1
00:00:02,367 --> 00:00:04,946
Years of crushing my family
in Pictionary will come in handy

2
00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,514
for this missing dog flyer.

3
00:00:06,538 --> 00:00:09,383
So, the kid said the dog
was like a dirty mop

4
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:12,744
with big pointy ears, one eye,
fur like a firework.

5
00:00:12,878 --> 00:00:13,955
Anything about the tail?

6
00:00:13,979 --> 00:00:15,912
Um, like a rat chewed it off.

7
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:18,092
Uh-huh, uh-huh, that's helpful.

8
00:00:18,116 --> 00:00:19,660
You know what else would be helpful?

9
00:00:19,684 --> 00:00:21,453
Breed, size, weight.

10
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,421
Okay. All right.

11
00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:27,235
Perfect. Put it on every
milk carton in America.

12
00:00:27,259 --> 00:00:29,137
Picked up a real freak at the park.

13
00:00:29,161 --> 00:00:32,873
Thought it was a crumpled-up
sweatshirt until he licked me.

14
00:00:36,201 --> 00:00:38,103
Ooh, Frank. Stay still.

15
00:00:38,403 --> 00:00:40,689
I wanna capture that look on your face.

16
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:11,483
CREDITS

17
00:01:13,839 --> 00:01:15,039
Emily to Frank.

18
00:01:15,073 --> 00:01:17,685
Just a gentle reminder that
Shred and I are waiting for you

19
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:20,912
to RSVP to our official
Couple's Launch Party.

20
00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:22,757
What the hell
is a couple's launch party?

21
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:25,126
You two aren't
a celebrity tequila brand.

22
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:26,885
Tequila is out, Grandpa.

23
00:01:27,018 --> 00:01:28,884
Sniffing markers is back in.

24
00:01:29,488 --> 00:01:30,388
It is.

25
00:01:30,422 --> 00:01:31,666
It's a housewarming party.

26
00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:34,268
Our first chance to co-host
as co-habitants.

27
00:01:34,292 --> 00:01:36,304
It's tone setting
for the entire relationship.

28
00:01:36,328 --> 00:01:38,897
And that tone is elevated fun.

29
00:01:39,030 --> 00:01:40,241
Tell 'em about the lasagna.

30
00:01:40,265 --> 00:01:41,642
I'm making lasagna!

31
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,911
And there's that sparkling
chemistry that Emily

32
00:01:43,935 --> 00:01:45,246
blew up her career for.

33
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,414
Guys, I'm a strong maybe.

34
00:01:46,438 --> 00:01:47,782
I'm going out with my cousin Rishi

35
00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:49,550
and his real estate friends tonight.

36
00:01:49,574 --> 00:01:50,852
What? You have to come.

37
00:01:50,876 --> 00:01:53,121
Party Shirt Patel is my favorite Patel.

38
00:01:53,145 --> 00:01:55,156
Rishi's thing is a booze cruise.

39
00:01:55,180 --> 00:01:56,724
It's going to be epic.

40
00:01:56,748 --> 00:01:58,526
And I promised myself one crazy story

41
00:01:58,550 --> 00:01:59,694
before Maya and the kids get back.

42
00:01:59,718 --> 00:02:03,321
I ate lasagna with coworkers
is a pretty dynamic story.

43
00:02:03,455 --> 00:02:06,153
I'm sorry, Patel, but you will
give us an hour and a half

44
00:02:06,178 --> 00:02:07,840
at the party, so I will see you there.

45
00:02:07,865 --> 00:02:09,403
Which brings us back to Frank.

46
00:02:09,427 --> 00:02:10,595
Can't talk.

47
00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:12,464
Getting pulled over.

48
00:02:12,597 --> 00:02:15,009
There actually really is
a cop behind this.

49
00:02:15,033 --> 00:02:16,001
Pull over.

50
00:02:16,134 --> 00:02:18,279
Just push your boobs together.
It works every time.

51
00:02:18,303 --> 00:02:19,814
Cops pulling over Animal Control.

52
00:02:19,838 --> 00:02:22,238
It's a good use of taxpayer dollars.

53
00:02:24,342 --> 00:02:25,286
What's the problem, Officer?

54
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:28,110
Yeah, I'm gonna have to cite
you for D.W.C.

55
00:02:28,213 --> 00:02:30,348
Driving While Chicken-less.

56
00:02:31,383 --> 00:02:33,227
See, this is why I wish I had a brother.

57
00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:34,328
Playful razzin'.

58
00:02:34,352 --> 00:02:36,063
Staging fake traffic stops as a joke.

59
00:02:36,087 --> 00:02:37,165
This is good stuff.

60
00:02:37,189 --> 00:02:38,590
Don't...

61
00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:44,095
Butter. Garlic.

62
00:02:44,229 --> 00:02:45,640
Years of accumulated chicken grease.

63
00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:47,608
You son of a bitch, you have Mom's pan.

