1 00:00:00,681 --> 00:00:02,081 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:02,683 --> 00:00:04,713 So, Leonard, tell everyone your news. 3 00:00:04,714 --> 00:00:06,915 Oh, uh, I am starting a book. 4 00:00:06,917 --> 00:00:09,584 That would be big news from Penny, 5 00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:12,453 but you've read a book before. 6 00:00:12,455 --> 00:00:14,989 He means he's writing a book. 7 00:00:14,991 --> 00:00:18,226 I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. 8 00:00:18,228 --> 00:00:20,328 Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist 9 00:00:20,330 --> 00:00:22,430 who solves crimes using science. 10 00:00:22,432 --> 00:00:23,498 Oh, Leonard... 11 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,300 It's not about you! 12 00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:28,169 Oh, boy. What? 13 00:00:28,171 --> 00:00:30,271 They cast the new Professor Proton. 14 00:00:30,273 --> 00:00:32,974 Is it Sheldon? Not exactly. 15 00:00:32,976 --> 00:00:34,342 Wheaton! 16 00:00:34,344 --> 00:00:36,611 It's Wil Wheaton. 17 00:00:40,784 --> 00:00:42,283 Hey, what are you doing? 18 00:00:42,285 --> 00:00:44,085 I thought we were having dinner at Leonard and Penny's. 19 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,453 Oh, no. 20 00:00:45,455 --> 00:00:47,455 No, they're watching the new Professor Proton. 21 00:00:47,457 --> 00:00:49,223 I-I can't keep Wil Wheaton off the Internet, 22 00:00:49,225 --> 00:00:51,025 but I can keep him off my retinas. 23 00:00:51,027 --> 00:00:54,896 So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing? 24 00:00:54,898 --> 00:00:56,497 Of course not. 25 00:00:56,499 --> 00:01:00,301 I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online. 26 00:01:00,303 --> 00:01:03,404 Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen. 27 00:01:03,406 --> 00:01:06,874 I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet? 28 00:01:06,876 --> 00:01:09,077 Well, what if I watch it with you? 29 00:01:09,079 --> 00:01:11,245 Maybe I won't like it and we can complain about it together. 30 00:01:11,247 --> 00:01:13,781 Get your own thing to complain about. 31 00:01:13,783 --> 00:01:16,050 Oh, trust me, I've got one. 32 00:01:16,820 --> 00:01:19,287 Look, at least if you watch it, 33 00:01:19,289 --> 00:01:22,490 maybe you can find more specific things to criticize. 34 00:01:22,492 --> 00:01:24,325 Oh, that is a good point. 35 00:01:24,327 --> 00:01:27,161 Criticisms are more hurtful when they're specific. 36 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,399 ? Grab your goggles ? 37 00:01:31,401 --> 00:01:33,267 ? Lab coat on ? 38 00:01:33,269 --> 00:01:36,871 ? Here he comes, Professor Proton. ? 39 00:01:36,873 --> 00:01:38,706 Hey, everybody. I'm Professor Proton. 40 00:01:38,708 --> 00:01:41,309 Welcome to the show. Today I will be teaching you 41 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:45,146 how to make a real hovercraft using common household items. 42 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:48,383 Darn it, I do like objects that hover. 43 00:01:49,185 --> 00:01:51,052 All you will need is a CD, 44 00:01:51,054 --> 00:01:54,322 a bottle cap, a balloon, and some super glue. 45 00:01:54,324 --> 00:01:57,859 Oh, no! I have all those things! 46 00:01:58,014 --> 00:02:01,849 ? Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ? 47 00:02:01,851 --> 00:02:04,919 ? Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ? 48 00:02:04,921 --> 00:02:06,453 ? The Earth began to cool ? 49 00:02:06,455 --> 00:02:08,989 ? The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ? 50 00:02:08,991 --> 00:02:11,859 ? We built the Wall ? ? We built the pyramids ? 51 00:02:11,861 --> 00:02:14,328 ? Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ? 52 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,230 ? That all started with a big bang ? 53 00:02:16,232 --> 00:02:17,023 ? Bang! ? 54 00:02:17,024 --> 00:02:21,024 ? The Big Bang Theory 11x15 ? The Novelization Correlation 55 00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:23,025 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 56 00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,776 - Hey. - Hi. 57 00:02:26,778 --> 00:02:28,644 What's that noise? 58 00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:31,114 Oh, it's my new keyboard. 59 00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:33,249 It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned typewriter. 60 00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:35,651 It makes me feel like a real novelist. 61 00:02:35,653 --> 00:02:38,421 You poured yourself a Scotch. 62 00:02:38,423 --> 00:02:39,956 Apple juice. Oh. 63 00:02:40,792 --> 00:02:41,891 But unsweetened, 64 00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:43,926 like Hemingway used to drink. Ah. 65 00:02:43,928 --> 00:02:46,162 - So, how's the book coming along? - Uh, good. 66 00:02:46,164 --> 00:02:48,030 I just wrote the part where the hero, 67 00:02:48,032 --> 00:02:50,733 hotshot physicist Logan Dean, arrives at CERN. 68 00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,235 Oh, is he based on you? 69 00:02:52,237 --> 00:02:54,804 Uh, kind of. But he can eat dairy products 70 00:02:54,806 --> 00:02:56,739 without having to leave the room. 71 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,342 Yeah, that's smart, because CERN is in Switzerland 72 00:02:59,344 --> 00:03:01,344 and there's a lot of cheese there. Hmm. 73 00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:04,714 Uh, believe me, that is a plot point later. 74 00:03:04,716 --> 00:03:06,649 Well, I'm excited to read it whenever you're ready. 75 00:03:06,651 --> 00:03:08,584 Thank you. 76 00:03:08,586 --> 00:03:11,120 Oh. Oh! I just thought of the murder weapon! 77 00:03:11,122 --> 00:03:12,655 Swiss army knife? 78 00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:14,624 No. 79 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:20,129 That's way better. 80 00:03:21,199 --> 00:03:23,866 Look, it works! We did it! 81 00:03:23,868 --> 00:03:27,003 See, there was a reason to keep that TurboTax CD. 82 00:03:27,005 --> 00:03:28,738 Yeah. 83 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:30,006 A CD-ROM? 84 00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:32,008 More like "CD-vroom." 85 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:35,044 Do you feel bad you told Wil Wheaton 86 00:03:35,046 --> 00:03:37,280 that you'd be his enemy if he did this show? 87 00:03:37,282 --> 00:03:39,749 No. I feel bad 88 00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:42,051 I'm engaged to somebody that would point that out. 89 00:03:42,053 --> 00:03:44,921 It's time for Professor Proton's 90 00:03:44,923 --> 00:03:46,389 science joke of the day. 91 00:03:46,391 --> 00:03:49,025 Why can you not trust atoms? 92 00:03:49,027 --> 00:03:50,793 Hmm. 93 00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:53,796 Because they make up everything. 94 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,999 Oh, that's funny! 95 00:03:57,001 --> 00:04:00,002 Yeah, because they do. They make up everything. 96 00:04:01,706 --> 00:04:03,973 Oh, I wonder who that could be. 97 00:04:03,975 --> 00:04:06,142 Just when I thought this couldn't get any better, 98 00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:08,477 Wil has introduced suspense into the show. 99 00:04:10,248 --> 00:04:13,816 Hey, it's real NASA astronaut, Howard Wolowitz! 100 00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:16,319 What?! 101 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:17,753 Hey, Professor Proton. 102 00:04:17,755 --> 00:04:19,121 Hey, thanks for being here. 103 00:04:19,123 --> 00:04:22,425 No problem. I'm on my "launch" break. 104 00:04:24,596 --> 00:04:28,030 How could Wil ask Howard to be on his show and not me? 105 00:04:28,032 --> 00:04:30,032 Well, he is an astronaut. 106 00:04:30,034 --> 00:04:33,402 And he didn't start an online petition to get Wil fired. 107 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,938 But why wouldn't Howard tell me? 108 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,406 Well, because he probably worried 109 00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:40,743 that you'd be a big baby about it. 110 00:04:40,745 --> 00:04:42,945 All those answers make a lot of sense. 111 00:04:42,947 --> 00:04:45,948 Thank you, Amy. That helps. 112 00:04:47,051 --> 00:04:49,118 And then, when the lights come back on 113 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,154 in the supercollider room, Dr. Logan Dean makes 114 00:04:52,156 --> 00:04:55,625 two important discoveries: a gluino 115 00:04:55,627 --> 00:04:57,760 and murder. 116 00:04:57,762 --> 00:05:00,062 Oh, gluino. That's exciting. 117 00:05:00,832 --> 00:05:03,599 And murder. 118 00:05:03,601 --> 00:05:06,102 I heard you. 119 00:05:06,104 --> 00:05:09,405 The first time. 120 00:05:09,407 --> 00:05:11,774 I don't know which Hemsworth is playing Logan Dean, 121 00:05:11,776 --> 00:05:13,376 but I know it's a Hemsworth. 122 00:05:13,378 --> 00:05:15,244 Well, Logan's actually based on me. 123 00:05:15,246 --> 00:05:18,047 So a young Paul Giamatti. 124 00:05:18,049 --> 00:05:19,815 Well, I have to finish writing it 125 00:05:19,817 --> 00:05:21,651 before they can make it into a movie, 126 00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:23,853 and I still have a few things to figure out. 127 00:05:23,855 --> 00:05:25,221 You should talk to Bernadette. 128 00:05:25,223 --> 00:05:27,123 Since she's been on bed rest, she's binged, 129 00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:30,326 like, every detective show in the world. 130 00:05:30,328 --> 00:05:33,129 Oh, there was a funny detective show in India called Karamchand. 131 00:05:33,131 --> 00:05:34,997 He had an assistant named Kitty, 132 00:05:34,999 --> 00:05:37,366 and he was always saying, "Shut up, Kitty!" 133 00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:41,103 Sounds less mean if you say it in Hindi 134 00:05:41,105 --> 00:05:44,740 and don't think of women as having feelings. 135 00:05:44,742 --> 00:05:45,975 Hello. 136 00:05:45,977 --> 00:05:47,610 - Hey. - Hey. - Hi. 137 00:05:47,612 --> 00:05:50,780 Howard, I want you to know that I forgive you. 138 00:05:50,782 --> 00:05:52,782 I'll take it. 139 00:05:52,784 --> 00:05:54,717 What's he forgiving you for? 140 00:05:54,719 --> 00:05:57,353 Don't care. Clean slate. Happy Yom Kippur to me. 141 00:05:57,355 --> 00:05:59,955 I know that you were on Wil's show, 142 00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:01,924 and I know why you didn't tell me. 143 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:02,925 Do you? 144 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,593 Because you were afraid 145 00:06:04,595 --> 00:06:06,295 that I would be difficult and annoying about it. 146 00:06:06,297 --> 00:06:08,297 I hope your book has a twist 147 00:06:08,299 --> 00:06:10,666 as surprising as that. 148 00:06:10,668 --> 00:06:13,235 It doesn't. 149 00:06:13,237 --> 00:06:15,604 I thought you were boycotting Wil's show. 150 00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:17,873 I was, but I decided to give it a shot, 151 00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:19,775 and I actually enjoyed it. 152 00:06:19,777 --> 00:06:23,212 Just out of curiosity, how did you come to be on the show? 153 00:06:23,214 --> 00:06:25,214 Did he ask you? Did you ask him? 154 00:06:25,216 --> 00:06:28,150 Did you just show up on the set and ring that doorbell? 155 00:06:28,152 --> 00:06:30,319 Sheldon, if you want to be on the show, 156 00:06:30,321 --> 00:06:32,822 you're gonna have to apologize to Wil. 157 00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:36,192 That would be the mature thing to do. 158 00:06:36,194 --> 00:06:39,195 Let's put a pin in that and keep thinking. 159 00:06:43,101 --> 00:06:44,667 Ooh. 160 00:06:44,669 --> 00:06:46,736 What? What? Which part? 161 00:06:46,738 --> 00:06:48,371 That was just the baby kicking. 162 00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,039 Got it. 163 00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:52,808 - But this is good so far, really good. - Yeah? 164 00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:55,311 Yeah. I have no idea who the killer is. 165 00:06:55,313 --> 00:06:57,279 Oh, great. Me, neither. 166 00:06:57,281 --> 00:07:01,350 So, does Penny know you based a character on her? 167 00:07:01,352 --> 00:07:03,285 What character? 168 00:07:03,287 --> 00:07:06,122 Ilsa, the head of the institute. That's clearly Penny. 169 00:07:06,124 --> 00:07:07,156 No, it's not. 170 00:07:07,158 --> 00:07:08,357 Really? 171 00:07:08,359 --> 00:07:09,959 Confident, ball-busting beauty 172 00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:12,695 who's always rolling her eyes at Logan? 173 00:07:12,697 --> 00:07:17,233 Trust me, that describes more women than you think. 174 00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:21,203 "He looked at the stunning woman who was his boss and said..." 175 00:07:21,205 --> 00:07:23,706 It's murder. 176 00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:26,509 Figure that out yourself, genius? 177 00:07:27,945 --> 00:07:29,845 Okay, no need to be snarky. 178 00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:31,080 Who would want to kill him? 179 00:07:31,082 --> 00:07:33,916 Could be anyone. Dr. Silvers. 180 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:37,420 Dr. Prekash. 181 00:07:38,956 --> 00:07:41,257 Hans the janitor. 182 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:45,294 But the door is locked, 183 00:07:45,296 --> 00:07:47,430 so it has to be someone in this room. 184 00:07:47,432 --> 00:07:50,433 Wow, you are on fire. 185 00:07:52,603 --> 00:07:55,237 Maybe it is a little like Penny. 186 00:07:55,239 --> 00:07:57,139 Any chance she'll be flattered? 187 00:07:57,141 --> 00:07:59,341 I don't know. She's pretty mean. 188 00:07:59,343 --> 00:08:00,843 Ilsa or Penny? 189 00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:03,245 Exactly. 190 00:08:05,983 --> 00:08:08,284 Oh, hey, Howard. What's up? 191 00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:10,085 I'm so sorry. 192 00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:11,554 What for? 193 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:15,157 Hello. 194 00:08:15,159 --> 00:08:16,692 Hello, Sheldon. 195 00:08:16,694 --> 00:08:18,727 I suppose you've come here to tell me 196 00:08:18,729 --> 00:08:21,063 that you've moved me to your super secret enemies list. 197 00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:24,333 I don't have a super secret enemies list. 198 00:08:24,335 --> 00:08:26,235 I'm not a Bond villain. 199 00:08:27,305 --> 00:08:28,838 I'm just a regular guy, 200 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,140 with a regular enemies list. 201 00:08:31,142 --> 00:08:34,376 Which, by the way, you are no longer on. 202 00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:37,446 Really? Well, that is something. 203 00:08:37,448 --> 00:08:40,716 It's not something that I care about, but it is something. 204 00:08:40,718 --> 00:08:42,651 He's trying to say he's sorry. 205 00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:44,153 I am. 206 00:08:44,155 --> 00:08:47,323 I watched your show, and it's really good. 207 00:08:47,325 --> 00:08:48,657 Aw, thank you. 208 00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:50,826 And I regret how hard I was on you. 209 00:08:50,828 --> 00:08:52,127 I want you to know 210 00:08:52,129 --> 00:08:54,396 that being on the Professor Proton show 211 00:08:54,398 --> 00:08:56,632 has been a childhood dream of mine. 212 00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:58,300 So, if you're ever looking 213 00:08:58,302 --> 00:09:02,304 for any more scientist guests, I hope you'll consider me. 214 00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:05,774 I appreciate that, Sheldon, and I'll keep it in mind. 215 00:09:05,776 --> 00:09:07,209 You know, actually... 216 00:09:07,211 --> 00:09:09,645 Yay! Uh... 217 00:09:09,647 --> 00:09:12,181 No. No. I want to have 218 00:09:12,183 --> 00:09:14,750 more female scientists represented on the show, 219 00:09:14,752 --> 00:09:17,853 and I thought maybe Amy might be interested? 220 00:09:27,331 --> 00:09:29,331 Or... 221 00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:31,901 wouldn't it be nice 222 00:09:31,903 --> 00:09:35,738 to have us both on, to show that 223 00:09:35,740 --> 00:09:39,475 even female scientists can land a man? 224 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,580 I said "sorry." 225 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,721 So, what do you think? 226 00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:54,283 I like it. I can't wait to see who the killer is. 227 00:09:54,284 --> 00:09:57,360 Is it that Ilsa girl? She seems pretty mean. 228 00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,818 But adorably mean, 229 00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:03,821 like a baby lion? 230 00:10:03,823 --> 00:10:06,724 No, regular mean, like a regular lion. 231 00:10:08,361 --> 00:10:10,928 But it seems pretty accurate, considering who you based it on. 232 00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,997 Huh. 233 00:10:12,999 --> 00:10:15,332 And who do you think that is? 234 00:10:16,435 --> 00:10:17,735 But the door is locked, 235 00:10:17,737 --> 00:10:19,970 so it has to be someone in this room. 236 00:10:23,142 --> 00:10:25,743 Wow. You are on fire. 237 00:10:27,913 --> 00:10:29,513 Oh. Y... 238 00:10:29,515 --> 00:10:31,615 Bernadette. Yeah, sure. 239 00:10:31,617 --> 00:10:34,118 Each one of you had a motive. 240 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:36,787 Who died and made you detective? 241 00:10:36,789 --> 00:10:38,989 He did. 242 00:10:39,925 --> 00:10:42,626 I think you're neglecting your own motive, 243 00:10:42,628 --> 00:10:45,029 a massive inferiority complex. 244 00:10:45,031 --> 00:10:47,164 It's not massive. 245 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:49,266 It's just average-sized. 246 00:10:51,904 --> 00:10:53,971 I don't mean to interrupt, but somebody's tracking 247 00:10:53,973 --> 00:10:57,541 blood everywhere, so-- never mind, it's me. 248 00:10:58,411 --> 00:11:00,577 You say we're all suspects. 249 00:11:00,579 --> 00:11:03,380 How do we know you're not the killer? 250 00:11:03,382 --> 00:11:04,915 I have an alibi. 251 00:11:04,917 --> 00:11:08,819 Yeah. He's not smart enough to pull off a murder like this. 252 00:11:10,456 --> 00:11:14,024 It's pretty obvious: blonde, mean, glasses. 253 00:11:14,026 --> 00:11:15,959 It doesn't say "glasses." Oh, really? 254 00:11:15,961 --> 00:11:18,462 But it will, because Ilsa does. 255 00:11:18,464 --> 00:11:20,397 And you know who else wears them? 256 00:11:20,399 --> 00:11:22,833 Bernadette. 257 00:11:23,869 --> 00:11:25,602 And-and that's her, cause it's, 258 00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,905 it's totally, it's totally her. 259 00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:33,644 Oh, Amy. Good, you're here. 260 00:11:33,646 --> 00:11:34,845 Hi. What's up? 261 00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:38,682 How would you like to be on television? 262 00:11:38,684 --> 00:11:40,617 Is it gonna be a news story 263 00:11:40,619 --> 00:11:43,520 where I have to say you were quiet and kept to yourself 264 00:11:43,522 --> 00:11:45,422 and I'm as shocked as anyone? 265 00:11:45,424 --> 00:11:47,825 No, it's not. 266 00:11:47,827 --> 00:11:51,862 Wil Wheaton wants you to be on Professor Proton. 267 00:11:51,864 --> 00:11:54,998 That's nice, but I'm not really interested. 268 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,967 What do you mean? 269 00:11:56,969 --> 00:11:59,369 But he wants to talk about women in science. 270 00:11:59,371 --> 00:12:02,639 You're a woman, you're in science. You go, girl. 271 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:04,842 I'm all for promoting women in science, 272 00:12:04,844 --> 00:12:07,311 but I don't really want to be on Wil's show. 273 00:12:07,313 --> 00:12:11,115 Is it because kids may be there, 274 00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:13,917 and they're known carriers of head lice? I get that. 275 00:12:13,919 --> 00:12:16,520 Sure, that's the reason. 276 00:12:16,522 --> 00:12:18,822 Wait a minute. 277 00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:21,058 You're always bragging that lice aren't attracted to you 278 00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,760 because your scalp is so oily. 279 00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:24,828 That was on your dating profile. 280 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,997 Okay, look, 281 00:12:26,999 --> 00:12:29,600 I know you have strong feelings about Professor Proton, 282 00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:32,069 and I don't want to get in the middle of that. 283 00:12:32,071 --> 00:12:35,405 So you're not going to do something 284 00:12:35,407 --> 00:12:37,441 just because you think it might upset me? 285 00:12:37,443 --> 00:12:39,376 Well, it's tricky, 286 00:12:39,378 --> 00:12:41,512 because answering that question honestly 287 00:12:41,514 --> 00:12:44,915 is one of the things I tend not to do because it upsets you. 288 00:12:44,917 --> 00:12:48,752 Well, that's very upsetting. 289 00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:50,654 Like I said. 290 00:12:52,491 --> 00:12:54,057 What other things don't you do because of me? 291 00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,693 Remember last week when we went 292 00:12:56,695 --> 00:12:59,496 to that dueling piano bar I was so excited about? 293 00:12:59,498 --> 00:13:00,136 No. 294 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,101 Well, now you're getting it. 295 00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:08,105 Boy, I don't know how people who aren't on bed rest 296 00:13:08,107 --> 00:13:10,674 keep up with the Kardashians. 297 00:13:10,676 --> 00:13:12,709 Well, sometimes you have to read in your car 298 00:13:12,711 --> 00:13:15,779 while your husband thinks you're working late. 299 00:13:15,781 --> 00:13:18,782 Speaking of which, he came by yesterday to show me his book. 300 00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:22,586 Oh, and-and what did you think? 301 00:13:22,588 --> 00:13:23,854 I liked it. 302 00:13:23,856 --> 00:13:26,590 Really? The Ilsa character didn't bother you? 303 00:13:26,592 --> 00:13:29,159 Oh, he was exaggerating. You're not really like that. 304 00:13:30,963 --> 00:13:33,530 Well, I know I'm not like that. 305 00:13:33,532 --> 00:13:35,632 The character was based on you. 306 00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:37,401 I don't know what to tell you. 307 00:13:37,403 --> 00:13:39,503 When I brought it up with Leonard, he said it was you. 308 00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:42,372 Well, when I brought it up, he... 309 00:13:42,374 --> 00:13:44,074 got all squirrelly and left the room. 310 00:13:44,076 --> 00:13:46,243 Son of a bitch. 311 00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:52,749 I just learned some very distressing news. 312 00:13:52,751 --> 00:13:55,452 Sometimes, Amy doesn't do things 313 00:13:55,454 --> 00:13:57,054 because she's worried about how I'll react. 314 00:13:57,056 --> 00:13:59,756 First of all, it's not sometimes, it's always. 315 00:13:59,758 --> 00:14:03,193 Second, it's not Amy, it's everybody. 316 00:14:04,964 --> 00:14:07,297 And third, it's not news, it's well-established. 317 00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:09,967 Yeah. Like just now I wanted to get a croissant, 318 00:14:09,969 --> 00:14:13,704 but I didn't want to hear you say, "Ooh, la, la." 319 00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:16,006 So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells 320 00:14:16,008 --> 00:14:17,708 to spare my feelings? 321 00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:19,543 No, of course not, because we don't want 322 00:14:19,545 --> 00:14:21,745 to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound 323 00:14:21,747 --> 00:14:24,414 of crunching eggshells. 324 00:14:24,416 --> 00:14:27,718 I don't want my relationship with Amy to be like that. 325 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,354 Sheldon, Amy knew what she was getting into. 326 00:14:30,356 --> 00:14:31,488 You think? 327 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:33,290 Yes, we warned her. 328 00:14:34,894 --> 00:14:37,294 Well, regardless, I can change. 329 00:14:37,296 --> 00:14:39,396 Sure. Yeah, of course you can. 330 00:14:39,398 --> 00:14:42,566 You know, everybody thinks I'm so predictable. 331 00:14:42,568 --> 00:14:44,468 Well, tomorrow I'm gonna show up at work 332 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,470 and do something no one will expect. 333 00:14:46,472 --> 00:14:48,705 Where a baseball cap backwards to prove your point? 334 00:14:53,712 --> 00:14:56,747 Yes, but which hat? 335 00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:59,349 Gryffindor. 336 00:14:59,351 --> 00:15:02,352 Well, now that you guessed it, I'm not gonna do it. 337 00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:03,587 Yeah, you will. 338 00:15:03,589 --> 00:15:06,590 Yeah. 339 00:15:16,468 --> 00:15:19,102 Looks like the bullet went right through you. 340 00:15:19,104 --> 00:15:20,904 Damn it, Logan. When are you gonna stop? 341 00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:24,741 Sorry. I didn't get my PhD in quitting. 342 00:15:24,743 --> 00:15:28,378 You're a physicist. What makes you think you can solve a crime? 343 00:15:28,380 --> 00:15:30,047 He's losing a lot of blood. 344 00:15:30,049 --> 00:15:32,950 Great. I'm gonna have to clean that up. 345 00:15:34,053 --> 00:15:35,886 You know what? A little soda water 346 00:15:35,888 --> 00:15:38,855 might get that right out. 347 00:15:38,857 --> 00:15:41,191 - We got to find some bandages. - No. 348 00:15:41,193 --> 00:15:43,193 There's no time. 349 00:15:45,631 --> 00:15:47,397 Does it hurt? 350 00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:50,934 Everything you do hurts. 351 00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:55,605 Then why do you keep coming back for more? 352 00:16:00,412 --> 00:16:01,511 Hey. 353 00:16:01,513 --> 00:16:03,413 So this is what you think of me? 354 00:16:03,415 --> 00:16:05,816 Huh? I'm mean and everything I do hurts you? 355 00:16:05,818 --> 00:16:07,617 What are you talking about? 356 00:16:07,619 --> 00:16:08,952 I know I'm Ilsa. 357 00:16:08,954 --> 00:16:11,321 Wha...? That is crazy. 358 00:16:11,323 --> 00:16:13,090 You-you two are totally different. 359 00:16:13,092 --> 00:16:14,057 How? 360 00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:16,693 Well, you... She... 361 00:16:17,563 --> 00:16:19,529 Her name's Ilsa. 362 00:16:19,531 --> 00:16:21,098 You know what? 363 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,000 It's fine. Write whatever you want. 364 00:16:23,002 --> 00:16:25,802 And by the way, Logan Dean can tell everyone he's five-eight, 365 00:16:25,804 --> 00:16:27,971 but he's not fooling anybody! 366 00:16:37,383 --> 00:16:40,550 Are you sure that's the move you want to make? 367 00:16:40,552 --> 00:16:41,818 Absolutely. 368 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:44,254 Okay. 369 00:16:46,425 --> 00:16:48,759 Checkmate. 370 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,961 Oh, I did not see that coming. 371 00:16:52,097 --> 00:16:54,431 That's well played, Amy. 372 00:16:54,433 --> 00:16:55,899 What's going on? 373 00:16:55,901 --> 00:17:00,670 You beat me, and I am responding with humility and admiration. 374 00:17:00,672 --> 00:17:02,372 What does it look like? 375 00:17:02,374 --> 00:17:04,775 You let me win so you could show me 376 00:17:04,777 --> 00:17:06,977 how emotionally mature you are, didn't you? 377 00:17:06,979 --> 00:17:09,346 Well, I couldn't wait for you to actually beat me; 378 00:17:09,348 --> 00:17:10,580 that would take forever. 379 00:17:12,051 --> 00:17:13,950 I'm sorry. It's... 380 00:17:13,952 --> 00:17:15,519 I'm trying to show you 381 00:17:15,521 --> 00:17:17,320 that I can change. 382 00:17:17,322 --> 00:17:19,990 I-I don't want you to miss out on things because of me. 383 00:17:19,992 --> 00:17:22,359 I know you don't. 384 00:17:22,361 --> 00:17:24,561 You know, and maybe somewhere out there, 385 00:17:24,563 --> 00:17:27,964 there is a little girl who will see you on Wil's show 386 00:17:27,966 --> 00:17:30,467 and realize that she, too, can grow up 387 00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:32,536 to be a brilliant, amazing, 388 00:17:32,538 --> 00:17:34,738 successful scientist. 389 00:17:36,475 --> 00:17:38,008 Thank you. 390 00:17:38,010 --> 00:17:40,110 Who is really terrible at chess. 391 00:17:40,112 --> 00:17:41,945 Got it. 392 00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:43,980 No, no, no. I mean really bad. 393 00:17:43,982 --> 00:17:47,951 What was your queen doing over there, going shopping? 394 00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:52,989 I mean, I-I didn't intend to write about Penny, 395 00:17:52,991 --> 00:17:55,592 but I guess maybe subconsciously I did. 396 00:17:55,594 --> 00:17:59,496 I believe you mean "unconsciously," dear. 397 00:17:59,498 --> 00:18:01,798 Yeah, sure. You know, it would be nice 398 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,800 if you didn't correct me all the time. 399 00:18:03,802 --> 00:18:06,236 It would be nice if I didn't have to. 400 00:18:07,673 --> 00:18:10,307 Maybe this book of yours is a bad idea. 401 00:18:10,309 --> 00:18:11,508 What do you mean? 402 00:18:11,510 --> 00:18:12,776 Well, you're a physicist. 403 00:18:12,778 --> 00:18:15,045 What makes you think you can write a book? 404 00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:21,751 You're a physicist. 405 00:18:21,753 --> 00:18:24,821 What makes you think you can solve a crime? 406 00:18:26,425 --> 00:18:28,391 Got to go. 407 00:18:28,393 --> 00:18:29,793 I think you mean "have..." 408 00:18:32,431 --> 00:18:33,430 Oh, Penny, good news. 409 00:18:33,432 --> 00:18:34,931 It's not you. What? 410 00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:36,700 Ilsa. It's not you. It's my mother. 411 00:18:36,702 --> 00:18:38,635 I've been writing about my mother! 412 00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:41,872 I think you're neglecting your own motive, 413 00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:44,374 a massive inferiority complex. 414 00:18:44,376 --> 00:18:46,510 It's not massive. 415 00:18:46,512 --> 00:18:48,879 It's just average-sized. 416 00:18:52,117 --> 00:18:54,417 We got to find some bandages. 417 00:18:54,419 --> 00:18:56,653 There's no time. 418 00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:01,491 Does it hurt? 419 00:19:01,493 --> 00:19:03,927 Everything you do hurts. 420 00:19:03,929 --> 00:19:06,930 Then why do you keep coming back for more? 421 00:19:06,932 --> 00:19:08,698 Maybe you like it. 422 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:11,902 I-- M-Maybe I do. 423 00:19:24,829 --> 00:19:26,796 Well, that is our show for today. 424 00:19:26,798 --> 00:19:28,665 And I want to say a very special thank you 425 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,366 to Dr. Amy Fowler for being here. 426 00:19:30,368 --> 00:19:31,801 It was a real pleasure having you. 427 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,903 And you can feel that pleasure 428 00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:38,875 because you don't have a lesion in your nucleus accumbens. 429 00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:41,744 I really hope I don't. 430 00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:43,346 All right, we'll see you next time! 431 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,517 Amy. 432 00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:49,752 You were glowing. 433 00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:53,823 Oily scalp. 434 00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:56,693 I'm so proud of you. 435 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,696 And I'm proud of you. 436 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,831 Because you can't tell how jealous I am? 437 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,834 No, no, no. I can. 438 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,837 But I can tell how hard you're trying to keep it in. 439 00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:10,006 Really hard. 440 00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:13,506 I'm gonna go to bed. 441 00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:14,545 All right, I'm gonna go scream on the roof. 442 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,579 - Love you. - Love you. 443 00:20:28,849 --> 00:20:35,749 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 444 00:21:03,194 --> 00:21:06,329 A simile directly compares two things, 445 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,198 using the words "like" and "as"" 446 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,267 "I slept like a log"" 447 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:13,436 "I'm hungry as a horse"" 448 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,972 "Your love is like bad medicine." 449 00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,106 Exactly. 450 00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:18,108 That's Bon Jovi.