1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:05,715
Okay, so her puppy chased
a butterfly under the porch,

2
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:06,963
and now he's stuck there.

3
00:00:06,988 --> 00:00:08,475
Aww. So adorable.

4
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:10,953
But crawl spaces are
like bars after 3:00 AM.

5
00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:12,655
Nothing good'll ever happen in there.

6
00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:16,058
What was the breed of this
fluffy little angel of yours?

7
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:17,860
Oh, Barkley is a French bulldog.

8
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,462
Oh, cute, helpless dummies.

9
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,364
I mean, they can't even
breathe without assistance,

10
00:00:21,388 --> 00:00:23,365
it's like nature doesn't
want 'em to exist.

11
00:00:24,591 --> 00:00:25,598
All right.

12
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:27,994
Barkley.

13
00:00:28,128 --> 00:00:29,362
Come here, boy.

14
00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,697
Barkley!

15
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:31,841
Come here, boy.

16
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,109
I see a lot of dry rot.

17
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:34,601
Shoddy foundation.

18
00:00:34,626 --> 00:00:35,745
These people are slobs.

19
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:36,759
Barkley!

20
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:42,609
Barkley?

21
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,991
Please tell me she stores her
Halloween decorations down here.

22
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:50,393
They melt in the attic.

23
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,994
They're just festive props.

24
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,218
Proceed, buddy.

25
00:01:00,552 --> 00:01:02,760
My partner isn't a big fan of holidays.

26
00:01:31,119 --> 00:01:34,623
CREDITS

27
00:01:37,163 --> 00:01:38,307
Sorry I'm late.

28
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,442
Templeton's not in today.

29
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,077
You don't have to pretend somebody died.

30
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,411
Something did die.

31
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,547
My ability to walk
around the house naked.

32
00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,149
I don't have to worry about that
'cause my neighbor's blind.

33
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:49,685
Or at least... that's what he told me.

34
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:51,454
Addy bailed on her family trip to India.

35
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,322
She skipped the connecting
flight and came back

36
00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:55,026
to see her new boyfriend.

37
00:01:55,547 --> 00:01:56,480
Oh, no.

38
00:01:56,505 --> 00:01:57,660
No, no, look at me.

39
00:01:57,684 --> 00:01:58,612
Excu...

40
00:01:58,637 --> 00:02:00,048
You... look at me!

41
00:02:00,835 --> 00:02:03,666
You promised me two months
of no bitching about your kids.

42
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:04,934
Get Addy out of town.

43
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,303
Put her in a roller suitcase
and check it in if you have to.

44
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,608
Also, how did she even get a boyfriend?

45
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:11,245
It's... that's...

46
00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:13,209
Don't make eye contact
with the crazy lady

47
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,377
wheeling the board.

48
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,479
Emily, you're not the boss anymore.

49
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:19,181
I know I'm not the boss.
Templeton made that, um...

50
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:20,316
very clear, um.

51
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,485
But we are in the fight
of our lives against Roman,

52
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,977
and we cannot afford any mistakes.

53
00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:26,122
And right now,
Templeton is down at City Hall

54
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,523
getting reamed out by the Commandant

55
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,492
because our customer service
scores have dipped.

56
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:30,626
We're not in the Coast Guard.

57
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,128
I'm not gonna call him Commandant.

58
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,443
He's Reggie, the mayor's cousin.

59
00:02:33,468 --> 00:02:35,464
I thought our scores were
at an all-time high last month.

60
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,366
Yeah. We've been killing ourselves.

61
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:40,069
I don't even use the bathrooms
in people's homes anymore.

62
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,471
You... shouldn't... be... anyways, no.

63
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:45,107
Our scores are down
and Templeton has named me

64
00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:46,444
Citizen Czar.

65
00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,811
Citizen Czar is not a thing.

66
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,247
He just watched the movie
Anastasia for the first time.

67
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:53,261
Anyways, Pax Romana could shut us down.

68
00:02:53,286 --> 00:02:56,552
And right now, Roman is winning
the war with the public.

69
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,387
Word on the street is
he's giving away awesome

70
00:02:58,411 --> 00:03:01,357
purple water bottles,
so we have to up our game.

71
00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,649
Which means...

72
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,353
We need tens across the board.

73
00:03:06,378 --> 00:03:08,922
Which we have, except for Truck 12,

74
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,624
who just got a terrible review.

75
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:12,835
- What?
- Excuse me?

76
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,904
How does that happen?
What're you doing out there?

77
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,363
What did you do?

78
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,891
Julie S. gave us a five?

79
00:03:18,916 --> 00:03:21,444
But I rescued her dog
out from under her porch.

80
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:22,812
It was pure heroism.

81
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,880
What did she say
about the D-Day invasion?

82
00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,415
"Too sandy. Three out of ten"?

83
00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:28,384
Other comments include,
"Officer was rude,

84
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,720
inconsiderate, and showed
no regard for others".

85
00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,556
Um... that's the dictionary
definition of Frank.

86
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,292
Look, I accept that opinions,
like ironic T-shirts,

87
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,427
are just things that some people have.

88
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:39,695
But I reject their power over me.

89
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,372
You just can't play the game, can you?

90
00:03:41,397 --> 00:03:42,297
Nuh-uh.

91
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,300
Look, the only reason
you get tens is because

92
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:46,435
every time you screw up,
you say you have diabetes.

93
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:48,304
- Can't prove I don't.
- Probably does!

94
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:50,306
Okay, we know how important
these scores are,

95
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,308
so today we will approach every call

96
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,644
with a glimmer in our eye
and a song in our heart.

97
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,948
Won't we, Frank?

98
00:03:57,809 --> 00:04:00,182
- Grumble.
- You can't just say grumble.

99
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:01,574
- Shrug.
- Okay.

100
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:03,668
We're gonna get those scores up, boss.

101
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,945
I mean, babe. Sorry! Emily.

102
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,047
Sorry...

103
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,281
Czar.

104
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,384
A lot of changes to navigate.

105
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,872
I hate review culture.

106
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,165
That's why I only lasted
one shift at TGI Friday's.

107
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:17,199
- Frank...
- The only people

108
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:18,901
who say the customer
is always right are people

109
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,103
who never have to interact
with the dum-dum public.

110
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,408
- Look, man...
- I'm not talking about

111
00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:25,207
a true cultural critic
who provides checks and balances

112
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,475
on a society run amok.

113
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,444
Your Oscar Wilde, Fran Lebowitz,

114
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,212
- Gene Siskel, Gene Shalit...
- We get it! Okay?

115
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,119
You're a rebel. A lone wolf.

116
00:04:32,144 --> 00:04:34,116
A single man with no dependents. Okay?

117
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,484
But when you alienate the public,

118
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:37,086
it hurts the whole team, dude.

119
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,469
And it reminds me of a time when...

120
00:04:38,494 --> 00:04:41,724
I smell a clumsily shoehorned
snowboarding story coming on.

121
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,759
Sure, I was up there alone
on that mountain,

122
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,720
But my personal score
affected the team score.

123
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:47,830
So when I messed up,

124
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:49,498
I had to stand up
in front of my whole team

125
00:04:49,522 --> 00:04:50,766
and own up to my mistakes.

126
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,535
And that's why you need to start

127
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,134
taking some accountability.

128
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:56,005
Yeah, accountability leads to apologies.

129
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,840
It's a slippery slope.
I'm not doing that.

130
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:58,908
Oh, yes you are.

131
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,643
'Cause I'm driving to
Julie S.'s house right now

132
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:03,045
to show her that Frank Shaw is no five.

133
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,948
He is a ten in looks
and an eight in personality.

134
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,462
So, an eight point five.

135
00:05:08,801 --> 00:05:10,105
Personality is weighted.

136
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:15,423
Sleeveless.

137
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:17,984
Someone's planning on barbecue today.

138
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,762
This is my intimidation look.

139
00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,630
Addy's bringing her new
boyfriend by for lunch.

140
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,632
I'm going to scare him
into breaking up with her.

141
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:26,856
Oh, yeah, I like that.
A breakup is perfect for us.

142
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:29,805
It gets Addy out of town
and it wrecks her confidence.

143
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,813
That girl feels way too good
about herself.

144
00:05:31,838 --> 00:05:34,877
Once this punk takes a look
at Addy's tough old man,

145
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,101
he's gonna run.

146
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,405
Yeah.

147
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:41,050
Okay, and this is
my dad's stupid office,

148
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,019
which explains why
he always smells so weird.

149
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,144
Hey.

150
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:46,522
Hey, I'm Walt. Nice to meet you, sir.

151
00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:48,066
You say that now...

152
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:50,450
Oh, excuse the hardware.

153
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,882
It's a tranq gun. It shoots.

154
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,688
Cool.

155
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:57,199
Dad. You're being weird.
We're getting sodas.

156
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,958
Okay. To be continued.

157
00:05:59,762 --> 00:06:01,437
I've already lost the upper hand.

158
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:02,838
Yeah, you need our help.

159
00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:05,074
So... Emily and I
are gonna break them up.

160
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,175
Me? No, no, no.

161
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,977
No, I can't be involved
in any office shenanigans.

162
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,712
But you're not the boss
right now, so this is

163
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:12,181
your chance to be a much
cooler version of yourself.

164
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,216
That's true. I am floating today.

165
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,153
I mean, maybe I could talk to
Addy about prioritizing things

166
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,321
other than a boyfriend.

167
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:20,489
It's important for girls
to hear that from girl bosses.

168
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,113
- Girl Czars.
- Yeah.

169
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,459
First, let me talk to Walt,

170
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:24,860
'cause I can already think of, like,

171
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,330
15 things that suck about Addy, so...

172
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,065
Okay, but don't mess her up too bad,

173
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,633
'cause I can't afford therapy.

174
00:06:32,538 --> 00:06:34,405
Okay. Let me do the talking.

175
00:06:35,137 --> 00:06:36,071
Hi, there.

176
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,907
You might remember us
as the friendly Animal Control

177
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,942
officers that helped you
with Barkley yesterday.

178
00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,210
Yeah. Of course.

179
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,411
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.

180
00:06:42,435 --> 00:06:45,214
We just wanted to swing by
and see how Barkley is doing.

181
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,882
- Barkley's fine.
- Great!

182
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,784
Well, we take customer satisfaction

183
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,619
very seriously at Animal Control.

184
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:53,756
So, please let us know if
there's anything else we can do.

185
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,192
Ah, okay... you're here
because of my review.

186
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,116
Listen.

187
00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,528
I know my partner's a bit
of an acquired taste.

188
00:06:59,715 --> 00:07:01,731
Like blue cheese or no-show socks.

189
00:07:02,095 --> 00:07:05,198
Actually, I didn't ding
you guys because of him.

190
00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:06,873
It was you.

191
00:07:07,613 --> 00:07:08,599
Me?

192
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,107
This is why I get out
of bed in the morning.

193
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,375
Please, continue Julie.

194
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:14,732
And really, you can't be too harsh.

195
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,470
Okay, well, take a look.

196
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,110
Yeah.

197
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,548
Oh, my Lord, I'm a monster.

198
00:07:25,573 --> 00:07:28,090
I'd like to apologize
for my revolting partner.

199
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,392
- Thank you.
- Step one.

200
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,493
Accountability.

201
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,653
Let's rewatch that clip
and drink it in together.

202
00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:34,814
Gladly.

203
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,667
Can you turn it up?

204
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,220
I think I'm gonna cry.

205
00:07:45,652 --> 00:07:47,569
Is this what you look like
when you're happy?

206
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,291
I'm seeing teeth I've never seen before.

207
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:52,148
Just when I think the universe
is indifferent to my joy,

208
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,083
it brings me a gift like this.

209
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,419
I probably have
some bad habits left over

210
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:57,553
from my snowboarding days.

211
00:07:57,577 --> 00:08:00,089
Like how I sometimes I slip
into calling people bro.

212
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,992
Nose blowing is probably
one of those things, so...

213
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:03,993
I'm sorry, bro.

214
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,695
Oh, it's okay.
Take a break, pee in the yard.

215
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,396
It's not funny, Frank.

216
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,062
Look at what she's drinking out of.

217
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,622
That's a Pax Romana water bottle.

218
00:08:11,799 --> 00:08:13,401
Roman is closing in,

219
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,271
and I am failing my beloved Czar.

220
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,806
Oh, this is not about Emily.

221
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:19,141
This is about you being
the rude one and hating it.

222
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,443
Of course I hate it!

223
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:23,134
Okay? I'm the lovable mop-top cutie guy.

224
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,315
Take a hike, bird.

225
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,117
Whoa! Don't piss off a crow.

226
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,785
They remember faces and hold grudges.

227
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:32,335
They're the Italian grandmothers
of the animal kingdom.

228
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:35,857
Is there anything else
he can clean while we're here?

229
00:08:35,984 --> 00:08:37,195
I'd offer him for gutters,

230
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,828
but even on the ladder he can't reach.

231
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,329
I bet you don't have that problem.

232
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,898
I can break six-five
if my hair product cooperates.

233
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:43,822
Wow.

234
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,341
And I know he's being coy,
but there is a button

235
00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:49,672
on the website that will
allow you to adjust reviews.

236
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:52,284
I don't normally
I don't even leave reviews.

237
00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:53,576
I don't like to encourage the idea

238
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,144
that everybody's opinion matters.

239
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,821
Let's be honest,
most people aren't Gene Shalit.

240
00:08:59,119 --> 00:09:00,116
Come on!

241
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:02,084
I'm working on your amenities here!

242
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,319
Should you help him?

243
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,711
Nah, he's got it.

244
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:06,879
Whoa.

245
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,190
This place keeps on going.

246
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,592
You're a nice guy, Stretch.

247
00:09:09,617 --> 00:09:10,743
Oh. Thanks.

248
00:09:10,768 --> 00:09:11,960
Really noble.

249
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,596
'Cause, like, you could be
playing the field.

250
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:14,864
Crushing it, by the way.

251
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,399
But instead, you're going
out with someone

252
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:19,168
who's, like, really... ugh!
You know what I mean?

253
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,702
Uh... not really.

254
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:21,837
I just think it's really sweet

255
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:24,675
that you're not bothered by
Addy's chronic diarrhea.

256
00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:27,159
She's so brave.

257
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,711
Uh... what are you doing?

258
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,381
I have to hydrate these
lizard eggs twice a day.

259
00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:34,440
That's the mom.

260
00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:37,202
We rescued her from under
a ferris wheel at a carnival.

261
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:38,753
Can I hold her?

262
00:09:38,778 --> 00:09:40,080
- Yeah.
- Huh.

263
00:09:45,053 --> 00:09:46,628
Whoa!

264
00:09:46,762 --> 00:09:48,530
That is so dope.

265
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,099
You can keep it if you dump Addy.

266
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,196
- Hmm?
- Hmm?

267
00:09:51,221 --> 00:09:52,901
Everybody gather round!

268
00:09:53,232 --> 00:09:55,401
Gather round, everyone.

269
00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:56,771
Gather round.

270
00:09:56,903 --> 00:09:58,572
Why is Shred standing on a desk?

271
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:00,376
It's funny you should
bring up accountability.

272
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,939
- I didn't.
- No, Shred did.

273
00:10:01,964 --> 00:10:03,646
While he was lecturing me
about teamwork.

274
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:06,115
So, just like in his snowboarding days,

275
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,117
our humble little truck
has a new policy.

276
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,944
Now, he will publicly
explain his failures.

277
00:10:11,377 --> 00:10:12,278
Everyone...

278
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,879
the bad review was not Frank's fault.

279
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:17,517
It was mine.

280
00:10:18,047 --> 00:10:18,960
What?

281
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,463
In full view of a security camera, I...

282
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,542
Frederick Taylor,

283
00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:25,024
air hankied into Julie S.'s avian spa.

284
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,580
You what in her what?

285
00:10:26,605 --> 00:10:29,483
A ring video of the incident
is now on all your phones.

286
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,869
Eww!

287
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,112
It's not pretty.

288
00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:38,256
It's not nice.

289
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,849
I wasn't even aware that I do it.

290
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,879
Some of us are aware. Very aware.

291
00:10:41,904 --> 00:10:44,409
You are killing me, babe.
I'm Citizen Czar!

292
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:45,421
On a personal note,

293
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,156
uh, this has been a real wake-up call.

294
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,024
I didn't realize I was
such a repugnant menace

295
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:50,793
to the public,
and I've decided to formally

296
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,061
offer my resignation.

297
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,605
Mmm! Not necessary.

298
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,030
But I do believe this calls

299
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:57,690
for a wholesale reevaluation of Frank.

300
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,201
Turns out... he's an angel.

301
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,136
A big, strong millennial angel.

302
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,672
Okay, none of this helps our situation.

303
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,563
Our board remains unchanged.

304
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:07,475
Rad graphics.

305
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,744
Dagnabbit, Walt!

306
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:10,613
Where did you get that bottle?!

307
00:11:10,637 --> 00:11:11,679
Pax Romana.

308
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:13,349
Did a whole thing in the gym.

309
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,383
Oh, cool. Okay.

310
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,341
Fear not.

311
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:18,286
While F. Snot Fitzgerald
was busy cleaning himself up,

312
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,911
I convinced Julie to change her review.

313
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,017
She will be resubmitting a rave shortly.

314
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,794
So, turns out...

315
00:11:25,818 --> 00:11:26,819
I'm a hero.

316
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:28,396
A parade would be too much,

317
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,021
but I think a cake would be too little.

318
00:11:32,204 --> 00:11:33,104
Yep?

319
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,672
Status update on the breakup?

320
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,596
Not good.

321
00:11:37,621 --> 00:11:39,508
Walt really likes
and respects your daughter.

322
00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:42,294
Emily, you're up.

323
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,779
A breakup gets Addy back on a plane

324
00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,014
and restores my freedom, so...

325
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,650
You say all that crap about
independent women or whatever.

326
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,985
Okay, um, I'm just gonna
jump into the hijinks

327
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,520
and act like I belong.

328
00:11:51,934 --> 00:11:53,247
Giddy up!

329
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,014
I'm screwed.

330
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,449
Hey.

331
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,485
So, girl time is so important.

332
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,096
I'm gonna go get Walt.

333
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:04,666
OMG! Speaking of Walt,
he seems super cool.

334
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,261
I mean, so much rizz,
and seems like he uses tissues.

335
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:11,240
Unlike lots of men
walking around these days.

336
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,685
But... I don't want you
to get sidetracked

337
00:12:13,710 --> 00:12:15,978
from the more important things in life.

338
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,202
You know, um...

339
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:18,514
you might find this hard to believe,

340
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,983
but I actually stayed
single in high school.

341
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:23,118
'Cause I had other priorities, like...

342
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:25,020
copy editing the morning announcements,

343
00:12:25,044 --> 00:12:26,977
and getting to know my aunts.

344
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,092
Oh, right, because you
didn't have computers.

345
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,218
N-no, we had computers.

346
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:33,253
We had...

347
00:12:33,278 --> 00:12:34,864
one computer for the whole family.

348
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,098
But the point is,

349
00:12:36,228 --> 00:12:40,032
my life felt very full because
I wasn't tied down to boys.

350
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:44,508
I mean, I didn't even have
S-E-X until college.

351
00:12:45,106 --> 00:12:46,774
Um, graduation.

352
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:49,202
Uh... I think a little after that.

353
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:52,281
So, you're saying I should
go for it before it's too late?

354
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,783
No! No, no, that's exactly
the opposite...

355
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,151
from what I'm saying, so...

356
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:58,919
I mean, I wouldn't wanna end up
being a sad old lady.

357
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,025
Well, that tells me you're not
spending enough time

358
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:04,159
with your aunts.

359
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,296
'Cause I would be happy
to end up like Gloria, Susan,

360
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,255
or honestly, even Dot.

361
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,490
So...

362
00:13:11,116 --> 00:13:12,217
And, um...

363
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,394
six-seven.

364
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:20,578
We're still at a five?

365
00:13:20,603 --> 00:13:21,895
Yeah. Weird, right?

366
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,079
I cleaned the fountain! We apologized.

367
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,581
You two shared a couple laughs.

368
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,917
You said she agreed to change her score.

369
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,018
Well, I could call her.

370
00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,352
Her number's on the incident report.

371
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:31,887
No, man, that's government info.

372
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,455
It's risky. Don't do that.

373
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,090
She liked me. We had a rapport.

374
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:36,158
Okay, don't get me wrong,

375
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,459
you're a tall drink of water, bud.

376
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:38,928
But it's her personal cell phone.

377
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:39,992
It's ringing.

378
00:13:40,086 --> 00:13:41,554
- Frank.
- Hello?

379
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,957
Hi, Julie. This is Frank.

380
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,459
Uh, from before. At your house.

381
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:49,195
- Rough start.
- Hi, Frank from before.

382
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,207
I was wondering if you had time to chat.

383
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:53,566
Uh, no. Unfortunately not.

384
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,779
I'm sorry to bug you.

385
00:13:54,804 --> 00:13:56,679
It was my disgusting partner's idea.

386
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:57,823
Don't do that.

387
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,973
- But I am free tonight.
- Oh?

388
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,650
I'm also free tonight.

389
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,176
Uh, you wanna...

390
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:05,220
grab a drink?

391
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:06,579
I'd love to!

392
00:14:06,604 --> 00:14:07,795
I love you, too.

393
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:09,830
I mean, I... mean...
I would love to, too.

394
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,418
Okay! I'll see you later.

395
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,387
Wow.

396
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,565
I feel like I just watched
Sully land a plane

397
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:17,800
on the Hudson River.

398
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,529
And you're the stupid goose
who almost got us all killed.

399
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,506
Hey, how did it go with Addy?

400
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,842
Um, I may or may not have convinced Addy

401
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,677
to lose her virginity to Walt.

402
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,829
- Are you kidding me?
- Yeah, things got away from me.

403
00:14:31,854 --> 00:14:33,215
I'm sorry, what do you expect, though?

404
00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,416
It's my first shenanigan!

405
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,651
So, now Walt is gonna defile

406
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,853
the most precious thing in my life.

407
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,001
My me time.

408
00:14:39,355 --> 00:14:41,155
There's only one move left.

409
00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,483
The original move.

410
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,451
Intimidation.

411
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,021
Hey, Mr. P.

412
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,542
Did anybody see me shoot this boy?

413
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,410
Hamburger help us. Is he gonna be okay?

414
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,013
Okay, I'm gonna grab
a dose of wake-up juice

415
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,517
and maybe a banana. I don't know.

416
00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:07,616
I always crave those
after I've been revived.

417
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,784
Okay. Excuse me.

418
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,753
This shenanigan is starting
to feel more like

419
00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,178
attempted murder.

420
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:14,190
Hey! Once you're in on shenanigans

421
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,282
you do not bail on shenanigans.

422
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,694
I am so mad at you right now,
and I'm so scared for Walt,

423
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,396
but I also never want
this moment to end.

424
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,164
Like, what's happening to me?

425
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,223
I got it!

426
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,788
We might have to forge
some paperwork, but I got it.

427
00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:26,845
Okay.

428
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:30,805
Hey! There he is.

429
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,308
How was your nap, buddy?

430
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,801
That... was awesome!

431
00:15:35,841 --> 00:15:38,741
That's-that's what it's supposed
to feel like.

432
00:15:38,985 --> 00:15:40,420
Awesome.

433
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,786
The essential John Philip Sousa.

434
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,930
I had this CD.

435
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,188
It's on my workout mix.

436
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,027
Tuba's great when
I'm blasting my glutes.

437
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,326
Hey, can I have a little bit more?

438
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,595
Oh, I'll check with the sommelier.

439
00:15:52,765 --> 00:15:54,833
- He says yes.
- Thank you.

440
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,104
- What?
- Hey! Just checking in.

441
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,202
How's the restaurant?

442
00:16:03,227 --> 00:16:05,107
Also, be sure to pick up the check.

443
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,475
I'm pretty sure you can expense it.

444
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,843
No, we're back at my place.

445
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,545
Okay, this is escalating.

446
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:10,379
Yeah, it is.

447
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,803
In a very carnal but respectful way.

448
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,416
I'm gonna go for it.

449
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,353
Unless there's some professional
reason this is not a good idea.

450
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,621
Well, it's a gray area.

451
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:21,056
Flip the camera around,
let me get a view of the space.

452
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,324
Sense of the vibe.

453
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,392
Yeah, I'm not doing that.

454
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,127
Well, in that case, I say go for it.

455
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,762
But to be clear on the stakes,

456
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:30,366
you are proposing that you have
sex to save all of our jobs.

457
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,067
She's playing Glory of the Yankee Navy.

458
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,872
It's my walkout song, I gotta go.

459
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,544
I can't believe you shot my boyfriend.

460
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,435
Actually, it was pretty fun.

461
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,613
Plus he apologized.

462
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,270
Yeah... no, I didn't apologize.

463
00:16:46,295 --> 00:16:48,476
Legally, it's very important
that we agree on that.

464
00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:50,088
I just gave you a hat.

465
00:16:50,602 --> 00:16:52,545
You have the coolest job.

466
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:56,115
Lizards, tranq guns,
accountability speeches.

467
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,881
You hear that, Addy?
Boyfriend thinks I'm cool.

468
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,996
Thanks so much for the ride, Mr. P.

469
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,204
You're the best.

470
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,433
Bye, Addy. See you tomorrow?

471
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,930
- See you, boo.
- Awesome.

472
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,840
That guy ruined my life,
but he's a good kid.

473
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,001
He's a dork and
I'm breaking up with him.

474
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,252
I hope you're not allergic to cat hair.

475
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,105
I'm deadly allergic, but it's okay.

476
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,068
Might be important?

477
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,863
Why don't you get that?

478
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,620
I'll be right back.

479
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,297
This is not an ongoing conversation!

480
00:17:39,322 --> 00:17:41,604
Hey, you hung up before
we could wish you good luck.

481
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,795
- We?
- Hey!

482
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,254
Oh, okay, stud!

483
00:17:44,279 --> 00:17:46,197
I see those three shirt buttons undone.

484
00:17:46,222 --> 00:17:47,743
Listen, I'm not some
sort of piece of meat.

485
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,578
Now, let me go have sex
to save our jobs.

486
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,546
Hey, Frank! It's Emily.
Good luck with the sex.

487
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,350
I can say that 'cause I'm not your boss.

488
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,985
Guys, this isn't a group project.

489
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:58,587
It kind of is, buddy.
We're all counting on you.

490
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,356
But we all know your
track record with women,

491
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,191
so don't feel like it has to be a ten.

492
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:03,657
A nine... a nine'll do, right?

493
00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:07,056
Actually, I did some quick math
and it does have to be a ten.

494
00:18:07,250 --> 00:18:08,394
Where were we?

495
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,034
About halfway through my usual
90 seconds of foreplay.

496
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,359
Oh, well...

497
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,095
Okay, well, have fun, Frank!

498
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,439
But not too much fun.

499
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,074
- Is everything okay?
- Yes.

500
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,099
Spam call.

501
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,078
No, I don't want
your stupid solar panels.

502
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,070
Come here.

503
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,439
Frank Shaw clocking in.

504
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,777
Sorry I'm late. I had to
take Addy to the airport.

505
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,982
I even stayed to make sure
the plane took off.

506
00:18:34,007 --> 00:18:35,009
Hell, yeah!

507
00:18:35,034 --> 00:18:37,159
My window of freedom is open once again.

508
00:18:37,183 --> 00:18:40,216
The ups and downs of in-office
tomfoolery are exhilarating.

509
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:42,998
And I thought writing
a budget got my heart rate up.

510
00:18:43,022 --> 00:18:44,233
You're cute when you're goofin'.

511
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,234
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

512
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:46,538
Then watch this.

513
00:18:47,498 --> 00:18:48,898
_

514
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,397
Oh, I'll call IT. I'm sorry.

515
00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,121
It's probably an easy fix.

516
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,811
- Hey!
- There he is.

517
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:59,215
Thanks for keeping my mission
such a closely-guarded secret.

518
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,783
You know, office gossip spreads,

519
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,484
usually on that office text thread.

520
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:03,619
That's where I posted it.

521
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,654
And don't be bashful, Hoss.
Everybody's just psyched

522
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,423
you took such a big swing on our behalf.

523
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,424
Yeah. Wow. Sex with a woman.

524
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:11,260
Did you remember how
everything fits together,

525
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,062
or did you have to consult some charts?

526
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:14,930
You know, maybe we could
all be adults about this

527
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,966
and respect my feelings and privacy.

528
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:19,068
Yeah, we're all just really
grateful for you, Frank.

529
00:19:19,092 --> 00:19:21,136
Because you were put
in an awkward position.

530
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,060
This guy?

531
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,405
Probably just missionary.

532
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:25,109
All right. Enough! But...

533
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,909
Who knows what Julie's gonna do?

534
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,903
I mean, maybe
she'll raise our score or...

535
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,170
lower it.

536
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:32,381
Why would she do that?

537
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,538
Is it because you were too good?

538
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:36,551
Oh, no!

539
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,177
Performance anxiety.

540
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,578
I mean, I get it.
I've never personally...

541
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,059
witnessed it, but I...
I've heard of it happening.

542
00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:46,862
Look, you guys all got in
my head with your good-natured

543
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,889
support and stupid
motivational FaceTime call.

544
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:54,661
Julie just updated her review.

545
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,793
Just read it.

546
00:19:57,056 --> 00:19:58,013
Okay.

547
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:01,010
"Upon a return visit,

548
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:04,070
"the officer attempted
to satisfy my request.

549
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:06,372
"Unfortunately, he lacked...

550
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,540
"properly functioning equipment."

551
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,722
- You need a hug.
- Don't touch me.

552
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,824
Oh, wa-wa-wait! There's more,
there's more, there's more.

553
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:17,593
"But his determination,

554
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,461
"even in the face of total failure,

555
00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,596
"was touching."

556
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,730
- Ten out of ten!
- Oh!

557
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,434
She gave you a pity ten!

558
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:26,793
Hey! There you go.

559
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,363
Hi. Hey...

560
00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:34,443
Just so you know, if you ever
need a little blue pill...

561
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:35,507
I know a guy.

562
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:36,779
My grandfather.

563
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:39,346
I'm gonna go run myself over
with a truck.

564
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,243
See, unlike you... I can get up.

565
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,487
You're a ten in our books, Frank.

566
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:46,813
Yeah.

567
00:20:49,129 --> 00:20:50,097
What's up?

568
00:20:50,764 --> 00:20:51,885
That bird.

569
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,529
I think I've seen it before.

570
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:55,521
No, all crows look the same.

571
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:57,181
Are you ready to go?

572
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:58,634
Yeah, it's just my phone.

573
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,370
I left it out there on the table.

574
00:21:00,913 --> 00:21:03,383
Okay... do you wanna get it?

575
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,341
Nope. I don't need it.

576
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:07,133
You don't need your phone?

577
00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:09,194
No.

578
00:21:15,348 --> 00:21:17,148
Everybody's gunnin' for me.

579
00:21:18,993 --> 00:21:23,066
CREDITS