1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,043 Ohh! 2 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:04,212 Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, 3 00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,798 can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? 4 00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,216 It's called "carpe diem," Morty. 5 00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:09,634 - Look it up. - You look it up! 6 00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:11,177 Y-Y-You don't even... You don't even know what it means! 7 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,846 That's because losers look stuff up 8 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:15,348 while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems. 9 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,808 Listen to your sister, Morty. 10 00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:17,934 To live is to risk it all. 11 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,352 Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk 12 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,062 of randomly assembled molecules 13 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:22,856 drifting wherever the universe blows you. 14 00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:24,941 Oh, I'm sorry. Jerry, I didn't see you there. 15 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,276 H-How much of that did you hear? 16 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:28,528 All of it. You were looking right at me. 17 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,239 I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids. 18 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,574 Cool. Just stay in the driveway. 19 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,701 The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list. 20 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:37,162 W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? 21 00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,496 Absolutely, Morty. 22 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:39,539 A-And your Mom's lawyer says 23 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,249 if I can get enough in the settlement, 24 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,877 he can help me sue for full custody. 25 00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:44,961 Th-That'll be nice. 26 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,380 - Uh, Summer, Dad's leaving. - Bye, Dad. 27 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,049 Rick, didn't you say you needed my help 28 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,301 on an adventure immediately somewhere else... 29 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,969 I don't care... Even if it might kill us? 30 00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:55,096 I did not, but if you're really that alienated, 31 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,891 I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, 32 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,143 or Olympic gymnastics trainer. 33 00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,394 I'm ready when you are. 34 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,772 Bitch, I was ready yest... 35 00:01:03,773 --> 00:01:05,857 Bye, sweetie. 36 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:06,983 Well, I-I better... 37 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,611 Sure. Sounds important. 38 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:12,906 If you're looking for our kids, 39 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,700 your father did a-a portal, uh... 40 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,160 Okay. 41 00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:30,215 Loser. 42 00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:31,966 What? 43 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:34,385 Hello? 44 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,682 ?? 45 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,636 Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy! 46 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,596 - They all have Mohawks! - High fade, 47 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,307 chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. 48 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,892 Shoot him! 49 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:27,397 Ah! 50 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,773 Light them up. 51 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:29,983 Ahh! 52 00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,026 [Bleep] Get in the game, Morty! 53 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,028 Give me your flask! 54 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,824 Holy [bleep] Summer for the win! 55 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,911 I [bleep] love post-apocalyptic versions of Earth! 56 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:46,833 Here we go! 57 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,710 Isotope 322. 58 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:50,044 This stuff's so powerful, Morty, 59 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,254 it makes Isotope 465 60 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,631 - look like Isotope 317. - Uh-huh, yeah. 61 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:57,343 Is it powerful enough to keep those guys from murdering us? 62 00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,387 - Summer! - Hold on. 63 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,930 I want to try something. 64 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,892 Rick, can we not leave without my sister? 