1 00:00:02,602 --> 00:00:06,039 We all knew the risks when we signed up for this job. 2 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:10,043 Every call is a dance on the knife's edge. 3 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,479 So, why do we do this? 4 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:14,147 We do it for love. 5 00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:16,983 For faith. 6 00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:18,451 And also... 7 00:00:19,788 --> 00:00:22,288 - _ - For money. 8 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,425 Let's roll. 9 00:00:41,813 --> 00:00:44,146 We're here. Waiting on your signal. 10 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,579 This place stinks of crime. 11 00:00:47,614 --> 00:00:48,624 Let's crack a window. 12 00:00:48,648 --> 00:00:49,625 That's a great line. 13 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,668 Yeah, I heard him rehearse it in the truck. 14 00:00:57,991 --> 00:00:59,724 Nobody move! You're all... 15 00:01:01,027 --> 00:01:02,829 Absolutely adorable. 16 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:06,912 Come here, guys. 17 00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,744 Let's get you out of this puppy mill. 18 00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,448 Ah... watch your paws. 19 00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,381 I got a lot of glass in my beard. 20 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,342 Gabby, Joey, Purnell, and... 21 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,086 I will name you all later. 22 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,777 Backs against the wall, now. Nobody move! 23 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,658 A pig in a puppy mill? 24 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:24,727 What kind of sick genetic hybrids 25 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:25,861 are you trying to create? 26 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,263 It's not like that. 27 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,390 The-the pig keeps the puppies calm. 28 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:31,836 You wanted to play God? 29 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,669 Well, now you're gonna pay! 30 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:38,198 A $63 citation for operating an unlicensed breeding facility. 31 00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:40,309 And there's something else you should know. 32 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,699 There's a $5 convenience fee for paying with credit card. 33 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,242 Who are you guys? 34 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,379 We are... 35 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,379 - Frank and Shred. - Animal Control. 36 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,653 Sorry. Give me another chance. I'll nail it. 37 00:02:24,086 --> 00:02:27,596 CREDITS 38 00:02:27,621 --> 00:02:30,528 _ 39 00:02:31,094 --> 00:02:33,462 What saint did I punch in the face in a previous life 40 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,197 to deserve Templeton as a boss? 41 00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,189 The worst. 42 00:02:36,214 --> 00:02:37,500 What kind of a monster makes you 43 00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:39,168 clean grooming drains on the weekend? 44 00:02:39,192 --> 00:02:40,317 There was so much hair. 45 00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:42,204 It was like when I shared a shower in a hostel 46 00:02:42,228 --> 00:02:43,205 in Eastern Europe. 47 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,874 Why's your handbag screaming? 48 00:02:44,898 --> 00:02:46,876 I picked up this little guy at the puppy mill raid. 49 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:49,312 I think it's imprinted on me and like, it's cute, 50 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,372 but also really annoying. 51 00:02:50,397 --> 00:02:52,381 Oh, hey! Here's the beautiful couple 52 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:54,717 whose illicit romance got us into this hell. 53 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:56,852 I know I don't technically work here right now, 54 00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:58,054 just dropping Shred off. 55 00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,089 And I also made you guys some scones. 56 00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,624 - Yay! - I know you guys love them. 57 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,392 - Save it for later. - Yeah. 58 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,194 Today's flavor, triple cranberries, 59 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:06,896 after my boyfriend's favorite band. 60 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,799 Yes, and take it from me, this flavor will also linger. 61 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,367 This is just the kind of creativity 62 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:13,636 I can access now that I have so much free time. 63 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,871 As much as I love your journey of self-discovery, 64 00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:16,906 when are you coming back? 65 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:19,275 My lady's suspension hearing is in four weeks. 66 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,368 What? Oh, that's way too long. 67 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,245 No, I need Templeton to quit. 68 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,381 Maybe we set up a honeypot trap. 69 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,116 Victoria, you get all tarted up, 70 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,651 we catch him in an HR violation. 71 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,753 I think we just caught you in an HR violation. 72 00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,313 Fine, I'll go it alone. Old school. 73 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:35,358 I'll undermine his authority at every turn 74 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,259 until he goes insane and then quits. 75 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:39,128 That's kinda what you always do with a boss. 76 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,069 No, this is Frank Plus. Ad free. 77 00:03:41,094 --> 00:03:43,299 No, Frank, you need to get along with Templeton 78 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:44,867 and play ball until I can come back 79 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:45,965 and run the precinct again. 80 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:47,536 - Hopefully. - I make no promises. 81 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,429 For this is the time upon us 82 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,134 when all good men must look inside... 83 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,800 I was just getting started. 84 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,505 Morning meeting in one minute. 85 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,385 Men, watch your back! Sexual predator on the premises. 