1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:06,072
Okay, Tim, the tortoise
is officially 100 years old!

2
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:07,616
All his friends are dead.

3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,811
Happy birthday to you.

4
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:13,189
Birthday boy's a little shy.

5
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:16,349
Happy birthday to you.

6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:18,511
I wouldn't come out
for a lettuce cake either.

7
00:00:18,536 --> 00:00:22,789
Happy birthday, dear Tim.

8
00:00:22,922 --> 00:00:26,426
Happy birthday to...

9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,194
Tim?

10
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,829
Tim?

11
00:00:31,998 --> 00:00:34,000
Well, I'm gonna call it.

12
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:35,414
Time of death...

13
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:36,822
mid-afternoon.

14
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,139
Here lies Tim.

15
00:00:39,272 --> 00:00:41,183
- He was a noble tortoise.
- Yeah.

16
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:44,744
He liked lettuce and
looked like a rock, and...

17
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,224
I got nothing. Did anyone know
Tim particularly well?

18
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,316
I could do a poem or something.

19
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,019
- He lives!
- Hey!

20
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:57,233
- Classic!
- A roller coaster of emotion!

21
00:00:57,257 --> 00:01:00,260
And many more!

22
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:03,180
Not that many more, probably.

23
00:01:29,732 --> 00:01:33,254
CREDITS

24
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,271
Hey, quick question for the group.

25
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:38,274
Can anyone think of a time
when I treated Shred differently

26
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:39,976
than anybody else in the office?

27
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,210
Uh, maybe the millions of times

28
00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,280
that you put your tongue in
his mouth in the storage closet?

29
00:01:44,304 --> 00:01:47,016
No, I'm-I'm talking more
unethical conduct, like...

30
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,209
raises, promotions, time off.

31
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,886
I find baby talk unethical.

32
00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,555
Oh! Fwankie's cwanky.

33
00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:55,858
I only ask because in a couple
of days, our HR rep, Rhonda,

34
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,294
is going to interview us
to make sure I didn't show Shred

35
00:01:58,318 --> 00:01:59,695
any preferential treatment.

36
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,698
You seem pretty casual,
considering this HR lady

37
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:04,433
decides whether or not to fire your ass.

38
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,268
Actually, Bettany's been teaching me

39
00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:07,870
a neat way to stay calm.

40
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:11,173
Octagon breathing, it's twice
as effective as box breathing.

41
00:02:11,197 --> 00:02:13,042
You take a breath with
each side of the octagon

42
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,746
as you trace its shape.

43
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,284
It works because my body thinks
it's sprinting to safety.

44
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,508
You are not safe at all.
When I was on the force...

45
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,957
Ah... it's relevant.

46
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,326
When I was on the force,
the guys in my unit took bribes.

47
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,428
I wouldn't do it because I have
a little something called

48
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,463
a moral compass. So, they accused me

49
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:38,391
of making false accusations and
I was not adequately prepared.

50
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,772
Wow, that's very interesting, Frank.

51
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:43,784
What happened next?

52
00:02:43,809 --> 00:02:45,341
I got fired! And sentenced to a life

53
00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:46,876
of driving around with you, numb nuts.

54
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,045
Sometimes it's hard
to have your back, dude.

55
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,279
I feel pretty ready, I mean,

56
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:52,214
I scheduled these interviews
for when Templeton's getting

57
00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:54,817
his CPR certification,
which explains why he had

58
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:55,918
that lady mannequin.

59
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:57,253
So, he can't badmouth me.

60
00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:58,387
I mean, what else can I do?

61
00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:01,657
You need to wake up and
realize this is life and death.

62
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,759
We need to treat this as trial prep.

63
00:03:03,783 --> 00:03:06,796
Figure out how to answer
anything the HR rep will ask.

64
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,828
I'm talking mock interviews,
coaching witnesses,

65
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,034
and as the only one who
has actually been through

66
00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:15,271
this process, I nominate myself
as mock interrogator

67
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,405
and I humbly accept.

68
00:03:16,429 --> 00:03:18,264
Okay. Yeah, I'll try it.

69
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,977
I just hope this isn't
a Frank power trip thing.

70
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,011
Of course not.

71
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,779
But I will be taking over
the multipurpose room,

72
00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,848
so notify the dogs
their vaccinations will be

73
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,552
taking place another day.

74
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,487
Why do you look like you're
going Christmas caroling?

