Tumbling through an interdimensional vortex,
Warren and Lucy
discover twisted versions of their own world,
always hoping the next one will be home.
Oh! Oh, I hate when it does that.
Where is this?
I don't know, but at least there's no fridges
trying to kill us.
Warren and Lucy, you are out of bounds.
You will return immediately or face elimination.
E hika! Run!
CREDITS
Elimination. Elimination.
Now drones are trying to kill us!
- Elmination. - In here!
Elimination. Elimination.
Elimination.
In a shock reveal,
Warren and Lucy have re-entered The Game.
Mum!
Hinemoa!
What happened to your tracksuits?
_
Hey, I'm getting the feeling that we're in some kind of game.
Dad, I hope I inherit your power of perception.
Guys, this is no game.
This is reality.
_
Contestants from number 23, Haerewa Street,
welcome to the first challenge.
Uh, we might be in some real trouble. eh,
but at least there are no evil fridges,
so I think we'll just play along
until we can work out what's going on.
Dad.
Have you ever seen Squid Game?
Is that the fishing one with Clark Gayford in it?
_
In your teams,
you must choose one person to be blindfolded.
The other will direct their partner
down a path using only the power of their voices.
First team to raise their flag at the end wins.
Oh, and try not to step on...
_
Um... Excuse me.
Can you repeat the first bit, please? I was miles away.
What?
So, um, we were given these tracksuits
to wear and socks and shoes, and then,
um, we were driven to the place where the maze was set up.
That's the game.
OK, go, go!
There was a sound and we started the game.
_
I am going maui.
Wait. Maui's left, is it?
You haven't even moved.
You know I get confused with left and right. Jeez.
Ah! Hika ma! That's electrified.
Well, that's why I said left.
Warren and Hine are off to a shocking start,
as Warren struggles to understand
the complicated notion of left and right.
Meh, meh, meh. Shut up!
Left, left, left!
Left!
Like, "I left you."
Hey!
Yeah, OK. Now turn 37 degrees north east,
then take five half yard strides.
What? Just use normal instructions.
Not my fault you didn't take nautical training.
Hey, no-one has taken nautical training.
Yes, Bo. That's perfect.
Now walk forward for two medium steps.
Got it.
Bo's heart rate seems to rise every time Lucy speaks.
Ignore that!
Bo's cheeks are flushed red.
Are those the signs of young love?
Oh, shut up! you massive eyehole!
Heh... "Eyehole."
Focus!
Five steps.
_
- Stop! - What?
You're about to step on a polygon.
Polly who?
I don't know anything about reality TV, to be honest.
Uh, I accidentally watched Naked Attraction once.
People weren't very attractive, but they were very naked.
I'm tired of being told what to do by you.
For the last 20 years, you keep telling me what to do.
Yeah, and you were blind for those 20 years as well,
- so nothing's changed. - Oh, ha-ha.
I see what you did there. You know what?
For 20 years, you tell me.
Oh, you can't cut your toenails in the kitchen.
For 20 years, you tell me,
"Oh, leave the toilet lid down!"
For 20 years, you tell me we can't do it in the frozen produce section
- at the supermarket because it's... - Unhygienic!
Let me finish. Because it's unhygienic!
Well, you know what? I can do whatever I want to do.
OK? I don't have to stand right here cos I'm gonna stand right here.
He's gone!
Murray is our first contestant to be eliminated.
When Murray and I broke up,
I decided he was dead to me.
And now he actually is dead.
Sorry. Does anybody have, like, 1 to 3 bottles of wine handy?
I smell a conspiracy.
Yeah, because if you think...
My body's disappeared.
You've taken my body?!
As if zapping us with lasers wasn't enough,
and now you're taking...
It's the green tracksuit on the green screen.
_
Not Mrs Schrodinger!
Oh, now the cat's using her ashes as a litter tray. Bad cat!
Some sneaky players have emerged.
It seems an alliance is forming between Hine, Warren and Lucy.
It's not an alliance. We're whanau!
Yeah, yeah, you tell them, Alternate Hinemoa.
Thanks, Alternate Babe.
Contestants who are still alive,
make your way to Tribal Council.
Here's some shots you've already seen
but have probably already forgotten.
..right here!
And then it was the ad break.
Contestants. You must vote for someone to be eliminated.
Um, can I vote for people who say #NotAllMen?
Let the voting begin.
_
The votes have been counted.
The first person voted out of the game at number 23,
Haerewa Street,
and the second person to be eliminated is...
..Laurel!
Oh... Oh, my God.
I've got a few things to say.
First of all, RIP. Murray.
He may have been a wet fart of a husband, but he was a good man.
Second of all, Bo, you will always be my baby boy.
And I would like to say that I'm extremely proud
of how I conducted myself in this game.
I stayed true to myself.
I was honest, I was respectful to my fellow contestants.
So you can all suck my big fat...
Argh!
Mum!
The Game has spoken.
It's room makeover time.
Contestants must make over their rooms,
but they'll only have 60 seconds.
_
We have to make over the entire room in 60 seconds?!
It takes me longer just to put my jeans on.
I could help.
Ew, shut up, Alternate Bo.
I have been to every design class
for real estate beginners my work had to offer.
I know how to mix patterns and create a feature wall.
How can a wall be a feature? Yeah?
It is a structural necessity invented by
the Bavarian Illuminati in the 18th century.
What do you think of these bad boys?
So this challenge seems
way less dangerous than the last one.
Just don't jinx it.
And there's just one more thing.
While you're carrying out the challenge,
the rooms will be slowly filling up with poisonous gas.
There it is.
Good luck, teams. Your time starts...
..now.
What are you doing?
It's the best way to get the ideal hang.
Now just find out where the studs are.
We have 60 seconds. Just put it on the wall!
Well, it's gonna be all over the place.
I'm just saying, babe.
Where did I put that hammer? Oh, yeah.
Come on! The chair!
One of these. I've got it. I'm coming, babe.
Babe, is there a pencil over there?
Alright, it's just a light cushion chop,
in the middle with the side of your hand.
Hi-ya.
Here we go. Give it a go,
Darren! It's a pillow!
Be a masseuse, not a chiropractor. God!
Go paint that wall apricot, right now.
Don't forget the paint.
I'm so angry, Darren, honestly.
Come on.
- Does it look homey? - I don't know.
I don't think I can hold on. I think this could be it, Warren.
Honey, shut your mouth.
Excuse me?
I mean, cover your mouth and hold your breath.
Lucy, cover your mouth with something and hold your breath.
Yeah, it's all about how you control
the roller to give a smooth and structured finish.
Of course, you don't want to leave a wet edge, and...
No-one cares that you painted a wall, mansplainer.
I'm the one that made this room come alive.
Warren and Hine went the shabby chic route,
but only got as far as the shabby.
Lucy and Bo have gone for the car crash aesthetic.
Unfortunately, they've nailed it,
and they're our worst performing team.
They're our frontrunners for elimination.
Ian and Darren have pulled off a stunner.
Beautiful use of colour really ties in this contemporary look.
These are clearly our frontrunners, but hang on.
Oh, no.
It looks like they've been overcome by the toxic gas.
Their room took our breath away.
Looks like theirs as well.
Lucy and Bo are safe.
Dad, we need to be on the same team.
If I stay with puppy boy over there, I'll be ash in minutes.
I say we ditch our partners and form our own team.
- What about your mum? - She's not my mum.
And she's not your wife.
Yeah, but she looks really good in that tracksuit, though, like...
Dad!
Focus!
I'll go tell Bo. You go tell Mum.
Fake Mum.
Oh, no. Bo has left the gaming area and will be eliminated.
No, I was just... I was just chasing a butterfly.
No, no! Argh!
Bo!
At least you don't have to tell him you're dumping him.
Contestants, there are now no more teams.
We've moved on
to individual challengers to find one single winner.
I don't have to break up with Hinemoa anymore.
Dad... One single winner.
You two, haere mai.
It's time for the Feed Your Fear challenge.
- Yum. - Oh, no.
We're gonna have to eat gross animal parts, aren't we?
Oh... Oh, well, we can cope with that, Luce.
We can cope with any vile, disgusting thing
that they put in front of us.
In a shock twist, we're bringing in a wildcard entry to the game.
The winner of the game
- at number 21, Haerewa Street, - _
Officer Phil Doyle.
G'day, g'day.
Bon apperteetees, eh?
Bon apperteetees.
Ooh, something smells good, and it ain't my aftershave.
Contestants, prepare to face your culinary fears.
Remove your lids.
Hinemoa must eat three-week-old raw fish, from tail to head.
Oh, no.
Lucy must eat sheep droppings.
Well, what are the odds?
Warren has to eat pig sphincters.
What a bummer, mate.
That doesn't look so bad.
Wait. What's a spectre again?
Bumhole.
You monsters!
While our wild card Phil has to eat...
a delicious jam scone.
Oh, no.
Oh, come on, I gotta eat a bumhole!
Bottoms up, Harrison!
Oh, wait, there's no cream here.
Ooh, thank you very much.
You have 60 seconds to eat everything on your plates.
Are you ready, contestants?
Ready.
These are way chewier than I expected.
And no flavour. Wait.
My Stanky Steve's hot sauce.
Dad, I can't do this.
- Want some hot sauce? - No!
- Babe, what are you doing? - I'm not eating mine.
Lucy, if you eat one of those,
then I'll be eliminated and not you.
But, Mum...
Lucy Koha Harrison, you do
as you're told and you eat that poo!
I can't, it's poo!
Eat the poo, bubba.
I'll be OK.
Time's up.
It looks like Hine hasn't even touched her fish,
so she'll be eliminated.
What's wrong with him?
I don't know.
But wait.
It seems Phil has an undisclosed jam allergy.
Oh, no!
Poor guy's dying.
Yep.
At least I got to watch you eat bumholes, Harrison.
Yep.
And it was glori...
And gone.
Sadly, Hine will still need to be eliminated.
- What? - That's not fair!
_
I hate it when your wife, who's not really your wife,
gets blasted off the face of the earth.
Really dampens the mood.
Just two players remain.
One will win.
One will be eliminated.
OK, listen.
Your mum, who's not your mum,
sacrificed herself for you. So now it's my turn.
OK? No, no. You have to win. And you have to make it home.
So I'm gonna make damn sure that I fail.
No matter what the next challenge is,
I'm going to be the worst in the world at it, OK?
I'm gonna fail like no-one's ever failed before.
Welcome to the final Backyard Barbecue Challenge.
Oh, no!
Contestants, you're required to cook the perfect medium-rare steak.
Of course.
Who will judge the perfect barbecue steak?
Who?
Stanky Steve,
creator of Stanky Steve's world famous hot sauce.
Stanky Steve's hot sauce. It's stank-tastic.
May cause explosive diarrhoea.
Y'all know if it don't stank,
it ain't in the bank.
_
Who is that?
He's only the greatest barbecuer who ever lived,
next to Liam Neeson's personal chef.
Please welcome your second judge,
Liam Neeson's personal chef,
Mike O'Shaughnessy.
I feel like I'm being ripped apart by joy and sadness.
Grillers, ready?
Ready.
- Yep. - And grill!
Doesn't even matter. Doesn't matter.
Have you got a good sear on one side?
- I think so. - Good.
Uh, another two minutes and then take it off.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna burn my steak.
But you have to watch that like a hawk.
And in approximately 35 seconds, you're gonna take it off the grill.
- Do you understand? - I understand.
It's been a pleasure grilling with you, Lucy Harrison.
Thank you, darling.
Warren's steak is more eye-watering than mouth-watering.
It sucks!
Lucy must bring her plate up to the judges.
Stank-tastic.
Oh, my God, you actually liked it.
You know, I'm quite taken with this.
Well done.
And finally,
Warren must bring his plate forward for judgement.
I have tasted road kill
after a forest fire
that tasted better than this!
I'm not eating that. No way.
And so salty!
This is quite literally the saddest day of my entire life.
Thank you.
The winner of the barbecue challenge is...
..Lucy.
Hey.
Thank you for burning your steak for me, Dad.
I know it was really hard for you.
It's one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my entire life.
But I'd do it all again for you, sweetheart.
I'd do doing anything.
Warren, it's elimination time.
Whoa! How did that happen?
This, us supporting each other
must be the key to opening the vortex.
Alright. Let's bloody Jonah Lomu it.
- Who? - Just run it straight!
He's been taken.
CREDITS