86 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:03,686 Can you not call me that, please? 87 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,688 'Cause I'm just in a consensual, 88 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,848 albeit currently litigated, romantic relationship. 89 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:12,318 Okay, everyone inside, unless you've been suspended. 90 00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:13,920 Okay. That's me. 91 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,431 Um, okay. I'm-I'm going. 92 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,566 - Bye. - You don't have to play me off. 93 00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,402 This is not the Tony Awards. 94 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,570 It's sad clown music 'cause you're a sad clown. 95 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,305 I'm not a sad clown, Templeton. 96 00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,898 I'm just a woman. 97 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:27,143 First time I felt bad for a trash can. 98 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,711 I can't even get the pig to eat it! 99 00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,370 I'm sorry, baby. 100 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:32,848 Hey, did you try one of Emily's scones? 101 00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:36,218 You know I only eat these when Emily is looking at me. 102 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:37,975 You'll be fine here, okay? 103 00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:40,111 Happy Monday morning, everyone. 104 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,325 I hope you had an enjoyable weekend. 105 00:04:42,349 --> 00:04:43,926 We were here snaking the drains. 106 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:44,945 Outstanding. 107 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:46,929 You also may be wondering why I have 108 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,164 such a big smile on my face. 109 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,866 No, but I am wondering if they took your braces off too early. 110 00:04:50,890 --> 00:04:52,835 Cool your beans, Frank. Cool your beans. 111 00:04:52,859 --> 00:04:54,970 It's because my new seagrass rug has been delivered. 112 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,739 So, if there's any one-on-ones in my office, 113 00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:58,641 I will be insisting you remove your shoes. 114 00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,976 Especially you, Victoria. 115 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,176 I'd rather chop my feet off. 116 00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,112 - I'm sorry, I didn't hear that. - Uh, nothing. 117 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,313 Shoes off. Got it. 118 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:07,516 But it's not just about me and my awesome new boss stuff. 119 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:08,794 It's also about you, too. 120 00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:11,354 That's why I'm instituting an update to the uniform. 121 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,246 A new utility belt. 122 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,758 Daisy here is gonna give you a little spiel. 123 00:05:16,445 --> 00:05:18,094 That looks a little heavy. 124 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,228 It really isn't. 125 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,388 This belt has everything. 126 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:23,656 Binoculars. Medical gloves. 127 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:26,602 Oh, a tiny screwdriver and a roadkill spatula. 128 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:27,930 But most importantly, 129 00:05:27,955 --> 00:05:32,140 it has the revised edition of the Employee Handbook. 130 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,776 A new foreword by yours truly. 131 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,711 Just basically my origin story. 132 00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:36,770 Hey, uh... 133 00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:38,514 - Can I see that? - Yeah, of course. 134 00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:40,371 Inspirational quotes. Salty anecdotes. 135 00:05:40,396 --> 00:05:41,384 If you're a delicate reader, 136 00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:43,152 you might wanna skip the Montreal section. 137 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,711 Yeah. Interesting. 138 00:05:51,363 --> 00:05:52,896 That's insubordination. 139 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,064 So, now you will all have to skip lunch 140 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:58,000 and express the anal glands of the sheep we picked up 141 00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,135 at the petting zoo. 142 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,069 - What? - No! 143 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,405 You can thank your buddy Frank for that. 144 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:03,797 Aw, Frank! 145 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:04,907 Shaw. In my office. 146 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,942 Yeah, I got some stuff to say to you, too. 147 00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:09,078 Ah-da-da-da-da. Your boots. Your boots. 148 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,147 - Wait, are you serious? - As a heart attack. 149 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,572 Boots comin' off. 150 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,051 Out of respect for the craftsmanship of the rug, 151 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,614 not your leadership. 152 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,523 All right, let's do this. 153 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,258 Oh, sorry. We'll have to do this later. 154 00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:24,050 Some boss stuff came up. 155 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,394 I just took my boots off. 156 00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,686 You did. 157 00:06:34,664 --> 00:06:35,704 Okay. 158 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:36,796 Hey. 159 00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:38,665 Bye-bye. 160 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,333 Okay. 161 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,044 Do you want this door open or closed? 162 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,748 - Open's fine. - Okay. 163 00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,438 Oh. So sorry. That's terrible. 164 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,851 - What? - No, I wish... 165 00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,419 we had a choice, but we don't. 166 00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,512 Mm-hmm. I love you too, baby. 167 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,192 I just got the most amazing news. 168 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:57,326 My mother-in-law is sick. 169 00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:58,327 She was right! 170 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,229 You marrying Maya will be the death of her. 171 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,764 No, she's gonna pull through. 172 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:02,999 She's gotta have surgery. 173 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,334 So, Maya's gonna take the kids to India, help her recover! 174 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,360 No kids? Wow! 175 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,238 Whatever will you complain about? 176 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,339 I have no idea. 177 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,707 I'm sure you'll find something. 178 00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:13,793 Frank's calling a meeting on the secret channel. 179 00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:17,647 - The goat's in the meadow. - Nice. 180 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,073 The cow is in the corn. 181 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,350 Line secure, proceed. 182 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:22,885 Oh... I'll proceed. 183 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,454 Frank couldn't be chill and I missed my lunch. 184 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,756 That I will not abide. 185 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,491 This is all part of Templeton's plan. 186 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:29,892 He wants us to turn on each other. 187 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,194 Oh, no. Don't worry, we're not. We're turning on you. 188 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:33,996 Yeah, and Emily was very clear. 189 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,732 She said to keep our heads down until her suspension is over. 190 00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,087 Well, Emily's not here. 191 00:07:38,112 --> 00:07:40,603 She's at the quarry sourcing new ingredients for her scones. 192 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:41,737 I'm just going to say it. 193 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,639 I think you're taking this a little too personally. 194 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,107 This is not about me. 195 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,275 None of us should feel good 196 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,610 about where our hands were at lunch. 197 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,012 He's right, everything with Templeton is getting out of hand. 198 00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:51,747 He started timing our bathroom breaks. 199 00:07:51,771 --> 00:07:54,517 No, he's not timing our bathroom breaks. What? 200 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:55,785 Is-is that just me? 201 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,887 He's an intolerable perv who has to go. 202 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,655 But I can't make him quit on my own. 203 00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,558 We've gotta present a united front of insubordination. 204 00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:03,926 For this is the time upon us 205 00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,395 when all good men must reach down deep... 206 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,854 Oh, shut up! 207 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,165 Fine, I'll do it. 208 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,400 I got a bad feeling in my stomach about this, but... 209 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,624 that might be the scones. I'm in. 210 00:08:13,727 --> 00:08:15,671 Sorry, Templeton, he's really not timing 211 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:17,440 anybody else in the bathroom? Just me? 212 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,631 Nope. 213 00:08:18,958 --> 00:08:20,083 I'm in. 214 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,178 I figured out what I wanna do first 215 00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,679 with my two months of freedom. 216 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:24,814 I'll tell you what it is. 217 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,716 In a-one, a-two, a-one, two, three! 218 00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,473 - It's drums? - It's drums. 219 00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:29,890 I've always wanted to hit the high hat, 220 00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:31,326 but my parents wouldn't let me. 221 00:08:31,351 --> 00:08:32,788 Then my babies didn't let me. 222 00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:34,171 See, my family, they've always been 223 00:08:34,196 --> 00:08:35,864 my greatest obstacle to joy. 224 00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:38,018 Until now. 225 00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:38,977 Wow. 226 00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,754 Purchased. 227 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,199 Quiet! He's coming! 228 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,567 How are those glands? 229 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,268 Are the sheep all smiling? 230 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:47,303 We're good to go, boss. 231 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,404 That's the spirit. 232 00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:50,606 Keep it up and I might reward you with some high tea 233 00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,041 in the boss's office. 234 00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,209 Oh, I'd like that. 235 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,200 Okay. 236 00:09:02,255 --> 00:09:03,677 My seagrass! 237 00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:10,426 What happened, did the sheep not take their shoes off? 238 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,627 Of course it's you. 239 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,195 Having fun with the new boss. 240 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,463 Razzing El Jefe. 241 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:15,584 Is that the best you got? 242 00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,633 Oh, you better find the cool side of the pillow 243 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,435 because your nightmare has just begun. 244 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:20,870 I'm not gonna rest until you quit. 245 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,705 I guess you're gonna learn the hard way. 246 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,607 You don't come between a man and his rug. 247 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,709 I have watched and heard you eat spaghetti. 248 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,532 There's nothing you can do to hurt me. 249 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,448 Are you sure about that? 250 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,415 'Cause your dream call just came in. 251 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:36,109 The Seattle Seahawks' mascot has escaped to Pocket Beach. 252 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,244 Wait. 253 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,177 Taima is missing? 254 00:09:40,202 --> 00:09:41,991 It's real! Adam Schefter reporting. 255 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:43,926 It's the kinda call you wait your whole career for. 256 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,728 A chance to buddy up with Seahawks players. 257 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,729 Season tickets. 258 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,631 Maybe become the practice squad long snapper 259 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,599 and get subbed in last-second in the Super Bowl? 260 00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:53,035 Ah, too bad I already gave the call to Daisy. 261 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,937 Eh. She'll appreciate the perks. 262 00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:58,231 Listen, we... both got heated here. 263 00:09:58,256 --> 00:09:59,390 Too late. 264 00:09:59,425 --> 00:10:00,865 You lost the call. 265 00:10:01,648 --> 00:10:02,768 You know what? 266 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,343 You're right. 267 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,909 I'll help you clean the rug. 268 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,876 Okay. Thank you. 269 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:11,654 Hey, where are you going? 270 00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,755 Play action pass! 271 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,956 I don't recognize your authority! 272 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:16,447 Get back here! That's a direct order! 273 00:10:20,929 --> 00:10:22,397 Stand down, Daisy! 274 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,499 This bird is mine. 275 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,067 Templeton said I was getting the bird. 276 00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,403 I don't care what that bag of yogurt has to say. 277 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:28,571 And you shouldn't either. 278 00:10:28,595 --> 00:10:30,406 Your friendship is unnatural. 279 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,364 Nuh-uh! 280 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:34,410 You are not wearing your regulation uniform utility belt. 281 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,511 Don't need it. 282 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:37,215 Don't need a damn thing. 283 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:38,605 Actually... 284 00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:39,815 I need my net. 285 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,183 And sunglasses, too. 286 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,385 Maybe some water. 287 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,089 You know, and some gum. 288 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:46,046 What the hell? 289 00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:46,989 Where's the latch? 290 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,090 It's hidden for your safety. 291 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,092 Should've paid attention during our belt tutorial. 292 00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,129 - It's so tight! - It should be. 293 00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,626 Taima. 294 00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:02,805 At least with Frank and Templeton at war, 295 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,509 we finally get lunch. 296 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,599 Oh, just calm down. Calm down! 297 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,381 - Oh, God. - Is that Emily? Don't lie. 298 00:11:11,406 --> 00:11:13,215 She's bringing in a mid-day scone basket. 299 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:14,617 - No. - Let me tell you something. 300 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,805 You need to make her stop. 301 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:17,353 I don't know what that is, but it's not food. 302 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,021 Can one of you guys convince Emily that 303 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,489 I have an eating disorder? 304 00:11:20,684 --> 00:11:22,215 I'm back! 305 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,029 Someone got inspired. 306 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,128 Okay, guys, she's really into the baking thing, 307 00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,463 and she needs this right now. 308 00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,597 And who knows, 309 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:29,865 maybe this batch could be delicious. 310 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,000 Stop lying to yourself. 311 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,501 It's a new relationship, Victoria. 312 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,070 I just started lying to myself. 313 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,261 Hello! 314 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,562 - Hey! - Hey. 315 00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:38,007 It's scone time again. 316 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,766 - Hi, baby. - Scone time. 317 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,243 I'm calling this one The Shred. 318 00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,879 Because you love olive bread and you love blueberries. 319 00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,114 What did you do? 320 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,149 - Just try one. - Uh, maybe later. 321 00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,240 No, now! I wanna see your face. 322 00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,744 - Okay. - Okay. 323 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,081 Here's the thing. 324 00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:56,516 What? 325 00:11:58,451 --> 00:12:00,730 I'm just really excited to try one of these right now. 326 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,165 Baby, that's so sweet. You really are. 327 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,800 You're, like, shaking. 328 00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,769 Frank's mutiny needs to be punished. 329 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:08,637 Get me a list of all the dogs with rotten mouth. 330 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,030 All right. Okay. 331 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:12,274 Okay. Um, that was a close call. 332 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:13,676 Um, I-I better go. 333 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,144 Thank God. Really, you sure? 334 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,179 Patel, will you take a video of him eating it, though? 335 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:18,814 I just, I really wanna know what you think. 336 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,273 - Okay. - Call me. 337 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,430 I'm not gonna let Templeton's stupid belt slow me down. 338 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:29,949 I'm dropping ballast like the brave men of Apollo 13. 339 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,885 You're kicking sand on me! 340 00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,524 It is an honor to capture a Super Bowl champion. 341 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,497 Please tell me that's me from the future. 342 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,904 Surf's up, Frank! 343 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,540 Life's a beach. 344 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:57,177 My, how the tides have turned. 345 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,654 Oh, just pick one. 346 00:12:58,678 --> 00:12:59,713 Surf's up. 347 00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,557 Hurry up. I'm not maternal. 348 00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,514 I'm not gonna hold your hand. 349 00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:04,718 Oh, my God. 350 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,796 Is that a dog grooming bandana? 351 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,797 'Cause you don't even have drums yet. 352 00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:11,789 Dress for the hobby you want. 353 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,294 Stop! I feel sorry for you. 354 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,839 Hey. Sorry, uh, could you help me out here? 355 00:13:16,863 --> 00:13:19,075 I heard there's a big puppy adoption going on. 356 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,067 Sorry. We're fresh out, so... 357 00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,756 However, if you would like something equally as adorable 358 00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:29,318 and currently just as small, right now. 359 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,862 I do have this guy. 360 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,078 Aww. 361 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,990 Uh, are these easy pets? 362 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,145 Yes. Very easy. 363 00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:38,051 They sleep... all day and eat your garbage. 364 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,729 You know what? I'm gonna let you... 365 00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:40,830 hold him, because... 366 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,288 Look at you guys! 367 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:43,861 That's a good sound. He's super excited. 368 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:46,168 I'm gonna go get that adoption paperwork for you to fill out. 369 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:47,872 - Yeah? Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 370 00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:52,499 Hey, Roman! 371 00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:53,743 Hand over the bird. 372 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,411 I'm on official Animal Control business. 373 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,279 That's funny. That's why I'm here, too. 374 00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:58,681 I don't know if you saw my Insta, 375 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,517 but I'm starting my own private animal control company. 376 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,552 Look, if you wanna become me, I recommend starting with 377 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,855 a trip overseas for leg lengthening surgery. 378 00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,690 Not everything's about you, Frank. 379 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,759 There's a lot of untapped money in your industry. 380 00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:10,893 Okay, just give me the bird. 381 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,162 You can't just start your own animal control company. 382 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,364 - You need... - State of the art drones? 383 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,828 Driverless trucks? 384 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,291 Ta-da! 385 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,902 Sick sunbrella headwear. 386 00:14:20,546 --> 00:14:23,196 My startup is going to be sleek, 387 00:14:23,329 --> 00:14:26,022 tech-driven and innovation forward. 388 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,177 Look, I can save you a bunch of time 389 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,334 and just set your money on fire. 390 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:31,905 Pax Romana. 391 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,783 So, you've besmirched the Latin language 392 00:14:33,807 --> 00:14:35,751 and the memory of Emperor Augustus. 393 00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:37,853 Your world's about to get very dark. 394 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,656 Just like yours, every time you put on an adult-size hat? 395 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,681 Car? 396 00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:44,827 Please take me to where the Seahawks do their rehearsals. 397 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,286 Jealous? 398 00:14:46,311 --> 00:14:47,898 Veni, vidi, vici! 399 00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,290 Drone, follow and record. 400 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,437 Hey, was this plastic rake on your belt? 401 00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,528 Or did I just steal from a kid? 402 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,766 - You! - Oh, don't you "you" me. 403 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,112 Your pudgy little finger. 404 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,880 I just lost the most important bird in my life. 405 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,950 Daisy said you let a private animal control company best you. 406 00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,186 It's not a real company. It was just Roman. 407 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,121 And I would've caught Taima if you hadn't made me 408 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,956 wear a Home Depot around my waist. 409 00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:15,491 Come on, Roman's had a jump on you ever since 410 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,827 your sheep insurrection plan fizzled. 411 00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,531 History will be kind. 412 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,730 It was symbolic. 413 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:21,998 It got its message across. 414 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,499 - Which was? - Your rules... 415 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,335 like you buying birth control, are sad and pointless. 416 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,704 You know your rank insubordination is the rot 417 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,872 at the heart of this precinct. 418 00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:32,208 Somebody needs to do something about you. 419 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,609 I'd like to see somebody try. 420 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:34,844 Well, somebody's about to. 421 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,712 I challenge you to a fight in the kennel. 422 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:37,746 Doggy style. 423 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,115 - And if you win... - I will. 424 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,850 I'll step down as your supervisor. 425 00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,284 - But if I win... - Ha! 426 00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:44,754 You'll accept your role as my loyal underling. 427 00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,218 My forever lackey. 428 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,014 - My biznotch. - You're on. 429 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,126 I can't wait to tell your parents that their son's 430 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,506 last word was biznotch. 431 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:56,365 You know, I hate to say it, 432 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:58,501 but this is what happens when men are in charge. 433 00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,169 A few ground rules. Taint's off limits. 434 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,126 Unless it's a finishing move. 435 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,464 - No, thanks. No. - That's not right. 436 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,912 Oh, good. You found a way to make this even weirder. 437 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,514 Oil wrestling's not weird. 438 00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,805 It's the national sport of Turkey. 439 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,378 - Okay. - Oh, man. 440 00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,514 Hurry up. 441 00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:24,951 Let's go. 442 00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:26,286 All right. 443 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,266 Cover your skin tags, T! That's an easy hold. 444 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:32,157 Put that body on him, Frank. 445 00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,533 Try to get a grip. 446 00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,796 Get up in there. Yeah! 447 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,996 Didn't expect all the sounds. 448 00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,044 No, don't go into his guard, Frank. 449 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,370 Kick out of it! 450 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,770 - Where are we? - Flip him over! 451 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:47,817 - Oh! - A hundred bucks 452 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,576 the dumb one loses! 453 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,684 Either way, I win. 454 00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:53,747 Oh, this? 455 00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:57,598 Just some thank you swag from the boys in blue and green. 456 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,961 That should be my swag! 457 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,363 That should be my swag! 458 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,599 - Finishing move! - Stop! 459 00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:04,333 Beating you idiots will be easier than I thought. 460 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,459 We get it. You caught the bird. 461 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:08,595 Now you gloat. Okay... 462 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,363 Time out! Time out. 463 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,932 That's not all I caught. For I... 464 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,536 snagged my very own city contract. 465 00:17:16,561 --> 00:17:17,495 What? 466 00:17:17,566 --> 00:17:20,983 With the stroke of my commemorative Sam Darnold pen, 467 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,610 I now officially take over your friends 468 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:24,943 at Precinct 17. 469 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,591 We're in the middle of a very important oil wrestling match, 470 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,827 and there's no way this city is gonna allow you to take over 471 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,908 the whole east side. 472 00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,864 It's just a pilot program, but who knows? 473 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:35,889 Pretty soon 474 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:39,201 my company could take over all of Seattle Animal Control. 475 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,336 I've had enough of you, Roman. 476 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,004 Take your shirt off. It's go time. 477 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:44,473 No can do, I'm allergic to most oils. 478 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:45,492 And look at you. 479 00:17:45,517 --> 00:17:47,331 Just a bunch of Neanderthals. 480 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,270 But I'm taking Seattle into the future! 481 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,606 Starting with my next post on Insta. 482 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,443 Drone! 483 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,222 Oh, my gosh. No photos. 484 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,513 Daisy, get the catch pole. Get it. 485 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,129 Roman just keeps coming back. 486 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,231 I'm glad I'm shirtless for this moment. 487 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,977 It's too ominous for clothing. 488 00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,636 Thank you for picking me up, babe. 489 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,495 You're welcome, baby. 490 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,706 Hey, I was, um, 491 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:18,407 just going through the trash outside the precinct, 492 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,867 and look what I found. 493 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,281 I told the janitor to empty the garbage off site. 494 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,407 Yeah, I mean, what's going on? 495 00:18:26,432 --> 00:18:28,050 Do you, like, hate my scones or something? 496 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,552 - Be honest... - Yes! Yes. 497 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,154 Everybody. And I've seen Patel eat melted ice cream cake 498 00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,289 off of a picnic table. 499 00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,124 What do you mean, everyone does? 500 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,892 That was, like, a rhetorical question. 501 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,027 Why didn't you tell me? 502 00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,662 You were just so excited about baking. 503 00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,264 And I was happy you found something 'cause you were, like, 504 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,333 really down when you first got suspended. 505 00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,835 Yeah, of course I was down. 506 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,403 I mean, my job is, like, everything to me. 507 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,296 Other than you. 508 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,707 Okay. It felt like an add-on, 509 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,780 but I know your career is very important. 510 00:18:57,037 --> 00:18:58,838 Don't cry. It's okay. 511 00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:00,149 You can take a baking course! 512 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:01,851 I'm not crying about the stupid scones. 513 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:05,612 I just, I feel, like, really lost right now. 514 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,224 I don't know, I thought I could distract myself with a hobby, 515 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,593 but apparently I've just weaponized baking. 516 00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:13,195 Hey, I hear that. But you're not lost right now. 517 00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:14,919 You're who you've always been. 518 00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:16,423 My lady. 519 00:19:16,883 --> 00:19:18,483 Who I'm crazy about. 520 00:19:18,792 --> 00:19:22,204 Okay? And you're gonna get your job back in, like, a month. 521 00:19:22,228 --> 00:19:23,673 Yeah, but what if I don't? 522 00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:24,597 You will! 523 00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:26,575 'Cause you're the most incredible boss ever. 524 00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,211 I don't know, you guys seem to be doing just fine without me. 525 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,313 Are you serious? 526 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,349 Do you know that Templeton oil wrestled Frank today? 527 00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:35,818 Roman Park started his own private animal control. 528 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,186 Betty spaghetti! What? 529 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,446 We are falling apart without you. 530 00:19:39,852 --> 00:19:40,923 Are you just saying that? 531 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,758 'Cause I know you're a really good liar now. 532 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,928 Lady at the DMV didn't even blink when I said I was 5'11". 533 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,229 5'11" now, are we? 534 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:48,822 Okay. Okay. 535 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:54,670 - When did you bite me? - I don't remember. 536 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:55,729 Fog of war. 537 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,796 Look... 538 00:19:57,063 --> 00:20:00,600 Roman may look like a breakfast cereal mascot, but... 539 00:20:00,625 --> 00:20:01,677 he's a real threat. 540 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,834 In order to save the precinct... 541 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,338 Just choked back some bile. 542 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:08,541 I think we... 543 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,653 should set aside our professional, personal, 544 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,913 and genetic differences and work together. 545 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,191 I grudgingly agree, 546 00:20:15,216 --> 00:20:17,883 but you gotta give Daddy something first. 547 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:19,362 Just... bile again. 548 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,297 No more mean-spirited pranks from you 549 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,521 and your pack of yapping jackals. 550 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,401 No more dumb uniform accessories, 551 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,837 forced workouts, or unsolicited backrubs. 552 00:20:27,861 --> 00:20:28,762 Fine. 553 00:20:29,029 --> 00:20:30,439 We win this war... 554 00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:31,774 then we finish this fight. 555 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,143 Looks like we've entered into a coalition 556 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,869 of unpleasant necessity. 557 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,380 That's a word-burger. 558 00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,914 Why don't we just call it a C.U.N.? 559 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:39,882 - No! - You know what? 560 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,175 The Coalition. We'll call it The Coalition. 561 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:45,078 Okay. What do you... have... 562 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:47,322 - Sorry. Still very slick. - Gross. 563 00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:50,831 I'm gonna go get that dish soap they use on the oil spill ducks. 564 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,266 I don't know what's worse. 565 00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:58,734 The guy returning this super clingy pig 566 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,202 or me having to look at that every day. 567 00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:03,490 It's weird, his eyes are following me wherever I go. 568 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,368 Hey. Pretty great, huh? 569 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:12,238 Next time you look up at God, know that I'll be there 570 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,849 stealing your prayers. 571 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,985 Can't wait to see you covered in bird crap. 572 00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:19,155 Nah, I got some squeegee boys coming in once a week. 573 00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:21,214 Car? Peel out... 574 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,296 at speed limit. 575 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,456 Okay, everybody grab a rock. 576 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,591 Yep. Fresh outta the oven. 577 00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,774 Three, two, one! 578 00:21:39,020 --> 00:21:43,047 CREDITS