1
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,710
Shall I take your bags
downstairs, love?

2
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,950
Oh, it's just... It's just one bag.

3
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,310
Quite, small. They don't...

4
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,430
I don't...

5
00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,830
They don't want me to bring much.

6
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,360
No, no, no.
Yes, I read the booklet.

7
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,550
So I can carry it.

8
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,790
I always thought we should have
redecorated this room.

9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,310
It was on my list, actually.

10
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,750
Well, you can now.

11
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,710
No, no, no. I meant for you.
I meant,

12
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,750
this room was done up
for a seven-year-old.

13
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,310
You've deers on the wallpaper.

14
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,470
I should've given it a lick of blue
paint over the summer sometime.

15
00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:54,110
Made it feel more like
a grown-up's room.

16
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,870
I like it.

17
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,750
My point is,

18
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,120
I think you grew up
and I didn't notice.

19
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,720
Well, Dad,
none of this is to upset you.

20
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,520
I found an answer to something,
that's all.

21
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,040
Muriel? Are you there?

22
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,230
Anna?

23
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,480
If, if you're there...

24
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,360
I think we need to talk.

25
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,760
I-I'm just posting my number
through the door.

26
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,560
I'd just like to talk. Talk more.

27
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,725
That's all.

28
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:27,500
*CREDITS*

29
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,070
No honey sandwiches?

30
00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,230
No, I'm sure I can rustle
something up.

31
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,120
Yeah? Don't.

32
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:07,560
How you doing?

33
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,270
Oh, you brought him?

34
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:27,440
Yeah.

35
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,190
You been waiting long, Father?

36
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,950
I'm sorry to keep you,

37
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:35,990
I'm having a bladder reaction
to the drugs or something

38
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,200
and they were changing my pads.

39
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,790
This a right level
of embarrassing for you?

40
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,710
Yep.

41
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,990
Do you want...?
Would you prefer some private time?

42
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,550
No.

43
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,030
She wanted you here.

44
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,110
Besides, we've had enough of that.

45
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,110
She's bored of me yapping away,

46
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,790
complaining about
this, that, the other.

47
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,150
Are you in pain?

48
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,750
Oh, yeah.

49
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,870
And it's on my notes
that I'm an addict

50
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,400
so they're being very cheap
with the painkillers.

51
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:15,200
Er, Tina wanted me to come
and ask what you wanted to do next.

52
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,830
Oh, I'd like to go home

53
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,800
and live my life,
thank you very much.

54
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:28,590
I suppose I am concerned that,
with Tina's baby on the way...

55
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:29,673
What?

56
00:04:29,683 --> 00:04:32,910
I'll let him back in and
he'll mess up that kid, too?

57
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,440
You're still charming.

58
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,760
Tina wants help.

59
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:40,350
I just...

60
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,560
I want things to be different now.

61
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,520
So you went to a priest?

62
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,630
I'm not a priest. Not here.

63
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,630
Just someone who cares.

64
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,070
We all care, Father.

65
00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,920
Some more than we should.

66
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:20,790
I am through with vetting families
for schools.

67
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,790
Little Algernon
is a firm Catholic.

68
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,670
We can't attend, of course,
we dry ski on Sundays,

69
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,270
but he prays daily

70
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,070
and we bought him some
of your holy beads from Amazon.

71
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,590
Show him, Algy, show him.

72
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,510
I'm sure his name isn't Algernon.

73
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,280
No. He's called Biscuit
or some such nonsense.

74
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,560
Sermon?

75
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,560
Oh, it's my sister's
marriage blessing.

76
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,710
I didn't see it in the diary.

77
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,440
Second marriage.

78
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,680
First one was...
Bloke was an arsehole.

79
00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,110
It's a registry office wedding
and then a blessing in the garden.

80
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,950
Then praise be
she's getting on the horse again.

81
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,950
What? The Church isn't right
about everything,

82
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,719
and I like your sister.

83
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:14,710
And I like people getting on horses.

