1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:04,880
I can't believe Roman's
private Animal Control company

2
00:00:04,904 --> 00:00:06,549
shut down Precinct 17.

3
00:00:06,573 --> 00:00:08,511
I'm really gonna miss
their annual crab boil.

4
00:00:08,536 --> 00:00:10,486
Same. Martha always
brought the best weed.

5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,967
Roman took over 17 just to shut it down.

6
00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,726
If he's going
in numerical order, we're...

7
00:00:16,983 --> 00:00:18,146
Almost next.

8
00:00:18,171 --> 00:00:20,463
Oh, don't sully your worldview.
That's my job.

9
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,887
And here's the purple nightmare now.

10
00:00:23,438 --> 00:00:25,167
Start packing your personal items.

11
00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:27,188
I don't think you're tall enough
to ride that ride.

12
00:00:27,213 --> 00:00:28,412
Wanna hear the song of the summer?

13
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:29,449
- Not really.
- No!

14
00:00:29,474 --> 00:00:31,306
Car... play my radio jingle.

15
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:32,475
Playing jingle.

16
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,910
If you want animals
in and out of your life,

17
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:36,703
- Wow.
- Call Pax Romana

18
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,376
from 9:00 to 5:00.

19
00:00:38,436 --> 00:00:40,033
And after hours.

20
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,887
- Awful!
- Pretty catchy.

21
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:47,607
I mean, at least the officers
seem to be taking it well.

22
00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,752
Oh great! They released the animals.

23
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:56,325
Truck 46! It's Noah's Ark!

24
00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:26,310
www.subtitulamos.tv

25
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,248
Guess what I taught myself this weekend?

26
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,401
You just gave a rabbit pinkeye meds,

27
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,170
and now you're fondling community fruit.

28
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,894
Oh, come on, let him glow, Frank.

29
00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:38,374
Ever since his family left town,
his battery's recharged.

30
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,563
He's like the second half

31
00:01:39,588 --> 00:01:41,251
of one of those allergy
medicine commercials.

32
00:01:41,276 --> 00:01:42,257
I'm in hell.

33
00:01:42,282 --> 00:01:43,957
I've been here a while.
I'll show you around.

34
00:01:43,982 --> 00:01:47,016
This little non-kosher nightmare
won't sleep in the kennel,

35
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,684
so I was babysitting it all night.

36
00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:50,619
All right, pipe down. Pinkies up.

37
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:51,687
It's tea time.

38
00:01:51,711 --> 00:01:54,023
Oh, that's a cool brooch.
What is that, a beaver?

39
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,167
Oh, this is, uh,
lapel insignia was given

40
00:01:56,192 --> 00:01:59,532
to all the precinct supervisors
as a gift from our commandant.

41
00:01:59,557 --> 00:02:02,298
It represents our state animal,
the Olympic Marmot.

42
00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:04,433
Of course, you would know
nothing about the Olympics.

43
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:06,401
- Boom, direct hit.
- Yo!

44
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,359
Did you just cosign his burn?

45
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,295
Yes.

46
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,958
Because we are at war with Roman.

47
00:02:11,983 --> 00:02:14,296
So, Templeton and I have
forged a coalition

48
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,959
of unpleasant necessity.

49
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:17,274
What?

50
00:02:17,299 --> 00:02:18,920
Believe me, I'm doing this reluctantly.

51
00:02:18,945 --> 00:02:21,119
But somehow, Roman is beating us

52
00:02:21,144 --> 00:02:22,481
to every single call.

53
00:02:22,506 --> 00:02:24,420
So we gotta get faster, sharper,

54
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:26,446
speed up our response time.

55
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,226
You almost lost your nose.

56
00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:29,814
Valid point, Officer Shaw.

57
00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:32,028
Okay, would you all stop
gasping every time

58
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:33,062
Frank and I agree?

59
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,196
If it makes you feel better,

60
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:35,431
this is a marriage of convenience.

61
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:36,857
I still find him detestable.

62
00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:38,785
But let's stay focused and talk tech.

63
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,569
I've invited the city's sharpest,

64
00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:44,670
least offensive-smelling IT guy
to come upgrade our system,

65
00:02:44,695 --> 00:02:47,323
so Pax Romana will no longer
have the upper hand.

66
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,985
Wait, it's not Alex, is it?

67
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:51,781
Every time I make eye contact
with him during his small talk,

68
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:52,948
he asks me out.

69
00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,547
I... I can't keep pretending
that I have bone cancer.

70
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:57,787
Yeah. It's Alex. And I need you, Frank,

71
00:02:57,811 --> 00:03:00,122
in my office to discuss next steps.

72
00:03:00,146 --> 00:03:01,991
You don't have next steps, do you?

73
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,216
I do not.

74
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,094
Here's what we do.

75
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:07,229
We lock the doors, we order a pizza,

76
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,465
and we stay in all night
till we have a plan.

77
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,633
- I have a plan.
- Okay.

78
00:03:10,657 --> 00:03:12,735
I still wanna order pizza
'cause I'm in the mood now.

79
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,271
Listen, Roman got a bunch
of hedge fund money, like...

80
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:18,881
WeWork 10 years ago
or Coca Cola in the 1890s.

81
00:03:18,984 --> 00:03:21,317
He's been hiring people like crazy.

82
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:23,646
You're saying we need
to raise some money,

83
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,015
and you're thinking a bikini car wash.

84
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:29,085
Genius. Now all we have to do
is convince our female officers

85
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,419
to get soapy and naked.

86
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:32,355
Obviously I'd outsource the women.

87
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,390
I actually think we should
send in a plant

88
00:03:34,414 --> 00:03:36,392
to interview at Roman's company.

89
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,128
Someone sharp and handsome,
who once punched a heavy bag

90
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:40,422
- so hard it split.
- Here we go...

91
00:03:40,447 --> 00:03:41,448
Okay, I'll do it.

92
00:03:41,473 --> 00:03:44,142
Dumbest idea ever.
He knows you hate him.

93
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:46,302
You know who'd be great
undercover? Daisy.

94
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,871
But she's on a mission today,
impersonating me

95
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,306
at a dentist appointment.

96
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,141
I have no follow-up questions.

97
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,098
We need to find someone pure.

98
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,269
- Trustworthy.
- Yeah.

99
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:57,763
A total dork-ass.

100
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,272
Total dork-ass.

101
00:04:03,237 --> 00:04:07,564
Oh! Aloha, my friends.
Just jammin' on a puzzle here.

102
00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:09,858
She's the one.

103
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:12,995
If you want animals
in and out of your life,

104
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:16,264
call Pax Romana from 9:00 to 5:00.

105
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,691
And after hours.

106
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:20,228
- Nice! Dude...
- Very nice.

107
00:04:20,253 --> 00:04:22,136
I never heard your voice before.
You can really sing.

108
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,206
Well, you know, I was in
a band in middle school.

109
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:25,841
You know, I still got
my drums at the office.

110
00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,711
I mean, if you ever wanted
to jam, we should... pfff.

111
00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:29,078
I would love that.

112
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,212
Yeah? Me too.

113
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,315
You know, this loose dog call
is right by my apartment.

114
00:04:32,339 --> 00:04:34,829
We could stop there,
pick up my guitar. Huh?

115
00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:37,353
Not... that today is the day
to be messing around.

116
00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,021
No, but, you know, we do have to break

117
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:40,289
for lunch at some point.

118
00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,313
We do have to break for lunch.

119
00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:44,560
Is this a thousand-piece
puzzle of Waikiki?

120
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,095
Please, Frank, I don't get outta bed

121
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,463
for anything under three K.

122
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:48,998
Okay, it's awesome.

123
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:51,600
I am having a little
trouble filling my days.

124
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,424
Lot of puzzles,
lot of chats with cashiers.

125
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,205
Well, your thrill ride continues.

126
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,841
We need you for
an Animal Control mission.

127
00:04:57,866 --> 00:04:59,375
Um, yeah, I could take a break anyways,

128
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,310
but I'm missing a piece
in this one section.

129
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,742
It's driving me crazy!

130
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:05,114
Oh, focus up! Are you in or are you out?

131
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,516
In or out of what? I thought
I was banned from the precinct.

132
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:09,905
You're not going in the office.
This is an undercover mission.

133
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:12,053
Like when we took down
that exotic animal ring.

134
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,856
My mom just gave me her wedding dress

135
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,423
if you need that for the character.

136
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,126
- You'll be playing yourself.
- Oh, myself.

137
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,351
- As...
- You.

138
00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:20,489
We need you to interview
at Pax Romana and find out

139
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,998
how Roman is scooping our calls.

140
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,333
He'll buy it,
'cause you're out for blood,

141
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:26,135
for getting suspended for boinking Shred

142
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,503
on the office couch.

143
00:05:27,527 --> 00:05:30,106
Hell hath no fury like a woman
temporarily suspended

144
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,807
from her city service job.

145
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,928
You in?

146
00:05:34,973 --> 00:05:36,224
Right there.

147
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:40,726
You think you're obsessed
with me, watch this sad sack.

148
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,010
Hey.

149
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,546
I'll get to yours in a sec.

150
00:05:45,571 --> 00:05:48,747
This guy's got a lot
of sesame seeds in his keyboard.

151
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,022
It's Victoria.

152
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:53,420
Of course.

153
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,233
It's nice to see you.

154
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:57,991
Okay.

155
00:05:58,324 --> 00:05:59,835
So, we applied for a job

156
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:02,538
at Pax Romana
under the name Tabitha Buttons.

157
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,272
But I go by Tabs,

158
00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,609
a nickname given to me by my nephew.

159
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,600
No!

160
00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,678
Again, the fake name
is just to get you in the door.

161
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,047
After that, you're Emily Price.

162
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,316
Disgraced older woman
looking for revenge.

163
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,092
Okay. Right. Uh, right, right, right.

164
00:06:15,117 --> 00:06:16,852
It's just, um, yeah, lying as me

165
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:19,588
feels different than
disappearing into a persona.

166
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,863
But, um, maybe if I spell
Emily with two M's

167
00:06:22,888 --> 00:06:24,160
on the sign-in sheet...

168
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,995
Why don't we practice? Um...

169
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,022
I'm Roman Park, I wish to be a real boy.

170
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,299
Why would you turn your back

171
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,078
on your lowly Animal Control precinct?

172
00:06:32,103 --> 00:06:33,536
Well, I wouldn't call us lowly

173
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,633
'cause, uh, have a wonderful
new event space...

174
00:06:35,658 --> 00:06:37,254
- Ehhn! Wrong answer.
- Oh.

175
00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:40,309
I understand you were suspended
for being a sexual predator.

176
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,577
True or very true?

177
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,179
Okay. Um, yeah. You know, uh...

178
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,480
maybe I should not do this.

179
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,483
You're not gonna be alone in there.

180
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,752
We're gonna hear the whole thing
through a wire.

181
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:51,861
She sweats, so we need
to double-bag the mic.

182
00:06:51,886 --> 00:06:53,589
Wait, wait, wait. I'm wearing a wire?

183
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,858
No, no, no, I can't do this. I mean...

184
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,424
Sue-Bell, Sue-Bell could do this.

185
00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:01,488
Or Boston Tony. He's wicked smart.

186
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,456
But Emily Price? Uh, n-no.

187
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,368
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot.

188
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,603
She's deeply unwell, Frank.
What do we do?

189
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,381
I think it's pretty obvious.

190
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,966
Toby, has my 11:15 arrived yet?

191
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,210
And is she hot?

192
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:16,722
Oh, she's smokin' hot.

193
00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:20,572
I'm Tabitha Buttons.

194
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,653
Grumpus.

195
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:28,076
It's hard for me to buy
that you want to work for me.

196
00:07:28,101 --> 00:07:30,701
Workin' for the city... wears on a man.

197
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,562
And since this regime change,

198
00:07:32,587 --> 00:07:35,742
what little joy I had in
my life has been extinguished.

199
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,200
And I would like for you
to be my new little joy.

200
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,142
I don't know, I mean,
Templeton can't be that bad.

201
00:07:41,167 --> 00:07:42,672
He's the worst boss I've ever had.

202
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:43,952
Forced weigh-ins,

203
00:07:43,977 --> 00:07:45,947
extensive paperwork for every break.

204
00:07:45,972 --> 00:07:47,734
Toby! Mint Milanos.

205
00:07:47,966 --> 00:07:49,058
Now!

206
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,313
I hate the man.

207
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,730
If there was some sort of
worldwide loser competition,

208
00:07:52,755 --> 00:07:53,748
he would lose it.

209
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:55,518
And on his way to accept
his consolation prize,

210
00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:56,652
his pants would fall down.

211
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,954
That's how much of a loser this guy is!

212
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:00,890
He's just saying stuff, Templeton.

213
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:01,857
I know. Shut up.

214
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,359
And I'm not just saying stuff.

215
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,791
The man is a flavorless wad of gum.

216
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,754
Okay, fine. I'll go out with you.

217
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,190
What?

218
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,235
You've asked me out,
like, several times.

219
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:16,505
So I just-I wanted to come
over here and make your day

220
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,328
and say... fine.

221
00:08:19,038 --> 00:08:20,146
Sounds fun.

222
00:08:20,171 --> 00:08:23,311
It's just, I'm so busy
right now with work.

223
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,471
Yep.

224
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,949
You got a little something
on your, uh, on your hair.

225
00:08:29,275 --> 00:08:30,210
It's slop.

226
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,023
- I'm sorry?
- It's slop.

227
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,213
I'm gonna...

228
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,184
I'm a realist.

229
00:08:39,209 --> 00:08:41,285
Tech bro with a chip on his shoulder

230
00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:44,438
from being bullied as a teen
always wins in the end.

231
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:46,559
Toby, you hear that?

232
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,153
He called me brilliant!
Frank, call me brilliant again.

233
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,369
You're brilliant.

234
00:08:51,394 --> 00:08:56,099
That level of tush-kissing
is exactly what I'm looking for.

235
00:08:56,124 --> 00:08:58,878
But for me to even think
about hiring you,

236
00:08:59,225 --> 00:09:02,261
you need to pass my loyalty test.

237
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,080
Toby! My kit.

238
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:09,082
Five, six, seven, eight!

239
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,162
I'm over the pig.

240
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,464
I gotta find a farm
or something to take it.

241
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:18,021
We are in the middle of band practice.

242
00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:19,581
Are we in a band?

243
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:21,637
Uh, yeah, I think so. I mean, if it...

244
00:09:21,661 --> 00:09:23,101
If it feels right.

245
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,063
It feels really right, man.

246
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,384
Right?

247
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,377
Wow, what a special moment.

248
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,735
Uh, I'm really happy for you dopes,

249
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,582
but I'm gonna need you to watch the pig

250
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,371
so I can take a shower.

251
00:09:35,396 --> 00:09:37,486
So I can feel like a normal woman again.

252
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,382
- And, oh, take my scrunchie.
- I don't...

253
00:09:39,407 --> 00:09:42,224
It calms it down 'cause it
smells like me, so just...

254
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:43,726
And don't let it eat it.

255
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,483
Actually, uh...
it's a pig, it'll be fine.

256
00:09:46,861 --> 00:09:48,863
So, this loyalty test.

257
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,900
Look, I'll eat anything you want, but...

258
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,902
I'll have thoughts
if there's a wine pairing.

259
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,994
I have something else in mind.

260
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,101
An extra large straight razor.

261
00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,643
O-okay, maybe we should step in.
I mean, this is getting intense.

262
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,311
Stand down. It's in God's hands now.

263
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,480
Well, if you're truly committed
to Pax Romana,

264
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,927
you'll let me shave you.

265
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:07,507
- Okay, Frank loves that beard.
- Frank's gonna cave.

266
00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:09,229
- He'll never go for that.
- We're about to be made.

267
00:10:09,254 --> 00:10:10,920
Fine. Let's unveil the full face.

268
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,655
Just get ready for the lady stampede.

269
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,223
Oh, I don't want your beard, Frank.

270
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:18,251
What I'm about to smooth out
is a bit more tender.

271
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:21,588
Your armpit.

272
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,165
Take your shirt off.

273
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,157
Okay.

274
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,136
This is, uh, freaky, even for you.

275
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,337
Nips out, Shaw.

276
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,506
Oh, unless, of course,
you're wearing a wire.

277
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,430
A wire?

278
00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,498
Why would I be wearing a wire?

279
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:40,239
And you said my wire
up the pants idea was stupid.

280
00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:44,010
You may not believe this,
but this is the first time

281
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:46,916
I have shaved another man's armpit.

282
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,726
And I find it hard to believe
how, with no dispatch,

283
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,329
you always get to animal calls
before we do.

284
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,354
Oh, that?

285
00:10:54,673 --> 00:10:58,477
I planted a bug in your truck,
so I hear all the calls.

286
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,843
Toby! Screen.

287
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:03,763
Yeah. See?

288
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:07,310
All right. Done.
You passed the loyalty test.

289
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:08,543
All right.

290
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:12,445
Welcome to the tech rev... oh... gosh.

291
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:15,351
Wi-Fi is spotty again.
Sorry. One second about that.

292
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,803
Toby!

293
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,622
I like Orphan Hog.
I'm not mad at Daylight Dingo.

294
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:21,457
Again, I really like The Mulberries.

295
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,625
But that's not very punk rock.

296
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,160
Yes, but are we punk rock?

297
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,194
I'm punk rock.

298
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,363
Really? 'Cause there's
nothing punk rock about...

299
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,355
Wow.

300
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:29,731
- Wow!
- Okay.

301
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:31,567
Slash and Axl, where's the pig?

302
00:11:32,852 --> 00:11:34,068
The pig?

303
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,238
You're kidding.

304
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,272
He was...

305
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,964
I should've just taken it in the shower!

306
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:41,978
Well, I haven't found a bug,

307
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,846
But I keep finding
these corn nuts in the seats.

308
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,748
- Those are lug nuts.
- No, I'm eating around those.

309
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:47,049
Okay, Roman's tech is next level,

310
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,884
so whatever device he might've planted,

311
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,547
it might be so small that we missed it.

312
00:11:50,572 --> 00:11:52,755
Well, let's check again.
And not just by looking.

313
00:11:52,779 --> 00:11:54,757
We need to finger every crevice.

314
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,049
I heard that.

315
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,339
Sup, bros? And bra.

316
00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:05,433
Ha! Crazy camelid escaped
from a petting zoo

317
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,004
just two blocks away from your precinct.

318
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:09,410
Good thing I was here

319
00:12:09,435 --> 00:12:12,427
'cause it looks like you guys
have some car trouble.

320
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,401
Wait.

321
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:16,045
There was never a bug.

322
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,747
Except for the one in your pants!

323
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,374
It is a delight

324
00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:22,909
watching you two halfwits
trying to work together.

325
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:24,037
Oh, and kitten?

326
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,077
Yes?

327
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,148
Good luck finishing Waikiki
without this.

328
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,664
Is that my lifeguard head?

329
00:12:30,689 --> 00:12:33,694
Did you... did you break
into my home, you maniac?

330
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:36,589
I can't hear you! I'm driving away!

331
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:38,599
If only you could chase me!

332
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:42,695
Tabitha Buttons will be posting
on Glassdoor about this!

333
00:12:44,944 --> 00:12:47,442
Here, Piggy! Piggy!

334
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,443
Pig?

335
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,712
What was the pig's name again?

336
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,171
Uh, I didn't give it one

337
00:12:51,196 --> 00:12:53,534
because it was supposed
to be gone by now.

338
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:57,210
Pig?

339
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:59,479
Ah! Oh, no.

340
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,435
He's not here.

341
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,270
Just that dude. Hi.

342
00:13:08,397 --> 00:13:11,533
You just lifted a 500-pound
vending machine.

343
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:13,235
That was mom strength.

344
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,838
This pig has changed you,
like, on a molecular level.

345
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,273
What?! No, it has...

346
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,733
I'm an Animal Control officer, I...

347
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,911
I look for animals. It's what I do.

348
00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,113
Oh, there you are! Look who
I found in the parking lot.

349
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,115
Oh, my God! Thank God! Give it!

350
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,017
- Okay! Okay, okay.
- Hey, hey! It's okay.

351
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,210
It's okay. It's okay.

352
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:34,453
Don't you ever do that again.
I was worried sick.

353
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,893
So, this whole thing

354
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,236
was just a homoerotic smokescreen.

355
00:13:40,261 --> 00:13:42,464
I mowed my armpit for nothing!

356
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:45,601
Going undercover was your idea.
I wanted to do a car wash.

357
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,131
You know what? I am done

358
00:13:47,156 --> 00:13:49,905
with this whole coalition
of unpleasant necessity.

359
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:52,165
Fine! Leave me holding the bag.

360
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,843
Roman takes over Animal Control.

361
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:55,911
The precinct goes down on my watch.

362
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,337
That's my legacy.

363
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,485
Oh, my God, that's my...

364
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,401
That's my legacy.

365
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,453
Well, what about me?

366
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,023
I already got drummed out
of the real police.

367
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:10,291
What's the next stop
on this downbound train?

368
00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,281
Campus cop? Mall security?

369
00:14:12,306 --> 00:14:13,408
Mature modeling?

370
00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:15,522
Sure, I got the jaw for it, but...

371
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,524
could I even pass for over 40?

372
00:14:17,549 --> 00:14:19,883
All I ever wanted was to be a boss.

373
00:14:20,739 --> 00:14:22,641
Lord my powers over others.

374
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:25,640
Lose that drab uniform.

375
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,534
Flex my office-casual looks.

376
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:34,015
I... is someone crying?

377
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,421
Yeah. I think it's Templeton.

378
00:14:37,182 --> 00:14:38,953
What the heck is going on in here?

379
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,627
Are you... are you guys crying?

380
00:14:40,652 --> 00:14:42,634
Oh, no, he's crying.
I'm pretending not to listen.

381
00:14:42,659 --> 00:14:44,955
Okay, hey, hey, hey. You need
to snap out of it. Okay?

382
00:14:44,980 --> 00:14:47,810
You're the boss. You don't cry
in front of the other officers, okay?

383
00:14:47,835 --> 00:14:50,166
You go across the street,
you order a matcha,

384
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,234
and then you cry in
the ladies room like a big boy.

385
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,669
And then you come back in here,

386
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,068
confident you have all the answers,

387
00:14:55,093 --> 00:14:56,639
'cause they need to know
that you got this.

388
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:57,958
I agree, this is disgusting.

389
00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:00,642
And-and you, you're supposed
to be bucking him up.

390
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:03,346
I mean, this is the worst
alliance I've ever seen.

391
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,581
I mean, look at... hi. Look at them.

392
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,984
They are scared that
they're gonna lose their jobs.

393
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,218
They need to see you

394
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,320
being strong together, so just...

395
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:12,624
get it together!

396
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,824
Oh, my God, is that a new couch?

397
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,125
Yeah, yours is on the roof.

398
00:15:16,276 --> 00:15:18,542
I figured it'd seen enough action.

399
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,128
You wanna have a band meeting tonight?

400
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,103
I think we have to.
Things are getting weird.

401
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,372
I can't tonight because me
and Emily are going antiquing.

402
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,140
You're gonna pick
a girlfriend over the band?

403
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:33,509
Well, this band has existed
for about four hours,

404
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,978
so I'm not sure why you're
being so intense about this.

405
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:37,122
Well... you...

406
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,015
Four hours is a very long time

407
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,683
when you only have
seven weeks of freedom.

408
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,818
Also, it feels like
my buddy isn't there for me.

409
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:43,830
'Kay, buddy?

410
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,488
I wanna be there for you, I really do,

411
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,192
but if I'm being honest,

412
00:15:47,524 --> 00:15:48,735
we shouldn't have a band.

413
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:49,935
It's not because I don't like you,

414
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,387
It's just that we sound
really, really bad, man.

415
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:54,130
You know, but by all means,
you should play with

416
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,264
some of your other friends.

417
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,999
I don't have any other friends.

418
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,297
That's why I took up juggling.

419
00:15:58,322 --> 00:16:00,136
'Cause I don't have anybody
to play catch with.

420
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,692
God, that's a haunting image.

421
00:16:01,717 --> 00:16:03,673
The house is empty, bro. I'm lonely.

422
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,975
Almost as if I didn't realize
how quiet the house would be

423
00:16:05,999 --> 00:16:07,443
without four screaming kids.

424
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,146
All right, can I have
everyone's attention, please?

425
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,281
All right, I know things seem
a little bleak right now,

426
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:14,116
but we have something
that Roman does not.

427
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,868
We have the best damn officers
in Seattle!

428
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,703
Pax Romana is not indomitable.

429
00:16:23,928 --> 00:16:26,061
Even the real Roman Empire fell.

430
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,431
Fell so far that Italian
accents are the only ones

431
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,434
we are still allowed to make fun of.

432
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,191
I gotta get the meatball
to the Colosseum!

433
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,397
Okay, you also...
you also might've heard

434
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,130
some stuff in there.

435
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,142
You were crying.

436
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,236
But rest assured, I got this.
We got this.

437
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,147
Frank hit it out of the park today.

438
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,391
He's my real MVP.

439
00:16:46,416 --> 00:16:48,784
Thanks, Chief. The coalition
is stronger than ever.

440
00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:49,919
So, as a gesture,

441
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,154
he gets to wear my leadership pin.

442
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,858
Till the end of the day.

443
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,434
Why is it so heavy?

444
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,259
What?

445
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,067
The bug.

446
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,445
- It's in the pin.
- What?

447
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:09,338
That's how Roman's been
listening to us. Think about it!

448
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,464
I need to destroy that pin!

449
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:12,565
Wait.

450
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,100
Not yet.

451
00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:17,045
Dispatch to all available trucks.

452
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:21,274
We have reports of a rabid dog
loose at 1515 Alonzo Boulevard.

453
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,308
Game time.

454
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,077
Right around the corner.

455
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,370
Please be advised
the animal is dangerous.

456
00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:31,264
Proceed with caution.

457
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:33,899
Truck 12, on it.

458
00:17:34,258 --> 00:17:35,636
Go get 'em, Frank.

459
00:17:35,661 --> 00:17:38,569
This could make up for
all the calls we lost today.

460
00:17:44,452 --> 00:17:46,841
All right, all right, all right.

461
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,344
Let's go in heavy, boys.

462
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,845
Fire up the mini birds.

463
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,238
Everyone on thermal vision.

464
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,345
Come on. Chop, chop!

465
00:17:58,381 --> 00:17:59,621
_

466
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,757
We are here at
the Veterans Administration

467
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:05,227
Long Term Care, where residents
are recovering from the shock

468
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,763
of seeing their beloved
therapy dog, Schwarzkopf,

469
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,522
netted before their eyes.

470
00:18:09,656 --> 00:18:12,401
Those eyes which have
already seen so much.

471
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,538
Roman Park, owner of a private
animal control company

472
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:18,407
responsible for the attack,
had this to say.

473
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,111
I feel terrible, Tracey.

474
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:21,978
I know we came with a lot of firepower,

475
00:18:22,002 --> 00:18:25,014
and that smoke grenade in
the rec room was all my fault.

476
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,282
And that triggered some flashbacks.

477
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,506
And for that...

478
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,875
I apologize.

479
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:30,445
Luckily, Seattle Animal Control

480
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:33,289
was quickly on the scene with
trained behavior specialists.

481
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,113
It's okay, you're safe now.

482
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,159
I mean, as safe as you can be in this

483
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:39,116
ever-collapsing civilization.

484
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,287
Thank you for your service.

485
00:18:42,965 --> 00:18:46,301
The human touch.
Sometimes that's all it takes.

486
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:48,593
I'm Tracey Palladino, back to you.

487
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:50,872
We did it.

488
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,165
No, Frank...

489
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,933
We did it.

490
00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,973
We really pulled it off.

491
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:58,781
Is he gonna cry again?

492
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,947
No, he's not.

493
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,772
Where's Emily?
She should be here for this.

494
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:05,779
Hey.

495
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,824
Hey. You weren't kidding about my couch.

496
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:09,977
What is that smell?

497
00:19:10,002 --> 00:19:12,194
Oh, the janitors
have their cigar night up here.

498
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:13,440
You missed the news.

499
00:19:13,465 --> 00:19:15,865
Palladino really took it
to Roman. It was awesome!

500
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:19,220
Yeah, I wanted to let
you guys have your moment.

501
00:19:20,186 --> 00:19:22,163
Uh, okay. I'm gonna go.

502
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,706
Oh, maybe don't. Maybe don't.

503
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,807
What do you mean?

504
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,614
Well, I was thinking of lifting
your temporary ban,

505
00:19:26,639 --> 00:19:28,972
having you come back to the office.

506
00:19:29,578 --> 00:19:31,613
In what role exactly?

507
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,783
Well, not in a position
of authority, obviously.

508
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:35,945
And I can't have you around
unaccompanied men.

509
00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:38,187
Okay, it feels like you're
trying to ask me for a favor,

510
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,089
so maybe just make it
sound a little nicer.

511
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:42,058
Okay, I don't know what role yet.

512
00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:43,682
We'll figure it out.

513
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,483
But I need you here.

514
00:19:46,278 --> 00:19:48,614
Well, I can't do another puzzle.

515
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,213
Mostly 'cause I think
I've done them all.

516
00:19:52,645 --> 00:19:54,380
Yeah! Yeah, I'll come back.

517
00:19:54,405 --> 00:19:57,419
But I'd like my couch
steam-cleaned and then saged,

518
00:19:57,444 --> 00:19:59,297
and then steam-cleaned again.

519
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,344
Deal, but you gotta bring it downstairs.

520
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,382
- Okay.
- 'Kay.

521
00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:03,846
'Cause I'm not doing that.

522
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:04,771
Okay.

523
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,508
'Kay.

524
00:20:10,874 --> 00:20:14,522
Hey. Got your computer talking
to the printer again, so...

525
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,733
you should be all good.

526
00:20:15,758 --> 00:20:18,094
Well, I don't need to print
the flyers anymore,

527
00:20:18,118 --> 00:20:19,638
because the band...

528
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:21,096
split up.

529
00:20:21,121 --> 00:20:22,999
Hey, I've been there, man.
It's the worst.

530
00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:24,624
- You play?
- Bass.

531
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:25,725
Wow.

532
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,737
Let me tell you something.
You didn't just lose a band.

533
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:28,794
You lost a dream.

534
00:20:28,819 --> 00:20:30,516
- Yeah.
- Let's go grab a beer.

535
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:32,008
Unpack it. What do you say?

536
00:20:32,032 --> 00:20:33,472
That'd be amazing.

537
00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,012
Do you like to play catch?

538
00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:37,220
- Well...
- Actually...

539
00:20:37,245 --> 00:20:39,048
let's save the questions
for the brewskies.

540
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,227
Broski.

541
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,987
Would you look at that?

542
00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:47,957
Alex asked Patel out and
I'm stuck here with a bottle.

543
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,526
I've officially swapped lives
with my partner.

544
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:53,129
It makes you feel better,
I actually put Alex up to it.

545
00:20:53,153 --> 00:20:54,676
Patel's been kinda lonely lately.

546
00:20:54,701 --> 00:20:56,298
I should probably give you a name, huh?

547
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:57,433
You want a name?

548
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,297
Yeah? What about...

549
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,569
What about Piggy Stardust?

550
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,272
- Do you like that name?
- Mmm. Yeah.

551
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:05,341
I'm still gonna
eat pork sometimes, okay?

552
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,165
But I love you. I love you.

553
00:21:09,013 --> 00:21:12,993
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