1
00:00:13,698 --> 00:00:14,823
Hello.

2
00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:16,668
I saved you from a walk of shame.

3
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:18,619
I'll have you know
that the walk of shame

4
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,477
is an anti-feminist construct, okay?

5
00:00:20,502 --> 00:00:21,882
Do I look like I'm in shame?

6
00:00:21,915 --> 00:00:23,955
You're not a feminist, you're
just too lazy to walk.

7
00:00:23,979 --> 00:00:25,907
I wasn't too lazy
to smash with a guy last night

8
00:00:25,932 --> 00:00:27,629
who's basically Ryan Gosling.

9
00:00:27,654 --> 00:00:30,179
Hey, Esther,
you forgot your night guard.

10
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,657
Man, Ryan Gosling really let himself go.

11
00:00:32,747 --> 00:00:34,819
Chubby hairy guys make me
feel skinny and pretty

12
00:00:34,844 --> 00:00:36,164
like Rachel McAdams.

13
00:00:36,189 --> 00:00:38,622
Throw it to me! I don't want
to touch it. It's moldy!

14
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,694
It's not mold, it's just pesto.

15
00:00:40,719 --> 00:00:42,261
We had barbecue last night.

16
00:00:42,314 --> 00:00:43,731
Just throw it down.

17
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:47,213
You really have to
nudge him to touch stuff.

18
00:00:47,912 --> 00:00:49,399
I didn't have an orgasm.

19
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,592
All right. Thank you.

20
00:00:51,679 --> 00:00:53,097
Sorry.

21
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,265
Well, that was a short walk of shame.

22
00:00:57,806 --> 00:01:00,183
Oh, my God, you're putting
that back in your mouth?

23
00:01:00,236 --> 00:01:01,653
That's where it goes.

24
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:03,729
Relax. The sprinklers were just on.

25
00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:05,356
I thought you just wear that at night.

26
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:06,752
I've been day-grinding.

27
00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:08,732
I'm stressed about money and Boko Haram.

28
00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:10,946
Boko Haram is not in East Hollywood.
You're fine.

29
00:01:11,073 --> 00:01:12,996
You don't know that.
They could be anywhere.

30
00:01:13,021 --> 00:01:16,108
- Text me, Esther.
- See ya. Nice to meet you. I'm Benji.

31
00:01:16,395 --> 00:01:17,678
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, dude.

32
00:01:17,801 --> 00:01:19,660
Uh... this is awkward.

33
00:01:19,739 --> 00:01:22,350
- He's just my friend.
- Oh, all right.

34
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,969
Yeah, just platonic friends.
I'm not a threat or anything.

35
00:01:24,994 --> 00:01:26,544
All right, stop talking to my guy.

36
00:01:26,727 --> 00:01:28,974
- See ya.
- Yeah, see ya, man.

37
00:01:29,131 --> 00:01:30,885
Can we go to the juice place on Third?

38
00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:32,133
I want to do a cleanse.

39
00:01:32,245 --> 00:01:34,343
I'm feeling high
off my one-night stand.

40
00:01:34,487 --> 00:01:35,843
You know baby voice doesn't work on me.

41
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:36,920
I didn't just sleep with you.

42
00:01:36,944 --> 00:01:38,432
You want to ask me like an adult?

43
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,047
Let's use adult voice with me, okay?

44
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,892
Can we please go
to the juice place on Third?

45
00:01:41,953 --> 00:01:44,206
You're doing baby voice. Try again.

46
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:47,507
Cleansing will make me
feel skinny and pretty.

47
00:01:54,796 --> 00:01:58,535
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com

48
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,236
What are those?

49
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,067
I don't know. She's so hot.

50
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,843
It's hot girl food.

51
00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:08,243
Thank you.

52
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,132
Hi.

53
00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:12,527
I'll take a green herb detox

54
00:02:12,617 --> 00:02:16,841
and... the spirulina crisps...
what are those?

55
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,638
Um, is that what hot girls eat?
Will they make me glow?

56
00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:21,838
- I don't know.
- Right.

57
00:02:21,992 --> 00:02:23,953
Hot girls have secrets, like magicians.

58
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,396
They don't let anyone know.

59
00:02:25,482 --> 00:02:27,984
I'll take five. I love them.

60
00:02:28,955 --> 00:02:30,128
- Gee.
- What?

61
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,952
- That's a lot of chips, man.
- Chill.

62
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,739
Can I borrow 20 bucks?

63
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,886
- Are you serious?
- I'll pay you back.

64
00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:38,121
How is your family so rich
and you're so poor?

65
00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:39,435
I'm not broke or anything.

66
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,460
I had my identity stolen,

67
00:02:40,485 --> 00:02:41,885
so I need to just borrow some cash.

68
00:02:41,913 --> 00:02:44,206
- Can I get a vitality shot?
- Sure.

69
00:02:44,231 --> 00:02:45,459
- Thanks.
- One vitality shot.

70
00:02:45,484 --> 00:02:47,790
- I really like your nose ring.
- Thanks.

71
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,677
I've got a nose for noses

72
00:02:49,953 --> 00:02:51,203
that can handle a nose ring.

73
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,480
Most people can't nail it,

74
00:02:53,505 --> 00:02:54,665
but you're, like, nailing it.

75
00:02:54,690 --> 00:02:56,610
Just in case this is
leading up to asking me out,

76
00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,022
- I am a lesbian.
- No problem.

77
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,368
I went to a liberal arts college.

78
00:02:59,393 --> 00:03:01,304
I've dated plenty of lesbians, and...

79
00:03:01,336 --> 00:03:02,670
Wait, you're a lesbian?

80
00:03:03,457 --> 00:03:05,364
I am to guys under five-ten.

81
00:03:05,551 --> 00:03:07,677
Oh, okay, we're being mean.

82
00:03:10,016 --> 00:03:11,616
You know, shaming a guy
'cause he's short

83
00:03:11,644 --> 00:03:13,364
is like shaming a girl
for being overweight.

84
00:03:13,431 --> 00:03:14,498
We do that here too.

85
00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:15,847
Well, it's wrong.

86
00:03:17,508 --> 00:03:19,095
Any chance you guys are hiring?

87
00:03:19,174 --> 00:03:21,176
- No.
- Got it.

88
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,614
Got it.

89
00:03:25,084 --> 00:03:27,084
Everyone in that
juice place was the worst.

90
00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,160
I know. Ugh.

91
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:30,560
Is your brother home?

92
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,007
I don't think so.

93
00:03:32,032 --> 00:03:34,509
I think he's in Texas
buying foreclosed homes.

94
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:37,453
And he's a monster.
I wish he wasn't so hot.

95
00:03:37,804 --> 00:03:39,385
You have no chance with my brother.

96
00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:41,119
You wear your dad's old boxers.

97
00:03:41,144 --> 00:03:42,293
They're vintage.

98
00:03:42,318 --> 00:03:43,884
You don't know anything about style.

99
00:03:43,909 --> 00:03:45,447
That's really intimate.

100
00:03:45,472 --> 00:03:47,856
I think it's pretty obvious
that you have daddy issues.

101
00:03:47,881 --> 00:03:49,409
All the greats have daddy issues.

102
00:03:49,434 --> 00:03:51,184
Mine is just that, you know,

103
00:03:51,209 --> 00:03:53,169
I'm a constant disappointment
because I don't have

104
00:03:53,193 --> 00:03:55,716
a real job or a steady income,
and I'm a grown adult.

105
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,975
I DVR'd a Daria marathon.
You want to watch?

106
00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,863
Yeah, let's do it.

107
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:02,194
I think it's broken.

108
00:04:02,268 --> 00:04:04,478
Hey, dude, I put on the parental lock

109
00:04:04,503 --> 00:04:07,336
so my shows don't get deleted
by your stupid cartoons.

110
00:04:07,361 --> 00:04:08,852
Come on, man, I live here too.

111
00:04:08,877 --> 00:04:10,442
Wait, this is your brother?

112
00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,648
Yeah. And that's his squatter friend.

113
00:04:12,715 --> 00:04:15,576
- I just crash here sometimes.
- Are you homeless?

114
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:18,761
I actually just Airbnb
my place for rent money.

115
00:04:18,961 --> 00:04:20,962
There's an oxy addict
living on her sofa.

116
00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:23,065
You don't know that.
He's really sleepy.

117
00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:25,141
My God, you guys are so cute.

118
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:26,246
I like your accent.

119
00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,750
Did you guys meet at a youth hostel?

120
00:04:27,775 --> 00:04:28,790
We met on an app.

121
00:04:28,815 --> 00:04:30,503
Oh, like a good-looking person app?

122
00:04:30,528 --> 00:04:31,698
I mean, I didn't say it.

123
00:04:31,723 --> 00:04:32,731
Oh, God.

124
00:04:32,756 --> 00:04:34,186
So, you guys are not dating?

125
00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:36,339
Just 'cause we're both
small and undesirable,

126
00:04:36,364 --> 00:04:37,499
doesn't mean we should date.

127
00:04:37,524 --> 00:04:38,955
People think we're dating 'cause we sit

128
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:40,739
on the same side of
the booth at restaurants.

129
00:04:40,764 --> 00:04:42,413
It's just easier to share food that way.

130
00:04:42,438 --> 00:04:44,391
I'll give you guys $550 each if you guys

131
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,014
have sex with each other right now.

132
00:04:46,039 --> 00:04:48,263
I'd rather let an entire Greyhound bus

133
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,164
spit in my mouth
than have sex with Benji.

134
00:04:50,192 --> 00:04:51,239
No offense.

135
00:04:51,264 --> 00:04:52,544
Okay, well, then, you know what?

136
00:04:52,569 --> 00:04:54,169
Maybe you need to get a real girlfriend,

137
00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:55,920
instead of whatever Esther is, okay?

138
00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:58,019
You guys have sad eyes.

139
00:04:58,139 --> 00:04:59,723
- Is that a good thing?
- No.

140
00:04:59,831 --> 00:05:01,290
Sad eyes is a bad thing.

141
00:05:01,497 --> 00:05:02,856
You said he wasn't here.

142
00:05:02,881 --> 00:05:04,381
Look, I'm having a pool party later,

143
00:05:04,406 --> 00:05:06,532
so, why don't you guys... you can come.

144
00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:08,592
Uh, it might be fun, you know?

145
00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:09,810
Alia's gonna be there.

146
00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:11,544
Your sister's gonna be here?

147
00:05:11,714 --> 00:05:13,006
We gotta go to the party.

148
00:05:13,048 --> 00:05:14,688
You guys look like
you could use some sun.

149
00:05:14,712 --> 00:05:16,374
I mean, you look like a sick glow worm.

150
00:05:17,962 --> 00:05:19,129
Your racing fuel is here!

151
00:05:19,154 --> 00:05:21,042
Oh, yes! Yes!

152
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,893
I been rollin' around on 91 octane

153
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,405
like a frickin' normy!

154
00:05:25,463 --> 00:05:26,798
Anyway.

155
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,864
Benji, Benji, Benji, Benji.

156
00:05:28,889 --> 00:05:30,449
If I get a job working for your sister,

157
00:05:30,473 --> 00:05:32,518
it will change my life, okay?

158
00:05:32,556 --> 00:05:33,742
Her and all her employees,

159
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,199
they know all the hot girl secrets.

160
00:05:35,224 --> 00:05:36,624
Esther, you eat bread bowls.

161
00:05:36,649 --> 00:05:38,079
You're not gonna, like,
blend in with them.

162
00:05:38,106 --> 00:05:40,611
Dude, her fashion company is everything.

163
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,506
I heard about a girl uglier than me...

164
00:05:42,531 --> 00:05:44,128
What? Listen to me.

165
00:05:44,153 --> 00:05:45,904
I heard about a girl uglier than me

166
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,223
who got a job working for her.

167
00:05:47,248 --> 00:05:50,625
Now she's hot, with
300,000 Instagram followers.

168
00:05:50,669 --> 00:05:52,629
Esther, they don't even
have clothes that fit you.

169
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,770
How are you gonna work there?

170
00:05:53,794 --> 00:05:55,663
I'm just gonna mention
that I have a charged laptop,

171
00:05:55,687 --> 00:05:57,044
and I'm gonna use my fake personality

172
00:05:57,071 --> 00:05:58,417
I learned at improv class.

173
00:05:58,442 --> 00:05:59,562
Do you know what I'm saying?

174
00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:00,996
It's like, I love fashion,

175
00:06:01,021 --> 00:06:02,298
and, like, I love clothes,

176
00:06:02,323 --> 00:06:04,043
and, like, I love your top.

177
00:06:04,068 --> 00:06:05,443
I'm screaming.

178
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:06,510
Terrifying.

179
00:06:06,535 --> 00:06:07,661
Mm-hmm.

180
00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:18,541
Okay, I'm ready to go.

181
00:06:20,188 --> 00:06:22,443
Esther, you can't
wear that to a pool party.

182
00:06:22,468 --> 00:06:24,384
This is the most stylish thing I own.

183
00:06:24,409 --> 00:06:26,137
You look like a Syrian refugee.

184
00:06:26,162 --> 00:06:27,574
I'm not taking fashion tips

185
00:06:27,599 --> 00:06:28,879
from a guy in basketball shorts.

186
00:06:28,904 --> 00:06:30,018
You don't know anything.

187
00:06:30,043 --> 00:06:31,863
I get that I'm not a fashion person,

188
00:06:31,888 --> 00:06:33,879
but I know my sister really well,

189
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:36,425
and she's gonna think
you're trying too hard.

190
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,707
Is that better?

191
00:06:39,992 --> 00:06:41,731
Do you have an actual bathing suit?

192
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:44,208
I do, but I got it at the
Comedy Store lost and found,

193
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:45,569
so it doesn't fit right.

194
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:48,023
- Oh.
- Which pose? This...?

195
00:06:48,767 --> 00:06:50,142
We are the ugliest people here.

196
00:06:50,231 --> 00:06:51,523
Yeah, that's true.

197
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:54,871
which means it's not vintage.

198
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:57,107
Something smells like cheese and onions.

199
00:06:57,575 --> 00:06:58,575
Baby bro.

200
00:06:58,599 --> 00:06:59,681
Hi, Sarah.

201
00:06:59,706 --> 00:07:00,885
'Sup, sis?

202
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,817
Hey.

203
00:07:02,866 --> 00:07:04,867
Oh, my God, I love your bikini pattern.

204
00:07:04,893 --> 00:07:06,994
It's like everything is so OG.

205
00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:08,159
Mm, thank you.

206
00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:10,394
Yeah, no, thank you.
Thanks for having us.

207
00:07:10,419 --> 00:07:12,212
Um, by the way, my name's Esther.

208
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,695
You should hire her.

209
00:07:14,841 --> 00:07:18,504
She has, um, small hands, and
she can fix sewing machines.

210
00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:21,124
I was like almost a model
for American Girl doll catalog,

211
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,263
but I had a mustard stain on my cuticle.

212
00:07:23,291 --> 00:07:26,209
Your adorable. I love your... hair.

213
00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:29,191
Oh, my God, thanks. I don't
wash it because of the drought.

214
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,718
Esther's way of being cute
is, like, not trying.

215
00:07:31,853 --> 00:07:33,065
She's lazy chic.

216
00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,891
I am actually not lazy at all.

217
00:07:34,916 --> 00:07:37,667
Um, do lazy people
put fruit in their water?

218
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,794
They don't. I'm screaming.

219
00:07:39,903 --> 00:07:41,737
Please hire her. She'll work hard,

220
00:07:41,764 --> 00:07:43,309
and, like, you don't
even have to pay her much.

221
00:07:43,336 --> 00:07:46,178
You're, like, so thirsty.
I'm sorry, he's so thirsty.

222
00:07:46,205 --> 00:07:48,298
Like, I just drink
a cup of water, I'm good.

223
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,764
Yeah.

224
00:07:51,789 --> 00:07:53,749
Esther has a permanent
fat wrinkle on her stomach,

225
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,651
and we call it her equator.

226
00:07:56,004 --> 00:07:58,433
Oh, my God, that's so embarrassing.

227
00:07:58,549 --> 00:07:59,848
I'm gonna go get a refill.

228
00:07:59,886 --> 00:08:01,194
He's good. Everyone's good.

229
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:02,344
Good, good.

230
00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:03,805
Dude, what are you doing?

231
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:04,990
Why are you making fun of me?

232
00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:06,682
Bye. You look good today.

233
00:08:06,747 --> 00:08:08,206
You don't get it.

234
00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:09,590
I was trying to be funny.

235
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,903
Watching you talk to hot girls

236
00:08:10,928 --> 00:08:12,178
is like watching a white person

237
00:08:12,203 --> 00:08:13,851
try to explain why all lives matter.

238
00:08:13,878 --> 00:08:14,836
All you do is pick on me.

239
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:16,141
They bicker like an old couple.

240
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:17,655
I know.

241
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,146
They should just, you know,

242
00:08:19,171 --> 00:08:20,417
they should just date.

243
00:08:20,524 --> 00:08:22,233
I know. Millennials, they don't date.

244
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,814
They don't even sex.
They just flow through life,

245
00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,159
too distracted by how lonely
they really are.

246
00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:29,035
- You're a talking penis!
- You're a talking penis!

247
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:31,459
- You're a talking penis!
- You're a talking penis!

248
00:08:31,484 --> 00:08:32,985
You're a talking penis.

249
00:08:33,010 --> 00:08:34,822
Everybody here thinks
you're a talking penis.

250
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,515
All right, I need to get
you away from me, okay?

251
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:37,939
I need alone time with your sister.

252
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:39,329
I'm gonna find you a girl to talk to,

253
00:08:39,356 --> 00:08:40,524
got it?

254
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:44,286
All right, she's in long pants,

255
00:08:44,311 --> 00:08:45,936
so just give it a try.

256
00:08:46,085 --> 00:08:48,170
Miss Chanel is the way to go.

257
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,025
Hey. Sorry to interrupt you.
Super rude, I get it.

258
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:53,134
This is Benji. This is his house.

259
00:08:53,506 --> 00:08:56,800
Wow. That... is so cool.

260
00:08:56,825 --> 00:08:58,625
I'm Charlotte, so...

261
00:08:58,650 --> 00:09:00,775
Wait. That's such a cool Céline bag.

262
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,114
Oh, thanks! This is a work gift.

263
00:09:04,308 --> 00:09:06,089
Are you serious? What do you do?

264
00:09:06,482 --> 00:09:07,804
I'm a nanny.

265
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:08,937
Whoa, lucky.

266
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:10,112
I was a nanny, and all I got

267
00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:11,805
was a little boy's old shoes.

268
00:09:13,257 --> 00:09:15,592
So, you live here alone, Benji?

269
00:09:15,617 --> 00:09:17,154
Yeah, yeah. I mean, kind of.

270
00:09:17,179 --> 00:09:19,389
I-I let my poor friends crash here.

271
00:09:19,527 --> 00:09:21,611
That's really kind of you.

272
00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,044
That's my thing, kind.

273
00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:25,355
Everyone's always like,
"You're so kind."

274
00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:28,633
- Take her on a tour, stupid!
- Yeah, stupid!

275
00:09:28,658 --> 00:09:30,560
I love the way you called me stupid!

276
00:09:31,427 --> 00:09:32,600
Oh, okay.

277
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:33,792
See ya.

278
00:09:34,036 --> 00:09:35,839
I'm the best wing man.

279
00:09:35,896 --> 00:09:37,730
Yes, thank you.

280
00:09:37,755 --> 00:09:39,145
No offense, Alia,

281
00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:40,658
but I can't eat any of this food.

282
00:09:41,158 --> 00:09:42,224
Yeah, it's so unhealthy.

283
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,167
I know. I wanted to get,
like, fun party food.

284
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,811
I didn't realize it was gonna be
something none of us would eat.

285
00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:50,289
That's Allen Iverson.

286
00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:51,606
He's small and mighty, like me.

287
00:09:51,696 --> 00:09:53,113
- Good show.
- This...

288
00:09:53,161 --> 00:09:54,934
is my Nolan Ryan rookie card.

289
00:09:55,058 --> 00:09:56,933
It's probably the most
expensive thing I own.

290
00:09:56,975 --> 00:09:59,070
He was a Met. A lot of
people don't know that.

291
00:09:59,095 --> 00:10:00,104
Do you like baseball?

292
00:10:00,129 --> 00:10:02,630
Mmm... I like Laker floor seats.

293
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,391
Okay. That's something else.

294
00:10:04,416 --> 00:10:06,775
Wait, who are those ladies
that I saw you hanging with

295
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:07,919
before we met?

296
00:10:07,944 --> 00:10:09,950
Oh, that's just my sister
and her employees.

297
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:12,331
She runs this fashion company
called Vindication.

298
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:13,978
What?

299
00:10:14,003 --> 00:10:15,914
Wait, your sister is Vindication?

300
00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:17,357
Yeah, she started it, she runs it.

301
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:18,853
She makes the clothes. It's all her.

302
00:10:18,877 --> 00:10:20,987
It's just like my favorite brand ever.

303
00:10:21,012 --> 00:10:22,566
I wear them, like, every single day.

304
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:24,711
She made me business cards
that say I'm vice president

305
00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:26,335
to help me meet girls...
do you want one?

306
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:30,764
- Mmm... hi.
- Hey.

307
00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:33,474
I'm Benji, vice president
of Vindication.

308
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,526
Third quarter projections
are looking healthy.

309
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:38,228
You know I'm not really, like,

310
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:39,330
the vice president of Vindication.

311
00:10:39,355 --> 00:10:41,540
- She just made me business cards.
- I don't care.

312
00:10:50,243 --> 00:10:51,636
You're so cool.

313
00:10:51,661 --> 00:10:53,263
Okay. Cool.

314
00:10:54,339 --> 00:10:57,157
Vivian, come on, your perfume
is getting in my mouth.

315
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,752
I want to smell you, not taste you.

316
00:10:58,777 --> 00:11:00,739
Hey, do you guys like spirulina crisps?

317
00:11:00,764 --> 00:11:02,796
I feel like the food here
is just not edible.

318
00:11:03,043 --> 00:11:05,203
Um, Edna for the win!

319
00:11:05,269 --> 00:11:06,800
Yeah, I, like... I'm obsessed.

320
00:11:06,825 --> 00:11:08,305
I can't leave my house without these.

321
00:11:08,329 --> 00:11:09,659
I eat them all the time.

322
00:11:09,684 --> 00:11:11,393
- Mmm.
- Also, my name is Esther.

323
00:11:11,673 --> 00:11:12,985
So, I heard you're hiring,

324
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,182
which is crazy 'cause like,

325
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,297
I'm pretty free.

326
00:11:15,322 --> 00:11:17,479
Hey, Al, meet my friend Charlotte.

327
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:21,278
It's so cool to meet you.
I just love your top.

328
00:11:21,611 --> 00:11:22,863
Thank you. I've actually been dying

329
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:23,971
to talk bikinis with someone.

330
00:11:23,995 --> 00:11:25,254
Yours... come on, it's just...

331
00:11:25,279 --> 00:11:27,014
- What's going on?
- Wait, what do you do?

332
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:29,158
I'm nannying right now, but I'm actually

333
00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:30,706
just dying to get into fashion.

334
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:31,811
Oh, my God, you're perfect.

335
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:32,959
You should come in and talk to me.

336
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,580
I've been looking for
someone just like you.

337
00:11:34,607 --> 00:11:36,565
It's actually really good
to have experience

338
00:11:36,589 --> 00:11:38,777
cleaning up vomit when
you're dealing with models.

339
00:11:38,802 --> 00:11:40,552
Awesome! Yeah, I would love that.

340
00:11:40,594 --> 00:11:41,594
Should I come in too?

341
00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:44,611
What just happened?

342
00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:45,716
I think I just got my first

343
00:11:45,741 --> 00:11:47,013
non-summer camp girlfriend.

344
00:11:47,038 --> 00:11:48,670
Do you think she was talking to me?

345
00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:50,854
I don't think anyone was talking to you.

346
00:12:01,432 --> 00:12:02,766
Oh, hey.

347
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,055
Why are you wearing your prom shirt?

348
00:12:07,142 --> 00:12:08,770
Charlotte and I are going to Mastro's.

349
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:11,511
- Are you serious?
- Yeah!

350
00:12:11,609 --> 00:12:14,807
Ooh, you're so happy. It's so annoying.

351
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:15,868
What's the problem?

352
00:12:15,893 --> 00:12:17,421
I want to go to Mastro's someday.

353
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:19,183
I want to try filet medallions.

354
00:12:19,263 --> 00:12:20,949
So save up money, go to Mastro's.

355
00:12:21,017 --> 00:12:24,306
Charlotte. First my
dream job, then my dream entree.

356
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:26,509
- Are you still mad about that job?
- Yeah.

357
00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,094
Why don't you just
try to find something

358
00:12:28,125 --> 00:12:29,959
more in your wheelhouse?

359
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,595
Have you thought about, like,
being a notary or something?

360
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:33,953
- What's up, guys?
- Hey, Jeff.

361
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:34,930
- What's up, bro?
- What's up, men?

362
00:12:34,957 --> 00:12:35,907
How you doing? Good to see you.

363
00:12:36,379 --> 00:12:38,379
Oh, wow, we're hugging.
You know I don't like hugs.

364
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:40,118
- I know, that's why I do it to you.
- You need affection.

365
00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:42,227
My parents didn't give me hugs.
It's weird for me.

366
00:12:42,254 --> 00:12:44,283
- Adjust.
- Okay.

367
00:12:44,308 --> 00:12:46,367
Let me ask you a question...
you goin' to a funeral?

368
00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:48,102
What's up with that shirt?

369
00:12:48,271 --> 00:12:50,011
You sitting shiva?

370
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,666
- All right.
- I taught him Jewish stuff.

371
00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,616
Make fun of the guy
trying to find true love.

372
00:12:53,641 --> 00:12:55,777
Thanks, guys. See you later. Thanks.

373
00:12:55,811 --> 00:12:57,224
Benji's going on a date with a girl

374
00:12:57,249 --> 00:12:59,098
who only likes him 'cause
he lives in a nice house.

375
00:12:59,132 --> 00:13:00,247
Oh, I only like Benji

376
00:13:00,272 --> 00:13:02,327
- 'cause he lives in a nice house.
- I know. Same.

377
00:13:02,352 --> 00:13:05,093
I don't know. Something doesn't
add up about that girl.

378
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,028
Why? That Miss Chanel she nannies for

379
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,320
must be crazy rich if they
gave her a Céline purse.

380
00:13:09,427 --> 00:13:11,167
I nannied for a rich family
for two years,

381
00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:13,044
and my bag is still a reusable tote.

382
00:13:13,765 --> 00:13:15,823
Um, Miss Chanel's not a person,

383
00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:18,091
it's an escort website.

384
00:13:18,809 --> 00:13:22,023
- Shut up. Are you serious?
- Oh, absolutely.

385
00:13:22,116 --> 00:13:25,089
So, that's... that's an escort
he's about to get dinner with?

386
00:13:25,114 --> 00:13:26,674
He's gonna go on a date with an escort.

387
00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:28,295
I need to tell him, like, immediately.

388
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,340
Aw, don't ruin it for him.

389
00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:31,129
He's gonna have some
really good escort sex.

390
00:13:31,154 --> 00:13:33,960
Jeff, don't be disgusting, okay?
That's so criminal.

391
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,819
I don't like to criminalize sex workers.

392
00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:37,914
How do I prove it to him?
He'll never believe me.

393
00:13:37,939 --> 00:13:39,099
He thinks I'm jealous of him.

394
00:13:39,123 --> 00:13:41,715
You can't see the ladies'
profiles on the website

395
00:13:41,740 --> 00:13:43,184
unless you're a subscriber.

396
00:13:43,209 --> 00:13:45,169
I don't even have a working
credit card right now.

397
00:13:45,194 --> 00:13:46,905
- I don't know how I'd sign up.
- I know what you can do.

398
00:13:46,932 --> 00:13:48,746
Make yourself a profile. Okay.

399
00:13:48,773 --> 00:13:51,133
You'll be like an escort and you
can see the women that way.

400
00:13:51,158 --> 00:13:52,444
Right, that's safe.

401
00:13:52,558 --> 00:13:54,058
Yeah. Absolutely.

402
00:13:54,098 --> 00:13:55,765
Yeah. No one's gonna hit me up.

403
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,553
I mean, I would.

404
00:13:57,748 --> 00:14:00,055
I like fat guys. This is going nowhere.

405
00:14:00,193 --> 00:14:02,463
- You're a real hero.
- I know.

406
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,020
- Good morning.
- Good morning! Hey there!

407
00:14:05,162 --> 00:14:06,822
I have to talk to you about something.

408
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,483
Charlotte's not a nanny.

409
00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:10,133
What are you talking about?

410
00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:11,884
She's an escort.

411
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:15,031
Miss Chanel isn't a person.

412
00:14:15,086 --> 00:14:17,176
It's an escort website.

413
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:19,795
I mean... that could be anybody.

414
00:14:19,835 --> 00:14:20,835
The face is blurred out.

415
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,041
Benji, same hair, same height,

416
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:25,047
same exact silver handbag.

417
00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:28,030
Oh, no. Same Ohio State tattoo.

418
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:32,194
_

419
00:14:33,658 --> 00:14:35,202
She's three out of five stars.

420
00:14:35,229 --> 00:14:38,204
That's crazy. Like, she
seemed five-star to me.

421
00:14:38,229 --> 00:14:39,545
I don't have any basis of comparison,

422
00:14:39,572 --> 00:14:40,938
but... Who are you texting?

423
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,144
Take a minute to process
what's going on.

424
00:14:44,287 --> 00:14:45,374
This is the worst.

425
00:14:45,402 --> 00:14:47,250
I know, it is really rough,

426
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,609
but you have to end it.

427
00:14:48,634 --> 00:14:49,964
I can't just end it.

428
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,370
She smells like tangerines.

429
00:14:51,395 --> 00:14:53,987
It's apricot, and this is serious, okay?

430
00:14:54,012 --> 00:14:56,335
You're not the kind of guy that
can roll with shady people.

431
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,448
What if a pimp shows up
here and demands money?

432
00:14:58,473 --> 00:14:59,639
You won't know what to do.

433
00:14:59,664 --> 00:15:02,160
- That's crazy.
- Is it? Is it crazy?

434
00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:03,505
Do you even know what a shank is?

435
00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:04,880
It's street talk for "knife."

436
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,644
You know what... now that I
know she has a dark side,

437
00:15:06,668 --> 00:15:07,908
I'm kind of into her even more.

438
00:15:07,933 --> 00:15:09,056
It's like dating Catwoman.

439
00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:10,881
If she's here, she'll
use the laundry machine,

440
00:15:10,906 --> 00:15:11,897
our underwear will touch,

441
00:15:11,924 --> 00:15:13,151
and I'll get HPV.

442
00:15:13,176 --> 00:15:14,176
Everyone has HPV.

443
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,428
I don't have HPV,

444
00:15:15,453 --> 00:15:16,733
and I'm the last one without it.

445
00:15:16,758 --> 00:15:18,852
It's a selling point,
and you know I don't have many of those.

446
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,618
I never get to make out with anybody.

447
00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:21,897
I haven't done under-the-pants stuff

448
00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:23,793
with a girl since my ska band broke up.

449
00:15:23,818 --> 00:15:26,546
This is sad. I thought this would
be fun, but it's just sad.

450
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,272
Yeah, that's fine.

451
00:15:30,557 --> 00:15:33,071
Oh. Oh, wait a minute, there's more.

452
00:15:33,707 --> 00:15:35,340
Oh, that looks delicious.

453
00:15:35,386 --> 00:15:36,620
Thank you.

454
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:37,645
Is this too much food?

455
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,212
I feel like I over-ordered.

456
00:15:39,250 --> 00:15:41,685
No, no, no, no.
You... are a growing girl.

457
00:15:41,746 --> 00:15:43,381
- You need to eat.
- Thanks.

458
00:15:43,406 --> 00:15:45,271
I've just been stressed lately

459
00:15:45,296 --> 00:15:46,814
'cause I have this friend
and he won't listen to me,

460
00:15:46,838 --> 00:15:48,211
and I feel like it's getting in the way

461
00:15:48,236 --> 00:15:49,667
of me getting a real job.

462
00:15:49,702 --> 00:15:51,728
Well, I mean, you're a standup.
That's a real job.

463
00:15:51,753 --> 00:15:53,423
Not to my dad.

464
00:15:53,637 --> 00:15:55,362
He says I'm failing 'cause by my age,

465
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,675
Amy Winehouse was already
famous and dead.

466
00:15:57,730 --> 00:15:58,754
That's nonsense.

467
00:15:58,779 --> 00:16:00,501
Amy Winehouse was not an artist.

468
00:16:00,546 --> 00:16:03,256
- Really?
- Oh, no. Ooh, God.

469
00:16:03,281 --> 00:16:05,615
Yeah, all my jokes are really
personal and about me.

470
00:16:05,652 --> 00:16:07,069
Can I hear one?

471
00:16:07,097 --> 00:16:09,086
Sure. The name Esther isn't, like,

472
00:16:09,111 --> 00:16:11,145
really for a hot girl,

473
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,835
so I feel like I'm "Esther pretty."

474
00:16:13,902 --> 00:16:16,223
That's, like, as pretty as you
can be with the name Esther.

475
00:16:20,519 --> 00:16:22,508
Okay, no eating during joke time.

476
00:16:24,077 --> 00:16:25,441
Do you really think it's that funny?

477
00:16:25,468 --> 00:16:26,667
My God, that's brilliant.

478
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,617
It's so cool to talk to you
'cause I just, I don't know...

479
00:16:29,898 --> 00:16:31,274
sometimes I think I'm a loser

480
00:16:31,299 --> 00:16:33,360
'cause I only own one towel.

481
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,524
Well, I could take you shopping

482
00:16:37,549 --> 00:16:39,171
after this, unless
you think it's weird.

483
00:16:39,196 --> 00:16:40,342
Are you kidding me?

484
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,808
If I was home in Illinois right now,

485
00:16:41,832 --> 00:16:44,190
that's exactly what I
would be doing with my dad,

486
00:16:44,217 --> 00:16:45,852
so of course that's not weird.

487
00:16:45,877 --> 00:16:47,419
Good. In that case,

488
00:16:47,444 --> 00:16:48,870
I want you to have some of this soup.

489
00:16:48,897 --> 00:16:50,476
- Yes, please.
- Mmm. Mmm-hmm.

490
00:16:51,697 --> 00:16:53,365
I'm glad the job's working out.

491
00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:55,099
Yeah, I love it.

492
00:16:55,124 --> 00:16:56,597
I've been getting tons of free clothes,

493
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,071
but I always get free clothing.

494
00:16:58,141 --> 00:16:59,750
Yeah, I have older siblings too.

495
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:00,982
Oh, your lift is here.

496
00:17:01,343 --> 00:17:02,502
Wait.

497
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:03,979
- What?
- Thank you so much.

498
00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:05,393
- Okay, you got everything?
- Yeah.

499
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,090
Okay, thanks for a great
evening, Esther.

500
00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:08,615
- Listen, I'll PayPal you.
- Got it.

501
00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,220
Melting gelato. Gotta run.

502
00:17:10,245 --> 00:17:11,386
Who was that?

503
00:17:11,411 --> 00:17:13,246
Oh, my God, I totally know that guy.

504
00:17:13,522 --> 00:17:15,082
He used to go out with my old coworker.

505
00:17:15,106 --> 00:17:17,587
He bought her a Vespa,
which is pretty cool.

506
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:19,653
Like, a nanny coworker?

507
00:17:19,742 --> 00:17:21,368
Yeah.

508
00:17:24,857 --> 00:17:28,015
Melting gelato? When do you
not finish your dessert?

509
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,166
- You're such a hypocrite.
- What are you talking about?

510
00:17:30,191 --> 00:17:32,276
You acted all worried about
me for dating Charlotte,

511
00:17:32,303 --> 00:17:34,247
but what's more dangerous
than being an actual escort?

512
00:17:34,274 --> 00:17:36,440
- What do you mean?
- Charlotte recognized that guy.

513
00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:37,745
She's worked with him before.

514
00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:40,440
All we did was eat mac and cheese,
and he got me a shower caddy.

515
00:17:40,486 --> 00:17:42,620
- That's it.
- You should be ashamed of yourself.

516
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,429
You're ruining your family name
for free bathroom essentials.

517
00:17:45,454 --> 00:17:46,658
Don't judge me, okay?

518
00:17:46,683 --> 00:17:48,429
I only got into this to protect you.

519
00:17:48,464 --> 00:17:50,708
Protect me? You could literally
get your head cut off!

520
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:53,194
Oh, come on. Warren's not
cutting anyone's head off,

521
00:17:53,219 --> 00:17:55,436
not with his rheumatoid arthritis, okay?

522
00:17:55,461 --> 00:17:57,147
Esther, I'm scared for you.

523
00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:59,086
You weigh, like, 99 pounds.

524
00:17:59,111 --> 00:18:01,274
- You think?
- Don't be cute.

525
00:18:01,358 --> 00:18:04,567
When guys give girls
money to hang out with them,

526
00:18:04,592 --> 00:18:06,428
they're going to feel
entitled to things.

527
00:18:06,491 --> 00:18:08,021
There's no sex involved.

528
00:18:08,111 --> 00:18:10,262
I've seen you eat mac and cheese.
It's very sexual.

529
00:18:10,287 --> 00:18:12,081
That may be true, but you know what?

530
00:18:12,106 --> 00:18:14,109
I have everything
I need from this, okay?

531
00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:15,634
Money to pay down my student loans,

532
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:18,620
and emotional support from
a baby boomer. Let me be.

533
00:18:18,686 --> 00:18:20,642
What happened to the Esther
I used to know?

534
00:18:20,689 --> 00:18:24,025
Hannah Montana Esther is
dead. Welcome to Miley.

535
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:26,257
You should just go. I'm done with you.

536
00:18:26,284 --> 00:18:27,750
Just don't tell my sister anything.

537
00:18:27,853 --> 00:18:29,501
I told your sister about Charlotte.

538
00:18:29,536 --> 00:18:31,921
She's probably fired her by now. Peace.

539
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,856
That's okay. Me and Charlotte
have a strong love.

540
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:36,831
Doesn't matter if she loses that job.

541
00:18:36,971 --> 00:18:38,222
Yeah.

542
00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:44,294
Your sister fired me.

543
00:18:44,319 --> 00:18:46,361
Damn it! I hate her.

544
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:47,840
My sister. I hate my sister.

545
00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:50,826
I don't know. I'm so upset.
Will you just console me?

546
00:18:50,866 --> 00:18:52,426
Come lay with me, tell me all about it.

547
00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:54,898
I don't want to, like, sit and
watch cartoons with you, okay?

548
00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:56,674
"Console me" means, like,
buy me a present.

549
00:18:56,699 --> 00:18:58,323
Ohh. Okay.

550
00:18:58,348 --> 00:18:59,724
Here's the thing with presents.

551
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,640
You look like someone
who deserves presents.

552
00:19:02,665 --> 00:19:04,675
- I want to give you presents.
- Thank you.

553
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,133
The thing is, is that

554
00:19:06,158 --> 00:19:08,118
I'm not gonna see my parents
for a couple of days,

555
00:19:08,143 --> 00:19:10,246
and that's when I get my
fresh round of gift cards.

556
00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:12,517
Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go.

557
00:19:12,557 --> 00:19:13,814
Don't go, don't go,
come on, please don't go.

558
00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:15,557
- Come on. Um...
- What?

559
00:19:15,690 --> 00:19:17,788
There's a ton of leftover
booze from the party.

560
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:19,333
We can make mixed drinks or something.

561
00:19:19,357 --> 00:19:20,531
That sounds fun, right?

562
00:19:21,831 --> 00:19:23,554
- Okay.
- Yeah?

563
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,085
I'll have a vodka cranberry

564
00:19:25,110 --> 00:19:27,066
and you have a vodka vodka.

565
00:19:27,137 --> 00:19:29,514
Vodka vodka vodka.

566
00:19:29,648 --> 00:19:31,315
It's a Fozzie Bear joke.

567
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,113
I don't...

568
00:19:34,184 --> 00:19:35,268
I'll make our drinks.

569
00:19:35,293 --> 00:19:36,460
Okay.

570
00:19:36,664 --> 00:19:38,183
Living in L. A. Is so intimidating.

571
00:19:38,208 --> 00:19:39,750
All the girls are so pretty.

572
00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:42,319
I have to drive to Van Nuys
just to take a spin class.

573
00:19:42,538 --> 00:19:44,392
Come on, Esther, I will not let you

574
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,251
talk about yourself like that.

575
00:19:46,382 --> 00:19:48,842
You are a young, beautiful girl.

576
00:19:48,996 --> 00:19:51,603
And my cheekbones... you can see them?

577
00:19:51,661 --> 00:19:54,746
Are you kidding? Ray Charles
can see those cheekbones.

578
00:19:55,253 --> 00:19:58,339
I don't know who that is,
but he sounds so nice.

579
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,156
Honestly, Warren, you've
been so supportive of me.

580
00:20:01,181 --> 00:20:04,183
I just don't want you
to ever doubt yourself.

581
00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,139
I guess.

582
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:07,750
Pinky swear.

583
00:20:08,973 --> 00:20:10,144
Okay.

584
00:20:12,229 --> 00:20:13,773
What are you doing?

585
00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:16,550
- Eww! Aah!
- Wha wha wha wha...!

586
00:20:17,025 --> 00:20:19,694
Ugh! I thought we were
feeling the sa...

587
00:20:21,274 --> 00:20:23,390
Where the hell did I park my car?

588
00:20:24,248 --> 00:20:26,208
Wake up. Benji, wake up.

589
00:20:26,521 --> 00:20:28,047
Hey, I've been day-drinking.

590
00:20:28,072 --> 00:20:30,073
I'm really, really
creeped out right now.

591
00:20:30,159 --> 00:20:31,607
The old guy I met online who paid me

592
00:20:31,632 --> 00:20:32,959
to eat macaroni wearing sweatpants

593
00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:34,550
turned out to be a total creep.

594
00:20:34,587 --> 00:20:35,962
Really?

595
00:20:37,750 --> 00:20:39,030
I can't believe I'm saying this,

596
00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:40,414
but I should have listened to you.

597
00:20:40,439 --> 00:20:42,199
Well, firstly, you've
got to stop dating guys

598
00:20:42,224 --> 00:20:43,874
who have 12-year-old girl fetishes.

599
00:20:44,019 --> 00:20:47,313
- It's really hard.
- Look, man, you just gotta accept it...

600
00:20:47,348 --> 00:20:48,705
you're not a fashionista,

601
00:20:48,732 --> 00:20:50,733
you're not an escort, you're an Esther.

602
00:20:51,448 --> 00:20:53,208
Wait, where's Charlotte?
We're supposed to go

603
00:20:53,233 --> 00:20:55,048
to the farmer's market
like tall couples do.

604
00:20:55,073 --> 00:20:56,615
- Charlotte!
- She's not here.

605
00:20:56,639 --> 00:20:58,725
The house was empty when I got here.

606
00:20:59,538 --> 00:21:00,913
Oh, my God!

607
00:21:00,938 --> 00:21:02,337
My baseball card is missing!

608
00:21:02,419 --> 00:21:04,052
Did Charlotte rob you?

609
00:21:04,083 --> 00:21:05,334
You're victim shaming me.

610
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,946
Benji, relax, okay?

611
00:21:06,971 --> 00:21:09,668
Look, one day your trust
fund's gonna kick in,

612
00:21:09,778 --> 00:21:12,738
and you'll meet someone
who likes you for you.

613
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,030
Thanks?

614
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,705
Let's just promise
that we're not gonna do

615
00:21:15,736 --> 00:21:18,625
any more escort stuff
and move on with our lives.

616
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,245
You're right.
We're done with escorting.

617
00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:22,382
- Okay, fine. Right.
- We're done, right?

618
00:21:22,409 --> 00:21:23,941
_

619
00:21:23,968 --> 00:21:25,248
Are you sure this is a good
way to get over Charlotte?

620
00:21:25,272 --> 00:21:27,040
You're gonna find love with an escort

621
00:21:27,065 --> 00:21:28,438
come hell or high water.

622
00:21:28,463 --> 00:21:30,421
I'm kinda nervous.
I got the cheapest one.

623
00:21:30,446 --> 00:21:31,823
I hope she's pretty.

624
00:21:33,657 --> 00:21:36,060
Hi, I'm Alicia Silverstein.

625
00:21:36,227 --> 00:21:38,354
I'm here to meet Nolan.

626
00:21:41,027 --> 00:21:43,821
Ugh.

627
00:21:44,619 --> 00:21:46,590
The two of you were meant
to be together,

628
00:21:46,615 --> 00:21:47,880
like O. J. And jail.

629
00:21:47,908 --> 00:21:50,786
The universe is gonna get what it wants.

630
00:21:52,171 --> 00:21:54,422
I like your sex worker outfit.

631
00:21:54,748 --> 00:21:56,125
Thank you.

632
00:21:56,243 --> 00:21:58,286
I like your Eddie Munster costume.

633
00:21:58,353 --> 00:21:59,603
Did you rob an 11-year-old?

634
00:21:59,628 --> 00:22:01,629
Is that where you got this outfit from?

635
00:22:01,826 --> 00:22:03,654
You rob a slutty 11-year-old?

636
00:22:03,715 --> 00:22:05,925
This is what I've always
wanted to look like.

637
00:22:05,999 --> 00:22:07,630
- Is it really?
- Yeah.

638
00:22:07,655 --> 00:22:10,325
You look like the Jewish
version of Annie, the musical.

639
00:22:10,369 --> 00:22:12,120
That's actually way... that's crazy,

640
00:22:12,145 --> 00:22:14,527
'cause that is literally
what you look like.

641
00:22:16,530 --> 00:22:18,325
That is so insane,

642
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:20,059
'cause that is you.

643
00:22:20,092 --> 00:22:21,652
- Can we go? For real, can we go?
- No.

644
00:22:21,676 --> 00:22:24,036
These nachos aren't gonna travel.
This is $30 worth of food.

645
00:22:24,061 --> 00:22:25,352
I'm not letting it go to waste.

646
00:22:25,377 --> 00:22:26,525
I'm from the Midwest.

647
00:22:26,568 --> 00:22:27,818
We don't waste food.

648
00:22:27,906 --> 00:22:30,036
Well, if we're gonna be here forever,

649
00:22:30,061 --> 00:22:31,803
I found this shady European website,

650
00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,169
and you can stream episodes
of Daria for free.

651
00:22:34,451 --> 00:22:36,130
Sure, I'm down.

652
00:22:37,668 --> 00:22:39,669
Are we gonna die alone?

653
00:22:39,709 --> 00:22:41,624
You know, I've put a lot of
thought into that, and yeah.

654
00:22:41,651 --> 00:22:43,358
Right. Well, you know what?

655
00:22:43,383 --> 00:22:44,633
Small talk with dying people

656
00:22:44,658 --> 00:22:46,459
is super uncomfortable anyways.

657
00:22:46,484 --> 00:22:48,612
I know. When my nana was dying,

658
00:22:48,637 --> 00:22:51,055
out of habit, I was like, "How's life?"

659
00:22:51,283 --> 00:22:53,554
She, like, died, like, an hour later.

660
00:22:53,736 --> 00:22:55,028
Life was sixty minutes.

661
00:22:55,055 --> 00:22:56,843
CREDITS