again after this.

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Absolutely, this is the last time.

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Last time. The last time.

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You're seeing someone else,
she's your girlfriend,

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and I'm your "friend."

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- So it's possible I may have ordered
- _

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a hit on Nathaniel's girlfriend Mona.

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But it's okay, I undid it
this morning immediately.

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At least I tried to. Hope I did.

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I think I did. I probably did.

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The last few months
have meant a lot to me.

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And if that's what you want,

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I'll forget about everything else

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- and everyone else, for you.
- _

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_

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So, do you have to, like, study,

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everywhere we go?

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I have a final. It's an ethics class.

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It's hard.

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Well, just copy your
ethics off someone else.

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Right? Also, Rebecca,
what's up with the knitting?

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Um, it's crocheting, and
she's trying to relax.

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She and Nathaniel are...

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Hey, yeah, so maybe
there's a better mime

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we can do around someone who
survived a suicide attempt.

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It's fine, yes.
Nathaniel and I are done.

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Okay?

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Clearly, I wasn't ready

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to be in a relationship.

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Also, he was seeing someone else.

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That... always works out great.

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Exactly, it did not work out.

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Which is great, because now

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I get some well-deserved me time.

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Yeah, I get some hot

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Rebecca-on-Rebecca
action.

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Yeah, I don't need a man.
And you know what says that?

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This soon-to-be
afghan.

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- I like that attitude.
- You go, girl.

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- Other supportive girl thing.
- Yeah.

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You know what, from now
on, my life is gonna get

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an A-plus on the Bechdel test.

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Well, actually, since the Bechdel test

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is a measure of how often
women talk about men,

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the act of talking
about the Bechdel test

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kind of technically means
you've failed the Bechdel test.

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Okay, thank you, feminism referee.

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And you know what the best thing is

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about being alone, potentially forever?

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I know what the future holds now.

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The way ahead is clear,

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and I know exactly
what I need to do next.

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? ?

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It's an afghan.

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? ?

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? It's come to this
like I knew it would ?

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? Since I'm now single for good ?

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? I know just what I gotta do ?

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? I gotta go get myself
a buttload of cats ?

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? A buttload of cats ?
? A buttload of cats ?

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? Way too many cats ?

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? When you're a
permanent bachelorette ?

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? It's mandatory that
you go out and get ?

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? A buttload of cats ?

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? ?

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? Oh, yeah ?

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? I walk myself down to
the Lonely Lady Cat Store ?

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? The smell is overwhelming inside ?

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? This is the future
smell of my house ?

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? It's the smell of my
dreams that have died ?

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And cats!

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? I walk up to the cat shelf ?

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? Where the cats are
labeled big and small ?

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? The saleslady asks,
"Is there one you like?" ?

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? And I state, "I'll
take them all" ?

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? I want a buttload of cats ?

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? Meow, a buttload of cats ?

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? Gimme a buttload of cats ?

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? Meow, a buttload of cats, meow ?

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Yes. ? The saleslady's pumped ?

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? She's closing early ?

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? And headed home to her
sad walk-up apartment ?

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? Filled with her
own buttload of cats ?

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? Meow, meow, meow ?

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? That she got at a discount ?

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? Meow, meow, meow ?

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? 'Cause she works
at the cat store ?

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? Meow, meow, meow ?

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? Meow, meow, meow ?

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? Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow ?

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? Why have cats over time become ?

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? Synonymous with loneliness? ?

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? We gotta work on
our collective image ?

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? We need a new publicist ?

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? The ironic part is
we're not that friendly ?

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? If you're lonely, we
might make it worse ?

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? Also, we sleep,
like, 16 hours a day ?

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? Have you considered
getting a dog? ?

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? Nope, I want a
buttload of you guys ?

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? Okay, we warned you ?

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? A buttload of cats ?

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? We're gonna ruin your couch ?

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? There's a lot of evidence that ?

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? Organisms in cat
poop make you crazy ?

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? Yes, we saw that
article in The Atlantic ?

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? And then we peed on The Atlantic ?

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? ?

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? But I still want
a buttload of cats! ?

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Oh, my God, it's so nice
to connect with someone.

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I feel so much less alone now.

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Do you want to get out of here
and talk more about our cats?

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- Yeah.
- Okay.

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Oh. Oh.

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Hey, where are you ladies going?

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We're all supposed to be lonely.

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I like tabbies.

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Oh...

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- Mmm... oh, yeah.
- _

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I'm digging this.

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Quiet night in by myself.

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I can finally hear myself think.

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I can hear you think, too.

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Wha... wha... wha...

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Rebecca. Trent?!

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Oh, my God! What are you doing here?!

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? ?

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? I'm just a boy in love ?

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? La-la-la,
lovey-dove ?

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? I can't be held
responsible for my actions ?

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? Ooh, he's a male ingenue ?

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? I have no underlying
issues to address ?

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? I'm certifiably cute
and adorably obsessed ?

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? They say love makes you crazy ?

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? Therefore, you
can't call him crazy ?

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? 'Cause when you call him crazy ?

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? You're just calling him in love. ?

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Blam!

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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

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I said "Blam."

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Yeah, I heard you.

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So, what, you just never
heard back from Rebecca?

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No.

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I basically offered to
give up everything for her,

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and the next thing you
know, I got this text.

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-_
- And then I sent that text.

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- And that was it.
- Huh.

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Rebecca and I see each other at work,

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and we just act like the
whole thing... never happened.

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- Yeah, that sounds healthy.
- Yeah, well...

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What's wrong, baby?

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You thirsty? Want some water?

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Hey, uh, quick question,

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why is it that all of my
friends, including you,

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are in love with Rebecca?

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Does she have a magic vagina?

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No.

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She has a great one, though.

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And she does like when I
refer to it as the Sorting Hat.

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Harry Potter dirty talk.

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Don't worry about it.

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Yikes.

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So, uh... so what's
going on with Mona, then?

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You still seeing her?

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I've just been avoiding her,

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which is ridiculous.

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I keep telling her that work is crazy.

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It's not crazy.

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- It's not fair to her, you know?
- Hmm.

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Mona's great. She doesn't deserve this.

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Yeah, I know. It's pretty
crappy what you're doing.

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Ah, there it is.

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There's that famous judginess
I've heard so much about.

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I'm even getting it from
your dog down there. Hello.

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That's a good boy.

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Look, I know I should move on, okay?

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I just can't seem to do it.

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I don't know, I guess
a part of me is hoping

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that Rebecca will
come around eventually.

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When will I ever get the message?

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When are you gonna
get the message, Trent?

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I don't want to see you.

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Okay, Paula told me it was you

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that gave Josh my medical
records right before my wedding.

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You almost ruined my life, maniac!

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You mean saved your life, lover?

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No. You blowing up my wedding,
uh, kind of put me on the path

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- to almost killing myself, so...
- Oh, come on,

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that's a reach.

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I mean, take some
responsibility for your actions.

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I saved you from being in a
marriage you didn't even want.

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And now I'm here to claim
my prize for a job well done.

206
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You.

207
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What? Here to claim your prize?

208
00:08:06,231 --> 00:08:07,597
It's been months.

209
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I mean, where the hell have you been?

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Oh, you have no idea what I've done

211
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to fight my way back to you.

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After I dropped the
documents off to Josh...

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Here you go.

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... all I had to do was wait
for your wedding to fail.

215
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So I rented a drone

216
00:08:21,614 --> 00:08:24,948
with a camera, and I watched
as your wedding fell apart.

217
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Victory!

218
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Then I tracked you

219
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to the weirdly foreboding
Covina Inn and Suites.

220
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I knew you were alone.

221
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All I had to do was claim
my prize, my princess.

222
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I'm coming to rescue you, Rebecca.

223
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And just as I was about to
save you from your tower...

224
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... I heard the sound of a train.

225
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You know how I feel
about clowns and trains.

226
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Ironic, then, that I was
hit by a bus and not a train.

227
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That was the beginning of
the worst months of my life.

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Every bone in my body was broken,

229
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except, unfortunately, my ear bones.

230
00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:02,285
Hey, Trent, how you doing, buddy?