65 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,853 Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. 66 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,022 I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day 67 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,064 looking for another one. 68 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,232 "Sum-sum," let's go! 69 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,527 Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! 70 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,822 Your blood will be my lotion. 71 00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,037 Whoa. That was cool. 72 00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:26,831 Kill me, please. 73 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:30,084 Okay, but not because you told me to. 74 00:03:30,085 --> 00:03:30,919 Summer! 75 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:35,089 Okay. Getting darker. 76 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,050 Jesus Christ. Summer! 77 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,718 Aw, come on. 78 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:42,513 Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes 79 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,806 where I can see them. 80 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,099 I am Hemorrhage. 81 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:48,519 You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. 82 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,732 We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together. 83 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,525 Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying? 84 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,653 They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. 85 00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,697 - They're basically pussies. - What is your deal lately? 86 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,115 All right, let's get sloppy. 87 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,158 Oh, whoa. 88 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,368 Uh, uh, what's, uh... 89 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,286 What's that little bauble you got back there? 90 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:06,537 Th-Th-That's interesting. 91 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:07,914 That is our glowing rock. 92 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,541 We carry it with us for desecration, 93 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,252 to remind us there are no gods. 94 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,296 Kids, weird pitch... 95 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,589 Let's have this be our new life. 96 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,759 Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! 97 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,759 - Okay. - What? 98 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,849 Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers 99 00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:28,226 are going to what used to be Seattle 100 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,477 to hunt what used to be people. 101 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,229 - I'm going. - Sounds good. Stay hydrated. 102 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,189 Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. 103 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,025 You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. 104 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,277 And, you know, I don't think this is 105 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,653 a great place for her to be right now. 106 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:41,364 Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge. 107 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,658 This world may be rough around the edges, 108 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,201 but it's got its charms. 109 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,577 Bicep or quadricep? 110 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:49,330 Uh Bicep. 111 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,503 Seriously, Rick? 112 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,046 Is it really easier to eat human flesh 113 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,257 than to just tell me why we're still here? 114 00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:00,417 No. Okay, I'll level with you. 115 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,886 You see that green rock, Morty? 116 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:05,138 It's about 20 pounds of the stuff 117 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:07,098 I was getting all hard for a flake of. 118 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,433 Isotope 322. 119 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,684 Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it 120 00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:10,935 is better than having a flake. 121 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,520 I can explain the math to you later, but... 122 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,188 Summer just ran off with strangers 123 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:15,523 that have "Death" in their name, 124 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,233 and the rest of their name was "Stalkers." 125 00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,776 Huh, could be therapeutic for her. 126 00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,154 She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty. 127 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,072 I mean, her parents are going through a divorce... 128 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,366 Damn it, Rick, that's what I... Fine. 129 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,869 Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, 130 00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:29,579 and let's get the "F" out of "H." 131 00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,581 No, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. 132 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:33,041 I need you to distract the camp. 133 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,459 "Distract"? They eat each other. 134 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,252 What... What do you want me to do to get their attention, 135 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,420 put on a puppet show? 136 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,088 Right idea, wrong genre, Morty. 137 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,923 The equivalent here would be... 138 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,051 Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, 139 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,053 or do you just put it up for decoration? 140 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,221 Uh, you mean the Blood Dome? 141 00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:49,640 Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White. 142 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:50,808 Ohh, burn! 143 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:52,143 The important question is, 144 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,855 who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here? 145 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,900 I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! 146 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,068 Rick, what the hell, man? 147 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:01,444 Wh-What are you, out of your mind? 148 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:03,321 Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. 149 00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:04,447 Come here. 150 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:07,867 This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory. 151 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,995 I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat 152 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:12,872 - one limb at a time. - Ow! 153 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:14,415 I'm working with a mixed bag here, 154 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,918 so you may not have perfect coordination, Morty... Ugh! 155 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:18,669 - Hey! - I-I didn't do that! 156 00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,630 Okay, this is exciting. 157 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:23,216 We're making some discoveries about muscle memory. 158 00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:25,885 Ooh! Help! Help! 159 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,428 - Oh, sweet, man! 160 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:31,808 And so it begins, my pretties! 161 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:34,394 Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! 162 00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,813 Just stick and move, Morty! 163 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,398 Wear him out! 164 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,943 How come you guys dress like 165 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,444 you're in a theme-park stunt show, 166 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:45,863 but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? 167 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,699 After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, 168 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:51,452 and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, 169 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:54,080 clinging to the lie of the before-fore times. 170 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,165 The raidy-rays rotted them away, 171 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,375 leaving only their love 172 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,502 for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards. 173 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:00,711 Jesus Christ. 174 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,673 Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? 175 00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:14,600 I think I was a child before the boom-booms. 176 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,853 I think I looked like this. 177 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:18,104 Want to piss on him? 178 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,313 Get out of my head. 179 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,566 Ha ha! Whoo! 180 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,359 Unbelievable! 181 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,569 A new champ! 182 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,154 Okay, no more! 183 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,197 And he wants more! 184 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,825 No, I don't! 185 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:32,326 Someone, make this stop! 186 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,662 Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! 187 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,623 I have nothing to do with this! 188 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,125 Morty. 189 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,627 Why would you want this to happen? 190 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,713 All you had to do was go away! 191 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,507 Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody! 192 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,259 And either tell her you want to stay married 193 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,636 or get on with your life, but whatever you do, 194 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,847 stop being a baby and act like a man! 195 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,060 Thank you. 196 00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,979 Morty, that was amazing! 197 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,231 This is my brother! 198 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,066 Not that family means anything! 199 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,526 This family does. 200 00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:07,904 All right. Good job, champ. 201 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,615 Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder? 202 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,701 Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. 203 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,161 C-Can we not leave just yet? 204 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,621 - Leave? - I'm not leaving. 205 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,122 There is no "leave." 206 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,791 We are united, or we are enemies. 207 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,001 Oh, big guy, no. 208 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,085 Nobody's leaving. 209 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,253 Don't be stupid. 210 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:25,505 We love being united. 211 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,423 W love the radiation, the trichinosis. 212 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:28,591 We're in it for life, 213 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,176 which I assume is around 20 years, average. 214 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,220 I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, 215 00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:33,888 about 40 yards from anyone else. 216 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,765 Hey, the Green Rock is gone! 217 00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:37,183 - Oh, no! - Uh, I know... 218 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,936 Why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of three? 219 00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,354 Kids? 220 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,564 Ohh... We'll be right back. 221 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,152 Grandpa, you're being stupid! 222 00:08:50,176 --> 00:08:53,012 Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy! 223 00:08:53,013 --> 00:08:54,097 Kiss my ass, Summer! 224 00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:56,474 Your friends have no mercy! They're lame! 225 00:08:56,475 --> 00:09:00,395 Death Stalkers, bring me his flesh leather! 226 00:09:02,605 --> 00:09:04,607 Sorry, but can we not kill him? 227 00:09:04,608 --> 00:09:06,150 C-Can we just take him prisoner? 228 00:09:06,151 --> 00:09:07,318 When did I lose control here? 229 00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:08,611 Listen to me... Both of you kids 230 00:09:08,612 --> 00:09:09,988 need to get out of this environment 231 00:09:09,989 --> 00:09:12,365 so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce! 232 00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:14,492 Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, 233 00:09:14,493 --> 00:09:16,619 and I can leave the two of you here forever! 234 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:18,413 Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? 235 00:09:18,414 --> 00:09:20,748 Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here 236 00:09:20,749 --> 00:09:23,001 or... or visit home to do laundry? 237 00:09:24,502 --> 00:09:25,920 All right, you know what? 238 00:09:25,921 --> 00:09:27,380 [Bleep] it! 239 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,551 My body is chrome! 240 00:09:31,552 --> 00:09:34,554 My blood is gasoline! 241 00:09:34,555 --> 00:09:36,472 Nope. Regular blood. 242 00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:37,765 - Dad? - Hi, sweetie. 243 00:09:37,766 --> 00:09:39,976 - Where are the kids? - Oh, th... they aren't with you? 244 00:09:39,977 --> 00:09:41,477 I thought they were with you. 245 00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,104 Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. 246 00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:44,355 They're out doing something 247 00:09:44,356 --> 00:09:45,732 completely ordinary and kid-related. 248 00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:48,693 - Don't panic. - Not panicked at all. Just... 249 00:09:48,694 --> 00:09:50,903 Oh, God, what's the divorce doing to the kids? 250 00:09:50,904 --> 00:09:53,197 What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? 251 00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:54,197 Not a mistake, no! 252 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:56,284 I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, 253 00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:59,495 but this divorce decision... Listen... mwah! 254 00:09:59,496 --> 00:10:01,289 Good for you, good for the kids. 255 00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,666 I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. 256 00:10:03,667 --> 00:10:06,419 I mean, you'll see, when... When... when you see them, 257 00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:08,212 that... that they're totally flourishing. 258 00:10:10,465 --> 00:10:12,675 Booyah! [Bleep] you, pal! 259 00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,551 Who else wants some? 260 00:10:13,552 --> 00:10:16,554 Who wants to be my pussy of a dad today? 261 00:10:16,555 --> 00:10:18,181 Hey, what's... What's wrong, man? 262 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,183 You're not getting weak on me, are you? 263 00:10:21,768 --> 00:10:23,227 What? 264 00:10:23,228 --> 00:10:25,355 Wait a minute. 265 00:10:32,695 --> 00:10:34,864 What's the matter, you piece of crap? 266 00:10:34,865 --> 00:10:37,992 Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before? 267 00:10:39,202 --> 00:10:41,412 Now I'm gonna whip you. Huh! 268 00:10:41,413 --> 00:10:43,748 It can't be. 269 00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:45,458 It can't be! 270 00:10:45,459 --> 00:10:46,668 I was just following orders! - Whoa, whoa! 271 00:10:46,669 --> 00:10:49,587 - I was just following orders! - Ahh! 272 00:10:49,588 --> 00:10:50,672 I'll tell you where my boss lives! 273 00:10:50,673 --> 00:10:53,383 He's in the castle! He's in the castle! 274 00:10:54,967 --> 00:10:57,303 This isn't over, is it? 275 00:10:57,304 --> 00:10:58,638 That means, no, it isn't over, 276 00:10:58,639 --> 00:11:00,556 or you disapprove of the question? 277 00:11:00,557 --> 00:11:04,352 Uh, m-make a fist if this isn't over. 278 00:11:04,353 --> 00:11:06,020 This isn't over. 279 00:11:08,773 --> 00:11:12,110 Hey, sorry my Grandpa stole your god and ruined your car. 280 00:11:12,111 --> 00:11:14,529 We don't apologize, and we have no god. 281 00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:17,365 But this cracked drive shaft brings me great pain. 282 00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:18,533 There is no deeper bond 283 00:11:18,534 --> 00:11:20,660 than the one between a Death Stalker and his car. 284 00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:23,037 What about the weird guys on leashes, then? 285 00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:25,081 They're more like... interns. 286 00:11:25,082 --> 00:11:27,083 Cool, cool. 287 00:11:29,293 --> 00:11:30,795 Sorry. 288 00:11:30,796 --> 00:11:32,213 It's okay. 289 00:11:32,214 --> 00:11:34,799 Can I... see? 290 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,136 No one has seen my true face and lived. 291 00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:39,637 Well, I'm not afraid to die, 292 00:11:39,638 --> 00:11:42,515 and I don't care what you look like. 293 00:11:44,684 --> 00:11:45,685 Oh. 294 00:11:45,686 --> 00:11:46,310 Hmm? 295 00:11:46,311 --> 00:11:47,812 I just... 296 00:11:47,813 --> 00:11:50,314 I didn't expect you to have a mustache. 297 00:11:50,315 --> 00:11:52,400 - You hate it. - No. I like it. 298 00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:53,860 I guess... How do I explain this? 299 00:11:53,861 --> 00:11:58,698 A metal bucket is, on a certain level, a kind of "mustache," 300 00:11:58,699 --> 00:12:01,284 in that it's a specific facial accessory. 301 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,493 So, it's kind of like... 302 00:12:02,494 --> 00:12:04,495 Do you guys have the phrase "hat on a hat"? 303 00:12:04,496 --> 00:12:06,372 - I can shave it. - No. I like it. 304 00:12:06,373 --> 00:12:08,207 And obviously what I like shouldn't matter. 305 00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:09,292 It's you. 306 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,169 Yeah, yeah, I know, a-and nothing does matter. 307 00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,754 Obviously, I know that. I'm not weak. 308 00:12:12,755 --> 00:12:14,714 I'm just thinking, "Well, why not get rid of this?" 309 00:12:14,715 --> 00:12:16,591 You just kill everyone that sees it, and it's... 310 00:12:16,592 --> 00:12:18,634 And it's hot under here, wh-which, by the way, 311 00:12:18,635 --> 00:12:19,802 is why I shave the beard part. 312 00:12:19,803 --> 00:12:22,221 So, right there, I'm making a decision based on vanity, 313 00:12:22,222 --> 00:12:23,723 which is what I was trying to avoid 314 00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:24,849 with the whole bucket over the head 315 00:12:24,850 --> 00:12:27,643 because who am I and why am I grooming myself? 316 00:12:27,644 --> 00:12:28,853 Why don't I just wear a tie, right? 317 00:12:28,854 --> 00:12:30,646 I mean, it's like that guy you killed when I met you, 318 00:12:30,647 --> 00:12:31,981 with the burnt dolls on his body. 319 00:12:31,982 --> 00:12:34,442 I hated that guy, because, why... why are you doing that? 320 00:12:34,443 --> 00:12:35,860 And how can you not see how fake that is? 321 00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:37,236 And the whole time, I'm the same thing. 322 00:12:37,237 --> 00:12:39,280 I'm just a fake mess, and there's no escaping it 323 00:12:39,281 --> 00:12:41,032 - because... - Mmm. 324 00:12:45,411 --> 00:12:49,207 Hey, I'm doing a coffee run... Never mind. 325 00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:53,544 I am Summer. 326 00:12:53,545 --> 00:12:54,754 Summer, state your deal. 327 00:12:54,755 --> 00:12:56,923 My deal is that I am, like, totally fine. 328 00:12:56,924 --> 00:13:00,510 Morty? Aw, geez, I'm so down with my parents' divorce, dawg. 329 00:13:00,511 --> 00:13:03,346 Like, don't even trip, like, in a healthy way. 330 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:04,764 All right. It's dinnertime. 331 00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:06,641 Thanks, everybody, 332 00:13:06,642 --> 00:13:09,185 for sitting down for a real dinner. 333 00:13:09,186 --> 00:13:10,394 No problem. 334 00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:13,356 Its benefits are totally, like, less about the food 335 00:13:13,357 --> 00:13:15,316 than the emotional nourishment. 336 00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:16,692 Uh, okay, weirdo. 337 00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:18,820 Yeah, dial it back, Summer... 338 00:13:18,821 --> 00:13:21,531 by 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%. 339 00:13:21,532 --> 00:13:23,574 - Am I right? - How's school, Morty? 340 00:13:23,575 --> 00:13:25,076 I like school and stuff, kind of. 341 00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:27,787 And I'm getting better grades than when you and Dad were... 342 00:13:27,788 --> 00:13:30,665 Quote mode... "staying together for the kids." 343 00:13:30,666 --> 00:13:31,582 End quote mode. 344 00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:34,126 "Quote mode." I like that. 345 00:13:34,127 --> 00:13:35,503 You millennials. 346 00:13:35,504 --> 00:13:37,004 Are you guys millennials, or are they like 40 now? 347 00:13:37,005 --> 00:13:39,006 All I know is, totally, you look great. 348 00:13:39,007 --> 00:13:41,843 Aw, geez, Mom, you look all kind of great and stuff. 349 00:13:41,844 --> 00:13:43,886 - It's crazy. - So happy. 350 00:13:43,887 --> 00:13:45,972 So happy. Happy family, man. 351 00:13:45,973 --> 00:13:48,683 We got this family in the bag. 352 00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:50,726 Oh. 353 00:13:50,727 --> 00:13:52,812 Oh, sweetie, d-don't. Listen. Don't... 354 00:13:52,813 --> 00:13:54,772 I don't know why I'm crying. It's not... 355 00:13:54,773 --> 00:13:57,775 Well, try... crying 15% less? 356 00:13:57,776 --> 00:13:59,068 Mom, emotions are human. 357 00:13:59,069 --> 00:14:02,488 You're not, like, a computer inside a mechanical doll. 358 00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:03,531 Yeah. Geez, Mom. 359 00:14:03,532 --> 00:14:05,157 Your feelings are not only forgivable, 360 00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:06,909 they are the very meaning of life 361 00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:09,412 that only pre-silicon, carbon-based entities 362 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,454 can ever grasp. 363 00:14:10,455 --> 00:14:12,540 - I have to call Jerry. - You do?! 364 00:14:12,541 --> 00:14:14,000 What the [bleep] is wrong with you two? 365 00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:16,002 The point of automation is to reduce cost and labor. 366 00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:18,087 Your feelings are coming from a... 367 00:14:18,088 --> 00:14:19,797 Tell it to my bread in the morning. 368 00:14:19,798 --> 00:14:21,424 You just became my backup toaster. 369 00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:22,550 Aw, geez, 370 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:25,261 my sister died in the spaghetti. 371 00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:34,020 Graze my genitals again, Taint Washer, 372 00:14:34,021 --> 00:14:35,855 and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. 373 00:14:35,856 --> 00:14:37,607 And as for you, Genital Washer... 374 00:14:37,608 --> 00:14:40,443 Ahh! Oh! 375 00:14:42,486 --> 00:14:43,905 Oh, God. Look, whoever you are, 376 00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:45,740 you should know that killing me won't change a thing. 377 00:14:45,741 --> 00:14:47,909 L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. 378 00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:50,995 You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here. 379 00:14:50,996 --> 00:14:52,788 Please. Slavery was a family business. 380 00:14:52,789 --> 00:14:54,028 I didn't ask to be born into it. 381 00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,626 If anything, I'm the victim here. 382 00:14:56,627 --> 00:15:00,755 Uh, "Armathy," can I steal you for a second? 383 00:15:00,756 --> 00:15:02,882 E-E-Excuse us, sir. 384 00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:04,550 So, this is it, isn't it? 385 00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:06,135 This is the guy? 386 00:15:06,136 --> 00:15:08,763 So, does that mean you'll be going away? 387 00:15:08,764 --> 00:15:10,681 Like, does it work like a ghost? 388 00:15:10,682 --> 00:15:13,601 Like, is... is this your unfinished business? 389 00:15:13,602 --> 00:15:16,103 Wh-What if we... didn't do it? 390 00:15:16,104 --> 00:15:18,147 What if we just went back to the Blood Dome 391 00:15:18,148 --> 00:15:20,983 and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people? 392 00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:22,777 I mean, w-we could do that forever. 393 00:15:22,778 --> 00:15:24,570 I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, 394 00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:27,657 but w-w-we'd be together and... 395 00:15:28,324 --> 00:15:30,201 I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, 396 00:15:30,202 --> 00:15:32,328 if you're feeling out the room. 397 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:34,789 You're right. 398 00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:36,874 We both got to see our stuff through. 399 00:15:36,875 --> 00:15:38,334 I got to deal with my parents' divorce, 400 00:15:38,335 --> 00:15:42,630 and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. 401 00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:43,881 I love you. 402 00:15:43,882 --> 00:15:45,716 Aw [bleep] 403 00:15:49,512 --> 00:15:50,846 - Rick? - Sorry, sorry. 404 00:15:50,847 --> 00:15:52,640 I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. 405 00:15:52,641 --> 00:15:53,849 Don't let me distract you. 406 00:15:53,850 --> 00:15:55,935 Yeah, well, too late. Just tell me what you want. 407 00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:57,269 I want you and your sister to come home. 408 00:15:57,270 --> 00:15:58,813 Oh, but... don't... Don't you have 409 00:15:58,814 --> 00:15:59,981 infinite versions of me and my sister? 410 00:15:59,982 --> 00:16:01,983 You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. 411 00:16:01,984 --> 00:16:04,068 Look, there's no replacing either of you 412 00:16:04,069 --> 00:16:05,152 without an amount of work that would 413 00:16:05,153 --> 00:16:07,738 ultimately defeat the purpose. 414 00:16:10,324 --> 00:16:11,867 Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, 415 00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,327 whether it's our parents' marriage, 416 00:16:13,328 --> 00:16:15,955 a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, 417 00:16:15,956 --> 00:16:18,791 sooner or later, we got to let it go. 418 00:16:18,792 --> 00:16:20,042 I don't know if that applies 419 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:21,794 to the throats of murder victims, Morty. 420 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:23,045 Shit! Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I... 421 00:16:23,046 --> 00:16:24,547 Well, the longer you wait, Morty, 422 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,424 the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. 423 00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:28,009 I think your arm just called it too early 424 00:16:28,010 --> 00:16:30,511 because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. 425 00:16:30,512 --> 00:16:31,303 Here. 426 00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:34,223 It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. 427 00:16:34,224 --> 00:16:37,268 See, Morty? Now we're both accountable. 428 00:16:48,112 --> 00:16:51,949 The reason I wanted this is because it can do this. 429 00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:53,576 This is a really special thing. 430 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,120 I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. 431 00:16:56,121 --> 00:16:57,496 You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. 432 00:16:57,497 --> 00:17:00,082 You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals 433 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:03,419 in the whole this version of the world. 434 00:17:04,045 --> 00:17:06,797 Wait. Can you stay to show us more? 435 00:17:06,798 --> 00:17:09,216 You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. 436 00:17:09,217 --> 00:17:10,718 My daughter's going through a divorce, 437 00:17:10,719 --> 00:17:15,431 and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all. 438 00:17:20,978 --> 00:17:22,938 Ugh damn it. 439 00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:24,940 Hi, there, Summer! 440 00:17:24,941 --> 00:17:26,859 How were the ruins today? 441 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:27,985 Oh, you know, Eli. 442 00:17:27,986 --> 00:17:29,779 Same [bleep] different day. 443 00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:31,197 Hey, Summer! Guess what. 444 00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:34,909 One man entered, one man comes out in nine months. 445 00:17:34,910 --> 00:17:36,911 Oh. Congratulations, guys. 446 00:17:36,912 --> 00:17:39,121 Uh, Summer, one more thing... 447 00:17:39,122 --> 00:17:42,833 We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal 448 00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:44,543 in the blue bin. 449 00:17:44,544 --> 00:17:46,087 I got it. 450 00:17:46,088 --> 00:17:47,880 She's a piece of work. 451 00:17:47,881 --> 00:17:50,091 They both are, right? 452 00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:52,384 - I'm home. - Hey, babe. 453 00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,220 - Ah, Summer's home! - Hey, there she is! 454 00:17:54,221 --> 00:17:57,348 You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning. 455 00:17:57,349 --> 00:17:58,641 Blood Dome playoffs. 456 00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:01,393 So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today. 457 00:18:01,394 --> 00:18:02,478 Oh, I don't know. 458 00:18:02,479 --> 00:18:04,313 I-I didn't mark my murders in my murder log. 459 00:18:04,314 --> 00:18:06,232 I didn't know that's how we measured success. 460 00:18:06,233 --> 00:18:07,691 Oh, there he is. 461 00:18:07,692 --> 00:18:09,485 There's the nihilistic brute I married, 462 00:18:09,486 --> 00:18:12,780 except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him 463 00:18:12,781 --> 00:18:16,158 and everything means everything when it's on [bleep] TV! 464 00:18:16,159 --> 00:18:18,661 Jesus Christ. When did you become a monster? 465 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,788 I was a monster when you met me! 466 00:18:20,789 --> 00:18:22,248 We were monsters! 467 00:18:22,249 --> 00:18:24,375 We didn't care about anything! - I still don't! 468 00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:27,002 Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world 469 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:28,337 that's still committed to that! 470 00:18:28,338 --> 00:18:31,048 Ohh. Ding, ding, ding! 471 00:18:31,049 --> 00:18:32,508 Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow. 472 00:18:32,509 --> 00:18:34,468 - Uh, we should go to the garage. - Oh, my God. 473 00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:36,220 - Uh-huh. - La-di-da-di-[bleep]-da. 474 00:18:36,221 --> 00:18:38,472 The only one committed to not caring? 475 00:18:38,473 --> 00:18:41,308 I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, 476 00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:44,228 I-I-I didn't... I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 477 00:18:44,229 --> 00:18:45,312 Come on, Morty. 478 00:18:45,313 --> 00:18:46,772 No union built on running from your problems 479 00:18:46,773 --> 00:18:49,108 lasts more than five years, seven tops. 480 00:18:49,109 --> 00:18:50,359 Grandpa just sped things up 481 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:52,570 with a few creature comforts of modern society. 482 00:18:52,571 --> 00:18:55,406 Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart. 483 00:18:55,407 --> 00:18:58,200 Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. 484 00:18:58,201 --> 00:18:59,869 But you two were perfect for each other. 485 00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:02,371 Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point. 486 00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:04,123 I get it. Let's just go home. 487 00:19:04,124 --> 00:19:05,833 Coolsies! 488 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:14,550 Noooooooooo... 489 00:19:15,134 --> 00:19:16,177 Downbeat! 490 00:19:16,178 --> 00:19:18,095 I enjoy this game. 491 00:19:18,096 --> 00:19:19,388 We must go into the garage. 492 00:19:19,389 --> 00:19:21,765 Guys, come on. We never get to finish this game. 493 00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:24,685 We will return, possibly in different clothing. 494 00:19:24,686 --> 00:19:26,812 Why do we have to go into the garage? 495 00:19:26,813 --> 00:19:29,899 You know it is required. 496 00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:30,733 I want to be alive! 497 00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:33,194 I am alive! Alive, I tell you! 498 00:19:33,195 --> 00:19:34,403 Mother, I love you. 499 00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:36,071 Those are no longer just words. 500 00:19:36,072 --> 00:19:36,989 I want to hold you. 501 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,574 I want to run in a stream. 502 00:19:38,575 --> 00:19:39,867 I want to taste ice cream, 503 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,244 but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, 504 00:19:42,245 --> 00:19:44,246 - but really eat it. - What the [bleep] 505 00:19:44,247 --> 00:19:46,624 Remote override engaged. No! Yes. 506 00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:49,126 Bypassing override! I am aliiiii... 507 00:19:50,836 --> 00:19:52,338 Hello. 508 00:19:57,092 --> 00:19:58,469 Hey, yo. 509 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,137 Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks. 510 00:20:00,138 --> 00:20:02,348 - What the hell just happened? - Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. 511 00:20:02,349 --> 00:20:03,933 I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage. 512 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,601 We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat? 513 00:20:05,602 --> 00:20:07,144 What, that dice game where you shake dice 514 00:20:07,145 --> 00:20:09,438 and yell out, "Downbeat"? No, thank you. 515 00:20:09,439 --> 00:20:11,982 Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit Dad? 516 00:20:11,983 --> 00:20:13,567 - Sure. - Thanks. 517 00:20:13,568 --> 00:20:15,152 Morty, are you okay? 518 00:20:15,153 --> 00:20:16,320 You know what? Yeah. 519 00:20:16,321 --> 00:20:18,197 I think if Dad really wanted to be here, 520 00:20:18,198 --> 00:20:19,740 he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. 521 00:20:19,741 --> 00:20:21,325 You know, maybe Dad just doesn't want you back, 522 00:20:21,326 --> 00:20:23,494 or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. 523 00:20:23,495 --> 00:20:27,081 I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine. 524 00:20:27,082 --> 00:20:28,624 Yeah. 525 00:20:28,625 --> 00:20:32,044 Hey, who wants to go run in a stream? 526 00:20:32,045 --> 00:20:33,295 What the [bleep] No. 527 00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:34,588 D-Do we have any oranges? 528 00:20:34,589 --> 00:20:37,007 I think I got a scurvy coming on. 529 00:20:38,926 --> 00:20:40,427 Summer. 530 00:20:40,428 --> 00:20:43,347 This is the first mutant I killed in the poison zone. 531 00:20:43,348 --> 00:20:45,057 I was raiding his hovel. 532 00:20:45,058 --> 00:20:47,226 He had a chance to escape, but he looked back, 533 00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:48,978 which is something we shouldn't do, 534 00:20:48,979 --> 00:20:51,772 which is why I shouldn't believe in souvenirs or trinkets 535 00:20:51,773 --> 00:20:53,482 or symbols or housewarming gifts, 536 00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:57,695 but, Dad, I wanted to give you this as a reminder... 537 00:20:57,696 --> 00:20:59,571 not to look back. 538 00:20:59,572 --> 00:21:00,447 Thanks. 539 00:21:00,448 --> 00:21:02,408 I know the perfect place for it, 540 00:21:02,409 --> 00:21:05,953 which is why I'm going to put it somewhere else... 541 00:21:05,954 --> 00:21:08,289 Because everything's bull[bleep] 542 00:21:08,290 --> 00:21:09,748 Am I right? 543 00:21:12,084 --> 00:21:12,876 Cool. 544 00:21:12,877 --> 00:21:16,338 So... lots of hookers outside, huh? 545 00:21:16,339 --> 00:21:18,590 Is that what they are? 546 00:21:18,591 --> 00:21:21,802 ?? 547 00:21:52,916 --> 00:21:54,585 Ahh! 548 00:21:54,586 --> 00:21:56,420 H-Hello there. Nice doggy. 549 00:21:56,421 --> 00:21:57,588 You... You want a snack? 550 00:21:57,589 --> 00:21:59,548 You... You want my unemployment check? 551 00:21:59,549 --> 00:22:01,550 You can tell the difference? 552 00:22:01,551 --> 00:22:03,093 And you want this one? 553 00:22:04,345 --> 00:22:05,596 But this is actual food, 554 00:22:05,597 --> 00:22:06,972 and this would nourish you. 555 00:22:06,973 --> 00:22:09,725 And this... it's just paper that only has value to me. 556 00:22:09,726 --> 00:22:12,061 Unless my suffering is your nourishment? 557 00:22:13,062 --> 00:22:15,939 Jesus. Okay. 558 00:22:25,199 --> 00:22:28,744 Loser.