1 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:28,252 Go forth from this world in the love of God 2 00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,920 who created you, 3 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,890 in the mercy of Jesus Christ, who redeemed you, 4 00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,070 in the power of the Holy Spirit who strengthens you. 5 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,106 May you dwell this day in peace. 6 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,208 We love you. 7 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,110 You can go now. 8 00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:47,748 - And that's it? - That's it. 9 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,473 That's the dream. 10 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:50,808 You just say a prayer? 11 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,576 For someone who's dying. 12 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,854 Who? 13 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,880 I don't know. 14 00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:57,214 What do you think it means? 15 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,183 Ah, bugger all, most likely. 16 00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:03,063 When I wake up, I... Well, I, have this feeling. 17 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:04,932 Of what? 18 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,525 Dread. 19 00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,059 Oh, that's normal. 20 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,907 I wake up with dread every single day. 21 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,141 That's not normal, Geordie. 22 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,910 *CREDITS* 23 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,717 Oh, sorry, Vicar. 24 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,153 Uh, welcome to our all-American drive-in. 25 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:39,056 I'm Betty, your waitress. How can I help y'all? 26 00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,792 Flipping hellfire! These things are lethal. 27 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,160 Accent's getting better. 28 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,463 It really does it for me, the accent... 29 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:47,875 Freddie! Sorry, Vicar. 30 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,903 That'll be ten bob, please, Vicar. 31 00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:55,582 Thank you, Freddie. 32 00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:08,162 It'll be to do with your Ma'am. 33 00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:12,356 - What will? - The dream. 34 00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:15,259 - Uh, Mira. - Mira. Sorry. 35 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,628 - Got a big day coming up. - Nah, it's not that big. 36 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,040 - You must be nervous. - I'm excited. 37 00:02:21,742 --> 00:02:24,602 I am. Now we've met a few times and... 38 00:02:24,612 --> 00:02:26,914 We're getting on really well. 39 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,250 Perfectly, in fact... 40 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,476 I can't wait for her to meet you all. 41 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,821 Alphy Kottaram! 42 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,714 You're a braver man than I. 43 00:02:36,724 --> 00:02:38,549 The most dreadful thing has happened. 44 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,884 He's only gone and died. 45 00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:41,285 Who has? 46 00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,731 Bertrand Mills. From the garage. 47 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,901 Bert Mills Motors. 48 00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:50,094 - Bert? - Bertrand Mills. 49 00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:51,328 From the garage. 50 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,930 I have no idea who Bert is... 51 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,232 "We are saddened to announce the passing of Bertrand Mills, 52 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:58,435 who died today surrounded by family and friends." 53 00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,637 His poor wife. 54 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:02,339 - Such a lovely couple. - I spoke to him yesterday. 55 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,874 He's not dead, Mrs C. 56 00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,585 Yes, he is. It says it right here. 57 00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:10,748 - Whaddya know? Bert! - Bert? 58 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,883 Bert, I take it? 59 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,152 Don't believe everything you see, Mrs C. 60 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,231 There he is. The man of the hour. 61 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,925 - Hello, handsome! - Hello, Miriam. 62 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:24,194 I demand that you kiss me immediately. 63 00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,998 I'd demand the same, but I'm not sure my request 64 00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,568 would be met with quite the same gusto. 65 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,037 Bravo, Alphy, this is a triumph. 66 00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,805 We could be in the Hollywood Hills. 67 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,716 Bar the faint whiff of livestock, hey? 68 00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,622 Hey, up, who died? 69 00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,216 It's a mistake. 70 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:47,418 It's quite the mistake. 71 00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:50,521 It's the Echo. They once spelt Cambridge wrong. 72 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,789 I can look into it for you. 73 00:03:51,799 --> 00:03:53,724 Oh, don't bother. It'll be some other chap. 74 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,492 How many other Bertrand Mills do you know? 75 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,694 We're a dime a dozen. 76 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,228 Well, there's only one as far as I'm concerned 77 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,465 and I'm rather keen on him not kicking the bucket. 78 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:02,633 The offer's there. 79 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,802 Let's not make something of nothing, Inspector. 80 00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:07,037 Where d'you want us to put the car? 81 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,440 Betty? 82 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,842 Could you show Mr Mills where to park his car, please? 83 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,410 This way y'all. 84 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,846 And I thought my Cadillac was the prettiest thing on wheels. 85 00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:17,024 Bert! 86 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,516 - You are naughty. - Oh, my Lord. 87 00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,685 Mrs Mills! Look at that sparkler! 88 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,731 My Freddie better buy me one of them... 89 00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:31,395 Sorry. Sorry, I'm late. 90 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,863 There was a bit of a hoo-haa... 91 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,633 Someone forgot to pay Cece's electric bill. 92 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,935 And then someone forgot to get us reconnected. 93 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,404 And that 'someone' was me. 94 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:41,839 We gathered. 95 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,707 I have never been in the red in my life. 96 00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,043 Yes, you've said that ten times already. 97 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,045 Well, I'm saying it once more for good measure. 98 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,346 Don't think we've met. I'm Geordie. 99 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,448 Oh, very funny. 