231
00:09:02,287 --> 00:09:04,321
Oh, that's right. You can't talk.

232
00:09:04,323 --> 00:09:06,957
Ooh-hoo, my favorite kind of audience.

233
00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:10,060
Would you mind hearing
some of my new stand-up set?

234
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So, this patient comes in

235
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with a yellowish
discoloration of the skin.

236
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His name was Jack Nicholson.

237
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He says, uh, "Here's Jaundice!"

238
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I have, like, maybe 40
more. Can I run them by you?

239
00:09:21,974 --> 00:09:24,941
I spent the next six months
of my life in terrible pain.

240
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She's always got to go
collect the urine sample

241
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:29,112
- with all the other female patients.
- Both physically...

242
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I used to call it the
dab ointment and lean.

243
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... and comedically.

244
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Gynecological obstetrics!

245
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Till one day I could no longer take it

246
00:09:38,171 --> 00:09:40,857
and I mustered all of my energy
and I broke free from my casts.

247
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I knew Dr. Roth would have the
authorities out there looking for me.

248
00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,932
He was developing a one-man show,

249
00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:50,367
and he needed my help.

250
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So I stole a hog

251
00:09:52,104 --> 00:09:55,439
and decided to head out to
the desert to recuperate.

252
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I holed up in a cave in the Mojave.

253
00:10:01,555 --> 00:10:03,713
And I hung with a pack of coyotes,

254
00:10:03,891 --> 00:10:06,183
and they taught me how to howl again.

255
00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:14,291
That's when I knew that I was ready

256
00:10:14,293 --> 00:10:16,062
to find my way back to you.

257
00:10:16,862 --> 00:10:19,563
So I Wazed directions back
towards the Brooks Brothers

258
00:10:19,565 --> 00:10:21,777
at the Desert Hills Premium Outlets

259
00:10:21,802 --> 00:10:23,735
to find myself some clothes.

260
00:10:24,131 --> 00:10:25,731
I'm an outlet guy.

261
00:10:26,468 --> 00:10:27,915
And I came here.

262
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:29,473
Oh, my God!

263
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:30,822
Mm-hmm.

264
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,343
I mean, that's the most
insane story I've ever heard.

265
00:10:33,345 --> 00:10:34,778
Honestly, I'd be impressed

266
00:10:34,780 --> 00:10:36,913
if I weren't so disgusted
by you as a person.

267
00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:38,181
Okay, so just...

268
00:10:38,206 --> 00:10:40,369
You told me your story,
now get out of here, Trent.

269
00:10:40,394 --> 00:10:42,227
All right, your timing
couldn't be worse.

270
00:10:42,252 --> 00:10:44,736
I am not looking for anything right now.

271
00:10:44,761 --> 00:10:46,572
I'm browsing cat websites.

272
00:10:46,597 --> 00:10:48,625
I'm-I'm making a crocheted
blanket for Darryl's baby.

273
00:10:48,627 --> 00:10:50,560
Why am I tell you this? Just get out.

274
00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:52,142
You leave me no choice, then.

275
00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:55,259
I'm gonna have to blackmail you
into being my girlfriend again.

276
00:10:55,284 --> 00:10:57,250
Yeah, buddy, you can't
blackmail me, okay?

277
00:10:57,275 --> 00:11:01,041
Everyone already knows all of my top
secret personal info, thanks to you.

278
00:11:01,066 --> 00:11:03,840
Oh, I have way better
info than that now.

279
00:11:03,865 --> 00:11:06,242
Does Pretzel365 ring a bell?

280
00:11:06,392 --> 00:11:08,712
Perhaps a handle that
you used on a little thing

281
00:11:08,714 --> 00:11:11,014
we like to call the Dark Web?

282
00:11:12,718 --> 00:11:14,351
How do you know about the Dark Web?

283
00:11:14,353 --> 00:11:16,887
The Dark Web is my playground, baby.

284
00:11:17,096 --> 00:11:19,422
I have a Dark Web alert
on your I.P. address.

285
00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:21,892
I saw that, one night, you were trying

286
00:11:21,894 --> 00:11:23,560
to take a hit out on a girl called Mona.

287
00:11:23,562 --> 00:11:25,529
I have all the info.

288
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:27,564
I printed out a hard copy

289
00:11:28,306 --> 00:11:31,025
'cause hard copies just have
more gravitas. There you go.

290
00:11:34,106 --> 00:11:36,206
No. No, no, no. No, no.

291
00:11:39,710 --> 00:11:41,310
Oh, my God, but...

292
00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,481
I was out of my mind on hormones,

293
00:11:44,483 --> 00:11:47,450
and I undid it all the next day.
I never meant to hurt anyone.

294
00:11:47,452 --> 00:11:50,453
Oh, cool. So you don't mind if
I distribute that to everyone,

295
00:11:50,455 --> 00:11:53,523
and you get arrested and
disbarred and sent to prison

296
00:11:53,525 --> 00:11:55,125
for solicitation of murder for hire

297
00:11:55,127 --> 00:11:58,295
under federal statute 18, U.S.C. 1958?

298
00:11:59,659 --> 00:12:04,339
Whee! I'm your boyfriend again.

299
00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:07,762
?

300
00:12:13,322 --> 00:12:16,189
Mm, any update on that
Jessica Alba charity event?

301
00:12:16,191 --> 00:12:18,124
I told you, we're not
getting that party.

302
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:20,794
Every event planning company
in town is pursuing it.

303
00:12:20,796 --> 00:12:22,280
But you know her.

304
00:12:22,305 --> 00:12:24,097
I L.A. know her. I spun next to her,

305
00:12:24,099 --> 00:12:25,844
I juiced behind her, and one time,

306
00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:27,539
I was at a gifting
suite in front of her.

307
00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:28,763
That's the extent of it.

308
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:31,433
I texted her assistant, but
we're not gonna hear back.

309
00:12:31,435 --> 00:12:32,867
Beth, we need a really cool party

310
00:12:32,869 --> 00:12:35,048
to get a lot of attention
and raise our profile.

311
00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:38,848
I mean, nothing could
possibly lower our profile.

312
00:12:38,873 --> 00:12:41,142
We work out of a
children's baseball bar.

313
00:12:41,373 --> 00:12:44,561
I just want to work on classy
events with classy people.

314
00:12:44,741 --> 00:12:46,170
What up, Home Base?

315
00:12:46,195 --> 00:12:49,828
DJ Disc Joshy is in the house!

316
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:50,985
? Always ?

317
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,954
Oh, God, he's terrible.

318
00:12:52,956 --> 00:12:54,689
How did he even do... ?

319
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,858
? Everything that I do... ?

320
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:58,225
Hey, Valencia.

321
00:12:58,762 --> 00:13:01,329
Hey, Valencia's girlfriend,
because she has girlfriends now,

322
00:13:01,331 --> 00:13:02,931
and that's so cool.

323
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:06,067
Hey, Josh. Uh, you know,
you can call me Beth now.

324
00:13:06,069 --> 00:13:07,201
We've met a couple times.

325
00:13:07,226 --> 00:13:10,138
- See? You're so cool.
- Thank you.

326
00:13:10,140 --> 00:13:11,600
Turn that thing off. We're working.

327
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,006
Oh. I know you're working,

328
00:13:13,031 --> 00:13:14,366
and that's exactly why I'm here.

329
00:13:14,391 --> 00:13:17,278
Here to pitch to you my DJ services.

330
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:20,537
Oh, I've been deejaying
at my club, and I ran

331
00:13:20,562 --> 00:13:22,650
into Monica F. from high school,
who said her little sister's

332
00:13:22,652 --> 00:13:25,153
having a sweet 16 at the rec center,

333
00:13:25,155 --> 00:13:27,122
and she's gonna ask
you to plan the party.

334
00:13:27,459 --> 00:13:30,493
And I got your DJ right here.

335
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,397
Me. It's me.

336
00:13:33,763 --> 00:13:35,340
I'm not doing that party.

337
00:13:35,365 --> 00:13:36,772
She already asked me; I said no.

338
00:13:36,797 --> 00:13:39,734
V, we can't turn down
events, any events.

339
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,319
We work here.

