1
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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

2
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Whoa

3
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_

4
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? Another Springfield day ?
_

5
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? A truly perfect place to see ?
? your dreams just fade away ?

6
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? Working at the plant's fried ?
? everything inside my pants ?

7
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? Good-bye to all romance ?

8
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? All I've got to show ?
? for 20 years or so is you ?

9
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- Carl!
- Prescription pain pills!

10
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? I have a law degree ?

11
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? For years I've smelled ?
? just like cat pee ?

12
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? This town just drags you down ?

13
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? She's completely lost her head ?

14
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? And we will eat her when she's dead ?

15
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? It really shouldn't be too long ?

16
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- ? Cats! Cats! Cats! ?
- ? She'll be our dinner ?

17
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? This truly is an awful town ?

18
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? The water's green, the sky is brown ?

19
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? Pope Francis came, he turned around ?

20
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? Our strongest bridge ?
? just holds ten pounds ?

21
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? We're poisoned by a greedy clown ?

22
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? Kang-a-roo meat! ?

23
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? Traffic suffers from paralysis ?

24
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Please. I'm late for my dialysis.

25
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? It's another Springfield day ?

26
00:01:13,796 --> 00:01:15,663
? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

27
00:01:15,698 --> 00:01:17,499
? I'm too sad to say olé ?

28
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? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?

29
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? We've lost our coolest gays ?

30
00:01:21,013 --> 00:01:22,981
? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ?

31
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Duffman thinks this town's okay!

32
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? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?
_

33
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? It's another Springfield day! ?

34
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Lenny's a survivor!

35
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? This will be a perfect day ?

36
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? No way to go outside and play ?

37
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? And so we're on our way ?

38
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? To a very nerdy science conference ?

39
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? Ba-ba ba-ba-dum ba-dum, ba-ba ?
_

40
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? Bum-bum, ba-ba-dum, ba-da, ba-ba ?

41
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Take it Bart!

42
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If you're givin' it, I don't want it.

43
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Bring it home, boy.

44
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? My sister sucks! ?

45
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Nyah, nyah.

46
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? It's another perfect day! ?

47
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I brought my stems.

48
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Sir, this is a conference

49
00:02:03,989 --> 00:02:07,592
of Science, Technology,
Engineering and Math.

50
00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:09,260
What about this one?

51
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,696
Dialogue on Pediatric Education.

52
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I find this claim highly doyvik.
_

53
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It's all true according
to the highly-prestigious

54
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Institute for Purchased Science.
_

55
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Here's our top scientist now.

56
00:02:24,476 --> 00:02:26,911
Sir, I-I don't think
this is fooling anyone.

57
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Quiet! And put on the monocle,
Professor Noodle-Strudel.

58
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:34,285
- So where's your booth?
- I don't have one.

59
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- I just came here for fun.
- Fun?!

60
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One child, please.

61
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I was here first.
_

62
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If disco's dead, I don't want to live.
_

63
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It's Stuicide!

64
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Self-unrolling yoga mats.
_

65
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_

66
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Artificial intelligence
that writes TV recaps.

67
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Stranger Things suffers
from season two fatigue.

68
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And look! IMAX Al Gore!

69
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If every family could just
reduce their carbon footprint

70
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by ten percent...

71
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:08,453
Oh, it's hopeless.

72
00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:10,121
The floods are comin', people!

73
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,357
This is my Woodstock!

74
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You okay, honey?

75
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,263
It's fine. It's fine.

76
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:20,465
I'm just intellectually drunk.

77
00:03:20,499 --> 00:03:23,001
Mm. I guess that's okay.

78
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Marge, Marge, Marge, you lighten up.

79
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It's science.

80
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Maybe you should sit down.

81
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I ain't sittin'. I'm ready to fly!

82
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Hmm.

83
00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,501
_

84
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Hey, kid, I want to show you something.

85
00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:41,452
Are you a pervert?

86
00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:43,087
No. A chemical engineer.

87
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No!
_

88
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I used to be like you.

89
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You mean incredibly bored?

90
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Oh, let's see
if you think this is boring.

91
00:03:51,030 --> 00:03:53,765
I drop a little water
on powdered sodium...

92
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Huh?!

93
00:03:55,034 --> 00:03:56,467
Wow!

94
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,202
Listen, I don't know
what you're teaching,

95
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but you and I have great chemistry.

96
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Except for the lab coat.