64
00:02:47,632 --> 00:02:50,244
And you have her dainty feet,
so we're even.

65
00:02:50,268 --> 00:02:52,180
Ooh, I'm sensing some new familial lore.

66
00:02:52,204 --> 00:02:53,414
Come on, lay it on me, fellas.

67
00:02:53,438 --> 00:02:56,717
This pan has been seasoned by
hundreds of family dinners.

68
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,353
And you're not only eating
decades of built-up crust

69
00:02:59,377 --> 00:03:01,656
and chicken drippings,
you're eating history.

70
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,491
Okay, not for nothing,
when's the last time

71
00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:05,026
either of you boys had an angiogram?

72
00:03:05,050 --> 00:03:07,528
And there's no way
that Dad gave you that pan.

73
00:03:07,552 --> 00:03:10,131
He did give it to me
because I'm his favorite.

74
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:11,933
Single malt Scotch is his favorite.

75
00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:13,690
Okay. Enjoy the drumstick.

76
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,536
'Cause it's the last
succulent piece of Mom

77
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,138
you're ever gonna have.

78
00:03:17,162 --> 00:03:18,473
Oh, don't say that!

79
00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:19,607
Never say that.

80
00:03:19,631 --> 00:03:21,209
No, I'm gonna give you a citation,

81
00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:22,434
because I can.

82
00:03:24,102 --> 00:03:25,513
I just have to get a pen

83
00:03:25,537 --> 00:03:26,838
from my cop car.

84
00:03:27,305 --> 00:03:28,745
Don't go anywhere.

85
00:03:37,649 --> 00:03:40,194
Okay, control your mucking,
please. Yeah.

86
00:03:40,218 --> 00:03:43,164
So, are you going to Emily
and Shred's thing tonight?

87
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:44,122
Ooh.

88
00:03:44,322 --> 00:03:46,400
Were people talking about
their party in front of you?

89
00:03:46,424 --> 00:03:48,402
- That's rude.
- No, I'm invited.

90
00:03:48,426 --> 00:03:49,427
Right. Yeah.

91
00:03:49,561 --> 00:03:50,671
No, of course you would be.

92
00:03:50,695 --> 00:03:52,306
Yes, I will be there.

93
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:54,242
Good! Because you deserve a night off

94
00:03:54,266 --> 00:03:55,409
from raising that pig.

95
00:03:55,433 --> 00:03:57,278
Well, at least your eye bags do.

96
00:03:57,302 --> 00:03:59,013
That's so sweet. Thank you, Daisy.

97
00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:00,038
Oh, relax.

98
00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:01,415
It happens to all new moms.

99
00:04:01,439 --> 00:04:02,617
It happened to me, too.

100
00:04:02,641 --> 00:04:04,886
But you do tend to bounce back
quicker when you're young.

101
00:04:04,910 --> 00:04:05,810
Oh, do you?

102
00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:07,655
Yeah. So, what's the vibe like tonight?

103
00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:09,545
Like, should I bring a gift?

104
00:04:10,315 --> 00:04:11,435
you know what?

105
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:13,461
Emily is so weird about gifts.

106
00:04:13,485 --> 00:04:15,129
She's one of those people who's, like,

107
00:04:15,153 --> 00:04:17,286
"your presence is your present".

108
00:04:17,489 --> 00:04:18,849
And she means it.

109
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:19,934
Oh, that's nice.

110
00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:21,869
Well, I'm gonna make sure
my presence is perfect,

111
00:04:21,893 --> 00:04:23,538
and I gotta go get these nails done.

112
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:25,573
We literally have, like,
seven hours of work.

113
00:04:25,597 --> 00:04:27,277
You know what? I don't...

114
00:04:30,502 --> 00:04:31,803
Ooh!

115
00:04:31,937 --> 00:04:32,971
Okay...

116
00:04:33,505 --> 00:04:34,940
Lasagna...

117
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:37,084
is officially cooking.

118
00:04:37,108 --> 00:04:38,176
Yes, and...

119
00:04:38,510 --> 00:04:40,212
ice is officially cold.

120
00:04:40,345 --> 00:04:41,580
Whoo! Ooh...

121
00:04:42,013 --> 00:04:45,784
Oh, the place looks so darn good...

122
00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:48,920
- Right?
- Wow!

123
00:04:49,054 --> 00:04:50,198
Pretty sweet, huh?

124
00:04:50,222 --> 00:04:52,066
When you said I should get
something of my own in here,

125
00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:53,201
I knew just the thing.

126
00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:54,793
Yeah. S... so cool.

127
00:04:54,926 --> 00:04:57,605
I'm so glad it didn't get lost
in the move.

128
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:59,707
My favorite snowboarding bib? No way!

129
00:04:59,731 --> 00:05:02,043
I mean, this is my guts and my glory.

130
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:04,479
Yeah, I think I see your actual guts.