75
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:33,255
Maya's friend Isha gave it to me.

76
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:35,057
She started this closet
organizing business.

77
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,293
So, Maya hired her to come by
the house and declutter

78
00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:38,461
while they're outta town.

79
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,963
She noticed I don't have
a white cable knit sweater.

80
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,522
And... voilà!

81
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:45,634
Hmm. It really draws a lot
of attention to your face.

82
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,027
Thank you...

83
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:50,897
That looks great on you.

84
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,433
Say hello to my little sweater!

85
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,378
It's Pacino from a YouTube compilation.

86
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,137
I can't. Stop!

87
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,605
You liked that?

88
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:02,723
I know we've had a lot of fun
looking at shoe organizers,

89
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:04,687
but it's time to make a decision.

90
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:07,178
- Oh, boy.
- The Wesley or the Tommen?

91
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:10,159
Tommen. It's not even close.

92
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,050
I knew it. We are simpatico!

93
00:04:13,019 --> 00:04:14,430
Isn't Amit the best?

94
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:15,755
- Him?
- Hoo-ahh!

95
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,089
- Oh!
- Serpico.

96
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,392
I can't with you!

97
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,607
If you're robbing the precinct,

98
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,409
you're being way too obvious about it.

99
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:28,577
I'm setting up my interrogation station.

100
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,813
I need to familiarize myself
with all the ammo

101
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,581
the HR rep might use against us.

102
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,483
Okay, just be careful,
'cause I file everything

103
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:36,187
with a very meticulous...

104
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:37,811
All right.

105
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,858
- I got it.
- Never mind.

106
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,558
Can you get that box?

107
00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,460
Doesn't it stress you out
that Frank's gonna rifle

108
00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:45,695
through your stuff?

109
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,963
Oh, not really, it's mostly
just boring paperwork and stuff.

110
00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:49,732
Except the bottom drawer
is my personal things,

111
00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,334
but it's really just my neck pillow.

112
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,803
And theTwilight
fan fiction book you wrote.

113
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,267
I beg your pardon?

114
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:57,707
Why would you put Blood Moonin there?

115
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,608
I gave that to you in confidence.

116
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,844
I took it home, um, but it's very dense,

117
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,980
um, so I brought it back
to finish it on my lunch breaks.

118
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,225
And I'm going to,
but it's-it's very, um... long.

119
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,618
I don't think you understand.
If Frank finds that,

120
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:13,713
he has 300 pages of werewolf
erotica to make fun of me with.

121
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:14,855
Feels longer.

122
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,092
All right, listen up, everyone.

123
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,026
Despite the name,

124
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,061
a mock interview is nothing to laugh at.

125
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,397
When I call you,
come to the multipurpose room

126
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,466
having emptied your bladders
and steeled your nerves.

127
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,067
Shred, you're first up.

128
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:26,235
I'm full of the truth,

129
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:28,659
so squeeze me like a lemon, brother.

130
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:31,765
It's 11:14 AM.

131
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:34,143
The weather is fair,
but a storm is coming.

132
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,412
This is Frank Shaw
questioning the first witness.

133
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:37,780
- What's your name?
- Shred Taylor.

134
00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:40,483
- First day of employment?
- November 1st, 2023.

135
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,351
How long have you been involved
with Emily Price?

136
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,986
Six beautiful months.

137
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,388
You just lied three times.

138
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:46,922
Your legal name is Fred Taylor.

139
00:05:46,946 --> 00:05:49,158
You started on November 15th
and you've been involved

140
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,494
with Emily since the moment
you laid eyes on that dork.

141
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,362
Well, I think my recall
is pretty good for a guy

142
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:54,497
that's had eight concussions.

143
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:55,931
Once you've proven yourself a liar,

144
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:57,667
they won't believe anything you say.

145
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,835
And next thing you know,
they'll be asking for your gun

146
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,571
and badge and telling your
old man that his kid's a rat.

147
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,040
Do you need a minute, buddy?

148
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,675
No! Don't change the subject.

149
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,443
Now buckle up, because I'm gonna be

150
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:09,267
as thorough as a lice comb.

151
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:10,513
At what point were you aware

152
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,448
that Shred and Emily
were in a relationship?

153
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,550
When they got caught
sucking face at the ACOOTYs.

154
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:15,951
Now, let me ask you a question.

155
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:18,988
Is there anything funny
about Patel's Pacino impression?

156
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,180
I'm asking the questions.

157
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,457
And let the record show there is not.

158
00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:23,459
According to Emily's
citizen complaint log,

159
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,995
you've been caught without
proper identification

160
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,321
on no less than 17 calls.

161
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,757
Okay, I can explain this.

162
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:31,867
When Maya travels,

163
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,537
she uses my badge to get
through TSA super quick.

164
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:35,738
That's so blatantly illegal.

165
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,006
I can't believe you disclosed it.

166
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,408
Congrats on being
our most honest witness.

167
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:40,743
You talkin' to me?

168
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,446
Unfortunately, yes.
And that's a De Niro quote.

169
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,314
Like myself, you uncovered
Shred and Emily's

170
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:46,549
relationship early on.

171
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,750
- I knew first.
- Wrong.

172
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:50,720
I knew he like-liked her
since his first day on the job.

173
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,588
I will ask you one more time!

174
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:55,412
Did you ever witness
Supervisor Emily Price

175
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:58,194
show preferential
treatment to Officer Taylor?

176
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,719
- No.
- No.

177
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,454
- No...
- No.

178
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,425
Great, well, that oughta do it.

179
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,838
Come on, you can buy me lunch.

180
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,129
You know what makes me suspicious?

181
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,932
Nothing being suspicious.

182
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,899
I gotta get into the files. Deep dive.

183
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:18,505
Wait a s... wait.

184
00:07:18,738 --> 00:07:20,483
I think I do remember a time that Emily

185
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,187
might have favored Shred.

186
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:25,054
She let him skip cat bath Wednesdays.

187
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,756
Yeah, he hates cat bath Wednesdays.

188
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,491
I mean, we all do,
but he always tries to

189
00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:30,715
wriggle out of it, like the cats.

190
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,152
I think I've got it.

191
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:38,425
Ooh!

192
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,871
Looks like everyone's prepped
and ready for their interview.

193
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:42,935
Everybody is.

194
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:45,597
Except for you.

195
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:46,676
What are you talking about?

196
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,810
I gotta be honest.

197
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,646
Part of today was about me
playing cop one more time.

198
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:53,137
But damn it, if I don't still got it.

199
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,084
I found the smoking gun.

200
00:07:55,108 --> 00:07:57,977
It's got your fingerprints all over it.

201
00:08:04,517 --> 00:08:07,830
Why do Shred's timecards say
that he arrived at work at 8:30,

202
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,032
when Victoria confirmed
that he didn't get there

203
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,591
till noon that day?

204
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,259
Um...

205
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,095
Oh, I...

206
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,506
I did fill this in for him,
but only because he was

207
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:18,974
running an errand for the precinct.

208
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,134
Off site. Totally above board.

209
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,311
Well, what was the errand?

210
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,412
I'd rather not say.

211
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,780
Where was he, Emily?!

212
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:27,273
Where was your boy toy?!

213
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:29,051
- Oww!
- Are you okay?

214
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,553
I've been hitting the table a lot.

215
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,257
Just tell me the truth.

216
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:35,348
Ugh. Fine, fine. Um, he was...

217
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,052
picking up, you know,
our softball jerseys.

218
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,319
What?

219
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:42,832
He was picking up
our softball jerseys, okay?

220
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,467
The precinct hasn't had a softball team

221
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:46,202
since we disbanded it two years ago.

222
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,327
No, Frank.

223
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,472
I'm sorry, but we do still have a team.

224
00:08:49,496 --> 00:08:50,697
A secret one.

225
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,842
Oh, you got a secret softball team

226
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,577
without your star player
who's got the arm

227
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,001
of a Greek god? I don't believe you.

228
00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:00,073
You got real jerseys, not just T-shirts?

229
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,208
The Silly Billies.

230
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:04,077
And the pants.

231
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,646
Pants.

232
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,682
You liars!

233
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,444
Liar. Liar. Liar.

234
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:13,596
- Wait, what?
- What?

235
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,708
I thought we passed.

236
00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:16,298
Frank, I can't go back in there, okay?

237
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,733
I finally just stopped shaking.

238
00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:19,824
I know about the Silly Billies.

239
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,305
And terrible name, by the way.

240
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,640
It doesn't instill fear at all.

241
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:26,342
Hey, my son came up with that name!

242
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,743
Hold on, Daisy's on the team?

243
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,845
Sorry, guys, he started asking
lots of questions about

244
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,647
the day Shred picked up our new jerseys.

245
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,316
- Aw, we got new jerseys?
- Yeah.

246
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,918
I'm the only one
the opposing team insisted on

247
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,887
taking a performance
enhancing drug test.

248
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,045
I'm your best player!

249
00:09:39,070 --> 00:09:40,756
You definitely look like you should be.

250
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,425
Uh, you know, you're up there
with your little hat

251
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,794
and your big, strong muscles,
but you do this funny thing

252
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:46,796
when the pressure's on
and it counts the most, you...

253
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,230
- What?
- How do I put this?

254
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,256
You're a strikeout machine.

255
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,225
- Yes.
- Name one time.

256
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,604
There was that time
with the fifth graders

257
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:56,806
when our opponents were no-shows.

258
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:58,040
She was throwing spitters!

259
00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,775
She had Vaseline all over her hat!

260
00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,445
You threw a tantrum,
yelled at an 11-year-old girl,

261
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:05,068
then spent the entire post-game
pizza party bumming us out

262
00:10:05,093 --> 00:10:06,290
with your lame excuses.

263
00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:07,925
You also only eat dry Caesar salad,

264
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,418
which is a different kind of bummer.

265
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,554
So when the game is on the line,
you would rather go with,

266
00:10:11,578 --> 00:10:13,355
oh, I don't know, Emily?

267
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:15,124
Please. I'm the bunt queen.

268
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,149
But you know

269
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,660
what's really unbelievable?

270
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,295
Is that you're doing this to me.

271
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:20,409
A survivor.

272
00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:21,931
I don't know how you say that.

273
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,199
That is what I am, a survivor.

274
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,369
I survived being kicked off the force

275
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:30,163
only to suffer the indignity
and humiliation again.

276
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:31,407
Double survivor.

277
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:32,708
Watch out, he's gonna storm off.

278
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:33,933
Storm? Nah.

279
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,045
I am a category five hurricane.

280
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,938
And you are all low-lying coastal areas.

281
00:10:41,107 --> 00:10:42,787
What's this basket thing?

282
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,477
A hamper.

283
00:10:44,744 --> 00:10:45,821
For your dirty clothes.

284
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,823
I usually just throw
my clothes on the treadmill

285
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:49,527
and they show up clean.

286
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:51,183
Stop!

287
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,962
If we're all set here,
I'm going to head to

288
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,564
the Container Store
and get those hangers we chose.

289
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,333
Grab a couple of these hampers.

290
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,192
Oh! I might.

291
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,505
Ah... I don't get it.

292
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:05,241
She is laughing at your jokes.
Is she simple or something?

293
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:08,110
She's got a lot going on. Okay?
Small business owner.

294
00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:09,679
Just left an unhappy marriage.

295
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,238
Ah... divorced. That's it.

296
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,582
She's hitting on you.

297
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:14,908
No!

298
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,476
You think?

299
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:17,843
No.

300
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,488
Take it from a fellow divorcée.

301
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,325
We are out there on the prowl
trying to get connection

302
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,492
anywhere we can get it.

303
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,593
And I do mean anywhere.

304
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,353
Oh, my God, you're right.

305
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,497
It makes perfect sense.

306
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,598
Since Maya left,

307
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:32,535
these women have been crawling
out of the woodwork.

308
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,004
I mean, she's the first one,
but... they're coming.

309
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,906
Okay, well, you need to shut this down.

310
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,798
I know, I'm gonna talk to...

311
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,102
That's funny.

312
00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,270
- Isha...
- Patel!

313
00:11:43,295 --> 00:11:45,002
I know. I'm shutting it down.

314
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:47,841
Frank?

315
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,418
Have you seen Frank?

316
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,654
He's just totally abandoned
my interview prep.

317
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:52,879
Uh... not sure.

318
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:55,658
He mumbled something
about needing pine tar.

319
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,983
Yes!

320
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,425
Still got it.

321
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,756
Oh, thank God. Aaah!

322
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,858
And...

323
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,094
- Volume two.
- Yay...

324
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,741
Wait, why are you so obsessed
with Frank finding your book?

325
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,776
I mean, he only reads
male authors anyway.

326
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,178
Well, there's this character
called Shadowkeep.

327
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,681
Oh, the man-cougar
who's in every sex scene?

328
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,783
- Spicy stuff, by the way.
- Thank you.

329
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:22,485
There's a chance that Frank might think

330
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,552
Shadowkeep is based on him.

331
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,720
Really? I guess that makes sense.

332
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,623
He is the ripped village elder
with a well-groomed mane.

333
00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,058
Wait, did you base him on Frank?

334
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,693
No! Of course not. Ew.

335
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:34,688
That's good, 'cause you go into
detail describing his loins.

336
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,232
Yeah, but you know what Frank's like.

337
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,534
He's an egomaniac, he will make
everything about himself.

338
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,726
Attention!

339
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,937
It is time to restore
my reputation as a man

340
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,163
and an athlete.

341
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:44,196
Seriously?

342
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,975
Well, look, I'm sorry
about the softball team,

343
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,077
but I have an investigation
you promised to help me with.

344
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,578
- Three pitches.
- What?

345
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,780
Three pitches in the parking lot,

346
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,049
and I guarantee at least one
of them will be a home run.

347
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,784
If I succeed, I'll be reinstated

348
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:55,985
back onto the Silly Billies.

349
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,186
I could get fired.

350
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,312
Everyone! To the parking lot!

351
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,281
Uh... no.

352
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,678
What about my investigation?
We have to prep, Frank.

353
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,588
Somebody call 911
'cause Frank's about to choke.

354
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,324
Yeah, keep chirpin'. I live for this.

355
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:15,373
Strike one. I'm sorry.

356
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,572
I just wanted to see one.

357
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:17,807
Then why you swing at it?

358
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:18,765
Shut up!

359
00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:20,843
Am I interrupting work stuff?

360
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,111
I can just leave these on your desk.

361
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,246
Sure. Actually... do you have a second?

362
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:25,648
I need to talk to you about something.

363
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,851
Ah, I know I went over budget
with the wood hangers,

364
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,675
but a classic man
deserves a classic setup.

365
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,990
Let me convince you over dinner.

366
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,374
I don't think so.

367
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,726
Korean barbecue?

368
00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,361
You told me Maya doesn't like it.

369
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:41,030
She says I'm too impatient
to fully cook the meats.

370
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:42,631
I'll pick you up here at 6:00.

371
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,190
I... I don't know.

372
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,258
My treat.

373
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:46,602
For my best client.

374
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,626
You're really twisting my arm.

375
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,206
Okay, fine. I'll do it.

376
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:51,197
Great.

377
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,512
I'm calling it. Smoothie shop rooftop.

378
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,748
You're making this harder
than it needs to be, man.

379
00:13:58,772 --> 00:13:59,773
Bring it.

380
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:02,375
You're calm and you're safe.

381
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,914
Strike two.

382
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,127
So now we're counting
foul balls as strikes?

383
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,462
Yeah. We're playing by the rules
that were established

384
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:14,606
180 years ago.

385
00:14:14,688 --> 00:14:15,798
Zip it, Cannon!

386
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,299
Are you freaking joshing me, Frank?

387
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:20,302
I mean, not only do you
abandon me when I needed you,

388
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,304
but then you almost decapitate us?

389
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,832
I just had her centered
in a cool, cool seat.

390
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:26,876
I'm glad you're all here.

391
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,477
I want as many eyes on this as possible.

392
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,046
Oh, yeah. No problem. Can I actually...

393
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,314
can I take a look at your hat?

394
00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:33,018
Hey! What are you doing?

395
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:34,674
Stop it, stop it!

396
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:35,818
What's going on here?

397
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,310
- Stop!
- Rhonda!

398
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:40,347
Why are you here right now?

399
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,159
I'm here to pick up some
documents for your HR case.

400
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,194
But now I also have to get
statements from everyone

401
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,085
about what I just witnessed.

402
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,066
Rhonda, I'd also like to file a claim

403
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,090
about softball-related ageism.

404
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,830
So... just had words with Rhonda.

405
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:59,041
Thanks to my little moment with the hat,

406
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,477
uh, she's opening a second
investigation against me

407
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,379
for creating a hostile work environment.

408
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,314
What? But you wouldn't hurt a fly.

409
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,450
Literally. I've seen you take
them outside and free them.

410
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,385
Don't worry, we'll do another
set of mock interviews

411
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,454
and we won't let them
or their facts win.

412
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:12,438
Oh, my gosh.

413
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,982
Maybe I shouldn't be
reinstated because I am guilty

414
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:19,228
of showing preferential
treatment... to you, Frank.

415
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,863
Ooh! Today has everything.

416
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,631
I mean, do you know how hard
I have to work

417
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,835
to protect your ego and cater
to your ridiculous demands?

418
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:26,969
If I got special treatment,

419
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,537
I wouldn't complain as much as I do.

420
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,940
Wh-wh-what about
your lumbar support chair

421
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,364
that I had to special order for you?

422
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,745
Or the fact that I keep
your birthday a secret

423
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,246
so that no one can celebrate it?

424
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,070
It's March 17th, everybody!

425
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,007
March 17th, 1990.

426
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,686
I also gave you your own drawer
in the refrigerator.

427
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,121
Yeah, that pissed me right off.

428
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,890
And now, on the most stressful
day of my whole career,

429
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,725
now you decide to exercise some demons

430
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:50,993
from getting kicked off the force.

431
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,419
I just... ahh...

432
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,944
You know what? I am gonna
prep for my interview alone.

433
00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:02,426
I mean, come on, she's exaggerating.

434
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,874
You know what? Come on, Silly Billies.

435
00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:06,442
Emily needs her team.

436
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:07,643
Support on three.

437
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,744
One, two, three...

438
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:09,669
Support!

439
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,686
So, how did Isha take it?

440
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,922
It wasn't an easy conversation,
but I was straight with her.

441
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,158
I'm married,
and it just doesn't feel right.

442
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,993
Okay, seriously,
when are you gonna talk to her?

443
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,057
After dinner.

444
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,263
I need grilled short rib and
one more night of validation.

445
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,397
She's friends with Maya.

446
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:29,832
She knows that this is just platonic.

447
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:33,035
Oh, well, do her yabbos know
that this is platonic?

448
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,094
Oh, wow.

449
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:36,360
Me and her, dinner, with that...

450
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,463
Dress. Okay, this isn't great.

451
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,775
I should call Maya.

452
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,239
Get ahead of this.

453
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,312
Unless I'm being too hard on myself.

454
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,613
I mean, what have I really done wrong?

455
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,237
Everything, I've done everything wrong.

456
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,544
Hey, babe.

457
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:52,579
How's Mom?

458
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:53,956
There's been a little setback.

459
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:56,625
Oh, no. Hey, listen, there's
something I want you to know,

460
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,049
and I wanted you to hear it from me.

461
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:02,122
Isha may be in love with me.

462
00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:04,300
- What?
- I know.

463
00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:05,801
She's got it bad. It's not her fault.

464
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:06,936
I did my Pacino.

465
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,970
Hold on, I'm adding Isha.

466
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:10,039
What? Don't do that.
Why-why would you do that?

467
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,674
Hey, Maya. What's up?

468
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,686
Isha. Uh...

469
00:17:12,711 --> 00:17:15,232
Amit said you've
fallen in love with him.

470
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,953
Did he say that?

471
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,087
Yeah, you're in love with him.

472
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,789
Hey, but you invited me to dinner!

473
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,815
I told her to check in on you.

474
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,092
I know you've been lonely.

475
00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:31,927
I didn't completely make this up.

476
00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,095
You got all dressed up for me.

477
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,855
No. I got dressed up for my boyfriend.

478
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,836
What's up, Amit?

479
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,358
Psyched for some Korean barbecue?

480
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,972
My God, he's perfect.

481
00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:44,929
Yeah, she clearly has a type.

482
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,242
You guys are like twins.

483
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:47,543
All right, this isn't necessary.

484
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,211
I was just trying to be a good husband.

485
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:50,513
By going on a date with my friend?

486
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,772
Sweetie, I love you, I really do.

487
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,806
Mom, you are never gonna
believe what Amit...

488
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,288
You know, maybe you guys
just go on without me.

489
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,856
I'm just feeling a little...

490
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,215
Hoo-ahh...

491
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,019
Hi, Rhonda.

492
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,097
You're from Precinct 22, aren't you?

493
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,532
Yes, Officer Frank Shaw.

494
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:11,901
Oh, and you do the Elmcrest trail, too?

495
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,445
I do, I love the...

496
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:14,794
Gradient.

497
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:17,039
Look, I don't actually,
I followed you here.

498
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:18,541
Which I now realize sounds creepy,

499
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,276
but I wanted to talk to you about Emily

500
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,644
and what happened yesterday.

501
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,279
Well, then, you'll have to keep up.

502
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,771
I'm very athletic.

503
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,173
Look, Emily is a great boss,

504
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,719
and puts up with a lot
of nonsense from her employees,

505
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,854
I would know. I work with them, too.

506
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,457
I'm sorry, I can't look past
workplace aggression.

507
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:37,214
Listen, Rhonda,
when I was on the force...

508
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,896
Oh! I'm sorry that I got shot at
so you could feel safe

509
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,964
walking in public.

510
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,300
Look, when I was on the force,
my biggest mistake

511
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,601
was that I had a moral compass.

512
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,927
But Lady Time wore me down, so...

513
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:49,538
What if I gave you a name?

514
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,941
Someone who did something
that'll make Emily's outburst

515
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:52,908
look like small potatoes?

516
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,977
What are we talking,
embezzlement, forgery?

517
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,446
I hate to say it, but one of
my more oblivious coworkers

518
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:59,081
got mixed up with the feds.

519
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:00,373
TSA.

520
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,018
I'm still listening.

521
00:19:02,042 --> 00:19:03,722
Oh, we're running again.

522
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,322
Emily's interview is taking forever.

523
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:08,946
I wish I had a Bettany to calm me down.

524
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:11,117
There she is.

525
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,495
I think it's good news.

526
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:15,119
Although I'm terrible at reading women.

527
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:16,823
Well...

528
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,100
- I nailed it.
- Yeah!

529
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,202
I laid out an airtight case
that I didn't demonstrate

530
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,637
any preferential treatment to Shred.

531
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,472
And at the end, she said, "Very good."

532
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,307
And she didn't even
bring up the hat attack.

533
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,009
Yes! High five! High five!

534
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,445
I mean, the city's gonna make
their decision in two weeks,

535
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:30,613
so we're not outta the woods yet.

536
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:33,382
But, you know, at least
we didn't set the woods on fire.

537
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,108
Yay! Okay.

538
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:36,509
Officer Patel.

539
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,622
I have some questions
for you on a separate HR matter.

540
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:41,579
Can you come with me, please?

541
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,482
My God, I'm gonna
have to call Maya again.

542
00:19:46,820 --> 00:19:47,854
Hey.

543
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,623
I heard you talked to Rhonda.

544
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,402
Yeah, I ran into her on one of my hikes.

545
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,395
She struggled to keep up.

546
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,984
I also heard that you said
I was one of the best bosses

547
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:00,312
you've ever had.

548
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,278
Well, I kinda got you in trouble,

549
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,435
so I felt a lie was appropriate.

550
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,917
I know I'm not the easiest employee,

551
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:11,177
and managing my genius
must be exhausting, so...

552
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:14,211
I appreciate you giving me
the space to be...

553
00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:15,749
Me.

554
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,295
So, there you go.

555
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,999
Well, you're welcome.

556
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,391
Hey.

557
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:26,393
Get your bat.

558
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,039
All right, you get one pitch.
Are you ready?

559
00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,130
Bring me that meat, bunt queen.

560
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:39,172
And that ball is outta here!

561
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:42,475
Who drives a red hatchback?

562
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,044
I do. Why?

563
00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:47,644
Tell everyone I'm back on the team!

564
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,718
Can you pass the tail detangler?

565
00:20:54,888 --> 00:20:58,024
Oh, hey, you know who could
use a good detangling?

566
00:20:58,758 --> 00:20:59,959
Shadowkeep.

567
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,630
You're gonna...

568
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,741
you're gonna be so annoying about this.

569
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:08,477
No, it's an honor
to have a character based on me.

570
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:10,813
Although I would never go
on a quest to avenge my father.

571
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,449
If anyone was based on you,
it would be Smitty,

572
00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:15,451
the village elder who dies of dysentery.

573
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,853
Oh, come on.
Shadowkeep's tall, he's clever.

574
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,990
He protects the creatures
of the Rodanthian forest.

575
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:25,251
"So virile, his bare feet make
flowers unfurl their petals."

576
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,963
- It's beautiful.
- He also dyes his beard.

577
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,965
But the night elves
pretend not to notice

578
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,722
'cause they don't
wanna hurt his feelings.

579
00:21:32,826 --> 00:21:34,506
You can finish up here.

580
00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:38,959
It's okay. Shadowkeep has night vision.

581
00:21:39,027 --> 00:21:43,047
CREDITS