1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,523
Previously on Mom...

2
00:00:01,703 --> 00:00:04,533
Santa Cruz is only a three
hour and 12 minute drive.

3
00:00:04,534 --> 00:00:07,502
Do you think we should try
the long-distance thing?

4
00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:08,953
I'm game.

5
00:00:08,955 --> 00:00:11,423
Don't I know you from that
time we slept together?

6
00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:14,092
It's kind of a bad time.
I-I really got to study.

7
00:00:16,963 --> 00:00:19,631
This isn't just hooking up anymore.

8
00:00:19,633 --> 00:00:24,769
Cooper, look... I just don't
have the same feelings for you.

9
00:00:24,771 --> 00:00:26,523
I just don't get it, Christy.

10
00:00:26,529 --> 00:00:28,807
I mean, it would be one thing
if there was another guy.

11
00:00:28,809 --> 00:00:30,358
Oh! There is.

12
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,313
There's totally another guy.

13
00:00:35,108 --> 00:00:36,976
I guess I want to be with the other guy.

14
00:00:36,982 --> 00:00:40,318
Wow, Christy's driving down
to Santa Cruz to see Patrick.

15
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,954
? I'm so excited ?

16
00:00:42,956 --> 00:00:45,456
? And I just can't hide it ?

17
00:00:46,677 --> 00:00:50,316
? I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know I want you ?

18
00:00:50,322 --> 00:00:51,673
? I want you. ?

19
00:00:52,416 --> 00:00:54,481
- _
- Come on, Bonnie!

20
00:00:54,487 --> 00:00:56,699
This wedding starts at 3:00.

21
00:00:56,705 --> 00:00:57,916
You ready?

22
00:00:57,922 --> 00:00:59,885
Unfortunately, yes.

23
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,972
- Wow. You look...
- I know.

24
00:01:03,978 --> 00:01:05,650
"Ho, ho, ho, Green Giant."

25
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,864
How'd you get roped into this?

26
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:10,468
I made the mistake of being nice.

27
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,004
Judy's in our meeting. One time
I told her to hang in there.

28
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:15,934
Next thing I know, I'm her
emergency contact and a bridesmaid.

29
00:01:16,942 --> 00:01:19,669
Wait a minute. I put on a tie
for a woman you barely know?

30
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:20,958
You wanna trade?

31
00:01:22,653 --> 00:01:24,181
How did Christy get out of this?

32
00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:26,552
Judy hates her. They shared
the coffee commitment once,

33
00:01:26,558 --> 00:01:28,161
and it almost led to a fistfight.

34
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:30,246
Stupid Marjorie broke it up.

35
00:01:31,762 --> 00:01:33,441
Have you seen my pearl earrings?

36
00:01:33,443 --> 00:01:35,860
I've never noticed
earrings in my entire life.

37
00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:39,013
Except for the guy at my Starbucks.

38
00:01:39,019 --> 00:01:41,532
He's got, like, a piece of
driftwood in there. I can't...

39
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,811
Hey, Mom.

40
00:01:46,817 --> 00:01:48,919
Hi. Do you know where
my pearl earrings are?

41
00:01:49,106 --> 00:01:52,043
No idea. And again, they're not pearls.

42
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,840
They're just white plastic beads.

43
00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:57,582
Yeah, well, now I have no
earrings to wear to the wedding.

44
00:01:57,588 --> 00:01:59,945
I've seen that dress.
You don't need earrings.

45
00:01:59,951 --> 00:02:01,934
You need a rim of salt around your head.

46
00:02:03,572 --> 00:02:05,269
How's it going with Patrick?

47
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:08,254
It's not. I've been stuck
in traffic for hours.

48
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:10,394
I'm close to peeing in my Big Gulp.

49
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:13,744
If you do, make sure you
dump it out the window.

50
00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,393
I had a bad experience once.

51
00:02:18,247 --> 00:02:21,072
After all this, I just hope
he's home when I get there.

52
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:22,719
You didn't call first?

53
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:23,925
No!

54
00:02:23,931 --> 00:02:27,780
You don't call ahead when you're
about to make a big romantic gesture.