84
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:18,190
I'm extending an awkward metaphor.

85
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,320
I'm checking you're getting
the help you need.

86
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,750
I'm getting the help I need.

87
00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,550
A lot of which
is coming from my sister.

88
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:29,760
Well, that's good.

89
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,470
I was concerned, etc.

90
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,470
I won't interfere, etc.

91
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,840
Consider me spent.

92
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,680
Thank you.

93
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,030
Now, we've had a strange request

94
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,910
I didn't know
whether to pass on.

95
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,030
The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth
has requested a visit.

96
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,510
What? Why? Why would...?

97
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,710
A parishioner has requested you.

98
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,040
Tina's father.

99
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,070
I don't think you should.

100
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,920
I'm not even sure
Tina would like you going.

101
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,600
But... your decision.

102
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,400
Anna.

103
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,710
I... I wasn't sure whether to...

104
00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,510
Knocked for you like four or five
times at Muriel's.

105
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,590
You haven't been home.

106
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,750
Well, that is impressive of you.

107
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,630
I've rung. Repeatedly.

108
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,470
You've done a lot.

109
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,310
Very thorough.

110
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,720
It's, beginning to sound like
harassment.

111
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,520
I wanted to talk to you.

112
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,200
I'm aware.

113
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:33,350
I just wanted to say that
I stand by everything I've said.

114
00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,430
I've... I've thought about it and,

115
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,400
this doesn't often happen to me,
but...

116
00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,520
I think I was right.

117
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,670
I think you and I should accept that

118
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,510
what happened between us
was meaningful,

119
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,390
but not in the way,

120
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,830
well not... not the way that
I thought it to be meaningful.

121
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,150
Can I speak now?

122
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:58,400
No.

123
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:01,600
Yes. If you want to.

124
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,950
You are...

125
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,230
But you're... you're not allowed
to compliment me.

126
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,030
Can you...? Just if, for instance,
you were going to say

127
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:16,710
that I was formidable or fantastic,

128
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,790
or even just interesting,

129
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,350
or anything about how I look
or how I am,

130
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,670
then that,
that wouldn't be OK to say.

131
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,520
Why not?

132
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,129
Look, can we just
start from the beginning?

133
00:09:30,139 --> 00:09:33,670
I mean... Look, the beginning and the end

134
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,910
is that I changed my life for you.

135
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,390
And you are not responsible
for that.

136
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,870
I really... I really hope
I've made it clear

137
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,550
that you are not responsible
for that.

138
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,030
It's...

139
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,390
It's just the truth.

140
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,670
I fi... I've found all of this
very confusing.

141
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,230
I apologise.

142
00:09:53,240 --> 00:10:00,270
I also hope I've made it clear
that it was all me and

143
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,390
I... I do apologise
for your confusion.

144
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,590
But it wasn't all you.

145
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,110
You're not allowed
to say that either.

146
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,760
Anna, what am I allowed to say?

147
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,230
Have you been praying?

148
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,550
About you?

149
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,310
God, no... No, not about me.

150
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,350
I just mean have you...

151
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:23,510
Have you been praying generally?

152
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:29,230
I feel like I've been the cause
of some spiritual undoing

153
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,870
and I just...

154
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,710
I just wanted to make sure that
you've been...

155
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,230
You've been praying again.

156
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,030
Yeah, I've been praying.

157
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,470
Have you?

158
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,480
Yes.

159
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:45,337
I've also been
going more regularly

160
00:10:45,347 --> 00:10:47,270
to Alcoholics Anonymous.

161
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,635
It's not something
I want advertised

162
00:10:49,645 --> 00:10:52,000
but something you
probably guessed.

163
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,750
Yeah, I did...

164
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,080
sense that. And that's helpful?

165
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,040
Think so. My sister's...

166
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,120
Good people around me.

167
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:14,790
You're not to feel responsible.

168
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,070
You shouldn't apologise.
I should.

169
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,790
I'm sorry.

170
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:25,110
I behaved towards you like...

171
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,510
I felt...
You-you made me feel things.

172
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,040
I need you to know that.

173
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,240
You made me feel things.

174
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:41,910
Now I... I'm trying
to set myself right.

175
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,470
I'm determined to be a good priest.

176
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,880
Or at least the best priest
I'm capable of being.

177
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,590
My confusion was never you.

178
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,240
It was...

179
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,030
You brought to light...

180
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,440
Well, you've done a bit more
than bring to light.

181
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:08,435
At AA, we try to explain

182
00:12:08,445 --> 00:12:11,590
not who we are but why we are,

183
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:17,840
and I think you saw the who
but not the why.

184
00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:22,550
I think my understanding
of what I should be has been...

185
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:25,320
I think I've been trying
to help people in the wrong way.

186
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,190
And which way is that?

187
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:31,350
Saving people.

188
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,760
It's an addiction like any other.

189
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:10,040
Wonderful's the word
I would've used to describe you.

190
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,120
See you again.

191
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,400
Not if I see you first.

192
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,990
Is that you?

193
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,670
Oh, of course it's you,

194
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,470
I'm due on shift.

195
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,510
Oh, I've cooked.

196
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,510
A disgusting idea, I know.

197
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:19,750
But on the off chance
you're not repulsed,

198
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,790
there's half a shepherd's pie
in the oven.

199
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,830
You look like you're coming down
with a cold.

200
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,430
No. No, I'm fine.

201
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,950
You sure?

202
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,310
What time are you back?

203
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,755
Shift ends 5am.

204
00:14:30,765 --> 00:14:33,640
Very lucky, I know. Come here.

205
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,040
Eat the pie.

206
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,310
Hi, can I have a glass
of red wine, please?

207
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,750
We've got a list if you want to...

208
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,190
Oh, just the... Just the cheapest.

209
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200
Coming right up.

210
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,000
It's OK.

211
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,500
_

212
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,340
_

213
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,050
_

214
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,360
_

215
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,970
_

216
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:09,400
_

217
00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:13,210
_

218
00:17:13,820 --> 00:17:16,815
_

219
00:17:16,825 --> 00:17:19,820
_

220
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,830
_

221
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:26,100
_

222
00:17:26,110 --> 00:17:32,090
_

223
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,100
_

224
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:35,640
_

225
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,300
_

226
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,110
_

227
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:44,520
_

228
00:17:44,530 --> 00:17:47,330
_

229
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,780
_

230
00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:54,390
_

231
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,700
_

232
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:05,500
_

233
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:09,600
_

234
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,800
- Hi.
- Hi.

235
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:47,430
- You waiting for someone?
- Er, no, no. I...

236
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,390
I just couldn't stay in the house
any longer.

237
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,830
How come?

238
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,790
Irritated by the sound
of my own thoughts.

239
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,630
I know that feeling.

240
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,070
Tony.

241
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,240
- Anna. Hi.
- Hi.

242
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,110
Who... who are you with?

243
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,030
Uh, my brother and his wife.

244
00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,510
Yeah, they came here to get away
from their kids

245
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,879
and they just want to talk about
their kids.

246
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,630
You got children?

247
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,350
No. No. You?

248
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:29,590
Uh, yeah, yeah, one. Ben. He's 11.

249
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,950
His mum and I are divorced.
It's... it's tricky.

250
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,760
Yeah. I can imagine.

251
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,390
What do you do, Anna?

252
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,400
I'm a... cook.

253
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,280
A cafe cook.

254
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,150
Which cafe?

255
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,670
Well, really I just,
I... I make cakes and bakes

256
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,670
and sell them to different cafes.

257
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,950
You know, just a home kitchen.
Nothing big.

258
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,630
Keeps me going.

259
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,910
Well, I may have eaten
a sausage roll of yours in my time.

260
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,040
Spicy lamb rolls are my speciality.

261
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,150
Wh-what do you do?

262
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,960
Uh, solicitor.
I work for Bristol City Council.

263
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,590
Oh, listen,
I'm not very good at getting served

264
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,840
but can I buy you a drink, Anna?

265
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,910
Er, one more and I'll be drunk.

266
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,790
Uh, I'm, um, to be honest, I...

267
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,550
I'm a bit bored of this place.

268
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:52,920
Have you...
Have you got somewhere we could go?

269
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,480
Er, sure.

270
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,070
You OK?

271
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,990
Can I just say,
you're in great shape?

272
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,800
Better shape than me.

273
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,950
Are you OK? Am I...?
Am I going too fast?

274
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,110
No.

275
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,230
S, s, s, s, I'm sorry...

276
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,040
I mean, this was your idea,
wasn't it?

277
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:28,350
No, it's, um...
No, it's not... It's not you.

278
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,030
Listen, I'm... I'm sorry if I...

279
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:34,990
No, I'm, um... It's-it's not you.
I'm-I'm sorry.

280
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,550
Well, it's, it's, it's OK.
I like you.

281
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,870
I... I... Should I...?
We...

282
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,350
I can make a cup of tea?

283
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,750
With some biscuits.

284
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,430
Maybe we can,
we can, we can talk about it?

285
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,240
I'm, um... I'm...

286
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,990
- I can't.
- What you going?

287
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,710
Can I call you?

288
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,310
No...

289
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,520
No.

290
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,390
Anna?

291
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,910
You've-you've done nothing
wrong. This is...

292
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,880
It's... It's my-my mistake.
Please, please don't.

293
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,200
I don't want this...
I'm not ready.

294
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,790
Father Hicks?

295
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,590
Father Bennet.

296
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,070
Call me William.

297
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,240
David.

298
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,190
OK, so you'll be meeting him
in the multi faith room.

299
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,870
It's up to you if you want someone
in the room with you.

300
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,230
I'll be OK.

301
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,040
I think he genuinely wants counsel.

302
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,790
Guard staying out?

303
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:12,040
You asked for me.

304
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:14,950
Yes.

305
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,990
I was surprised.

306
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,200
Yeah.

307
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,390
Am I here as a priest?

308
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,600
Or as a man?

309
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,280
As a priest.

310
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,120
What do you want from me?

311
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,000
I, um...

312
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:48,960
Uh, they told me she's gonna be OK.

313
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:56,150
I asked if I could call her
but they... they said no.

314
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:57,550
You thought they might allow it?

315
00:25:57,560 --> 00:25:59,270
I didn't know. That's why I asked.

316
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,680
- Why do you wanna speak to her?
- Because I love her.

317
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,480
I wanted to hear her voice.
Hear she was...

318
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,000
Hear she wasn't in too much pain.

319
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,920
What, pain that you caused?

320
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:21,480
Yeah, I know, I know.

321
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:27,880
Have you...?

322
00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:31,960
Will you visit her?

323
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,840
I have.

324
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:39,160
- And is she...?
- She's in pretty bad shape.

325
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,880
I don't know...

326
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:54,960
I don't know how to stop.

327
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,550
If she gives evidence against me
they'll give me two years, maybe,

328
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,524
and I'll be released
on condition

329
00:27:06,534 --> 00:27:08,190
that I stay away from her.

330
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,950
But... but she'll find me.
Because that's her way.

331
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,590
And... and then
I'll just do it again.

332
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,470
You've assumed a lot of things
in that statement.

333
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,440
Or she won't and I'll find
someone else.

334
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,470
I can smell it on 'em.

335
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,920
The woman.

336
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,750
The women who won't say no.

337
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,790
The women that'll take it.

338
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,790
- I-I know who they are.
- Sounds like...

339
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,270
Oh, what, you think there
weren't others before her?

340
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,000
Others during her?

341
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,990
Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me
to get women.

342
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,590
These hands have broken three jaws.

343
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,990
I've stamped on hands.

344
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,470
I've shattered legs, pelvises,
eye sockets.

345
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,270
One girl I almost ripped her ear
clean off.

346
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,590
What can you say to that?

347
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,040
You sound almost proud.

348
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:59,360
My mum, she walked with a... a hunch.

349
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,590
Walking round the house
with a bunch of washing

350
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,110
in a cheap plastic basket,

351
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,920
and this saggy face and this
hunch...

352
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,070
like she was always waiting
for the gut punch.

353
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,230
Why did you want me to hear that?

354
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,760
What's the question?

355
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,360
I'm thinking I need to kill myself.

356
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:27,950
And I know that that is a sin,

357
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,160
but I'm thinking
it's all that I've got.

358
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,280
It is the only way to stop me.

359
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,000
And I'm asking for your guidance
on that.

360
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:13,600
OK.

361
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,910
I think that you need help.

362
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,270
Tried it. It didn't work.

363
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,200
I think you need to try again.

364
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,550
Father Bennet told me of
a counselling service here.

365
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,630
No. No.
I just want to hurt them too.

366
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,750
They think they're
so fucking clever. They never are.

367
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,950
I am actually clever.

368
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,880
I can see how fucking thick they are
and I won't have it.

369
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,830
Do you think I'm clever?

370
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,760
You? You're not as clever
as you think.

371
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,680
You are weak.

372
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:53,960
I can smell the booze on you now.

373
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,670
No.

374
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:57,840
Fine.

375
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,360
But I've smelt the booze on you
before.

376
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,790
And I know you go to those meetings.

377
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,710
I've got friends in those meetings
and they know you're weak too.

378
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:10,270
Why... why's it matter what I think?

379
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:11,840
Because I have said this.

380
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,430
You are my priest.

381
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,640
I've never much felt like
your priest.

382
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,430
You can talk to any priest.

383
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,590
Maybe someone with some distance.
Father Bennet.

384
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,710
I don't know them.
They could be kiddy fiddlers,

385
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:29,910
or worse still,

386
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,630
the pious fuckers who think that
everything is easy.

387
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,080
You're weak...

388
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,840
but you're a good man.

389
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,590
I've seen you and I know
you're good.

390
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,520
And you have been good
to my daughter.

391
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,000
I trust your judgment.

392
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,750
I don't want this last act
to be a sin.

393
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,110
I want it to be an act of penance.

394
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,750
And God is not talking
to me right now,

395
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,230
so I need to know from you,
I need to know that...

396
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:02,880
I need to be sure that this is...

397
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,040
That penance is right.

398
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:21,520
Good.

399
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,600
Good, yeah, you're thinking.

400
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:32,160
Well, there it is.
I know I've said all I want to say.

401
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,240
I'll trust your word.

402
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,350
Yes or no?

403
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,630
First foster home I went to was fine

404
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:51,030
but they were only doing
emergency care.

405
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,080
The second was OK
but we didn't get on.

406
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,670
Third foster family I went to,
I was five.

407
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:02,840
I lived there for two years
till I was seven.

408
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,920
The oldest kid there was 14.

409
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:14,030
I won't give him his name
because he doesn't deserve it.

410
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,230
To be honest, I don't need to hear
the personal stuff.

411
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,160
He thought I made too much noise.
He liked to pinch me.

412
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,910
Just little hard pinches
that no-one saw.

413
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:30,070
And I-I was a pretty scared child
and I let him.

414
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,950
And then it escalated a little.

415
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,150
He'd punch me.

416
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,400
Little rabbit punches
he'd call them.

417
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,760
He'd push me off things, and he'd...

418
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,200
do everything he could,
little things, to...

419
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,430
He enjoyed my pain.

420
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,310
I am not finding this interesting.
I just want an answer.

421
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,590
I didn't want to talk
to my support worker about it,

422
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:57,430
because I thought it was this
or an institution,

423
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,910
and I had my own room
with this family

424
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:01,910
and I really enjoyed the food,

425
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:05,990
and I had a couple of friends
at school that I liked to play with.

426
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,470
And then my...

427
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,000
The people who became my parents
started to visit.

428
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,470
And they were really special.

429
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,590
Everyone could see.

430
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,630
They smelt good. They were Catholic.

431
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,430
Everyone knew that religious
adopters were the best kind.

432
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,550
Third time they visited,

433
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:32,430
he followed me into the toilet

434
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,750
and he slammed my head
into the bowl and he held it,

435
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,830
he tried to hold it into the water,

436
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,990
he tried to drown me
in the toilet water,

437
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,470
but there wasn't enough water
in the bottom of the bowl

438
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,750
and so he pushed his hands
around my head

439
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,230
and I was bleeding.

440
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:49,720
He strangled me.

441
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:01,560
He strangled me
so hard I lost consciousness.

442
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,480
I don't know how.

443
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,800
I don't who saved me.

444
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,430
I was taken away from that
foster family immediately,

445
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,070
taken, actually taken in to...

446
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,480
By the Catholics who adopted me.

447
00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:28,870
My point is...

448
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:30,510
Actually, I have two points.

449
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,800
My first is - I understand pain.

450
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,040
I understand people
who want to inflict pain.

451
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:44,760
My second point is,
that boy, me...

452
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:51,630
I had no-one to talk to.

453
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:52,920
No-one.

454
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:57,510
And I... I've thought since then,

455
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:01,710
I resolved I would never let anyone
be alone like that,

456
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,880
like I was, again.

457
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,310
But...

458
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:09,800
But I think you do need to be alone,
Phil.

459
00:35:12,720 --> 00:35:15,350
Penance is about change.

460
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,000
It's not about ends.

461
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,590
If you commit the same sin,

462
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,990
you can't just clean it off

463
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,030
and you can't think one act
cleans the slate. It doesn't.

464
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,390
God doesn't work like that.

465
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,510
God loves but God also expects.
And what does he expect?

466
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:32,880
He expects love.

467
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,960
He expects love.

468
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,270
For yourself and for others.

469
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,280
And he expects you
to be the best love.

470
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,230
John 4:8.

471
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:51,550
"Dear friends, let us love one
another, for love comes from God.

472
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,760
"Everyone who loves has been born
of God and knows God."

473
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,790
So, no. No. I will not
sit in judgment on your act.

474
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,750
It's a sin how you've lived
and if you kill yourself,

475
00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:12,360
it'll be a sin how you die.

476
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,880
But I will say this.

477
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,160
Yeah, you're right. I am weak.

478
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,230
But you are weaker

479
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:27,600
if you think you truly
have no way of helping yourself.

480
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:35,470
And I will be... I...
I will do everything I can

481
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,110
to help Bianca see this through

482
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:42,080
so you stay in here
for a very long time.

483
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,750
Hi.

484
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:34,510
Hello.

485
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,160
This is a surprise.

486
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,630
I, uh, thought about calling,

487
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,070
but I didn't want to catch
you unawares.

488
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,070
Well, you caught me unawares
on your last visit so...

489
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:46,590
fair's fair.

490
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,320
And you're cooking?

491
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,070
The James family invited us over.

492
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,030
I thought I'd make my apple cake.

493
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,720
Chris? Chris!

494
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:02,200
Well, don't let me stop you.

495
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,510
Do you want to help?

496
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:10,030
Yeah. Of course.

497
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:21,270
Hello.

498
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,350
She's helping me now.
You can go back to your room.

499
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:26,590
Nice to see you.

500
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:28,550
- And you, Dad.
- Are you well?

501
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:30,040
We're cooking.

502
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,095
That was an odd
thing to do, wasn't it?

503
00:38:45,105 --> 00:38:46,830
Forgot I had some out.

504
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,990
Sure.

505
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,950
You de-core and slice.

506
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:52,990
I'll keep working on
the rest of it.

507
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,360
OK.

508
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:02,550
I've been making
a yoghurt and apple cake, actually.

509
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,360
We had a farmer who would swap...

510
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,270
Ah. Doesn't matter.

511
00:39:12,760 --> 00:39:14,710
I hate it when you do that.

512
00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:18,680
When you're superior like that.
"It doesn't matter."

513
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,520
Like you are the arbiter of...

514
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,590
I'm just...
I'm just here to see you, Mum.

515
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,040
I just want to help you make a cake.

516
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,080
I like thin slices.

517
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,240
Feels like they melt into the cake
when they're thin.

518
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,600
I need a lift, Dad.

519
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,560
OK. Where to?

520
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,630
Hello, Father.

521
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,670
Hello.

522
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,350
I just wondered if Anna...

523
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,310
Whether I could talk to Anna.

524
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:56,510
Um... No, I'm afraid you can't.

525
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,230
Look, I-I know I've made mistakes.

526
00:40:58,240 --> 00:41:00,750
I-I just want to explain

527
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,470
or try to set things right,

528
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,870
just talk to her.

529
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,870
She's gone back.

530
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,120
Back where?

531
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,430
She...

532
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:19,920
She left me a letter.

533
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,000
Probably thought I'd
try and convince her different.

534
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,760
- Do you... Do you want to come in?
- She's made a mistake.

535
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:38,350
I think you've thought that
a few times.

536
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:39,720
She has.

537
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,880
She took her skin off for you.

538
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:52,040
Maybe she just wants to
put it on again.

539
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:55,760
Feel safe again.

540
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:02,760
Yeah.

541
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,800
Anna?

542
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,110
Oh, it is you.

543
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,750
And looking so healthy.

544
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,150
Look at that lovely hair.

545
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:28,400
Hello, Polly. Hello, Agnes.

546
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,510
I didn't think I'd see you again.

547
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,840
You have light all through you.

548
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:54,600
Hello.

549
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,230
Are you in-in the middle
of something or shall I...?

550
00:43:01,240 --> 00:43:02,600
Stay. Please.

551
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,070
Please don't make this humiliating.

552
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,670
I wasn't intending to.

553
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:14,000
But may I ask why?

554
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,670
This is my home.

555
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,880
No. It is a home of God.

556
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,390
Did he reject you?

557
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,680
No.

558
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,470
Are you going
to change your mind again?

559
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:34,670
No.

560
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:39,630
Sorry to ask,
I hope you know why I have.

561
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:41,960
Is there still a place for me?

562
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,360
Of course there is.

563
00:43:47,520 --> 00:43:50,030
I can do good work here.

564
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:51,520
You always did.

565
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,240
I, uh, I have my habit.

566
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:02,560
If you want to,
you may put it back on.

567
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,150
You are loved here

568
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,840
and we are pleased
you have found your way back.

569
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,800
I love you, too.

570
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:24,150
And I will try not to expect you
to be the same person now

571
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,440
as you were when you left us.

572
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:31,600
Though you do seem to be
just as irritating.

573
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,190
In the name of the Father

574
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,550
and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.

575
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,670
The Lord be with you.

576
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,520
And with your spirit.

577
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:48,150
Lord, we have sinned against you.

578
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,150
Lord have mercy.

579
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,390
Lord have mercy.

580
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,630
Lord, hear our prayer
to fill us as you filled your Son

581
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,320
with love to fight the world.

582
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,550
Help us...

583
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,040
to...

584
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:08,750
Help...

585
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,160
Help-help-help us to...

586
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,470
Amen.

587
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:15,920
Amen.

588
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:20,230
Show us.

589
00:45:20,240 --> 00:45:22,630
Show us your mercy

590
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,670
and your love.

591
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,160
And grant us your salvation.

592
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,110
May Almighty God have mercy on us,

593
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:35,950
forgive our sins

594
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,670
and bring us to everlasting life.

595
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:40,710
Amen.

596
00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,110
Amen.

597
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,520
Amen.

598
00:47:53,100 --> 00:47:59,100
*CREDITS*