340
00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:43,071
We have to buy onion rings every hour

341
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:44,539
just to keep the Wi-Fi going.

342
00:13:44,541 --> 00:13:45,640
We're doing the party.

343
00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:47,375
Awesome. Hire me.

344
00:13:47,377 --> 00:13:49,613
- I'll do it for free.
- Great, you're hired.

345
00:13:49,638 --> 00:13:51,045
Also, you're not very
good at negotiating.

346
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,514
Okay, fine.

347
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:53,715
But if we're doing it,

348
00:13:53,717 --> 00:13:55,783
we're doing it my way, chic and elegant.

349
00:13:55,785 --> 00:13:57,433
Great. As long as I pick the music.

350
00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,586
Absolutely not.

351
00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,255
But that's all a DJ does.

352
00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:02,550
No. They also bring in
equipment and push buttons.

353
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,371
But can we at least do the Royal?

354
00:14:04,396 --> 00:14:06,441
I've been dying for a kid's party

355
00:14:06,466 --> 00:14:08,833
- to expose it to a new generation.
- The Royal?

356
00:14:08,858 --> 00:14:10,598
Oh, God, don't listen to him.

357
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,792
Shut up about it, Josh.

358
00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:13,769
Oh, the Royal is the best.

359
00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:16,571
Okay. Uh, it's a dance Valencia
and I did in high school

360
00:14:16,573 --> 00:14:19,027
when we were voted
homecoming queen and king.

361
00:14:19,052 --> 00:14:21,075
Royal, get it?

362
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:23,044
- Oh, yeah. 'Cause of...
- I said, shut up.

363
00:14:23,046 --> 00:14:24,449
Josh, no Royal,

364
00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:26,941
no cheesy music; that
is not my personal brand.

365
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:30,836
Whatever you say. I... as long
as I got this gig, I'm happy.

366
00:14:30,861 --> 00:14:33,718
Fine. You've got the gig.

367
00:14:33,743 --> 00:14:35,510
Thank you.

368
00:14:35,535 --> 00:14:37,034
Also, never touch me again.

369
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:39,594
Oh, cool. Is she still like that?

370
00:14:39,596 --> 00:14:41,663
That takes me back to
when we were dating.

371
00:14:41,665 --> 00:14:44,324
But you know what I'm talking
about, right, Beth?

372
00:14:44,349 --> 00:14:46,149
I don't have that problem, Josh.

373
00:14:46,449 --> 00:14:48,883
Yeah. O-Okay.

374
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:51,372
Oh, so glad we're back together.

375
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:55,643
And that was a great
19th game of Scrabble.

376
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:59,948
Um, great bingo with "quixotry."

377
00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:04,385
Yeah. Triple letter score,
plus 50 bonus points... I win.

378
00:15:04,387 --> 00:15:05,787
Yeah. Well played.

379
00:15:05,789 --> 00:15:07,255
It's been so fun staying up all night.

380
00:15:07,257 --> 00:15:09,363
Um, hey, so could I
have my phone back now?

381
00:15:09,388 --> 00:15:12,308
No. First, we have to
play Settlers of Catan

382
00:15:12,333 --> 00:15:14,495
and then Ticket to Ride,
and then maybe we can talk

383
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,910
about you getting your phone back.

384
00:15:16,190 --> 00:15:18,347
Hey, instead of board games,

385
00:15:18,372 --> 00:15:22,230
how about we do something
more... immediate.

386
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,871
- Sex?
- No.

387
00:15:23,896 --> 00:15:26,007
Uh... I would like to...

388
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,394
show off...

389
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:30,922
my... pookie.

390
00:15:31,149 --> 00:15:33,057
Wait. Me?

391
00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:35,250
I'm your pookie?

392
00:15:35,574 --> 00:15:38,319
No one has ever called
me a pookie before.

393
00:15:38,321 --> 00:15:40,160
This is... crazy.

394
00:15:40,185 --> 00:15:41,823
Well, today's your lucky day.

395
00:15:41,825 --> 00:15:43,324
I would like to take you to my office

396
00:15:43,326 --> 00:15:44,559
and show you around.

397
00:15:44,561 --> 00:15:47,195
Everyone will be there
today, except for, sadly,

398
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,563
Nathaniel, he'll be in a meeting,

399
00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:49,731
but everyone else will be there.

400
00:15:49,733 --> 00:15:51,065
And you can see Paula.

401
00:15:51,067 --> 00:15:52,700
I-I didn't think we'd
get here this fast.

402
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,336
I mean, I-I didn't expect to
get here until around month four

403
00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:57,536
in our relationship, but
I knew you'd come around.

404
00:15:57,561 --> 00:15:59,841
Yes. Well, that's what's happening.

405
00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:01,709
Ooh, I got you a pretty dress

406
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,645
for when we promenade. I'll go get it.

407
00:16:03,647 --> 00:16:05,872
Great. Okay.

408
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,360
Say what we worked out in the car.

409
00:16:19,385 --> 00:16:21,445
Uh, hi, everybody.

410
00:16:21,470 --> 00:16:24,156
This is Trent, my ex.

411
00:16:24,181 --> 00:16:25,947
Uh, we're now back together.

412
00:16:25,972 --> 00:16:27,271
Yeah.

413
00:16:27,296 --> 00:16:29,281
Is there anything else you
want to say to this room full

414
00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:32,264
- of people, baby girl?
- Right. Um...

415
00:16:32,289 --> 00:16:33,941
I know that I said I wanted to live

416
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:35,219
a life of quiet loneliness,

417
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:39,000
but then... Trent came back.

418
00:16:39,025 --> 00:16:42,772
Um, Trent... is the love of my life.

419
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:44,152
He is

420
00:16:44,154 --> 00:16:46,914
the Pyramus to my Thisbe.

421
00:16:50,586 --> 00:16:53,961
Wow. That was, that was beautiful.

422
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,830
- Trent.
- Hey.

423
00:16:55,832 --> 00:16:57,094
So good to see you.

424
00:16:57,119 --> 00:16:59,820
- Thank you.
- Look at you two.

425
00:16:59,845 --> 00:17:03,289
Finally together. Will they? Won't they?
I guess they will.

426
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:05,000
So listen.

427
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,203
I have a gushing period,

428
00:17:07,228 --> 00:17:09,664
and I need Rebecca's help for
a minute, so can you spare her?

429
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:10,855
What kind of help?

430
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,531
Ah, okay.

431
00:17:12,556 --> 00:17:15,516
Well, you know, with me,
it's like a four-hand job.

432
00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:18,052
I mean, I got to... I'm
putting in menstrual cups,

433
00:17:18,054 --> 00:17:19,836
a-a tampon, maybe a pillow.

434
00:17:19,861 --> 00:17:21,723
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's
just... it's really...

435
00:17:21,725 --> 00:17:23,791
NC-17 graphic,

436
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,327
so can I go with her, um, my love?

437
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,961
Yes, of course. You know I think
menstruation is beautiful.

438
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:31,289
It's my favorite time of
the month to make love.

439
00:17:31,314 --> 00:17:32,377
Ugh.

440
00:17:32,402 --> 00:17:35,336
? Period sex, period sex. ?

441
00:17:35,338 --> 00:17:36,471
Nope. You don't get to sing that.

442
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,839
Okay. I'll be right back. Okay.

443
00:17:37,841 --> 00:17:41,008
Mmm... mwah.

444
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:43,277
Oh.

445
00:17:43,743 --> 00:17:45,702
- Bye.
- Hold on one second.

446
00:17:48,648 --> 00:17:50,671
Yes. I'm-I'm sorry I
missed the meeting today.

447
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:52,996
I've been, um, busy at the office.

448
00:17:53,021 --> 00:17:55,694
I'll have my assistant
reschedule. Mm-hmm.

449
00:18:13,706 --> 00:18:21,151
_

450
00:18:25,815 --> 00:18:29,023
Okay, Paula, it's bad. It's really bad.

451
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,901
And I need your help now.

452
00:18:38,152 --> 00:18:39,818
Rebecca, what is going on?

453
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:41,319
What's going on is I need your help.

454
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:42,754
Okay? And-and not Good Paula help.