131
00:05:04,503 --> 00:05:06,436
Yeah, that's faceplant blood.

132
00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:09,674
Um... ooh! It's almost time.

133
00:05:09,808 --> 00:05:11,510
So, I need you on snacks.

134
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:13,187
Snacks are done, baby.

135
00:05:13,211 --> 00:05:14,146
Bam!

136
00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:15,656
- Look at that.
- Wow...

137
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,282
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

138
00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:19,918
You know what might be nicer is if

139
00:05:20,051 --> 00:05:23,088
we weren't serving anything in, uh...

140
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:25,157
its original packaging.

141
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,300
- Very classy.
- Mm-hmm.

142
00:05:26,324 --> 00:05:29,268
Now they'll think we baked
the chips ourselves.

143
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:30,996
At the Cool Ranch.

144
00:05:34,232 --> 00:05:35,376
People are here!

145
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:36,501
Ooh!

146
00:05:46,178 --> 00:05:47,179
What?

147
00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:49,378
- Dad, it's me.
- Make it quick.

148
00:05:49,447 --> 00:05:51,125
What are you,
in the middle of something?

149
00:05:51,149 --> 00:05:52,049
No.

150
00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:54,061
You gave Mom's cast iron pan to Patrick?

151
00:05:54,085 --> 00:05:56,397
I assume you did this
out of advanced senility?

152
00:05:56,421 --> 00:05:58,432
He wanted the pan, I gave him the pan.

153
00:05:58,456 --> 00:05:59,634
Look, those chicken dinners

154
00:05:59,658 --> 00:06:01,803
are some of my favorite
childhood memories.

155
00:06:01,827 --> 00:06:03,504
That and the time you were
in the hospital

156
00:06:03,528 --> 00:06:04,539
with the lung scare.

157
00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:05,540
What do you want?

158
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,408
I want you to get the pan
back from Patrick,

159
00:06:07,432 --> 00:06:08,709
and then die... sorry.

160
00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:10,411
I got lost in the fantasy.

161
00:06:10,435 --> 00:06:11,512
Just give me the pan!

162
00:06:11,536 --> 00:06:12,647
I owed it to him.

163
00:06:12,671 --> 00:06:14,804
He's the one who fixed my porch.

164
00:06:15,707 --> 00:06:17,985
Well, I hope, like your lung,
it collapses.

165
00:06:18,009 --> 00:06:20,875
Okay. I'll see you
for an hour at Christmas.

166
00:06:28,553 --> 00:06:30,798
Luckily, I had another run
after the crash,

167
00:06:30,822 --> 00:06:32,555
and I got a personal best.

168
00:06:32,624 --> 00:06:34,335
Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah. It's classic.

169
00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:35,303
It is classic.

170
00:06:35,327 --> 00:06:37,138
Okay, why do you keep
checking your watch?

171
00:06:37,162 --> 00:06:38,130
You just got here.

172
00:06:38,155 --> 00:06:39,140
Relax. I'm here. I'm present.

173
00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:41,876
There's nowhere I'd rather be
for the next 47 minutes.

174
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:44,233
You promised us an hour and a half.

175
00:06:45,103 --> 00:06:47,014
Frank's rollin' solo in the kitchen.

176
00:06:47,038 --> 00:06:49,150
I gotta go help the big dog
get out of his shell.

177
00:06:49,174 --> 00:06:50,075
All right.

178
00:06:53,512 --> 00:06:55,156
Will you excuse me? I'm just gonna...

179
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,860
fix a little situation.

180
00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,718
Hey.

181
00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:08,336
Oh, sorry! These are decorative.

182
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,171
You can get one from the fridge.

183
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:11,305
Thanks for coming.

184
00:07:11,329 --> 00:07:12,607
Hey, there he is.

185
00:07:12,631 --> 00:07:13,541
Welcome to my home.

186
00:07:13,565 --> 00:07:15,643
One step closer to that
Truck 12 sleepover

187
00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:16,744
I've always dreamed of.

188
00:07:16,768 --> 00:07:18,446
I only sleep over my hunting knife.

189
00:07:18,470 --> 00:07:20,515
Hey, just saying, if you overindulge,

190
00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:23,272
I can pull out
the air mattress for Emily.

191
00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:27,255
What's up, my P-Shaw dogs?

192
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:28,289
Uh, coming to you live.

193
00:07:28,313 --> 00:07:30,224
Um, I'm on a human trafficking stakeout,

194
00:07:30,248 --> 00:07:31,459
so I got a couple hours.

195
00:07:31,483 --> 00:07:34,762
But for those of you who have
been following my journey

196
00:07:34,786 --> 00:07:37,689
with my dear mom's cast iron pan.

197
00:07:39,658 --> 00:07:41,391
And the van pulled away...

198
00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:43,361
I gotta go.

199
00:07:43,495 --> 00:07:45,006
Uh, hold your family close.

200
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,496
Frank, if you're watching... suck it.

