1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:04,470
Chinese girls. Sweet, innocent,
submissive Chinese girls.

2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,070
Conservative and virginal.

3
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,110
Good at maths, Ping-Pong
and looking after men.

4
00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:10,310
Screw that.

5
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,870
Here are three Chinese girls who
kicked that shit in the ballbag.

6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,650
Jackie.

7
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,190
Angry, offensive, alpha female.

8
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,910
We're taking over the world!

9
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,630
Elizabeth ... desperate, self-loathing,

10
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,430
failed Chinese daughter.

11
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,990
I'm from Taiwan, delicious bitch!

12
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,760
Fufu, cookie, random, fresh off the plane.

13
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,990
We're Chinese girls in London, bitches.

14
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,000
And you're going to love us long time!

15
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,710
Nice Thai prostitute. Scream
like a Korean prostitute.

16
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,360
Scream like a Saudi prostitute.

17
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,190
- Are you really auditioning for
a prostitute again? - I hope not.

18
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,590
If I have to be a hooker,
an illegal immigrant or

19
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,670
- take a white girl again, I'm going
to kill somebody. - Well, we're broke.

20
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,470
- Maybe you should get a real job.
- Fuck that shit!

21
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,310
- I just won't eat.
- OK, scream like a Japanese prostitute.

22
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,150
Konichiwa, you look delicious, bitch!

23
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:16,470
I'm from Taiwan, delicious bitch!

24
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,390
Just warning you, going to Acton's
going to cost you a pretty penny.

25
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,040
Oh, no, let me check.

26
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,310
- This one's pretty.
- No, no, no.

27
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:30,590
- I mean, it's going to cost
you a lot of money. - Oh, no!

28
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,430
In Buddhism, we say that genuine
wealth comes not from money

29
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,710
but through friendship. I'm
happy to be your friend.

30
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,230
Yeah...

31
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,440
- No, I'm going with
the actual money. - Oh.

32
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,390
- Hi. - Who the...? - Fufu?

33
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,390
You're... here?

34
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,720
Hi, Elizabeth.

35
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,160
My suitcase are outside.

36
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,200
What are you doing here?

37
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,990
I'm here to fulfil my dream as
a fashion designer in London.

38
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,510
Who's Downton Abbey?

39
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:11,870
We're childhood friends.

40
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,270
It's very kind to meet you.

41
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:19,030
- I'm also your flatmate. - What?!
- Your parents said it was OK.

42
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:20,230
Fucking Chinese parents.

43
00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,840
They said you are a
wine expert, a sommelier.

44
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:26,350
Are you?

45
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,230
Your apartment is so small!

46
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,950
OK, Nanny McPhee needs to go.

47
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:36,110
- It's an apartment for
poor people? - Yes.

48
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,430
I heard you work in
Michelin-starred restaurant

49
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,910
and your boyfriend's a banker.

50
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,230
Ollie dumped her on WhatsApp, and
now she just sleeps with randoms.

51
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,110
And, no, she's not a sommeli...

52
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,670
- Thanks. Bye, Lynn.
- Liz.

53
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,790
He was sweet. Maybe he's the one.

54
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,430
Oh, hi, darling.

55
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,830
Yeah, sorry, had to get a hotel
last night. How are the kids?

56
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,830
Right, you need to stop having
self-destructive one night stands.

57
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,710
You've been standing all night?

58
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,160
Yeah, up against a wall. She's a lan guan.

59
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:12,260
Jackie!

60
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:23,310
- Hello, Jackie. - I'm not Jackie.
- Oh, you look so much like Jackie.

61
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,390
You know... with the eyes?

62
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:31,190
- Erm... Who are you?
- My name is Fufu.

63
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,280
- I'm Elizabeth friend from Taiwan.
- Welcome to London.

64
00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:42,270
By the way, have you seen Elizabeth
or Jackie? They owe me rent.

65
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,910
Yes, this is their home. They're here.

66
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,710
Oh, great.

67
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:53,670
- They said they are not here.
- Not here as in not here right now or...?

68
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,630
Oh! I love your dog! It's so cute.

69
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,350
Is it a boy or girl?

70
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:04,310
- Fluffy is a bitch.
- Mm! What a delicious bitch.

71
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,750
- What?
- Oh, I can just eat her up.

72
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,430
Right, I think it's best
if I come back tomorrow

73
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,070
and make the relevant passes.

74
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,150
Bye!

75
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:16,270
I can't believe she's here.

76
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,110
Just tell her you're not a sommelier.

77
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,750
Yeah, and she'll tell my parents.

78
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:22,110
I'm already the biggest
disappointment in their lives.

79
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,870
Well, my mum always said life
is like a box of biscuits...

80
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,670
It's chocolates. Look, I'm serious.

81
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,710
Don't say anything to Fufu
about me, she won't get it.

82
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,470
- Fufu! We need to get to work.
- OK.

83
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,550
I'm going to explore London's closet.

84
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:41,990
Like Camden, Brick Lane,
and Covent Garden.

85
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,510
Is this enough for shopping?

86
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,150
Maybe you shouldn't carry
so much cash on you.

87
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,070
- I have more in my suitcases.
- In our house? - Uh-huh.

88
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,150
Kerching.

89
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,320
- Maybe she COULD stay with us.
- No.

90
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:00,430
Wagwan.

91
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:01,760
No?

92
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,910
Thanks for coming in.

93
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,190
We can't reveal much yet but
it's a very exciting project.

94
00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,390
This is Dominic, our director.

95
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,160
- Hi.
- Hey. So...

96
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:20,910
It will be highly stylised.
Much like a Wong Kar-Wai film.

97
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,790
It's about the internal
struggle of humanity.

98
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:28,830
A woman faced with adversity
triumphs against all odds.

99
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,950
It speaks to our sense of
connection with the world around us.

100
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,200
- Can you please read the lines?
- Sure.

101
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,910
Just to be clear...

102
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:45,430
if you want anal, it will cost you extra.

103
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:50,910
Could you make it... a bit more...

104
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:57,320
You know how in China you speak
with... Like, a tonal lint?

105
00:05:58,560 --> 00:05:59,750
A what?

106
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,160
Never mind. Can you do martial arts?

107
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,510
- I don't ask you if you
can rap, do I, Denzel? - OK.

108
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:13,550
Can you please read the next lines
as it's written in a Chinese accent?

109
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:19,560
Herro, herro, my father, I sink
he dead. I sink he missing.

110
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,870
Help me.

111
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,270
Are you fucking kidding me?

112
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,590
I mean, if you want me to be
racist, at least get it right.

113
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,830
Chinese people don't say "herro" with Rs,

114
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,510
that's a Japanese stereotype.

115
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,400
And for fuck's sake we don't
all talk like Bruce Lee!

116
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,320
So, she can do martial arts.

117
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,920
She is a fucking BLEEP!

118
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:17,520
All right, all right, mei-mei?

119
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,590
I'm not your mei-mei, and
I'm sweating like a pig.

120
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,470
Yeah, a sexy pig!

121
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,870
You look hot.

122
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,040
That's because I'm boiling, you idiot.

123
00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,110
I'm sorry. I shouldn't speak
to my manager like that.

124
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,110
It's just that nobody's
taking any leaflets, and...

125
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,680
Do you have a boner?

126
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,630
Oh, yeah!

127
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,790
Have you heard about my one-inch dick?

128
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,790
That doesn't sound very healthy.

129
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,870
No, no, my dick...

130
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,030
can penetrate your whole body.

131
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,870
OK, I'm just going to take my break.

132
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,870
Right. Cool.

133
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,390
# Hey Fatty Boom Boom

134
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,590
# Hit me with the Ching-ching

135
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,830
# Fat pocket clinking,
dollar eye twinkling

136
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,150
# Jeez da beats so chunky
# Me'sa getting funky

137
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,790
# Oh-oh oh-oh

138
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:10,070
# Hey Fatty Boom Boom

139
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,430
Hit me with the Ching-ching

140
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:12,830
# Fat pocket clinking. #

141
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,200
For the wine, I have also the cabernet...

142
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,390
Choose the 2009!

143
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,630
- Um... - The health of Burgundian
grapes... - Other wines...

144
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,200
.. in 2009 was exceptional!

145
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,560
Excusez-moi.

146
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,830
No!

147
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,670
I told you before, stop coming here!

148
00:08:34,220 --> 00:08:35,010
Ow!

149
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,350
Did you see that? He kicked me!

150
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,830
You know, one day, I'm going
to be a famous sommelier.

151
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,910
Don't you know that Chinese
people are the best at everything?

152
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,030
We're taking over the world!

153
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,560
Argh!

154
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:52,390
# New York, LA

155
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:53,950
# Tokyo, Berlin

156
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,230
# Miami, Rio, Milan... #

157
00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:58,790
Watch it, you twat.

158
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,910
I love your handbag, you twat!

159
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,150
# I get a lot of love, all
smiles when I step in the function

160
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,790
# I'm a local boy, I'm from the east side

161
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,830
# Now I'm jet settin, I'm
reppin, I'll do it worldwide

162
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,230
# When I was a kid there was a rough ride

163
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,230
# Barely had the money for a
bus ride, now I'm on the upside

164
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,190
# Having a ball with all
the bredders I grew up with

165
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:18,750
# A couple of women I'm in the club with

166
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,790
# Bottle of bubbly, feeling
lovely, women are hugging me

167
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,030
# Nobody can tell me nothing
and nobody can never trouble me

168
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,430
# It's all good, pure positive vibes

169
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,590
# For the most part everybody's
just tryna live their lives

170
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,470
# We're not afraid to die,
only the strong survive

171
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,430
# You don't know if you don't
try, the stakes are high

172
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,070
# And it's the city
where I earned my crown

173
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,430
# God knows that I love this town

174
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,430
# The city lights are extra bright

175
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,070
# They shine for us. #

176
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,350
There you go. Fucking racists.

177
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,830
Good audition, eh?

178
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,350
They want a Chinese prostitute
who does martial arts

179
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,030
and says shit like, "Herro".

180
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,830
All right, sweetheart?

181
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,920
This is my manager, Huang Lo.

182
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,400
Actually, it's Hung Lo.

183
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,870
My friends call me Hung,

184
00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,670
for a large reason.

185
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,350
You're Chinese, so I doubt it, Hung.

186
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,630
Wait, she's kidding!

187
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:17,800
That's my boss.

188
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,950
What are you wearing, Elizabeth?

189
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,590
Says the Chinese Jew.

190
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,310
How come you're here?

191
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,790
What do you want?

192
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,310
It's my agent.

193
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,990
Stop putting me up for two-cent hookers.

194
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,350
Hookers only get paid two cents?

195
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,670
What?

196
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,590
Oh, OK, OK.

197
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,790
So, apparently, the
director loved my boldness

198
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,070
and wants me back for a
recall this afternoon.

199
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,830
You said the audition was racist.

200
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,550
Who cares? I got the recall!

201
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,840
Get back to work!

202
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,320
Yes, as a sommelier...

203
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,070
.. in a fancy restaurant.

204
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,510
Yo! What am I going to do with this?

205
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,990
# Come drink me

206
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,990
# I so yummy, yummy tea

207
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,350
# Bubble, bubble. #
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

208
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,710
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

209
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,560
Liz?

210
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,040
Liz?

211
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,310
- Oh, hi, Olly!
- Hi.

212
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,150
God, fancy seeing you here!

213
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,830
And, uh... who's this?

214
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,190
Oh, this is Molly.

215
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,480
Molly! Wow.

216
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,190
Olly and Molly.

217
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,550
- Yeah.
- That is terrific.

218
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,470
You're so...

219
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,390
- white.
- What?

220
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,230
Oh, I think you... you
called me last night.

221
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,030
What? I did?

222
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,070
It must have been a butt-dial.

223
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,200
Your butt said, "Fuck you, Olly."

224
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,950
Such a rude butt.

225
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,230
It's an asshole.

226
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,310
So, you're... you're doing
this now. That's great.

227
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,270
Oh, yeah. This thing.

228
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,430
It's just temporary. It's just...

229
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,630
It's just...

230
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,600
It's a little... It's...

231
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,550
Oh, she is just the cutest thing.

232
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,040
Good luck with...

233
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,110
Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!

234
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,430
# Hey, Fatty Boom Boom Hit
me with the Ching-ching

235
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:21,790
# Fat pocket clinking Dollar eye twinkling

236
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,350
# Jeez da beats so
chunky Me'sa getting funky

237
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,950
# Oh-oh oh-oh

238
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,590
# Hey, Fatty Boom Boom... #

239
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,710
Jesus!

240
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:30,950
Hey!

241
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,520
What your friend said was BS.

242
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,960
I don't have a small dick.

243
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,270
Look, I know you want to
do your wine and shit.

244
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,550
But, you know, if we get to
know each other a bit better,

245
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,230
then I can get you a 50p raise,

246
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,840
so you can buy more Tesco fine wines.

247
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,230
My agent said you want
me to read for the lead?

248
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,550
Yes. Forget about the Chinese prostitute.

249
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,680
Here are the sides for the lead.

250
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,720
She was originally written
as a white character, but...

251
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,710
Now, remember, your
character is a humanitarian

252
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:20,230
trying to stop trafficking.

253
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:21,750
She tells people what she thinks,

254
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,870
but plays her cards close to her chest.

255
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:27,840
She's an introvert, but
is fiery and passionate.

256
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,190
Right. I totally got that.

257
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,120
No-o-o!

258
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,270
You do not make sense.

259
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,200
Your brain's not very strong.

260
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,870
I'm so sorry. Don't mind her.

261
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,760
Right. Why don't you do the lines?

262
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,630
The money these girls
make is, like, nine cows

263
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:56,990
and one string of cow hair.

264
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,310
No!

265
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,190
Is there a problem?

266
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:05,150
Yes. These lines are very rubbish.

267
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,630
Who is the writer?

268
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,000
I am.

269
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,120
You are a very bad writer.

270
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,990
I'm a what?

271
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,230
Or maybe just because
Jackie's a very bad actress.

272
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,910
Is that why you never get a job?

273
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,510
She should not be the lead. Never.

274
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,520
I'm supposed to be married by now.

275
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:34,230
Chinese families are fucked up!

276
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:38,110
So much pressure on us to
be number one at everything.

277
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,630
I had to learn piano, ballet,

278
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,070
kung fu, badminton,

279
00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:45,750
weightlifting, violin,

280
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,150
goddamn Chinese paper cutting!

281
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,520
I still have scars on my fingers!

282
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,720
Thanks. Thanks.

283
00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,270
~

284
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,760
What he's saying is...

285
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,950
You know what? She's your problem now.

286
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,710
Good recall, eh?

287
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,230
Your best friend just cost
me the role of a lifetime.

288
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,510
You're welcome.

289
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,670
I am not thanking you, you twat!

290
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,390
You are very welcome, you twat.

291
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,470
Ohhh.

292
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,320
English pub.

293
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,830
Smell like toilet.

294
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,030
Elizabeth, how was work
at your restaurant?

295
00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,910
Can I visit sometime?

296
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,190
Can we go there for dinner tonight?

297
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,440
OK.

298
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,590
I'm not a fucking sommelier.

299
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,550
Oh, Elizabeth, don't worry.

300
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,150
Buddha says,

301
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:51,430
"One will not be punished
for being a loser."

302
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,840
I never said I was a loser.

303
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,590
Chinese girls shouldn't drink.

304
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,030
This is England.

305
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,710
This is what people do here.

306
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,520
Especially the girls.

307
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,240
Plus, I've been fired.

308
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,640
Shots!

309
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,710
- Yeah!
- Woo!

310
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,200
Shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots, shots, shots!

311
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,720
Shots, shots, shots,
shots, shots, shots, shots!

312
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,350
Hey, mei-meis!

313
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,350
You want to play shag, marry, kill?

314
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,000
I'll start.

315
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,640
Shag.

316
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,550
Mm... shag.

317
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:54,590
Shag.

318
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:55,670
Kill.

319
00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,150
OK, babes.

320
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:58,560
I invited him.

321
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,390
Maybe I should just sleep
with him to get my job back.

322
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,080
No, stop being a prostitute.

323
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,230
I don't know.

324
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,110
You sympathy fucker. There's
no way I can touch that thing.

325
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,590
I don't do Chinese.

326
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,040
What do you mean, do?

327
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,430
"Do" means "Have sex with".

328
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,590
She does not sleep with Chinese people.

329
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,110
She's racist!

330
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,150
Can't control how my body feels.

331
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,230
It's just, when any of them
come close, it's like drylands.

332
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,230
Drylands, what's drylands?

333
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,360
Dry up.

334
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,830
Downstairs.

335
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,350
Little Jackie dries up.

336
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,230
Oh, little Jackie, you have a daughter?

337
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,480
I got to pee.

338
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,030
Jesus!

339
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,560
Hey! Elizabeth.

340
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,910
Maybe you shouldn't drink any more,

341
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:53,150
otherwise you might find
me crazy good-looking, eh?

342
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,400
Eh?

343
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,910
Now, then, you are fired.

344
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,190
Maybe you should go into wine.

345
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,590
You're so good at it.

346
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,590
- Fuck it.
- Oh!

347
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,080
Mm! Mm!

348
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,310
Oh, are we doing that?

349
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,710
Fuck, yeah.

350
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,270
Cos, you know, I know you're passionate...

351
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,390
Shut up.

352
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:20,880
OK, OK.

353
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,960
Stop, stop, stop!

354
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,670
You came already?

355
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:32,390
Yeah.

356
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:33,990
Call me.

357
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,950
Does that mean I can have my job back?

358
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:40,950
I'm always going to be in "Me
love you long time" films.

359
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,670
Is that because you're a very bad actress?

360
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:47,870
Me love you long time.
You're boobilicious.

361
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,390
Cheer up, boobies!

362
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,480
Could I get a grab, too, Lucy Liu?

363
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:55,840
Not today.

364
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,040
British culture!

365
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,470
- Whoa!
- Calm down, sweetheart!

366
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,150
Don't go chicken oriental!

367
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,470
Do you know how many castings I've
been to in the last six months?

368
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,990
"Too Chinese!"

369
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,710
"Not Chinese enough!"

370
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,790
OK, ladies, time to go.

371
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,280
Let her go!

372
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,440
Don't come back.

373
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,790
# I can be the answer

374
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,550
# I'm ready to dance when the vamp up... #

375
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:43,830
Liz?

376
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,390
Oh.

377
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,110
# And that I am that
young sis the beacon... #

378
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,830
Fuck my life.

379
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,670
# I can freak a fit that
pump with the peep and

380
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,220
# You know what your bitch
become when her weave in. #

381
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,510
I had such a great night!

382
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,510
I'm in love with London.

383
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,910
Everyone's so friendly.

384
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,160
Especially the polices!

385
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,200
I got my shit job back.

386
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,070
You're not going to tell my mum, right?

387
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,590
Buddha says,

388
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,000
"Nobody like a grass."

389
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:20,920
Jackie, Elizabeth?

390
00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,080
Hi!

391
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,870
Where's the fluffy?

392
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,990
Oh, well, she's at home...

393
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,430
Elizabeth.

394
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,830
I'm not Elizabeth.

395
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,870
I... I don't care.

396
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,190
Look...

397
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,590
tenant.

398
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,110
I...

399
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,790
do really need the rent today,

400
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,160
or I am going to have to ask you to leave.

401
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,960
Is that enough?

402
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,470
Well, I mean, I'm sure it is.

403
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,670
That's what I love about you orientals.

404
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,920
Cash only.

405
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,320
Sayonara.

406
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,470
You know we'll pay you back, right?

407
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,790
It's OK.

408
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,360
I'm very rich.

409
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,350
OK.

410
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,000
Anyway, let's do this. I've
got a class thing in an hour.

411
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,510
Handjob for five,

412
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:22,510
blowjob for ten, happy ending guaranteed!

413
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,110
People say the Chinese

414
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,630
are taking over the world.

415
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,110
Maybe not these three,

416
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,910
but we're in London to stay.

417
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,590
So get out of the way, bitches!

418
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,430
# Dancing all through London town

419
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,230
# Wearing only dressing gown

420
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,230
# Turn this city upside down

421
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,230
# Girls, girls, girls

422
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,190
# Dancing all through London town

423
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,950
# Don't care if you point and frown

424
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,830
# We're taking over the world

425
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:52,790
# ~ #

426
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,510
# Ni hao, can you hear me now?

427
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,280
# We came from the Far East. #