455
00:18:42,756 --> 00:18:44,400
I need Bad Paula help.

456
00:18:44,425 --> 00:18:45,557
Right?

457
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:48,593
Not "I'm a lawyer and I want
to play by the rules now" Paula.

458
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:51,263
I need surveillance-
camera-in-the-brooch,

459
00:18:51,265 --> 00:18:53,331
tracking-device-in-the-shoulder
Paula, now.

460
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,934
- What? Why?
- Trent is blackmailing me.

461
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,515
How? What does he have on you?

462
00:19:00,362 --> 00:19:02,807
- I don't think you want to know.
- Why?

463
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,376
He just is, okay?

464
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,545
So I need your help. It's
nothing we haven't done before.

465
00:19:06,547 --> 00:19:07,879
Okay, but...

466
00:19:07,881 --> 00:19:09,648
Honey, all that scheming...

467
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:13,051
We have talked about
this... It is in the past.

468
00:19:13,053 --> 00:19:15,053
I have changed. You have changed.

469
00:19:15,055 --> 00:19:16,855
Yes. Yes, I have,

470
00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:19,191
but sometimes the past comes
back to bite you in the butt.

471
00:19:19,193 --> 00:19:20,725
Oh, hey, look, if he's threatening you

472
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,562
with something serious, then
let's just go to the police.

473
00:19:23,564 --> 00:19:25,330
No, we can't go to the police;
that's how blackmail works.

474
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,799
- That's why blackmail works.
- I'm sorry,

475
00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:30,135
but I want to be a lawyer,
and breaking the law

476
00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:33,464
is not a good idea for me right now.

477
00:19:35,950 --> 00:19:38,350
Okay. Okay.

478
00:19:39,382 --> 00:19:41,436
Okay, okay.

479
00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:49,124
Paula, I...

480
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,741
I didn't want to say this.

481
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,858
I really didn't, but...

482
00:19:56,515 --> 00:19:59,044
Trent doesn't just have dirt on me,

483
00:19:59,069 --> 00:20:01,203
he has dirt on you, too.

484
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,035
Yeah, and it's bad stuff.

485
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,470
It's-it's all the stuff.

486
00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,606
It's the surveillance, it's the bugging,

487
00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:09,140
it's the brick through the window,

488
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:10,709
the shoulder trackers, obviously.

489
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,477
- Oh, my God.
- And, Paula,

490
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:13,845
I just...

491
00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:15,447
you're in your second
year of law school,

492
00:20:15,449 --> 00:20:17,115
and you're basically already
the best lawyer I know,

493
00:20:17,117 --> 00:20:18,850
and Trent wants to take
that all away from you.

494
00:20:18,852 --> 00:20:20,929
- Oh, my God.
- He could get us both in trouble.

495
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:22,454
He could get us both arrested.

496
00:20:22,456 --> 00:20:25,183
So, really, I'm here because
I'm looking out for you.

497
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:29,232
I'm looking out for you and
your dreams and your family.

498
00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:31,529
So all we have to do,
we just have to do,

499
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,065
just some teeny, teeny,
teeny, tiny things, huh?

500
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,600
Let's take back his power.

501
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,769
Let's blackmail the blackmailer.

502
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:39,504
I really don't want to do this.

503
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:40,841
Neither do I.

504
00:20:41,513 --> 00:20:42,674
But we have no choice.

505
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:43,742
Both of us, right?

506
00:20:44,607 --> 00:20:47,078
I guess you're right?

507
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,281
So come on. Hmm?

508
00:20:49,587 --> 00:20:51,396
One last time.

509
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:57,722
I'll help you. It's like...

510
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,993
? ?

511
00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:10,035
? Back in action,
back on the street ?

512
00:21:10,037 --> 00:21:13,538
? Back in the saddle or
some other kind of seat ?

513
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:16,274
? We're back in action,
getting things done ?

514
00:21:16,276 --> 00:21:17,909
? Getting geared up ?

515
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:19,244
? For some action-based fun ?

516
00:21:19,246 --> 00:21:21,579
? We're like buddy cops ?

517
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:22,914
? But we're not cops ?

518
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,249
? We're buddies, for whom ?

519
00:21:24,251 --> 00:21:25,617
? The action never stops ?

520
00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:27,452
? We're both super into this ?

521
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,621
? That much is clear ?

522
00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:31,156
? We're on the same page ?

523
00:21:31,158 --> 00:21:32,824
? We got nothin' to fear ?

524
00:21:32,826 --> 00:21:35,493
? So we're back in
action, back in the game ?

525
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:38,763
? Back on the road,
with a little back pain ?

526
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:39,898
? 'Cause we've gotten older ?

527
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:42,067
? Than we used to be ?

528
00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:43,468
? Back when we were ?

529
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,970
- ? Super actiony... ?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

530
00:21:51,912 --> 00:21:55,213
Do we really need a
guitar solo right now?

531
00:21:55,215 --> 00:21:57,082
Can we please just keep
working on the case?

532
00:21:57,084 --> 00:21:58,183
Sorry. You're right.

533
00:21:58,185 --> 00:21:59,451
Back to it!

534
00:21:59,453 --> 00:22:01,319
? And now we're back in action ?

535
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:02,987
? Back at it again ?

536
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,524
? Just me and her,
two actiony friends ?

537
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,593
? Adrenaline's pumping
in the heat of the night ?

538
00:22:08,595 --> 00:22:12,063
? We're back in action... ?

539
00:22:14,682 --> 00:22:17,331
- Well, all right... ?
- ? Well, all right! ?

540
00:22:20,107 --> 00:22:22,140
Okay, so is everything okay
at the house with Trent?

541
00:22:22,142 --> 00:22:24,175
I mean, he's not making you do any...

542
00:22:24,620 --> 00:22:26,344
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.

543
00:22:26,346 --> 00:22:29,013
Okay. He's just sleeping at the
foot of the bed like he always does.

544
00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,482
Ah. I got to say,

545
00:22:30,484 --> 00:22:32,317
for a blackmailer,
he's decent on consent.

546
00:22:32,319 --> 00:22:33,351
Hmm.

547
00:22:33,353 --> 00:22:35,585
I did let him give me
a-a pedicure, though.

548
00:22:35,889 --> 00:22:38,523
He used this amazing vanilla foot scrub.

549
00:22:38,796 --> 00:22:40,091
Anyway, we need to know two things.

550
00:22:40,093 --> 00:22:41,826
One, the name of the
foot scrub, and two,

551
00:22:41,828 --> 00:22:43,862
we don't have anything
to blackmail him with yet.

552
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:45,163
I know, and I couldn't sleep all night,

553
00:22:45,165 --> 00:22:47,732
because I just kept thinking
about all the different things

554
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,934
that he could get us in trouble for.

555
00:22:51,304 --> 00:22:53,371
I mean, why did I do all those things?

556
00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:55,573
No, no, no. Hey. Don't
beat yourself up, okay?

557
00:22:55,575 --> 00:22:56,741
We're-we're gonna get him.

558
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,777
Okay. You're right. We're gonna get him.

559
00:22:58,779 --> 00:23:00,779
We're gonna get him. Okay.

560
00:23:00,781 --> 00:23:01,980
Okay, Trent.

561
00:23:01,982 --> 00:23:04,249
- Where do you go all day?
- _

562
00:23:04,615 --> 00:23:06,985
Oh. It looks like he just
turned left off of East Cameron,

563
00:23:06,987 --> 00:23:08,553
and he's heading towards...

564
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,455
- South Cameron?
- Ooh.

565
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,724
I mean, that's like the
Knockturn Alley of West Covina.

566
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:15,026
It's the place in Harry
Potter where bad things happen.

567
00:23:15,028 --> 00:23:15,894
You don't care. It's fine.

568
00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:17,128
Okay, it looks like he's...

569
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:19,330
he's actually at the South
Cameron storage facility.

570
00:23:19,332 --> 00:23:21,212
That place is shady.

571
00:23:21,368 --> 00:23:22,667
Yeah, no, I've seen a bunch of cases

572
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,602
where coyotes use it
as-as drop-off points.