100 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,150 Like ships in the night, Jack. 101 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,763 - I'm a CeCe's widow. - Bliss, isn't it? 102 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,423 Remind me why we're doing this again? 103 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,158 Because we're sociable. 104 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,292 Since when? 105 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,761 - We are a young. - Debatable... 106 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,262 - Dynamic... - Again... 107 00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,364 fabulous couple about town. 108 00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:08,732 And so are they. 109 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:09,867 This is going to be hell. 110 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,336 What if we don't have anything in common? 111 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,714 We'll have loads in common. 112 00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:15,683 Cinema. 113 00:05:16,517 --> 00:05:18,008 They're fellas who likes fellas. 114 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,110 You like Geordie. You like Alphy. 115 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,755 Not in the same way, I don't think. 116 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:28,996 Please behave. 117 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:32,022 Look who brought the picnic blanket! 118 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,424 Please have fun. 119 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,335 Look who brought scones! 120 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,428 Weather's looking promising. 121 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,206 Forecast is... excellent. 122 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,212 Big day Sunday. 123 00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,640 Not that big. 124 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:50,884 Are you nervous? 125 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:54,378 I wasn't until everyone started asking... 126 00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:56,113 I'm pulling out all the stops. 127 00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,082 Got my hands on a lovely leg of lamb. 128 00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:00,693 She'd be serving a fatted calf if she could. 129 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,065 - Sorry. I'll be back in a sec. - 'Course. 130 00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,324 He's nervous. 131 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,794 It's been a bit quiet at the Halfway House. 132 00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,597 But we've got a new chap arriving tomorrow. 133 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,734 It's amazing what you've done with that place. 134 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,402 I admire you so much. 135 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,170 Well, I admire you. 136 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,372 You're wonderful, and I'm not even drunk. 137 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,574 Well, I am drunk. 138 00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,152 And I think I love you a little bit. 139 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:29,089 Nice field. 140 00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,861 Very... Rural. 141 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,025 Hello, everyone! Hi! 142 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,496 Our motion picture is about to start. 143 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,331 Lady Godiva Rides Again. 144 00:06:47,341 --> 00:06:50,768 A story of glitz, glamour, intrigue... 145 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,880 and a certain Miss Diana Dors. 146 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,307 Now, I must thank Bert and his garage 147 00:06:57,317 --> 00:07:00,077 for the loan of these wonderful cars, 148 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,879 which will definitely not in any way 149 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,148 get scratched or damaged. 150 00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:05,153 Thank you, Bert. 151 00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:07,084 Oi, trousers! I want a word with you. 152 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:11,355 Now all funds raised are in aid of Mr Finch's halfway house, 153 00:07:11,365 --> 00:07:14,267 which rehabilitates those who have... 154 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,262 lost their way... 155 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,942 - Are you threatening me? - Bert, please. That's enough. 156 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:32,109 Sorry, talking of losing the way... 157 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,311 Hot dogs! 158 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:35,412 Hot dogs! Yes! 159 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:39,259 Betty will be round to deliver them safely to you. 160 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,052 Safely-ish. 161 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:46,266 So sit back, relax and enjoy! Thank you. 162 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,770 What's a hotdog? 163 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,165 You wouldn't like me to do you a little favour would you? 164 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,366 How d'you mean? 165 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,101 Well, Vic gave me a bikini last night, 166 00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,970 so I won't be wearing this. 167 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,449 I haven't worn this costume before, that's all. 168 00:08:04,418 --> 00:08:07,277 - Men... - Slave to their loins. 169 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,090 - What was that? - Nothing, my dearest. 170 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,618 - What's this? - Hot dog. 171 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,386 With mushrooms and ketchup. 172 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,622 Oh no. No, I don't think so. 173 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:21,124 It's just a sausage, Sylvia. 174 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,326 It's vulgar. 175 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,727 It's American. 176 00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:24,928 Precisely. 177 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,564 What's wrong with keeping your sausage tucked away 178 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:28,799 like us British folk do? 179 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,944 I'll let you answer that, Jack. 180 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,904 Hello, handsome. 181 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:37,140 Everything alright? 182 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:41,889 That ghastly thing in the paper, it's unnerving, don't you think? 183 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,648 Bert doesn't seem worried. 184 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:48,385 Bert doesn't do worried. 185 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:53,266 His emotions run the gamut from stoic to stiff-upper-lipped. 186 00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,638 Well, go on then. Off you go. 187 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,406 I'm sure they'll figure it out. 188 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,251 Stop! Bert! Come away. 189 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:21,228 See? All's well that ends well. 190 00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:27,734 Could I speak to the reception, please? 191 00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:29,937 Go on. 192 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,274 I like board games. 193 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,979 - Board games? - Yeah. Never mind. 194 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,083 Do you play Risk? 195 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,186 Do I play Risk? 196 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,488 Bloody love it. 197 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,059 The Game of Global Domination." 198 00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,484 Daniel likes Risk. 199 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,954 - I love it! - I hate it. 200 00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:57,988 Me too. 201 00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,733 With all of my heart. 202 00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:05,973 Silly me. Ketchup everywhere. 203 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,408 What was all that? 204 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,971 Would you get your friend to look into it for me, please? 205 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:16,807 - The newspaper? - I, uh... Of course, I will. 206 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,684 Miriam, what's going on? 207 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,294 Bert? 208 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,866 Hey... Stop! Stop! 209 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,905 It wasn't me. 210 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,716 It wasn't me. 211 00:10:55,183 --> 00:10:56,051 Bert? 212 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,225 No, Miriam. Don't look, please. 213 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,745 What does that look like to you? 214 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,184 Vampire bites? 215 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,122 What? 216 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:31,525 Come on. 217 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,166 Chin up, Fred! Keep buggering on. 218 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,840 - Any sign of the weapon? - Tool kit in the boot. 219 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,912 Nah, it'd be smaller than that. 220 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:54,181 Thinner blade. 221 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,973 Two prongs, maybe... 222 00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,518 We'll keep searching, Boss. 223 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,714 I-I can explain. 224 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,793 Hmm, let's hear it then... 225 00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:10,287 Yeah, thought as much. 226 00:12:10,297 --> 00:12:12,189 Look, Bert was drunk. 227 00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,491 He wanted me to drive the car home for him. 228 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,503 I didn't know he was in the back. 229 00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,663 How did you know Betrand Mills? 230 00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:20,974 He was my boss. 231 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,009 And then he sacked me. 232 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,302 For what? 233 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,080 For tardiness. 234 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,440 "It wasn't me." 235 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,509 Wasn't what? 236 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:33,944 That's what you said to us, Freddie. 237 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,847 Well, it wasn't. Me, that is. 238 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,025 Not entirely convincing. 239 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,751 Sorry to say. 240 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,753 I don't think it was him. 241 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,856 I know what you're thinking, and no. 242 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:48,291 It's a crime of passion, if ever I saw one. 243 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,726 It's not his wife. 244 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:50,961 It's always the wife. 245 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,439 You've watched too many movies. 246 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,469 What kind of murderer announces their plans in the paper? 247 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:02,639 The kind that kills someone in front of an entire village. 248 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:04,151 Doesn't make any sense. 249 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,320 But a Vampire bite does, does it? 250 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,490 Cambridgeshire police. 251 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,126 I'm not quite sure who we need to speak to but... 252 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,241 We want to speak to him. 253 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,869 What were you doing at the film? 254 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,605 Much the same as everyone else, I imagine. 255 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,974 Distracting myself from the mediocre plot 256 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,810 with the lovely Diana Dors and her sensual hair toss. 257 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,880 And getting into an argument with Mr Mills. 258 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,716 That was... unfortunate. 259 00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,862 As is this. 260 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,690 Bert placed it. 261 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:56,126 Bert placed the announcement of his own death? 262 00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,695 He'd brought in the wording and paid for it himself. 263 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,564 Oh, that feels a little... 264 00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:03,400 Odd? Well, I thought so. 265 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,902 But ours is not to reason why. 266 00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:07,380 Well, you're a journalist. 267 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,472 That's exactly your reason. 268 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,808 I wrote some opinion pieces about his garage. 269 00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:14,010 Not complimentary, I take it? 270 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,979 Bertrand Mills was a con artist. 271 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,025 I was just exposing him for the miscreant he was. 272 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:28,268 Here you go. 273 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,171 "Do not buy cars from this man!" 274 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,974 by Mr Gregory Parsons. 275 00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:38,268 To the point, I guess. 276 00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:39,279 Pithy. 277 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,906 - Weapon? - Still looking boss. 278 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,175 We have one working theory. 279 00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,210 - It's a sweetcorn fork. - For sweetcorn. 280 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,546 Can do yourself a right mischief on them, I'm telling you. 281 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,415 Did either of you see any sweetcorn last night? 282 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,560 No. 283 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:57,764 - We'll keep mulling. - You do that. 284 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,060 I thought we'd start the evening with Risk... 285 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,830 And then finish with Monopoly, maybe? 286 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,732 Well, Risk doesn't finish, Jen. 287 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:12,302 It goes on for days. Sometimes weeks. 288 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:15,905 God help me, I've opened the gates to hell. 289 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,575 I see your "Do not buy cars from this man", 290 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,953 and I raise you... 291 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,514 - That's more than a takedown of a business. - _ 292 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,293 That's a takedown of Bertrand Mills. 293 00:15:32,732 --> 00:15:34,758 I need to get these back to the garage... 294 00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:35,825 Miriam... 295 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,127 I need everything in the right place, 296 00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,729 or I will lose what is left of my sanity! 297 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:41,731 Miriam. 298 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,075 Stop. 299 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,850 Don't have a cigarette, do you? 300 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:53,777 You don't smoke. 301 00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,956 Well, desperate times and all that. 302 00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,849 The articles in the Echo... 303 00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,095 That stupid bloody paper. 304 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:03,897 Are they true? 305 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,822 Lies. 306 00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,068 Every single word. 307 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,804 It's that low-life journalist. 308 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,273 Gregory Parsons. 309 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,066 Horrid creature. 310 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:18,435 You think he wrote the announcement of Bert's death? 311 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,903 Don't you? 312 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,281 Why would he do that? 313 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,373 Jealousy. 314 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:26,276 Bert was an exemplary man. 315 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:28,812 Exemplary businessman. 316 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,613 Anyone who could vouch for that? 317 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,759 Your husband's business acumen, that is? 318 00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,228 Our accountant. 319 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,854 Just a word of warning, 320 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:41,191 he is rather fond of his own voice. 321 00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,860 There are three types of accountant in this world. 322 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:46,171 Those that can count and those that can't. 323 00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,968 Yes, only a fraction of people will find that funny. 324 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:55,082 And indeed only half of you will actually get it. 325 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,176 I'm guessing not this half. 326 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,747 Sorry. I-I've not had to speak to the police before. 327 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:06,249 Desperately trying to quell all my copper jokes. 328 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,752 Please do, Mr Switch. 329 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,220 Feel free to call me Switch. 330 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,255 Or Switchy, if you're feeling fruity. 331 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:13,923 Mr Switch... 332 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,559 you knew Mr Mills well? 333 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:17,761 Good man. 334 00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:20,864 - Honest? - As the day is long. 335 00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:24,110 I have his paperwork right here. 336 00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,380 Scrupulous to a fault. 337 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:32,809 It's the, uh, envelope you're after, I imagine. 338 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,120 What envelope? 339 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:44,931 Bert said it was only to be opened in dire circumstances. 340 00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:47,901 Like now you mean? 341 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:54,040 I suppose this is pretty dire. Now you come to mention it. 342 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,517 "My business is being ruined by one man. 343 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:07,844 "Who knows where he'll stop? 344 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,179 "If anything happens, 345 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,158 "know it's the bastard hack who did it." 346 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,661 Mr Pars... 347 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,728 Gentlemen. 348 00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,264 If you'd come with us, please, Sir. 349 00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,399 On what grounds? 350 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:33,736 On the grounds you had an argument with Bertrand Mills. 351 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,105 - And a fight. - And a fight. 352 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,075 On the grounds. You wrote some very scathing... 353 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,511 - And entirely untrue... - articles... 354 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,446 about a man who is now dead... 355 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,649 In the paper where that death was announced. 356 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,918 So, those quite comprehensive grounds. 357 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,164 Do you have anything to say for yourself? 358 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,559 I did it. 359 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:59,128 You... did it? 360 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,874 That is correct. 361 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,468 You killed Bertrand Mills? 362 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:10,116 Consider this my full and frank confession. 363 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:15,989 Shall we? 364 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,525 One for the cells, Larry. 365 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,360 What's the charge? 366 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:32,395 Murder of Bertrand Mills. 367 00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,173 - Really? - I confessed. 368 00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,366 Fully and frankly. 369 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,801 Right... Only... 370 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:39,869 What? 371 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,572 He's not the only one. 372 00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,973 He's not the only one what? 373 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,553 To confess to the murder of Bertrand Mills. 374 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,031 Say what you just said to me, Freddie. 375 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:02,001 I killed Bertrand Mills. 376 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:03,826 Told you. 377 00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:07,096 Sorry, so when you said that you didn't do it... 378 00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:10,633 That was a little bit of a fib, to be honest with you. 379 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,402 So now you're telling us... 380 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,304 I did it. 381 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,316 - You did it? - Yup. 382 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,986 I killed Bertrand Mills. 383 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,850 May you dwell this day in peace. 384 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,028 We love you. 385 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:31,331 You can go now. 386 00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,492 Alphy? What are you doing here? 387 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,795 I couldn't sleep. 388 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,166 - It's a big day today. - Had the dream again. 389 00:20:43,176 --> 00:20:46,369 Of course you did. D'you want to know why? 390 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,737 Not really. 391 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,106 But I have a feeling you're going to tell me. 392 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,441 'Cause you haven't asked your ma'am... 393 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:55,521 - Uh, Mira... - Mira, sorry, the big questions. 394 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,159 Who your dad is... 395 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,328 Why she left you... 396 00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,723 You know what, things are good right now. 397 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,534 - They're... - Perfect? 398 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,171 I don't want to ruin it. 399 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:16,275 I just think until you ask her, you'll keep having that dream. 400 00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:20,346 Perfect is the enemy of progress, Alphy. 401 00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,675 You're pretty clever sometimes, you know that? 402 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,644 I won't let it go to my head. 403 00:21:27,654 --> 00:21:29,746 Post mortem came back. 404 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:32,148 Jugular severed, as expected. 405 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,484 Eight puncture wounds as expected. 406 00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:36,686 Anything unexpected? 407 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:38,721 No bruising to his stomach. 408 00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:40,923 We saw him get punched. 409 00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,326 We thought we saw him get punched. 410 00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,762 Well, he was up behind the screen with Gregory. 411 00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:48,341 Unless it wasn't him up behind the screen. 412 00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:53,146 Unless Berts was already dead. 413 00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:10,053 Well, I've never met this man before in my life. 414 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:12,155 I've never even said two words to him. 415 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,191 Had a punch-up though, right? 416 00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,292 - No. - Yes. 417 00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:19,005 - Shut your fat mouth! - Freddie stand up. 418 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:23,109 Lift the front of your shirts up, please. 419 00:22:34,087 --> 00:22:35,344 Did this man punch you? 420 00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,813 - No. - Yes. 421 00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:39,649 Do you want to confer amongst yourselves or... 422 00:22:39,659 --> 00:22:41,718 He set about me. Out of the blue. 423 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,086 You pinched my Betty's bum. 424 00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:46,089 - Who's Betty? - A dirty old man. 425 00:22:46,099 --> 00:22:48,124 You know he was having it away with her. 426 00:22:48,134 --> 00:22:50,359 - With Betty? - No, not with Betty. 427 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,239 - I don't even know who Betty is! - With Miriam. 428 00:22:53,906 --> 00:22:55,164 With Miriam? 429 00:22:55,174 --> 00:22:58,234 I saw 'em together at the garage getting all frisky. 430 00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,280 You and Miriam? Is that true? 431 00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:03,773 Truth is a tricky concept. 432 00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,641 You're a journalist... 433 00:23:05,651 --> 00:23:06,943 He didn't deserve her. 434 00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:09,245 So you dally with his wife and discredit his business 435 00:23:09,250 --> 00:23:10,250 for good measure. 436 00:23:10,256 --> 00:23:13,182 But I did not pinch anyone's hind quadrant. 437 00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,885 - Oh that's something, I suppose. - Which one of you killed Bert? 438 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:17,019 - I did... - Me. 439 00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:19,622 Excuse me. I'm trying to confess... 440 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:20,757 I've already confessed! 441 00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,859 - Enough! - How'd you do it? 442 00:23:22,869 --> 00:23:27,173 If you killed him, what weapon did you use? 443 00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,906 This is a first. Two confessions. 444 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,842 I'm not entirely sure I believe either of them... 445 00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:42,311 Bert did go into the Echo, you know. 446 00:23:42,321 --> 00:23:43,489 Witness saw him. 447 00:23:44,357 --> 00:23:47,426 Why announce his own bloody death? 448 00:23:49,662 --> 00:23:50,897 Now you're nervous. 449 00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,769 - Well, big day. - Oh, I dunno. It's not that big. 450 00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:31,037 So, your mother's first visit. 451 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,173 She'll be so proud. 452 00:24:35,508 --> 00:24:37,800 - Do you think? - Look at you. 453 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,212 How could she not be? 454 00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,853 - Morning. - Morning. 455 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,488 - Morning. - Morning, Vicar. 456 00:24:51,424 --> 00:24:53,059 Is she here yet? 457 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,962 Uh, not yet. 458 00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:58,421 So exciting! 459 00:24:58,431 --> 00:25:00,132 Best behaviour, I promise. 460 00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:06,973 Hello, handsome. 461 00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:08,574 Miriam. 462 00:25:10,276 --> 00:25:11,444 Some thoughts. 463 00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,279 For Bert's eulogy. 464 00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:15,882 When the time comes. 465 00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:18,975 Thank you. 466 00:25:18,985 --> 00:25:22,588 You know, I take it? About Gregory and me? 467 00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,857 Yes. 468 00:25:25,791 --> 00:25:28,261 Got myself in a terrible pickle, haven't I? 469 00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:32,565 It happens to the best of us. 470 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:37,660 Sometimes life throws a little temptation in your path. 471 00:25:37,670 --> 00:25:40,273 A... castle in the air. 472 00:25:41,841 --> 00:25:44,667 It's not always easy to resist. 473 00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,345 Did Bert know? 474 00:25:47,747 --> 00:25:49,548 I expect so. 475 00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:52,285 We both had our dalliances. 476 00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:54,911 It kept things interesting. 477 00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:57,490 Not that we ever spoke of it. 478 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:02,528 Why is it so hard to speak the truth? 479 00:26:16,309 --> 00:26:19,802 ? All Things Bright and Beautiful ? 480 00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:24,874 ? All creatures great and small ? 481 00:26:24,884 --> 00:26:28,811 ? All things wise and wonderful ? 482 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:34,526 ? The Lord God made them all ? 483 00:26:44,236 --> 00:26:48,264 I was going to talk today about reunions but... 484 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:50,967 But I'm thinking perhaps we'll turn to the teachings 485 00:26:50,977 --> 00:26:52,835 of Proverbs... 486 00:26:52,845 --> 00:26:54,647 When... 487 00:26:58,484 --> 00:26:59,952 Sorry! 488 00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:11,120 Whenever I need guidance, 489 00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:14,300 Proverbs always seems to have the answers. 490 00:27:15,701 --> 00:27:18,537 Sometimes you have to wait a little longer for them, but... 491 00:27:20,039 --> 00:27:21,374 they'll always appear... 492 00:27:22,608 --> 00:27:24,010 when the moment is right. 493 00:27:32,585 --> 00:27:33,909 - Mira. - Alphy. 494 00:27:33,919 --> 00:27:36,879 I didn't know what to bring, so... 495 00:27:36,889 --> 00:27:39,648 Oh! Silly, really. 496 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,151 No, no, no. They're lovely. 497 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:43,486 Thank you. 498 00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:44,662 Look at you. 499 00:27:46,098 --> 00:27:47,790 Yeah. Well, what do you think? 500 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,468 Give me a twirl. 501 00:27:52,805 --> 00:27:54,540 So handsome. 502 00:28:00,279 --> 00:28:02,805 I could listen to you talk for hours. 503 00:28:02,815 --> 00:28:04,006 Oh, I'm not sure 504 00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:06,242 everyone here would agree with you. 505 00:28:06,252 --> 00:28:08,320 Well, I think you're wonderful. 506 00:28:11,657 --> 00:28:13,115 Come and meet my friends. 507 00:28:13,125 --> 00:28:14,560 Oh, okay. 508 00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:18,954 Everyone, this is Mira. 509 00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:21,991 Uh, Mira, this is everyone. 510 00:28:22,001 --> 00:28:24,060 Hello, Mira. 511 00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:27,596 Hello. My! There are a lot of you. 512 00:28:27,606 --> 00:28:30,266 Such a beautiful name "Mira". 513 00:28:30,276 --> 00:28:31,934 Oh, thank you. 514 00:28:31,944 --> 00:28:34,637 Er, this is Jack and Mrs C. 515 00:28:34,647 --> 00:28:36,305 Such a lovely name. 516 00:28:36,315 --> 00:28:37,316 So exotic. 517 00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:40,276 - This is Leonard. - I can see it. 518 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:41,510 I think. 519 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,522 I can see the resemblance. 520 00:28:45,357 --> 00:28:47,183 And... and this is my friend Daniel. 521 00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:49,852 I see it, too. It's the cheekbones. 522 00:28:49,862 --> 00:28:52,555 And finally, Cathy and George. 523 00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:54,500 Everyone calls me Geordie. 524 00:28:55,568 --> 00:28:57,103 Even me. 525 00:29:00,005 --> 00:29:02,731 I'm so sorry. I've already forgotten everyone's names. 526 00:29:02,741 --> 00:29:05,311 Oh, not to worry. Plenty of time for that. 527 00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:09,048 And how do you all know each other? 528 00:29:10,382 --> 00:29:11,383 I'm a policeman. 529 00:29:12,384 --> 00:29:13,552 A policeman friend. 530 00:29:14,587 --> 00:29:17,923 I used to be in the church... until I wasn't. 531 00:29:18,624 --> 00:29:19,625 It's a long story. 532 00:29:20,693 --> 00:29:21,927 I'm just a hanger on. 533 00:29:22,695 --> 00:29:24,887 I lived out in India for a while 534 00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:26,132 at the time of the Raj. 535 00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:29,902 Erm, I expect you're too young to remember. 536 00:29:30,636 --> 00:29:32,461 Look at the pair of you. 537 00:29:32,471 --> 00:29:33,796 Look at them. 538 00:29:33,806 --> 00:29:35,965 Oh, dear. She's going to cry. 539 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:37,867 I just find it terribly moving. 540 00:29:37,877 --> 00:29:42,081 Mother and son... together at last 541 00:29:49,288 --> 00:29:51,457 - Here we are. - Marvellous. 542 00:29:53,726 --> 00:29:55,895 Perhaps Mira would like to say grace. 543 00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:03,903 For what we are about to receive... 544 00:30:04,904 --> 00:30:07,129 may the Lord make us truly thankful. 545 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:09,341 - Amen. - Amen. 546 00:30:16,549 --> 00:30:20,219 So, Mira, where have you been all this time? 547 00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:24,313 Sylvia! 548 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:27,750 Well, I mean, as in, where have you been living? 549 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,985 A little village in Essex. 550 00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:31,453 How lovely. 551 00:30:31,463 --> 00:30:36,792 Lovely might be stretching it, but it does quite well for me. 552 00:30:36,802 --> 00:30:38,227 "Where have you been all this time"! 553 00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:40,229 I didn't mean it like that. 554 00:30:40,239 --> 00:30:42,498 - We're working on her manners. - I don't mind. 555 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:45,434 When have my manners been anything other than impeccable? 556 00:30:45,444 --> 00:30:48,437 At CeCe's... when I'm trying to do the accounts. 557 00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,272 "Trying" being the operative word. 558 00:30:50,282 --> 00:30:54,043 - Uh, lamb, Mira? - Oh. No, no. No, thank you. 559 00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:56,478 - Not for me. - Oh, you don't like it? 560 00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:59,381 Oh, no, no. It's just... I don't eat meat. 561 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,016 You don't eat meat? 562 00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:03,419 Religious reasons. 563 00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:05,821 I'm so sorry, Mira, I didn't think... 564 00:31:05,831 --> 00:31:07,089 No, it's... it's fine, honestly. 565 00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:08,991 - I can get you something else. - No, I'm very happy 566 00:31:09,001 --> 00:31:12,171 with... these beautiful potatoes. 567 00:31:13,839 --> 00:31:15,074 All right. 568 00:31:17,910 --> 00:31:19,602 How did you like the church, Mira? 569 00:31:19,612 --> 00:31:21,303 - Oh, it's stunning. - Isn't it? 570 00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:23,939 It's one of my favourite places in the whole world. 571 00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:25,841 And what about our Alphy here? 572 00:31:25,851 --> 00:31:27,676 Wasn't he marvellous up there? 573 00:31:27,686 --> 00:31:29,144 How does he remember all those words? 574 00:31:29,154 --> 00:31:31,914 I don't know where he keeps them all. 575 00:31:31,924 --> 00:31:33,092 Well... 576 00:31:33,993 --> 00:31:37,453 - Do you live alone, Mira? - I do, yes. 577 00:31:37,463 --> 00:31:39,255 No family? 578 00:31:39,265 --> 00:31:40,556 No, no family. 579 00:31:40,566 --> 00:31:42,691 Oh, what a shame! 580 00:31:42,701 --> 00:31:44,426 It might not be a shame. 581 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:46,195 She might like to live on her own. 582 00:31:46,205 --> 00:31:48,998 Do you like to live on your own? 583 00:31:49,008 --> 00:31:52,101 I... enjoy my own company, 584 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:54,713 and I have a very grumpy cat. So... 585 00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:57,416 What is it you do, Mira? 586 00:31:58,150 --> 00:31:59,975 I work in a school. 587 00:31:59,985 --> 00:32:01,310 A teacher, of course. 588 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,412 I knew you got that cleverness from somewhere. 589 00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:05,381 Not a teacher. 590 00:32:05,391 --> 00:32:07,049 I'm just... 591 00:32:07,059 --> 00:32:09,418 I'm in the office. Secretary. 592 00:32:09,428 --> 00:32:13,289 Uh, so not interesting, honestly. 593 00:32:13,299 --> 00:32:15,234 What about his father? What did he do? 594 00:32:15,768 --> 00:32:16,969 Mrs C! 595 00:32:19,371 --> 00:32:22,041 Sorry, uh... Do you mind, I... 596 00:32:22,908 --> 00:32:24,900 - No, no, of course not. - Excuse me. 597 00:32:24,910 --> 00:32:26,312 I just need some air. 598 00:32:31,417 --> 00:32:33,285 I didn't mean to pry. 599 00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:35,954 It's fine. Don't worry. It's, erm... 600 00:32:37,156 --> 00:32:39,325 Well, it's all going really well, don't you think? 601 00:32:47,466 --> 00:32:48,657 Poor boy. 602 00:32:48,667 --> 00:32:50,468 She's gonna break his heart. 603 00:33:05,851 --> 00:33:07,619 They can be a bit much sometimes. 604 00:33:08,554 --> 00:33:09,688 No, no. 605 00:33:10,756 --> 00:33:12,815 I like them very much. 606 00:33:12,825 --> 00:33:16,328 I'm... I'm glad you have such nice friends. 607 00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:19,264 They're more like family, really. 608 00:33:23,102 --> 00:33:28,197 I... I used to try and imagine where you might be, 609 00:33:28,207 --> 00:33:30,642 what you might be doing with your life. 610 00:33:32,411 --> 00:33:33,712 - Not this? - God, no. 611 00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:36,405 I'm so sorry. 612 00:33:36,415 --> 00:33:38,907 - I'm blaspheming now. - Don't worry, I've... 613 00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:41,320 I've heard a lot worse. 614 00:33:44,089 --> 00:33:45,958 Are you happy here? 615 00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:50,162 Very. 616 00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:52,564 That's all I ever wanted. 617 00:33:54,767 --> 00:33:57,369 I wasn't at first, but... 618 00:33:58,404 --> 00:34:00,305 God brought me here for a reason. 619 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,109 It was His will that brought me here. 620 00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:06,735 Does that sound crazy? 621 00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:07,946 No. 622 00:34:09,448 --> 00:34:11,216 A little, yes. 623 00:34:12,918 --> 00:34:16,021 It's... it's not what I'm used to, I suppose. 624 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:20,058 Saying grace, singing hymns. 625 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,985 It's... 626 00:34:22,995 --> 00:34:25,354 - also very... - British? 627 00:34:25,364 --> 00:34:27,299 White. 628 00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,272 This bloody thing. 629 00:34:39,077 --> 00:34:40,869 You didn't have to dress up for me. 630 00:34:40,879 --> 00:34:42,114 Of course I did. 631 00:34:42,815 --> 00:34:44,840 I wanted everything to be... 632 00:34:44,850 --> 00:34:46,108 Perfect? 633 00:34:46,118 --> 00:34:50,212 Silly fools, aren't we, the pair of us? 634 00:34:50,222 --> 00:34:53,248 £2 a pop for a skirt is a decent amount. 635 00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:55,451 Not per inch of fabric, it's not. 636 00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:58,854 The hemline is nothing short of demonic. 637 00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:00,532 Just inch time for spotted dick. 638 00:35:03,035 --> 00:35:05,093 Spotted dick. 639 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:07,673 And an uncomfortable spat about the account. 640 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,675 So, how's it going? 641 00:35:12,144 --> 00:35:14,069 Well, there's so much I want to say and... 642 00:35:14,079 --> 00:35:16,371 And you're worried it's all going to fall apart. 643 00:35:16,381 --> 00:35:18,006 But here's the thing. What if it doesn't? 644 00:35:18,016 --> 00:35:19,975 What if everything that's unsaid 645 00:35:19,985 --> 00:35:21,610 is brought to the light? 646 00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:24,913 And in that light, something beautiful grows. 647 00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:27,182 - Are you drunk? - A little bit, yeah. 648 00:35:27,192 --> 00:35:29,017 Knees are not meant to be seen. 649 00:35:29,027 --> 00:35:31,320 Cathy Keating, knees are impolite. 650 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:33,922 Well, how's this for impolite? 651 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:37,192 And I'm gonna have to be a whole lot drunker 652 00:35:37,202 --> 00:35:38,971 to get through this. 653 00:35:42,407 --> 00:35:43,942 Geordie... 654 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,082 Well, bugger me. 655 00:36:01,126 --> 00:36:02,684 What does that look like to you? 656 00:36:02,694 --> 00:36:04,596 Vampire bite. 657 00:36:11,937 --> 00:36:14,206 Miriam's notes for Bert's eulogy. 658 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,742 They got married on the 14th of June... 659 00:36:18,310 --> 00:36:19,701 1923. 660 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:20,936 The notice in the paper 661 00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:22,671 was dated the 14th of June? 662 00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,506 It was their wedding anniversary. 663 00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:25,774 Forty years to the day. 664 00:36:25,784 --> 00:36:29,288 The very day he pops his clogs. 665 00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:31,990 Forty years of marriage. 666 00:36:32,758 --> 00:36:34,126 It's quite a feat. 667 00:36:35,827 --> 00:36:37,062 Were you happy? 668 00:36:38,163 --> 00:36:39,765 We were most of the time. 669 00:36:41,066 --> 00:36:43,592 I doubt any married couple could say more than that. 670 00:36:43,602 --> 00:36:45,404 1923. 671 00:36:46,171 --> 00:36:48,196 You marry Bertrand Mills. 672 00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:52,334 Thirty nine years and 364 days later, 673 00:36:52,344 --> 00:36:55,237 Bert placed an advert in the Cambridge Echo. 674 00:36:55,247 --> 00:36:56,972 This is for tomorrow's edition. 675 00:36:56,982 --> 00:36:59,017 Sorry, can I stop you there? 676 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:02,778 Why on earth would Bert announce 677 00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,613 his own death in the paper? 678 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:05,781 He didn't. 679 00:37:05,791 --> 00:37:08,283 Well, at least he didn't know he was. 680 00:37:08,293 --> 00:37:10,953 He thought he was announcing his love for you. 681 00:37:10,963 --> 00:37:13,855 "Happy 40th anniversary, darling." 682 00:37:13,865 --> 00:37:15,924 Something of that ilk. 683 00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:18,193 But you swapped the notice, didn't you? 684 00:37:18,203 --> 00:37:21,406 You're so jealous of Bert's proclamations of love. 685 00:37:23,008 --> 00:37:26,301 You replaced them with a death threat. 686 00:37:26,311 --> 00:37:29,438 I never had any intention of harming him. 687 00:37:29,448 --> 00:37:31,840 I never thought Miriam did either. 688 00:37:31,850 --> 00:37:33,609 But you confessed. 689 00:37:33,619 --> 00:37:34,910 I was covering for her. 690 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,755 But I didn't hurt him. 691 00:37:37,723 --> 00:37:39,247 I'm a writer. 692 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,416 Writers don't do things. 693 00:37:41,426 --> 00:37:44,152 - It was all just... - A fantasy. 694 00:37:44,162 --> 00:37:45,731 I wouldn't go that far. 695 00:37:46,665 --> 00:37:48,624 Miriam loved me. 696 00:37:48,634 --> 00:37:50,225 Did you love Gregory? 697 00:37:50,235 --> 00:37:51,436 Oh God, no. 698 00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:54,329 it was just sex. 699 00:37:54,339 --> 00:37:56,465 When you've been married for four decades, 700 00:37:56,475 --> 00:38:00,078 sometimes you need to create a little fantasy. 701 00:38:02,347 --> 00:38:05,574 Bert had affairs, too, you said? 702 00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,943 Oh, countless, I'm sure. 703 00:38:07,953 --> 00:38:09,678 But we had rules. 704 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:13,215 No names and no breakfasts. 705 00:38:13,225 --> 00:38:15,017 Gives you quite the motive. 706 00:38:15,027 --> 00:38:16,785 Philandering, husband. 707 00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:18,320 We loved each other. 708 00:38:18,330 --> 00:38:20,465 I wouldn't expect you to understand. 709 00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:27,539 Did Bert give you this? 710 00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:32,144 Ruby. For our 40th year. 711 00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:37,039 You were never going to leave him, were you? 712 00:38:37,049 --> 00:38:39,107 Of course not. 713 00:38:39,117 --> 00:38:41,687 And he was never going to leave you. 714 00:38:43,121 --> 00:38:46,448 If you could remove your hairpin, please, Mrs Mills. 715 00:38:46,458 --> 00:38:47,382 My hairpin? 716 00:38:47,392 --> 00:38:49,518 We've got officers at your house now 717 00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:51,319 searching the place. 718 00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:54,389 But I suspect you've kept the weapon close. 719 00:38:54,399 --> 00:38:58,427 Let me make this as explicit as I possibly can. 720 00:38:58,437 --> 00:39:00,328 I loved my husband. 721 00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:03,598 I did not kill him with a hairpin. 722 00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:05,010 I know. 723 00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:08,370 - Really? - Really? 724 00:39:08,380 --> 00:39:09,571 So who did it? 725 00:39:09,581 --> 00:39:11,750 That was going to be my next question. 726 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:13,975 It was a fantasy. 727 00:39:13,985 --> 00:39:16,044 All of it, their entire relationship. 728 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,757 He bought into it hook, line and sinker. 729 00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:21,993 He'd do anything for her. 730 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,129 - Gregory? - Freddie. 731 00:39:25,564 --> 00:39:26,598 Freddie? 732 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,525 Freddie. Christ on a bike. Of course. 733 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,194 Gregory confessed because he thought 734 00:39:32,204 --> 00:39:33,295 he was protecting Miriam. 735 00:39:33,305 --> 00:39:34,796 And Freddie confessed because he thought 736 00:39:34,806 --> 00:39:35,864 - he was protecting... - Not Miriam. 737 00:39:35,874 --> 00:39:37,609 Not Miriam, no. 738 00:39:38,844 --> 00:39:40,278 He was protecting Betty. 739 00:39:53,358 --> 00:39:55,761 Betty told me she'd spilled ketchup. 740 00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:17,415 That's not ketchup. 741 00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,151 If she makes a run for it, we won't stand a chance. 742 00:40:29,161 --> 00:40:30,629 She won't run. 743 00:40:37,269 --> 00:40:39,127 - Betty! - Don't worry. 744 00:40:39,137 --> 00:40:40,372 She won't get far. 745 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:43,375 Whoa! 746 00:40:46,511 --> 00:40:47,546 I didn't do it. 747 00:40:53,485 --> 00:40:55,110 Yeah. 748 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,546 It's a tale as old as time, Betty. 749 00:40:57,556 --> 00:40:58,623 Jealousy? 750 00:40:59,524 --> 00:41:01,216 Who's supposed to be jealous of who? 751 00:41:01,226 --> 00:41:02,217 Whom. 752 00:41:02,227 --> 00:41:04,186 Whom is jealous of whom, then? 753 00:41:04,196 --> 00:41:06,030 You are, of Miriam. 754 00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:08,690 That old trout? 755 00:41:08,700 --> 00:41:11,770 - Nothing to be jealous of. - Apart from her husband. 756 00:41:13,305 --> 00:41:15,273 You were having an affair... 757 00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,666 with Bert... 758 00:41:17,676 --> 00:41:19,311 No. 759 00:41:21,279 --> 00:41:23,104 - Shut up. - Mr and Mrs Mills 760 00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:27,475 were nothing if not generous with their affection. 761 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:30,412 What did you think, Betty? That he'd leave his wife? 762 00:41:30,422 --> 00:41:32,390 You'd lived happily ever after? 763 00:41:34,593 --> 00:41:35,594 Then you saw the ring. 764 00:41:36,261 --> 00:41:38,129 You are naughty. 765 00:41:39,097 --> 00:41:40,188 I love my Freddie. 766 00:41:40,198 --> 00:41:42,601 Well, he loved you, that's for sure. 767 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,104 He'd do anything for you. 768 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:49,965 Oi, Fred. 769 00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:51,710 That fella just pinched my bum. 770 00:41:53,311 --> 00:41:54,713 No one touches my girl. 771 00:41:56,481 --> 00:41:59,374 Miriam thought it was Bert up there fighting. 772 00:41:59,384 --> 00:42:00,475 Bert, come away. 773 00:42:00,485 --> 00:42:02,911 So why would we assume any different? 774 00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:05,547 You were creating a distraction. 775 00:42:05,557 --> 00:42:08,016 While Freddie fought with Gregory, 776 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,628 you went and found Bert. 777 00:42:11,496 --> 00:42:13,722 - There she is. - You said you loved me. 778 00:42:13,732 --> 00:42:15,857 I do. Of course I do. 779 00:42:15,867 --> 00:42:17,425 You said you'd leave her. 780 00:42:17,435 --> 00:42:20,328 She's my wife, you silly girl. 781 00:42:20,338 --> 00:42:21,963 Now, let's have a look, see what's under 782 00:42:21,973 --> 00:42:24,009 this little uniform of yours. 783 00:42:33,818 --> 00:42:36,244 Please, please, you have to help me. 784 00:42:36,254 --> 00:42:38,757 Then you told Freddie you'd done a terrible thing. 785 00:42:46,464 --> 00:42:49,034 Then you left him to take the blame. 786 00:42:58,009 --> 00:43:00,445 Oopsy. Silly me. 787 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,480 How did I get Freddie to do everything that I asked of him? 788 00:43:12,490 --> 00:43:15,750 You were his dream girl, his fantasy. 789 00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,252 You make him sound like an idiot. 790 00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:18,820 He is. 791 00:43:18,830 --> 00:43:20,388 Slave to his loins. 792 00:43:20,398 --> 00:43:22,757 In his eyes, you were perfect. 793 00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:27,172 He was so blinded by you, he couldn't face the truth. 794 00:43:27,906 --> 00:43:29,074 Which is what? 795 00:43:31,009 --> 00:43:33,335 That I'm like old blondie in that film? 796 00:43:33,345 --> 00:43:35,036 Which was rubbish, by the way. 797 00:43:35,046 --> 00:43:37,272 Wiggle her bum, bat her eyelashes. 798 00:43:37,282 --> 00:43:39,174 Fellas fall at her feet. 799 00:43:39,184 --> 00:43:40,618 You think you're special, Betty? 800 00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,879 I've been in this job longer than I care to mention. 801 00:43:44,889 --> 00:43:46,491 You're not special. 802 00:43:47,092 --> 00:43:48,460 You're ten a penny. 803 00:43:49,427 --> 00:43:52,020 Bert was never going to leave his wife. 804 00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:54,122 It was make believe. 805 00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:56,124 Ruined your life because you were too scared 806 00:43:56,134 --> 00:43:58,068 to face up to the truth. 807 00:44:13,885 --> 00:44:16,044 Life is one big risk. 808 00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:20,148 With every risk you take, good things can happen. 809 00:44:20,158 --> 00:44:21,416 I think it's just not... 810 00:44:21,426 --> 00:44:23,084 It's not that far, is it? 811 00:44:23,094 --> 00:44:24,362 Ladies. 812 00:44:25,296 --> 00:44:26,888 Your new accountant. 813 00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:29,991 How do you do? 814 00:44:30,001 --> 00:44:31,836 Doors can open. 815 00:44:33,238 --> 00:44:35,774 Thank you. Thank you for letting me know. 816 00:44:40,779 --> 00:44:44,205 The gentleman I was expecting at the halfway house. 817 00:44:44,215 --> 00:44:47,208 He left prison, got on the bus, 818 00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:48,586 robbed the driver. 819 00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:50,779 He's back inside. 820 00:44:50,789 --> 00:44:52,390 That's good. 821 00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:54,392 Not for him, obviously. 822 00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,229 Nice for you to have a bit of free time for once. 823 00:45:00,565 --> 00:45:02,791 But if you take no risks, 824 00:45:02,801 --> 00:45:04,092 you get nowhere. 825 00:45:04,102 --> 00:45:05,427 You're stuck. 826 00:45:05,437 --> 00:45:06,538 You're lost. 827 00:45:07,939 --> 00:45:10,075 Not going forward. Not going back. 828 00:45:12,911 --> 00:45:15,413 To live, you have to be foolhardy. 829 00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:18,173 You have to be bold. 830 00:45:18,183 --> 00:45:20,218 The game is a metaphor, you see... 831 00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:22,287 for life. 832 00:45:23,988 --> 00:45:26,124 I really wish I hadn't given up drinking. 833 00:45:37,802 --> 00:45:39,828 Mira, you waited. 834 00:45:39,838 --> 00:45:41,796 Thank you for a wonderful lunch. 835 00:45:41,806 --> 00:45:44,065 Shame it was entirely potatoes. 836 00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,578 Oh, I loved it. I did. 837 00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,773 We'll do it again soon, shall we? 838 00:45:51,783 --> 00:45:55,186 Maybe we can go for a walk along the river next time? 839 00:45:59,290 --> 00:46:01,125 Why didn't you want me? 840 00:46:05,830 --> 00:46:08,633 I was 15, the boy was 16. 841 00:46:10,001 --> 00:46:11,693 What was his name? 842 00:46:11,703 --> 00:46:13,171 It's not important. 843 00:46:16,808 --> 00:46:18,042 It is. 844 00:46:19,711 --> 00:46:21,045 It is to me. 845 00:46:23,014 --> 00:46:24,205 Jai. 846 00:46:24,215 --> 00:46:26,651 I never knew his last name. 847 00:46:28,853 --> 00:46:30,088 Did you love him? 848 00:46:30,622 --> 00:46:32,480 We were kids, Alphy. 849 00:46:32,490 --> 00:46:34,526 We didn't know what love was. 850 00:46:35,860 --> 00:46:37,252 Do you know where he is now? 851 00:46:37,262 --> 00:46:38,796 No. 852 00:46:40,765 --> 00:46:42,490 So there's... 853 00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,435 there's no way I could find him? 854 00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:47,472 When he... 855 00:46:49,007 --> 00:46:50,375 found out about you... 856 00:46:53,077 --> 00:46:54,746 I never saw him again. 857 00:46:56,681 --> 00:46:58,216 Did you tell anyone else 858 00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,685 - you were having me? - No. 859 00:47:03,288 --> 00:47:04,322 Why not? 860 00:47:05,456 --> 00:47:06,591 Shame. 861 00:47:07,859 --> 00:47:09,751 I was ashamed. 862 00:47:09,761 --> 00:47:13,565 My mother knew, I think. She didn't say as much, but... 863 00:47:15,266 --> 00:47:18,436 the look on her face, the disgust... 864 00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:25,376 And when the time came, it was night. 865 00:47:26,611 --> 00:47:28,513 I was alone in my room. 866 00:47:30,348 --> 00:47:32,240 I... I couldn't scream. 867 00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,508 I... I couldn't cry out 868 00:47:33,518 --> 00:47:35,420 for fear my parents might hear me. 869 00:47:37,088 --> 00:47:39,791 It was the loneliest moment of my life. 870 00:47:41,125 --> 00:47:43,595 I tucked you in a blanket. 871 00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:47,055 I... 872 00:47:47,065 --> 00:47:48,366 I wrote you a letter. 873 00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:50,735 I don't suppose you got it. 874 00:47:52,437 --> 00:47:54,405 "Even though we will no longer be together... 875 00:47:57,108 --> 00:47:58,343 "I will think of you 876 00:47:59,344 --> 00:48:00,868 "every day until I die." 877 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,180 And I did. 878 00:48:03,615 --> 00:48:04,682 I do. 879 00:48:06,217 --> 00:48:07,652 Every day. 880 00:48:10,021 --> 00:48:11,322 Thinking of someone... 881 00:48:12,390 --> 00:48:16,060 is not the same as being there, Mira. 882 00:48:20,598 --> 00:48:22,467 Why the foundling home? 883 00:48:24,802 --> 00:48:25,837 Why there? 884 00:48:26,971 --> 00:48:28,538 They were Christians. 885 00:48:30,341 --> 00:48:34,102 No one knew me there, no one from my community. 886 00:48:34,112 --> 00:48:36,114 You didn't want to be found. 887 00:48:37,081 --> 00:48:38,283 I... 888 00:48:40,652 --> 00:48:43,421 I hoped an Indian family might adopt you. 889 00:48:44,322 --> 00:48:46,214 That... 890 00:48:46,224 --> 00:48:48,493 you would find a place where you belonged. 891 00:48:49,727 --> 00:48:50,728 I have. 892 00:48:53,531 --> 00:48:55,366 I belong here. 893 00:48:57,535 --> 00:48:58,603 I thought... 894 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,064 I thought this was what you wanted for me. 895 00:49:03,074 --> 00:49:04,599 I... I thought where you left me, 896 00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:05,710 it had some kind of... 897 00:49:06,844 --> 00:49:09,280 some kind of meaning to it. 898 00:49:12,383 --> 00:49:16,254 It was the closest doorstep on a cold night. 899 00:49:18,956 --> 00:49:20,792 There was no more meaning than that? 900 00:49:22,226 --> 00:49:23,528 I'm so sorry. 901 00:49:40,845 --> 00:49:46,845 *CREDITS*