201
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,813
Just the man I was looking for.

202
00:07:51,837 --> 00:07:53,414
I need you for a special mission.

203
00:07:53,438 --> 00:07:55,483
I can't. I got my booze cruise.

204
00:07:55,507 --> 00:07:56,784
Cover me while I sneak out.

205
00:07:56,808 --> 00:07:58,252
Wait, you got here ten minutes ago.

206
00:07:58,276 --> 00:07:59,921
Don't ruin my Irish Goodbye.

207
00:07:59,945 --> 00:08:01,422
Wait, you think this party sucks?

208
00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:02,790
Shut up! What do you want?

209
00:08:02,814 --> 00:08:04,292
I need you to sneak into
my brother's condo

210
00:08:04,316 --> 00:08:06,527
under the cover of darkness,
reclaim a family heirloom,

211
00:08:06,551 --> 00:08:07,662
and disappear without a trace.

212
00:08:07,686 --> 00:08:10,286
Fine. But now everyone's looking at us.

213
00:08:14,693 --> 00:08:17,359
Hey, friend.
Will you give this to Shred?

214
00:08:20,432 --> 00:08:22,200
In three, two...

215
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:23,435
Oh, boy!

216
00:08:23,568 --> 00:08:24,812
Clean up on aisle Shred.

217
00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:27,439
I am covered.

218
00:08:29,808 --> 00:08:31,219
Patrick's on patrol, so...

219
00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:32,854
he's either asleep on a steering wheel,

220
00:08:32,878 --> 00:08:34,989
or fishing his gun
out of a gas station toilet.

221
00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:37,058
Let's just find the pan
and we're out of here.

222
00:08:37,082 --> 00:08:38,693
Seems like you really
don't need me here.

223
00:08:38,717 --> 00:08:40,528
We're 30 minutes from anchors away.

224
00:08:40,552 --> 00:08:41,963
This is a two-man job.

225
00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:44,022
Check out those cabinets.

226
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:50,195
What the hell?

227
00:08:53,331 --> 00:08:55,233
Ah... just as I suspected.

228
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,444
Booby trapped.

229
00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:57,879
Patrick knew I was coming.

230
00:08:57,903 --> 00:08:59,447
So you sacrificed me?

231
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:00,581
We're in this together.

232
00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:01,773
Try that one.

233
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:13,084
Hi, Mommy.

234
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:14,818
Let's get it and go.

235
00:09:16,154 --> 00:09:19,020
Imagine sharing a bunk bed
with this maniac.

236
00:09:22,994 --> 00:09:24,005
Oh, I don't know anymore.

237
00:09:24,029 --> 00:09:25,230
There you are!

238
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:27,666
Hey! I love your place.

239
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:30,745
Oh, snap! That's the bookshelf
from your work Zoom.

240
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:33,104
Daisy, I'm so glad you could come.

241
00:09:33,238 --> 00:09:34,138
So glad.

242
00:09:34,306 --> 00:09:36,918
You can put your gift
just on this table.

243
00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:38,808
- The gift table.
- Oh, yeah.

244
00:09:39,244 --> 00:09:40,145
Wow.

245
00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:42,290
There's not a lot of space
left on that thing.

246
00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:44,158
I know, we have the best friends.

247
00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:45,793
Do you mind getting me
something to drink?

248
00:09:45,817 --> 00:09:46,994
Oh, yeah. Of course. Um...

249
00:09:47,018 --> 00:09:48,629
What are you drinking?
We have everything.

250
00:09:48,653 --> 00:09:50,164
Oh, I'm easy. Just a piņa colada.

251
00:09:50,188 --> 00:09:52,900
Uh-huh. I might have
to DoorDash a coconut,

252
00:09:52,924 --> 00:09:54,202
but I will get them.

253
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:55,227
Okay.

254
00:09:55,694 --> 00:09:57,772
What the hell? You told me no gifts.

255
00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:58,906
Did I say that?

256
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:01,008
Oh, you must've heard me wrong
'cause you were too busy

257
00:10:01,032 --> 00:10:02,767
staring at my eye bags.

258
00:10:03,034 --> 00:10:03,934
Weak.

259
00:10:03,969 --> 00:10:06,247
Just like that weak-ass
country you from.

260
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:07,339
Maybe.

261
00:10:07,539 --> 00:10:10,284
But at least I showed up with
a thoughtful token of my love

262
00:10:10,308 --> 00:10:11,988
for the happy couple.

263
00:10:12,777 --> 00:10:13,712
Hustle up!

264
00:10:13,912 --> 00:10:15,790
You stole from your brother,
but I stole from a cop.

265
00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:18,614
Relax! Running will
only attract attention!

266
00:10:24,523 --> 00:10:25,690
Run!

267
00:10:25,824 --> 00:10:26,992
Halt!

268
00:10:27,692 --> 00:10:29,070
I feel like a wayward youth!

269
00:10:29,094 --> 00:10:31,494
Split up! He can't catch both of us.

270
00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:41,072
Hey.

271
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:42,650
Is it just me, or is that bar cart

272
00:10:42,674 --> 00:10:43,618
obscuring my bib of glory?

273
00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:46,442
I mean, you can't even
see the bloodstains.

274
00:10:46,478 --> 00:10:47,412
Um, yeah.

275
00:10:47,579 --> 00:10:49,791
Actually, Victoria told me
that putting it there

276
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:50,925
would help with the room flow.

277
00:10:50,949 --> 00:10:53,995
And she has put in her
10,000 hours of partying, so...

278
00:10:54,019 --> 00:10:56,197
Huh. She just said it
out of the blue like that?

279
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:57,999
Yeah, she's a very random person.

280
00:10:58,023 --> 00:10:59,734
Oh, look, it's my spin friend, Sarah.

281
00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:01,469
She's the one who wears
the helmet to class.

282
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:02,460
Hey!

283
00:11:04,729 --> 00:11:06,832
Hey. Cool party, huh?

284
00:11:07,098 --> 00:11:08,342
Good people, good vibe.

285
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,478
Um, by any chance, did you tell Emily

286
00:11:10,502 --> 00:11:12,547
that she should move this bar cart here?

287
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:13,605
Hmm? No.

288
00:11:13,738 --> 00:11:15,016
I would never put this here.

289
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,350
It's, like, clogging up the space.

290
00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:17,852
So, by the time I get another drink,

291
00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:18,886
I'm, like, sober again.

292
00:11:18,910 --> 00:11:20,710
Mm-hmm. That's interesting.

293
00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:22,692
That's very interesting.

294
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:32,967
Just take an Uber, Patel.
I'm not coming back.

295
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,671
Oh, this isn't Patel.

296
00:11:36,027 --> 00:11:37,271
He got me, Frank.

297
00:11:37,295 --> 00:11:39,040
Call my lawyer! He's an estate planner

298
00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:40,441
but maybe he knows someone who can help.

299
00:11:40,465 --> 00:11:42,009
Yeah, I've got your man.

300
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,845
I've already read him
half his Miranda rights,

301
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,313
which is further than I usually get.

302
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:48,203
So, next I take him downtown
and I book him.

303
00:11:48,306 --> 00:11:50,751
Book him? Frank,
you gotta get me out of here!

304
00:11:50,775 --> 00:11:52,186
Or we do a prisoner swap.

305
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,610
You give me the pan, I give you him.

306
00:11:54,813 --> 00:11:57,079
I don't negotiate with terrorists.

307
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,050
What? No! Negotiate!

308
00:11:59,184 --> 00:12:00,984
Trade my freedom for a pan!

309
00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:02,921
No deal. Patel, stay strong.

310
00:12:03,054 --> 00:12:06,254
The Kingdom of Chicken
awaits you for your loyalty.

311
00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,504
I'm gonna miss my booze cruise,
you bastard!

312
00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:10,529
Frank!

313
00:12:11,229 --> 00:12:12,129
Buddy?

314
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:13,608
All available officers.

315
00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:15,743
There's a ranting man
with a baseball bat

316
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:17,500
under the Fairview Bridge.

317
00:12:17,836 --> 00:12:20,181
This is Officer Shaw, I am responding.

318
00:12:20,205 --> 00:12:22,049
Uh, you're gonna have
some company back there,

319
00:12:22,073 --> 00:12:23,551
so hide your privates.

320
00:12:23,575 --> 00:12:24,676
What?

321
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,691
Shred. I need access to your wall safe.

322
00:12:30,715 --> 00:12:33,194
It's a one-bedroom apartment.
I don't have a wall safe.

323
00:12:33,218 --> 00:12:35,963
Damn it, man! I'm being
chased by a lunatic cop.

324
00:12:35,987 --> 00:12:36,955
You met him.

325
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:38,900
Hey, can I ask you something?

326
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,334
Usually, this would be a Patel question,

327
00:12:40,358 --> 00:12:42,436
but he's been in
the bathroom for a while now.

328
00:12:42,460 --> 00:12:44,196
Ooh! This could work.

329
00:12:44,996 --> 00:12:46,808
I'm getting a weird vibe from Emily.

330
00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,242
Almost like I'm crashing my own party.

331
00:12:48,266 --> 00:12:50,178
Do you think I should
confront it head on

332
00:12:50,202 --> 00:12:51,446
and say something to her?

333
00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:52,814
Or would that just make it worse?

334
00:12:52,838 --> 00:12:53,948
I need you to be quiet.

335
00:12:53,972 --> 00:12:55,316
Okay. Yeah. You're right.

336
00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:57,118
I don't need to bring this up right now.

337
00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:59,875
It's a good call.
You're very wise, Frank.

338
00:13:00,245 --> 00:13:02,590
Oh, now I'm just a casual
tennis lover looking for

339
00:13:02,614 --> 00:13:03,691
a midnight pickup match.

340
00:13:03,715 --> 00:13:05,059
Okay, time for presents!

341
00:13:05,083 --> 00:13:06,227
Ooh, come on, guys.

342
00:13:06,251 --> 00:13:08,186
Patel, we're doing presents!

343
00:13:09,254 --> 00:13:10,832
Start with that one in the middle.

344
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:12,216
Ooh! Okay, great.

345
00:13:18,597 --> 00:13:20,465
That's so sweet.

346
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,067
Oh, my gosh.

347
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,836
Thank you so much, Daisy.

348
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:26,447
What? Wait, sorry. What?

349
00:13:26,471 --> 00:13:27,371
Of course.

350
00:13:27,472 --> 00:13:29,083
And I have a little story
that goes with it,

351
00:13:29,107 --> 00:13:30,118
but I'll tell it to you later.

352
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,320
No, no, no! Share it now.
Share it right now.

353
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,244
Hold on.

354
00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:34,555
Well, my grandmother died.

355
00:13:34,579 --> 00:13:37,125
But before she did,
she taught me how to knit.

356
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,994
And even when she lost
her ability to speak,

357
00:13:40,018 --> 00:13:41,951
we communicated through yarn.

358
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,667
That's obviously a load of B.S.

359
00:13:46,691 --> 00:13:49,170
Victoria, please, she's talking
about her late grandmother.

360
00:13:49,194 --> 00:13:50,238
Just let her finish.

361
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:51,272
It's okay. I'm done.

362
00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:55,200
Daisy, that story and this gift
are so beautiful.

363
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:57,044
You poor thing. Come here.

364
00:13:57,068 --> 00:13:58,036
Okay.

365
00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:00,238
What the hell is this crap?

366
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:04,754
Seattle P.D. Department!

367
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,645
Don't be alarmed.

368
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:07,913
Make a hole.

369
00:14:08,046 --> 00:14:09,690
I'm hunting a petty thief.

370
00:14:09,714 --> 00:14:12,727
He looks like an ugly,
stretched out version of me.

371
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:14,619
Sorry, Frank. He broke me.

372
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,197
You've been broken for years.

373
00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:18,924
Surrender the pan
or you're under arrest.

374
00:14:19,057 --> 00:14:20,857
I have no idea where it is.

375
00:14:22,427 --> 00:14:23,328
Not a clue.

376
00:14:23,461 --> 00:14:25,173
Whoa, whoa, you can't just storm in here

377
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,717
and upset my party.

378
00:14:27,098 --> 00:14:28,209
Your party? Wow!

379
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:29,777
Here I was thinking it was our party.

380
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,479
No, yeah, of course. Our party!

381
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:32,647
No, not of course.

382
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,482
Everything that's me is being
obstructed by bar carts.

383
00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,484
Okay, Shred. This is really
not the time right now.

384
00:14:36,508 --> 00:14:38,319
Oh, like your bowls
are so charming to look at?

385
00:14:38,343 --> 00:14:40,188
Teams of artists designed chip bags.

386
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,223
It's a good career.
Or at least it used to be.

387
00:14:42,247 --> 00:14:45,159
I'm sorry, did you get
that bag out of the trash can?

388
00:14:45,183 --> 00:14:47,328
Oh, yeah. Didn't even rinse it off.

389
00:14:47,352 --> 00:14:49,063
Don't you... don't you do that.

390
00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:51,189
Don't you think about...

391
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:55,803
Dig in, everyone.

392
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:57,507
Who did I move in with?

393
00:14:58,096 --> 00:14:59,776
Oh, my God, the lasagna!

394
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:03,845
Great, it's ruined!
My famous lasagna is ruined.

395
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:05,802
Our famous lasagna is ruined.

396
00:15:06,138 --> 00:15:07,818
Well, I say we call it.

397
00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:09,619
- Mine...
- Hey! Stop!

398
00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:10,762
- Just give it!
- Stop!

399
00:15:10,787 --> 00:15:12,820
- Give it to me!
- Hey! That's enough!

400
00:15:12,844 --> 00:15:14,188
All right, that's enough!

401
00:15:14,212 --> 00:15:15,423
You need a warrant!

402
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:16,548
Enough! Hey!

403
00:15:16,681 --> 00:15:17,801
That's enough!

404
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:22,096
Thanks to you two,
I missed Rishi's booze cruise.

405
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,855
I'm tired. I'm hungry.

406
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,967
And now I don't even get lasagna!

407
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,401
So, here's what's going to happen.

408
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:29,504
You're gonna make some
of that transcendent chicken

409
00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:31,472
that neither of you
can stop talking about.

410
00:15:31,496 --> 00:15:33,431
It is the least you can do.

411
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:36,477
Well, the least I can do
is just head home and go to bed.

412
00:15:36,501 --> 00:15:37,502
But...

413
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:41,070
If it helps,
I'll make some of Mom's chicken.

414
00:15:41,173 --> 00:15:42,613
Do you wanna help?

415
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:45,429
I'll get the stool.

416
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,166
Hold on. Uncuff me.

417
00:15:50,315 --> 00:15:52,393
You owe me a blanket and an apology.

418
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:54,428
Oh, no. You stick
your finger in the cage

419
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:55,663
and you're bound to get bit.

420
00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,231
I bet your granny isn't even dead.

421
00:15:57,255 --> 00:15:58,155
No, she is.

422
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:00,034
Oh, is she?
I'm... I am sorry about that.

423
00:16:00,058 --> 00:16:01,602
Thank you. 'Cause she fought like hell.

424
00:16:01,626 --> 00:16:02,666
Okay, well...

425
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:04,672
don't go thinking that this
is the end of it, it's not.

426
00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:07,442
I-I have, like,
five retributions in my head,

427
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,410
and some of them are scary, even for me.

428
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:11,900
Why are you so set on being my enemy?

429
00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:14,182
You're the last person at work
that's still mean to me.

430
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,883
Hard disagree, we're all mean to you.

431
00:16:15,907 --> 00:16:16,875
Not anymore.

432
00:16:17,108 --> 00:16:19,720
Emily invited me to this party,
and even Frank let me use

433
00:16:19,744 --> 00:16:22,056
some of his bear spray when
I ran out during Fleet Week.

434
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,791
Okay, well,
it's not like you're nice to me.

435
00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:25,460
You said that I have eye bags.

436
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,618
Grow up!

437
00:16:26,751 --> 00:16:28,429
You bully me all the time.

438
00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:30,698
It's just really hard
to show up to work every day

439
00:16:30,722 --> 00:16:33,622
when you know someone
doesn't want you there.

440
00:16:34,659 --> 00:16:35,660
Okay.

441
00:16:37,362 --> 00:16:38,930
Four minutes. Flip.

442
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:41,797
Ah, I don't trust time.
I trust my finger.

443
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,178
- Not there yet.
- Okay, you're gonna burn it.

444
00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:45,213
You always burn it!

445
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:46,597
Mom had one rule.

446
00:16:47,839 --> 00:16:49,050
No fighting on chicken nights.

447
00:16:49,074 --> 00:16:50,485
Exactly, so stop saying dumb stuff

448
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,375
that makes me wanna hit you.

449
00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:55,180
There.

450
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:57,291
It's kind of amazing how she did it.

451
00:16:57,315 --> 00:16:58,459
Thirty-minute salt brine.

452
00:16:58,483 --> 00:16:59,927
It's not exactly earth shattering.

453
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:01,329
- Keeping us all together.
- Oh.

454
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:02,964
Or at least from killing each other.

455
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:03,955
Yeah.

456
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,634
Do you remember that Labor Day picnic?

457
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:10,104
"Patrick Shaw, we do not play
duck-duck-goose with knives."

458
00:17:10,128 --> 00:17:11,472
A running tackle.

459
00:17:11,496 --> 00:17:13,441
Very impressive for a mother of five.

460
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,977
And still had time to pack
little notes in our lunch boxes.

461
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:19,137
Those notes got me through
a very delayed puberty.

462
00:17:19,237 --> 00:17:20,882
Sometimes she would just draw hearts,

463
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:24,298
and I told people it was
from my girlfriend in Oregon.

464
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:28,205
She was the best.

465
00:17:30,982 --> 00:17:32,117
Ah, screw it.

466
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,950
I'm done quarreling. You take the pan.

467
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:38,490
Thanks.

468
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:41,626
Mama's boy.

469
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,070
- Oww!
- Oh, shoot!

470
00:17:43,094 --> 00:17:44,372
- You got oil on your shirt.
- Don't...

471
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:46,974
My gun's loaded, Frank.
Accidents happen.

472
00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:48,467
- Wow.
- Yeah.

473
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,185
You know, we could move the bar cart.

474
00:17:57,209 --> 00:18:00,154
Yeah, Victoria really steered
you wrong there, didn't she?

475
00:18:00,178 --> 00:18:01,789
Okay, I'm sorry for hiding the bib.

476
00:18:01,813 --> 00:18:04,258
But honestly, the splatter
of nose blood is a really nice

477
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:05,293
pop of color.

478
00:18:05,317 --> 00:18:06,994
Em, you hate the bib.

479
00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:08,396
Yeah, I hate it, but...

480
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:11,320
I should've just told you that,
and I just...

481
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:14,001
Well, I think I'm used to
having things, like,

482
00:18:14,025 --> 00:18:15,436
exactly how I like them.

483
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,126
And I'm not used to living with someone.

484
00:18:18,296 --> 00:18:20,408
Well, there's always
an adjustment period.

485
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:23,544
Is there? I wouldn't know.
I mean, you're technically

486
00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:25,179
the first guy I've ever lived with.

487
00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:26,103
Really?

488
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,049
Yeah, I mean, I've had
serious relationships.

489
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:30,151
I just always kept my own place.

490
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,910
Aww. I'm honored.

491
00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:35,656
You know, moving in,
there's always a learning curve.

492
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,291
Like Camila, she was so messy.

493
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:38,693
And she hated bras.

494
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,828
So, when she got home,
shirt off, bra off.

495
00:18:40,852 --> 00:18:42,563
Sometimes pants off. Clothes everywhere.

496
00:18:42,587 --> 00:18:44,332
- Okay, you can stop.
- Okay.

497
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:46,701
The point is, there's roommate issues

498
00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,536
and there's relationship issues.

499
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,305
And I think tonight we just
had a roommate issue.

500
00:18:51,329 --> 00:18:53,532
Oh. Okay.

501
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:55,033
Good.

502
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:57,311
Well, you'll just have to
be patient with me

503
00:18:57,335 --> 00:19:00,338
as I adjust to having
my first ever roommate.

504
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,372
Okay, so I will wait
till tomorrow to tell you

505
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,920
I don't think we need
to iron our sheets.

506
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,779
Aw, but we do, babe.

507
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:09,680
But why?

508
00:19:09,848 --> 00:19:12,560
So, I'm scrambling through
an unlocked patio door

509
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:15,463
into a stranger's mudroom,
police sirens to my left,

510
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,898
growling dogs to my right.

511
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,602
I've got nowhere to go.

512
00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:20,637
Why is everyone so quiet?

513
00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,370
Because we're listening to you.

514
00:19:22,394 --> 00:19:24,238
Yeah, this story's insane, dude.

515
00:19:24,262 --> 00:19:25,373
- My story?
- Yes!

516
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,265
About me? Holy crap.

517
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:28,876
I finally got a great story.

518
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:31,846
I didn't even get to the part
where the bridge maniac

519
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,214
tried to bite me.

520
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,116
- What?
- All right, everyone.

521
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:36,274
Here we go.

522
00:19:36,408 --> 00:19:38,543
- I'm starving.
- Looks good.

523
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,221
All right, guys.

524
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:42,178
As we say in the Shaw family,

525
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,346
shut up and eat, you jackasses.

526
00:19:44,549 --> 00:19:45,650
Love it.

527
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:47,464
- Lovely.
- Come on now.

528
00:19:47,986 --> 00:19:49,988
Ooh! Um... a toast.

529
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,696
To Emily and Shred

530
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:56,237
and everybody else who was brave
enough to remain at this party

531
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,661
that could not have gone more wrong.

532
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:02,634
And Daisy is here, too.

533
00:20:03,401 --> 00:20:04,970
Um...

534
00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:07,036
I just wanted to apologize...

535
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:10,976
to you for continuing
to be mean to you long after

536
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:12,253
everybody else was.

537
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:13,211
Um...

538
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:17,716
it's very nice to have you
at this non-work event.

539
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,351
Aww, thanks, V.

540
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,430
It's almost as good as a real present.

541
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,565
Um, I was gonna say a little speech,

542
00:20:24,589 --> 00:20:27,301
but Shred, I think you
should do the honors.

543
00:20:27,325 --> 00:20:29,658
Rub a dub dub, let's eat some grub.

544
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,029
Hey!

545
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:32,797
All right.

546
00:20:34,332 --> 00:20:36,511
I don't believe
that we've been introduced.

547
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,012
You couldn't handle me.

548
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:39,213
You might be surprised.

549
00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:41,415
Come down to the police station
and watch me climb a rope.

550
00:20:41,439 --> 00:20:42,850
Nope! You two do not get to talk.

551
00:20:42,874 --> 00:20:46,044
Oh, now I see why they
call you Seattle's finest.

552
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,480
Ugh. I lost my appetite.

553
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:52,794
All right, Shaw boys.

554
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:55,296
It took a little elbow grease,
but I finally got all the gunk

555
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,888
off Mama's pan.

556
00:20:57,355 --> 00:20:58,557
- No!
- Ahh!

557
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,434
- What did you do?
- You ruined the seasoning!

558
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:02,703
Did I mess up? I used
an extra powerful cleaner.

559
00:21:02,727 --> 00:21:05,393
It ate through, like, three dish gloves.

560
00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:09,210
I mean, you can re-season it.

561
00:21:09,234 --> 00:21:10,445
Build the flavor up.

562
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,104
Should only take 40, maybe 50 years.

563
00:21:14,372 --> 00:21:16,238
I'd better start right away.

564
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:19,475
You killed my already dead mother.

565
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,952
The old switcheroo.

566
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,200
Good job, Shred.

567
00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:31,535
You earned this.

568
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:36,206
Best party ever.

569
00:21:37,806 --> 00:21:38,966
Yes!

570
00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:43,100
CREDITS