573
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:27,962
Oh, if he's mixed up with them.

574
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:30,041
Wait, he is mixed up with coyotes.

575
00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:31,976
- What?
- Well, he told me all about it.

576
00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:36,419
They taught him how to survive,
how to howl, how to eat lizards.

577
00:23:36,444 --> 00:23:39,461
Do you think they followed him
to West Covina from the desert?

578
00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:41,453
Oh, my God, that's so cute.

579
00:23:41,455 --> 00:23:42,654
That's a Pixar movie.

580
00:23:43,538 --> 00:23:46,724
Rebecca, do you think
smugglers eat lizards?

581
00:23:46,936 --> 00:23:48,636
What are you talking about, smugglers?

582
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:51,028
Smugglers are called "coyotes."

583
00:23:52,566 --> 00:23:54,566
Oh, okay. That makes a lot more sense.

584
00:23:54,568 --> 00:23:56,294
- Yeah.
- So those montage visuals

585
00:23:56,327 --> 00:23:57,802
were from my point of view.

586
00:23:57,804 --> 00:24:00,038
- Yeah... oh, yeah.
- He's talking about smugglers, then.

587
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,873
- Wait, he's talking about the...
- Oh, he's talking about the...

588
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:03,374
- Totally can use it to blackmail him.
- Wait, wait.

589
00:24:03,376 --> 00:24:06,077
If he's doing illegal stuff
like-like weapons and...

590
00:24:06,079 --> 00:24:07,145
- drugs.
- Drugs.

591
00:24:07,147 --> 00:24:08,780
Yeah, we can use that to neutralize him.

592
00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:10,181
Oh, my God, and then
it'll all be behind us,

593
00:24:10,183 --> 00:24:11,749
and we can get back to
our lives and our families

594
00:24:11,751 --> 00:24:13,117
and-and my finals.

595
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,452
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. See?

596
00:24:14,454 --> 00:24:15,987
I told you this was
just a little speed bump,

597
00:24:15,989 --> 00:24:18,656
and then we can go back to
being upstanding citizens.

598
00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,225
Okay.

599
00:24:20,227 --> 00:24:22,207
Yeah.

600
00:24:22,232 --> 00:24:25,497
Okay, make sure those
are alternating color.

601
00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,234
Mm-hmm.

602
00:24:29,236 --> 00:24:31,169
Mm-hmm,
mm-hmm.

603
00:24:31,171 --> 00:24:34,072
- Good...
- Um, e-excuse me,

604
00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:35,106
Ms. Valencia?

605
00:24:35,108 --> 00:24:37,091
So, what do you think, Janie?

606
00:24:37,116 --> 00:24:39,944
Um, I wanted a theme.

607
00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:41,746
Something like Riverdale?

608
00:24:41,748 --> 00:24:45,132
Please, Janie, none of your friends
are hot enough to be on Riverdale.

609
00:24:45,157 --> 00:24:46,751
And there is a theme.

610
00:24:46,753 --> 00:24:49,554
It's the Jazz Age. 1920s.
Like Great Gatsby.

611
00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:50,688
Ha-cha.

612
00:24:50,690 --> 00:24:51,789
Okay.

613
00:24:52,064 --> 00:24:55,159
So are there gonna be glow sticks, then?

614
00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:56,794
Well, now you're just
trying to provoke me.

615
00:24:56,796 --> 00:24:58,396
Now go put on your sequined headband

616
00:24:58,398 --> 00:24:59,998
and floor-length pearl necklace.

617
00:25:00,406 --> 00:25:02,033
Okay, fine.

618
00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:04,662
And don't forget your ivory
cigarette holder and hip flask.

619
00:25:04,687 --> 00:25:07,071
Today is your day, Janie.

620
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:08,506
Janie's loving this.

621
00:25:08,508 --> 00:25:11,676
- Yeah, she seems super stoked.
- She's fine.

622
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:14,732
We're giving her a tasteful,
sophisticated, upscale event

623
00:25:14,757 --> 00:25:16,881
with photos that will
help promote our business.

624
00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:19,551
Oh, God knows that's
what every teenager wants.

625
00:25:20,687 --> 00:25:21,786
Hey, check it out.

626
00:25:21,968 --> 00:25:24,468
DJ Disc Joshy's in the house.

627
00:25:26,382 --> 00:25:27,792
You look great.

628
00:25:27,794 --> 00:25:29,294
I'm so hot, and it's so tight,

629
00:25:29,296 --> 00:25:30,795
I can't even raise the roof... look.

630
00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:32,897
See? Are you watching me do it?

631
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:34,566
I mean, how am I
supposed to do the Royal

632
00:25:34,568 --> 00:25:36,100
when I can't even raise my arms?

633
00:25:36,102 --> 00:25:38,240
I told you, no Royal.

634
00:25:38,265 --> 00:25:40,972
Just pretend not to be a
lame townie for ten seconds.

635
00:25:40,974 --> 00:25:42,718
It's so embarrassing.

636
00:25:42,743 --> 00:25:44,686
Now go fire up some Lindy hop.

637
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:46,878
Kids will be here any second.

638
00:25:46,903 --> 00:25:49,070
Thanking you.

639
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,183
Come on.

640
00:25:52,185 --> 00:25:53,818
He's a nice guy.

641
00:26:00,678 --> 00:26:02,844
Hey.

642
00:26:03,922 --> 00:26:05,563
Thanks for coming, uh...

643
00:26:05,565 --> 00:26:07,599
I have something I want to ask you.

644
00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:12,437
You're only putting one
butt cheek on the chair.

645
00:26:12,439 --> 00:26:14,105
That's fair. I deserve that.

646
00:26:14,107 --> 00:26:16,708
Um, look, I know I've
been AWOL recently,

647
00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:18,009
but work's been really busy...

648
00:26:18,011 --> 00:26:19,310
I've been really busy, too.

649
00:26:19,312 --> 00:26:21,679
I launched a new campaign
for one of our overseas funds,

650
00:26:21,681 --> 00:26:24,649
but weirdly, my phone worked
while all that was happening.

651
00:26:24,651 --> 00:26:25,817
I'm sorry.

652
00:26:25,819 --> 00:26:27,585
- It's really rude.
- Yeah.

653
00:26:27,587 --> 00:26:29,754
We've been together for a
while, and you just ghosted on me

654
00:26:29,756 --> 00:26:30,955
for a few days.

655
00:26:30,957 --> 00:26:32,490
I was stupid.

656
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:34,754
Okay? But it won't happen again.

657
00:26:35,379 --> 00:26:37,428
I want to make sure
we never go a few days

658
00:26:37,430 --> 00:26:39,097
without speaking to each other.

659
00:26:39,559 --> 00:26:41,012
So...

660
00:26:41,801 --> 00:26:43,745
... why don't we move in together?

661
00:26:44,598 --> 00:26:45,970
Really?

662
00:26:45,972 --> 00:26:48,139
You're asking me to move in with you

663
00:26:48,141 --> 00:26:51,376
after not calling me for
three days? That's bold.

664
00:26:51,378 --> 00:26:53,401
Well, I figured that, you know,
you and I have been together

665
00:26:53,426 --> 00:26:56,080
- for a few months now, and...
- Okay, cool.

666
00:26:56,379 --> 00:26:58,282
So, if we move in together,

667
00:26:58,369 --> 00:27:01,237
that means you'll stop
sleeping with Rebecca Bunch?

668
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:14,660
What's he doing?

669
00:27:14,685 --> 00:27:16,618
I don't know, I mean,
I can't see what he's doing.

670
00:27:16,643 --> 00:27:19,577
Nope... is he leaving? No, wait.

671
00:27:30,256 --> 00:27:31,989
Okay. Okay.

672
00:27:31,991 --> 00:27:34,859
- And... scamper.
- Scamper.

673
00:27:37,613 --> 00:27:39,864
- Aah!
- Oh, you all right?

674
00:27:39,866 --> 00:27:41,466
Shh, shh.

675
00:27:41,468 --> 00:27:43,067
Who are we hiding from? He's gone.

676
00:27:43,069 --> 00:27:45,303
- Shh!
- Okay.