55
00:02:27,905 --> 00:02:30,311
Have you never seen a
Sandra Bullock movie?

56
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,873
Not willingly, no.

57
00:02:33,584 --> 00:02:37,208
You don't call before you run
to the airport to stop the plane,

58
00:02:37,214 --> 00:02:39,288
or bang on the church window,

59
00:02:39,294 --> 00:02:42,890
or go back in time to make
sure your parents kiss.

60
00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:45,288
You just do it.

61
00:02:47,609 --> 00:02:49,834
Mom? Did I lose you?

62
00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:51,401
Damn it.

63
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:53,821
If you're there, I can't hear you.

64
00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:55,027
Mom?

65
00:02:56,113 --> 00:02:58,515
I'm pretending I can't hear
her. It drives her crazy.

66
00:03:00,542 --> 00:03:01,742
Mom?

67
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:03,281
Mom!

68
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:04,861
Mom?!

69
00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:07,060
Mom?!

70
00:03:16,466 --> 00:03:18,262
Oh, my God, he isn't here?

71
00:03:18,662 --> 00:03:20,298
Oh, my God, what have I done?

72
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,156
Oh, Lucy. Lucy girl.

73
00:03:35,553 --> 00:03:36,756
Christy?

74
00:03:37,156 --> 00:03:39,235
- Hi.
- Hi.

75
00:03:39,241 --> 00:03:41,353
Uh... what are you doing?

76
00:03:41,359 --> 00:03:43,845
Making a big romantic gesture.

77
00:03:44,751 --> 00:03:46,242
On my roses?

78
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,100
Patrick, I want to be with you.

79
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:51,906
Well, I want to be with you, too.

80
00:03:51,912 --> 00:03:53,274
- Great.
- I'll tell you what.

81
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,886
Um, when you're done,

82
00:03:54,892 --> 00:03:56,496
come on inside. We'll
have a little snack,

83
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:59,097
and we'll erase the
security video together.

84
00:04:02,391 --> 00:04:04,080
I don't think your dog likes me.

85
00:04:04,086 --> 00:04:05,871
Well, you are on her spot.

86
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,993
Come on. Come on.
Come on, Lucy. Come on.

87
00:04:08,201 --> 00:04:10,452
? ?

88
00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:22,468
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -

89
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:25,996
Have you looked at this schedule?

90
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,811
The service is an hour and a half.

91
00:04:29,193 --> 00:04:31,070
It's a full Mass with Communion,

92
00:04:31,076 --> 00:04:33,903
a "Blessing of the People."
What the hell is that?

93
00:04:34,095 --> 00:04:37,188
It's when I whisper "Hail,
Satan" under my breath.

94
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:38,854
This is gonna be torture.

95
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:41,081
Oh, relax. We'll just
make out in the back row.

96
00:04:41,087 --> 00:04:42,867
Sweetheart, you're in the ceremony.

97
00:04:42,873 --> 00:04:44,674
Didn't you go to the rehearsal?

98
00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,424
Rehearsal? I'm not hosting SNL.

99
00:04:47,884 --> 00:04:49,595
Hey, when we finally do this,

100
00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:52,095
I say we knock it out at
City Hall, grab some Chinese,

101
00:04:52,101 --> 00:04:54,008
and we're on a plane
to Hawaii by sundown.

102
00:04:54,014 --> 00:04:56,162
See, that is why I am marrying you.

103
00:04:57,917 --> 00:04:59,244
Some day.

104
00:05:00,732 --> 00:05:02,609
Aw, geez, after the ceremony,

105
00:05:02,615 --> 00:05:05,211
there's a 45-minute
drive to the reception?

106
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,784
This better be an open bar.

107
00:05:07,192 --> 00:05:09,186
Yeah, about that...

108
00:05:09,192 --> 00:05:11,208
Hmm, it's a dry wedding.

109
00:05:11,598 --> 00:05:14,192
No alcohol? Why didn't you tell me?

110
00:05:14,198 --> 00:05:17,215
Same reason you don't tell a
baby he's about to be circumcised.

111
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:31,549
Does she always do that?

112
00:05:32,428 --> 00:05:34,983
Uh, well, it's been a long
time since she's seen me

113
00:05:34,989 --> 00:05:36,505
kissing anyone but her.

114
00:05:39,981 --> 00:05:42,754
I have been waiting so
long to do this with you.

115
00:05:43,065 --> 00:05:45,948
And by "this" I mean... more than this.

116
00:05:46,354 --> 00:05:48,457
Like a naked version of this.

117
00:05:48,463 --> 00:05:50,077
Ooh, that sounds fun.

118
00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:54,849
Maybe without Big Eyes.

119
00:05:55,325 --> 00:05:57,661
Lucy, squirrel in the back of the house!

120
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,138
There's no squirrels.

121
00:06:02,752 --> 00:06:04,944
- Mmm.
- Oh. Mmm.

122
00:06:04,950 --> 00:06:06,260
- Mmm.
- Oh.

123
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:08,962
I can't go back any farther.

124
00:06:09,094 --> 00:06:11,098
There's, like, nine pillows behind me.

125
00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:14,314
Uh, yeah, well, uh, my
ex-wife is a decorator,

126
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,119
and she's really into throw
pillows. And art and furniture.

127
00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:20,192
Pretty much everything in
the house that's not me.

128
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:22,204
Mmm.

129
00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:28,649
So, what you're saying is your
ex-wife is kind of everywhere.

130
00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:34,677
Yeah. I never really thought about that.

131
00:06:36,544 --> 00:06:39,127
It's just that it's our
first time, and I want it

132
00:06:39,133 --> 00:06:40,963
- to be perfect.
- You know what?

133
00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:43,230
I got a surprise for you now.

134
00:06:43,466 --> 00:06:47,334
How about you and me find
a really nice hotel room?

135
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,905
Oh, my God, hotel sex?

136
00:06:49,911 --> 00:06:51,682
That's the best kind of sex there is.

137
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:58,179
I know. Such a beautiful
service. So moving.

138
00:06:58,181 --> 00:07:00,041
I'll see you at the reception.

139
00:07:00,785 --> 00:07:03,176
Oh, my God, that was endless.

140
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,191
The standing up, the sitting down.

141
00:07:07,347 --> 00:07:10,098
That guy walking around
throwing smoke at people.

142
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,311
And if I have to wait
in line for a cracker,

143
00:07:12,317 --> 00:07:14,676
would it kill 'em to spray
a little cheese on it?

144
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:18,708
I don't know. I thought the
children's choir was kind of nice.

145
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:21,952
Really? 'Cause I was hoping a bigger
choir would come and beat 'em up.

146
00:07:21,954 --> 00:07:25,530
Come on. They were singing
about love in Italian.

147
00:07:25,536 --> 00:07:28,065
Oh, they could have been singing
about linguine. You don't know.

148
00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:31,572
Are your eyes red?

149
00:07:33,024 --> 00:07:34,730
Please tell me you weren't crying.

150
00:07:34,736 --> 00:07:36,213
No. Just...

151
00:07:36,361 --> 00:07:39,219
the whole thing got to me a little
more than I thought it would.

152
00:07:40,236 --> 00:07:44,883
When they took their two little
candles and lit the one big candle.

153
00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:48,188
They're the one big candle now.

154
00:07:50,086 --> 00:07:51,773
Sorry, I didn't notice.

155
00:07:51,779 --> 00:07:55,469
At that point, I was trying to slice
my Spanx open with a nail clipper.

156
00:07:57,269 --> 00:08:00,269
Hey, would it be so terrible if we
did the candle thing at our wedding?

157
00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:03,467
- Maybe we even get married in a church.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

158
00:08:03,473 --> 00:08:05,960
What happened to City
Hall, Chinese food, Hawaii?

159
00:08:05,966 --> 00:08:09,266
I don't know. Maybe we should
do something more traditional.

160
00:08:10,818 --> 00:08:13,881
The only reason I am not
driving head-on into traffic

161
00:08:13,887 --> 00:08:15,788
is I don't want to die in this dress.

162
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,135
So this room's working for ya.

163
00:08:22,773 --> 00:08:24,180
Oh, yeah.

164
00:08:29,878 --> 00:08:31,181
Was that you?

165
00:08:31,187 --> 00:08:32,411
Not yet.

166
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:37,179
Oh, God, yes.

167
00:08:39,386 --> 00:08:40,746
Still not me.

168
00:08:42,339 --> 00:08:44,306
You know what? I think
we've got some neighbors.

169
00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:46,599
Why don't we try to tune 'em out?

170
00:08:52,295 --> 00:08:53,598
Oh!

171
00:09:09,947 --> 00:09:12,066
Well, that guy has a gear I don't have.

172
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:18,224
- I'm really sorry.
- No, no, no, no, no.

173
00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:21,185
I get it. I get it. That
second girl got pretty loud.

174
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,233
So where to now?

175
00:09:25,235 --> 00:09:28,736
Well, I'm gonna take
us to my favorite beach.

176
00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:32,039
It's really secluded and very romantic.

177
00:09:32,984 --> 00:09:35,341
Oh. The beach.

178
00:09:35,578 --> 00:09:38,221
I think you mean, "Oh, the beach!"

179
00:09:38,631 --> 00:09:40,327
No, I-I love the beach.

180
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,427
- I just don't love the beach naked.
- Ah.

181
00:09:43,052 --> 00:09:45,533
Women are kind of like English muffins.

182
00:09:45,825 --> 00:09:47,972
We have a lot of nooks and crannies.

183
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,039
What's going on?

184
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,947
Well, Christy, um...

185
00:09:58,633 --> 00:10:00,166
I just got to ask.

186
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,418
Are you having second
thoughts about this?

187
00:10:02,424 --> 00:10:03,635
- What? No.
- No, no, no.

188
00:10:03,641 --> 00:10:06,023
It-it's okay, because i-if you're not

189
00:10:06,025 --> 00:10:08,551
feeling right about
it, then we can wait.

190
00:10:08,611 --> 00:10:10,318
No, I don't want to wait.

191
00:10:10,324 --> 00:10:14,416
I just want to look back on
tonight and be like, "aw,"

192
00:10:14,599 --> 00:10:16,088
not "Meh."

193
00:10:16,503 --> 00:10:18,905
Well, nobody's looking for "Meh."

194
00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:22,318
It's just that if the
first time isn't great,

195
00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:24,806
then the next time you're
worried it won't be good again,

196
00:10:24,812 --> 00:10:26,236
and then you're all
messed up in your head,

197
00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:27,840
and then the pressure's really on.

198
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,330
I never thought of it that way.

199
00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:33,721
But I am now.

200
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:38,696
You know what? I'm being ridiculous.

201
00:10:38,702 --> 00:10:41,069
Of course it's gonna be
perfect, because it's you and me.

202
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,275
Yeah.

203
00:10:43,813 --> 00:10:45,187
You know what?

204
00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,987
Let's do it right here, right now.

205
00:10:47,993 --> 00:10:51,269
Oh. Ha. Boy, you're-you're...

206
00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:53,903
you're putting a lot of
pressure on the next six minutes.

207
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,744
Let's take this party to the back.

208
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,196
- Woo-hoo!
- Phew.

209
00:11:02,910 --> 00:11:05,063
You got to be back here for the party.

210
00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:07,071
Yes, I know how sex works.

211
00:11:09,131 --> 00:11:10,448
Are you all right?

212
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:13,625
Well, I was until you started
talking about all that stuff.

213
00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:16,350
How could it be perfect?
I've never been perfect.

214
00:11:16,356 --> 00:11:17,952
I've been very good at best.

215
00:11:18,695 --> 00:11:20,808
- It's okay, Patrick.
- No, it's not okay. It's not.

216
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:24,118
I-I... I can't breathe.
I-I need some air.

217
00:11:27,857 --> 00:11:29,240
I changed my mind!

218
00:11:29,242 --> 00:11:31,455
I'd be perfectly happy with "Meh."

219
00:11:37,336 --> 00:11:38,972
How you feeling, Patrick?

220
00:11:40,271 --> 00:11:42,430
Ah, pretty embarrassed, Christy.

221
00:11:43,428 --> 00:11:45,061
Can I come over and visit?

222
00:11:45,904 --> 00:11:47,116
Okay.

223
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:00,471
This is my fault.

224
00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:03,881
I made tonight into a way bigger deal

225
00:12:03,887 --> 00:12:06,280
- than it needed to be.
- No. I-It's not you.

226
00:12:06,286 --> 00:12:07,547
It's not you.

227
00:12:07,766 --> 00:12:09,345
Look, I was married for 30 years

228
00:12:09,351 --> 00:12:11,851
and the last five, we
didn't touch each other.

229
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,041
And all that talk about being perfect

230
00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:18,735
triggered what WebMD diagnosed as
a mild-to-moderate panic attack.

231
00:12:19,831 --> 00:12:21,218
That's not sexy.

232
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:24,406
I think you're very sexy.

233
00:12:26,388 --> 00:12:29,648
So, you're still interested in a...

234
00:12:29,804 --> 00:12:33,393
middle-aged neurotic with only
one-and-a-half notches on his belt?

235
00:12:34,219 --> 00:12:35,911
Very interested.

236
00:12:40,512 --> 00:12:42,085
How 'bout this? Uh...

237
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:46,402
we go back to your place, go to
sleep... and I mean actual sleep...

238
00:12:46,408 --> 00:12:48,741
and start fresh in the morning.

239
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,725
I love that idea.

240
00:12:57,336 --> 00:12:59,377
So I'm curious...

241
00:12:59,836 --> 00:13:02,298
What counts as half a notch?

242
00:13:06,054 --> 00:13:09,712
I'm holding firm on my stance.
You're not supposed to take that.

243
00:13:09,714 --> 00:13:11,746
They ran out of centerpieces.

244
00:13:13,108 --> 00:13:15,836
And... and I deserve a takeaway

245
00:13:15,842 --> 00:13:17,936
for the pain and
suffering of this dress.

246
00:13:17,942 --> 00:13:20,012
Pretty sure that's hotel property.

247
00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:23,117
No, they expect you to take 'em.
It's like robes and televisions.

248
00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:27,413
How amazing was that reception?

249
00:13:27,419 --> 00:13:28,749
What was so great about it?

250
00:13:29,028 --> 00:13:31,741
Did you not see the mountain of gifts?

251
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:34,849
They wiped out Pottery
Barn. Now it's just a barn.

252
00:13:36,364 --> 00:13:38,155
You really think they
need all that junk?

253
00:13:38,161 --> 00:13:40,046
Of course not. They're
at the store tomorrow,

254
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:42,493
returning all that stuff
for cold, hard cash.

255
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,737
And how 'bout the dollar dance?

256
00:13:44,743 --> 00:13:47,136
You pin money on the
bride to dance with her?

257
00:13:47,142 --> 00:13:49,556
What genius came up with that idea?

258
00:13:50,149 --> 00:13:52,349
Probably the first
stripper to get married.

259
00:13:54,537 --> 00:13:56,867
Well, I am definitely
doing that at our wedding.

260
00:13:56,873 --> 00:14:00,189
And I'll make more money, because
I've six feet of pinnable area.

261
00:14:00,849 --> 00:14:02,416
You're incredible.

262
00:14:02,422 --> 00:14:04,233
Oh, you know what else we could do?

263
00:14:04,239 --> 00:14:05,964
Corporate sponsors.

264
00:14:06,948 --> 00:14:09,340
"Do you, Bonnie, take
Adam to be your husband?"

265
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:13,789
"I sure do, especially after
driving here on Firestone tires."

266
00:14:16,203 --> 00:14:19,720
Honey, our wedding
could be a real cash cow.

267
00:14:20,617 --> 00:14:21,829
Wow.

268
00:14:22,399 --> 00:14:25,586
I tell you how moved I was
by this beautiful ceremony,

269
00:14:25,592 --> 00:14:27,117
and you crap all over it.

270
00:14:27,123 --> 00:14:29,422
And then you see a pile of toaster ovens

271
00:14:29,428 --> 00:14:31,724
and a woman with 20s taped to her ass,

272
00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,130
and you can't get enough.

273
00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:35,927
Oh, so you're allowed
to change your mind

274
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:37,945
about what kind of wedding
you want, but I'm not?

275
00:14:37,951 --> 00:14:40,927
It's bigger than our wedding, Bonnie.
It's about what we want in life.

276
00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:48,196
I want a fiancé who's
not a Catholic schoolgirl.

277
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:58,790
Oh. Oh.

278
00:14:59,459 --> 00:15:02,380
- Good morning.
- Ooh, oh. Lucy, off.

279
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,937
Oh. No, no, no, no, no. It's-it's okay.

280
00:15:04,943 --> 00:15:06,849
No, it's not okay. She's on the boys.

281
00:15:06,855 --> 00:15:09,091
Lucy, off. Come on. Come on. Attagirl.

282
00:15:10,393 --> 00:15:11,593
Phew.

283
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:13,904
Hey. How'd you sleep?

284
00:15:13,910 --> 00:15:15,201
- Ah.
- Huh.

285
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,133
Great. You?

286
00:15:17,324 --> 00:15:18,702
Excellent.

287
00:15:19,473 --> 00:15:21,567
I think we got this part
of the relationship down.

288
00:15:22,169 --> 00:15:25,967
- Yes, we have nailed sleeping.
- All right. Well, you know what?

289
00:15:25,973 --> 00:15:27,598
That settles it then.

290
00:15:27,770 --> 00:15:30,069
We'll be one of those
weird couples who sleeps

291
00:15:30,075 --> 00:15:31,567
in the same room and never has sex.

292
00:15:31,573 --> 00:15:33,593
Ah, like Bert and Ernie.

293
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,192
Oh, those guys are totally doing it.

294
00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:39,580
- Well, then, maybe we should.
- Mmm.

295
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:49,796
Oh, boy, so glad we
didn't give up on this.

296
00:15:49,802 --> 00:15:51,133
Me, too.

297
00:15:51,139 --> 00:15:54,059
I mean, the-the long-distance thing

298
00:15:54,065 --> 00:15:57,055
could have been a lot for
other people. But, you know...

299
00:15:57,166 --> 00:16:00,869
I mean, we could've just
started seeing someone else.

300
00:16:01,971 --> 00:16:03,456
Really happy we didn't.

301
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,180
We didn't, right?

302
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:12,416
Well...

303
00:16:15,102 --> 00:16:18,081
Why on Earth would you tell
Patrick you slept with another guy

304
00:16:18,087 --> 00:16:20,605
right before you were
about to sleep with Patrick?

305
00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:22,006
It just came up.

306
00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:24,092
- How?
- I brought it up.

307
00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:28,925
Cold SpaghettiOs? That
says self-loathing.

308
00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:32,138
Yeah, and I'm using the
spoon that snags your lip.

309
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:34,545
Ow.

310
00:16:35,909 --> 00:16:37,240
I deserve that.

311
00:16:38,124 --> 00:16:39,553
So why did you tell him?

312
00:16:40,257 --> 00:16:42,915
I didn't want to start the
relationship off with a lie.

313
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:46,040
That's fine, but you got to
bang their brains out first.

314
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,531
Then you can be honest.

315
00:16:48,088 --> 00:16:51,005
I do it with Adam all the time.
It's the main reason we have sex.

316
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,735
Oh, it is not.

317
00:16:54,549 --> 00:16:56,627
You and Adam are great together.

318
00:16:56,633 --> 00:16:58,659
I'd give anything for what you have.

319
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:01,637
Not today. We had a huge fight.

320
00:17:01,643 --> 00:17:03,851
All of a sudden he wants a
traditional church wedding.

321
00:17:04,831 --> 00:17:07,254
Doesn't he know that if you
walk into a church wearing white,

322
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,745
you'll burst into flames?

323
00:17:10,635 --> 00:17:12,070
Thank you.

324
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,670
Mom? Adam?

325
00:17:23,687 --> 00:17:26,406
Are you somewhere in here having sex?

