Synced and corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com
What are you still doing here?
School started an hour ago.
I skipped first period history.
It bores me.
Is that my jacket?
Yeah. Spilled some nail polish,
and then I was looking through your clothes
for a rag to clean it up. There it was.
Pretty cute. I can't believe it was yours.
Whatever. Keep it. Jacket's bad juju.
Last time I wore that,
I took some bad acid, almost lost my mind.
- I don't care. - Blind Melon, Foxboro, '93.
It just started pouring down rain
right when they were playing "No Rain."
I-I couldn't make sense of it.
Mm. As much as I'd love to hear
- your burnout loser origin story... - No, no, no. Nope.
- Uh, what are you doing? Ow! - Spread 'em.
Come on, Mickey. Are you serious? Ow.
Yeah. You've got that Yale interview this afternoon
and I am going to make sure that you will be there.
- How do you know about that? - I make it my business
to know anything that gets you out of my life faster.
Hmm.
Planning a little beach day, are we?
Looks to me like you're prepared for anything but school.
Yeah, well, it's senior year, and I have straight As.
Plus, I'm a legacy, okay? Pembertons go to Yale.
You're going to that interview. Nothing is more important to me
than shipping you off to college,
'cause as soon as you're gone, this house is mine.
What about Chip and Ben?
Chip's a coward I can easily steamroll,
and Ben can be molded in my image.
Just got to cut the head off that snake,
and everything'll fall into place.
Have a good interview.
Hey...
Ah, ah.
Hola, Dagoberto.
How is the family?
What? Where-where?
Where... in America?
Well, uh... well...
No, yeah. Y-Yes, uh, of course you can come visit me at my job
where I am always working.
Okay. See you soon. Yeah. Bye.
? All I can say ?
? Is that my life is pretty plain ?
? I like watching the puddles ?
? Gather rain ?
? And all I can do... ?
And that's just a real good song.
- Yeah. - Mickey.
I-I'm kind of stuck in this closet at school,
and I need your help; I'm freaking out.
Slow down, what's going on?
- I took it. - You took what?
The acid.
What? What are you talking about?
- What acid? - From the tin in your jacket.
We were studying Picasso in art, I thought... I thought
it would be fun, but I think I might be starting to lose it.
Okay. Okay.
We're just... we're just gonna ride this out.
You-You've been here before, right?
- No, never. - What? Are you insane?
That is some pretty high-octane stuff for your first time.
I know, but it's, like, a hundred years old!
- I mean, how strong could it be? - I don't know, Sabrina.
I don't think there are a lot of studies on the potency of LSD
marinating inside denim jackets for two decades.
All right, okay... I-I'll be there in 20 minutes.
Just, I'll meet you out front.
Uh, no way.
Mm-mm, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
I'm not leaving, I can't do it and I won't do it.
Yes, you can and you will. You just open the door
- and you walk out. - And then what?
I walk through another door and out another door
and through another door, without direction or purpose?
All right, just h-h-hold on tight.
- I'll be there soon. - Oh, God.
Dagoberto!
- Alba! - It is so good to see you.
I missed you so much!
Oh, we miss you. But I can see why you left.
This is a beautiful palace you live in.
Oh, well, maybe at first glance,
but it is more like a beautiful prison.
I spend my days scrubbing the many floors and windows.
It is a hard life.
- Oh, maybe I can help you? - Oh, no, no, no.
No, no. I would not subject you to my personal hell.
- Don't be silly. It's no trouble. - Dagoberto,
- yeah, I am telling you... - I can do anything...
You need to un...
Uh, M-Mr. Chip,
you are home so early.
Okay, whatever you're doing, just stop.
Who's this guy?
- Wha... - I am Dagoberto.
- It is so nice to... - Uh, yeah.
Okay.
All right, what the hell is going on here?
Okay, he is my cousin from Guatemala.
I-If word ever got back to my family
of the life that I am living, they would disown me.
I mean, to come to America and not work is very shameful.
- It's also shameful in America. - Well...
Please, I-I just need you to pretend
that I am still the keeper of this house.
So you want me to treat you like a maid?
- Yeah. - Yeah, I can do that.
Oh, thank you, Chip. Hey, why are you here, anyway?
Shouldn't you be in school?
Oh, I got sent home because I was making fun
of some kid in gym class.
I was destroying him with sick burns.
I made him cry in front of everyone, so...
Yeah. Whatever you say.
- Put this in my room. - What? Oh, you s...
Come on, Sabrina, you got to give me something.
I can't look in every single closet in the school.
There's a mop. I see a mop.
And shelves, look for shelves.
You're describing the inside of a closet.
Uh, I hear music.
Music or dying birds?
Sabrina, open the door.
How do I know it's you?
You just saw me.
You don't know what I saw.
Okay, Sabrina,
if you get expelled, I will lock you in a closet
for the rest of your life.
All right, that... I-I-I'm just kidding.
I won't do that. Listen to me.
Please open the door.
No.
Devin. Only Devin can come in.
Who the hell is Devin?
He took it with me.
He understands.
All right.
What does Devin look like?
Uh, he's-he's tall-ish.
Eccentric but not pretentious.
And... Oh, hi-his face.
It-it can-can look like a stranger's
but then can also look as familiar as your own.
Right, right. Cool.
Super helpful.
Are you serious?
How the hell am I supposed to find...
Devin.
Hey, hey. You're Devin. You're on acid.
No, no, no. You're not in trouble. Everything's good.
I'm just trying to...
No, wait, I just need to talk to you for just... Whoa!
Wow.
Could've approached that better, I see that.
So, uh, when is your vacation over?
- Well, I was gonna tell you over dinner. - Uh-huh.
But I am here forever.
What?
You have inspired me. I see how good you are doing,
and I think maybe I can do that, too.
Oh, Dag, you cannot do this.
Why not?
Well... it-it is great,
but America, oh, it is the worst.
What if I worked here with you?
Then, your job would not be so hard,
and we could see each other every day.
- That would be... - Alba, I feel like ripping some breakfast.
I'm thinking... Mini-Wheats?
Yeah. Right away, Mr. Chip.
Where'd you fly in, JFK?
Newark.
New Jersey sucks.
Okay, here we go.
I'm probably gonna need a bowl.
Yes. Uh, they are in the cupboard.
Let me grab one for you.
No problem.
I'll just start pouring, and if there's no bowl,
looks like you're gonna have a big mess on your hands.
What? I... oh, okay, uh...
Let me just...
No...
- And time for milk. - No, it's... wait,
just, I-it's... ay!
Wait, no, wait, if you could just...
Please! Wait!
Whoa.
Look at Charlie Hustle.
Good for you.
- What's your name again? - Dagoberto.
Where do you keep the cleaning supplies?
- I have no idea. - Uh...
You know, they are in the hall closet.
- Can you get them for me? - Yeah.
This could actually be a good thing. Hey, Chip.
I need you to hire Dagoberto and put him to work.
E-Expose him to all the horrors of-of being in this place.
Alba, please.
I'd be happy to.
Oh.
Sabrina, open up. I'm here with Devin.
- Ah, got you. - Liar! Liar!
You filthy, lying bitch!
- Yup, I'm the worst. Come on, let's go. - No!
Sabrina, just come with me, please. Plea...
- No. - Whoa. Stop it. What are you doing?
I need Devin. I'm not going anywhere without Devin.
Why? What is so special about this kid?
He's on my level. You don't understand.
Sabrina, I'm trying to help you.
I just need you to trust me, okay...
Get your hands off of me!
Quiet, quiet. Stop it.
Hold still. Quiet!
Do you understand? Shut up.
Okay... that's how you want to play it...
so be it.
- What are you doing? - Well,
if you won't come out, then I'm going in.
What have I done?
I don't even enjoy making fun of the kid, you know.
But dude's got no pubes. I had to clown him.
Everybody knows I'm super funny,
so I think it was kind of expected.
I don't know, he'll be, he'll be, he'll be fine, right?
You know, I feel like he'll just go to school tomorrow,
and people won't even remember him
getting lit up like that.
He's actually a really dope kid.
I'm sure he'll sprout hella pubes any day now.
Uh, Mr. Chip, can I talk to you?
Fine.
Yo, Dag, do you think you could trim those hedges out front
and make 'em look like me?
Dude's got an insane motor.
Yeah, he never stops, and I can't take it.
You need to run him into the ground.
Alba, today I woke up with no maids.
But now I have two.
Dag is the best thing that's happened to this family
since Jimmy left.
Chip, you cannot do this.
No, it's already done.
So, why don't you go up to the attic
and sweep those black widows before someone gets bit.
What are you laughing at?
Nothing. What are you laughing at?
I don't know.
Whoa.
Okay, let's make moves.
Last time I did this, I got claustrophobic,
and I was in a football stadium.
I just gotta do something real quick.
No, no-no-no-no-no, you don't.
Come on, Sabrina, I really think we should...
Oh.
Again.
Yep. Yep. Again.
Wait.
Whoa.
Oh...
Uh-uh, uh-uh. Don't look at it. We gotta go. Let's go.
We gotta get you out of here before you get busted.
Oh, stop acting like you care.
You just want me gone.
I just don't want you to sabotage yourself.
But I would've killed for the opportunities you have.
- Hey. - Hmm?
You think you're capable of killing someone?
Without a doubt, but listen to me.
Your whole entire world is about to open up.
If you worry too much about finding out who you are,
then you're never gonna find out who you are.
- Wait. - Huh?
I wanted to be a musician.
- You did? - Yeah.
I put so much time into getting high
and going to concerts.
Well, that's not the same as learning an instrument.
And I see that now, but you know what, I was afraid.
And, unless you get yourself out there, you're just gonna become
a face in-in a massive crowd, just praying to God
that you double-knotted your shoes tight enough.
I don't want that. We should go.
- Yes. - Wait.
Can we bring this?
Absolutely.
Hmm. Okay. We just need to walk down that hallway
and right out the door.
Easy-peasy, something squeezy.
- Left. - Mm-hmm.
Right. Left.
Right.
- We're doing it. - See?
- Look at us. Oh. - We got this.
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
Nice and easy.
Oh.
No.
Oh, no.
- Oh... oh, no. Wait. - Wait.
Wait, no, no.
No, Mickey!
No, Mickey...!
Sabrina! No!
No, no...
Devin. Oh, thank God. Thank God I found you.
You gotta help me. I'm on acid.
Aah...!
How does he do that?
Aunt Mickey?
Ben!
My sweet, sweet little angel.
What are you doing here?
I go to school here.
Yes. Yes, I know.
Why aren't you in class?
I had to poop. What are you doing?
Right this moment, I'm shepherding Sabrina
through a journey of self-revelation.
But in-in the big picture, I...
oh, I-I'm sorry, I...
I don't know.
Geno Pinero to the principal's office.
What was that? Was that in my head?
It's an announcement. It was in my head, too.
Wait, so everyone in the whole school can hear that?
Yeah, I guess so.
Ben, you're a genius!
Now, go poop!
Alba!
Hey, Garfield, nap time's over.
- Did you not hear me calling your name? - I heard you.
All right, well, I spilled a bunch of Bolognese
in the upstairs hallway, so I'm gonna need you to mop that up.
Oh, I don't think I'll be
mopping meat sauces anymore.
You know, Chip, I got to thinking about
your gym class story, and it doesn't add up.
Chip, a bully? No.
Chip is a coward.
So I call your school,
and they said you signed yourself out
after an incident in the boys' locker room.
Uh, yeah.
'Cause I was just ripping on that pube-less loser so bad
that I just wanted to get out of there, give him time to recover.
Okay. That makes sense.
Oh, eh, but one more thing.
You know, I am your maid, so I clean your room.
And I find something very interesting.
I don't know what that is. What is that? Give it to me
- right now. - You know, at first, I thought to myself,
what is this? Is it a key ring,
or some sort of school project that I am not aware of?
