1
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,230
Ah, you're awake already.

2
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,830
I smuggled an alarm clock in.

3
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,030
We come as a pair now.

4
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,630
Poor Agnes is saddled with me.

5
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:31,640
I enjoy it.

6
00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:34,630
Your deer's been back.

7
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,350
Oh, is that right?

8
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,910
You see the horse chestnut tree?

9
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,840
There are leaves missing
at the bottom of it.

10
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,110
Then let's sit here all day,

11
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:48,230
wait until it comes back to us.

12
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,520
Wouldn't that be nice?

13
00:00:54,700 --> 00:00:56,900
_

14
00:00:56,910 --> 00:00:59,210
_

15
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,700
_

16
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,900
_

17
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,480
_

18
00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:12,520
_

19
00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:15,450
_

20
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,200
_

21
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,800
_

22
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,360
_

23
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:32,660
_

24
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:39,260
_

25
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:09,000
*CREDITS*

26
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,590
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.

27
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:40,790
It's been 48 hours
since my last confession.

28
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:42,230
And how can I help?

29
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,630
Well, I have committed

30
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,630
four acts of blasphemy and five...

31
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,840
No, six of self-abasement.

32
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,190
Seven, maybe, actually.

33
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,830
You've...

34
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,390
You've had a busy time.

35
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,230
She just talks at me,

36
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,550
day after day.

37
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,870
Oh, "Brian's left his toenails
all over the floor again.

38
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,870
"Brian's making a mess
in the bathroom."

39
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,710
I'd love for my Alan
to be making any of those messes.

40
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,359
But she doesn't even...

41
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,440
I find myself getting
so frustrated with her.

42
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,470
I don't see how you can take
any wrong from finding

43
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,800
your sister difficult.

44
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,190
It's just when I kill her
that I'll be in trouble?

45
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,590
Yeah.

46
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,440
That, I believe, is frowned upon.

47
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:31,950
She's stronger, every day.

48
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,270
And she's using this new energy

49
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,750
to buzz around me.

50
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,150
That's good.

51
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,830
I uh, asked her along
to these classes they do

52
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,670
at the GP as a sort of partner,

53
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,479
and she is taking it way
too seriously.

54
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,640
She keeps getting me
to practise this breathing stuff.

55
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,830
And, you?

56
00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:58,120
Are you OK?

57
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,800
The confessional's definitely not
supposed to be about my feelings.

58
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,800
Dad said that you'd visited him.

59
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,470
He didn't say it in a nice way

60
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,470
and I don't think what you said

61
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:20,560
made any difference,
but that was kind of you.

62
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,680
It was a complicated discussion.

63
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,840
What did he say to you?

64
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,110
He set me a challenge,

65
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,280
which I didn't meet.

66
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,510
Can't say any more than that.

67
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,230
I'm sorry.

68
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,320
Do you think he's going to be OK?

69
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,160
Do you want him to be?

70
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,520
Yes.

71
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:55,920
I hope he will be.

72
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,120
Francesca said I was allowed
to make it mine.

73
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,630
We had the opportunity to replant
as we harvested, so...

74
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,510
So you made some changes
in what you planted

75
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,040
and where you planted it.

76
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,710
Quite bold, wouldn't you say?

77
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,190
No, I...

78
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,640
I wasn't even half out the door.

79
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:30,790
Oh, don't! Don't.

80
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,630
Even as a joke. It's...

81
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,200
Come on. Show me the worst of it.

82
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:40,670
I'm planning on scallions
in half the cabbage patch.

83
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,910
The other half will still
have cabbages in.

84
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,310
Well, I like scallions,
and to be honest,

85
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,510
no-one likes cabbages as much as me.

86
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,510
So that's a good idea.

87
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:53,590
And maybe more raspberries than
strawberries in your polytunnel.

88
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,190
Scandalous!

89
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,390
I made a raspberry and rhubarb jam
that people seemed to like.

90
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,750
Yes. I tried it - at breakfast.

91
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,080
It was delicious.

92
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,350
Was it me?

93
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,030
That made you go.

94
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,390
Sorry?

95
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:12,990
Was it how I behaved?

96
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,430
Were you disappointed?
Or was it how the Abbess treated me?

97
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,990
- Were you disappointed in her?
- No.

98
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,630
No, it wasn't you.

99
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,150
Never you.

100
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,670
It wasn't her, either.

101
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,040
Although she did annoy me.

102
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,230
Things are much better for me now -
with her.

103
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,030
The Abbess is...

104
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,430
She likes you now?

105
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,030
Wouldn't go that far.

106
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:43,110
It was a man who'd made me go.

107
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,190
The handsome priest?

108
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:46,830
Did everyone know?

109
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,270
I saw you talking once.

110
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,070
He was as into you as you, him.

111
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,600
You're wrong there.

112
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,640
I was ridiculous.

113
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,630
I don't think so.
I was always good at spotting it.

114
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,350
Was my skill at school,
for some reason.

115
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,310
Maybe cos I wasn't into boys,

116
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,590
I could read them.

117
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,510
I'd tell the girls
who'd fancied who.

118
00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,230
It was always very useful knowledge.

119
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,390
Must've been hugely popular.

120
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,510
I was the mad Christian dyke witch.

121
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,039
- What a combination!
- Yeah!

122
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,320
I was worried everyone
was laughing at me.

123
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,359
The lusty nun.

124
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:30,960
What a thing to be.

125
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,800
You don't know how much
you're loved, do you?

126
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,670
No-one's laughing.

127
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,950
No-one has laughed.

128
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,630
They're just... They're...

129
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,400
They're delighted
to have you back with us.

130
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,240
You're our Anna.

131
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:52,840
You belong to us.

132
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,360
Can we talk?

133
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,200
Oh, er, yeah. I hoped we would.

134
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,890
Awkward to air dirty pants

135
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,590
in front of other people.

136
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:29,870
I hope I'm not wearing dirty pants.

137
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,790
I... I've got that phrase wrong.

138
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,870
- Dirty laundry.
- Yes.

139
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,120
Mind you, it's the, erm,
same thing, I suppose. Yeah.

140
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,560
You do know that
she's returned home, Anna?

141
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,360
I... Y-Yeah.

142
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,320
Well, yes. So... So that just
leaves you now, doesn't it?

143
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,760
I don't know what to do with you.

144
00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:59,390
What are your options?

145
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:03,430
Well, there are those
who truly believe in you.

146
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,030
You tried to get rid of me
and got blocked?

147
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,790
And there are others who think
that you're damaged

148
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,670
and that you might cause damage.

149
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:13,120
And I wasn't blocked. I consulted.

150
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,350
You do know,
there's some priests, they...

151
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,230
They come back stronger
for having been broken,

152
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,390
and that is why I was prepared
to bring you here.

153
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,950
But the question is,
what led to the break?

154
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,680
People they...
They use words like lust and love.

155
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,560
But it is never that.

156
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,950
Vows are not discarded
for such things.

157
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,470
Vows are discarded

158
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:47,520
because of something
here being unresolved up here.

159
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,280
Is this your normal tactic,
in your counselling?

160
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,559
Because there's a surprising amount
of anger in your words.

161
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,990
You know...

162
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,870
you are unusual.

163
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,670
Amongst the young priests,
I'm increasingly finding,

164
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:08,310
that it's all about the liturgy.

165
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,990
The social worker priest is rare.

166
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,070
I mean, there were...

167
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,510
What do you think
a priest should do?

168
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,110
Bring people to God,

169
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,200
so that all may bathe in His light.

170
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,320
Not play God...

171
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,950
without a thought
to the consequences.

172
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,590
Does this...
Does that make me a conservative?

173
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:37,390
Or, or does that make me careful
with the needs of others?

174
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,670
When we overstep, we risk.

175
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,110
Them. It's inappropriate.

176
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,390
It's wrong.

177
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,390
What if help is what they need?

178
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,760
Well, do we let them ask for help?

179
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,160
Or do we tell them
that they need it?

180
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,320
David, you're so reckless.

181
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,000
We should go in.

182
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,430
In the name of the Father
and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

183
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,990
Amen.

184
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,190
Thank you all for coming.

185
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,550
You know, I do so like
these meetings.

186
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:29,470
It is a chance for us
to affirm our success

187
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,470
and express doubts about
our failures.

188
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,670
Now, I hope you've all been sent
the agenda.

189
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,950
Let's start with the building fund.

190
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,590
We've had a good quarter,

191
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,919
so donations are high,
which has allowed us...

192
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,880
I don't even know what she said.

193
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,400
I just found myself...

194
00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:58,630
And so I... jumped.

195
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,390
Out of the window.

196
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,630
I jumped out of the window.

197
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,790
It's wrong.

198
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,710
I can smell
the booze on you now.

199
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,440
Do we let them ask for help?

200
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,750
It's inappropriate.

201
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,590
Are you helping here?!

202
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,910
Play God, without
a thought to the consequences.

203
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,190
You are weak.

204
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,840
Bring people to God.

205
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,680
You might cause damage.

206
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,799
David, you're so reckless.

207
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,800
Black coffee. Six sugars.

208
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,520
OK.

209
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,800
It works. Trust me.

210
00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,240
OK.

211
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,080
You gave us all a fright.

212
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:06,920
Just a stomach bug.

213
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,560
Want to talk about it?

214
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,870
Do you want me to call your sponsor?

215
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,080
Don't have a sponsor.

216
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,430
I just come to the meetings.

217
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,470
Not to judge,

218
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,230
but those I know who don't have
a sponsor are usually trying

219
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,270
to avoid something.

220
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,640
They're usually being
a bit dishonest with themselves.

221
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,150
You know, this is so kind,

222
00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,790
but do you mind if I go?

223
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,200
I'd rather you didn't.

224
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:38,600
All the same...

225
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:09,990
What's happening?

226
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,430
It's Polly.

227
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:12,920
She's struggling to breathe.

228
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,590
Mum?

229
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,670
Oh. Hello!

230
00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,030
What are you doing here?

231
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,910
Well, I didn't want to go up there.

232
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,830
I assumed you already had enough
attention on you.

233
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,630
What, so you thought you'd just
hang around on the off chance?

234
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,750
Well, it's a regular haunt,
is it not?

235
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,070
Er, well, I...

236
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,190
I've got some deliveries to do.

237
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,400
You could help me?

238
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,590
You've started smoking again?

239
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,240
Don't tell your dad.

240
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,030
I couldn't stop thinking
about what I said to you.

241
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,310
Whi... Which bit?

242
00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,990
The... The cruelty stuff,
or the other stuff?

243
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,960
Or was there any other stuff?

244
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,150
I met a boy when I was 15.

245
00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,390
Poorly dressed.

246
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,030
Terrible moustache.

247
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,790
He used to walk me home from school.

248
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,070
I was at this terrible
girl's school.

249
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,750
You told me about the girl's school.

250
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,510
Not about this boy.

251
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,230
He didn't talk much.

252
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,270
He'd just mooch along beside me.

253
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:58,070
I'd always be embarrassed
whenever he got near my house

254
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,230
because my mother would
watch out of the window.

255
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,630
She liked to interfere, my mother.

256
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,710
Sounds familiar.

257
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:06,960
Yes.

258
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,240
But my point is,
I knew he wasn't very impressive.

259
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,350
He had good eyes,

260
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,390
but his shoulders were
always hunched,

261
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,270
he didn't know what to do
with his hair,

262
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:20,080
and he had an acne problem.

263
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,190
But his being,

264
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,640
his insides were quite special.

265
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:32,390
As was the fact that
he was absolutely certain

266
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,870
of what he felt about me.

267
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:38,430
Didn't care
if people laughed at him.

268
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,270
Just was as he was.

269
00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,070
Anyway, one day,
my dad exploded at him.

270
00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:46,470
Nothing violent,

271
00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,230
but the things he said,
he tore him apart.

272
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,550
How he looked, how he spoke,

273
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,350
what he was going to be.

274
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,510
I can still remember
most of the words.

275
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,750
It was the worst thing
that ever happened to me.

276
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,430
It was certainly the worst thing
that ever happened to him.

277
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,830
Was he OK?

278
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,510
What happened to him?

279
00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,630
Well, I married him, of course.

280
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,270
Spent my life with him.

281
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,030
Wha... It was Dad?!

282
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,550
Well, I didn't mean it
to be a surprise.

283
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,870
I know I've not always been
the happiest mother.

284
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,040
Wife.

285
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,270
I have had...

286
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:27,710
Have an unhappiness of my own
that I brought with me

287
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,910
into the relationship
that being with you,

288
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:31,680
with Chris, hasn't resolved.

289
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:34,960
But he has...

290
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,910
When I imagine my life without him,

291
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:45,190
I see only turgid blood.

292
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,350
But why haven't either of you ever
mentioned this to me before?

293
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,040
That Dad -
Dad would follow you home. Ha!

294
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,550
I was lucky I met him when I was 15.

295
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,800
I think I was on the verge
of many mistakes.

296
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,670
My home wasn't...

297
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,070
I think I'd have been unhappy.

298
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,790
Unhappier.

299
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,350
I don't know how he feels
about that, of course.

300
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,200
Rougher end of the bargain.

301
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,670
Well, I wasn't supposed
to make you cry!

302
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,110
Fucking hell,
whatever I say makes you cry.

303
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:25,190
So now you're telling me
that I should believe in love?

304
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,550
I'm telling you,
you're your father's daughter.

305
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,870
That when you know, you know.

306
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,150
When you love, you love.

307
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,200
I'm saying sorry.

308
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:40,750
When you joined up,
became Sister Anna,

309
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,710
you ripped my heart out.

310
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,350
And then suddenly,
you're on the other side,

311
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,590
and it's supposed to be OK.

312
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,200
I was confused.

313
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,310
But I do believe

314
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:57,310
if love is what you need, then...

315
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,120
I... I stopped him.

316
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,750
Mum, I stopped him from kissing me.

317
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,840
Oh. Why?

318
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:10,750
Because he wasn't ready.

319
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,350
Because he's a priest.

320
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,190
Because I was bloody stupid.

321
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,550
So let me understand -

322
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,710
you were ready to burn your life
and he wasn't?

323
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,110
And then he was,
and you turned him away?

324
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,550
Yes, exactly.

325
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,070
But he kissed you?

326
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:28,510
It was a mistake.

327
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,910
So you ran away back here.

328
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,510
Interesting.

329
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,719
First time I've known you a coward.

330
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,350
I came here to be nice.

331
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,190
I can't do nice.

332
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:46,400
I'm sorry.

333
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,960
I do love you!

334
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,240
What have you done
this time, David?

335
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,240
This is serious
and worrying behaviour.

336
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:07,560
This could be a police matter.

337
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:13,990
David hit a boy in the throat
with a dinner tray.

338
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,390
I wasn't trying to!

339
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:16,910
Dave, he asked you to be quiet.

340
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:18,350
I was trying to get away from him.

341
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,750
Are you helping here?!

342
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,960
David is a dangerously disruptive
presence here.

343
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:30,200
Forgive me,
Father, for I have sinned.

344
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,600
Are those the right words?

345
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,390
They always told me
I didn't have to come here, but I...

346
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,520
You're just
interested how it works.

347
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:49,190
Or have you something you want
to talk to me about?

348
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,110
I'm not sure.

349
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:56,310
The way this works is you tell me
what's troubling you,

350
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:02,350
I listen, and then I give you
a prayer or something

351
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,600
to perform, so...

352
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,750
whatever mistakes you've made,

353
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,680
and we all make mistakes...

354
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,040
God can set you on
a journey of...

355
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:18,710
correction.

356
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:19,720
I hate them.

357
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:23,070
"Who do you hate?"

358
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:24,630
Everyone.

359
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,440
I don't like anyone.
I hate them all.

360
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:30,800
"Who?

361
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,680
- "Your parents?"
- They're not my parents.

362
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,630
They're good people.

363
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:39,760
I just hate them.

364
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,919
Is hate a sin?

365
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,630
Most hate is temporary,
it's passion,

366
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,110
and so it can be challenged.

367
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,280
It can be changed.

368
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,320
I don't understand.

369
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,950
Everyone talks about God's love.

370
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,710
God loves you.

371
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,280
God loves everyone.

372
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,910
But you know the best thing
about God's love?

373
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,360
He wants to love you.

374
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,080
He wants you to love yourself.

375
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,560
And to love him back.

376
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,680
And maybe, if you can do that...

377
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:23,560
maybe you can find
infinite love for others.

378
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,320
Now, wouldn't that be beautiful?

379
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,910
I'm afraid to tell you
that Sister Polly Everand

380
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,600
died three hours ago.

381
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,200
I am so sorry for all our loss.

382
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,230
Polly was here longer
than any of us.

383
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,310
She found great comfort here.

384
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:57,840
God, here.

385
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,590
The last thing she asked me,
and sh-she was very weak,

386
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,190
unable to say much,

387
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,520
was that she be buried
in the convent.

388
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,190
We've never had that before.

389
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,470
But having looked into the matter,

390
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,830
she had no other surviving family,
so if not here,

391
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,760
I'm not quite sure
where else to put her.

392
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:23,960
I also think...

393
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,280
I would like a trace of her
left with us.

394
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,640
I would like her to remain
a part of how we live.

395
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,270
I've spent my life here
looking up to her.

396
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:40,470
For that and many reasons,

397
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,680
a prayer for her.

398
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,040
Dear Lord,
we thank you for our sister, Polly.

399
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,390
We thank you for
her goodness and her grace,

400
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:58,990
her certainty and her spirit.

401
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,190
We hope she will find a way
to serve you in the next life

402
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,800
as well as she has in this one.

403
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:10,200
We loved her. Amen.

404
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,500
_

405
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:36,400
_

406
00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:38,810
_

407
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:41,320
_

408
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,100
_

409
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,200
_

410
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:49,100
_

411
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:55,820
_

412
00:24:55,830 --> 00:24:57,530
_

413
00:24:58,140 --> 00:25:03,040
_

414
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:13,060
_

415
00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:16,170
_

416
00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:19,840
_

417
00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:23,550
_

418
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,360
_

419
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,780
_

420
00:25:28,790 --> 00:25:30,790
_

421
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,320
_

422
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:39,480
_

423
00:25:39,690 --> 00:25:42,690
_

424
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,430
_

425
00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:50,030
_

426
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:54,040
_

427
00:25:56,620 --> 00:26:00,220
_

428
00:26:00,230 --> 00:26:04,530
_

429
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,740
_

430
00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:14,450
_

431
00:26:15,660 --> 00:26:16,660
_

432
00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:23,040
_

433
00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:29,350
_

434
00:26:29,460 --> 00:26:34,360
_

435
00:26:36,260 --> 00:26:38,260
_

436
00:26:40,660 --> 00:26:42,660
_

437
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,000
_

438
00:26:48,710 --> 00:26:52,610
_

439
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,420
_

440
00:26:56,500 --> 00:27:00,200
_

441
00:27:00,410 --> 00:27:03,410
_

442
00:27:05,350 --> 00:27:07,150
_

443
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,160
_

444
00:27:12,450 --> 00:27:14,650
_

445
00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:19,360
_

446
00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:25,250
_

447
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,500
_

448
00:27:32,940 --> 00:27:35,040
_

449
00:27:37,740 --> 00:27:41,740
_

450
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,710
"They who dwell
at the ends of the Earth

451
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,510
"stand in awe of Your signs.

452
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,920
"You make the dawn
and the sunset shout for joy."

453
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:17,470
Psalms, chapter 65, verse 8?

454
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:18,800
Very good.

455
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,630
It wasn't a man for me.

456
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,950
Or a woman, I should say.

457
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:31,360
Modernity, etc.

458
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:35,320
The absence of that
was never a problem for me.

459
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,270
But there were six months
after I turned 50

460
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,910
when I couldn't understand

461
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,120
the lack of devotion of
those coming in.

462
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,590
Six months...

463
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,040
It was probably three years.

464
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,150
You'd been with us 15 years
or so by then

465
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,510
and I looked at you and I thought,

466
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,200
"Maybe the time has come for me
to take this all off."

467
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,550
To let you take over.

468
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,150
"Maybe I'd like to escape away."

469
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,430
My family have
a small farm in Donegal

470
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,520
and my brother would make me
very welcome.

471
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:14,790
My point is,

472
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,870
it's such a strange gift
we're given,

473
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:22,270
the certainty of a marriage
without all that comes with that.

474
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,950
Polly found it effortlessly.

475
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,430
I don't think she ever doubted
her journey.

476
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,240
But most...

477
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,160
most of us have moments
of struggle.

478
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,320
Is this you telling me
that you forgive me for leaving?

479
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,560
I still think about Donegal.

480
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,990
As Abbess, you are both
my children and my sisters

481
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,240
and I, sometimes...

482
00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,590
when I'm in pain, as I am today,

483
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,550
I sometimes wish
I could just escape,

484
00:29:58,560 --> 00:29:59,760
but I don't.

485
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,360
I stay and I try.

486
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,590
Out there is no escape.

487
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,800
I know.

488
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,110
But you do understand, Anna,

489
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,590
outside is hard,

490
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,120
but this isn't a sanctuary
from that.

491
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,030
Both are work.

492
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:21,840
Both have to be work.

493
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,040
Hello?

494
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,520
- Hello. I'm... I'm Father...
- I know who you are.

495
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,640
I didn't want to go
into the, erm, convent.

496
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,350
You didn't want to face the Abbess.

497
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,000
You hoped to find Sister Anna
round the back instead.

498
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:22,070
It's not quite that.

499
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,630
She's just finding her peace again,

500
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,240
and you want to disturb it?

501
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,830
I just want to see her, talk to her.

502
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,960
For her own good or for yours?

503
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,790
We love her here.

504
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,520
She loves being here.

505
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:42,120
Don't disrupt her again.

506
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,400
She's not as strong as you think.

507
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:47,880
Go home.

508
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:51,000
Please.

509
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,310
Er, can I have a wall plug, please?

510
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,310
- A what?
- Wall plug.

511
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,750
It's a white plastic thing.

512
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,080
Looks like the head of an arrow.

513
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,350
Yep.

514
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,030
Doesn't look like an arrow.

515
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:10,839
Uh, and yet you still knew
what it meant.

516
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:15,280
Is it ready?

517
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,280
No.

518
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,470
When will I know
you haven't broken everything?

519
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:22,750
Haven't you got homework?

520
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,079
You need my help here.

521
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:31,200
- It's finished.
- Thank you.

522
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,590
Oh, it's tuna pasta.

523
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,320
You're welcome to stay for dinner.

524
00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:45,600
I'd better get back.

525
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,270
Good decision.

526
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:50,400
It'll probably be horrible.

527
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,430
I'm trying to sneak fish
into everything

528
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:54,870
and ruining everything.

529
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:58,190
Most days, she gives up
and just eats crisps.

530
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,590
Well, that's a
"well done for trying" smile.

531
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,670
Just to let you know,
I hate that smile.

532
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,720
Sorry. I know the smile, too.

533
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,080
When he saw you...

534
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,640
are you allowed to say
what he asked for?

535
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,800
I don't think
it's a good idea to... share.

536
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,760
I still think about him.

537
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:31,440
Not always in a bad way.

538
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,190
Does that make me shit?

539
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,320
No.

540
00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:42,800
Well, serenity feels like
a long way away.

541
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:46,190
I don't know if you know,

542
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,280
I've also had...

543
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,470
addiction issues.

544
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,430
Yeah. Phil told me.

545
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,310
Alcohol.

546
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,520
Phil told me that, too.

547
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:03,430
I just wanted to say if
you ever do need to talk to someone,

548
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,750
the, uh, the sign of
the cross bit isn't so important

549
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,230
that I can't talk to you
as a human, too.

550
00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:11,270
That's kind.

551
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:12,560
I've got a sponsor.

552
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,070
But that's kind.

553
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,550
I find the meetings really useful,

554
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,670
but sponsors
weren't ever really for me.

555
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:25,190
Because the ones that
want to fix don't like to be fixed.

556
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,560
I've seen your type before.

557
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,360
You've seen me before,
too, I'm sure.

558
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,240
A few people in similar places.

559
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:37,880
Do they do OK?

560
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,440
They come out the other side?

561
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,880
Yeah. They did.

562
00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,720
You want to ask about
the ones like you?

563
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:54,960
Ask if they sorted themselves out?

564
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:57,520
Yeah.

565
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:00,680
Well, one did...

566
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,720
and one didn't.

567
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,320
See, I was a lot more honest
than you, then, wasn't I?

568
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,920
Sure you won't stay for dinner?

569
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:15,320
Yeah.

570
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,960
Thank you, for the stair thing.

571
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:24,720
I hope you make it through.

572
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:28,120
Cos you're one of the good ones.

573
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,440
I think you're one
of the good ones, too.

574
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,400
And I think we'll both make it.

575
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,590
Almighty ever-living God,

576
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,750
you rule both the living
and the dead

577
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,270
and are merciful to all.

578
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:40,875
We humbly beseech you that those
for whom we pour out our prayers

579
00:37:40,885 --> 00:37:46,880
may obtain pardon for their
sins through Your tender mercy.

580
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,270
- Amen.
- Amen.

581
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,640
Amen.

582
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,430
Do you find this place to be
a sanctuary, Bimpe?

583
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,960
I do.

584
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:13,160
But you work hard
at what it requires of you.

585
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:15,870
Faith is hard.

586
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,110
No, I'm...

587
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,919
I'm not talking about faith,
I'm talking about...

588
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:25,590
If I hadn't found a way for them
to let you stay,

589
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:29,520
would it have been easier
if they'd just thrown you out?

590
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,310
I'm grateful
you didn't let them do that.

591
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,310
Why?

592
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:36,790
Well, what...

593
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,120
What do you find here?

594
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,560
Belonging.

595
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:47,190
And... And sometimes
that peace you talked of.

596
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,320
Peace.

597
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:51,360
Belonging.

598
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,120
Good.

599
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,430
You knew, didn't you?

600
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:26,720
The sanctuary comment
was you guiding me.

601
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,720
I am a guide.

602
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,040
You knew I didn't fit here any more.

603
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,520
I did not.

604
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,550
I just wanted you to think
how this made you feel.

605
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,280
How being here again made you feel.

606
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,920
I want it to be home.

607
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,120
But it's not.

608
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:55,680
I think...

609
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:03,680
I feel that staying here
would be cowardice.

610
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,800
This...

611
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:13,270
This just isn't the life
for me any more.

612
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,190
Do you know what you will do?

613
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:16,360
No.

614
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:19,720
Are you going to him?

615
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:22,560
No.

616
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:25,880
It's not about that.

617
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,520
I'm not sure it was ever about that.

618
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,150
I have to...

619
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,680
I have to find a new answer.

620
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:42,880
A new peace.

621
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:49,280
You are not a coward, Anna.

622
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,720
No, I'm a...

623
00:40:55,360 --> 00:41:01,470
an unemployed, largely uneducated,
middle-aged woman.

624
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,790
But I do know
a huge amount about the Bible.

625
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,520
I have loved sharing your home.

626
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:13,680
God's home.

627
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,480
And I... I do love God.

628
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,200
I know.

629
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:26,550
The last time, I...

630
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,000
I left in panic.

631
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,640
But this time?

632
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:34,640
This time, I mean it.

633
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,360
But I have loved you.

634
00:41:47,720 --> 00:41:48,960
I love you.

635
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:54,800
And I have felt your love.

636
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,560
And I hope you have felt mine.

637
00:43:15,500 --> 00:43:21,500
*CREDITS*