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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com

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_

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Did your new landlord give you
a reason for the eviction?

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No. A week after he bought the place,

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we saw an eviction notice on our door.

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Just us. No one else in our building.

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We're the only Muslims.

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Don't pack your bags yet.

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We'll send somebody in to investigate.

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Thank you.

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I don't want to pull
my kids out of school

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and everywhere else in the
neighborhood is so expensive.

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My brother, Michael, was
my age when he died.

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That was eight year ago.
He was a marine.

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And he was killed by an IED
in Afghanistan.

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He gave his life,
trying to make the world

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a better and safer place.

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His sacrifice inspired me to devote
my life to making a difference too,

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by ensuring that everyone,
regardless of race,

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religion, or gender,
has a safe place to live,

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which is why we're asking
you to vote to expand

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fair housing Laws to cover
even more people,

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like those military veterans and
those in the LGBT community.

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- What do you think?
- Oh.

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Maybe you should switch to decaf.

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Come on, John, I'm serious.

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So am I. You need to loosen up.

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You've gone over your speech
a hundred times,

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like I've got it memorized.

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I just want it to be perfect.

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Don't sweat it. And I mean
that in its literal form,

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like I can smell you from here.
It's so bad.

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The big shots are here.

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It's go time.

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Actually, John's going
to do the presentation.

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He says he's got it memorized.

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Lie, total lie. He's gonna crush it.
It's gonna be great.

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My brother, Michael,
was my age when he died.

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I'm gonna stop you
right there, Mr. uh...?

40
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Terrill. Ray Terrill.

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I'm afraid we have some bad news,
after some thoughtful consideration,

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we've decided to shut down
your department.

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Shut us down?

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I ran on a platform of tax cuts,

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and the money has to come
from somewhere.

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You can't close our whole department.

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People rely on us.

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Let's be honest.

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The communities you're talking
about, didn't vote for me.

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I'm focusing on the ones that did.

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Hey, whoa.

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You put that down too fast, it's
just gonna come right back up.

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So what?

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It's not like we have jobs
to go to tomorrow.

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At least you and Jenny put up a fight.

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I... I just stood there with
my mouth open, like an idiot.

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You weren't an idiot.

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And it's not like our bitching
accomplished anything, anyway.

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Some fights you just can't win.

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Case in point.

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I honestly don't know what's
more pathetic, though, like,

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your mom's use of emoji's or

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the fact that you're 22 and
still live with your parents.

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No, no, no, no.

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I have a winner. It's that you still
haven't come out to your family.

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Oh! We've been over this.

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And it never makes
any more sense, at all.

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You know how conservative
my parents are.

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I've got to go about it
in just the right way.

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Waiting until you've figured
out the perfect way,

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is just an excuse to procrastinate.

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You're becoming a procrastor-faker.

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You're procrastinating
and faking, it's not working.

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If I'm procrastinating,
it's for a good reason.

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They're still disappointed I didn't
go into the Military like Michael.

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Then why not just move out?

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When I find a new job that
let's me help people,

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- but pays the bills, I will.
- Then move to Sweden.

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We'll get you a Swiss Army knife,

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take you to Albert Einstein's
house, it will all work out.

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Not all of us have trust funds
from great grandparents

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who invented diet soda.

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You know I'm counting my blessings
every day, don't judge me.

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Yeah, speaking of, a...

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handsome stranger's been over there

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staring at you for the last 10 minutes.

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Ah, no.

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Oh, come on, just talk
to him, he's cute.

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I may not be gay
but I have eyes, like I'm...

90
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He's handsome, look at him.

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- Look at those eyes.
- No.

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I'll make weird squawking
noises if you don't,

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- okay?
- Please, not again.

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Loud, obnoxious,

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publicly embarrassing
squawking noises, if you don't.

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This is your moment.

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- Hi.
- Hello.

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Sorry, I just realized
that I forgot to park my car.

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Could you give me a minute?

100
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Dude! Really?

101
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Help yourself out right now.

102
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Everything looks great, Mom.

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Thank you, sweetie.

104
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Robert, dinner's ready.

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- Raymond.
- Dad.

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Dig in, while it's hot.

107
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How was work, kiddo?

108
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How's that pretty girl
you work with, doing?

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Jenny?

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Um, she's fine.

111
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She's just so lovely.

112
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Need to find you a girl like that.

113
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Actually,

114
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there's something you guys
need to know about me.

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I wasn't exactly planning
on telling you tonight,

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it's been a bit of a day and, uh...

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and I'm unemployed.

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You lost your job?

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They're shutting down our department.

120
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Oh, Ray.

121
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Well, maybe this is a blessing
in disguise.

122
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Maybe this is the push you needed
to get yourself a real job.

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You know, like when your brother
lost that football scholarship

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and decided to join the Marines.

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Well that was a total disaster.

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I don't even know what I was thinking.

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Who comes out to their
parents over meatloaf?

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John, I'm gonna have to call you back.

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Help. Help.

130
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Just hang on.

131
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Hang on, I'm calling 911.

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What the hell?

133
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What just happened?

134
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John, you think I could
swing by real quick?