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Three times I had written to Mr Hayward,
and each time the letter was returned
marked "forwarding address unknown."
_
There was so much that I wished to say to him,
but it was not to be.
No matter. I would not wallow.
I had navigated difficulty before,
and I would use my experiences
to find my place in London
and prove I could build a life here,
not only to myself, but also to...
Mama.
Here she is.
I didn't know you were...
- Sorry, what are you doing here? - Your mother has come to stay.
For a short time.
Lizzy's physician advised
I come to London to see Dr Simmons,
who is a great authority on nervous complaints.
Well, sit!
Mr Darcy has been most insistent,
urging me to think of myself and not hurry back to Pemberley
until I have been properly attended to.
Now, Mary,
I have decided to forgive your actions at Pemberley,
and to offer you my assistance one last time.
While I am here...
I intend to finish what I began
and find suitable matches for all my daughters.
Please, Mama, really.
Four out of five must be considered a great triumph.
A great triumph indeed.
Mary has plenty in London to occupy her time.
There is no better use of Mary's time
than finding a match.
Please, Mother, really,
I'm very happy as I am.
I understand your shame, Mary,
in the way that you have behaved towards me.
But nevertheless, you cannot override
my natural kindness and my motherly instinct.
I have arranged for you to meet several suitors.
_
Is it too much to ask you to make even the slightest effort
with just one of these gentlemen?
Mary has made good connections.
And do good connections provide for you
- for the rest of your life? - And she is welcome here.
- Yes, for now. - For as long as she wants.
- Enter! - Come in.
A visitor for Miss Bennet.
Mr Ryder is here.
Mr Ryder?
- Well, show him in. - Please show him in.
Thank you.
Mr Ryder, how wonderful to see you.
Mrs Bennet, Mrs Gardiner,
Miss Bennet.
And to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?
Yes, excuse me dropping in unannounced, I...
wondered whether I might speak with Miss Bennet.
Of course.
In private.
Miss Bennet,
I'm most relieved to see you looking so well after...
- Thank you. - Yeah.
I was sorry not to be able to say goodbye to you at the Lakes.
Once I knew you were being taken care of,
I felt it my duty to accompany Miss Bingley
back to London to see a physician.
- I understand. - But I was
kept informed of your recovery.
Miss Bennet, I...
I wanted to sincerely
apologise for what happened.
I played my own part in proceedings.
No, no, I was entirely to blame.
I put you and Miss Bingley in grave danger.
I'm full of regret.
Really, think no more of it.
Though it did not end well...
overall, I look back at my time in the Lakes very fondly.
It was never my intention
to intrude on your time there,
but... I needed Mr Hayward's help.
You see...
Lady Catherine de Bourgh unexpectedly
named me as her heir.
Yeah.
I informed Mr Hayward of my change in fortune,
and told him...
of my intention to propose to you that very afternoon.
I see.
He knew what I could offer you, and...
he gave me his blessing.
He did?
Miss Bennet, I wanted to renew
our conversation from the Lakes.
Of course.
Of course, Mr Ryder, please,
please sit.
I've never met anyone that makes me think like you do.
Who makes me see the world
as you do.
I've certainly never met anyone who speaks as plainly as you,
and I admire that greatly.
It's very kind.
Although there is something of
a gulf between my ideals and the world we live in...
I like to think that...
you and I could carve out an interesting existence...
together.
I shall now do what I should have done
weeks ago and ask...
Miss Bennet...
would you consider
accepting my hand in marriage?
Mr Ryder.
My answer must, of course, be...
that I do not love you.
Could it be that you... you might...
grow to love me?
Not in the way that you...
deserve to be loved.
Your friendship has...
has taught me so much about myself,
and for that I shall always be grateful.
But I don't believe...
I would ever have made you happy.
You should follow your heart.
Go to Italy
and seize everything it has to offer.
I see.
You will find happiness, Mr Ryder.
True happiness.
I do not doubt it.
It was a...
pleasure to see you looking so well.
Pleasure to see you looking so...
dry.
Goodbye, Miss Bennet.
Bye.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Mother.
I should leave.
- No. Please, stay there. - Mother!
Mr Ryder, you may go.
What have you done?
I need some air.
Mary.
Mary!
Miss Bennet.
Mr Sparrow!
- Is everything quite all right? - No. Yes.
The... the city smoke is particularly heavy today,
and it just seems to have...
May I?
Thank you.
I hope they are still serving you well.
They really are.
Tell me, what... what brings you to London?
I graduated from Moorfields two weeks ago.
So you're a doctor.
Just as you said you would be.
Congratulations, Mr Sparrow.
I always thought you'd end up studying somewhere, somehow.
I would like to be a governess...
to an older girl, perhaps.
I think I'd enjoy teaching petrology and geology and...
Your specialisms.
Perhaps one day you could tutor my daughter.
- You have a child? - She is one.
Then perhaps I will. Yes.
No, I've not really looked too far into it as yet.
I think my mother will not approve.
If I remember rightly,
you and your mother always had very different ideas about life,
about reading, about the wearing of spectacles.
And about...
potential matches.
If I may be so bold.
If you have always struggled to please your mother,
why do you keep trying?
As long as you know what you want,
perhaps it is time to stop worrying what she thinks.
Our happiness is in our own hands.
Absolutely.
I truly believe it is.
It has been a pleasure to see you again.
I must be getting back.
Goodbye, Mr Sparrow.
I'm very, very glad to have run into you today.
Mary,
what on earth are you thinking?
Mother, I'm sorry to disappoint you,
again,
but I will not be marrying Mr Ryder.
Nonsense!
Call him back and tell him you were mistaken.
No, I will not do that.
Have you no consideration for my nerves?
I've never wanted to cause you any trouble.
You have caused me nothing but trouble
since the day you were born.
Yes, I am aware that is so.
I am trying to help you.
I do not want you to be looked down upon.
Looked down upon by whom?
Mary, please call Mr Ryder back
- and accept his offer. - I do not love him!
Mama, I've not waited all this time
just to marry a man I do not love.
You would have once agreed to marry Mr Collins.
- Did you love him? - No, I didn't. No.
At the time I thought...
I thought I was helping our family remain at Longbourn.
And now there is a handsome, wealthy man
willing to overlook your shortcomings,
and you have turned him away!
- Because I have changed! - Well, change back again!
Charlotte once told me
that my options were marriage or misery.
But I have seen many miserable marriages.
And meanwhile,
I've experienced much joy in life
on my own.
What will you do without a husband?
How will you survive?
- I will work as a governess. - Outside the family?
Yes. I will take on an older pupil
and I will teach a more nuanced, detailed education,
working to a higher level on a specific set of...
Why do you insist on torturing me?
It has always been my intention to please you.
I'm very sad
that I have never been able to make you proud of me.
That I was never able to match my sisters
in your esteem.
I'm sorry.
You have no idea what it has been like for me.
I had five daughters. Five daughters.
All of whom I knew must marry well
in order to survive.
And there was nobody to make that happen except me.
Your father never had to think about it.
And he never raised a finger to help.
In fact,
any attempts I made to discuss your futures
seemed only to rile him.
I was quite alone.
You and I
always have been very different creatures.
And it is likely we always shall be.
It doesn't seem fair that you weren't helped in your efforts.
But...
you did it.
We are all settled
in our different ways.
I have chosen my path
and I am happy with it.
I did not want you to be left behind.
Goodbye, Mother.
Send our love to Lizzy.
Goodbye, Jane.
Mary, I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen anyone
stand up to your mother as successfully as you did.
- Really? - It was very impressive.
I don't mind that I'll never marry.
I'm only sad that without a home of my own
I shall never get to choose my own wallpaper.
You can always choose some for your room,
Mary, if you like.
Do you think I've done the wrong thing...
in not marrying Mr Ryder?
Not at all, Mary.
I've learnt a great deal from him.
He's a man that finds joy in life,
and there's much to be admired about him.
But you do not love him.
No.
You love someone else.
Where has he gone?
I wish I knew.
Thank you.
Miss Bennet,
there is a visitor to see you in the drawing room.
Miss Bingley.
Miss Bennet, I...
wanted to thank you
for what you did on the mountain.
You could have left me there,
and... you didn't.
I think it is plain to see that I...
have a great fondness for Mr Ryder...
and I have come to ask that you...
leave him alone.
Miss Bingley,
you are much better suited to Mr Ryder than I am.
- You don't mean that. - I do.
I do, Mr Ryder is...
he's a dear friend,
but he and I, we were never a match.
The truth is...
it was always Mr Hayward for me.
But it is not to be.
Really?
Tom Hayward?
Surely, he is attainable.
It seems not.
He's disappeared.
Well, well.
Perhaps I shall call for you sometime, Miss Bennet.
Yes, we could... We could read poetry together.
- Goodbye, Miss Bennet. - Goodbye, Miss Bingley.
_
And so it was that I carved out my own path.
I stayed in London and became a governess.
Today, we're going to talk about...
Over time,
I worried a little less about the approval of others.
And though the life I had chosen was different to that of my sisters,
I had a wealth of experience to be proud of.
I had found a family I loved very much.
I was happy in the life I had chosen,
and I knew that I was
good enough.
Though one can always be just a little happier, I suppose.
Miss Bennet!
Mr Hayward.
Mrs Gardiner said I might find you here.
- Miss Bennet, I... - Where have you been?
Yorkshire.
What do you mean, Yorkshire?
You can't just say Yorkshire!
As if Yorkshire is an entirely reasonable explanation
for your very sudden and somewhat lengthy disappearance!
- After what you said... - I'm sorry, Mary.
Please, please let me explain.
Well, you're here now...
Mr Hayward. Do go on.
When we were in the Lakes...
the legal matter that Mr Ryder asked me
to attend to was his inheriting.
The fortune of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
And I knew quite clearly from Ryder's incredibly irritating behaviour
that he had a liking for you.
As I also had.
As I also have.
It is such a liking, in fact,
that when I learned of Mr Ryder's good fortune
and his plan to make you an offer of marriage, I thought...
I thought it in your best interest that I graciously step aside.
Nevertheless, my actions in the mountains...
You thought it in my best interests
to graciously step aside?
So your disappearance
was, in fact, you being gracious to me?
- Miss...! - You and Mr Ryder
between you thought that you would just decide on my fate
and I would just accept it?
Like I'm a... Like I'm a... grateful cat?
If you put it like that, it does not sound good.
Why didn't you just ask me what I thought?
- I was reading between the lines. - There were no lines!
Mr Hayward, there were no lines!
I know I will never be able to offer you what Mr Ryder can.
I have had to work for everything that I have and...
and I thought you deserved better than that...
that you deserved better than me. But now I realise...
I will not know what you want unless I ask.
So I must tell you,
I cannot offer you great wealth or Italy.
But I can offer you my love
and my devotion
and my hope to build a family one day.
Mr Hayward...
if you had asked me what I wanted,
I would have told you I never wanted Mr Ryder.
I have never loved Mr Ryder.
I love you.
I have only ever loved you.
I love you.
I have always loved you
from the very first time I caught you playing graces on your own
when you thought no-one was at home.
I have spent my life on the outside of things,
but with you I am right in the middle of it all.
Mary Bennet,
would you do me the very great honour of becoming my wife?
Yes.
Yeah.
That was a yes, Mr Hayward,
in case... in case you didn't catch it.
Mary, I think now that we have kissed,
you could probably call me Tom.
Wait, what made you come back?
I received a letter
from Caroline Bingley.
- What? - Yes.
She wrote to me and she told me about your conversation
and I realised I was being ridiculous.
From Caroline Bingley?
Yes. She did something kind!
Wait, however did she find you?
She has her ways.
My only wish is that we could thank her, but she has left London.
She's gone to Italy
in pursuit of Mr Ryder.
- No! - Yes!
- No! - Yes.
Why not?
And so it was that I married him.
But on my own terms, in my own time.
And I hope you'll realise that is almost beside the point.
The point, perhaps,
was just as Hill had predicted
all that time ago...
that I needed to get out and see the world outside my family
so that I could find my place in it.
- That is the last of them. - Really?
No.
The indigo is splendid.
- It's actually Tyrian purple. - It's Tyrian?
Yes. From the Greek myth about Hercules' dog
chewing a spiny murex sea snail.
I didn't know Hercules had a dog.
Keep up, Thomas.
I am trying.
What's next?
Spring green in the drawing room.
_
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