97
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:03,808
It makes you look kind of heavy.

98
00:04:03,842 --> 00:04:06,844
I actually am kind of heavy,
and it makes me look thinner!

99
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:10,214
I don't know what could make
this day more perfect.

100
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You didn't applaud. Nothing.

101
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Here, I'll show ya how it goes.

102
00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:27,165
Thank you. No selfies.

103
00:04:27,199 --> 00:04:29,334
In a lesser musician,
that boy's attitude

104
00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:31,736
would be needy
masquerading as arrogance.

105
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I'm leaving if he can't sing.

106
00:04:33,605 --> 00:04:36,240
? I've had my share of crazy flings ?

107
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,710
? But they all end up leavin' ?

108
00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:42,747
? And leavin', ?
? well, it really stings... ?

109
00:04:42,781 --> 00:04:45,750
Oh, God. He's one small step away

110
00:04:45,784 --> 00:04:48,686
from destroying all my logic and reason.

111
00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,324
Ah. Ah. Ah.

112
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,892
Hey, Lisa.

113
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I brought you three waters:
cold, lukewarm and warm.

114
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- That's nice. Any sparkling?
- Damn it!

115
00:05:02,799 --> 00:05:05,994
Hi! I'm Lisa Simpson and I'm nervous

116
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about saying anything that will
ruin this perfect moment.

117
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My name's Brendan.

118
00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:12,400
Oh, good, good. No last names.

119
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Don't want things moving too fast.

120
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Oh! I hope our children get his hair.

121
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Now to subtly find out how old he is.

122
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,542
How old are you?

123
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Well, I'm 11, but I'm insouciant
at a 12th grade level,

124
00:05:24,279 --> 00:05:25,680
and I'm talented, too.

125
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So unfair, right?

126
00:05:27,382 --> 00:05:30,852
That's amazing, because
the boys I know are re...

127
00:05:30,886 --> 00:05:32,353
I've got sparkling!

128
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:34,021
Sorry, I'm not thirsty anymore.

129
00:05:34,056 --> 00:05:35,723
Damn it!

130
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:38,492
Um, so w-where do you go to school?

131
00:05:38,527 --> 00:05:40,328
I just moved here.
I'm starting next week

132
00:05:40,362 --> 00:05:41,863
at a school called
Springfield Elementary.

133
00:05:41,897 --> 00:05:44,031
I see it got a few
dreadful reviews on Yelp.

134
00:05:44,066 --> 00:05:46,234
This guy called "Gary Chalmers"
gave it half a star.

135
00:05:46,268 --> 00:05:47,635
Bloody hell!

136
00:05:47,669 --> 00:05:50,271
Of all the K through sixes
in this world,

137
00:05:50,305 --> 00:05:52,273
you had to walk into mine.

138
00:05:52,307 --> 00:05:55,977
A beautiful hotel bar!
Just like in The Shining!

139
00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:58,412
Oh, hi, lee... tle girl.

140
00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,382
If you see your ma... uh, ma wife,

141
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:05,219
tell her Homer... not your dad...
wants the credit card.

142
00:06:05,254 --> 00:06:07,188
I will... sir.

143
00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,657
- Sir? I'm your dad.
- D'oh!

144
00:06:09,691 --> 00:06:11,092
Today, we are performing

145
00:06:11,126 --> 00:06:13,494
an experiment that we humorously call

146
00:06:13,528 --> 00:06:16,063
"making elephant toothpaste."

147
00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:19,066
Boy, the Germans sure know their humor.

148
00:06:19,101 --> 00:06:21,302
Let's just hope they know
something about chemistry.

149
00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:26,107
First, add a tablespoon of
dish soap to hydrogen peroxide,

150
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:29,010
then add the warm water and the yeast!

151
00:06:33,649 --> 00:06:35,616
Aah! German chemistry!

152
00:06:40,045 --> 00:06:43,156
_

153
00:06:46,962 --> 00:06:49,263
Sounds great, Lisa. Really great.

154
00:06:49,298 --> 00:06:51,098
You're just a little behind the beat.

155
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,935
Uh, maybe you're a little ahead?

156
00:06:53,969 --> 00:06:57,104
Aw, you're so cute when you're wrong.

157
00:06:57,139 --> 00:06:59,340
- Channel that rage!
- No!

158
00:06:59,374 --> 00:07:01,175
Make that reed pay for my sins!

159
00:07:04,012 --> 00:07:05,780
Yeah!

160
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,215
Knock off that racket!

161
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,984
It's not a racket!

162
00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,486
It's the truest American art form!

163
00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:15,756
Banging on the walls is
the truest American art form,

164
00:07:15,791 --> 00:07:17,325
and I'm a Picasso!

165
00:07:19,328 --> 00:07:22,129
Oh, no! They're playing in time
to the beat of my banging!

166
00:07:22,164 --> 00:07:24,665
Well, then stop banging.

167
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:27,068
I can't. The rhythm is infectious.

168
00:07:34,274 --> 00:07:35,324
_

169
00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:36,477
_

170
00:07:36,478 --> 00:07:38,980
Here's the school trophy case.
_

171
00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:41,148
If you look closely, it's empty.

172
00:07:41,183 --> 00:07:43,584
They're actually decals on the glass.

173
00:07:45,754 --> 00:07:48,155
Oh, hello, Lisa.

174
00:07:48,190 --> 00:07:49,790
I see you have a new friend.

175
00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:51,993
Brendan, this is Nelson.

176
00:07:52,027 --> 00:07:54,328
Lisa, you sure know a lot of weird guys.

177
00:07:54,363 --> 00:07:55,830
Hello, Brenda.

178
00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:58,332
Excuse me.
Why is being a girl an insult?

179
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,401
Ah! So evolved!

180
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:03,170
Lisa, are you squishy
for this ding-dong?

181
00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:06,007
Lisa, does that fat kid like you?

182
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:10,444
Whatever we had, it's in the past.

183
00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:16,317
I think there's something
in the water in this town.

184
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:26,160
Oh, man.

185
00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:27,962
? On a playground I tripped ?

186
00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,899
? Then I saw you and flipped ?

187
00:08:31,933 --> 00:08:34,001
He used "flipped" with a double meaning!

188
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:35,569
Bastard!

189
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:37,838
? Now I'm skippin' ?

190
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:40,808
? And trippin' for you. ?

191
00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:43,177
He turned his suffering
into entertainment,

192
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:44,745
just like the Jewish people!

193
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,148
Nothing can ruin this moment.

194
00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,116
Make way. Dead gophers.

195
00:08:49,151 --> 00:08:50,684
Nothing!

196
00:08:53,422 --> 00:08:55,623
How can you be sleeping?!

197
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,528
Oh, thank God.

198
00:09:00,562 --> 00:09:04,932
Meanwhile, Bart's teacher says
he has a flair for chemistry.

199
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,434
Why that little...

200
00:09:06,468 --> 00:09:08,936
Wait. Flair? Isn't that a good thing?

201
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,805
Yes. It's too good.

202
00:09:17,446 --> 00:09:19,280
Why don't you ask him what he's up to?

203
00:09:19,314 --> 00:09:22,883
Because if he lies to me,
it's like a dagger in my heart.

204
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:26,253
What happens when...
I mean if... I ever lie to you?

205
00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:28,522
Can you find out what he's really up to?

206
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,658
- I will.
- See? That's a lie right there.

207
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:32,993
D'oh! Okay, I really will.

208
00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:34,962
- That's also a lie.
- D'oh!

209
00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:37,431
Fine. I really, really, really will.

210
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,500
Finally, the truth.

211
00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:43,003
Keeping... promise.

212
00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:46,340
Stupid tree house.

213
00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:48,776
So far off the ground.

214
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:52,646
Uh, Dad, you haven't even
started to climb yet.

215
00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,815
I have to visualize it first.

216
00:09:57,819 --> 00:09:59,019
Thanks, guys.

217
00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:00,454
Ah, no problem.

218
00:10:00,489 --> 00:10:02,022
Why did we do that, Chief?

219
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,958
Fat man courtesy, Lou.

220
00:10:03,992 --> 00:10:05,693
Fat man courtesy.

221
00:10:05,727 --> 00:10:08,162
Son, how do I put this?

222
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:10,531
Are you breaking bad up here?

223
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,032
No, I'm not.

224
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,301
And if you're looking for meth,
go see Cletus.

225
00:10:14,336 --> 00:10:16,470
What?!

226
00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:21,709
Meth Life, proud sponsor
of the 2020 Opioid Olympics!

227
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:26,180
Ooh, that's street ready!

228
00:10:26,214 --> 00:10:28,649
Dad, I'm just trying
to follow in your footsteps.

229
00:10:28,683 --> 00:10:31,485
You work in science,
and I think that's really cool.

230
00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:33,954
Wow, you've never
said that to me before.

231
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,157
Do you want to go to work with me today?

232
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:37,725
You can help me research my theory

233
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,727
that the chairs can go flat.

234
00:10:39,761 --> 00:10:43,697
I'd like to, but I've got to do
some colloidal titration.

235
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,801
Marge, it's worse than we thought.

236
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:49,103
He's speaking in tongues.

237
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:50,604
He's a religious weirdo.

238
00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:51,972
The worst thing there is.

239
00:10:52,007 --> 00:10:53,707
Cover your eyes, boys...

240
00:10:53,742 --> 00:10:57,244
I'm about to flip Mr. Simpson
the "Flanders finger."

241
00:10:57,279 --> 00:10:59,180
You mean...

242
00:10:59,214 --> 00:11:02,550
Yup... a thumbs-up
without a friendly wink.

243
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:06,554
_

244
00:11:06,555 --> 00:11:08,322
You have a credit card?

245
00:11:08,356 --> 00:11:09,890
Yeah, but no money.

246
00:11:09,925 --> 00:11:12,493
Oh, a true jazz musician.

247
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,250
_

248
00:11:23,111 --> 00:11:25,130
_

249
00:11:26,313 --> 00:11:27,670
_

250
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:32,781
_

251
00:11:32,782 --> 00:11:35,249
Just give the ice cream back.

252
00:11:35,283 --> 00:11:37,818
No way. It was really hard to scoop.

253
00:11:37,842 --> 00:11:39,119
_

254
00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:43,190
Prepare to have your ears belted.

255
00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:49,129
? My funny valentine ?

256
00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:52,633
? Sweet, comic valentine ?

257
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:53,634
Nelson?

258
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:56,437
? You make me smile ?

259
00:11:56,471 --> 00:11:59,340
? With my heart ?

260
00:12:01,276 --> 00:12:03,444
Stop! Why are you doing this?

261
00:12:03,478 --> 00:12:06,113
I don't know. There's no
good word for what I feel.

262
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,283
Scared and excited at the same time.

263
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:11,285
There is a word: vulnerable.

264
00:12:11,319 --> 00:12:13,354
"Vulner-able"?

265
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,157
Yup. I always liked you,

266
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:20,094
but now I'm seeing you in a new light.

267
00:12:24,332 --> 00:12:27,101
? Your looks are laughable ?

268
00:12:27,135 --> 00:12:28,569
Haw-haw!

269
00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:31,372
? Unphotographable ?

270
00:12:31,406 --> 00:12:34,541
? But you're my favorite ?

271
00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:36,644
? Work of art ?

272
00:12:36,678 --> 00:12:37,645
? Art ?

273
00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:38,712
? Art ?

274
00:12:38,747 --> 00:12:39,847
? Art. ?

275
00:12:39,881 --> 00:12:41,415
Nailed it.

276
00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:47,898
And so now there's a jazz war over me.

277
00:12:47,899 --> 00:12:50,533
It's pretty bad. But it's pretty great.

278
00:12:50,568 --> 00:12:54,170
Uh-huh. Scotland once had two
queens fightin' over her.

279
00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:55,905
Loser got Scotland.
_

280
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,840
Of course, Brendan
is the superior artist.

281
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,475
But that kind of intimidates me.

282
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:01,177
And Nelson's rough, but he's sweet.

283
00:13:01,212 --> 00:13:02,679
Plus he thinks I have dimples.

284
00:13:02,713 --> 00:13:04,948
Dimples? It's that serious?

285
00:13:04,982 --> 00:13:07,517
- Aye.
- Let me give ye advice on love.

286
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,486
The Scottish national flower
is the thistle.

287
00:13:10,521 --> 00:13:12,488
A humble weed. Legend has it
_

288
00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:14,257
that the Norse King Haakon

289
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,626
staged a surprise invasion.

290
00:13:16,660 --> 00:13:19,796
But his barefooted army
stepped on thistles,

291
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,865
and their screams
awakened the sleepy Scots.

292
00:13:25,402 --> 00:13:28,705
Many a Norwegian lass
lamented their dead lover

293
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:31,040
- on that glorious day.
- Willie,

294
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:33,876
someone spiked the teachers'
vodka with sulfuric acid.

295
00:13:33,911 --> 00:13:36,212
Superintendent Chalmers
lost the tip of his tongue.

296
00:13:36,247 --> 00:13:37,780
Kin-ner!

297
00:13:40,284 --> 00:13:42,118
Lisa, this is a song about you.

298
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,420
A kid who's almost there.

299
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:46,422
And when you get there,
you'll blow the roof off.

300
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:47,590
Oh.

301
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:55,898
Yeah, well, I brought my washboard.

302
00:13:59,236 --> 00:14:01,638
Nelson. You took our washboard.

303
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:05,341
I got thongs to scrub.

304
00:14:06,443 --> 00:14:07,644
I really can't believe

305
00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:08,945
that this is a choice.

306
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:10,179
I mean, look at me.

307
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:11,581
And look at him.

308
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,616
And then look back at me.

309
00:14:14,818 --> 00:14:16,786
Hmm, they're quiet.

310
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,521
Too quiet.

311
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,858
Now they're loud.

312
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:23,159
Too loud.

313
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,529
Now they're just right.

314
00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:28,164
Too just right.

315
00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:30,300
Are you sure
Bart's not planning anything?

316
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:32,302
A boy takes his cues from his mother.

317
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,904
If I trust him, then he'll be good.

318
00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:37,173
Hey, don't knock my mother's method...

319
00:14:37,207 --> 00:14:39,309
complete abandonment from age five.

320
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:42,979
Hmm.

321
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:45,248
The school talent show.

322
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,717
And on the back, chemical equations.

323
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,285
Still think he's innocent?

324
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,654
We'll just have to go there and see.

325
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:57,226
You wanted rock candy,
you got rock candy.

326
00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,628
Mmm.

327
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:00,797
Brendan and Nelson are fighting.
_

328
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:04,467
I'm getting Daddy's gun
to under-arrest them.

329
00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:05,468
Oh, no.

330
00:15:05,502 --> 00:15:07,670
I'm gonna call you decrescendo,

331
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,772
'cause you're goin' down.

332
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,341
Nelson, that's clever.

333
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,477
Thanks. For you, I read a book.

334
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,513
All right, Ralphie, easy, easy.

335
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:19,549
Give Daddy back his hat.

336
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:24,387
Oh, you missed everything,
just like Daddy.

337
00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,860
Ugh, so many clams.

338
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:34,664
Well, you're gonna look
very nice for the show tonight.

339
00:15:34,698 --> 00:15:37,033
It doesn't matter how I look,
I'm not ready.

340
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,569
I've been so distracted by those boys.

341
00:15:39,603 --> 00:15:41,170
How did you choose Dad?

342
00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,705
And never regret it?

343
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,674
Marge, I might've swallowed

344
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,709
a couple of your earrings.

345
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,380
Gotta go.

346
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:56,352
I do not want to know
how you got these back.

347
00:15:56,387 --> 00:15:58,254
So, we're really doing it.

348
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,323
We're going to a talent show

349
00:16:00,357 --> 00:16:03,593
where Bart is putting on
a chemistry demonstration.

350
00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:04,994
Have I got that right?

351
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,296
If our faces get melted off today,

352
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:09,565
I want the last thing Bart sees

353
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,701
to be us believing in him.

354
00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:13,936
Fine, fine. Let me just finish my will.

355
00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:18,784
_

356
00:16:18,809 --> 00:16:20,476
And...

357
00:16:20,511 --> 00:16:22,712
Oh, it's good
to have that taken care of.

358
00:16:22,746 --> 00:16:25,047
_

359
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:29,752
Nelson? A word?

360
00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,220
Take five, Martin.

361
00:16:31,255 --> 00:16:32,889
I'm not even in your act.

362
00:16:32,923 --> 00:16:35,291
I said take five.

363
00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,893
Ooh!
_

364
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:39,529
Nelson, I cherish
our unhealthy relationship.

365
00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:42,231
Especially the fact
that I can tell you the truth.

366
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,300
Kiddo, you're not a singer.

367
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,235
Okay, fine, I won't sing.

368
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,937
But I'll still perform.

369
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:51,140
That's how much I want
to hold your stupid hand.

370
00:16:51,175 --> 00:16:52,408
Oh.

371
00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:54,677
You're up, Nelson.

372
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:58,648
Hello.

373
00:16:58,682 --> 00:17:00,583
I'm the school bully.

374
00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:03,920
Aw, don't be a dingus.

375
00:17:03,954 --> 00:17:05,488
I'm the next Charlie Mingus.

376
00:17:06,924 --> 00:17:08,558
Could I really choose him?

377
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:27,376
My choice is clear: Brendan.

378
00:17:29,012 --> 00:17:30,947
Ooh, yeah, I feel the groove.

379
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:36,686
Next contestant, Brendan Beiderbecke.

380
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,123
And Brendan wins!

381
00:17:41,158 --> 00:17:42,525
Not so fast.

382
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:44,627
We have a disqualification.

383
00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:47,663
This young man does not
live in the district.

384
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:50,233
Right, his home is 50 feet
into West Springfield,

385
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,435
which means he will be
transferred to a school

386
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,838
three buses and a long bike ride
away from here.

387
00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:57,707
- Brendan...
- No, Lisa.

388
00:17:57,741 --> 00:17:59,041
I can't put you through that.

389
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,810
I guess this relationship is over

390
00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:04,247
until this town invests in mass transit.

391
00:18:07,918 --> 00:18:11,053
I'll never see him again.

392
00:18:11,088 --> 00:18:13,856
Lisa, I'm glad you didn't choose me.

393
00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,958
No woman is worth learning music.

394
00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:17,627
All this time I've been choosing jazz

395
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,495
over doing my reps.

396
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,797
Well, my reps never let me down.

397
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,833
Lift weights, get dates.

398
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,968
Lift weights, get dates.

399
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,671
Well, I guess I'm alone for the moment.

400
00:18:28,705 --> 00:18:30,506
And I like it.

401
00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:32,241
- Good for Lisa.
- She's better off alone.

402
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:33,809
She doesn't need a man.

403
00:18:33,844 --> 00:18:35,578
Wait a minute, everybody. Even though

404
00:18:35,612 --> 00:18:37,647
the most interesting and
emotionally compelling part

405
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,649
is over, we still have one performer

406
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,418
who says he will "blow you away."

407
00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:45,888
So please welcome the original
Dennis the Chemist,

408
00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,456
Bart Simpson.

409
00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:56,599
Drop the beaker, Screwy Pasteur.

410
00:18:58,001 --> 00:19:00,736
No. I wasn't doing anything bad.

411
00:19:00,771 --> 00:19:02,305
Pour the beaker and you'll see.

412
00:19:02,339 --> 00:19:05,174
We are not gonna let you
mix those chemicals.

413
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,176
We got a tip from an anonymous source

414
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,045
named Seymour Skinner.

415
00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:11,547
Do you even know what "anonymous" means?

416
00:19:11,582 --> 00:19:13,282
Uh, helpful?

417
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:15,918
Mom, I'm innocent.

418
00:19:15,953 --> 00:19:17,553
You believe me, don't you?

419
00:19:17,588 --> 00:19:20,056
Oh, if he's lying,
I'll never forgive him.

420
00:19:20,090 --> 00:19:22,725
If he's telling the truth,
he'll never forgive me.

421
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,062
Glad I'm not you.

422
00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:29,231
Bart, sweetie,
I'll pour the beaker for you.

423
00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:45,047
Ooh!

424
00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:47,116
Ah!

425
00:19:48,952 --> 00:19:51,387
He's innocent. But then
who put the sulfuric acid

426
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,280
in Superintendent Chalmers' drink?

427
00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:54,423
I did.

428
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,926
- Willie! Why?
- Why?

429
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,029
Because, Seymour,
I was trying to kill you.

430
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,398
Well, that's okay. Good man.

431
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:03,933
- But...
- Quiet, Seymour.

432
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,601
The man's got a dream.

433
00:20:05,636 --> 00:20:07,269
Mmm.

434
00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:10,206
I never doubted you.

435
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,807
Well, you should have.

436
00:20:20,857 --> 00:20:25,078
_

437
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,692
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

438
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,828
This episode was supposed
to have been a parody

439
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,831
of Moonlight, not La La Land.

440
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,200
Moonlight? But none of us have seen it.

441
00:20:36,234 --> 00:20:38,802
We have the DVD.
We could watch it tonight.

442
00:20:38,837 --> 00:20:41,138
Either that or X-Men: Apocalypse.

443
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:42,640
X-Men!

444
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:44,675
I'd like to see Moonlight.

445
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:52,431
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -

