1
00:00:01,641 --> 00:00:04,420
? Crazy is when I go off the rails ?

2
00:00:04,445 --> 00:00:07,479
? This is what you've done to me ?

3
00:00:07,481 --> 00:00:10,215
? Crazy is how your
loving makes me feel ?

4
00:00:10,217 --> 00:00:13,562
? This is what I always want to be ?

5
00:00:13,587 --> 00:00:16,722
? I like it when a
girl gets crazy in bed ?

6
00:00:16,724 --> 00:00:19,925
? Don't mess with the bitch
who's crazy in the head ?

7
00:00:20,946 --> 00:00:22,461
- ? You do ?
- ? You don't ?

8
00:00:22,463 --> 00:00:23,929
? Want to be crazy ?

9
00:00:23,954 --> 00:00:25,574
- ? And you don't ?
- ? You do ?

10
00:00:25,599 --> 00:00:26,898
? Want to be crazy ?

11
00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:30,736
? To clarify, yes,
no, on the crazy ?

12
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:33,306
? We hope this helps. ?

13
00:00:35,158 --> 00:00:36,236
What?

14
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,630
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

15
00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:39,829
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...

16
00:00:40,147 --> 00:00:42,853
Mr. Plimpton Sr., how
wonderful to see you!

17
00:00:44,318 --> 00:00:47,052
- Pop, you're here.
- Were you asleep?

18
00:00:47,077 --> 00:00:51,251
- Were you feeling ti-ti?
- No, I was, um, I was... sick?

19
00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:52,244
Hello, Bert.

20
00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,517
How long have you been a
diagnosed schizophrenic?

21
00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:54,708
16 years.

22
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,208
Maybe having a baby

23
00:00:56,263 --> 00:00:59,339
started out as a whim, but it's
what I want for my life now.

24
00:00:59,364 --> 00:01:01,677
You don't want a baby, maybe not ever.

25
00:01:02,059 --> 00:01:03,365
This is not Josh's fault.

26
00:01:03,390 --> 00:01:04,759
It's not even about Josh.

27
00:01:05,171 --> 00:01:05,961
Maybe it never was.

28
00:01:05,963 --> 00:01:07,162
I'm spiraling.

29
00:01:07,164 --> 00:01:09,698
I feel like there's no ground
under me, you know?

30
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,099
I'm here for you.

31
00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:19,970
_

32
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:24,980
- Whoa. Good morning.
- Hi.

33
00:01:25,481 --> 00:01:26,681
Hi, how are you?

34
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:29,084
I am so great.

35
00:01:30,387 --> 00:01:31,396
Hey.

36
00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:33,054
I have an idea.

37
00:01:33,641 --> 00:01:36,817
Why don't you... take the day off today

38
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,575
and let's do something fun like...

39
00:01:40,841 --> 00:01:42,541
go to Raging Waters.

40
00:01:42,543 --> 00:01:45,544
Oh, I'd love to if water
parks weren't disgusting.

41
00:01:45,546 --> 00:01:47,479
Oh... And I have a deposition today.

42
00:01:47,481 --> 00:01:50,215
But, then tonight, I'm
taking you to a fancy dinner

43
00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:51,317
in Beverly Hills.

44
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,551
What?

45
00:01:52,553 --> 00:01:53,552
Yeah, I made reservations.

46
00:01:53,554 --> 00:01:54,687
It's a bit of schlep, but...

47
00:01:54,689 --> 00:01:55,888
Wait, since when

48
00:01:55,890 --> 00:01:57,089
do you use the word schlep?

49
00:01:57,091 --> 00:01:58,691
Oh, well, I've been
watching a lot of Seinfeld.

50
00:01:58,693 --> 00:01:59,992
I have a Jewish girlfriend, after all.

51
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,026
Girlfriend?!

52
00:02:01,028 --> 00:02:02,995
Wow, you are squealing a lot today.

53
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,730
Only 'cause you're such a mensch.

54
00:02:04,732 --> 00:02:06,532
- Oh, oh, this again, okay.
- Mm-hmm.

55
00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:07,700
Oh, all right.

56
00:02:11,105 --> 00:02:12,638
How's your shower?

57
00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:16,063
He can't hear me, it's fine.

58
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:37,096
Oh, Nathan-ay-el.

59
00:02:37,098 --> 00:02:39,031
I scooped up his shirt and I smelled it.

60
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,800
But I didn't just smell it,
I-I buried my whole face in it.

61
00:02:41,802 --> 00:02:43,635
And it smelled so good.

62
00:02:43,637 --> 00:02:45,537
It smelled like the
yummiest parts of his armpit.

63
00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:47,373
- I wanted to live in it.
- Don't panic.

64
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:50,142
Okay? You felt intimacy
and affection, that's okay.

65
00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,177
But is it, though? For me,

66
00:02:52,179 --> 00:02:53,679
first it starts out as
intimacy and affection

67
00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:55,013
and then I get one little love kernel...

68
00:02:55,015 --> 00:02:56,648
That's what I call them...
And the next thing you know,

69
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:58,217
you know, I'm buying a
shrub costume and hanging

70
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,919
someone's teddy bear from a
closet rod by a karate belt.

71
00:03:00,921 --> 00:03:02,621
- What?
- We'll talk about that later.

72
00:03:02,623 --> 00:03:04,038
The point is,

73
00:03:04,063 --> 00:03:06,959
I am worried how much I'm into this guy.

74
00:03:06,961 --> 00:03:09,561
Is it bad? Is-is-is it bad?
Please tell me it's not bad.

75
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:10,796
It feels so good, but is it bad?

76
00:03:10,798 --> 00:03:12,264
Rebecca, you're here.

77
00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:14,967
You're in therapy, working
hard, addressing your issues.

78
00:03:14,969 --> 00:03:16,902
Okay, all you have to
do is slow down a bit.

79
00:03:16,904 --> 00:03:19,371
Just be mindful as you get
to know Nathaniel better.

80
00:03:19,396 --> 00:03:21,707
Okay, be mindful as I
get to know him better.

81
00:03:21,709 --> 00:03:22,738
I can do that.

82
00:03:22,763 --> 00:03:24,430
Just one more thing.

83
00:03:27,148 --> 00:03:28,080
Oh, lord.

84
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:29,548
Is it bad that I'm wearing this?

85
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:31,617
It's not great.

86
00:03:33,902 --> 00:03:35,636
Hey, Darryl. You ready?

87
00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,776
We got some things to go
over before the deposition.

88
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,999
What is that? Is that a hooker catalog?

89
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:41,767
It's not safe for work, buddy.

90
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,380
Hey, while I'm busting
your balls, I got to say,

91
00:03:44,972 --> 00:03:46,987
it stinks in here.

92
00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:49,222
The taxidermy, the hides, the feathers.

93
00:03:49,247 --> 00:03:51,514
There's so much dead Southwestern stuff

94
00:03:51,516 --> 00:03:53,750
here, it's like CSI: New Mexico.

95
00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:54,918
This is my heritage.

96
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,186
Honey, if you bought it at a
gas station, it ain't heritage.

97
00:03:57,188 --> 00:03:59,699
So, can you put away the
hooker book and let's go.

98
00:03:59,715 --> 00:04:01,096
This is not a hooker book.

99
00:04:01,121 --> 00:04:02,520
In and amongst these pages

100
00:04:02,522 --> 00:04:04,840
is the potential mother of my child.

101
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,457
You mean, a surrogate?

102
00:04:06,504 --> 00:04:08,638
No, the surrogate is a nice lady

103
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,341
from Chino Hills whose already done this
for a few other families.

104
00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:13,916
These are the egg donors.

105
00:04:13,941 --> 00:04:17,041
These are the women whose DNA
I'm gonna be commingling with.

106
00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:19,176
Wow, Darryl.

107
00:04:20,488 --> 00:04:22,346
I got to say, I am proud of you.

108
00:04:22,371 --> 00:04:23,904
I thought after your breakup,

109
00:04:23,906 --> 00:04:25,660
you would just dissolve into a puddle,

110
00:04:25,685 --> 00:04:28,008
but you are forging ahead all alone.

111
00:04:28,010 --> 00:04:30,210
That's exactly the problem.

112
00:04:30,212 --> 00:04:32,479
I feel like I'm picking
a future for this baby

113
00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:34,191
and it's all on me.

114
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:35,826
What if I pick the wrong person?

115
00:04:36,371 --> 00:04:39,207
What if I mess this up?

116
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:41,532
I am trying not to meddle
in people's lives so much,

117
00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,190
but I can see you need help.

118
00:04:43,192 --> 00:04:45,993
Also, catalog shopping
and judging people

119
00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:47,895
are two of my best events, so...

120
00:04:47,897 --> 00:04:50,230
why don't I just pull up a tom-tom

121
00:04:50,232 --> 00:04:54,001
and take a look.

122
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,669
That's a priceless antique.

123
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:58,739
Oh, please, I know off-price
retail when I see it.

124
00:04:59,574 --> 00:05:02,683
Oh, this is easy. Here we go.

125
00:05:02,708 --> 00:05:04,933
Okay, rapid-fire:

126
00:05:05,147 --> 00:05:06,801
Crooked nose, snaggletooth,

127
00:05:06,832 --> 00:05:08,769
from Nevada, weird mole,

128
00:05:08,988 --> 00:05:11,151
dumb scarf, likes cats,

129
00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:13,454
dimple on one side, clearly drunk,

130
00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:15,155
no chin, sloping chin,

131
00:05:15,157 --> 00:05:16,760
three chins, vegetarian.

132
00:05:16,785 --> 00:05:19,268
Oh, my God, I didn't
notice all these bad things.

133
00:05:19,293 --> 00:05:20,861
I don't want my child to go through life

134
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:22,729
with something like just one dimple.

135
00:05:22,731 --> 00:05:24,598
It's already gonna have just one parent.

136
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:27,634
Aw, Darryl. Darryl,
don't worry about that.

137
00:05:27,636 --> 00:05:29,536
I mean, yeah, okay, they'll
only have one parent,

138
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,605
but... it's a good one.

139
00:05:31,607 --> 00:05:33,207
You think I'm a good parent?

140
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,374
I do.

141
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,376
You know, the first time
I saw you with Madison,

142
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,444
you know what I thought?

143
00:05:37,446 --> 00:05:40,465
"Oh, this is what he's good at""

144
00:05:41,457 --> 00:05:44,751
Hey, when do we get to go
through the guy catalog?

145
00:05:44,974 --> 00:05:46,160
What do you mean?

146
00:05:46,185 --> 00:05:47,588
I'm providing all the guy stuff.

147
00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:48,520
Really?

148
00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:51,959
So... all your stuff still works?

149
00:05:51,961 --> 00:05:53,393
It's not expired?

150
00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:55,562
Well, I don't know.

151
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:56,897
I mean...

152
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,065
they haven't tested it yet.

153
00:05:58,067 --> 00:06:00,334
Oh, my God, what if my guy stuff is bad?

154
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,535
I didn't even think of that.

155
00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:02,778
Tell you what.

156
00:06:02,803 --> 00:06:05,906
You go to the doctor right
now, get your mayonnaise tested.

157
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,989
While you are doing that, I...

158
00:06:08,143 --> 00:06:11,785
will find us... the right girl.

159
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,914
Don't we have to go to the deposition?

160
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,549
Oh.

161
00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:16,650
You go.

162
00:06:16,652 --> 00:06:18,252
That is boring compared to this.

163
00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:21,477
This is a chance to
create the ultimate human.

164
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:24,697
Get out. Go.

165
00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,073
Oh... Mmm...

166
00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:30,764
That was really good
Italian food tonight.

167
00:06:31,118 --> 00:06:33,617
Ooh. You know what was even better?

168
00:06:34,203 --> 00:06:36,270
I'm gonna say the sex we just had.

169
00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:37,867
- Yep.
- Mmm.

170
00:06:38,741 --> 00:06:41,109
Hey, I was thinking about it and...

171
00:06:42,044 --> 00:06:43,766
I want to get to know each other better.

172
00:06:43,891 --> 00:06:46,046
Outside of the, the sex.

173
00:06:46,048 --> 00:06:48,909
Okay, yeah, let's do it.

174
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:50,250
Yeah. Uh, all right.

175
00:06:50,252 --> 00:06:51,952
Let me think of a question for you.

176
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,754
Um...

177
00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,389
Ooh! Okay, here's one.

178
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:58,357
- Tell me about your childhood.
- Well, I don't know,

179
00:06:58,382 --> 00:06:59,726
I don't think we need
to talk about that.

180
00:06:59,728 --> 00:07:01,495
Oh, no, no, please, tell me.

181
00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:04,581
I want to know, what was little
Nathaniel's life like? Hmm?

182
00:07:05,253 --> 00:07:08,096
Well, um, okay, my parents...

183
00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:11,081
are... not super warm.

184
00:07:11,106 --> 00:07:13,240
Um, I was kind of a lonely kid.

185
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:14,341
I didn't have any siblings.

186
00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:15,842
I was good friends with the gardener,

187
00:07:15,844 --> 00:07:17,875
which is why I hablo espaņol.

188
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,246
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.

189
00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:21,915
I'm just picturing,
like, little Nathaniel

190
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:24,651
wandering around, little-little bow tie

191
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,753
and knee socks like Prince George.

192
00:07:26,755 --> 00:07:28,322
Okay, well, it wasn't so bad.

193
00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:30,680
My mom and I, uh, we actually
have a pretty good relationship.

194
00:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,560
Um... my dad and I...

195
00:07:33,562 --> 00:07:34,861
not so much.

196
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:36,630
Our relationship consists mainly

197
00:07:36,632 --> 00:07:39,071
of him glowering and me cowering.

198
00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:41,331
Sometimes I wish we were closer.

199
00:07:41,537 --> 00:07:42,618
You know?

200
00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:44,710
Or close at all.

201
00:07:45,019 --> 00:07:48,220
Or like, knew each other.

202
00:07:49,645 --> 00:07:53,981
Wow, I've, uh, I've
never said that to anyone.

203
00:07:53,983 --> 00:07:55,329
Really?

204
00:07:55,354 --> 00:07:57,184
I mean, I've talked to Esteban about it,

205
00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,553
but I've never had a
girlfriend who, you know,

206
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:00,918
wants to get to know me like you do.

207
00:08:01,309 --> 00:08:03,667
Well, have you talked to
your father about this?

208
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,125
Have you told him you
wish you were closer?

209
00:08:05,127 --> 00:08:06,159
You should tell him.

210
00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:07,394
No, God, I could never.

211
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,296
He should know how sweet you are.

212
00:08:09,298 --> 00:08:10,731
- Am I?
- Yes.

213
00:08:10,764 --> 00:08:12,610
Wow, it's crazy that you think that.

214
00:08:12,635 --> 00:08:13,934
I just...

215
00:08:13,936 --> 00:08:16,269
I just wish there was some
way for your father to know

216
00:08:16,271 --> 00:08:18,505
how wonderful you are.

217
00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:20,407
She's perfect.

218
00:08:20,409 --> 00:08:21,908
Look.

219
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,845
Number 456H76.

220
00:08:24,847 --> 00:08:26,380
I have been through this entire book

221
00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:28,315
and she is the only acceptable one.

222
00:08:28,317 --> 00:08:30,384
College educated, doesn't
smoke, left-handed...

223
00:08:30,386 --> 00:08:32,219
That means creative. When
asked for their pastimes,

224
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:34,221
she's the only one who did not
mention the beach or her dog

225
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:35,689
or going to the beach with her dog.

226
00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,524
Also, no duck lips, no contouring,

227
00:08:37,526 --> 00:08:40,494
no fake eyelashes, no
posing on a flamingo float.

228
00:08:40,496 --> 00:08:41,754
She is the one.

229
00:08:42,301 --> 00:08:43,764
I don't even have a second choice.

230
00:08:43,766 --> 00:08:45,799
Oh, yeah, she looks nice.

231
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:47,534
She's got kind eyes.

232
00:08:47,786 --> 00:08:49,362
Your welcome.

233
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:52,101
Yeah!

234
00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:55,694
Hello. I would like to place
an order for Mr. Whitefeather.

235
00:08:55,719 --> 00:09:00,714
We would like one egg
from number 456H76, please.

236
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:05,953
What do you mean it's not available?

237
00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:13,226
So, you have it, but I can't have it?

238
00:09:15,228 --> 00:09:17,295
Do you have the egg or not?

239
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,608
It's in the...

240
00:09:20,805 --> 00:09:22,342
It's in the catalog.

241
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,338
It's unbelievable.

242
00:09:25,340 --> 00:09:27,239
Apparently these women can
just opt out of being donors

243
00:09:27,443 --> 00:09:29,242
whenever they want,
even though their eggs

244
00:09:29,244 --> 00:09:31,011
are still in the vault.

245
00:09:31,013 --> 00:09:33,438
Oh, it's so unfair, frustrating.

246
00:09:33,882 --> 00:09:35,482
? Coffee time George ?

247
00:09:35,484 --> 00:09:37,184
? Time for George's coffee ?

248
00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:39,219
? A little time just for George? ?

249
00:09:39,221 --> 00:09:41,088
? He's gonna make himself a cup ?

250
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,857
- ? He's gonna drink it up, he's... ?
- REBECCA: Psst.

251
00:09:43,859 --> 00:09:45,759
Oh, hey, Rebecca.

252
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:47,694
How are you? It's good to see you.

253
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,563
Shut up. Just meet me
in the bathroom now.

254
00:09:49,862 --> 00:09:51,565
Ladies', mens', what's happening?

255
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,533
What are you doing?

256
00:09:53,535 --> 00:09:55,784
I mean, why are we sneaking around?

257
00:09:56,471 --> 00:09:58,004
Okay, listen.

258
00:09:58,029 --> 00:09:58,979
Cool. No one's here.

259
00:09:59,004 --> 00:10:00,507
I don't work here anymore

260
00:10:00,509 --> 00:10:02,142
and I just can't deal with
people right now, being like,

261
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,977
"Oh, how are you? Are
you feeling better?"

262
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,445
And, "I'm glad you're not dead""

263
00:10:05,447 --> 00:10:07,694
and, "If you were so depressed,
why didn't you lose weight?"

264
00:10:07,719 --> 00:10:09,649
I don't think anybody would say that.

265
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,485
I like your very normal body.

266
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:12,753
I think it's brave.

267
00:10:12,755 --> 00:10:14,154
Blech. Okay.

268
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:16,156
Point is, I just can't
deal with people right now.

269
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:18,992
But, I need you to do something for me.

270
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:21,595
I don't have access to the
company database anymore

271
00:10:21,597 --> 00:10:24,965
and I need you to forward
me Nathaniel Sr.'s calendar.

272
00:10:24,967 --> 00:10:26,233
I'll tell you why. I'm gonna

273
00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:29,002
accidentally... on purpose...
Run into Nathaniel Sr.

274
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,571
So I can repair his
relationship with Nathaniel.

275
00:10:32,127 --> 00:10:33,607
He needs to know how wonderful

276
00:10:33,609 --> 00:10:36,443
and sweet and thoughtful Nathaniel is.

277
00:10:36,445 --> 00:10:39,679
- My Nathaniel?
- Yes, our Nathaniel!

278
00:10:40,287 --> 00:10:42,849
For instance, he always makes sure

279
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,559
that I am taken care of
first, if you get my drift,

280
00:10:45,584 --> 00:10:47,821
and his dad needs to
know things like that.

281
00:10:47,823 --> 00:10:50,086
Okay. Yeah, no, I don't
think this is a good idea.

282
00:10:50,118 --> 00:10:51,117
Shut up!

283
00:10:52,094 --> 00:10:54,004
I'm sorry. That was mean.

284
00:10:54,782 --> 00:10:56,062
Shut up.

285
00:10:56,087 --> 00:10:58,305
Just get me Nathaniel Sr.'s calendar.

286
00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:00,148
I don't think that's a good idea.

287
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:03,403
It is an invasion of privacy,
and I don't work for you.

288
00:11:03,405 --> 00:11:04,671
Okay, you know what? I respect that.

289
00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:06,106
It's just, if you don't do this,

290
00:11:06,108 --> 00:11:07,284
I will try to kill myself again,

291
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:09,440
and this time, I'll succeed,
and the note will blame you.

292
00:11:09,578 --> 00:11:11,077
Yeah, that's what I thought. Okay, so,

293
00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:12,712
come on, scurry and
get it.

294
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,282
Otherwise, uh, uh...

295
00:11:15,315 --> 00:11:17,081
Oh, my God. I'm just...

296
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:29,400
Joshua, darling,

297
00:11:29,425 --> 00:11:30,925
this is not great.

298
00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:33,067
You haven't packed at all.

299
00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:36,811
You're moving out, and this
closet is still full of junk.

300
00:11:37,927 --> 00:11:38,999
Oh.

301
00:11:39,024 --> 00:11:42,926
You know I need this whole room
for my in-home daycare business.

302
00:11:42,928 --> 00:11:44,428
This is the toddler room.

303
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,630
The muralist is coming on Monday.

304
00:11:46,632 --> 00:11:48,899
She's painting a wonderful

305
00:11:48,901 --> 00:11:50,534
dolphin scene.

306
00:11:50,536 --> 00:11:52,169
Dolphins? Are you kidding?!

307
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:55,205
You never let me have a dolphin
mural, and I love dolphins.

308
00:11:55,207 --> 00:11:56,618
They're the princes of the sea.

309
00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:59,011
When I was a toddler, I just had walls.

310
00:12:00,145 --> 00:12:02,009
Why are you making me move?

311
00:12:02,191 --> 00:12:03,924
I don't want to move.

312
00:12:03,949 --> 00:12:06,883
But I need this room,
sweetheart. You know that.

313
00:12:06,885 --> 00:12:08,485
And it will be so fun

314
00:12:08,487 --> 00:12:10,552
living with Hector and his mother.

315
00:12:10,823 --> 00:12:12,856
She lives near Souplantation.

316
00:12:12,858 --> 00:12:15,025
You love Souplantation.

317
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:17,088
I'm just going through a tough time.

318
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:18,762
Too much change.

319
00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:20,864
I'm still on probation with Aloha,

320
00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,172
I had to quit Home Base
after my zit explosion.

321
00:12:23,197 --> 00:12:24,468
And I went through

322
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:26,236
this really intense thing with Rebecca,

323
00:12:26,238 --> 00:12:29,782
who, come to find out,
never really cared about me.

324
00:12:30,276 --> 00:12:32,009
I'm in a lot of flux.

325
00:12:33,265 --> 00:12:34,845
Flux!

326
00:12:34,847 --> 00:12:36,546
Josh, please.

327
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,968
Just pack the closet, my sweetheart.

328
00:12:43,776 --> 00:12:45,289
I think I can really

329
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:47,124
bring Nathaniel and
his dad closer together.

330
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:49,459
You know, bridge the
gap between them, and

331
00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:51,461
I have such a great plan for doing that.

332
00:12:51,486 --> 00:12:54,364
- Hmm. I wonder about that.
- What?

333
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:55,855
It feels like you're putting
yourself out there again.

334
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,701
No, I'm being very mindful,
like we talked about.

335
00:12:57,703 --> 00:12:59,486
And I'm using the exact tools

336
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:01,071
that we have all learned here

337
00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:02,980
in group therapy with my friends,

338
00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:06,410
Lana and Clarice and Bert

339
00:13:06,412 --> 00:13:08,745
- and Jo... illson.
- Rick.

340
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,609
My name is Rick. I tell you every week.

341
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:11,546
You full-on forgot his name.

342
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:13,150
Yes, I did, but Rick,

343
00:13:13,152 --> 00:13:14,651
I mean, doesn't even know my name,

344
00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:16,063
and he barely shows an interest in me.

345
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:17,727
If you ask me, your over-involvement

346
00:13:17,752 --> 00:13:20,594
in your dude's life is very
problematic, Rebecca Nora Bunch.

347
00:13:20,619 --> 00:13:22,025
Oh...

348
00:13:22,027 --> 00:13:24,628
- Snap.
- Didn't you tell us other stories

349
00:13:24,630 --> 00:13:26,330
about you trying to run into people?

350
00:13:26,332 --> 00:13:29,482
If you ask me, the whole
thing sounds very "O""

351
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,514
"O"?

352
00:13:30,539 --> 00:13:32,806
Oh. No, Lana, it's not O-bsessive.

353
00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,977
I agree with L. Seems "O." B-T O.

354
00:13:36,002 --> 00:13:39,086
Can we just use real words?
Is that so much to ask?

355
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:40,008
Listen, Rebecca,

356
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:42,412
I know how easy it is to get obsessed.

357
00:13:42,414 --> 00:13:44,181
I also get intense about stuff.

358
00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:45,582
I get very maniacally

359
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:47,584
fixated on things, and
that's why they thought

360
00:13:47,586 --> 00:13:49,152
that I was a paranoid schizophrenic,

361
00:13:49,154 --> 00:13:50,554
but they were obviously wrong.

362
00:13:50,556 --> 00:13:51,755
I am borderline,

363
00:13:51,757 --> 00:13:54,057
and that's why I can't
trust them or anyone else,

364
00:13:54,059 --> 00:13:55,176
because they're all out to get me!

365
00:13:55,201 --> 00:13:57,895
Bert, hey, hi. Look at
me. Let's take a breath.

366
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,560
Were you saying that to him or me?
'Cause you were looking right at me.

367
00:14:00,562 --> 00:14:02,423
I don't need to take a breath.
Bert does,

368
00:14:02,439 --> 00:14:05,163
- and Rebecca definitely does.
- How dare you.

369
00:14:05,188 --> 00:14:08,406
I think we all need
to take a deep breath.

370
00:14:13,402 --> 00:14:15,168
That feels better.

371
00:14:15,426 --> 00:14:17,726
- Lana didn't breathe.
- You can't make me.

372
00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:19,728
Okay, everyone,

373
00:14:19,730 --> 00:14:21,530
I hear you. I appreciate
everyone's advice,

374
00:14:21,532 --> 00:14:23,499
and I am being present and taking it in.

375
00:14:23,501 --> 00:14:24,733
And Lana, it's true, okay?

376
00:14:24,735 --> 00:14:27,202
I did spy on people in the
past, and it was unhealthy,

377
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:28,470
but this time, it's not that.

378
00:14:28,472 --> 00:14:29,571
I'm doing something nice

379
00:14:29,573 --> 00:14:31,517
for someone that I care about.

380
00:14:31,767 --> 00:14:33,809
Which is okay, right, Dr. Shin?

381
00:14:33,811 --> 00:14:35,644
Doing nice things is fine.

382
00:14:35,646 --> 00:14:38,859
Overextending yourself because
you're idealizing someone

383
00:14:38,884 --> 00:14:40,548
is what I want you to keep an eye on.

384
00:14:40,573 --> 00:14:43,587
Okay. Okay, my eyes are
on that. My eyes are on me.

385
00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,298
Ah.

386
00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:50,426
Well, hello, number 456H76.

387
00:14:52,830 --> 00:14:55,564
Oh, it's too easy.

388
00:14:57,673 --> 00:14:58,634
Hi.

389
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:01,497
I'm Paula. Do you have a second?

390
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,392
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you.

391
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:10,045
Oh, excuse me, Miss,

392
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:11,739
do you have any magazines
with men in them?

393
00:15:11,764 --> 00:15:13,942
Sure. I'm so sorry.

394
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:17,353
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

395
00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:19,488
I... I'd like to hang onto 'em both.

396
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:22,591
Oh, of course. Whatever brings
all your boys to the yard.

397
00:15:22,593 --> 00:15:24,067
Oh, thank you.

398
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:26,128
That is really
professional of you to say.

399
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,504
What am I doing here?

400
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:32,568
I got you his schedule.
I want out of this scam.

401
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:34,903
Well, sorry, but you're
my driver and my wingman

402
00:15:34,905 --> 00:15:36,805
and co-conspirator and my
suicide prevention buddy.

403
00:15:36,807 --> 00:15:38,941
What don't you understand
about this relationship?

404
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:40,309
Put on these pants.

405
00:15:40,311 --> 00:15:41,710
Just do it here right now.

406
00:15:41,712 --> 00:15:43,278
Well, I can go to the bathroom.

407
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,213
There's no time, and don't worry.

408
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:45,280
I know what you got down there.

409
00:15:45,282 --> 00:15:46,482
I've seen plenty of them in my day.

410
00:15:46,484 --> 00:15:48,250
Well, I'm-I'm wearing
underwear, so you wouldn't...

411
00:15:48,252 --> 00:15:50,052
- Just put on the damn pants!
- Okay. Oh, well, no!

412
00:15:50,054 --> 00:15:51,820
What are we doing?
Where are we even going?

413
00:15:51,822 --> 00:15:54,823
I'm so sad I don't have the
ability to fire you right now.

414
00:15:54,825 --> 00:15:56,570
Tell me, or I'm out.

415
00:15:56,595 --> 00:15:58,961
Oh, really? 'Cause boop,
boop, glug, glug, glug.

416
00:15:58,963 --> 00:16:01,830
- "It was George. George made me do it"
- Then I'll do it, I'll do it.

417
00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:05,434
Okay.

418
00:16:05,436 --> 00:16:07,169
So, Nathaniel Sr. Will
be here any second,

419
00:16:07,171 --> 00:16:08,869
and when he gets here,
I am going to walk over

420
00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:11,240
and just casually strike up
a conversation about golf.

421
00:16:11,242 --> 00:16:13,342
I stayed up all night watching
old Masters Tournaments,

422
00:16:13,367 --> 00:16:14,610
yeah, memorizing stats.

423
00:16:14,612 --> 00:16:16,812
Oh, here's one. For
instance, did you know

424
00:16:16,814 --> 00:16:18,947
that Arnold Palmer won 92 tournaments,

425
00:16:18,949 --> 00:16:20,549
and is not just a beverage?

426
00:16:20,551 --> 00:16:21,984
Oh, there he is. There he is.

427
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:23,185
Okay.

428
00:16:23,187 --> 00:16:24,553
Enjoy.

429
00:16:24,555 --> 00:16:27,057
Okay, he's not
really dressed for golf, but...

430
00:16:27,059 --> 00:16:29,301
All right, so we're
just gonna walk up to him

431
00:16:29,326 --> 00:16:30,859
and be like, "Oh, I think

432
00:16:30,861 --> 00:16:32,161
"you're Nathaniel Plimpton, Sr.

433
00:16:32,163 --> 00:16:34,263
I'm kind of dating your son." All right.

434
00:16:34,265 --> 00:16:35,864
Come on. Oh.

435
00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:37,299
Oh.

436
00:16:37,301 --> 00:16:39,368
Wait. He's walking the wrong way.

437
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:42,070
What? Where is he going?

438
00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:44,706
Ooh. Hmm?

439
00:16:47,445 --> 00:16:49,878
Who the hell is that?

440
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,448
Where is Nathaniel Sr. going?

441
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,286
I don't know.

442
00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:57,352
It could be a drug deal or an affair.

443
00:16:57,354 --> 00:16:59,208
Probably ride-sharing app.

444
00:16:59,857 --> 00:17:01,590
All right, well, come
on. Let's follow him.

445
00:17:01,592 --> 00:17:02,724
What now?

446
00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:04,586
Well, if something weird is going on,

447
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,061
I have to get to the bottom of it.

448
00:17:06,063 --> 00:17:07,796
I owe it to Nathaniel, so, let's go.

449
00:17:07,798 --> 00:17:10,265
Oh.

450
00:17:15,178 --> 00:17:17,628
Good-bye, baseball I
caught at Dodger Stadium.

451
00:17:19,376 --> 00:17:22,144
Good-bye, volleyball I
caught at Redondo Beach.

452
00:17:24,148 --> 00:17:26,882
Oh. Good-bye, tissue
from the cold I caught

453
00:17:26,884 --> 00:17:28,884
from the hot girl in algebra class.

454
00:17:35,326 --> 00:17:38,061
Oh, man! Oh!

455
00:17:39,930 --> 00:17:42,764
Oh! I can't throw this out.

456
00:17:42,766 --> 00:17:45,522
This has all my favorite
karaoke tracks on it.

457
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,372
What? The batteries still work.

458
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:56,512
"First Love!"

459
00:17:56,514 --> 00:17:58,847
Love this song.

460
00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,767
Hello. Check, one, two, three.

461
00:18:04,288 --> 00:18:06,588
Oh.

462
00:18:10,991 --> 00:18:15,294
? Tonight I'm looking back ?

463
00:18:17,345 --> 00:18:20,269
? I'm watching the pains
flick across the flames ?

464
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:24,273
? Of a million memories... ?

465
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,308
You don't know me, but I
have a confession to make.

466
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:28,076
Does it have anything
to do with the fact

467
00:18:28,078 --> 00:18:29,945
- that you've been stalking me?
- What?

468
00:18:29,947 --> 00:18:33,215
I've seen you skulking around
the park for the past hour.

469
00:18:33,217 --> 00:18:36,018
I'm flattered, but I'm into men. Sorry.

470
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,118
Oh, no, no, no. No, no. I...

471
00:18:38,389 --> 00:18:40,289
I have to talk to you urgently.

472
00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:43,132
So what is up with you taking
your eggs off the donor site?

473
00:18:43,157 --> 00:18:44,459
I have a dear friend who really, really,

474
00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:46,929
really wants to make
a baby with those eggs.

475
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:50,409
Okay, so this is not
appropriate or legal.

476
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:53,128
So I'm just gonna reach for
my phone and call the police.

477
00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,203
Oh, no, no, no! What do
you want? What do you want?

478
00:18:55,205 --> 00:18:58,355
Ooh! How about store credit
at an off-price retailer?

479
00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,059
I just returned a tom-tom thingie

480
00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:01,466
that you can kind of sit on.

481
00:19:01,509 --> 00:19:03,673
Okay, look, this is
none of your business,

482
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:05,433
and I'm sorry for your friend,

483
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:08,031
but I'm not donating anymore.

484
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:12,214
I graduated, and I'm getting
married, and I'm moving on.

485
00:19:12,239 --> 00:19:14,570
But your picture is still there,
and we fell in love with you.

486
00:19:14,572 --> 00:19:16,159
And-and you already donated the egg!

487
00:19:16,184 --> 00:19:17,761
I mean, it's just sitting there on ice.

488
00:19:17,775 --> 00:19:19,875
All-all you have to
do is sign a release.

489
00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:22,375
Please, please, please
let us have the last one.

490
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,899
He needs it.

491
00:19:24,808 --> 00:19:26,508
Oh!

492
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:31,149
Mm!

493
00:19:31,622 --> 00:19:33,989
Oh, my God, I am so nervous.

494
00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,924
What if my swimmers are no good?

495
00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:37,763
What if I can never again climb

496
00:19:37,788 --> 00:19:39,954
the sacred mountain of fatherhood?

497
00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:42,718
Are you, like, even listening?

498
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:45,799
I got the yank bank on the horn.

499
00:19:45,824 --> 00:19:47,536
- Oh, God.
- They're on line four.

500
00:19:47,942 --> 00:19:49,371
Give 'em your cell, would ya?

501
00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:51,006
I don't like to vomit at work.

502
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,421
Thanks for the update.

503
00:19:55,347 --> 00:19:56,490
This is Mr. Whitefeather.

504
00:19:57,028 --> 00:19:58,359
What?

505
00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,792
Yes?

506
00:19:59,817 --> 00:20:02,104
Oh, is it bad? Are they slow?

507
00:20:02,129 --> 00:20:04,186
Are they dead? Were there any?

508
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,730
Uh-huh.

509
00:20:08,258 --> 00:20:11,259
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

510
00:20:11,261 --> 00:20:12,561
? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh ?

511
00:20:12,563 --> 00:20:14,784
Oh, God, this is gonna be gross.

512
00:20:14,809 --> 00:20:16,442
? My sperm is nice and healthy ?

513
00:20:16,444 --> 00:20:18,411
? In terms of sperm, I'm wealthy ?

514
00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:20,413
? I'm like Warren Buffett,
I got so much of it ?

515
00:20:20,415 --> 00:20:22,248
? That's what the doctors tell me ?

516
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,250
? My point is in a nutshell ?

517
00:20:24,252 --> 00:20:26,119
? Each time I bust, I bust well ?

518
00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:28,187
? I got the quantity
and the quality ?

519
00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:30,056
? No IUD is stopping me ?

520
00:20:30,058 --> 00:20:31,991
? 'Cause my semen's
steaming like a demon ?

521
00:20:31,993 --> 00:20:33,893
? And all the
surrogates be screaming ?

522
00:20:33,895 --> 00:20:36,496
? Just give me some of that
premium grade baby batter ?

523
00:20:36,498 --> 00:20:37,764
? I never splatter ?

524
00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:41,167
? My sperm, my sperm is
no cause for concern ?

525
00:20:41,169 --> 00:20:45,838
? My sperm is healthy,
my sperm is healthy ?

526
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:47,273
? Aw, shucks, gee whiz ?

527
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:48,975
? I got the best sperm in the biz ?

528
00:20:48,977 --> 00:20:52,245
? My sperm is healthy,
my sperm is healthy ?

529
00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:53,613
My sperm is healthy.

530
00:20:53,615 --> 00:20:56,449
? ?

531
00:20:56,451 --> 00:20:58,785
Brad, you, too?

532
00:21:01,389 --> 00:21:03,189
? Even though I'm no teenager ?

533
00:21:03,191 --> 00:21:04,757
? My boys still throw a rager ?

534
00:21:04,759 --> 00:21:07,160
? They get bottle
service in every cervix ?

535
00:21:07,162 --> 00:21:08,594
? Blowin' eggs up like a pager ?

536
00:21:08,596 --> 00:21:10,596
? Every lady's gettin' fertilized ?

537
00:21:10,598 --> 00:21:12,632
? Got a diaphragm? It's
gettin' pulverized ?

538
00:21:12,634 --> 00:21:14,667
? My sperm shines
brighter than the sun ?

539
00:21:14,669 --> 00:21:16,502
? So wear special glasses
or avert your eyes ?

540
00:21:16,504 --> 00:21:18,671
? Give thanks, my tank's
not shooting blanks ?

541
00:21:18,673 --> 00:21:20,439
? I'm in a league of my
own just like Tom Hanks ?

542
00:21:20,441 --> 00:21:22,441
? Not a castaway but I blast away ?

543
00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:24,343
? That thing I do
is inseminate you ?

544
00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,245
? With my sperm, my sperm ?

545
00:21:26,247 --> 00:21:27,513
? The tests have all confirmed ?

546
00:21:27,515 --> 00:21:29,615
? His sperm is healthy ?

547
00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:32,084
? His sperm is healthy ?

548
00:21:32,086 --> 00:21:33,853
? Aw, shucks, gee whiz ?

549
00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:35,621
? My sperm just aced the quiz ?

550
00:21:35,623 --> 00:21:37,123
? My sperm is healthy ?

551
00:21:37,125 --> 00:21:39,225
? My sperm is healthy... ?

552
00:21:39,227 --> 00:21:40,927
My sperm is healthy.

553
00:21:41,448 --> 00:21:42,962
Congratulations.

554
00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:44,430
Thank you.

555
00:21:53,018 --> 00:21:55,151
Well, they look very cozy.

556
00:21:55,197 --> 00:21:57,330
Think we can rule out ride-share.

557
00:21:57,355 --> 00:21:58,688
Not necessarily.

558
00:21:58,690 --> 00:22:00,323
You know, I've actually
had some of my best dates

559
00:22:00,325 --> 00:22:01,370
when I was paying by the mile.

560
00:22:01,395 --> 00:22:03,526
Ugh, geez, I need a new sidekick.

561
00:22:03,528 --> 00:22:04,594
You make me so sad.

562
00:22:04,596 --> 00:22:06,195
Okay.

563
00:22:06,197 --> 00:22:08,144
Okay, who is that?

564
00:22:08,169 --> 00:22:09,679
Wow, that girl looks young
enough to be his daughter.

565
00:22:09,732 --> 00:22:11,331
Hey, old man.

566
00:22:13,538 --> 00:22:14,675
She is his daughter.

567
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:16,749
That's his mistress
and that's his daughter.

568
00:22:16,774 --> 00:22:18,941
Oh, my God. I mean, this is...

569
00:22:19,148 --> 00:22:21,982
I just uncovered years
of-of-of family secrets

570
00:22:21,984 --> 00:22:24,518
and pent-up anger
and-and-and secrets.

571
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:25,485
Did I say secrets?

572
00:22:25,487 --> 00:22:27,020
I think I said secrets. I mean,

573
00:22:27,022 --> 00:22:28,655
this is way better than
the little bits of love

574
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:31,491
I was gonna have to try to wring
out of his dried-up old dad.

575
00:22:31,493 --> 00:22:33,393
This is something so much better.

576
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:37,423
I-I-I got him a nice, juicy,
wonderful, little sister.

577
00:22:37,933 --> 00:22:40,433
Ah, I'm amazing.

578
00:22:40,435 --> 00:22:43,236
I... no, I don't think
you're seeing this

579
00:22:43,238 --> 00:22:45,238
the way people are gonna see it.

580
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:48,071
You have to tell Darryl
the donor said no.

581
00:22:48,103 --> 00:22:49,369
I will get to it.

582
00:22:49,371 --> 00:22:51,638
Will you ease up already, Fonzie?

583
00:22:51,663 --> 00:22:53,172
Topical reference. Good one.

584
00:22:53,174 --> 00:22:54,173
Good night.

585
00:22:54,339 --> 00:22:56,327
- Later.
- See you.

586
00:22:57,967 --> 00:22:59,712
Number 456H76.

587
00:23:00,064 --> 00:23:01,272
What are you doing here?

588
00:23:01,297 --> 00:23:02,656
I thought about it.

589
00:23:03,586 --> 00:23:05,553
- I'll do it.
- I'll call the bank

590
00:23:05,578 --> 00:23:08,321
- and tell them to release my last egg.
- Oh, thank God!

591
00:23:08,323 --> 00:23:09,514
There's just one thing I want

592
00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:10,785
- which is to...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

593
00:23:10,810 --> 00:23:12,301
We can talk about details
later, but right now,

594
00:23:12,326 --> 00:23:14,502
I am gonna run upstairs
and tell Darryl it is on.

595
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:16,427
Thank you! Thank you so much!

596
00:23:22,604 --> 00:23:24,270
Mmm.

597
00:23:27,649 --> 00:23:28,686
Mmm.

598
00:23:29,131 --> 00:23:31,904
It is so cute how you do that.

599
00:23:32,108 --> 00:23:34,408
- Eat food?
- Yes.

600
00:23:34,410 --> 00:23:36,210
Mm.

601
00:23:37,447 --> 00:23:40,781
You know, I keep thinking
about the sad thing

602
00:23:40,783 --> 00:23:42,483
that we were talking
about the other day,

603
00:23:42,485 --> 00:23:44,285
about how you were lonely as a kid.

604
00:23:44,287 --> 00:23:46,620
I just keep picturing
you in footie pajamas,

605
00:23:46,622 --> 00:23:49,190
sitting on Santa's lap...

606
00:23:49,192 --> 00:23:52,226
being all sad and lonely.

607
00:23:52,525 --> 00:23:54,399
But when you were
sitting on Santa's lap,

608
00:23:54,424 --> 00:23:56,564
like, what did you wish for?

609
00:23:56,566 --> 00:24:00,301
- Did you ask for a puppy or a kitty...
- Hmm.

610
00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:01,846
Or a little brother or sister?

611
00:24:01,871 --> 00:24:03,738
- That's what you asked for, right?
- Uh, no.

612
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:05,673
I mostly asked for treasury bonds.

613
00:24:05,675 --> 00:24:11,018
Okay. But, but if you had had
a little brother or sister,

614
00:24:11,096 --> 00:24:13,014
that would've made you so happy, right?

615
00:24:13,588 --> 00:24:15,716
Yeah, I guess.

616
00:24:15,776 --> 00:24:18,386
- Hmm, might've been fun.
- Yeah?

617
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,522
- Let me get these out of the way.
- Okay.

618
00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:30,464
? Now that you're mine ?

619
00:24:30,466 --> 00:24:33,501
? I will take good
care of you, ooh, ooh ?

620
00:24:33,503 --> 00:24:35,703
? Baby ?

621
00:24:35,705 --> 00:24:38,839
? Life wouldn't be worth ?

622
00:24:38,841 --> 00:24:41,442
? Living ?

623
00:24:41,444 --> 00:24:43,644
? As I do here ?

624
00:24:43,646 --> 00:24:47,481
? Every day ?

625
00:24:47,483 --> 00:24:51,519
? I love you in a precious way ?

626
00:24:51,521 --> 00:24:55,022
? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

627
00:24:55,024 --> 00:24:57,691
? Ooh ?

628
00:24:57,693 --> 00:25:01,395
? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. ?

629
00:25:03,510 --> 00:25:04,776
Oh, no.

630
00:25:04,943 --> 00:25:07,771
You're still doing karaoke videos?

631
00:25:07,959 --> 00:25:10,526
You've been up all night, sweetie.

632
00:25:11,107 --> 00:25:13,328
You haven't even packed your closet.

633
00:25:13,353 --> 00:25:15,987
I know, I'm just, I'm getting nostalgic.

634
00:25:16,012 --> 00:25:18,479
The times in my life when I
sang along to these songs...

635
00:25:18,481 --> 00:25:21,849
I mean... those moments are all gone.

636
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:25,313
Okay, Josh.

637
00:25:26,098 --> 00:25:27,665
I understand what you're going through.

638
00:25:27,690 --> 00:25:28,852
Really, I do.

639
00:25:28,892 --> 00:25:31,453
But it's time to have
a little conversation.

640
00:25:32,228 --> 00:25:33,761
Oh.

641
00:25:36,966 --> 00:25:38,899
? ?

642
00:25:41,938 --> 00:25:45,206
? ?

643
00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:49,577
? My son, my beautiful child ?

644
00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:51,879
? You brought me joy ?

645
00:25:51,881 --> 00:25:54,915
? You've made me smile ?

646
00:25:54,917 --> 00:25:56,851
? But now that you're grown ?

647
00:25:56,853 --> 00:25:59,253
? And you're a man ?

648
00:25:59,255 --> 00:26:01,589
? Why are you still here? ?

649
00:26:01,591 --> 00:26:03,657
? I don't understand ?

650
00:26:06,162 --> 00:26:11,098
? It's time to get your
ass out of my house ?

651
00:26:11,968 --> 00:26:14,135
? I don't care where you go ?

652
00:26:14,137 --> 00:26:16,203
? I just want you to know ?

653
00:26:16,205 --> 00:26:20,608
? You've got to get your
ass out of my house ?

654
00:26:21,958 --> 00:26:23,611
? Seriously ?

655
00:26:23,613 --> 00:26:27,414
? Why do you still live with me? ?

656
00:26:27,416 --> 00:26:29,316
? Year after year ?

657
00:26:29,318 --> 00:26:31,385
? You're always here ?

658
00:26:31,387 --> 00:26:33,454
? So let me be clear ?

659
00:26:33,456 --> 00:26:36,590
? I want you to disappear ?

660
00:26:36,592 --> 00:26:39,426
? Just in case you had any doubt ?

661
00:26:39,428 --> 00:26:43,330
? It's time to get your ass out... ?

662
00:26:43,332 --> 00:26:45,332
Okay, I get it.

663
00:26:45,334 --> 00:26:47,201
I should've packed up the closet.

664
00:26:47,203 --> 00:26:48,636
You're right. You're totally right.

665
00:26:48,638 --> 00:26:50,738
I'm... you don't have to keep singing.

666
00:26:50,740 --> 00:26:53,541
? My son, perhaps that was mean ?

667
00:26:53,543 --> 00:26:55,943
? But I think you should know ?

668
00:26:55,945 --> 00:26:58,111
? How frustrated I've been ?

669
00:26:58,421 --> 00:27:01,048
? That Dad and I can't have sex... ?

670
00:27:01,050 --> 00:27:01,756
Ew.

671
00:27:01,781 --> 00:27:03,717
- ? As loud as we want ?
- Uh...

672
00:27:03,719 --> 00:27:08,455
? So follow along with
this highlighted font ?

673
00:27:08,457 --> 00:27:10,324
? And please just ?

674
00:27:10,326 --> 00:27:12,693
? Get your ass out of my house ?

675
00:27:14,555 --> 00:27:16,751
- ? 'Cause I'm not in the mood ?
- _

676
00:27:16,775 --> 00:27:18,907
? to keep on buying your food ?

677
00:27:18,935 --> 00:27:23,173
? Good God, just get
your ass out of my house ?

678
00:27:23,706 --> 00:27:25,806
? My church friends
think it's a shame ?

679
00:27:25,808 --> 00:27:28,829
? They say my son is so lame... ?

680
00:27:28,854 --> 00:27:30,711
What's up with the random rowboats?

681
00:27:30,713 --> 00:27:33,547
? You can sleep in the park ?

682
00:27:33,549 --> 00:27:36,550
? You can sleep on a bus ?

683
00:27:36,552 --> 00:27:38,319
? You can live anywhere ?

684
00:27:38,321 --> 00:27:40,621
? As long as it's not with us ?

685
00:27:40,623 --> 00:27:44,825
? Thanks to your feet, this
house smells like sauerkraut ?

686
00:27:44,827 --> 00:27:47,328
? So, my dear child ?

687
00:27:47,330 --> 00:27:52,233
? Get your ass out. ?

688
00:28:00,046 --> 00:28:02,975
Everyone, get used to speaking softly,

689
00:28:02,999 --> 00:28:04,583
hand-sanitizing constantly

690
00:28:04,608 --> 00:28:07,662
and never bringing uncut
grapes to the office again.

691
00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,588
There's gonna be a baby in here.

692
00:28:11,891 --> 00:28:13,858
My God, tell me everything.

693
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,593
Oh, Paula, I am so excited.

694
00:28:15,595 --> 00:28:17,361
They're putting my hot sauce
on the eggs this morning,

695
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,563
and the surrogate is on call

696
00:28:19,565 --> 00:28:21,365
and as soon as the
embryo starts to divide,

697
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:22,667
they can implant it.

698
00:28:22,669 --> 00:28:25,002
Oh, that's so great.

699
00:28:28,341 --> 00:28:29,740
Would you excuse me for a minute?

700
00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:32,009
- Sure.
- Okay.

701
00:28:34,202 --> 00:28:35,246
Hi.

702
00:28:35,248 --> 00:28:36,414
What's this text about money?

703
00:28:36,416 --> 00:28:37,548
He already paid you.

704
00:28:37,550 --> 00:28:39,316
Yeah, but not enough.

705
00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:41,185
You left before I could
finish the other day.

706
00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,220
Yes, I gave you my egg,

707
00:28:43,222 --> 00:28:44,622
but I had terms.

708
00:28:44,624 --> 00:28:46,857
You see, the way you approached
me was a bit unorthodox

709
00:28:46,859 --> 00:28:48,392
and I would hate for
the police to find out

710
00:28:48,394 --> 00:28:51,429
that you violated my
anonymity and stalked me.

711
00:28:51,431 --> 00:28:52,930
That would be a bummer.

712
00:28:52,932 --> 00:28:54,165
- What?
- So, I'd like to be paid

713
00:28:54,167 --> 00:28:55,199
in monthly installments

714
00:28:55,201 --> 00:28:56,600
for the rest of the baby's life.

715
00:28:56,602 --> 00:28:57,802
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

716
00:28:57,804 --> 00:28:59,470
Wait.

717
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,238
You're blackmailing me?!

718
00:29:01,703 --> 00:29:03,418
And you're a smoker.

719
00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:05,643
Yeah.

720
00:29:05,645 --> 00:29:07,311
But you checked "no smoking."

721
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:08,726
Yeah.

722
00:29:09,082 --> 00:29:10,981
Oh, my God, you're a horrible person.

723
00:29:11,385 --> 00:29:14,268
I can't believe I picked
you out of a catalog.

724
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,154
If you were a sweater,
I would send you back,

725
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,489
or at least put you in
the front hall closet

726
00:29:18,491 --> 00:29:21,358
for six months while I
intend to send you back.

727
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,027
Whatever. You're stuck with me.

728
00:29:23,029 --> 00:29:25,650
Your friend's making a
baby with me right now.

729
00:29:25,947 --> 00:29:27,580
No. Not on my watch.

730
00:29:27,582 --> 00:29:30,812
I am, I am stopping this right now.

731
00:29:30,837 --> 00:29:33,604
Thank you for calling the
San Fernando Egg Donor Center.

732
00:29:33,606 --> 00:29:35,639
Hi. Stop. Hold the baby presses.

733
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:38,067
Just-just don't fertilize.
Don't do it. Just keep

734
00:29:38,092 --> 00:29:39,810
- the huevos out of the rancheros.
- We're closed for the day.

735
00:29:39,812 --> 00:29:41,378
Hello? Hello? Please
leave your name and number

736
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:43,614
after the beep and we will get
back to you... Wait. H... no.

737
00:29:43,616 --> 00:29:46,317
During our normal business
hours. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

738
00:29:50,556 --> 00:29:52,013
So what are we doing here?

739
00:29:52,038 --> 00:29:54,326
Why are we meeting a client in his dump?

740
00:29:54,351 --> 00:29:56,360
I am so sorry. I lied to you.

741
00:29:56,362 --> 00:29:58,496
There is no client. She made me do it.

742
00:29:58,498 --> 00:30:00,498
I tried to stop her, but I-I couldn't.

743
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:02,466
It's Rebecca. She is a train

744
00:30:02,468 --> 00:30:03,834
and you can't get off. And you're trying

745
00:30:03,836 --> 00:30:05,302
to pull the brake, but
the next thing you know,

746
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:06,537
you're shoveling more
coal into the engine.

747
00:30:06,539 --> 00:30:07,805
I don't know how trains work.

748
00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:10,141
I am so sorry that I hit your car.

749
00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:12,610
Uh, but a dozen donuts is
the least that I can do.

750
00:30:12,612 --> 00:30:14,044
Ugh, I don't want a dozen donuts.

751
00:30:14,046 --> 00:30:15,579
I want your insurance information.

752
00:30:15,581 --> 00:30:17,548
I've been asking you for
that for half an hour.

753
00:30:17,962 --> 00:30:19,250
Rebecca.

754
00:30:19,744 --> 00:30:21,564
What's-what's happening here?

755
00:30:21,566 --> 00:30:22,864
A surprise.

756
00:30:22,889 --> 00:30:24,439
An impish ruse, but
for the best of reasons.

757
00:30:24,464 --> 00:30:26,791
Wait, what's going on here?

758
00:30:26,793 --> 00:30:28,759
Did you hit my car on purpose?

759
00:30:28,761 --> 00:30:29,798
Hold on.

760
00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:31,172
Y-You hit her car?

761
00:30:31,197 --> 00:30:32,830
Yes, yes, yes, but for
all the right reasons.

762
00:30:32,832 --> 00:30:34,999
Nathaniel...

763
00:30:35,094 --> 00:30:36,627
meet your sister.

764
00:30:43,290 --> 00:30:45,702
That's right, Nathaniel.
This is your sister,

765
00:30:45,727 --> 00:30:47,890
sired by your father
and his secret whore.

766
00:30:47,915 --> 00:30:49,581
I know this would be a shock at first.

767
00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:54,152
Whoa, whoa. Whore? And... sister?

768
00:30:54,154 --> 00:30:55,487
What's happening?

769
00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:57,155
And Nathaniel, what
are you even doing here?

770
00:30:57,157 --> 00:30:58,156
You don't eat donuts.

771
00:30:58,158 --> 00:30:59,825
Uh... Sorry, you know him?

772
00:30:59,850 --> 00:31:02,127
- You know your secret sibling?
- Okay, so, I'm gonna run away.

773
00:31:02,129 --> 00:31:03,670
- You're not going anywhere.
- Yeah.

774
00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,069
But how do you two know each other?

775
00:31:05,085 --> 00:31:08,412
Her mom was my dad's
secretary for years, Janice.

776
00:31:08,437 --> 00:31:10,370
Okay, right, and they're
having an affair.

777
00:31:10,654 --> 00:31:14,247
No. My mom worked
for Mr. P. Sr. for 30 years,

778
00:31:14,272 --> 00:31:16,472
so he pays for my tuition
and once in a while,

779
00:31:16,474 --> 00:31:17,706
we invite him over to lunch.

780
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,241
Wait... why all the secrecy?

781
00:31:19,243 --> 00:31:20,676
Why does he pretend to play golf?

782
00:31:20,678 --> 00:31:22,244
He has 150 employees.

783
00:31:22,246 --> 00:31:24,234
You think he wants to
pay hundreds of tuitions?

784
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,695
Wait a minute.

785
00:31:25,697 --> 00:31:28,194
How do you know he
pretends to play golf?

786
00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:31,020
Um, uh...

787
00:31:32,187 --> 00:31:34,172
Okay, I think we need to have a talk.

788
00:31:40,035 --> 00:31:44,400
Oh... you did it, honey.

789
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:46,001
Don't you feel so much better?

790
00:31:46,026 --> 00:31:47,840
No, I feel terrible.

791
00:31:48,205 --> 00:31:50,539
And you're being so mean lately.

792
00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:54,710
Joshy, what's really going on with you?

793
00:31:55,546 --> 00:31:57,313
I don't know.

794
00:31:57,315 --> 00:32:00,149
My whole life, I-I knew
what I was gonna do,

795
00:32:00,151 --> 00:32:01,518
who I was gonna be.

796
00:32:02,453 --> 00:32:04,687
Get a comfortable job, marry Valencia,

797
00:32:04,689 --> 00:32:06,522
see you guys every weekend,

798
00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:07,690
coach Little League,

799
00:32:07,692 --> 00:32:10,059
go to church, hang out with my friends,

800
00:32:10,061 --> 00:32:11,560
own a shave ice machine...

801
00:32:11,562 --> 00:32:14,712
But none of it makes sense anymore.

802
00:32:15,513 --> 00:32:16,976
I don't want those things now.

803
00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:19,294
I know, growing up is hard.

804
00:32:19,319 --> 00:32:22,180
I've been trying to remember
when it stopped making sense.

805
00:32:22,516 --> 00:32:24,573
I... I moved back from New York,

806
00:32:24,575 --> 00:32:25,774
I tried to settle back in,

807
00:32:25,776 --> 00:32:27,776
but things were not right
between me and Valencia

808
00:32:27,778 --> 00:32:29,812
because I started
spending time with Rebecca.

809
00:32:29,814 --> 00:32:31,547
And that job at Aloha,

810
00:32:31,549 --> 00:32:34,603
Rebecca also got for me
because she believed in me.

811
00:32:35,173 --> 00:32:39,621
And then V and I split up,
also because of Rebecca.

812
00:32:40,433 --> 00:32:41,892
When you think about it,

813
00:32:42,506 --> 00:32:44,639
Rebecca's everywhere.

814
00:32:48,466 --> 00:32:50,364
She changed me.

815
00:32:51,895 --> 00:32:54,470
Made me think my life
could be different.

816
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:55,817
I could be special.

817
00:33:00,177 --> 00:33:02,718
My God, she ruined me.

818
00:33:03,447 --> 00:33:05,047
I spent my whole life in flip-flops

819
00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:07,116
and she made me want closed-toed shoes.

820
00:33:07,752 --> 00:33:09,685
I can't go back to my old life.

821
00:33:09,687 --> 00:33:11,457
I-I got to find a new life!

822
00:33:12,957 --> 00:33:15,024
- Hey, Mom!
- Oh.

823
00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:16,658
Sorry.

824
00:33:16,660 --> 00:33:19,028
Those are not real problems.

825
00:33:20,564 --> 00:33:21,730
God, I hope it's a girl.

826
00:33:21,732 --> 00:33:24,893
I want to name her Daphnila or Sefarine.

827
00:33:24,987 --> 00:33:26,579
Yeah, not names.

828
00:33:26,604 --> 00:33:27,736
What's the matter with you?

829
00:33:28,585 --> 00:33:30,785
Why aren't you more excited?

830
00:33:31,108 --> 00:33:32,987
This baby was Frankensteined by you.

831
00:33:33,012 --> 00:33:34,243
Yeah, no, it is.

832
00:33:34,245 --> 00:33:36,179
I-I-I know.

833
00:33:36,204 --> 00:33:37,403
What?

834
00:33:37,548 --> 00:33:38,624
What's wrong?

835
00:33:39,710 --> 00:33:41,383
There are a couple of little details

836
00:33:41,385 --> 00:33:44,386
that I neglected to tell you.

837
00:33:44,388 --> 00:33:46,588
Oh. Oh.

838
00:33:46,945 --> 00:33:47,756
Yes?

839
00:33:47,758 --> 00:33:49,525
Hello, Dr. Ellerbe.

840
00:33:49,590 --> 00:33:50,922
Yes?

841
00:33:52,484 --> 00:33:53,729
Yes!

842
00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:55,397
I'm gonna be a daddy?!

843
00:33:55,399 --> 00:33:57,492
Oh, God, no.

844
00:33:57,517 --> 00:33:59,234
Oh, the fertilization didn't take.

845
00:33:59,236 --> 00:34:00,936
Thank God!

846
00:34:00,938 --> 00:34:01,837
What? It didn't work?

847
00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:02,971
But... Oh, no, no, no.

848
00:34:02,973 --> 00:34:06,675
Darryl, number 456H76
was a blackmailing,

849
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:08,110
secret smoking bitch.

850
00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:09,912
And I know that because
I tracked her down

851
00:34:09,914 --> 00:34:11,947
and I gave her all
this blackmail leverage.

852
00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:13,849
And I can't believe I did that.

853
00:34:13,851 --> 00:34:15,851
Oh, God, I'm so out of practice.

854
00:34:15,853 --> 00:34:16,952
So sloppy.

855
00:34:16,954 --> 00:34:18,320
? ?

856
00:34:18,619 --> 00:34:20,386
So nothing happened?

857
00:34:22,297 --> 00:34:23,872
There's no baby?

858
00:34:26,170 --> 00:34:28,082
Oh, no, honey.

859
00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:32,301
Not this time.

860
00:34:32,918 --> 00:34:35,437
But this is a good thing.

861
00:34:35,439 --> 00:34:37,239
I promise. And next time,

862
00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:39,675
we're gonna get somebody so much better.

863
00:34:39,677 --> 00:34:41,202
Yeah.

864
00:34:41,627 --> 00:34:43,526
Okay, in another year.

865
00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:46,389
A year?

866
00:34:46,414 --> 00:34:49,318
Paula, it is really
expensive to buy those huevos.

867
00:34:49,616 --> 00:34:52,083
I can only do it, like, once a year.

868
00:34:52,623 --> 00:34:54,209
Oh, my God.

869
00:34:58,762 --> 00:35:00,714
I'm so sorry.

870
00:35:01,132 --> 00:35:04,933
Oh...

871
00:35:08,612 --> 00:35:11,198
I have to stop interfering
in people's lives.

872
00:35:12,659 --> 00:35:14,753
I do it when I'm unhappy,
I do it when I'm happy,

873
00:35:14,778 --> 00:35:18,222
and either way, it never works out.

874
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:20,115
Uh, doy.

875
00:35:20,117 --> 00:35:21,816
I deserve that.

876
00:35:33,097 --> 00:35:34,496
So...

877
00:35:34,498 --> 00:35:36,785
you said you wanted to talk,
but you haven't said anything.

878
00:35:39,638 --> 00:35:41,436
- I'm still processing.
- Okay.

879
00:35:41,438 --> 00:35:42,437
Okay, that's healthy.

880
00:35:42,439 --> 00:35:43,906
Um...

881
00:35:44,402 --> 00:35:47,732
I will just, uh, I'll wait here

882
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:49,616
and eat until you're ready.

883
00:35:50,898 --> 00:35:53,165
- Thank you.
- Great.

884
00:35:58,155 --> 00:35:59,521
Oh, God, just tell me.

885
00:35:59,523 --> 00:36:00,802
Do you forgive me?

886
00:36:01,123 --> 00:36:01,989
Are you gonna forgive me?

887
00:36:02,014 --> 00:36:03,762
Please don't break up with me.

888
00:36:08,318 --> 00:36:10,598
Just tell me, okay? Just
rip the Band-Aid off.

889
00:36:10,623 --> 00:36:12,153
Are you gonna break up with
me? You're breaking up with me.

890
00:36:12,178 --> 00:36:13,832
But are you? Are you
gonna break up with me?

891
00:36:13,857 --> 00:36:15,957
Rebecca, what you did was absolutely...

892
00:36:15,959 --> 00:36:17,058
It was over the top.

893
00:36:17,060 --> 00:36:18,760
Inexcusable. I-I know.

894
00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:19,669
But...

895
00:36:20,797 --> 00:36:22,044
you were trying to help.

896
00:36:22,092 --> 00:36:25,279
Yes. Yes, I was, I really was.

897
00:36:25,304 --> 00:36:29,013
The thing is, you and
I are really... different.

898
00:36:33,637 --> 00:36:35,363
But that's part of
what I like about you.

899
00:36:37,007 --> 00:36:39,949
And I feel closer to you than
I have to basically anyone.

900
00:36:40,177 --> 00:36:44,780
You make me feel like I could
be a different... kind of person,

901
00:36:44,805 --> 00:36:46,925
a person who expresses their feelings

902
00:36:46,950 --> 00:36:50,385
and-and cries at movies and...

903
00:36:50,387 --> 00:36:52,421
makes eye contact with homeless people.

904
00:36:53,328 --> 00:36:55,151
So you're gonna forgive me?

905
00:36:56,386 --> 00:36:57,451
Yeah, I think I will.

906
00:36:57,594 --> 00:37:00,495
But you have to promise...

907
00:37:00,497 --> 00:37:02,503
never to do anything
like that ever again.

908
00:37:02,528 --> 00:37:03,839
I promise.

909
00:37:04,442 --> 00:37:05,741
I swear.

910
00:37:06,103 --> 00:37:07,436
Come here.

911
00:37:09,339 --> 00:37:10,549
This table's really long.
I'm just gonna...

912
00:37:10,574 --> 00:37:11,259
Very long.

913
00:37:11,284 --> 00:37:12,507
I'm just gonna come
over there. Come on over.

914
00:37:12,509 --> 00:37:14,109
I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna

915
00:37:14,111 --> 00:37:15,277
scoot over here.

916
00:37:15,279 --> 00:37:16,318
Oh, hi.

917
00:37:17,247 --> 00:37:18,904
Whew! So...

918
00:37:18,929 --> 00:37:20,615
whew! I got away with it.

919
00:37:20,617 --> 00:37:22,551
- Mm-hmm.
- That was the wrong choice of words.

920
00:37:22,553 --> 00:37:23,618
I mean, we worked it out.

921
00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:24,586
Mm-hmm.

922
00:37:24,588 --> 00:37:25,451
Okay, I hear you.

923
00:37:25,453 --> 00:37:27,266
And what I did was not the best idea.

924
00:37:27,291 --> 00:37:28,256
Mm-hmm.

925
00:37:28,258 --> 00:37:29,524
But it came from caring and affection.

926
00:37:29,526 --> 00:37:30,759
It wasn't about obsession.

927
00:37:30,761 --> 00:37:31,993
No, what I did

928
00:37:31,995 --> 00:37:33,662
was selfless and kind. It was too kind.

929
00:37:33,664 --> 00:37:36,331
- Rebecca...
- I like this guy, okay?

930
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:38,600
I like him a lot.

931
00:37:38,679 --> 00:37:41,120
I like him so much and
I want to be with him.

932
00:37:41,754 --> 00:37:43,505
So, what, I can never
have a great relationship

933
00:37:43,507 --> 00:37:44,806
because I have borderline
personality disorder,

934
00:37:44,808 --> 00:37:46,007
is that what you're saying?

935
00:37:46,009 --> 00:37:47,042
Not at all.

936
00:37:47,044 --> 00:37:48,477
But doesn't it feel like

937
00:37:48,479 --> 00:37:50,011
you're repeating some old patterns?

938
00:37:50,164 --> 00:37:52,481
Your patterns with Josh, perhaps?

939
00:37:52,483 --> 00:37:53,882
Uh,
J-J-Josh?

940
00:37:53,884 --> 00:37:55,383
No, no, no. No, no, no.

941
00:37:55,385 --> 00:37:56,752
The way I am with Nathaniel

942
00:37:56,754 --> 00:37:58,787
is nothing like the way I was with Josh.

943
00:37:58,789 --> 00:38:00,155
I just want to make
Nathaniel a better person,

944
00:38:00,157 --> 00:38:01,189
and I want to make him

945
00:38:01,191 --> 00:38:02,357
happy all the time and I want

946
00:38:02,359 --> 00:38:03,692
to get to know everything about him

947
00:38:03,694 --> 00:38:05,393
and I want to get to
know everyone in his life

948
00:38:05,395 --> 00:38:06,895
and I want to have that feeling

949
00:38:06,897 --> 00:38:08,997
that you get when you
really get to know someone

950
00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:11,567
and it feels like glitter
is exploding inside of you.

951
00:38:12,069 --> 00:38:14,402
Ah... Oh...

952
00:38:14,404 --> 00:38:16,104
Mm-hmm.

953
00:38:18,879 --> 00:38:22,444
Okay. I've been thinking
about ways to raise money.

954
00:38:22,446 --> 00:38:24,446
Here they are, rapid-fire:
Bake sale, car wash,

955
00:38:24,448 --> 00:38:26,248
lap dances in the office... Here me out.

956
00:38:26,250 --> 00:38:27,616
Not a lot of people know this,

957
00:38:27,618 --> 00:38:29,885
but Mrs. Hernandez has a rack on her...

958
00:38:31,722 --> 00:38:33,021
What the hell happened in here?

959
00:38:33,023 --> 00:38:33,992
I sold it.

960
00:38:34,424 --> 00:38:35,824
I sold all of it.

961
00:38:35,826 --> 00:38:37,192
Jackalope...

962
00:38:37,194 --> 00:38:38,860
I know. I know.

963
00:38:38,862 --> 00:38:40,756
People wanted to buy that junk?

964
00:38:40,781 --> 00:38:41,814
Most of it, no.

965
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,675
I mean, I did have
one piece of turquoise

966
00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:44,866
that turned out to be real.

967
00:38:44,868 --> 00:38:46,001
And then the rest

968
00:38:46,003 --> 00:38:48,203
I just sold to stupid hipsters

969
00:38:48,205 --> 00:38:49,738
at the Melrose flea market.

970
00:38:50,029 --> 00:38:53,060
I want to try again
right away; I don't want to wait.

971
00:38:53,085 --> 00:38:54,810
I am ready for this baby.

972
00:38:54,812 --> 00:38:56,278
Well, that's great, Darryl.

973
00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,480
And I promise, this time
I will stay out of it.

974
00:38:58,482 --> 00:38:59,748
Oh, no, please don't.

975
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,124
Me and Tasmyline...

976
00:39:01,608 --> 00:39:03,151
we need you, Auntie Paula.

977
00:39:03,153 --> 00:39:05,854
Auntie Paula? Oh...

978
00:39:05,856 --> 00:39:09,291
- Oh, I like the way that sounds.
- I know. Me, too.

979
00:39:09,293 --> 00:39:11,359
But I don't like the
way Tasmyline sounds,

980
00:39:11,361 --> 00:39:13,588
so that is a hard, hard no on that.

981
00:39:13,613 --> 00:39:15,007
What about Shatonka?

982
00:39:15,032 --> 00:39:15,764
Uh...

983
00:39:15,789 --> 00:39:18,356
It means "lady truck."

984
00:39:26,643 --> 00:39:27,876
I ran into Josh.

985
00:39:27,878 --> 00:39:28,944
He made me feel warm inside,

986
00:39:28,946 --> 00:39:30,345
like glitter was exploding inside me.

987
00:39:30,347 --> 00:39:33,181
? ?

988
00:39:52,736 --> 00:39:53,935
Hey.

989
00:39:54,771 --> 00:39:56,357
Hey...

990
00:39:57,357 --> 00:39:59,107
Can I talk to you for a second?

991
00:39:59,109 --> 00:40:01,643
Okay. Sure, come on in.

992
00:40:01,645 --> 00:40:04,246
I, um...

993
00:40:04,271 --> 00:40:06,310
uh, came over to see you because...

994
00:40:07,802 --> 00:40:09,284
there's something I never said.

995
00:40:09,286 --> 00:40:10,418
Oh, God, Josh...

996
00:40:10,420 --> 00:40:11,887
Look, if you're here to say sorry,

997
00:40:11,889 --> 00:40:13,054
there's really no need.

998
00:40:13,056 --> 00:40:14,823
Like... it's fine, stuff happens.

999
00:40:14,825 --> 00:40:16,708
No, not sorry.

1000
00:40:17,728 --> 00:40:19,127
Thank you.

1001
00:40:19,129 --> 00:40:21,326
Wh... What?

1002
00:40:21,351 --> 00:40:23,943
Before I met you, I set the bar

1003
00:40:23,968 --> 00:40:27,369
so low for myself.

1004
00:40:27,470 --> 00:40:29,003
But you freed me from that.

1005
00:40:29,763 --> 00:40:31,474
Whatever my future holds,

1006
00:40:31,499 --> 00:40:34,109
it's different from
what I planned and...

1007
00:40:36,188 --> 00:40:38,255
that's because of you.

1008
00:40:38,882 --> 00:40:40,123
Wow.

1009
00:40:40,148 --> 00:40:44,506
Now I'm, uh, learning to
break out of my patterns.

1010
00:40:45,789 --> 00:40:47,188
Well, Josh, thank you for coming here

1011
00:40:47,190 --> 00:40:49,324
and saying all these things.

1012
00:40:49,608 --> 00:40:51,036
This must have been hard.

1013
00:40:51,061 --> 00:40:52,209
It was.

1014
00:40:53,563 --> 00:40:56,164
And, um, you know, the truth is,

1015
00:40:56,166 --> 00:40:58,133
I'm a bit of a coward.

1016
00:40:58,464 --> 00:41:00,145
And I'm not great at
doing the hard thing,

1017
00:41:00,170 --> 00:41:02,237
even when I know it's right.

1018
00:41:03,144 --> 00:41:05,774
God, doing the right thing,
is there anything worse?

1019
00:41:06,191 --> 00:41:06,994
But...

1020
00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:10,222
there comes a time when...

1021
00:41:10,247 --> 00:41:11,972
it's what you have to.

1022
00:41:14,285 --> 00:41:17,452
Hey, Josh, not to be rude, but
there's something I need to do,

1023
00:41:17,454 --> 00:41:19,820
so can you get your ass out of my house?

1024
00:41:20,857 --> 00:41:22,057
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1025
00:41:22,058 --> 00:41:23,047
Thanks.

1026
00:41:29,199 --> 00:41:31,441
- Hi.
- Hi.

1027
00:41:36,659 --> 00:41:37,872
Rebecca, what's wrong?

1028
00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:40,526
Nathaniel, I, uh...

1029
00:41:40,890 --> 00:41:42,790
I have to do something
I've never done before.

1030
00:41:43,714 --> 00:41:45,113
What?

1031
00:41:46,995 --> 00:41:50,745
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