677
00:27:51,722 --> 00:27:54,589
An anodized steel double
bolt tri-magnetite lock?

678
00:27:56,239 --> 00:27:58,339
I thought you were gonna
give me a challenge, Trent.

679
00:27:58,364 --> 00:28:00,063
Do you need the bolt
cutters from the car?

680
00:28:00,088 --> 00:28:01,788
Nah.

681
00:28:01,813 --> 00:28:03,580
Your earring.

682
00:28:03,757 --> 00:28:04,989
Mm-hmm.

683
00:28:06,860 --> 00:28:11,796
Come to... Mama.

684
00:28:16,876 --> 00:28:19,366
Let's get some dirt on
that turtlenecked psycho.

685
00:28:22,949 --> 00:28:27,960
- Oh...
- Oh...

686
00:28:30,817 --> 00:28:33,460
How did you know I was
sleeping with Rebecca?

687
00:28:34,454 --> 00:28:37,822
I wasn't sure, but thank you, now I am.

688
00:28:37,824 --> 00:28:39,757
Oh-oh, God, I'm so sorry, Mona.

689
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:42,390
I-I... but it's over
between her and I, I swear.

690
00:28:42,415 --> 00:28:44,572
Hey, it's fine, I
mean, for all you know,

691
00:28:44,597 --> 00:28:46,726
I've been sleeping with other
people the whole time, too.

692
00:28:49,035 --> 00:28:50,984
- Were you?
- No.

693
00:28:51,023 --> 00:28:53,999
Got some good offers, but
I liked the guy I was seeing

694
00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,710
and I was hoping he'd come around.

695
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:57,135
Which is pathetic, I know.

696
00:28:57,477 --> 00:29:00,101
My therapist, Dr. Akopian...
He's great, by the way...

697
00:29:00,126 --> 00:29:02,656
He keeps asking me, "Why are
you waiting around for this guy?

698
00:29:02,681 --> 00:29:04,577
Especially if you don't trust him?"

699
00:29:04,765 --> 00:29:05,897
I'm so sorry.

700
00:29:05,899 --> 00:29:08,066
I'm a jerk. Okay?

701
00:29:08,068 --> 00:29:11,470
I don't know why I did that to
you, but it won't happen again.

702
00:29:11,472 --> 00:29:13,405
I should have spoken up sooner.

703
00:29:14,609 --> 00:29:17,586
But people like us, we
were not raised to confront.

704
00:29:17,921 --> 00:29:19,478
Or be honest.

705
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,512
You know, we're WASPs.

706
00:29:20,514 --> 00:29:22,549
Our parents treat their marriages

707
00:29:22,574 --> 00:29:24,507
like business arrangements.

708
00:29:25,429 --> 00:29:26,999
I don't want that.

709
00:29:27,890 --> 00:29:29,698
I want something real.

710
00:29:30,023 --> 00:29:31,256
Wow.

711
00:29:31,258 --> 00:29:33,124
I mean, that's what I want, too.

712
00:29:33,126 --> 00:29:36,394
I-I think I didn't realize
that I could have that with you.

713
00:29:36,396 --> 00:29:37,896
Then you're an idiot.

714
00:29:38,164 --> 00:29:39,663
Yeah.

715
00:29:41,101 --> 00:29:43,124
So...

716
00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:45,696
where does that leave us?

717
00:29:48,575 --> 00:29:50,208
Let's just start with dinner.

718
00:29:51,478 --> 00:29:53,478
I love the bacon-wrapped dates here.

719
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:54,648
Okay.

720
00:29:55,582 --> 00:29:57,382
Oh, God.

721
00:29:57,384 --> 00:29:59,359
What the hell?

722
00:30:09,963 --> 00:30:12,297
I mean, this is so much underwear.

723
00:30:12,299 --> 00:30:13,913
So much underwear.

724
00:30:14,535 --> 00:30:16,835
Okay, so he's been...
He's been stalking me

725
00:30:16,837 --> 00:30:17,936
since the moment we met.

726
00:30:17,938 --> 00:30:19,571
Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

727
00:30:19,573 --> 00:30:20,772
Look at...

728
00:30:20,774 --> 00:30:22,474
Oh, look at all the sex
books. Lots of sex books.

729
00:30:22,476 --> 00:30:23,909
Okay.

730
00:30:23,911 --> 00:30:25,911
All right.

731
00:30:25,913 --> 00:30:27,627
Socks right here.

732
00:30:29,149 --> 00:30:30,776
Wait a second.

733
00:30:31,885 --> 00:30:33,318
These are all my socks.

734
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,887
Every-every pair of socks I have

735
00:30:35,889 --> 00:30:37,322
has one sock missing.

736
00:30:37,324 --> 00:30:39,540
I have been wearing mismatched socks

737
00:30:39,565 --> 00:30:41,092
ever since I got to West Covina.

738
00:30:41,094 --> 00:30:42,627
Look it. Look it. How do I not... ?

739
00:30:42,629 --> 00:30:44,329
I always wear mismatched socks.

740
00:30:44,331 --> 00:30:46,364
I look the host of a Nickelodeon show!

741
00:30:46,366 --> 00:30:48,127
Honey, that's not right.

742
00:30:48,335 --> 00:30:50,502
Oh! Oh, geez.

743
00:30:52,239 --> 00:30:55,174
Okay, this is just all ramen.

744
00:30:55,199 --> 00:30:57,242
Shrimp-flavored ramen.

745
00:30:57,244 --> 00:30:58,573
I mean, even his choice of
ramen flavor is upsetting.

746
00:31:00,914 --> 00:31:01,980
Hey.

747
00:31:01,982 --> 00:31:03,648
Ooh. Damn, damn, damn.

748
00:31:03,650 --> 00:31:04,716
Look at this, look at this. Ooh.

749
00:31:04,718 --> 00:31:07,074
This definitely has a whole

750
00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:09,120
"hide my weapons and
drugs" type vibe, right?

751
00:31:09,122 --> 00:31:10,155
Yes.

752
00:31:10,157 --> 00:31:11,723
Although, mm,

753
00:31:11,725 --> 00:31:13,892
this is not the first
time on a caper you, or I,

754
00:31:13,894 --> 00:31:16,127
have thought that
someone was dealing drugs.

755
00:31:16,129 --> 00:31:17,696
But this time is different.

756
00:31:17,698 --> 00:31:19,631
- Oh, okay.
- Okay, does it have a lock?

757
00:31:19,633 --> 00:31:20,999
Or a combination?

758
00:31:21,001 --> 00:31:22,400
Um, actually, no.

759
00:31:22,402 --> 00:31:25,160
There's... there-there's
really no lock.

760
00:31:25,372 --> 00:31:26,838
Cool. I'm going in.

761
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,039
Oh. You know what?

762
00:31:28,041 --> 00:31:30,175
I don't think...

763
00:31:32,112 --> 00:31:35,644
... don't think we should open it.

764
00:31:37,056 --> 00:31:39,433
Yeah, it's never drugs.

765
00:31:50,238 --> 00:31:52,272
Man, I am so glad you're here

766
00:31:52,274 --> 00:31:54,136
visiting Rebecca again.

767
00:31:54,161 --> 00:31:57,362
Oh, my God, these
portobello puffs are so good.

768
00:31:57,387 --> 00:31:59,738
Oh, the secret is clarified
butter and cayenne.

769
00:31:59,934 --> 00:32:01,660
Oops. Secret's out.

770
00:32:01,685 --> 00:32:03,527
I mean, I don't know what
other pregnancies are like,

771
00:32:03,552 --> 00:32:06,052
but when I'm pregnant I crave your food.

772
00:32:06,207 --> 00:32:07,674
Cool.

773
00:32:09,944 --> 00:32:11,244
Oh, no.

774
00:32:11,246 --> 00:32:13,579
Oh, baby girl, no.

775
00:32:13,581 --> 00:32:15,314
I found my missing socks.

776
00:32:15,316 --> 00:32:16,382
What happened?

777
00:32:16,384 --> 00:32:18,518
Did you sleep with the Hulk impersonator

778
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,786
on Hollywood Boulevard?

779
00:32:19,788 --> 00:32:20,853
There's a hot one.

780
00:32:20,855 --> 00:32:21,854
No, she didn't.

781
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:23,790
It's my love test. You failed it.

782
00:32:24,535 --> 00:32:25,949
You've broken my heart.

783
00:32:25,974 --> 00:32:28,714
Okay, feels like you guys
have some things to work out,

784
00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:32,167
so I'm just gonna take these
tasty treats to go in my room.

785
00:32:32,767 --> 00:32:35,868
Trent, you booby-trapped
that trunk just for me?

786
00:32:35,870 --> 00:32:37,277
Yes, I did.

787
00:32:37,302 --> 00:32:39,235
I don't understand
why you don't trust me.

788
00:32:39,260 --> 00:32:40,621
Trust you?

789
00:32:41,576 --> 00:32:43,409
Trent, you're blackmailing me.

790
00:32:43,411 --> 00:32:44,544
Our relationship is

791
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:47,613
90% based on fear and
ten percent on the hope

792
00:32:47,615 --> 00:32:49,660
that you'll make that fusilli
with duck ragout again.

793
00:32:49,685 --> 00:32:51,752
Why don't you love me?

794
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:54,654
What's standing in the way of that?

795
00:32:54,656 --> 00:32:56,422
You.

796
00:32:56,424 --> 00:32:59,258
God, you should know by
now that I'm not interested.

797
00:32:59,260 --> 00:33:01,260
How would I know that?

798
00:33:01,262 --> 00:33:04,397
You've encouraged my attentions
every step of the way.

799
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:06,399
You brought me here to pretend

800
00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,533
to be your boyfriend.

801
00:33:07,535 --> 00:33:09,168
You let me cook for
you and clean for you.

802
00:33:09,170 --> 00:33:10,603
You took my virginity.

803
00:33:10,605 --> 00:33:13,016
You've given me all these little
pieces of love along the way,

804
00:33:13,041 --> 00:33:14,640
these love kernels.

805
00:33:14,642 --> 00:33:16,175
Hmm.

806
00:33:16,177 --> 00:33:17,376
Well, you know what?

807
00:33:17,378 --> 00:33:19,245
Love kernels aren't reality.

808
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,824
So get over it.

809
00:33:21,307 --> 00:33:23,616
You know, I thought we
were written in the stars,

810
00:33:23,618 --> 00:33:25,885
Rebecca Bunch.

811
00:33:25,887 --> 00:33:27,553
But I guess I was wrong.

812
00:33:27,555 --> 00:33:28,855
Trent, as someone who
used to think things

813
00:33:28,857 --> 00:33:30,573
were written in the
stars, take it from me,

814
00:33:30,959 --> 00:33:32,492
those feelings are not real.

815
00:33:33,112 --> 00:33:35,361
So blackmail me all you want.

816
00:33:35,565 --> 00:33:37,540
I'm never gonna love you.

817
00:33:38,549 --> 00:33:40,666
Okay.

818
00:33:40,668 --> 00:33:42,869
Wow.

819
00:33:42,871 --> 00:33:44,670
That was so mean.

820
00:33:47,914 --> 00:33:52,311
I'll remember those words
under a veil of my own tears.

821
00:33:52,313 --> 00:33:53,780
I'm gonna go.

822
00:33:55,336 --> 00:33:58,217
Here. Here.

823
00:33:58,219 --> 00:34:01,047
This is everything I have on you.

824
00:34:01,703 --> 00:34:04,924
It's all printed e-mails so it's
mainly just a symbolic gesture,

825
00:34:04,926 --> 00:34:06,559
but that's everything.

826
00:34:13,401 --> 00:34:16,159
- Good-bye, baby girl.
- Get out, Trent.

827
00:34:16,481 --> 00:34:18,014
Hey.

828
00:34:18,039 --> 00:34:22,034
Um, are the bacon-wrapped dates ready?

829
00:34:22,131 --> 00:34:23,698
Turn 'em over in five.

830
00:34:23,912 --> 00:34:25,812
They'll be ready in 20.

831
00:34:26,305 --> 00:34:27,871
Pookie out.

832
00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:34,220
So, did you want to
turn the dates over or...

833
00:34:34,222 --> 00:34:35,888
I will turn them over.

834
00:34:37,926 --> 00:34:41,961
Okay, I'll just wait in my room.

835
00:34:41,963 --> 00:34:43,596
Wait.

836
00:34:56,945 --> 00:34:58,277
Hey, honey, what's up?

837
00:34:58,279 --> 00:35:00,425
Paula, it's done. We did it.

838
00:35:00,915 --> 00:35:04,250
- Trent's gone.
- He is? Really?

839
00:35:04,252 --> 00:35:06,719
- J-Just like that?
- Yeah. The whole thing was some sort of

840
00:35:06,721 --> 00:35:09,155
dumb love test or something.

841
00:35:09,157 --> 00:35:11,557
It's fine and he
destroyed all the evidence.

842
00:35:11,559 --> 00:35:12,659
So it's over.

843
00:35:12,961 --> 00:35:14,894
He's just
gonna leave us alone.

844
00:35:14,896 --> 00:35:16,596
We're safe?

845
00:35:16,598 --> 00:35:18,764
Oh, my God, I was so scared.

846
00:35:18,766 --> 00:35:21,234
Listen, God, thank you for everything.

847
00:35:21,667 --> 00:35:23,402
Oh, Paula, you're my best friend and...

848
00:35:23,404 --> 00:35:24,770
Okay, all right. I got to go.

849
00:35:24,772 --> 00:35:26,072
Bye, honey.

850
00:35:26,074 --> 00:35:27,707
Okay. Oh.

851
00:35:34,983 --> 00:35:36,449
Hey, kids.

852
00:35:36,451 --> 00:35:39,385
It's time for another Charleston again.

853
00:35:39,387 --> 00:35:42,388
And, uh, there are more
bacon-wrapped dates.

854
00:35:42,629 --> 00:35:46,459
Eat 'em while you can before
it's the Great Depression.

855
00:35:50,918 --> 00:35:53,099
Jessica Alba would love
this party, don't you think?

856
00:35:53,101 --> 00:35:55,468
Oh, yeah, I... I forgot to tell you.

857
00:35:55,470 --> 00:35:56,569
We didn't get it.

858
00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:58,104
They went with the
winner of Teen Chopped.

859
00:35:58,106 --> 00:36:00,773
Ugh, damn it. I can't believe
we didn't get that party.

860
00:36:00,775 --> 00:36:02,398
- Valencia.
- What?

861
00:36:02,423 --> 00:36:04,070
We already have a party.

862
00:36:04,812 --> 00:36:06,312
It's right here

863
00:36:06,314 --> 00:36:07,680
and it sucks.

864
00:36:07,682 --> 00:36:10,249
Of course it sucks because
it's in this stupid town

865
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,218
- with these stupid people.
- Stop it.

866
00:36:12,220 --> 00:36:14,020
That's an awful way to talk.

867
00:36:14,022 --> 00:36:15,562
You're from here.

868
00:36:15,587 --> 00:36:17,690
So what? You're from
a stupid, small town.

869
00:36:17,692 --> 00:36:19,659
So was I before I moved to L.A.

870
00:36:19,661 --> 00:36:21,360
So are a lot of people.

871
00:36:21,362 --> 00:36:23,496
Don't be ashamed of where you come from

872
00:36:23,498 --> 00:36:25,665
or who you are.

873
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,259
He's not.

874
00:36:29,466 --> 00:36:32,505
And that's what makes him ridiculous.

875
00:36:32,507 --> 00:36:34,333
That's actually what makes him cool.

876
00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:36,208
It might be the only
thing that makes him cool,

877
00:36:36,210 --> 00:36:37,910
but, for the love of God,

878
00:36:37,912 --> 00:36:40,613
embrace this party and make it fun.

879
00:36:40,793 --> 00:36:42,527
Janie deserves that.

880
00:36:48,823 --> 00:36:50,856
- Hold my phone.
- Of course.

881
00:36:57,941 --> 00:37:01,734
All right, kids, let's
get this party started!

882
00:37:01,736 --> 00:37:02,835
? I know you know it ?

883
00:37:02,837 --> 00:37:04,603
? I can't control it ?

884
00:37:04,605 --> 00:37:06,739
? Call me the greatest
here in this moment ?

885
00:37:06,741 --> 00:37:08,474
? I know you know it,
I can't control it ?

886
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:10,876
? Call me the greatest... ?

887
00:37:10,878 --> 00:37:11,944
Do you remember it?

888
00:37:11,946 --> 00:37:14,780
How dare you. You know I do.

889
00:37:14,782 --> 00:37:16,983
? Watch me put in
work, do it so royally ?

890
00:37:16,985 --> 00:37:19,352
? I'm royalty, I'm royalty... ?

891
00:37:19,354 --> 00:37:22,804
Whoa. They're weirdly incredible.

892
00:37:23,257 --> 00:37:24,290
? So royally ?

893
00:37:24,292 --> 00:37:25,524
? Call me the greatest ?

894
00:37:25,526 --> 00:37:27,093
? Sing with the chorus ?

895
00:37:27,095 --> 00:37:29,095
? All hail the queen,
bow down to me... ?

896
00:37:29,097 --> 00:37:30,229
What is that dance called?

897
00:37:30,231 --> 00:37:31,864
It's called the Royal.

898
00:37:31,866 --> 00:37:33,833
Let's get everybody dancing.

899
00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:35,334
Hey, guys, get out there.

900
00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,236
Go dance. Come on. Have fun.

901
00:37:37,238 --> 00:37:38,604
? All hail the queen,
bow down to me ?

902
00:37:38,606 --> 00:37:40,840
? Step up on the scene
and they bow down to me ?

903
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,775
And bow down, put on your crown.

904
00:37:43,811 --> 00:37:47,079
Wave, wave, wave, wave.

905
00:37:47,081 --> 00:37:48,914
Put on your crown. Jump, jump, jump.

906
00:37:48,916 --> 00:37:50,249
Wave, wave.

907
00:37:50,251 --> 00:37:52,284
? All hail the queen,
bow down to me ?

908
00:37:52,286 --> 00:37:55,321
? Step up on the scene
and they bow down to me ?

909
00:37:55,323 --> 00:37:58,090
? All hail the queen, I'm royalty ?

910
00:37:58,092 --> 00:38:00,493
? Bow down to me, bow down to me. ?

911
00:38:11,074 --> 00:38:12,373
Hey.

912
00:38:13,677 --> 00:38:16,077
I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you.

913
00:38:16,079 --> 00:38:17,645
You're a really great DJ.

914
00:38:17,647 --> 00:38:19,280
Did a good job tonight.

915
00:38:19,282 --> 00:38:20,648
Thank you.

916
00:38:21,638 --> 00:38:24,185
And I'm also sorry that I
called you a lame townie.

917
00:38:24,505 --> 00:38:26,287
I mean, I'm a townie, too,

918
00:38:26,289 --> 00:38:28,122
but, I mean, I'm not lame.

919
00:38:28,124 --> 00:38:30,091
But I am from this place,

920
00:38:30,093 --> 00:38:33,928
I guess, and I'm okay with my past.

921
00:38:34,218 --> 00:38:35,644
Sort of.

922
00:38:35,669 --> 00:38:39,044
You know, I have this movie
poster in my room that says,

923
00:38:39,069 --> 00:38:42,503
"You Can't Run Away from Your
Past because It's Your Future."

924
00:38:43,171 --> 00:38:45,004
It's from Space Karate II.

925
00:38:46,127 --> 00:38:47,126
That's us.

926
00:38:47,394 --> 00:38:50,178
I feel a strange emotion towards you.

927
00:38:50,180 --> 00:38:52,246
- Respect?
- Never.

928
00:39:03,126 --> 00:39:04,726
Hey, Mama.

929
00:39:04,728 --> 00:39:06,995
Hey. I just wanted to, um...

930
00:39:06,997 --> 00:39:09,063
to thank you for all your help.

931
00:39:09,065 --> 00:39:10,898
Uh, I'm so glad everything worked out.

932
00:39:11,178 --> 00:39:13,534
Oh. I mean, I-I can't believe

933
00:39:13,536 --> 00:39:15,870
that I left myself open
to blackmail like that,

934
00:39:15,872 --> 00:39:18,439
and I did all those dumb things and...

935
00:39:18,441 --> 00:39:20,508
Just stop, okay? You
learned your lesson.

936
00:39:20,510 --> 00:39:22,210
We both learned our lesson.

937
00:39:22,212 --> 00:39:25,813
It's okay. I, uh, I just...

938
00:39:25,815 --> 00:39:27,782
I wanted to say that I'm so sorry.

939
00:39:27,784 --> 00:39:29,150
Oh, why are you sorry?

940
00:39:29,152 --> 00:39:31,753
I mean, it was Trent's fault.

941
00:39:32,656 --> 00:39:34,088
Right, it was Trent's fault.

942
00:39:34,090 --> 00:39:35,738
It was. I'm just...

943
00:39:37,441 --> 00:39:38,760
I'm just glad it's over.

944
00:39:38,762 --> 00:39:40,294
Yeah, me, too.

945
00:39:40,296 --> 00:39:41,496
Mmm.

946
00:39:43,533 --> 00:39:45,600
Oh.

947
00:39:48,705 --> 00:39:50,805
- Okay, I got to... get to it.
- Okay.

948
00:39:50,807 --> 00:39:53,608
Okay.

949
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,708
What's... going on?

950
00:40:13,263 --> 00:40:15,963
Hi. Um, I decided it would be best

951
00:40:15,965 --> 00:40:18,299
if you and I didn't
work in the same office,

952
00:40:18,301 --> 00:40:19,801
and since you're the senior partner,

953
00:40:19,803 --> 00:40:21,235
I moved in here with Darryl.

954
00:40:21,237 --> 00:40:23,404
He keeps pushing me to get a bunk desk.

955
00:40:23,624 --> 00:40:25,325
Oh.

956
00:40:25,475 --> 00:40:27,685
So you'll be here from now on?

957
00:40:27,877 --> 00:40:29,911
Yeah, I think it's best.

958
00:40:29,913 --> 00:40:32,180
You've moved on, obviously.

959
00:40:32,182 --> 00:40:33,481
I have?

960
00:40:33,483 --> 00:40:36,250
I saw your new boyfriend...
The, um, big guy

961
00:40:36,252 --> 00:40:37,996
with the... with the turtleneck?

962
00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:39,987
No. Oh, my God.

963
00:40:39,989 --> 00:40:41,389
Wait. You saw him?

964
00:40:41,391 --> 00:40:43,209
- You saw that?
- Yeah.

965
00:40:43,234 --> 00:40:45,802
And I'm glad I did. I
think I needed to see it.

966
00:40:45,827 --> 00:40:47,293
Made me fully appreciate

967
00:40:47,318 --> 00:40:50,531
that Mona is a lot better
for me than I realized.

968
00:40:50,533 --> 00:40:53,835
Oh. Wow.

969
00:40:53,837 --> 00:40:55,436
Cool.

970
00:40:55,438 --> 00:40:58,443
I can't believe I lied
to her for so long.

971
00:40:59,215 --> 00:41:01,249
But that's on me.

972
00:41:01,478 --> 00:41:04,312
- Well, hey, that's.. that's on me, too.
- No.

973
00:41:04,314 --> 00:41:06,848
You weren't cheating. I was cheating.

974
00:41:06,850 --> 00:41:09,217
Right, but what I did
wasn't great, either.

975
00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:12,687
I mean, sometimes I do
things that aren't great.

976
00:41:12,689 --> 00:41:14,655
No, you're good.

977
00:41:14,657 --> 00:41:17,358
I know you really well, Rebecca,
and you're a good person.

978
00:41:26,535 --> 00:41:28,736
Okay.

979
00:41:31,374 --> 00:41:33,875
Especially, like, all
this going on, it's just...

980
00:41:33,877 --> 00:41:37,211
- Yeah.
- That is actually the case.

981
00:41:39,115 --> 00:41:41,382
? ?

982
00:41:46,890 --> 00:41:49,957
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --