1 00:00:03,766 --> 00:00:05,765 Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... 2 00:00:06,305 --> 00:00:07,883 Oh, I'm so embarrassed that I caused such a scene. 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:08,969 And I didn't, 4 00:00:08,994 --> 00:00:11,312 I didn't even want to die. 5 00:00:12,292 --> 00:00:14,759 I just wanted the pain to stop. 6 00:00:16,719 --> 00:00:19,588 - You don't want to have a baby, do you? - No. 7 00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:22,458 - What are we gonna do? - I don't know. 8 00:00:22,813 --> 00:00:24,956 Are you sure you don't need to go be at home? 9 00:00:25,219 --> 00:00:26,414 What about your kids? 10 00:00:26,416 --> 00:00:28,883 I am where I should be. Which is... 11 00:00:28,885 --> 00:00:30,185 right by your side. 12 00:00:30,187 --> 00:00:31,386 It is my opinion 13 00:00:31,388 --> 00:00:33,521 that you exhibit many of the characteristics 14 00:00:33,523 --> 00:00:36,633 of borderline personality disorder. 15 00:00:37,214 --> 00:00:38,813 I'm here for you. 16 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,889 That really means a lot. 17 00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:49,003 Hey, Heather. 18 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,306 What up, what up, what up, what up? 19 00:00:51,308 --> 00:00:53,235 - You're in a good mood. - Yeah. 20 00:00:54,376 --> 00:00:56,744 Wow. Someone did some shopping. 21 00:00:56,863 --> 00:00:58,730 Yes, I'm very excited. 22 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:01,649 Can't believe your doctor gave you so much homework. 23 00:01:01,651 --> 00:01:03,751 Oh, no, you know, he only assigned me one of those books, 24 00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,720 but I just figured, if filling out one book is good, 25 00:01:05,722 --> 00:01:07,407 filling out all of them must be even better. 26 00:01:07,432 --> 00:01:09,048 You're such an A student. 27 00:01:09,226 --> 00:01:11,015 God, I miss being a student. 28 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,928 Is there something you can fill out when you used to be a student, 29 00:01:13,930 --> 00:01:15,597 but now you're not a student? 30 00:01:15,599 --> 00:01:17,899 I think it's called a job application. 31 00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:19,359 Oh. 32 00:01:19,395 --> 00:01:23,448 Ah. Mm, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. 33 00:01:23,473 --> 00:01:25,507 Oh... let's see. 34 00:01:25,509 --> 00:01:29,888 "Exercise One: Scan your body for any signs of distress." Mmm 35 00:01:29,913 --> 00:01:31,279 Initiating body scan. 36 00:01:31,281 --> 00:01:33,882 Oh, these pants feel tight. They are tight in the crotch. 37 00:01:33,884 --> 00:01:36,584 These are terrible pants. I should get rid of these pants. 38 00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,219 Please don't take your pants off in front of me, 39 00:01:38,221 --> 00:01:39,754 I know you haven't done laundry lately. 40 00:01:39,756 --> 00:01:41,623 I'm actually wearing your bikini bottoms. 41 00:01:41,972 --> 00:01:43,424 You can keep 'em. 42 00:01:44,136 --> 00:01:45,393 Thank you. 43 00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:48,663 _ 44 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,333 Did all the books. 45 00:01:52,335 --> 00:01:53,668 Are you proud of me? 46 00:01:53,670 --> 00:01:55,904 I don't know if you keep stickers around, but if you do, 47 00:01:55,906 --> 00:01:57,238 I prefer scratch-n-sniff, so... 48 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,073 Rebecca, I applaud your work ethic, 49 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,876 but recovery is not about assigning yourself homework 50 00:02:01,878 --> 00:02:03,378 and doing it in record time. 51 00:02:03,380 --> 00:02:05,261 So you're saying I set a record. 52 00:02:05,418 --> 00:02:09,083 I know you want an A-plus, but I need to challenge you 53 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,618 to get a different type of grade. 54 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:12,453 What's better than an A-plus? 55 00:02:12,455 --> 00:02:13,714 A C-plus. 56 00:02:13,739 --> 00:02:15,356 I know by doing this work, 57 00:02:15,358 --> 00:02:17,058 you want to get better quickly, 58 00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:19,027 but for someone like you, the overachieving 59 00:02:19,029 --> 00:02:19,961 is part of the issue. 60 00:02:19,963 --> 00:02:21,696 You need to relax. 61 00:02:21,698 --> 00:02:24,235 Relax? Okay, is that what they told you to do at Syracuse? 62 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,720 I'm sor... I'm sorry, Syracuse is a lovely school 63 00:02:29,745 --> 00:02:32,340 for... communications or something. 64 00:02:32,342 --> 00:02:34,042 Hey, you need to put the pencil down. 65 00:02:34,044 --> 00:02:35,843 You have been in a therapy bubble. 66 00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:38,486 All right? It is time to take steps into the real world. 67 00:02:38,511 --> 00:02:40,315 The real world? No, no, I don't want that, 68 00:02:40,317 --> 00:02:41,516 'cause what if I mess things up? 69 00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:43,084 Then that's okay. 70 00:02:43,086 --> 00:02:44,586 Go out there and make some messes, 71 00:02:44,588 --> 00:02:45,687 have some adventures. 72 00:02:45,689 --> 00:02:47,814 And stop being so hard on yourself. 73 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:49,991 I mean, you're right. I am hard on myself. 74 00:02:49,993 --> 00:02:51,459 God, it's one of my worst qualities. 75 00:02:51,461 --> 00:02:52,927 God, I'm such a dumb, loser, 76 00:02:52,929 --> 00:02:54,862 - hard-on-myself bitch. - That. 77 00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:57,646 Stop doing that. 78 00:03:00,201 --> 00:03:01,901 I just don't want to fail. 79 00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:03,795 You need to redefine failure. 80 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:07,510 As I did, when I only got into my safety school. 81 00:03:11,648 --> 00:03:14,315 Oh, ho... 82 00:03:14,317 --> 00:03:15,450 That's a beauty. 83 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,686 Hey! Look, I made special pancakes 84 00:03:18,688 --> 00:03:19,754 with a sports theme. 85 00:03:19,756 --> 00:03:22,724 Basketball, soccer ball, baseball, golf ball. 86 00:03:22,893 --> 00:03:24,559 Those are just circles, Mom. 87 00:03:24,561 --> 00:03:26,461 Oh, wait till you hear what happened this morning. 88 00:03:26,463 --> 00:03:27,962 Okay, so Grandma calls 89 00:03:27,964 --> 00:03:30,898 and she said she's got this church retreat in Minnesota 90 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,333 that she has to go to, 91 00:03:32,335 --> 00:03:34,702 and she wants me... to stay with Granpa. 92 00:03:35,839 --> 00:03:38,273 'Cause he fell down 'cause he's old or... 93 00:03:38,275 --> 00:03:39,941 Cough, cough... alcoholic. 94 00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:41,042 What is she thinking? 95 00:03:41,044 --> 00:03:42,677 Like I would ever go and do that. 96 00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:44,445 You guys know how much my dad annoys me. 97 00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:45,880 Who's ready for an egg-n-cheese Sammy? 98 00:03:45,882 --> 00:03:46,948 - I am. - Me, too. 99 00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,116 So hungry. 100 00:03:48,118 --> 00:03:49,284 You're going out to breakfast? 101 00:03:49,286 --> 00:03:51,185 I mean, what are you talking about? 102 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:53,788 While you were busy with Rebecca, we got a new routine. 103 00:03:54,012 --> 00:03:55,282 We do drive-through for breakfast now. 104 00:03:55,307 --> 00:03:57,925 - Yeah. Let's get going. - Starving. Mmm. - Yeah, same. 105 00:03:57,927 --> 00:03:59,160 Mm-hmm. 106 00:03:59,162 --> 00:04:00,495 - So hungry. - Craving those sandwiches. 107 00:04:00,497 --> 00:04:01,396 Hey, Scott. 108 00:04:01,398 --> 00:04:02,463 Yeah, it's the best. 109 00:04:02,465 --> 00:04:04,532 Look, I know I was AWOL with Rebecca, 110 00:04:04,534 --> 00:04:05,900 but I'm back. I'm here. 111 00:04:05,902 --> 00:04:08,636 I am doing laundry, I am flushing toilets, 112 00:04:08,638 --> 00:04:09,937 I am helping with homework. 113 00:04:09,939 --> 00:04:12,006 Okay, let's face it, I am doing homework. 114 00:04:12,008 --> 00:04:14,942 Yeah, but we don't know how long this is gonna last. 115 00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,979 You go through phases. 116 00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:20,181 Before Rebecca, there were those vampire novels. 117 00:04:20,183 --> 00:04:22,150 Sudoku, and then there was the obsession 118 00:04:22,152 --> 00:04:23,584 with Amal Clooney's outfits. 119 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:26,721 She is a style icon and a barrister. 120 00:04:26,723 --> 00:04:27,989 There's always something you're obsessed with 121 00:04:27,991 --> 00:04:29,957 and, uh, eh, it's kind of never us. 122 00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:32,627 We're like a, I don't know, a chore or something. 123 00:04:32,629 --> 00:04:34,329 You're not a chore. 124 00:04:34,977 --> 00:04:38,132 This is my life and I have accepted it. 125 00:04:38,134 --> 00:04:41,402 My life is chores and working 126 00:04:41,404 --> 00:04:44,572 and studying and never having enough time 127 00:04:44,574 --> 00:04:48,309 to finish the last season of Outlander, it's fine. 128 00:04:48,311 --> 00:04:50,011 I wasn't trying to start something. 129 00:04:50,013 --> 00:04:51,145 You do your best. 130 00:04:51,147 --> 00:04:53,514 But it always feels like there's some part of you 131 00:04:53,516 --> 00:04:55,583 that's not really here. 132 00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:56,984 Why is that? Hmm. 133 00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:58,107 Don't know. 134 00:05:02,425 --> 00:05:05,460 I'm in just such a transitional time right now, you know? 135 00:05:05,462 --> 00:05:06,561 Tell me about it. 136 00:05:06,563 --> 00:05:08,096 My voice is cracking, 137 00:05:08,098 --> 00:05:10,832 hair is appearing in very strange places, 138 00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:14,167 and my armpits are starting to smell like... 139 00:05:14,804 --> 00:05:16,070 like armpits. 140 00:05:16,072 --> 00:05:17,905 But I'm supposed to be past that. 141 00:05:17,907 --> 00:05:19,414 I'm a big boy. 142 00:05:19,922 --> 00:05:21,476 What's the word for that? 143 00:05:21,478 --> 00:05:23,250 - Man. - Yeah. 144 00:05:23,275 --> 00:05:25,408 Man, what is the word for that? 145 00:05:26,438 --> 00:05:29,016 Josh, I couldn't help but overhear 146 00:05:29,018 --> 00:05:30,547 as I was trying to overhear. 147 00:05:30,578 --> 00:05:32,053 You're looking for a job, huh? 148 00:05:32,055 --> 00:05:34,088 I really need a job. 149 00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:37,158 I'm on indefinite suspension from Aloha so I'm broke. 150 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,926 We've been looking for a bartender. 151 00:05:38,928 --> 00:05:40,094 You interested? 152 00:05:40,096 --> 00:05:41,820 Bartending? Huh. 153 00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:43,931 I ought it was kind of lame when Greg did it, 154 00:05:43,933 --> 00:05:45,533 but I bet I could make it cool. 155 00:05:45,687 --> 00:05:48,569 I am really coordinated because of my martial arts and my magic. 156 00:05:48,984 --> 00:05:52,473 I bet I could pick up some dope Cocktail tricks pretty fast. 157 00:05:52,475 --> 00:05:53,908 We mostly serve beer, 158 00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:55,726 so we don't need anything fancy. 159 00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,984 Thanks for not cheering too loud at my game today. 160 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,485 I know it was hard. 161 00:06:04,487 --> 00:06:06,354 Yeah, I tried to reign it in, 162 00:06:06,356 --> 00:06:10,525 but it is hard because Madison is rad-ison. 163 00:06:11,895 --> 00:06:14,562 I'll excuse it because you're going through a tough time. 164 00:06:14,564 --> 00:06:17,065 I mean, you just broke up with your boyfriend. 165 00:06:19,702 --> 00:06:21,369 You did break up with him, right? 166 00:06:21,371 --> 00:06:24,205 - What? - Come on! 167 00:06:24,207 --> 00:06:26,407 You want to have a baby. He doesn't. 168 00:06:26,409 --> 00:06:27,708 I know, but it's so hard. 169 00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,744 I still care about him. I love him. 170 00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:30,812 You got to rip off the Band-Aid. 171 00:06:31,213 --> 00:06:33,214 That's how I broke up with Jimmy. 172 00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:35,119 I ripped off his Band-Aid. 173 00:06:36,953 --> 00:06:38,886 Here he is. Do it. 174 00:06:38,888 --> 00:06:40,021 Joshua! 175 00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:41,622 My dad has something to tell you. 176 00:06:41,624 --> 00:06:43,891 - Oh, yeah? - Um... 177 00:06:43,893 --> 00:06:45,460 What's up? 178 00:06:45,462 --> 00:06:47,992 Um... 179 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:50,282 Madison won her game. 180 00:06:50,307 --> 00:06:53,842 Oh, nice, Madison. Way to go. 181 00:06:57,203 --> 00:06:59,207 Out going back to Buffalo? Madison won her game. 182 00:06:59,209 --> 00:07:01,642 Nobody appreciates me at my house right now. 183 00:07:01,644 --> 00:07:02,877 I mean, I might as well. 184 00:07:02,879 --> 00:07:05,346 Scott has been so pissy lately. 185 00:07:05,348 --> 00:07:08,015 Oh, sometimes I wish I could just touch a stone wall 186 00:07:08,017 --> 00:07:10,184 and go back to 1743 to be with my other husband, 187 00:07:10,186 --> 00:07:14,055 the Scottish warrior, and you don't watch Outlander, do you? 188 00:07:14,057 --> 00:07:15,289 - Mm, sorry. - Like, none of this 189 00:07:15,291 --> 00:07:16,457 makes any sense to you. 190 00:07:17,527 --> 00:07:18,893 - Okay. - Anyway, Paula, are you 191 00:07:18,895 --> 00:07:21,562 sure you want to go back and hang out with your dad? I mean, 192 00:07:21,564 --> 00:07:23,464 you hate him; he makes you feel horrible about yourself. 193 00:07:23,466 --> 00:07:25,967 Yeah, no, I wasn't gonna go, 194 00:07:25,969 --> 00:07:28,236 but, you know, he needs me 195 00:07:28,378 --> 00:07:31,515 and, I mean, Buffalo's gonna be messy, but... 196 00:07:31,841 --> 00:07:34,275 at least it's kind of an adventure. 197 00:07:35,047 --> 00:07:36,511 A messy adventure, you say? 198 00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:37,712 That sounds fun. 199 00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,914 You know, I've always wanted to go to Buffalo. 200 00:07:39,916 --> 00:07:41,676 - You have? - Yes, yes. 201 00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:43,050 Ever since I saw Bruce Almighty. 202 00:07:43,052 --> 00:07:44,652 - Oh, my... - Paula. Paula, 203 00:07:44,654 --> 00:07:46,921 no, this is perfect. This is exactly the kind of adventure 204 00:07:46,923 --> 00:07:48,689 that Dr. Shin was talking about. 205 00:07:48,691 --> 00:07:49,924 Let me come with you. 206 00:07:49,926 --> 00:07:50,926 - Really? - Yeah. 207 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,102 Yeah, come in, Paula. 208 00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:02,904 Hey. 209 00:08:02,906 --> 00:08:04,505 Oh. I just, uh, 210 00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:06,641 wanted to come check on you. 211 00:08:06,643 --> 00:08:08,543 You know, like men do. 212 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,472 Haven't seen you in a while. Everything good? 213 00:08:12,115 --> 00:08:13,648 You're not running away again, are you? 214 00:08:13,650 --> 00:08:16,350 No, no, no, I'm just, I'm going on a quick trip with Paula. 215 00:08:16,352 --> 00:08:18,519 I'm trying to get out of my bubble, my therapy bubble. 216 00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:21,489 It's why I've been kind of MIA from everything, so, sorry. 217 00:08:21,491 --> 00:08:23,925 Oh, no, don't be sorry. It's, it's good to see you. 218 00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:24,926 Yeah. 219 00:08:24,928 --> 00:08:26,761 Might have missed you a little bit. 220 00:08:26,763 --> 00:08:28,129 I don't know. Prob-Probably not. 221 00:08:28,131 --> 00:08:29,730 I'm probably just feeling a little weird 222 00:08:29,732 --> 00:08:32,313 because I accidentally had dairy yesterday. 223 00:08:32,338 --> 00:08:35,036 I asked for a grilled cheese sandwich, but I said "no cheese, 224 00:08:35,038 --> 00:08:37,338 no bread, I just want a hot, salty tomato"" 225 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:39,440 But, you know, they don't listen. 226 00:08:39,442 --> 00:08:40,608 Cool. What a roundabout explanation 227 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,143 for wanting to come see a friend. 228 00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:44,561 Come here. 229 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,053 ? ? 230 00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:58,125 - I don't know if I can have sex. - Huh? 231 00:08:58,127 --> 00:09:01,195 I don't know if the books say that I can have sex yet. 232 00:09:01,197 --> 00:09:02,697 I mean, and I definitely am not ready for a relationship. 233 00:09:02,699 --> 00:09:04,198 Not that that's what you're trying to do. 234 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,733 I don't know what I'm saying. You're a really good hugger. 235 00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:06,801 Oh, thank you. 236 00:09:06,803 --> 00:09:09,103 The thing is, I would love 237 00:09:09,105 --> 00:09:10,504 to have sex with you again. 238 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,739 Like, I'm talking to you here right now, 239 00:09:11,741 --> 00:09:13,808 but there's another version of me... 240 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,710 Like, an alternate version in a parallel universe... 241 00:09:15,712 --> 00:09:17,144 That's just ripping your clothes off 242 00:09:17,146 --> 00:09:19,280 right now and climbing you like the sequoia you are, 243 00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:20,687 you know what I'm sayin'? 244 00:09:20,712 --> 00:09:22,049 - Sequoia? - Yeah. 245 00:09:22,051 --> 00:09:23,684 'Cause you're, like, tall and hard, 246 00:09:23,686 --> 00:09:26,220 and wooden, and sexy, and native to California, 247 00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:28,456 so just get out of here, please. Please just get out of here. 248 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:30,358 - Okay. All right. I'm-a go. - Go. 249 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:34,275 But... I'm-a go sexy. 250 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,007 Why is Nathaniel leaving so sexy? 251 00:09:46,009 --> 00:09:47,108 It's a whole thing. Let's just go. 252 00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:50,044 Okay. No. Mm, no. 253 00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:56,450 Hey, Dad. 254 00:09:56,452 --> 00:09:58,786 Look who's home from Hollywood. 255 00:09:58,788 --> 00:09:59,887 It's West Covina. 256 00:09:59,889 --> 00:10:01,055 It's not even close to Hollywood. 257 00:10:01,057 --> 00:10:02,423 This is my friend, Rebecca. 258 00:10:02,425 --> 00:10:04,058 Look, enough with the pleasantries. 259 00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,560 Your mother told you come and babysit me. 260 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:07,862 I don't need it. 261 00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:10,231 I fell, I got a giant bruise on my ass cheek. 262 00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,899 Other than that, I'm perfect. 263 00:10:12,257 --> 00:10:15,469 Hey, isn't that the girl your mother told me about? 264 00:10:15,471 --> 00:10:18,105 She, uh, kind of sucks at killing herself? 265 00:10:18,229 --> 00:10:19,306 Dad! 266 00:10:21,003 --> 00:10:24,111 Hey, I know this guy from my old precinct in Brooklyn, 267 00:10:24,113 --> 00:10:26,182 he tried to shoot himself in his foot 268 00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:27,615 to get workers' comp. 269 00:10:27,617 --> 00:10:29,083 Blew off his willie. 270 00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:30,418 You're like that guy. 271 00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:32,253 Oh, my God, Rebecca, I am so sorry. 272 00:10:32,255 --> 00:10:33,521 No, no, no. It-It's okay. 273 00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:36,290 Wait, wait, so the guy just blew off the willie? 274 00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:37,425 Not the entire package? 275 00:10:37,427 --> 00:10:38,592 So that means he just missed out 276 00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:40,828 on becoming, like, a great soprano? 277 00:10:40,830 --> 00:10:44,107 By a hair. 278 00:10:44,132 --> 00:10:45,766 He's funny. 279 00:10:45,768 --> 00:10:47,342 He's really not. 280 00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:50,304 Paula doesn't have a sense of humor. Never has. 281 00:10:50,306 --> 00:10:52,206 That's why she's not likable. 282 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:53,500 Hey, 283 00:10:53,525 --> 00:10:55,609 I'm not saying anything you don't know. 284 00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:57,178 You have other qualities. 285 00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:58,312 You're sturdy. 286 00:10:58,314 --> 00:10:59,980 Would've made a great defensive tackle. 287 00:10:59,982 --> 00:11:03,219 Well, see, Paula? That's-that's a genderless compliment. 288 00:11:03,244 --> 00:11:05,219 Yeah, you know, I always actually wondered 289 00:11:05,221 --> 00:11:07,188 if maybe Paula had a pecker, a little one, 290 00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:08,456 you know what I'm saying? 291 00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:09,690 Okay, never mind. I'm sorry. 292 00:11:10,689 --> 00:11:11,892 You know what? 293 00:11:12,228 --> 00:11:13,742 I'm gonna go to the market. 294 00:11:13,767 --> 00:11:15,362 'Cause I'll bet all you got in the fridge 295 00:11:15,364 --> 00:11:16,597 is artillery and vodka. 296 00:11:16,599 --> 00:11:18,244 Oh, I'm almost out of vodka. 297 00:11:18,814 --> 00:11:20,674 Go ahead. I'll stay with him. 298 00:11:21,104 --> 00:11:22,103 Bye. 299 00:11:25,174 --> 00:11:26,907 Hey, would you like to see 300 00:11:26,909 --> 00:11:29,143 a big turd I left in the toilet? 301 00:11:29,361 --> 00:11:31,545 No. Kinda. 302 00:11:41,924 --> 00:11:43,491 ? ? 303 00:11:43,493 --> 00:11:45,876 Jeff. 304 00:11:47,548 --> 00:11:49,697 Can I help you, ma'am? 305 00:11:53,770 --> 00:11:55,281 Who is that? 306 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,390 That's... 307 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,180 That's my Josh Chan. 308 00:12:06,688 --> 00:12:08,859 Is that your ex or something? 309 00:12:09,304 --> 00:12:11,124 Oh, he's not just any ex. 310 00:12:11,126 --> 00:12:14,390 He's... he's the one I never got over. 311 00:12:14,446 --> 00:12:15,812 I thought if I saw him again, I'd... 312 00:12:15,837 --> 00:12:17,764 I'd want to punch him in the face, 313 00:12:17,789 --> 00:12:21,490 but... instead I feel all warm and tingly inside, 314 00:12:21,492 --> 00:12:23,290 like glitter is exploding inside of me. 315 00:12:23,353 --> 00:12:25,141 So he was your first love? 316 00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:30,103 Oh, baby, he was my first everything. 317 00:12:30,426 --> 00:12:32,693 ? ? 318 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:42,103 ? I've thought about him for so long ? 319 00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:44,705 ? Those memories are crystal clear ? 320 00:12:44,707 --> 00:12:46,307 ? I was so young ? 321 00:12:46,309 --> 00:12:48,976 ? He was so big and strong ? 322 00:12:48,978 --> 00:12:51,846 ? I can't believe that he's right here ? 323 00:12:51,848 --> 00:12:55,349 ? I was such an innocent girl ? 324 00:12:55,351 --> 00:12:58,185 ? When we first met ? 325 00:12:58,187 --> 00:13:01,522 ? He opened up my eyes, showed me a whole new world ? 326 00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:04,825 ? So how could I ever forget? ? 327 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,361 ? The first penis I saw ? 328 00:13:07,363 --> 00:13:10,464 ? First penis, very first penis ? 329 00:13:10,466 --> 00:13:11,817 ? First penis ? 330 00:13:11,842 --> 00:13:14,576 ? Very first penis I saw ? 331 00:13:14,578 --> 00:13:18,113 ? First penis, very first penis, penis ? 332 00:13:18,115 --> 00:13:21,271 ? First penis ? ? Very first penis I saw ? 333 00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:23,870 ? And of all the penises I've seen ? 334 00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,806 ? His had the biggest impact ? 335 00:13:25,808 --> 00:13:27,240 ? And by that what I mean is ? 336 00:13:27,242 --> 00:13:30,310 ? It really made me drop my jaw ? 337 00:13:30,312 --> 00:13:33,834 ? 'Cause it was the very first penis I saw ? 338 00:13:40,122 --> 00:13:42,422 ? A few times before ? 339 00:13:42,424 --> 00:13:44,458 ? I felt it through his pants ? 340 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:47,260 ? And just generally kinda rubbed it ? 341 00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:50,797 ? But that night I decided to take a chance ? 342 00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:54,067 ? I took it out and he really seemed to love it ? 343 00:13:54,069 --> 00:13:57,170 ? I didn't know what to do next ? 344 00:13:57,172 --> 00:14:00,140 ? I didn't have that part planned ? 345 00:14:00,142 --> 00:14:04,111 ? He said, "Let me show you some basic moves" ? 346 00:14:04,113 --> 00:14:08,048 ? And then he took my hand ? 347 00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:09,282 ? And taught me all about the ? 348 00:14:09,284 --> 00:14:13,220 ? First penis, very first penis ? 349 00:14:13,222 --> 00:14:14,321 ? First penis ? 350 00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,656 ? Very first penis I saw ? 351 00:14:16,658 --> 00:14:20,360 ? First penis, very first penis, penis ? 352 00:14:20,362 --> 00:14:21,461 ? First penis ? 353 00:14:21,463 --> 00:14:23,530 ? Very first penis I saw ? 354 00:14:23,532 --> 00:14:26,800 ? Not the dirtiest, also not the cleanest ? 355 00:14:26,802 --> 00:14:30,437 ? In terms of penis, I really was the greenest ? 356 00:14:30,439 --> 00:14:33,206 ? I was in total awe ? 357 00:14:33,208 --> 00:14:37,044 ? Of the very first penis I saw ? 358 00:14:37,046 --> 00:14:40,614 ? ? 359 00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:49,456 He's coming! Bail on the turntable! 360 00:14:50,692 --> 00:14:54,728 ? I was so eager, I couldn't hide my keenness ? 361 00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:58,098 ? Everything about it seemed quite ingenious ? 362 00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:00,734 ? I couldn't find a single flaw ? 363 00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:03,170 ? In the first penis ? 364 00:15:03,172 --> 00:15:04,805 ? Very first penis ? 365 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,842 ? Very first penis I saw! ? 366 00:15:12,709 --> 00:15:14,514 Paula O'Brien? 367 00:15:14,516 --> 00:15:16,780 Jeff Channington. 368 00:15:18,226 --> 00:15:20,039 _ 369 00:15:21,156 --> 00:15:23,056 Heather, you're gonna have to step it up. 370 00:15:23,058 --> 00:15:24,791 I've been rocking the YouTube tutorials, 371 00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:27,758 and a simple pour ain't gonna win you this rodeo. 372 00:15:27,783 --> 00:15:29,663 I'm not in a rodeo. 373 00:15:29,665 --> 00:15:32,365 Hey, check this out. I call this the Big Boy. 374 00:15:32,851 --> 00:15:35,273 Who's thirsty? Who's thirsty? 375 00:15:35,298 --> 00:15:37,704 I'm a Big Boy! I'm a Big Boy! 376 00:15:37,706 --> 00:15:40,523 Oh, man, this is a barf. 377 00:15:42,377 --> 00:15:44,811 - You like that? - Yeah. 378 00:15:46,215 --> 00:15:48,203 All right! 379 00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:52,919 - Hey, I'm Teresa. - I'm Josh. 380 00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:54,187 I'm a big boy. 381 00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:56,456 I can see that. 382 00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,191 I love your Cocktail moves. 383 00:15:58,193 --> 00:16:01,528 - Thanks. It's called flair. - Cool. 384 00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:04,464 Hey, so you busy after work tomorrow night? 385 00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:07,853 Oh, I always get busy after work tomorrow night. 386 00:16:10,772 --> 00:16:13,707 That's good! 387 00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:19,595 I mean... this is unbelievable. 388 00:16:20,134 --> 00:16:23,283 So... you... back in town? 389 00:16:23,285 --> 00:16:25,585 I mean, I thought you were off living in Hollywood. 390 00:16:25,587 --> 00:16:28,121 Well, actually, uh, yes. Yes. Yes, I am. 391 00:16:28,123 --> 00:16:30,123 Yes, I'm back for a couple of days, yes. 392 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:32,826 Wow. I mean, you're just here for a couple of days 393 00:16:32,828 --> 00:16:35,295 and we ran into each other? That is crazy. 394 00:16:35,297 --> 00:16:38,031 Yeah. So weird, right? 395 00:16:38,033 --> 00:16:39,599 I mean, we haven't seen each other since... 396 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:42,502 You dumped me in the parking lot of the mall 397 00:16:42,504 --> 00:16:44,471 after we saw Fried Green Tomatoes. 398 00:16:44,473 --> 00:16:46,273 I'm sorry. 399 00:16:46,275 --> 00:16:47,674 What a jerk I was. 400 00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:48,975 Yeah, so ever since then, 401 00:16:48,977 --> 00:16:50,610 I hear Kathy Bates do a Southern accent, 402 00:16:50,612 --> 00:16:52,679 - and I have to leave the room. - You know, 403 00:16:52,681 --> 00:16:53,947 Paula, you were so cool 404 00:16:53,949 --> 00:16:55,715 and so funny and so smart. 405 00:16:55,717 --> 00:16:57,450 And you were the only girl in town 406 00:16:57,452 --> 00:16:58,732 who knew anything about Camaros. 407 00:16:59,555 --> 00:17:01,121 By the way, I'm restoring one. 408 00:17:01,123 --> 00:17:02,689 Yeah, I bought it on eBay. 409 00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:04,925 It's stupid, but it's my hobby. 410 00:17:05,414 --> 00:17:07,232 Always makes me think of you. 411 00:17:07,881 --> 00:17:10,388 - Me? - Yeah. 412 00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:16,076 Do you want to come and see it? 413 00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:18,958 Look, here's my card. 414 00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:21,859 In case you change your mind. 415 00:17:22,945 --> 00:17:26,012 ? ? 416 00:17:35,968 --> 00:17:38,792 I've never watched conservative news before. 417 00:17:38,794 --> 00:17:40,527 All the women look exactly the same, 418 00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:42,862 like they're old, blonde Miss USA?s. 419 00:17:43,422 --> 00:17:46,633 - Why is that? - Well, if we put 'em on the news, 420 00:17:46,635 --> 00:17:49,430 then we don't have to send 'em out to the glue factory. 421 00:17:50,572 --> 00:17:52,524 - Bob, that's terrible. - Eh... 422 00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,108 Bob, be real. You don't agree with all this stuff, right? 423 00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,177 I mean, you don't think everyone should own a gun? 424 00:17:57,179 --> 00:17:58,245 Oh, no. 425 00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,799 They should own two guns... 426 00:17:59,824 --> 00:18:01,848 one for animals, one for people. 427 00:18:01,850 --> 00:18:04,017 Bob! 428 00:18:04,019 --> 00:18:06,186 - God. Of course. - Here you go. 429 00:18:06,367 --> 00:18:08,947 Oh, ah... 430 00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:10,790 I don't know if I can. 431 00:18:10,792 --> 00:18:12,325 Sorry. I honestly 432 00:18:12,327 --> 00:18:14,327 don't know what my book says about alcohol. 433 00:18:14,329 --> 00:18:15,996 Your book? You mean like a Bible? 434 00:18:15,998 --> 00:18:18,231 Uh, kinda, but less sci-fi. Um... 435 00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:19,432 Oh... 436 00:18:19,434 --> 00:18:22,435 Okay, but alcohol's not really my trigger. 437 00:18:22,437 --> 00:18:24,604 "Trigger." Now you're speaking my language. 438 00:18:24,606 --> 00:18:26,039 Let's get sauced. 439 00:18:26,041 --> 00:18:28,064 Let's do some shots. 440 00:18:28,089 --> 00:18:29,609 - Come on. - Okay. 441 00:18:29,611 --> 00:18:31,411 The news is great on shots. 442 00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:32,946 - All right. - Here we go. 443 00:18:32,948 --> 00:18:34,147 All right, cheers. 444 00:18:35,684 --> 00:18:37,384 - Mmm. - Mmm. 445 00:18:37,386 --> 00:18:38,885 Whoo! 446 00:18:38,887 --> 00:18:41,988 - Ooh, it burns like a spicy salsa party! - Yes, yes. 447 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,890 - It feels so good. - Hey. 448 00:18:43,892 --> 00:18:45,125 - Hey! - Hi! 449 00:18:45,127 --> 00:18:47,360 Oh. This looks like a fun time. 450 00:18:47,362 --> 00:18:48,595 Uh-huh, yeah. Hey, Rebecca, do you 451 00:18:48,597 --> 00:18:50,230 have a second to come talk to me in the kitchen? 452 00:18:50,232 --> 00:18:51,331 Yeah, I'll be right there. 453 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:52,999 I'm just busy getting a C-plus 454 00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,534 in getting D-runk! 455 00:18:54,536 --> 00:18:56,036 Yeah. 456 00:18:57,539 --> 00:18:59,139 Oh, there you go. 457 00:18:59,141 --> 00:19:01,074 You're doing very well. She's doing very well. 458 00:19:01,076 --> 00:19:02,342 - Oh, thank you. - Very well. 459 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,601 _ 460 00:19:09,296 --> 00:19:11,563 ? ? 461 00:19:23,736 --> 00:19:26,687 I'm gonna whiz and, uh, hit the hay. 462 00:19:26,712 --> 00:19:27,935 Okay. 463 00:19:27,937 --> 00:19:30,337 - Good night, Bob. - That was fun. 464 00:19:30,697 --> 00:19:32,339 Oh, is Paula back yet? 465 00:19:32,341 --> 00:19:34,341 I wonder if she's in bed. 466 00:19:35,945 --> 00:19:37,311 Oh. 467 00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:43,458 _ 468 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,683 Sequoia. 469 00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:53,828 ? ? 470 00:20:00,904 --> 00:20:02,904 _ 471 00:20:04,874 --> 00:20:07,074 _ 472 00:20:08,254 --> 00:20:11,203 _ 473 00:20:13,539 --> 00:20:16,188 _ 474 00:20:16,212 --> 00:20:19,250 _ 475 00:20:19,274 --> 00:20:25,149 _ 476 00:20:26,706 --> 00:20:31,297 _ 477 00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:36,437 - _ - JEFF: You came! 478 00:20:42,219 --> 00:20:43,644 You're here. 479 00:20:44,024 --> 00:20:46,747 Well, I wanted to see the Z/28. 480 00:20:47,125 --> 00:20:49,717 And that is the only reason I'm here. 481 00:20:49,719 --> 00:20:52,019 Well... 482 00:20:52,021 --> 00:20:54,288 I don't care why you're here. 483 00:20:54,415 --> 00:20:56,382 I'm just happy to see you. 484 00:20:58,415 --> 00:21:02,217 You're throwing wrenches at me now? 485 00:21:04,236 --> 00:21:06,427 Hmm. 486 00:21:07,670 --> 00:21:09,236 Oh. Ooh. 487 00:21:09,238 --> 00:21:11,906 Ooh. 488 00:21:11,908 --> 00:21:14,308 Let's see. 489 00:21:18,281 --> 00:21:20,848 Big boy's back in the game. 490 00:21:20,850 --> 00:21:24,018 ? Who's got it? ? 491 00:21:24,020 --> 00:21:25,986 ? Got it... ? 492 00:21:27,528 --> 00:21:28,989 Oh, my God. 493 00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:31,621 What is that? 494 00:21:31,994 --> 00:21:36,840 No... Not today. I have a date. 495 00:21:37,538 --> 00:21:38,704 Ow. 496 00:21:38,729 --> 00:21:40,428 Ow! 497 00:21:46,742 --> 00:21:48,209 Good morning. 498 00:21:48,211 --> 00:21:50,010 Mm. 499 00:21:50,012 --> 00:21:52,495 - Did you sleep well? - Yeah. Hi. 500 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,781 Where were you last night? 501 00:21:53,783 --> 00:21:55,015 I got up to pee at some point, 502 00:21:55,017 --> 00:21:56,116 and I went to check on you, 503 00:21:56,118 --> 00:21:57,489 and you weren't in your bed. 504 00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,636 I may have number one'd in one of your drawers. 505 00:22:00,661 --> 00:22:03,457 No, I did. I definitely did. I'm sorry, I was drunk. 506 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,159 I went out. 507 00:22:05,161 --> 00:22:07,394 I, uh... saw an old friend who was fixing up 508 00:22:07,396 --> 00:22:10,965 an old Camaro downtown, and I happen to love those, so... 509 00:22:10,967 --> 00:22:12,266 Oh, right, you love cars. 510 00:22:12,268 --> 00:22:14,068 I always forget that because it doesn't interest me. 511 00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:15,302 Well, I'm glad you did that. 512 00:22:15,304 --> 00:22:17,527 Good for you. You deserve to have 513 00:22:17,552 --> 00:22:19,051 a little late-night party fun. 514 00:22:19,076 --> 00:22:20,741 You never do anything for yourself. 515 00:22:20,743 --> 00:22:24,144 - Well, you know. Sometimes I do. - You really don't, though. 516 00:22:24,412 --> 00:22:26,780 You're always too busy being a good wife and mom 517 00:22:26,782 --> 00:22:29,239 and friend and co-worker. 518 00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:30,530 You're like everyone's big spoon. 519 00:22:30,532 --> 00:22:32,146 You're so reliable. 520 00:22:34,869 --> 00:22:36,269 You look so pretty. Where you going? 521 00:22:36,271 --> 00:22:39,005 Oh, um... I'm going to see the friend. 522 00:22:39,007 --> 00:22:40,440 Who's your friend? 523 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:41,941 My friend? Um... 524 00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:43,309 He... she... 525 00:22:43,311 --> 00:22:44,610 She's a she. 526 00:22:44,612 --> 00:22:46,186 Sheila Girlface. 527 00:22:47,842 --> 00:22:49,549 "Sheila Girlface"? 528 00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:52,045 Yeah, well, it's Girlfacce, 529 00:22:52,353 --> 00:22:55,588 but, you know, they had to change it at Ellis Island. 530 00:22:55,590 --> 00:22:57,223 Assimilation is a rape. 531 00:22:57,225 --> 00:22:58,224 Anyway, uh, my friend invited me 532 00:22:58,226 --> 00:23:00,460 to Saturday Mass this morning. 533 00:23:00,462 --> 00:23:01,727 You want to come? 534 00:23:01,729 --> 00:23:03,896 Uh... Oh, it sounds awesome. 535 00:23:03,898 --> 00:23:04,737 Um... 536 00:23:04,762 --> 00:23:06,732 but Bob and I got to check his traps. 537 00:23:06,734 --> 00:23:09,253 For raccoons, and people's stupid small dogs. 538 00:23:09,278 --> 00:23:10,970 Both make cool hats, apparently. 539 00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:13,906 Wow, you two... really get along. 540 00:23:13,908 --> 00:23:15,141 I'm sorry. Is it annoying? 541 00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:16,442 Should I stop? I can stop. 542 00:23:16,444 --> 00:23:17,710 It's a little annoying, 543 00:23:17,712 --> 00:23:19,912 but, listen, you're really doing me a favor. 544 00:23:19,914 --> 00:23:21,781 You're taking care of him, and so I'm free 545 00:23:21,783 --> 00:23:22,915 to do what I want to do, 546 00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:25,020 which is go to church. 547 00:23:25,995 --> 00:23:27,528 Okay, bye. 548 00:23:27,553 --> 00:23:29,388 Okay. Tell God I say... 549 00:23:29,390 --> 00:23:31,614 well, he knows how I feel. 550 00:23:33,768 --> 00:23:34,933 Thank God. 551 00:23:35,029 --> 00:23:36,929 I was waiting for her to leave. 552 00:23:36,931 --> 00:23:40,500 Was so wasted last night, I went in one of her drawers. 553 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,534 So did I. 554 00:23:41,536 --> 00:23:43,202 I thought that was you! 555 00:23:56,551 --> 00:23:59,519 - Hey. - Hey! 556 00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:01,187 This is a nice surprise. 557 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:02,388 I have baseball practice. 558 00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:03,623 What are you doing here? 559 00:24:03,625 --> 00:24:04,657 Well, Madison said to meet her. 560 00:24:04,659 --> 00:24:06,559 She wanted to practice her slider. 561 00:24:06,561 --> 00:24:07,593 Ah. 562 00:24:07,595 --> 00:24:08,628 Ooh. 563 00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:11,430 Oh, look. She's like the sweetest... 564 00:24:11,432 --> 00:24:14,267 Sliders are not really a thing in softball, are they? 565 00:24:14,269 --> 00:24:15,234 Uh... 566 00:24:15,236 --> 00:24:16,702 Oh, look at that little sleep sack. 567 00:24:16,704 --> 00:24:18,511 Isn't that cute? 568 00:24:18,536 --> 00:24:20,894 What a clever solution for transitioning 569 00:24:20,919 --> 00:24:22,585 out of the swaddle. 570 00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:24,043 Wait a second. 571 00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:25,511 Did you set this up? 572 00:24:25,513 --> 00:24:27,547 Are you trying to force the baby issue again? 573 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:28,981 What? No! Me? No. 574 00:24:28,983 --> 00:24:30,750 I mean, I'm not even here to meet you. 575 00:24:30,752 --> 00:24:33,119 I'm here to meet Madis... oh. 576 00:24:33,121 --> 00:24:34,554 Oh, my God. 577 00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,222 Oh, man. 578 00:24:37,144 --> 00:24:38,791 No. This must have been Madison. 579 00:24:38,793 --> 00:24:40,026 No, she does stuff like this. 580 00:24:40,028 --> 00:24:41,550 Oh, she is so clever. 581 00:24:41,575 --> 00:24:44,230 What she did was she knew that there was a baby shower today, 582 00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:45,898 and she had both of us come here 583 00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:47,675 so we could have our little baby fight. 584 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:49,969 Why would she want that? 585 00:24:49,971 --> 00:24:52,271 Well, because she wants to break us up 586 00:24:52,273 --> 00:24:54,113 - because she wants a sibling. - Oh. 587 00:24:54,138 --> 00:24:55,793 Oh. Wow. 588 00:24:55,818 --> 00:24:58,688 Yeah, I mean, she's really trying to push the issue 589 00:24:58,713 --> 00:25:00,012 because, you know, you and I 590 00:25:00,014 --> 00:25:02,148 have been at this impasse so long. 591 00:25:02,150 --> 00:25:04,722 Yeah. Yeah, we have. 592 00:25:11,893 --> 00:25:13,392 Joshua. 593 00:25:16,105 --> 00:25:18,105 The truth is... 594 00:25:19,736 --> 00:25:22,033 ... oh, this is so hard to do, because I... 595 00:25:22,337 --> 00:25:24,377 I love you a lot, but... 596 00:25:25,093 --> 00:25:27,894 I'm not happy anymore because of this. 597 00:25:31,584 --> 00:25:34,347 Maybe having a baby... started out as a whim, 598 00:25:34,349 --> 00:25:36,936 but it's what I want for my life now. 599 00:25:36,961 --> 00:25:39,418 And you don't want a baby, maybe not ever. 600 00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:42,288 I mean, you made that clear, and, t-that's not gonna change. 601 00:25:42,290 --> 00:25:43,834 Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. 602 00:25:44,859 --> 00:25:47,627 I mean, I am always gonna care about you. 603 00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:48,895 I really am. 604 00:25:51,669 --> 00:25:53,466 'Cause I love you. 605 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:57,411 I... I love you, too. 606 00:25:58,139 --> 00:25:59,458 But... 607 00:26:02,972 --> 00:26:05,139 Yeah. 608 00:26:06,581 --> 00:26:07,852 Oh. 609 00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,860 Oh, wait. So this is... 610 00:26:13,287 --> 00:26:15,344 Yeah, I guess it is. 611 00:26:20,899 --> 00:26:22,625 God, this sucks. 612 00:26:25,733 --> 00:26:27,279 I don't know what to do... Can we... 613 00:26:27,502 --> 00:26:30,236 Can we still be friends, or... ? 614 00:26:30,238 --> 00:26:32,084 I don't know. I mean, I would love that. 615 00:26:33,001 --> 00:26:35,872 But that just sounds so hard right now. 616 00:26:37,451 --> 00:26:39,812 Did a nine-year-old just trick us into doing something 617 00:26:39,814 --> 00:26:41,631 we weren't brave enough to do ourselves? 618 00:26:42,049 --> 00:26:45,342 I think so. 619 00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:49,523 Huh. 620 00:26:53,594 --> 00:26:55,928 I don't understand what you feel so bad about. 621 00:26:55,930 --> 00:26:58,385 So you had a little phone action with some guy. 622 00:26:58,410 --> 00:27:00,099 Where's the harm in that? 623 00:27:00,101 --> 00:27:01,400 I mean, I do it, too. 624 00:27:01,402 --> 00:27:04,904 For $9.95 an hour, you get a real French girl. 625 00:27:05,112 --> 00:27:07,698 - They're not French, Bob. - They're French enough. 626 00:27:08,268 --> 00:27:09,935 Go ahead. Give it another try. 627 00:27:10,078 --> 00:27:12,712 Are you sure? I don't want to break more stuff. 628 00:27:14,515 --> 00:27:17,416 Oh, come on. Live a little. 629 00:27:17,418 --> 00:27:19,985 Have a vodka, dingle yourself 630 00:27:19,987 --> 00:27:21,821 while you're texting a guy, 631 00:27:21,823 --> 00:27:24,656 throw a dart out the window. Go ahead. 632 00:27:25,173 --> 00:27:27,359 Or behind you. Throw it behind you. 633 00:27:27,361 --> 00:27:30,062 How does that feel? Feels good, right? 634 00:27:30,064 --> 00:27:31,530 Yeah, you know what? 635 00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:34,641 It does feel good to be outside the bubble. You're right. 636 00:27:35,471 --> 00:27:37,604 I'm having the best time right now. 637 00:27:37,872 --> 00:27:39,241 You're like the dad I never had. 638 00:27:39,266 --> 00:27:40,399 You didn't have a dad? 639 00:27:40,424 --> 00:27:42,077 I do, but he sucks. 640 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:46,811 I'll get it. 641 00:27:47,148 --> 00:27:48,748 ? ? 642 00:27:54,388 --> 00:27:56,522 ? I just made a new buddy ? 643 00:27:56,524 --> 00:28:02,061 ? He and I bonded right away ? 644 00:28:02,063 --> 00:28:04,263 ? I got only good things to say ? 645 00:28:04,265 --> 00:28:06,031 ? About my friend's dad ? 646 00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:08,684 ? My friend's dad ? 647 00:28:10,071 --> 00:28:13,005 ? It's all the fun of having a dad ? 648 00:28:13,007 --> 00:28:15,141 ? Without the painful history ? 649 00:28:15,143 --> 00:28:17,009 ? She has spunk ? 650 00:28:17,011 --> 00:28:18,611 ? And he's a literal drunk ? 651 00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:20,446 ? But that don't bother me ? 652 00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:22,412 ? 'Cause he's not my dad ? 653 00:28:23,340 --> 00:28:25,005 ? He's my friend's dad ? 654 00:28:26,220 --> 00:28:28,020 ? It's the healthiest relationship ? 655 00:28:28,022 --> 00:28:29,321 ? I've had with a man ? 656 00:28:29,323 --> 00:28:31,529 ? That fact I must confess ? 657 00:28:32,026 --> 00:28:34,138 ? He doesn't push my buttons ? 658 00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:36,862 ? 'Cept the buttons on this cute dress... ? 659 00:28:36,864 --> 00:28:38,831 Doot, doot, doot! 660 00:28:38,833 --> 00:28:40,332 ? It's nothing but platonic ? 661 00:28:40,334 --> 00:28:42,268 ? His bigotry's ironic... ? 662 00:28:42,270 --> 00:28:43,536 I like you. 663 00:28:43,538 --> 00:28:46,505 You barely complain for a Jewish. 664 00:28:46,507 --> 00:28:48,100 Oh, you. 665 00:28:48,376 --> 00:28:50,843 ? If we were related ? 666 00:28:50,845 --> 00:28:53,512 ? We'd probably fight a lot ? 667 00:28:53,514 --> 00:28:55,147 ? Wait, what about Jews? ? 668 00:28:55,149 --> 00:28:56,182 ? Here, have some more booze ? 669 00:28:56,184 --> 00:28:57,583 ? What was I saying? Oh, well ? 670 00:28:57,585 --> 00:28:59,018 ? I forgot, glug, glug ? 671 00:28:59,020 --> 00:29:00,366 ? My friend's dad ? 672 00:29:01,467 --> 00:29:03,333 ? My friend's dad ? 673 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,493 ? And when she's not around ? 674 00:29:07,495 --> 00:29:09,728 ? I think about her naked... ? 675 00:29:09,730 --> 00:29:11,063 - Huh? - Nothing, kiddo. 676 00:29:11,065 --> 00:29:13,583 ? My friend's dad. ? 677 00:29:19,852 --> 00:29:24,024 The V8 engine is man's greatest artistic achievement. 678 00:29:24,063 --> 00:29:26,657 Yeah, it's like the Sistine Chapel of car stuff. 679 00:29:32,705 --> 00:29:34,104 ? Do you believe... ? 680 00:29:34,106 --> 00:29:35,806 You want to dance? 681 00:29:36,649 --> 00:29:38,275 Me? 682 00:29:38,277 --> 00:29:40,944 Do you see any other beautiful women in here? 683 00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:43,146 Uh... 684 00:29:43,148 --> 00:29:45,015 ? In letting ? 685 00:29:45,017 --> 00:29:46,283 ? Me hold... ? 686 00:29:46,285 --> 00:29:48,452 Oh. 687 00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:49,886 ? You tight... ? 688 00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:51,154 What? 689 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,627 ? Kissed you good night ? 690 00:29:57,629 --> 00:30:00,397 ? I want to know ? 691 00:30:00,399 --> 00:30:01,765 ? Please tell me so... ? 692 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:02,899 What are we doing? 693 00:30:02,901 --> 00:30:06,269 We're just two old friends, catching up. 694 00:30:06,271 --> 00:30:07,904 ? Do you believe... ? 695 00:30:07,906 --> 00:30:09,706 Going back in time. 696 00:30:10,091 --> 00:30:12,037 Like Outlander. 697 00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:13,410 What? 698 00:30:16,910 --> 00:30:21,662 Oh, God, you make me feel like... I am 17 again, 699 00:30:21,687 --> 00:30:23,520 and all my worries 700 00:30:23,522 --> 00:30:24,944 are just gone. 701 00:30:26,058 --> 00:30:28,291 In my real life, I'm always someone's mom, 702 00:30:28,293 --> 00:30:30,894 someone's best friend, someone's errand girl, 703 00:30:30,896 --> 00:30:35,532 but... you... make me feel... 704 00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:38,063 ... special. 705 00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:45,342 And you make me feel like a terrible dancer. 706 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:46,510 You got moves. 707 00:30:46,512 --> 00:30:47,644 Wha... oh, ooh! 708 00:30:51,717 --> 00:30:53,383 ? Whoa, whoa, whoa ? 709 00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:54,918 ? Ooh ? 710 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:56,453 ? Yeah... ? 711 00:31:00,356 --> 00:31:01,745 So... 712 00:31:02,378 --> 00:31:04,161 Uh, I'll call you? 713 00:31:04,503 --> 00:31:05,894 I guess. 714 00:31:06,398 --> 00:31:08,534 - Is that... - Yes, no. I... 715 00:31:09,565 --> 00:31:11,868 I'll just see you around. Maybe? 716 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:14,404 Well, we've been saying good-bye for about two hours. 717 00:31:14,406 --> 00:31:16,373 So, guess we should... 718 00:31:16,574 --> 00:31:19,058 - probably go. - Yeah, you're right. 719 00:31:19,988 --> 00:31:21,578 Who should go first? 720 00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:22,612 Uh... 721 00:31:22,614 --> 00:31:24,081 Here comes the big boy. 722 00:31:27,419 --> 00:31:29,653 Hey, there. Can I make you a Joshtini? 723 00:31:29,655 --> 00:31:31,822 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 724 00:31:31,824 --> 00:31:33,190 Sit down, sit down. Look at this. 725 00:31:33,192 --> 00:31:35,225 Oh, no. Actually, we're on our way out. 726 00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:36,760 What? No. No, you can't leave. 727 00:31:36,762 --> 00:31:38,462 What are you... look at Josh. 728 00:31:38,464 --> 00:31:40,163 You guys can't miss this. 729 00:31:41,133 --> 00:31:42,799 He thinks he's Tom Cruise in Cocktail. 730 00:31:42,801 --> 00:31:44,201 - It-it's amazing. - Yeah. 731 00:31:44,203 --> 00:31:45,502 Cannot be missed. 732 00:31:46,472 --> 00:31:48,271 Okay. I'm staying. 733 00:31:48,273 --> 00:31:50,240 Yes. You're making the right call. 734 00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:52,776 Ah... 735 00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:57,247 I'm starting to worry about Paula. 736 00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:58,348 She's not answering her phone, 737 00:31:58,350 --> 00:32:00,717 she's been at church for, like, nine hours. 738 00:32:00,719 --> 00:32:01,718 Church? 739 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,121 - Nine hours on a Saturday? - Well, yeah. 740 00:32:04,123 --> 00:32:05,655 I mean, she said she ran into a friend 741 00:32:05,657 --> 00:32:07,192 with, like, a cool Camaro or something? 742 00:32:07,217 --> 00:32:09,919 Um, oh, right, her name is Sheila Girlfacce. 743 00:32:10,295 --> 00:32:12,496 You probably know her as Sheila Girlface. 744 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:14,264 So, that's a fake name. I fell for that. 745 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:16,700 Camaro? I know what this is about. 746 00:32:16,702 --> 00:32:18,835 Come on, let's go. 747 00:32:20,639 --> 00:32:23,740 ? You told me... ? 748 00:32:23,742 --> 00:32:26,355 - Can I ask you something? - Anything. 749 00:32:28,066 --> 00:32:30,409 Do you ever think about us? 750 00:32:31,581 --> 00:32:34,484 Do you ever regret... our breakup? 751 00:32:34,486 --> 00:32:36,920 ? But there is one thing... ? 752 00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:39,833 - You want the truth? - I really do. 753 00:32:40,536 --> 00:32:43,627 Yeah. I regret it. 754 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:44,895 Big-time. 755 00:32:44,897 --> 00:32:46,897 ? Before you... ? 756 00:32:46,899 --> 00:32:48,632 Really? 757 00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:51,973 Yeah. I never should've let you go. 758 00:32:52,645 --> 00:32:54,337 It was a big mistake. 759 00:32:54,339 --> 00:32:58,175 ? When you leave me, no... ? 760 00:32:59,406 --> 00:33:01,286 Ooh! Well... 761 00:33:02,364 --> 00:33:05,692 that was all I needed. 762 00:33:05,966 --> 00:33:07,131 What? 763 00:33:07,614 --> 00:33:09,686 Yeah. 764 00:33:09,688 --> 00:33:11,888 Take one step closer to her 765 00:33:11,890 --> 00:33:14,357 and I'll turn you into a great soprano. 766 00:33:18,687 --> 00:33:22,568 - Paula, what's going on? Who is that? - This is Jeff, 767 00:33:22,593 --> 00:33:24,860 the guy that broke Paula's heart. 768 00:33:24,862 --> 00:33:26,061 She drew pictures 769 00:33:26,086 --> 00:33:30,061 of his Johnson with hearts around it for years after that. 770 00:33:30,086 --> 00:33:32,219 Dad, why do you know that? 771 00:33:32,244 --> 00:33:34,836 Because you left your diary on that shelf in the bathroom. 772 00:33:34,838 --> 00:33:38,288 Dad, would you put the gun down? I was leaving, anyway. 773 00:33:42,530 --> 00:33:45,180 It was so good to see you again 774 00:33:45,182 --> 00:33:47,215 and it was so good 775 00:33:47,217 --> 00:33:49,616 to hear you say what you said. 776 00:33:52,085 --> 00:33:53,696 Thank you. 777 00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:58,260 All right, let's go. Give me the keys. 778 00:33:58,262 --> 00:33:59,961 - I'm driving. - No, no, no, it's okay. Bob can drive. 779 00:33:59,963 --> 00:34:02,130 He drives really well when he's drunk. 780 00:34:11,308 --> 00:34:13,942 Ah, yeah. 781 00:34:13,944 --> 00:34:15,243 Damn. 782 00:34:15,245 --> 00:34:17,045 ? Like a curtain... ? 783 00:34:19,316 --> 00:34:21,183 ? She's a beauty, I'm the beast... ? 784 00:34:21,185 --> 00:34:23,251 Oh, my gosh. 785 00:34:23,253 --> 00:34:25,102 Yeah, he's really going for it. 786 00:34:25,622 --> 00:34:27,016 Oh. 787 00:34:27,357 --> 00:34:29,991 - Oh! - What is that thing on his face? 788 00:34:29,993 --> 00:34:31,261 I don't know, but it's alive. 789 00:34:31,286 --> 00:34:33,728 I can't look away. I should, but I can't. 790 00:34:37,023 --> 00:34:38,656 Whoa. 791 00:34:40,304 --> 00:34:41,816 Oh, my God. 792 00:34:43,822 --> 00:34:47,613 Whoa. Josh, um, your face is infected. 793 00:34:48,045 --> 00:34:51,146 You didn't, like, touch some dirty glasses 794 00:34:51,148 --> 00:34:53,748 and then try to pop a pimple on your face, did you? 795 00:34:53,750 --> 00:34:56,560 No, I'm not an idiot. 796 00:34:56,585 --> 00:34:58,386 You're just afraid to compete. 797 00:34:58,388 --> 00:35:00,422 No. I'm serious. 798 00:35:00,424 --> 00:35:02,090 I think that's a staph infection. 799 00:35:05,696 --> 00:35:07,462 ? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. ? 800 00:35:07,464 --> 00:35:08,530 Here we go. 801 00:35:08,532 --> 00:35:11,866 ? Light shining through the window... ? 802 00:35:11,868 --> 00:35:13,368 Huh? You like that? 803 00:35:17,140 --> 00:35:20,875 ? Window ? -? Like light through a window... ? 804 00:35:20,877 --> 00:35:22,883 For you, my lady. 805 00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:24,646 Hey, Josh. 806 00:35:24,648 --> 00:35:29,117 So, um, I'm a nurse and that looks like a staph infection. 807 00:35:29,119 --> 00:35:30,785 Guys, I'm fine. 808 00:35:30,787 --> 00:35:31,886 Check this out. 809 00:35:31,888 --> 00:35:35,490 ? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ? 810 00:35:35,492 --> 00:35:38,627 ? And we'll be on... ? 811 00:35:43,142 --> 00:35:44,742 I'm gonna go. 812 00:35:45,669 --> 00:35:46,701 Bye. 813 00:35:47,638 --> 00:35:48,737 So, you didn't kiss? 814 00:35:48,739 --> 00:35:50,505 No, thank God. 815 00:35:50,507 --> 00:35:51,673 Scott was right. 816 00:35:51,675 --> 00:35:54,376 I have always treated him like the consolation prize 817 00:35:54,378 --> 00:35:56,475 and it's because Jeff rejected me. 818 00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,980 He was always this ideal thing 819 00:35:58,982 --> 00:36:01,783 that I couldn't have, but I got to reject him, 820 00:36:01,785 --> 00:36:06,054 so now he's no longer on some kind of pedestal. 821 00:36:06,056 --> 00:36:08,089 I can finally move on from wondering 822 00:36:08,091 --> 00:36:10,725 what could've been with Jeff Channington 823 00:36:10,727 --> 00:36:14,740 because this time I got to make the choice. 824 00:36:15,152 --> 00:36:16,431 Wow. 825 00:36:16,433 --> 00:36:17,899 Paula, I just, it blows my mind 826 00:36:17,901 --> 00:36:19,334 that I didn't know any of this. 827 00:36:19,336 --> 00:36:21,355 You know that I want you to tell me this stuff, right? 828 00:36:21,380 --> 00:36:25,206 Babe... you are trying to get better 829 00:36:25,208 --> 00:36:27,709 after something really huge and traumatic. 830 00:36:27,734 --> 00:36:29,611 I do not want to burden you. 831 00:36:29,613 --> 00:36:31,012 I want to take care of you. 832 00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:33,022 No, no, no, that's what you've always done, Paula, and... 833 00:36:34,518 --> 00:36:36,451 I love that ever since we met 834 00:36:36,453 --> 00:36:38,154 you have tried to be like my mom, 835 00:36:38,179 --> 00:36:40,880 but from now on, 836 00:36:41,191 --> 00:36:43,792 how about we just be best friends? 837 00:36:43,794 --> 00:36:46,194 But you're the little spoon and I'm the big spoon 838 00:36:46,196 --> 00:36:47,295 and that's how it works. 839 00:36:47,297 --> 00:36:48,530 I mean, you said so yourself. 840 00:36:48,532 --> 00:36:49,664 I shouldn't have said that. 841 00:36:49,666 --> 00:36:50,781 That's not what we should be. 842 00:36:51,765 --> 00:36:53,335 I mean, 'cause you know what size spoons 843 00:36:53,337 --> 00:36:54,469 fit together the best? 844 00:36:54,471 --> 00:36:55,637 No. 845 00:36:56,117 --> 00:36:57,906 Same-size spoons. 846 00:36:58,126 --> 00:36:59,828 Aw. 847 00:37:00,711 --> 00:37:01,820 Hey. 848 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:04,646 They do. That's perfect. 849 00:37:04,648 --> 00:37:06,414 Yeah, I just thought of that. 850 00:37:06,416 --> 00:37:08,483 I like that. Same-size spoons. 851 00:37:08,485 --> 00:37:09,451 Okay. 852 00:37:09,453 --> 00:37:12,820 I like it. 853 00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:23,190 How you feeling, flair champ of West Covina? 854 00:37:23,192 --> 00:37:25,292 I have ten more days of antibiotics. 855 00:37:25,294 --> 00:37:26,860 You were right. 856 00:37:26,862 --> 00:37:28,328 It was a staph infection. 857 00:37:28,779 --> 00:37:30,564 Heather, I could've died. 858 00:37:30,566 --> 00:37:33,433 I took people's germs and smeared them into my face. 859 00:37:33,435 --> 00:37:35,002 Mm-hmm. 860 00:37:35,004 --> 00:37:36,336 Feel so stupid. 861 00:37:36,338 --> 00:37:37,905 I was so wrong. 862 00:37:37,907 --> 00:37:40,173 I'm not a big boy, I'm a small boy. 863 00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:43,911 Oh. Look, dumb stuff happens to all of us, Josh. 864 00:37:43,913 --> 00:37:45,612 Don't, like, beat yourself up. 865 00:37:45,825 --> 00:37:47,548 And also, you're a man. 866 00:37:47,934 --> 00:37:50,684 Oh, that was the word. 867 00:37:50,686 --> 00:37:51,818 Mm-hmm. 868 00:37:53,531 --> 00:37:55,064 Heather... 869 00:37:55,767 --> 00:37:57,463 I'm spiraling. 870 00:37:58,193 --> 00:37:59,893 I have no apartment, 871 00:37:59,895 --> 00:38:02,162 no relationship, no career goals. 872 00:38:02,164 --> 00:38:05,766 I just... feel like there's no ground under me, you know? 873 00:38:05,768 --> 00:38:08,335 Yeah. Well, you'll figure it out. 874 00:38:08,337 --> 00:38:10,337 I'm still figuring things out 875 00:38:10,339 --> 00:38:12,906 and I'm, like, way smarter and cooler than you are. 876 00:38:12,908 --> 00:38:14,942 Are you? 877 00:38:14,944 --> 00:38:17,744 Yeah. I am. You do magic. 878 00:38:17,746 --> 00:38:19,014 Exactly. 879 00:38:19,847 --> 00:38:21,413 Exactly. 880 00:38:23,709 --> 00:38:25,218 All right. 881 00:38:25,220 --> 00:38:26,920 We got to get to the airport. 882 00:38:29,291 --> 00:38:32,960 So, um, thanks for trying to shoot Jeff, Dad. 883 00:38:32,962 --> 00:38:34,261 - Meant a lot. - Yeah, well, 884 00:38:34,263 --> 00:38:35,762 thanks for coming and visiting me. 885 00:38:35,764 --> 00:38:38,932 I mean, I know I'm just an old pain who reads your diaries 886 00:38:38,934 --> 00:38:40,233 and number-twos in your drawers. 887 00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,569 - What? - Bob, you're the worst. 888 00:38:43,372 --> 00:38:45,072 Okay, let's go. 889 00:38:45,074 --> 00:38:46,718 Hey, wait a minute, Paula. Uh... 890 00:38:47,276 --> 00:38:49,476 Rebecca tells me that you're, uh, 891 00:38:49,478 --> 00:38:51,011 first in your class in law school. 892 00:38:51,013 --> 00:38:52,546 Um... 893 00:38:52,548 --> 00:38:54,736 I didn't know you were smart like that. 894 00:38:56,252 --> 00:38:57,517 Yeah, I am. 895 00:38:57,519 --> 00:38:58,852 I'm really smart. 896 00:38:58,854 --> 00:39:00,854 All right, you don't have to hit me over the head with it. 897 00:39:00,856 --> 00:39:02,155 But, uh, 898 00:39:02,157 --> 00:39:04,691 it would be nice if you guys came back and visited again. 899 00:39:04,693 --> 00:39:07,728 - Thanks, my friend's dad. - Oh. 900 00:39:07,730 --> 00:39:09,096 Okay, I'll be in the car. 901 00:39:09,121 --> 00:39:12,088 Okay. 902 00:39:20,690 --> 00:39:23,176 - Hi. - Hi. 903 00:39:23,178 --> 00:39:24,778 How was your trip? 904 00:39:25,213 --> 00:39:29,116 So, remember the day I chased you around the conference room 905 00:39:29,118 --> 00:39:32,252 and then jumped on you like a flying squirrel move? 906 00:39:32,254 --> 00:39:34,354 I do. Yes. 907 00:39:34,356 --> 00:39:36,957 Okay, stand back. 908 00:39:42,686 --> 00:39:44,887 Mmm. 909 00:39:46,295 --> 00:39:48,562 ? ? 910 00:39:55,377 --> 00:39:59,513 Are you sure this is okay with your therapy thing? 911 00:39:59,515 --> 00:40:01,035 Just shut up. 912 00:40:07,289 --> 00:40:08,355 What? 913 00:40:08,357 --> 00:40:10,157 We shouldn't keep pie in here. 914 00:40:10,676 --> 00:40:12,159 Hey, honey. 915 00:40:12,746 --> 00:40:14,127 How's your dad? 916 00:40:14,129 --> 00:40:15,754 Same. 917 00:40:16,865 --> 00:40:18,665 Mm, want some? 918 00:40:18,667 --> 00:40:19,691 Sure. 919 00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,842 So, I want to talk to you about something. 920 00:40:28,844 --> 00:40:30,377 It's important. 921 00:40:30,660 --> 00:40:32,590 If I could... 922 00:40:32,915 --> 00:40:36,149 go through a magical stone wall and pick any man 923 00:40:36,151 --> 00:40:39,416 in any time period... in any universe... 924 00:40:40,522 --> 00:40:42,923 I would pick Brad Pitt in Thelma & Louise. 925 00:40:42,925 --> 00:40:45,459 Strong choice. Me same. 926 00:40:45,461 --> 00:40:47,643 And when he turned me down... 927 00:40:49,998 --> 00:40:51,465 ... I'd pick you. 928 00:40:51,830 --> 00:40:53,100 Really? 929 00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:54,634 Yeah. 930 00:40:54,636 --> 00:40:56,103 Every day of the week. 931 00:40:56,105 --> 00:40:58,004 Right back at you. 932 00:41:01,477 --> 00:41:03,577 So, I went to Buffalo, 933 00:41:03,579 --> 00:41:04,911 drank a ton of vodka, 934 00:41:04,913 --> 00:41:06,513 sexted with a guy, 935 00:41:06,515 --> 00:41:08,148 damaged a house with darts and urine, 936 00:41:08,150 --> 00:41:09,783 got in a car with a drunk guy... oops... 937 00:41:09,785 --> 00:41:12,018 Watched that guy threaten another guy with a gun, 938 00:41:12,020 --> 00:41:13,887 and I farted a ton on the plane on the way back 939 00:41:13,889 --> 00:41:15,055 because no one could hear it, 940 00:41:15,057 --> 00:41:16,956 and I just had a ton of sex with my ex-boss. 941 00:41:17,448 --> 00:41:21,695 So, how's that for getting out of the therapy bubble? 942 00:41:21,697 --> 00:41:24,839 Wow, that is not in any workbook I know of. 943 00:41:24,864 --> 00:41:28,735 You know, my whole life, I've only known how to be, like, 944 00:41:28,737 --> 00:41:31,404 really good or really bad. 945 00:41:31,406 --> 00:41:34,507 But being a human... 946 00:41:36,671 --> 00:41:39,012 ... is living in that kind of in-between space, 947 00:41:39,014 --> 00:41:41,210 it's making mistakes, and that's very scary, but... 948 00:41:42,117 --> 00:41:43,650 also very cool. 949 00:41:43,652 --> 00:41:45,418 Great work. 950 00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,054 You, my friend, get an A-plus on your C-plus. 951 00:41:48,056 --> 00:41:49,156 Yes! 952 00:41:49,158 --> 00:41:51,755 And I got this just for you. 953 00:41:51,780 --> 00:41:53,113 Pick one. 954 00:41:53,306 --> 00:41:55,272 Oh. 955 00:41:55,297 --> 00:41:56,411 Oh, yeah. 956 00:41:56,436 --> 00:41:58,973 It smells like grape. 957 00:41:58,997 --> 00:42:03,583 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com --