1
00:00:14,726 --> 00:00:15,809
Oh.

2
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:19,187
- "You have received a new review on Yelp."
- Oh.

3
00:00:19,188 --> 00:00:21,606
"Genuinely horrible bar,
sticky floors, warm beer."

4
00:00:21,607 --> 00:00:23,275
- Sticky floors?
- That's a knock on you.

5
00:00:23,276 --> 00:00:25,485
- That's a knock on you.
- You don't want slippery floors.

6
00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:26,695
- Is that what they want?
- Exactly.

7
00:00:26,696 --> 00:00:28,905
Oh, I'm sorry, as soon as I clean that,

8
00:00:28,906 --> 00:00:31,033
I put another stick down
so that people won't slip.

9
00:00:31,034 --> 00:00:34,453
Uh, this one just says,
"Don't come to this Albanian bar."

10
00:00:34,454 --> 00:00:36,413
What? We are not an Albanian bar!

11
00:00:36,414 --> 00:00:37,664
- I hate Albanians!
- What... Mac.

12
00:00:37,665 --> 00:00:40,292
- You don't even know where Albania is.
- Do we like Albania now?

13
00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:42,753
- Well, either way...
- Albanians are nice people.

14
00:00:42,754 --> 00:00:45,088
...other people are dictating
whether we're a good bar

15
00:00:45,089 --> 00:00:48,467
or a bad bar or an Albanian bar
or not and then, you know, like,

16
00:00:48,468 --> 00:00:51,553
we gotta do something to get back
on the right side of the community here.

17
00:00:51,554 --> 00:00:53,388
You know, get them back on our side.

18
00:00:53,389 --> 00:00:55,474
Hi, good afternoon.
Would you be interested

19
00:00:55,475 --> 00:00:57,642
in making a donation
to our Little League baseball team?

20
00:00:57,643 --> 00:01:00,020
Get out of here,
you little begging Albanian rats!

21
00:01:00,021 --> 00:01:01,396
Mac! What are you...

22
00:01:01,397 --> 00:01:04,107
Well, sorry, I... I'm mad at a website,

23
00:01:04,108 --> 00:01:06,401
and I didn't mean
to call you Albanian. That's mean.

24
00:01:06,402 --> 00:01:08,695
No, it's not mean
to call somebody Albanian, okay?

25
00:01:08,696 --> 00:01:09,780
- There's nothing wrong with--
- I'm sorry,

26
00:01:09,781 --> 00:01:12,157
- I don't understand my own racism.
- Just stop, okay?

27
00:01:12,158 --> 00:01:13,492
Let... Will you let the child speak?

28
00:01:13,493 --> 00:01:17,455
Uh, we can come back later
if you need some time to calm down.

29
00:01:18,039 --> 00:01:19,331
- No.
- We're calm.

30
00:01:19,332 --> 00:01:20,999
- I'm calm as shit.
- We are perfectly calm.

31
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,626
Did I not say let the child speak?

32
00:01:22,627 --> 00:01:24,503
- You are the child, are you not?
- Yeah?

33
00:01:24,504 --> 00:01:26,339
- So speak, child, speak.
- You better talk.

34
00:01:26,923 --> 00:01:28,423
Uh... Okay.

35
00:01:28,424 --> 00:01:30,509
We were hoping to get new gear
for our tournament.

36
00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:33,261
We have candy for $5, hats for $30,

37
00:01:33,262 --> 00:01:35,639
and if you sponsor our team,
we'll put your name on our jerseys.

38
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,516
- Yeah, Mac was right.
- This is begging.

39
00:01:37,517 --> 00:01:39,226
- They are Albanians!
- Get out of here!

40
00:01:39,227 --> 00:01:42,020
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
wait, wait, wait. Sponsor?

41
00:01:42,021 --> 00:01:43,981
You mean we could buy a baseball team?

42
00:01:45,441 --> 00:01:47,734
Uh, I mean, we're just selling
candy and stuff.

43
00:01:47,735 --> 00:01:50,529
Silence, child! Frank has a plan brewing.

44
00:01:50,553 --> 00:01:53,013
Frank, what are you thinking?

45
00:01:55,469 --> 00:01:58,450
_

46
00:01:58,474 --> 00:02:05,474
credits

47
00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:20,574
{\an8}I just wanted to say thank you
for saving our team.

48
00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:23,745
{\an8}You really have no idea how much
this means to our community.

49
00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:28,361
{\an8}Oh. Good, good.
Put it in your review, okay, hon?

50
00:02:28,386 --> 00:02:29,637
- Yeah.
- What review?

51
00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:32,127
The Albanian one. I...
I don't know,

52
00:02:32,128 --> 00:02:33,754
the one that we were talking about before.

53
00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:36,923
I got oranges here!
Fresh oranges for the boys.

54
00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:40,177
Nothing surly about that.
Just bringing in some vitamin C.

55
00:02:40,178 --> 00:02:41,928
- Would you like an orange?
- No, I'm okay.

56
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:44,890
You should try one
'cause they're really good for you.

57
00:02:44,891 --> 00:02:46,558
- I'm good.
- Can you take a fucking orange?

58
00:02:46,559 --> 00:02:47,684
- It's a heavy pail.
- Okay.

59
00:02:47,685 --> 00:02:48,769
There you go.

60
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:50,771
Yeah, you'll want to write about that
in the review.

61
00:02:50,772 --> 00:02:52,439
Coach, can we have a word real quick?

62
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,592
- Yeah.
- Sure, fellas, what's going on?

63
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:56,777
Well, who do you like in the three-hole?

64
00:02:56,778 --> 00:02:59,613
Wow, I haven't decided yet.
I don't know, Bradley?

65
00:02:59,614 --> 00:03:03,075
Ah, we thought you were going to say that.
Yeah, we don't love Bradley, right?

66
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:04,451
Don't love Bradley in the three.

67
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,454
Yeah, I don't think he's got the stuff.
Also, what's going on with Jason?

68
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,749
Need a little more pepper
out of that bat, don't we?

69
00:03:10,589 --> 00:03:12,256
You're hazing me.

70
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:15,158
I love it. I love it. Hey!

71
00:03:16,005 --> 00:03:17,006
Everybody!

72
00:03:19,217 --> 00:03:21,051
Hey, everybody, I'm Coach Bob.

73
00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:24,554
I just want to say thank you
to our new sponsors for hosting us today.

74
00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:27,849
And I just wanna say
I'm really, really proud

75
00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:29,684
of the effort we've given
so far this year.

76
00:03:29,685 --> 00:03:32,854
We're not perfect, right?
But the goal isn't to be perfect.

77
00:03:32,855 --> 00:03:35,690
The goal is to be building memories
together, and we're doing that.

78
00:03:35,691 --> 00:03:38,151
And we're going into this next tournament,
we're gonna keep hustling,

79
00:03:38,152 --> 00:03:39,570
we're gonna keep working hard.

80
00:03:40,071 --> 00:03:41,364
But most importantly,

81
00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:44,125
we're gonna have fun.

82
00:03:44,150 --> 00:03:45,901
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

83
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:53,750
- Hey. Come on in.
- Hey.

84
00:03:53,751 --> 00:03:55,252
- You guys wanted to see me?
- Mm-hmm.

85
00:03:55,253 --> 00:03:56,796
Yeah. Take a seat.

86
00:03:57,463 --> 00:03:58,547
There's nowhere to sit.

87
00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:00,882
- Good, make it faster.
- Yeah.

88
00:04:00,883 --> 00:04:04,594
Listen, Coach, the organization is
gonna go in a different direction.

89
00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:06,429
- Yeah.
- What organization?

90
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:09,099
- The franchise, the club.
- Yeah.

91
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,225
The Little League team?

92
00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:12,436
Now, see, that's your problem
right there, Coach.

93
00:04:13,312 --> 00:04:17,023
Little League teams playing little ball.
You're playing small ball, Coach.

94
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:20,450
Paddy's Pinstripes gotta have
giant balls, all right?

95
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,446
I mean, not literally giant.
The kids are only 12, you know.

96
00:04:23,447 --> 00:04:26,158
Although, I did see a significant growth
in my own testicles

97
00:04:26,659 --> 00:04:29,661
between the ages of,
I believe it was 12 and 13, so, you know.

98
00:04:29,662 --> 00:04:31,705
Actually, there's some stats
here to suggest

99
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:34,666
that there's around a 17% growth rate
at this age.

100
00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:35,959
- And stats don't lie.
- Whoo.

101
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:37,502
What is happening here?

102
00:04:37,503 --> 00:04:39,207
- You're out. You're fired.
- Yeah.

103
00:04:39,232 --> 00:04:40,734
I'm a volunteer.

104
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:42,632
- Good, no severance.
- Yeah.

105
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:45,928
This is insane!
Who's gonna coach the team?

106
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:53,393
All right. Let's turn two
on this one, right? Let's go!

107
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:56,062
Let's go! Hustle, hustle, hustle!
Turn two! Turn two!

108
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,064
All right,
I wanna see the button on that cap

109
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,816
when you scoop that ball, right?

110
00:04:59,817 --> 00:05:02,110
Like this. I want to see the button
on that cap.

111
00:05:02,111 --> 00:05:04,362
None of this chin up stuff.
Can't be afraid of the ball.

112
00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,907
Hey, Coach, I think they might
be scared of the ball

113
00:05:06,908 --> 00:05:08,783
because they're not wearing cups.

114
00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:11,536
- I'm gonna have to do a jock check.
- Do not fondle the children, Mac.

115
00:05:11,537 --> 00:05:13,830
Look, we need discipline
on this team, Charlie.

116
00:05:13,831 --> 00:05:15,832
I'm looking around.
I'm seeing untucked shirts.

117
00:05:15,833 --> 00:05:17,751
I'm seeing necklaces.
I'm seeing long hair.

118
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:21,171
- Did we bring scissors?
- Coach, do not cut the kids' hair, okay?

119
00:05:21,172 --> 00:05:23,131
Look, I like the ragtag team.

120
00:05:23,132 --> 00:05:25,800
They like to have a unique look.
It gives them team spirit.

121
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:28,887
Let them have team spirit,
all right, Mac? It builds morale.

122
00:05:28,888 --> 00:05:30,972
Would you stop spitting those seeds at me?

123
00:05:30,973 --> 00:05:34,851
Also, are you eating the shells
and spitting out the seeds?

124
00:05:34,852 --> 00:05:36,728
I don't know what's going on.
Yeah, that might be it.

125
00:05:36,729 --> 00:05:39,606
That's why I'm so thirsty. You know,
grab the fungo, I gotta get some water.

126
00:05:39,607 --> 00:05:41,399
All right! He's got the fungo.
I gotta get some water.

127
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,861
All right, boys! Line up!

128
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,029
How they looking?

129
00:05:46,030 --> 00:05:49,324
Not loving the arms, Frank.
I'm a little worried about the pitching.

130
00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,576
Also, I'm not really sure
what Mac is doing.

131
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:54,579
Okay, gentlemen,
we're gonna raise our fists to the sky.

132
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:57,123
We're gonna bring them down to our cups.
Are we ready?

133
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,375
Three, two, one, go!

134
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,711
Again!

135
00:06:01,712 --> 00:06:03,797
How many of those candy bars
have you had, bud?

136
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,174
You buy the team,
you buy the candy, Dennis.

137
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:07,676
Okay, all right.

138
00:06:07,677 --> 00:06:09,469
Ownership is all about the spoils.

139
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,389
Well, the stats on obesity
amongst ownership do support that.

140
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:16,101
- A lot of fat guys.
- Yeah, a lot of fat guys.

141
00:06:16,102 --> 00:06:19,396
Hey, uh, Coach, we gotta talk
about our backup second baseman.

142
00:06:19,397 --> 00:06:21,189
He stinks on ice.
I think we should cut him.

143
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:22,274
- Him?
- Yep.

144
00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:24,276
Hell no. That's our lucky little fella.

145
00:06:24,277 --> 00:06:25,527
Lucky little fella?

146
00:06:25,528 --> 00:06:27,821
Lucky little fella, Mac.
Every team's gotta have one.

147
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:31,533
When I was playing ball,
we had this kid on our team, you know?

148
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:34,995
Little guy, scrambled brains, had one
of the syndromes, you know what I mean?

149
00:06:34,996 --> 00:06:37,455
Down syndrome, up syndrome,
some kind of syndrome, right?

150
00:06:37,456 --> 00:06:40,417
Could the kid play ball?
No, of course he couldn't play ball.

151
00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:42,294
He could barely even string
two words together,

152
00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:44,713
but he was great for team spirit.

153
00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:47,966
Someone gets a hit, he starts hooting
and hollering, slapping up and down.

154
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,676
Everybody loves this kid, you know.

155
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:52,637
You rub his head for good luck,
you hit a home run, and guess what, Mac?

156
00:06:52,638 --> 00:06:56,349
We won the team championship that year
all 'cause of the lucky little fella.

157
00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:59,644
Now this kid here, I don't know
what he's got, probably something.

158
00:06:59,645 --> 00:07:02,105
- But he's good for team spirit...
- Yeah.

159
00:07:02,106 --> 00:07:04,107
...and we need
a lucky little fella like that.

160
00:07:04,108 --> 00:07:05,109
Hey, Lucky!

161
00:07:05,901 --> 00:07:07,862
Yeah, you! Bring it on in here, Lucky!

162
00:07:08,446 --> 00:07:11,156
Guys, look at the hustle!
Look at his team spirit there.

163
00:07:11,157 --> 00:07:14,409
The kid can barely run,
and he's pounding his way over here.

164
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:17,203
Lucky's not our problem.
Pitching's the issue here, Mac.

165
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:19,831
Hey, kid, I'm gonna call you Lucky

166
00:07:19,832 --> 00:07:22,167
'cause I got a lucky feeling about you,
know what I mean?

167
00:07:22,168 --> 00:07:24,836
I got that good vibe off you, okay?

168
00:07:24,837 --> 00:07:27,589
- Hey, you hungry? You like oranges?
- My cup itches.

169
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:30,008
- Uh-huh? Hey, Dee!
- Yeah?

170
00:07:30,009 --> 00:07:32,844
Hey, fire me over one of those oranges
for Little Lucky over here.

171
00:07:32,845 --> 00:07:34,554
- This is our lucky little fella.
- You got it!

172
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,556
Come on!

173
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:44,314
Holy Toledo!
You seeing what I'm seeing, Frank?

174
00:07:44,315 --> 00:07:46,775
Yeah, the movement on them oranges
is off the charts.

175
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:48,611
Hey, Dee, you give that orange 100%?

176
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,695
Yeah, right.

177
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,723
Holy shit.

178
00:07:53,699 --> 00:07:56,076
- What's the scouting report on her?
- Uh...

179
00:07:56,077 --> 00:07:57,827
Yeah. I-I got that right here.

180
00:07:57,828 --> 00:08:00,747
Deandra Reynolds, uh...

181
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:04,501
gangly, bad attitude,
all-around unpleasant person.

182
00:08:04,502 --> 00:08:05,585
Yeah.

183
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:08,208
Dude, are you seriously
opening another candy bar?

184
00:08:09,131 --> 00:08:12,635
The spoils, Dennis. The spoils.

185
00:08:15,403 --> 00:08:20,365
It is a beautiful day for baseball here
at South Philly Pulaski Park Fields.

186
00:08:20,366 --> 00:08:22,283
I'm Timmy Talhoon,

187
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:26,287
and you are listening to
South Philadelphia Youth Baseball Radio.

188
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,916
That's cool. Look at that.
They got a kid doing play-by-play.

189
00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:32,711
Don't get distracted.
What's the stats on the opposing team?

190
00:08:34,463 --> 00:08:35,588
Where did you get milk?

191
00:08:35,589 --> 00:08:38,299
Hey, Dee! How's the wing?

192
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,634
Ready to rock!

193
00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:42,470
- What's with your voice?
- Seeds are drying me out.

194
00:08:42,471 --> 00:08:43,848
All right, boys, stand up!

195
00:08:44,932 --> 00:08:46,766
Tap your cups.

196
00:08:46,767 --> 00:08:48,686
- Take the field.
- Let's go!

197
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:50,979
Here they come, folks.

198
00:08:50,980 --> 00:08:54,900
Paddy's Pinstripes taking the field
with their starting pitcher...

199
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,447
...Deandra Reynolds.

200
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:03,075
And the crowd is understandably perplexed.

201
00:09:04,285 --> 00:09:05,286
Oh, yeah?

202
00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:07,121
Whatever, you dumb cunts.

203
00:09:08,039 --> 00:09:10,248
What is she doing? She can't pitch.

204
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,125
- Yes, she can!
- It's in the bylaws!

205
00:09:12,126 --> 00:09:13,835
- Dennis, Dennis!
- Dennis!

206
00:09:13,836 --> 00:09:15,211
{\an8}You're up.

207
00:09:15,212 --> 00:09:17,047
{\an8}Yep, here we go.

208
00:09:17,048 --> 00:09:18,423
You gotta read the bylaws, okay?

209
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,508
I got you! I got you!
Listen up, listen up.

210
00:09:20,509 --> 00:09:25,055
Hi, Dennis Reynolds, GM of the Pinstripes.
So, according to the bylaws here,

211
00:09:25,056 --> 00:09:28,433
no boy over the age of 12
will be allowed to play,

212
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:31,870
but as you can see here,
our pitcher, well, that's not a boy.

213
00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:34,647
This is bullshit! It means any child!

214
00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:36,775
Well, listen,
it could be a sexist oversight

215
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,485
on behalf of the league.

216
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:39,569
You know, I don't make the rules.

217
00:09:39,570 --> 00:09:41,404
But, hey, listen, you can play
any adult woman you like,

218
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:43,156
- if you have any on your roster.
- You got a woman pitcher, you put her in!

219
00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:45,450
This is crazy! You gotta stop this, Kenny!

220
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:47,827
Well, actually, if you do, uh, Kenny,

221
00:09:47,828 --> 00:09:49,788
you're gonna be facing
a pretty hefty lawsuit

222
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:51,665
from a very pricey law firm
that we've hired.

223
00:09:53,751 --> 00:09:55,752
Hey, hey, hey!
Kenny, can we play ball or what?

224
00:09:55,753 --> 00:09:59,047
Guys, I don't know what to tell you.
I'm getting paid 30 bucks to do this.

225
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:00,840
- That sounds like a yes.
- Let's just play ball.

226
00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:02,592
Oh, my God. You're a little bitch, Kenny!

227
00:10:02,593 --> 00:10:04,428
Play ball? Play ball!

228
00:10:05,262 --> 00:10:06,971
- Fuck you.
- Back at you, back at you!

229
00:10:06,972 --> 00:10:08,556
Now, to play ball, let's go, let's go!

230
00:10:08,557 --> 00:10:12,393
And it looks like this charade of a game
is going to be allowed

231
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:15,815
to continue as the Drexel Hill Tigers
come to the plate.

232
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:17,900
All right, here we go!

233
00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,738
I don't know what that means.
What are you doing?

234
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,074
Yo, Dee!

235
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:31,872
- I don't know what you're doing.
- Do what Coach is saying.

236
00:10:32,623 --> 00:10:35,583
I don't know what any of this shit means.
How about I just throw the goddamn ball?

237
00:10:35,584 --> 00:10:37,378
- Okay?
- Whoo, you got this!

238
00:10:40,714 --> 00:10:42,674
Strike one!

239
00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:44,259
- This is gonna be good.
- It is, yeah.

240
00:10:44,260 --> 00:10:45,844
This is gonna be good.

241
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,263
? Oh, put me in, Coach ?

242
00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:50,850
- Strike two!
- Here we go!

243
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,643
Strike three!

244
00:10:53,644 --> 00:10:55,228
? Put me in, Coach ?

245
00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:56,521
? I'm ready to play ?

246
00:10:56,522 --> 00:10:59,107
- Strike three!
- Oh, come on!

247
00:10:59,108 --> 00:11:02,277
? Look at me
I can be center field ?

248
00:11:02,278 --> 00:11:05,364
- Strike three!
- It's so easy!

249
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,115
It's just too easy!

250
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:12,287
? Well, I spent some time
in the Mudville Nine ?

251
00:11:12,288 --> 00:11:15,039
You got nothing!

252
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:18,459
Strike two!

253
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,295
You suck!

254
00:11:20,296 --> 00:11:22,381
You're a loser! You're a loser!

255
00:11:24,341 --> 00:11:26,843
We have ourselves
a heck of a pitching duel

256
00:11:26,844 --> 00:11:29,512
as the bats on both teams
have gone ice-cold.

257
00:11:29,513 --> 00:11:31,640
Have to admire the stamina
of the 50-year-old.

258
00:11:33,058 --> 00:11:36,227
Strike three!

259
00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:39,355
As we can tell, she's in agony
with each remaining pitch.

260
00:11:39,356 --> 00:11:40,773
Way to go, Dee!

261
00:11:40,774 --> 00:11:42,358
- Way to go!
- Oh, God.

262
00:11:42,359 --> 00:11:44,694
My goddamn arm, it's about to break off.

263
00:11:44,695 --> 00:11:47,113
Get her some ice, Mac!
Dee, your work's almost done.

264
00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:49,490
One more run, boys, we win this thing!

265
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:52,452
- You got your cup in, Dee?
- Get off me! Jesus.

266
00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:54,579
Nothing, nothing in the final inning

267
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:58,499
as Paddy's has managed
to load the bases with two outs.

268
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,586
- Lucky, you're up!
- What?

269
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:05,257
Lucky, I'm putting you in the game.

270
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:09,344
I want you to lay down the
suicide squeeze.

271
00:12:09,345 --> 00:12:10,512
{\an8}What's he saying?

272
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:13,640
- He's saying he wants you to bunt.
- I want you to bunt.

273
00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:16,059
- Just put on the helmet.
- Yeah, get out there, Lucky!

274
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:17,269
- There you go.
- You got this.

275
00:12:17,853 --> 00:12:19,146
Batter up!

276
00:12:23,192 --> 00:12:24,360
Who's this kid?

277
00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:28,404
- What are you listening to?
- You talking to me?

278
00:12:28,405 --> 00:12:31,824
- Yes, what are you listening to?
- I'm listening to the kid in the booth.

279
00:12:31,825 --> 00:12:33,993
He's incredible.
He's like a modern-day Vin Scully.

280
00:12:33,994 --> 00:12:37,538
Well, knock it off and get your head
back in the game. Who is this kid?

281
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,374
I-I don't know, Frank.
There's no stats on him.

282
00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:42,001
- He's never actually made it to bat.
- Fuck me.

283
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:44,463
Hey, death squad, do something.

284
00:13:00,729 --> 00:13:02,939
Time! Dead ball, take your base.

285
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,941
Ah! He got hit in the balls!

286
00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:07,777
- We win, we win, we win! He gets on base.
- Oh, we win.

287
00:13:07,778 --> 00:13:09,029
Ball game!

288
00:13:09,905 --> 00:13:10,948
We won!

289
00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:17,078
- Hey, Coach. That's why you wear a cup.
- Uh-oh.

290
00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:19,164
- Oh, shit.
- Uh-oh.

291
00:13:20,499 --> 00:13:22,751
Oh, yeah!

292
00:13:28,589 --> 00:13:32,551
No. What happened out there
was unacceptable.

293
00:13:33,344 --> 00:13:34,969
What are you talking about, Frank? We won.

294
00:13:34,970 --> 00:13:37,722
We won
because of a hit by pitch. You got lucky.

295
00:13:37,723 --> 00:13:40,433
Damn right we got lucky.
That's because of our lucky little fella.

296
00:13:40,434 --> 00:13:45,188
See, Charlie knows that it's baseball luck
to have a special needs kid on the team.

297
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:47,106
- What do your stats say about that?
- Yeah.

298
00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,442
The problem is, of course,
he's now out for the season,

299
00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:52,695
and we're gonna need
a new special needs kid.

300
00:13:52,696 --> 00:13:56,324
- Possibly a tad more severe case. Yeah.
- You wanna up the case.

301
00:13:56,325 --> 00:13:58,701
- No Albanians!
- No, no, can't have Albanians.

302
00:13:58,702 --> 00:14:01,704
You know what? I don't have my book on me,
but I know the stats don't support that,

303
00:14:01,705 --> 00:14:03,957
and you are all turned around
on this Albanian thing.

304
00:14:03,958 --> 00:14:09,128
Yeah, look, I spent top dollar
on this team, and I want results.

305
00:14:09,129 --> 00:14:10,463
Why's Frank get a hot dog?

306
00:14:10,464 --> 00:14:12,674
You guys both have hot dogs?
I want a hot dog.

307
00:14:12,675 --> 00:14:13,758
The spoils.

308
00:14:13,759 --> 00:14:15,927
- Buy the team, you get the hot dogs.
- Mmm.

309
00:14:15,928 --> 00:14:18,137
- Hot dog.
- Who's pitching today?

310
00:14:18,138 --> 00:14:20,014
- It's got to be Jones.
- Yes, I think it's got to be Jones

311
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:21,933
because he's got
a pretty good splitter, so...

312
00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:23,685
- Wrong.
- It's Dee again.

313
00:14:23,686 --> 00:14:25,520
- Dee.
- Dee? No, her arm is shot.

314
00:14:25,521 --> 00:14:28,356
Can't afford to lose this game, Coach.
Gotta do whatever it takes.

315
00:14:28,357 --> 00:14:31,401
- Stats support it.
- You talking about, "All about the stats."

316
00:14:34,196 --> 00:14:36,197
But you're not taking my baseball!

317
00:14:36,198 --> 00:14:38,866
Ah! You know what this is?
That's my baseball!

318
00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,034
It's all my baseballs.

319
00:14:42,663 --> 00:14:44,205
What'd he say?

320
00:14:44,206 --> 00:14:48,042
Yeah, he didn't drink any water and we
won the game, and he's so superstitious.

321
00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:50,963
I have not seen him take any fluids
for 48 hours.

322
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:52,715
- Mmm.
- Oh.

323
00:14:53,424 --> 00:14:55,383
I should probably go check on him.

324
00:14:55,384 --> 00:14:57,010
Hey, Coach! Coach?

325
00:14:57,011 --> 00:14:58,012
Hmm.

326
00:14:58,762 --> 00:14:59,763
Who you calling?

327
00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:03,182
I gotta make some changes.
I need to get some more ringers.

328
00:15:03,183 --> 00:15:04,977
Also, you're fired.

329
00:15:05,811 --> 00:15:07,104
I'm fired? Why am I fired?

330
00:15:08,022 --> 00:15:11,316
You listen to the play-by-play,
eating all my dogs,

331
00:15:11,317 --> 00:15:12,984
and it's not working out.

332
00:15:12,985 --> 00:15:14,903
We're just gonna go
in a different direction.

333
00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:18,156
- Hola.
- Hola. Mmm.

334
00:15:18,157 --> 00:15:22,243
All right, boys, let's go, stretch it out.
We got a beautiful day for baseball.

335
00:15:22,244 --> 00:15:23,245
Hey, hey.

336
00:15:23,746 --> 00:15:25,538
What's going on over here?

337
00:15:25,539 --> 00:15:27,290
Hey, Coach Bob.
You got a new coaching gig?

338
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:30,043
- Who the heck are all these kids?
- Oh, these guys.

339
00:15:30,044 --> 00:15:35,381
Yeah, this is, uh, Philepe, Jose,
Ramiriz, Cortez, Ramon...

340
00:15:38,969 --> 00:15:41,179
What's with the crazy person
in the corner?

341
00:15:42,348 --> 00:15:44,057
Ah, we picked up a new lucky little fella.

342
00:15:44,058 --> 00:15:46,225
He's not little.

343
00:15:46,226 --> 00:15:49,145
Best we can do on short notice, Dee.
We tied him down to be safe.

344
00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:51,022
- I think that's for the best, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

345
00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:53,816
- Just don't go near him.
- I wasn't planning on it.

346
00:15:53,817 --> 00:15:56,694
Don't listen to the girl, Lucky.
Look at the game, look at the game.

347
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:58,863
Hey, Lucky.

348
00:15:58,864 --> 00:16:03,576
Breathe, breathe, Lucky, all right? Stay!

349
00:16:03,577 --> 00:16:06,579
Well, Timmy, looks like we are in
for a good one today

350
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:10,541
as the Paddy's Pinstripes have replaced
their entire starting lineup

351
00:16:10,542 --> 00:16:13,169
with what appears to be
international talent.

352
00:16:13,170 --> 00:16:15,380
An unorthodox move.

353
00:16:15,381 --> 00:16:19,217
Almost as unorthodox as Dennis Reynolds,
a man I've never met,

354
00:16:19,218 --> 00:16:21,386
joining me in the booth today, folks.

355
00:16:21,387 --> 00:16:26,057
That's right, Tim,
and with approximately 84,000 children

356
00:16:26,058 --> 00:16:28,851
abducted each year,
you do wanna be careful.

357
00:16:28,852 --> 00:16:33,815
That said, uh, 93% of those children
do turn out to be runaways,

358
00:16:33,816 --> 00:16:36,025
so the numbers are in your favor.

359
00:16:36,026 --> 00:16:38,903
It's a strange and disturbing factoid,
Dennis.

360
00:16:38,904 --> 00:16:41,531
Seventy-two degrees
on this beautiful afternoon

361
00:16:41,532 --> 00:16:43,574
as the Pinstripes take the field.

362
00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:47,745
Let's hope for a good game today
as Deandra Reynolds takes the mound

363
00:16:47,746 --> 00:16:49,831
for a second game in a row.

364
00:16:50,999 --> 00:16:53,626
A chorus of boos for Reynolds.

365
00:16:55,421 --> 00:16:57,172
Oh, fuck you! Charlie!

366
00:16:59,299 --> 00:17:02,051
Charlie, my arm's about to die.
I think I only got one inning in me.

367
00:17:02,052 --> 00:17:04,263
- You think you got one?
- I think I only got one.

368
00:17:05,681 --> 00:17:06,682
Oh, God.

369
00:17:14,606 --> 00:17:15,607
Yeah, what?

370
00:17:16,525 --> 00:17:19,444
No, no, no, no, no. She's staying in.
She's staying in!

371
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:27,494
- You're going the distance.
- What--

372
00:17:29,079 --> 00:17:30,706
Drink a goddamn glass of water!

373
00:17:34,126 --> 00:17:35,335
Strike!

374
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:37,504
Keep your eyes open.

375
00:17:38,046 --> 00:17:39,047
Stupid kid.

376
00:17:40,215 --> 00:17:42,259
- Strike, you're out!
- Come on!

377
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:44,844
Oh, it's gone!

378
00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:51,267
Strike! Strike! Strike!

379
00:17:51,268 --> 00:17:53,686
Yeah, yeah, you suck.

380
00:17:58,859 --> 00:17:59,860
Nice.

381
00:18:01,945 --> 00:18:04,155
- Strike three!
- Go, you're gone. You're good.

382
00:18:04,156 --> 00:18:06,199
It's third strike, dum-dum.

383
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,493
Come on!

384
00:18:10,444 --> 00:18:12,747
Oh, oh, oh. Out of there!

385
00:18:12,748 --> 00:18:15,958
Pinstripes looking absolutely dominant
out there today.

386
00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,920
They are,
but Reynolds showing signs of fatigue.

387
00:18:18,921 --> 00:18:22,173
You have to wonder how long
that 50-year-old arm can keep this up

388
00:18:22,174 --> 00:18:24,634
as the Pinstripe's manager comes out
to the mound.

389
00:18:24,635 --> 00:18:26,594
Please, God, take me out. You have to.

390
00:18:26,595 --> 00:18:27,970
The thing about you is

391
00:18:27,971 --> 00:18:29,181
you're a natural.

392
00:18:30,099 --> 00:18:31,182
You got one more batter.

393
00:18:31,183 --> 00:18:32,266
Well--

394
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:34,853
I gotta trust my gut.

395
00:18:35,938 --> 00:18:39,232
The only word I understood was "gut,"
and yours is flooded with seed oils.

396
00:18:39,233 --> 00:18:40,775
All right, you've got this, man.

397
00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:42,778
- You've got this, man.
- Okay, stop it!

398
00:18:43,529 --> 00:18:46,906
This is the last batter, though!
This is the last one!

399
00:19:07,594 --> 00:19:08,678
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.

400
00:19:08,679 --> 00:19:10,054
- What's this?
- That's not good.

401
00:19:10,055 --> 00:19:11,389
No!

402
00:19:11,390 --> 00:19:15,309
- I heard it all the way in here, Talhoon.
- So did I, Dennis.

403
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:16,727
Yeah, I'll bet.

404
00:19:16,728 --> 00:19:22,650
Uh, fun fact, elongated noodle arms
are 57% more prone to dislocate

405
00:19:22,651 --> 00:19:27,196
and 92% when their owner has
weak ligaments and shit posture,

406
00:19:27,197 --> 00:19:30,032
not to mention the sheer amount
of alcohol abuse.

407
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:33,077
And she's a bitch and a bird.
Back to you, Tim.

408
00:19:33,078 --> 00:19:35,746
Oh, God.

409
00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:36,748
Suck it up!

410
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,876
Probably should've pulled her earlier.

411
00:19:39,877 --> 00:19:40,960
- Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah.

412
00:19:40,961 --> 00:19:42,336
Hold on, what's this now?

413
00:19:47,509 --> 00:19:49,802
And in comes ICE.

414
00:19:49,803 --> 00:19:52,388
Oh. Very regrettable scene here, Timmy,

415
00:19:52,389 --> 00:19:55,224
as ICE agents scramble
to detain the children.

416
00:19:55,225 --> 00:19:57,018
Oh, God, no!

417
00:19:57,019 --> 00:19:58,020
Don't let him get you!

418
00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:01,939
Have to wonder if that call came
from Pinstripe former coach, Bob D'Marco,

419
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:04,233
as the new Pinstripe brass is
in a tailspin.

420
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,277
Oh, shit.

421
00:20:06,278 --> 00:20:07,361
Do something.

422
00:20:12,075 --> 00:20:14,160
And here comes the lucky fella,

423
00:20:14,161 --> 00:20:18,080
Pinstripes' mongoloid mascot
loose on the field.

424
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,166
It's pandemonium, Dennis.

425
00:20:20,167 --> 00:20:22,460
Not sure "mongoloid"
is the appropriate term.

426
00:20:22,461 --> 00:20:25,796
Oh, it is, Timmy. It is.
It's derived from the word "Mongolian."

427
00:20:25,797 --> 00:20:29,508
But in a surprising twist,
the man is actually Albanian.

428
00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:31,886
- Mmm.
- I don't know the playbook for this one.

429
00:20:31,887 --> 00:20:34,472
Nope. It looks like
it's gonna sort itself out.

430
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:35,932
- Yeah.
- Let's get you some water.

431
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:38,226
Oh, that would be good. Let's go.
Let's get some water.

432
00:20:39,311 --> 00:20:42,940
You hate to see it, Timmy.
It's a dark day for baseball.

433
00:20:43,565 --> 00:20:44,815
Sure is.

434
00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:51,839
credits