Michael is a monster? Pure evil?
That paradise you left behind?
I believe I'll take up residence.
Sort of need that pesky little rift.
I've assembled all the elements annotated in the angel tablets.
The key ingredient ... archangel grace.
This better work.
Ouch.
Asmodeus was my weakest creation.
Doesn't seem that weak to me.
That whole shape-shifty thing he does?
I-I didn't give him that.
Cass? What's happening?
I'll fill you in when I know more.
Someone got mad and broke his warding.
Good times.
Jack is gone. Mom is trapped in another reality.
We'll figure it out.
Dean, we don't have a plan. So, how?
I don't know, but we will.
This would be so much easier
if somebody would be a pal
and let me eat a little of his grace.
Oh, come on, Castiel. We just fought side by side.
You gotta trust me now, man.
Aah!
Told you I found a body.
See? Dead.
Lucifer!
Where are you?
- Oops! - Whoa!
Oh! Ah! Oh!
Whoa!
Oh!
I think I just fell for you.
I'll catch you any time you fall.
Thanks.
Nice job.
Another happy beginning.
Right...
Cupid?
== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man
Yeah.
That's very good.
But I need seconds.
Where can I find more angels? I-I-I...
Where do I find more angels?
I don't know.
There ... there ... there aren't m-many of us left.
Don't lie to me.
I'm not.
Please. Please.
Please. Oh, no.
Okay. Okay, Cupid.
Don't cry.
You know, without your grace, you're only human,
so you should be careful.
Accidents can happen.
Like that.
Sorry.
Let me get this straight.
You were kidnapped weeks ago, locked up.
Cass, I just talked to you on the phone.
No. No.
Asmodeus had my phone. You've been talking to him.
What did he want with you?
Well, they mostly wanted Lucifer. I just, uh...
I just happened to be in proximity.
Lucifer? No, no, no, he ... No, no, no.
We slammed his ass back in the Apocalypse World. How did ...
Kevin Tran. Kevin Tran?
The Apocalypse World version, yes.
He managed to open a rift using Lucifer's grace.
They have an angel tablet?
Yes.
And the Archangel Michael ...
again, Apocalypse World version ...
he wants to use the spell to invade and conquer our world.
That's why I met with Lucifer.
So you met w...
Cass, I specifically told you not to do anything stupid.
Well, he was weak,
and given the context of our imminent annihilation,
it didn't seem stupid.
Lucifer wanted to help fight Michael.
Oh, yeah. Right. Lucifer wanted to help. Sure.
If he were lying, I'd have known it.
He was...he was scared.
But Asmodeus showed up before we could finish our conversation.
And when we finally managed to escape,
Lucifer did try to kill me.
Well, so much for helping.
He say anything about our mom?
She's alive.
That's all I know. I'm sorry.
Nothing but humans.
Not a wing flapper in sight.
What? What are ya gawking at? You never seen
the Prince of Darkness before, pal?
Turn around. Come on, man.
What?
I hungry?
Ew.
Seriously?
Spare some change, man?
Bless you.
It was a simple task.
All these fools had to do was keep Lucifer on ice
until I returned from an important errand.
Frankly, I'm shocked you left.
I believe I said it was an important errand.
My initial thought was to take Lucifer prisoner.
That's proven to be, uh...
Monumentally stupid?
Indeed.
So, take two.
I want you to kill him.
Kill...the Devil?
Oh, he's runnin' on empty.
Nice angel blade to the heart, he'll go down.
Probably.
Do it fast, though, before he fills the tank.
And if he does?
Oh.
Oh, then I believe we're all dead.
Give me some money.
Come on, man.
Here you go. Thank you, sir.
Gag me.
Money. Or your jacket.
- Money, please. - Here you go. - Bless you.
Come on!
What's the matter with you?
Hey. Just so you know, it's your vibe.
Oh, it's my vibe?
It's off-putting. People don't...
people don't take to you.
Yeah, well, maybe because this isn't me, all right?
I don't ... I don't need money.
Or food or warmth or dental floss
or any of that crap.
Being human sucks.
Yeah, but... what's the alternative?
Don't even get me started, pal.
Can I have that, please?
Well... closing time.
Yeah.
You hungry?
Hey, hey, hey. Aren't we going inside the restaurant there
to ... to eat a little dinner or...
We are. Almost there. Come on.
Ugh.
Come on. Corelli's lasagna? Kills.
Frankly, it's better the next day.
Okay, yeah, why don't we, uh,
why don't we take that big pile of cash you got there,
go inside the restaurant,
and get a dinner that's botulism-lite?
Oh, no. That money's going right into the old leg fund.
The "old leg fund"?
Okay, I got news for you. Your leg is shot.
No doctor's gonna help you with that,
so we might as well just ...
I'm not blowing my money on doctors.
I'm gonna see Sister Jo. "Sister Jo"?
She don't come cheap, but she can heal anything.
- She's a faith healer. - Yeah.
Okay, let you down easy?
She's a fake. They're all fake, man.
No. I've seen it.
Boils, blindness, birth defects.
She touches you, there's this glow,
and you're cured.
Really?
Yeah.
Mmm.
It's a long shot at best.
Yeah, well,
most of what we do are long shots.
You get used to it.
Cass, I'm sorry.
All that time you were with Asmodeus, I-I...
We should've known it wasn't you.
Well, he's a shape-shifter.
Besides, I-I was the one who got myself captured.
Yeah, but if Sam and I knew, you know, we would've...
Yeah, I know. I know. You would've tried another long shot.
I'm fine, Dean.
You sure about that?
Right now, all that matters
is getting Jack and your mother out of that place.
Okay?
Look, I promised Kelly that I would protect her son.
I intend to keep that promise.
Hey, there he is!
Donny, how you doing?
Ugh, the usual.
Bewildered.
Right. Cool. So here's the plan.
We nab Lucifer.
If he is as weak as Cass says,
then the angel cuffs should work on him.
Yeah. Maybe.
Well, maybe's all we got.
So...we grab Satan,
and we use his grace to open up a door between two universes.
Okay? Then we get Mom, we get Jack, and we get out.
Slam the door before Michael follows us
and destroys our universe.
Now it's gonna be harder than it sounds.
And so, the spell to open this rift is in the angel tablet?
Yeah, they ... they are, um...
on Earth 2, except ...
Except we don't have the angel tablet anymore.
No, we don't. We do have...
the demon tablet.
We thought it might mention the spell as well
because it, too, is the word of God.
And since you speak God,
figured it was right up your alley.
So give it a swing.
These glyphs,
they're ... they're ... they're nearly impenetrable.
Okay. Um...
Well, is there anything we can get you? Or, um...
Chicken wings. Excuse me?
Chicken wings.
Heavy lifting like this requires real brain fuel.
My analysis of the half-lives of the 33 arsenic isotopes
required about, mm...
25 buckets.
Cass?
You all right? It's angel radio.
A vessel was found last night, mutilated.
Wait. Who's killing angels?
Oh.
- Ahh! - Oh!
Thank you.
Don't be afraid.
You're whole again.
Thank you.
Okay, so according to the report,
the Vic died from trauma.
Uh, something blunt driven through the body.
There was also a slit in his neck, which means ...
Lucifer fed on this angel's grace,
which means he's trying to restore his power.
And if he does ... We're boned.
Epically.
We're closed.
Come back tomorrow.
Oh, but I need healin', Sister Jo.
Or should I say Anael.
You're an angel.
Back atcha...
Lucifer.
What? No, "Eek!"?
No "Spare me, Dark Master""
No quaking fear? Should I quake?
I mean, yeah, most people sort of do. Yeah.
I'm not most.
Right.
You're special because you heal people for money.
Hmm.
Not very heavenly, I have to say.
We're not in Heaven. We're on Earth.
You may have noticed, around here,
good life ain't cheap.
After The Fall,
all the angels were a mess,
desperate for "housing."
Any vessel would do.
And they had no long game.
Yeah, that's...
I, on the other hand, took some care.
I listened.
A woman was praying for her dying husband.
So we made a trade ... his life for her vessel.
She was grateful.
I realized humans are so desperate for life,
they'd do almost anything, pay almost anything.
So...ca-ching!
I was a so-so angel, but turns out,
I am an excellent businesswoman.
Wow.
That is very impressive.
As you can see, my high-octane grace is a little bit low.
So I came for a recharge, which unfortunately,
doesn't end well for you.
Not very cost efficient,
running around, killing angels.
What? Wouldn't it make more sense
to keep one premium angel on tap?
Take a sip now, sip later.
Not taking all the grace,
but giving the angel time to recharge.
Then rinse and repeat.
And that angel being...
You'd do that?
It's better than having you
suck me dry and kill me, isn't it?
This way, I help you, you help me.
Still a businesswoman.
Oh, well, if you see this man...
Yeah.
Thanks.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?
Yeah, no, I'm kind of working here, man.
I tell you what. I'll be quick. I promise.
Just tell me...
have you ever seen this man?
Actually, we had a lovely chat.
He was curious about this faith healer I'm saving up to see.
She's gonna fix this leg right up.
Sister Jo?
And did he, uh... believe in her?
Not at first, but after I described her skills,
he was very supportive.
Ooh.
Better?
So much better.
Wow.
That was so much more fun than my last time.
I had to kill that guy.
When was that?
Two nights ago.
That was you?
That was all over angel radio.
Yeah.
Star power. Can't fight it.
Did anyone know you were coming here?
It's only you.
What the hell are you doing here?
Do we really have to do all this again?
Last time we were together, I saved your lives,
and you shot me.
Doesn't that make us even?
No, I guess not.
Dean asked you a question. What are you doing here?
My sources tell me Lucifer's back.
He's weak and he's ... or was ...
in this wonderful little slice of Americana.
I was going to try and kill him, as were you, I assume.
Great.
Who are you working for?
Isn't it possible that I'm simply trying
to strike a blow for the good of humanity?
- Hmm. - No.
That's not possible.
And truth be told, taking out Lucifer
would be an enormous feather in the cap.
My business model is very, um...
word of mouth.
All right, so if Lucifer isn't here, where is he?
Ah, excellent question.
I propose we team up.
Share Intel, cover more ground.
Hmm?
Huzzah!
All right.
I say we take dick bag here back to the bunker,
find out what he knows, and put a bullet in him,
burn his bones, and flush his ashes.
I like that plan.
Hey. Check this out.
That's Sister Jo? The faith healer?
No, that's not.
She's an angel. Her name is Anael.
All right, so say Lucifer drained her and killed her.
Where's her body?
No way. What you got?
So I set an alert up on my phone.
Looks like Sister Jo has just used her credit card.
Where?
You don't have to rush.
We can do this slowly.
It's always so strange.
That final moment...
when I've lost just enough grace that I'm almost ...
Human?
I feel...
emotions.
Sensations.
Things they must feel.
Yeah, I had that experience.
I didn't like it.
Hunger. Cold. Loneliness.
I don't know how they keep going.
I do.
When I'm in that place,
I can see how there'd be pain.
But there's also hope.
Love, even.
Angels can only imagine.
Sometimes I envy humans.
They can be anything.
Do you know what my job was?
Upstairs?
I pushed a button.
A soul would come in, I'd push a button,
they'd be counted, and I'd wait for the next.
It was so ... Boring?
Eternal. Mm.
I mean, I had ideas.
I saw how Heaven was running, and I knew how to fix it.
But no one would listen to me.
Not Michael, not Raphael, not Naomi.
They would just send me back to push my button.
So up there, you're nobody.
Down here, you're somebody.
After The Fall,
when we lost our wings,
I wasn't devastated.
I was liberated. I was finally free.
But you must know how that feels.
No.
No, I always wanted to...fit in,
please a father I couldn't please.
And now I'm gonna be a father.
Probably screw it up like he did.
Lucifer...
the great and terrible.
I don't know why I said that.
Stupid.
I mean, it's like...
pretty soon, I'm not gonna feel anything, you know.
I mean...
the more I do this, the stronger I get,
the more me I become.
Lucifer...
Prince of Darkness. King of Lies.
I'm back, baby.
Then what?
And then?
I'm gonna find my son,
and the fun really starts.
This better be good news.
It is, my lord.
The prophet, we found him.
Hey, it's you.
That ... I-I thought I felt a presence.
I sensed you as well.
Ah.
Sam and Dean are ... are still tracking Lucifer,
but they asked me to check in on you.
Oh, well, uh, I'm making progress with the demon tablet,
but... oh, my goodness, it's a challenge.
Really?
Yeah. I have determined, though, that there is definitely
some kind of spell for, uh... you know...
opening a door to that other world.
Well, that would be very useful.
Yes.
The ingredients are very, very complicated.
I-I'm just starting to, uh, decipher them.
Well, let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
I doubt it, since apparently, I'm the only one on the planet
who can read the damn thing.
I just hope I'm in time.
You mean, before Michael comes?
Before anything happens to Jack or the boys' mom.
I couldn't live with myself
if they never make it out of that terrible place.
Yes, yes, that would be very tragic.
Forget this.
Whatever you find on that tablet,
you will report to me.
Understand?
Yes.
Good boy.
Run along now.
Mnh.
This is it?
Yep. Last place Jo, or someone, used her credit card.
Checked in last night.
Do you think Lucifer is with her?
Or she's dead. One way to find out.
Would you look at the...
Wrong. That's wrong.
Does anybody fact-check this stuff?
I mean, that's...
This...
Hello?
My card?
Of course it's good.
Yeah, okay. Uh, you know what?
Our system must be screwy.
Do you mind bringing the card back so I can run it again?
Okay. Just a minute.
Sure. I'll be here. That's great. Thank you.
Well, good news. She's alive.
Anael.
Castiel. What are you doing here?
We were gonna ask you the same thing.
We're looking for Lucifer. Have you seen him?
Do you know where he is?
Yes. He's in the room.
Has he hurt you?
Not yet. He's threatened.
He wants to drain my grace.
So he's still weak. Very.
You have to help me.
We will.
But first, you're gonna help us.
Dad's always stealing my best lines, man.
Sh...
Lord Lucifer? Could you let me in?
Sorry. I forgot my key.
"Lord Lucifer"?
I likey.
Really, uh...
Mornin', Sunshine.
What's up?
Gents.
Hey.
Uh...
Oh. Cass!
You're alive. That's...
that's awesome. They made me.
They forced me to tell them how weak you still are.
Well, great seeing ya. It's been a long time.
Uh, nice jacket there, Dean.
Your hair, Sam, is magnificent.
Is that a leave-in conditioner you have there?
We got this. Go.
So what are you gonna do now? You gonna ... you gonna kill me?
Mm.
Eventually.
Aah! Uhh!
Uhh!
We need to go. Okay, just ...
I just wanna enjoy this for just a minute.
That's good. That's really good.
Ohh. I've got to get in better shape.
This is ridiculous.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you just ...
No. They vanished before it went off.
But you're welcome.
All right, so why did ya, you know...
Like I said, I help you, you help me.
Right.
Cool.
Okay. So where on earth do we go now?
Congratulations, you just helped Lucifer escape.
Put another way, I opted out of my own escape
and put myself in harm's way to save your lives...
again.
All right, all right. How did you get out of the trunk?
I'm Ketch.
I found the demon bomb in your weapons cache
and I thought, with Lucifer's weakened state,
it might make a dent.
Well, it seems his "weakened stat""
may have been greatly exaggerated.
Yeah, exactly. And ... and Jo, w-what's the deal with her?
I don't know. In Heaven, she was nothing.
She was a low-level functionary.
Yeah, well, now she's Satan's gal pal. That's awesome.
Gentlemen, this may, once again, fall on deaf ears,
but I shall have another go.
Clearly, Lucifer's more dangerous than we thought.
I propose we pool resources
and go after him together.
Dude, why would we ever trust you?
Fine.
As proof of my sincerity, I shall come clean.
I'm working for Asmodeus.
Happy? Whoa. What?
How is that supposed to make us feel better?
It's not. It's supposed to present an opportunity.
If I'm working for him,
then I can pass information on to you.
Oh, right. And you would do that for us?
For everyone.
I know you think I'm a monster ...
Because you are.
But even I must draw the line somewhere.
And letting Lucifer free upon the Earth?
Well, as it turns out, that's my line.
Not to mention the whole Michael situation.
I know you want to kill me.
I know you can't forgive me.
But if you think about it, I'm the lesser of...
Well, at least three evils.
All I ask is that you wait to murder me
until after I prove useful.
Hmm?
I know we've had our problems in the past,
little family squabbles.
Just minor, little disagreements.
You know, kids being kids kinda stuff.
But right now, you need me.
Kill him. Whoa, wait, hey!
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay.
Number one, it's true. I am powered down.
But you can't kill me.
We could try. Repeatedly.
Okay, look, number ... number two,
I happen to know Heaven is in short supply of angels.
All right, let's face it.
After Pop took a powder, your only strength,
your only defense was in numbers, yeah?
And now, with the Prince of Hell basically running...
Hell, if the dark side makes a move, y'all are screwed.
You...need...more...you.
But with Dad gone and...everything,
I mean, who's still up for birthin' angels?
Yo! Yo!
- You can't. - Yeah. - He can, Dumah.
Who are you to speak to me?
Okay, she's with me, and you're gonna listen to her.
Hey, look, I was here when you, when all of you were born.
I saw how the old man did it.
I can make angels. Okay?
And I'll do it, if...
Enough games, Lucifer.
if for my incredible act of generosity,
you name me the undisputed and unquestioned
ruler of Heaven.
Yeah? It's funny.
Oh, come on. Let's face it. You don't wanna run the place.
Angels were designed to follow, not lead.
Don't give me the stink eye. That wasn't my idea.
The point is, you need me.
And icing on the cake, guys ...
how'd you like your wings back?
So Ketch ... can we trust him?
Not even a little.
Yeah, of course not, but...
we need him, for now.
Right.
And when we don't?
Guess.
Donatello, you're doing great.
I mean, looks like you made a lot of progress.
It's like pulling freaking teeth!
I...
I'm working my way through the ingredients.
Right. Okay.
But at least we know the spell we need is in there.
And we have a plan.
Hail to the King, baby.
I missed him by seconds.
Rest assured, Lucifer will be found.
And killed before he causes any more problems.
Or those idiot Winchesters use him
to open up a gate to Michael Land.
Another stick-up-his-ass archangel
is the last thing I need.
Yes, well, Lucifer is getting strong,
and as good as I am, and I am...
very good,
I don't think even I can beat the Devil at full power.
About that.
You recall the important errand I had mentioned?
Word had got back to me that a certain artifact
I thought had been lost forever
resurfaced.
And now it's mine.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, yes.
The only known weapon capable of destroying an archangel ...
the archangel blade.
You'll forgive me, but my reading of the lore
suggests that the...
blade is only effective if wielded by an archangel.
Oh, really?
Thanks for the news flash.
Allow me to make an introduction.
Mr. Ketch...
Meet the Archangel Gabriel.
== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man