What do you think it is?
- I-I-I have no idea. - Hmm.
A mystery.
Well, I guess I will just have to burn it.
No! Please don't! I spent a fortune on that thing.
That's Arabian horse hair.
Ha! Then you do admit it.
Fine! I admit it!
Okay, I am smooth as a frickin' dolphin!
Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?!
No. I want you to fire Dagoberto,
or this ends up at the top of the flagpole,
and your whole school will be pledging allegiance
to your little penis wig.
Disgusting.
Whew.
Hey, what class is this?
Deutsch drei.
What?
Was that English? What are you saying?
Bitch.
Hey. Psst. Where am I?
Nur Deutsch, fräulein.
Oh. Please, dear God help me.
Hmm?
Mm-hmm, you're right. I don't speak your language.
But I am a good person.
I mean well. I've been abandoned.
All right, come on. Let's go see Principal Gibbons.
Let go!
Ma'am, it's for office use only.
Give it to me!
Now could I please have the attention
of one student?
- Everyone else stop listening. - Shh!
Please meet me a-at the closet
where we mixed the colors
and began the journey to discover ourselves.
I remember.
May God be with you.
Oh, Mickey.
You wanted to see me, Mr. Chip?
Y-Yeah. Uh, I...
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
We're-we're gonna...
we're gonna have to let you go.
What?
But why? Wh-What-what did I do wrong?
You're straight up just bad at your job.
Please, just give me another chance.
I'll work ten times harder, a thousand times.
Yes, have some compassion.
He was just trying to learn.
I can teach him.
Well...
I mean, I guess, I guess we could work some...
No.
My mind is made up.
The decision is final.
Ay, that is tough.
I'm so sorry, primo.
Wow. That took cajones, Chip.
Perfectly smooth cojones.
When did you stop hearing the music?
- Oh! Oh. - Oh!
- Sorry! - It's okay.
- Oh. - It's okay. I'm okay.
- You found me. - Am I bleeding?
Yeah, but it's really red and so beautiful.
Thank you so much for saying that.
Let's get the hell out of here.
- Yes, please. - Yeah.
No way. What language were they speaking?
- I don't know, but it wasn't human. - Whoa.
- And then you saved me. - I'm very brave.
- Yeah, we're both incredible. Unstoppable. - Yeah.
I mean, we can do anything.
- Listen. - What?
- I'm gonna get back into my music, okay? - Yes.
Really start getting lit up and going to shows.
Yes! What time is it?
It's time to stop messing around,
and really give this thing a go.
No, no, what time is it, like on a clock?
Oh. Yeah. 2:30. Why?
- My Yale interview! - Your Yale interview!
- I'm gonna do it. - No. Not now.
No.
No!
- Sabrina... - You can't stop what's supposed
to happen, Mickey!
Hi. Sabrina Pemberton, I am here for the Yale interview.
Ms. Pemberton, I was beginning to think you weren't coming.
Hi. Mickey. Mackenzie. Molng.
I-I should be here, right? I feel like I should be here.
Generally, we like to talk to prospective students alone.
We'll have her back to you in no time.
Oh, she's good. You don't need me.
She doesn't need me.
No one needs me. I'm alone. Oh, no. Um...
Oh, no. Here we go.
Play.
I-I...
I don't know if I can.
I mean, I-I-I've been to a lot of shows.
Play.
My essay, it-it was nothing more than lies.
A fairy tale about a self-assured little girl
who pretends to know exactly what she wants
and where she's going.
Nope.
But the truth is that I-I don't know who I am or what I want.
It's not important. What is important
is the experience of figuring those things out.
Mickey. Mickey!
- Hmm? - What the hell are you doing?
Oh, Devin encouraged me to...
Nothing. What are you doing?
Oh, I'm gonna go to Yale.
But because I decided to.
Good for you. I became a musician.
You absolutely did not.
I actually feel like I'm starting to come down.
How about you? Not as bad as Foxboro, right?
You good to drive?
Yep.
- Am I bleeding? - Yeah.