326
00:17:28,413 --> 00:17:29,835
Boy, I hope not.

327
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:32,031
Patrick.

328
00:17:34,752 --> 00:17:36,338
This is for me?

329
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:42,545
Well, you're not the only one who
can make a big romantic gesture.

330
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,430
? Slow ride ?

331
00:17:46,937 --> 00:17:50,474
- ? Take it easy... ?
- Sorry, uh, wrong song!

332
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,486
Ha, I-I work out to that.

333
00:17:52,492 --> 00:17:54,889
Okay. That's supposed to be Seal.

334
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,180
And, uh, oh, sorry.

335
00:17:57,186 --> 00:17:59,000
Oh, I-I-I can't find it.

336
00:17:59,006 --> 00:18:01,118
Uh, look-look, j-just try to imagine

337
00:18:01,124 --> 00:18:03,299
"Kiss From a Rose"
playing in the back...

338
00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:11,103
I love that you did all this.

339
00:18:11,802 --> 00:18:14,083
I'm-I'm so sorry I overreacted.

340
00:18:14,089 --> 00:18:16,114
You easily could have lied and I

341
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,065
- never would have known. Uh...
- I forgive you. Bedroom's this way.

342
00:18:19,888 --> 00:18:22,007
- Oh, damn it.
- What?

343
00:18:22,209 --> 00:18:23,481
I forgot condoms.

344
00:18:23,487 --> 00:18:25,198
Oh, I got a ton of 'em.

345
00:18:25,975 --> 00:18:27,990
Don't think about it. Just get up here.

346
00:18:38,647 --> 00:18:39,847
Hey.

347
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:41,185
Thanks for coming over.

348
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:43,511
I don't like the way we
left things the other day.

349
00:18:45,268 --> 00:18:49,192
Wow, Bonnie. You didn't
have to do all this.

350
00:18:49,198 --> 00:18:51,055
Oh, no, I... uh...

351
00:18:51,445 --> 00:18:53,071
Yes, yes, I did.

352
00:18:53,953 --> 00:18:56,156
I absolutely did.

353
00:18:56,367 --> 00:18:58,664
Because I love you.

354
00:19:04,262 --> 00:19:07,153
I love you, too. Mmm.

355
00:19:07,356 --> 00:19:09,249
Look, I don't want to
fight about wedding stuff.

356
00:19:09,255 --> 00:19:11,663
I don't either. Let's just
kick the can down the road.

357
00:19:11,669 --> 00:19:14,264
Or, I've been thinking, why don't
we throw out the can altogether?

358
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,660
What does that mean?

359
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,886
Let's just keep things
the way they are and...

360
00:19:17,892 --> 00:19:19,473
stay engaged forever.

361
00:19:19,479 --> 00:19:21,776
But I want to marry you.

362
00:19:23,886 --> 00:19:27,730
Well, I asked you six months
ago and you won't set a date.

363
00:19:27,736 --> 00:19:30,337
You know, clearly, you don't
want to be the big candle.

364
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,728
I do. I do want to be the big candle.

365
00:19:32,734 --> 00:19:34,846
Let's just be happy with what we have.

366
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,534
No.

367
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:41,925
Next year.

368
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,700
- First weekend in June. Done.
- Bonnie,

369
00:19:43,706 --> 00:19:45,299
- We're doing it. I just did it.
- Bonnie. Bonnie, we don't...

370
00:19:45,305 --> 00:19:46,684
Deal with it. Order the doves.

371
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:48,900
- Look. Watch this.
- Esp...

372
00:19:48,906 --> 00:19:50,296
I'm gonna put it in the calendar.

373
00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:54,498
Adam Barnabas Janikowski,

374
00:19:54,504 --> 00:19:55,809
did I just get played?

375
00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:57,810
Still not my middle name.

376
00:19:58,475 --> 00:19:59,751
And that depends.

377
00:19:59,757 --> 00:20:02,695
Should I open this card
that's sitting in "my" flowers?

378
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,578
- June it is.
- Sure.

379
00:20:10,548 --> 00:20:15,548
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -