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America's 250th birthday is coming up,

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which means fireworks.

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Woo-hoo!

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But if you're a dog,

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boo-hoo.

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We're not expecting you
to stop firing off explosives.

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This is still America.

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But here's how to keep your pet safe,

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even while the world
around them gets loud.

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Dress your dog in
a weighted vest and earmuffs.

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Works a charm. Right, Shred?

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I've never felt so calm in my life.

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Startled dogs often make a run for it.

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So, microchip your pet
or else this will happen.

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Go. Run.

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Go! Come on, you're embarrassing me.

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Play soothing music
to keep your pooch calm.

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Or if you're like me
and you have perfect pitch,

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just sing to them.

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There's nothing to be afraid of.

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Just because the sky is on fire.

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And when in doubt,
cuddles go a long way.

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And on an unrelated but mandatory note,

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Seattle is experiencing a boom
in waterborne anal worms.

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So make your vaccination
appointment soon, and...

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Happy birthday, America!

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Okay. Listen up, people.

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The Animal Control
Officers Association is

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sending a representative today
to observe our two

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ACOOTY nominees.

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ACOOTY?

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Animal Control Officer of the Year.

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And why didn't you just say that?

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Err... because ACOOTY saves time.

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And yet, here we are.

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Anyways, they're sending Wayne Peters.

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Ooh, they're bringing in the big dog.

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He was the first person
to ever win the award,

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and he endorsed eight of
the last nine winners.

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He's a bit of a kingmaker.

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If you win Wayne's vote,
you win officer of the year.

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Stay alert.

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He's been known to Undercover Boss it

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with disguises.

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He could be an old man
looking for a dog.

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And one time in Eugene...

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he was the dog.

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When is he coming?

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He's already here.

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That's right. Always observe an animal

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before you enter their habitat.

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Great to meet you, sir.

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Officer Dudge.

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Officer Shaw.

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Two nominees from the same precinct.

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That's rare, almost like...

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an albino rattlesnake.

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Whoa!

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Is it hemotoxic or neurotoxic venom?

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Neuro.

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You're a badass.

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Well, I am here to identify
the person who best demonstrates

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professionalism, integrity, and
a commitment to animal safety.

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And whoever shows me
these qualities will get

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my recommendation as
one of the 10 finalists

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for this year's award.

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Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to hit the head.

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I've been in this onesie all morning.

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Okay, Wayne is gonna do a ride-along

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with both you and Templeton.

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I need you to impress him,
'cause if Templeton

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wins this award, he's coming for my job.

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Yeah, he's gotten bolder.

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I caught him
eating lunch here yesterday,

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doing a pretend Zoom with the mayor.

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Is that why there was feta
on my keyboard?

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Frank, you have to win.

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Guys, this comes down to personality.

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I got it in the bag.

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Hmm.

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What is these looks?

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Guys, I'm diligent. I'm smart.

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I'm quick with a zinger, like...

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Emily, you'd be taken more
seriously if your sentences

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didn't sound like questions.

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Okay. Ouch?

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Yeah, I hate to say it,
but I think Templeton

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has a very pale leg up on you.

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The terrible stuff that
he says seems like jokes

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if you don't know him.

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Maybe you need to do something,

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I don't know, a little extra.

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Something that makes Templeton
look worse.

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I'm sorry, is there something
wrong with your stomach?

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No, I think she wants Frank
to sabotage Templeton.

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As your boss,
I would never suggest that.

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On the record.

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Yeah, I'm in.

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Shred, what ideas do we have
left in the dossier?

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There's the one where
we convince Templeton

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he's becoming the smallest man on Earth.

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But that could take years.

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See, I would never
condone anything like that.

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Because that would be cheating.

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I got it, just please don't wink again.

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So, Maya's been hounding me
for a double date

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with you and Parker.

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I've been trying to hold
her off, but she just...

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she's got this couples therapist

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- wrapped around her finger.
- Hmm.

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Usually when Parker and I
meet up with other couples,

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group sex is involved.

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Yeah... no, this would be like
a corner booth at P.F. Chang's.

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Say, 5:45.

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One bottle of wine, split four ways.

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You know, then we take home the rest.

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'Kay, wow. This is all
very... heteronormative,

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trad-wife, norm-core.

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Which would make it
kinda the freakiest thing

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that Parker and I had done
in a whi... you know what?

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Tell her we're in.

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Are you sure?

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Parker could tuck his shirt in.

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Oh, my God! With a belt.

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Hilarious. That's so good.

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For the record, I don't love you
mocking my lifestyle.

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Old Navy's having a sale. Huh.

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I know what I'm doing on Saturday.

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Somebody's gotta go first.

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Then again, somebody's gotta go last.

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Doesn't matter to me.

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Either way, he's gonna
be eating a delicious éclair

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from his favorite bakery.

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You're bribing him
with an eclair after lunch?

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That's embarrassing.

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- I'll go first.
- Fine by me.

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All right, that's classic
reverse psychology.

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I will go second.

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Mmm! Figured me out.

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Now, that is reverse psychology.

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I will go first.

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- What is that?
- Hey!

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Like a violin.

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Hey, Shred. I had dinner with
my friend Cassie last night.

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I showed her one of your
snowboard clips. She's in.

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- In?
- To you!

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And you'd love her. She's so athletic

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and pretty and shorter than you.

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So I sent her a text this morning,

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and she's open to a setup.

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Yeah, that's really sweet and cool.

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5'7" is also the global average for men.

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Not that that matters.

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Um, but I don't think I'm
really in a place right now...

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No, listen!

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I've known her forever from church.

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She's like my little church daughter.

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You're like my work son. It's perfect!

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Unless... are you seeing someone?

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No, no, he's not seeing anyone.

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No, you should do it.
She sounds perfect.

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Um...

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Yes.

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Okay, yeah. I'd take her

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for... a spin. Ride.
I... I'd go out with her.

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But, can you tell her I'm shy
and I don't like to kiss

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on the first date.

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Ooh, nothing makes undies drop
faster than a gentleman.

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Ah!

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I got a good feeling about this.

171
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Uh, sorry. What is happening?

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Hello? It looks suspicious
if you won't go on a setup

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with the perfect woman.

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Yeah, or we could just
tell everybody we're together,

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and I don't go on the weird, fake date.

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It's just, it's not a good time,
with Wayne Peters,

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and the ACOOTYs and there's
a supermoon tomorrow.

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So this is a better plan, just trust me.

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I didn't know about the supermoon.

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- Yeah.
- Okay.

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I will go on the date.

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But, while I'm holding her hand,
I'll be imagining it's yours.

183
00:06:25,738 --> 00:06:27,938
Why will you be holding her hand?

184
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This is a very confusing
assignment you've given me.

185
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And here I thought my greatest disguise

186
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was hiding my sweet tooth.

187
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Ehh, a good officer does his research.

188
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Whoa!

189
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Bat. Rousettus aegyptiacus.

190
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Unconfined.

191
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How do we proceed, officer?

192
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Uh, okay. Wet road conditions.

193
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School bus on my six.
Too dicey to brake.

194
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I'm gonna confuse its echolocation.

195
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Whoo!

196
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Whoo! Whoo!

197
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Wee-wee-oh!

198
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Textbook.

199
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I'll give you that one.

200
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I said that, I did say that.

201
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Wayne, just want to apologize
on behalf of the precinct

202
00:07:07,822 --> 00:07:09,802
for what you experienced
on that ride along.

203
00:07:09,826 --> 00:07:11,939
Questionable jokes,
unnecessary lip licking,

204
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:14,378
giggling and whispering
like a farmhouse ghost.

205
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Au contraire.

206
00:07:15,537 --> 00:07:16,883
Wayne and I had a fine time

207
00:07:16,907 --> 00:07:18,787
controlling the animals of Seattle.

208
00:07:18,811 --> 00:07:20,356
He caught a bat while driving.

209
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,647
I've never seen such deft fingers.

210
00:07:23,019 --> 00:07:23,921
Um...

211
00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:25,767
well, I'm glad you enjoyed your opener,

212
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,905
because your headliner's
about to melt your face off.

213
00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:29,909
Unfortunately, that bat took
a huge chunk of our day.

214
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:32,515
Why don't we just grab
a hotel lobby coffee tomorrow?

215
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,451
I'm rolling out for Boise around 9:00.

216
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,923
- I'll be there at 7:00.
- I wake up at 8:15.

217
00:07:36,947 --> 00:07:39,093
T-Bag, impressive stuff today, buddy.

218
00:07:39,117 --> 00:07:40,086
Thanks.

219
00:07:40,854 --> 00:07:42,568
Nice try, Frank.

220
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:47,000
And the ACOOTY goes to
Dirk Templeton Dudge.

221
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,835
Why doesn't he just go by Dirk?

222
00:07:53,266 --> 00:07:54,344
This is out of control.

223
00:07:54,368 --> 00:07:56,749
Thanks to your little prank,
Templeton looks like

224
00:07:56,773 --> 00:07:58,452
gosh dang Captain America.

225
00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:00,389
How was I supposed to know
that living Squishmallow

226
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,393
was gonna be competent
for the first time in his life?

227
00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:04,164
When he takes my job,
they'll probably move me

228
00:08:04,188 --> 00:08:06,034
to city planning, which we all know is

229
00:08:06,058 --> 00:08:08,105
a never-ending argument
about bike lanes.

230
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:09,976
Don't worry, Frank still
has his coffee date,

231
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,412
and my man is great in the mornin'.

232
00:08:11,436 --> 00:08:13,717
He wakes up just a chittering
like a field mouse.

233
00:08:13,741 --> 00:08:15,019
I'm not your man and don't lie.

234
00:08:15,043 --> 00:08:17,123
6:00 to 8:00 PM is my golden hour.

235
00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,108
Wait a minute.

236
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:19,335
Why don't I just invite Wayne over

237
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,865
for dinner and drinks at my place?

238
00:08:20,889 --> 00:08:22,258
No...

239
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:24,037
Why are you doing that again?

240
00:08:24,061 --> 00:08:25,841
'Cause you're a sad man
with a sad house.

241
00:08:25,865 --> 00:08:28,747
Wait, what if we could
dilute the sadness with us?

242
00:08:28,771 --> 00:08:31,085
We could throw a dinner party,
sing Frank's praises,

243
00:08:31,109 --> 00:08:33,055
and then maybe Wayne wouldn't
even notice that you have

244
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,591
an entire room for your dog
and your cat.

245
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,863
Mmm, I couldn't do tonight,
'cause Maya, she bullied me

246
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:38,296
into a double date with Victoria.

247
00:08:38,321 --> 00:08:40,069
I'm doing that for ironic
cosplay reasons,

248
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:42,993
so rolling that into
a work thing kinda works.

249
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,444
What are you doing?

250
00:08:44,468 --> 00:08:47,050
You guys plotting?
You-you have plotting energy.

251
00:08:47,074 --> 00:08:49,474
Somebody close the blinds right now.

252
00:08:50,247 --> 00:08:51,315
Sorry.

253
00:08:53,019 --> 00:08:56,025
And his name was Doctor Tarantula.

254
00:08:56,392 --> 00:08:58,296
Cassie, this is Shred.

255
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,678
Oh, my God, he's so cute.

256
00:09:00,702 --> 00:09:02,046
Ooh, the cat's not too bad either.

257
00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:03,616
Don't worry, we've both been dewormed.

258
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,856
Oh, well, why don't I take this
little fur baby so you two

259
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,659
can get going on your date?

260
00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:10,095
Ooh, is it date time already?

261
00:09:10,119 --> 00:09:12,858
Yay... go have fun, you two.

262
00:09:13,226 --> 00:09:14,896
Ye... yes.

263
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,033
Okay. After you.

264
00:09:17,702 --> 00:09:18,670
Ooh.

265
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:21,987
After you! I bet he's doing that
so he can look at her butt.

266
00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:24,081
Ah! Yeah. For sure, for sure.

267
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:25,994
You know, as long as you're
matchmaking, feel free

268
00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:27,955
to throw some strange my way.

269
00:09:27,989 --> 00:09:29,367
Girl, they got apps for that.

270
00:09:29,391 --> 00:09:30,293
Yeah.

271
00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:32,708
So glad you could make it.

272
00:09:32,732 --> 00:09:34,712
Figured you're on the road
300 days a year.

273
00:09:34,736 --> 00:09:35,781
Home cooked meal,

274
00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,016
toasty Italian red might be nice.

275
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,389
Yeah, my dinner was gonna be
the cold bagels that I pocketed

276
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,213
- from the Ramada, so.
- Oh!

277
00:09:43,832 --> 00:09:44,866
Ramada.

278
00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:46,201
- May I?
- Please.

279
00:09:46,225 --> 00:09:48,039
I am so glad this worked out.

280
00:09:48,063 --> 00:09:49,943
I've been trying to get us
all together for ages,

281
00:09:49,967 --> 00:09:51,578
but Amit keeps telling me
you're too busy.

282
00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:54,752
No, he's totally right.
We're crazy busy these days.

283
00:09:54,776 --> 00:09:57,815
Um, candle shopping and
Container Store and...

284
00:09:57,848 --> 00:10:00,821
racing each other to finish the Wordle.

285
00:10:00,854 --> 00:10:02,266
It was so hard today.

286
00:10:02,290 --> 00:10:03,282
- It was.
- Not for her!

287
00:10:03,307 --> 00:10:05,006
She got it in two guesses. Exile.

288
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:06,676
Oh, well, don't give 'em the answer!

289
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:07,945
What? Let me brag on you, baby.

290
00:10:07,969 --> 00:10:09,214
- Oh, stop.
- No, you stop.

291
00:10:09,238 --> 00:10:11,844
- Stop.
- You stop. You stop.

292
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:13,757
Stop. No, you stop.

293
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:14,681
You stop!

294
00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:16,294
Are you as turned on as I am right now?

295
00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:17,931
Stop it, I've got such a headache

296
00:10:17,955 --> 00:10:19,000
from doing all that laundry.

297
00:10:19,024 --> 00:10:20,369
Ooh, stop. We're getting there.

298
00:10:20,393 --> 00:10:21,513
I'm exhausted.

299
00:10:22,128 --> 00:10:23,208
If I may.

300
00:10:23,232 --> 00:10:26,071
I just wanted to give a little toast.

301
00:10:26,105 --> 00:10:29,521
And thank Frank for not only
hosting this lovely dinner

302
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,091
for all of us, but also...

303
00:10:31,115 --> 00:10:35,022
being one of the best officers
I've ever known.

304
00:10:35,056 --> 00:10:39,097
His courage, quick thinking,
calm under pressure.

305
00:10:39,131 --> 00:10:43,741
If I ever get that dreaded
wolf in an orphanage phone call.

306
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,778
Frank's my guy. So.

307
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,713
To Frank.

308
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:47,712
- To Frank.
- To Frank.

309
00:10:47,737 --> 00:10:49,060
- To the big catch.
- Cheers.

310
00:10:49,084 --> 00:10:50,764
- Stop, stop, stop.
- He's the best.

311
00:10:50,788 --> 00:10:53,135
Stop. Compliments make me uncomfortable.

312
00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:55,907
Your co-workers have a lot of
nice things to say about you.

313
00:10:55,931 --> 00:10:57,199
Oh, well, wait till you meet Shred.

314
00:10:57,224 --> 00:10:59,280
He has a bit of a partner
crush on me. Where is he?

315
00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:02,053
Oh, Shred is on a date,
but he should be here soon.

316
00:11:02,077 --> 00:11:05,143
And I mean, it's only been,
um... oh, three hours.

317
00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:06,161
Wow.

318
00:11:06,185 --> 00:11:07,931
You know what we should do next time?

319
00:11:07,955 --> 00:11:09,301
Taste of Seattle.

320
00:11:09,325 --> 00:11:10,937
It's the last Sunday of every month.

321
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:13,366
And this month, the theme is cheese.

322
00:11:13,399 --> 00:11:15,212
Yeah, but they only let you sample

323
00:11:15,236 --> 00:11:17,283
three cheeses, and you guys
probably have plans, so.

324
00:11:17,307 --> 00:11:18,987
No, we'll be there.
I'll bring my Lactaid.

325
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:21,291
See, babe, I told you they'd be into it.

326
00:11:21,315 --> 00:11:22,928
She did, she told me.

327
00:11:22,952 --> 00:11:24,972
All right, couples selfie time.
You ready?

328
00:11:26,191 --> 00:11:28,105
I am extremely horny right now.

329
00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:30,542
Your sensible sneakers are
driving me absolutely insane.

330
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:31,466
Stop.

331
00:11:32,396 --> 00:11:34,651
It's always good to be
back at my old frat.

332
00:11:34,675 --> 00:11:37,824
I noticed you guys are getting
a little soft with your hazing.

333
00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:38,893
When I was a freshman,

334
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:40,997
The senior brothers
convinced me to get a tattoo

335
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:42,524
to match theirs.

336
00:11:42,557 --> 00:11:43,770
Then theirs washed off.

337
00:11:43,794 --> 00:11:46,876
Hey, remember you told me to
follow Patel's wife's socials?

338
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,145
Well, it's finally paying off.

339
00:11:48,169 --> 00:11:49,347
I got a discount at Madewell,

340
00:11:49,371 --> 00:11:52,153
and I just found out that Frank
is hosting a dinner party

341
00:11:52,177 --> 00:11:53,857
with Wayne right now.

342
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:54,959
I knew it.

343
00:11:54,983 --> 00:11:56,663
That was plotting energy.

344
00:11:58,857 --> 00:12:01,863
I present... Salmon a la Shaw.

345
00:12:01,896 --> 00:12:02,965
Wow!

346
00:12:02,998 --> 00:12:04,864
What's everyone else eating?

347
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,409
So good.

348
00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:11,615
Oh! Uh, Shred's finally here.

349
00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:16,268
There he is!

350
00:12:16,293 --> 00:12:20,308
Frank! Frank! Frank! Frank!
Frank! Frank! Frank! Frank!

351
00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:22,313
My lawn is a National Lampoon movie.

352
00:12:22,337 --> 00:12:24,317
Frank! Frank! Frank!

353
00:12:24,341 --> 00:12:26,311
No! Get away!

354
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:30,052
This has Templeton's dandruff
sprinkled all over it.

355
00:12:38,704 --> 00:12:41,241
That's Doc Whiskers'!

356
00:12:45,183 --> 00:12:47,396
Throwing a rager on a Tuesday?
I'm appalled, Frank.

357
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,902
I just rushed here from Bible
studies as soon as I heard.

358
00:12:49,926 --> 00:12:53,008
Save it, officer Dudge, I know
you're responsible for this.

359
00:12:53,032 --> 00:12:55,279
You told me you're
a legacy member of this frat

360
00:12:55,303 --> 00:12:56,381
when we were on our drive.

361
00:12:56,405 --> 00:12:57,583
You even taught me the handshake!

362
00:12:57,607 --> 00:13:00,223
He had to rush twice, he didn't
get in his first semester.

363
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:02,059
'Cause it went with my mom
the first time.

364
00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:03,228
Frank put the bat in your pastry.

365
00:13:03,252 --> 00:13:05,265
Okay, I guess I'm dealing
with a couple pranksters here.

366
00:13:05,289 --> 00:13:07,929
You're both missing the esprit de corps

367
00:13:07,962 --> 00:13:09,474
that makes Animal Control special.

368
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,311
We put the animals before ourselves,

369
00:13:11,335 --> 00:13:13,048
and you've both lost sight of that.

370
00:13:13,072 --> 00:13:15,972
So, neither of you
are getting my endorsement.

371
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:18,917
Wayne, please!

372
00:13:19,451 --> 00:13:21,231
Do not drink outta that vase!

373
00:13:21,255 --> 00:13:22,901
What are you doing? No!

374
00:13:22,925 --> 00:13:24,337
- Hey!
- Oh, my gosh, you're here.

375
00:13:24,361 --> 00:13:25,273
- Thank God.
- Yeah.

376
00:13:25,297 --> 00:13:27,543
Our plan to impress Wayne is a disaster.

377
00:13:27,567 --> 00:13:28,612
I'm so sorry I'm late.

378
00:13:28,636 --> 00:13:30,416
Coffee went long,
and then we went to mini golf.

379
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:31,888
- It was a whole thing.
- No, it's okay.

380
00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:34,709
It doesn't matter.
What matters is you're here now.

381
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:36,652
And so is Cassie.

382
00:13:36,686 --> 00:13:37,806
Cassie's here.

383
00:13:37,889 --> 00:13:40,135
Yeah. Frank texted while
we were at the batting cages.

384
00:13:40,159 --> 00:13:41,605
He said to come right away.

385
00:13:41,629 --> 00:13:42,942
The batting cages?

386
00:13:42,966 --> 00:13:44,110
I played softball in college.

387
00:13:44,134 --> 00:13:46,281
At Princeton. She gets weird about it.

388
00:13:46,305 --> 00:13:47,317
Just say you went there.

389
00:13:47,341 --> 00:13:49,454
Why are you weird about it?
It must be so nice

390
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:52,117
to be so pretty and smart and athletic.

391
00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:53,662
Do you wanna get something to drink?

392
00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:55,256
Um...

393
00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,401
Emily, do you want anything?

394
00:13:56,425 --> 00:13:59,073
No, thank you. I'm good.
Just worry about your date.

395
00:13:59,097 --> 00:14:00,633
Okay.

396
00:14:08,483 --> 00:14:10,731
Who would've thought that
living out my worst nightmare

397
00:14:10,755 --> 00:14:12,190
could be so hot?

398
00:14:12,223 --> 00:14:14,228
Nightmare's a little strong.

399
00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:16,208
They gave us the number
for their gutter guy.

400
00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,278
But, like, on a physical card.

401
00:14:18,302 --> 00:14:19,380
Why do they have this?

402
00:14:19,404 --> 00:14:21,018
Did they just ask him for extras?

403
00:14:21,042 --> 00:14:23,421
I get that it's sad stuff, but is it?

404
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:26,328
I mean, I'm actually excited
about Taste of Seattle.

405
00:14:26,352 --> 00:14:28,131
Wait... are you still doing a bit?

406
00:14:28,155 --> 00:14:30,102
- We're not going to that.
- Why not?

407
00:14:30,126 --> 00:14:32,407
Because we're not Maya and Patel.

408
00:14:32,431 --> 00:14:35,938
Yeah, but would it be
that bad if someday we were?

409
00:14:36,506 --> 00:14:39,211
Okay, we're not the mom and dad types.

410
00:14:39,244 --> 00:14:40,556
Okay, but this quarter-zip

411
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,326
has awoken something inside of me.

412
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:43,829
Like a... like a werewolf.

413
00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:46,534
But with a mortgage and
little league on the weekends.

414
00:14:46,558 --> 00:14:49,632
Oh, um... yeah. I need some air.

415
00:14:49,665 --> 00:14:51,268
Babe, wait.

416
00:14:51,301 --> 00:14:53,590
Wait, where does that leave us
for the cheese thing?

417
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,425
- It's hot.
- Back it up.

418
00:14:58,449 --> 00:15:00,196
Back it up, back it up, back it up.

419
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:01,497
- What? What?
- What?

420
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:03,468
Oh, wow. Okay.

421
00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:05,063
Oh...

422
00:15:05,096 --> 00:15:07,276
Love this song, too. It's so good.

423
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,047
You can't help but dance.

424
00:15:09,071 --> 00:15:10,139
Oh, my god!

425
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:12,277
Oh, my god, Cass. I'm so sorry.

426
00:15:12,310 --> 00:15:14,458
That's so crazy that that happened.

427
00:15:14,482 --> 00:15:16,495
Oh, it's... it's really... it's okay.

428
00:15:16,519 --> 00:15:18,298
I have another shirt in my work bag.

429
00:15:18,322 --> 00:15:21,228
- Okay.
- She's a pediatric oncologist.

430
00:15:21,262 --> 00:15:23,031
Ahh! You are?

431
00:15:23,065 --> 00:15:24,778
Wow, you're saving the little ones.

432
00:15:24,802 --> 00:15:25,947
That's outta sight.

433
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:29,220
Wow... I myself, I volunteer
at a women's shelter, so.

434
00:15:29,244 --> 00:15:30,355
- Saint Augustine's?
- Uh-huh.

435
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:32,326
I'm there, like, four times a week.

436
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:35,032
Yeah, it has been a minute
since I've been there.

437
00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:38,605
I used to go Saturdays, but I
found this one yoga class, so...

438
00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,643
There's actually
a guest bedroom upstairs

439
00:15:40,667 --> 00:15:41,713
if you wanna change.

440
00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:43,248
Yes! Yes, Shred.

441
00:15:43,272 --> 00:15:44,852
But she doesn't know the house.

442
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,521
So, why don't you be
a gentleman and show her

443
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:48,516
where the second bedroom is?

444
00:15:49,084 --> 00:15:50,463
You know what? I'll take you.

445
00:15:50,487 --> 00:15:52,166
- Oh, you're so sweet.
- I gotcha.

446
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:53,536
- Yeah.
- You remind me of my aunt.

447
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,460
Aww.

448
00:15:54,696 --> 00:15:57,033
- Whoops. Gotcha again.
- Oh!

449
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,104
Let's get you changed.

450
00:15:59,705 --> 00:16:02,544
remember your technique in slicing

451
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:05,149
into the onion making some level...

452
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:06,753
Sorry. Wrong room.

453
00:16:06,786 --> 00:16:08,288
Okay. Yeah.

454
00:16:10,059 --> 00:16:12,240
So, Shred seems great.

455
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:14,334
Yeah. Yeah. Shred, he's...

456
00:16:14,769 --> 00:16:16,571
Not great. Nuh-uh.

457
00:16:16,605 --> 00:16:18,777
He's-he's pretty problematic.

458
00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,489
Yeah, he's a real hound dog.

459
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,459
He seemed so nice at the batting cages.

460
00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:25,132
I'm sure he was.
That's one of his moves though.

461
00:16:25,156 --> 00:16:29,097
It's toxic respect.
It's the new gaslighting.

462
00:16:29,131 --> 00:16:30,512
- Is that a thing?
- If I were you,

463
00:16:30,537 --> 00:16:33,181
I would put on several
layers of clothes, like...

464
00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:34,651
- just right now.
- Yeah.

465
00:16:34,675 --> 00:16:37,725
And maybe just, you know, leave
without even saying goodbye.

466
00:16:37,749 --> 00:16:39,560
- Yeah.
- Let's just bundle you up and...

467
00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:41,497
- No, that's a good idea.
- And get you outta here.

468
00:16:41,521 --> 00:16:43,587
- You know?
- Thank you so much.

469
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:46,131
That award came with a $10,000 prize.

470
00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:48,202
I was gonna travel to Turkey.

471
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,283
I assume for hair transplants
and all the Botox

472
00:16:50,307 --> 00:16:51,584
your brow can hold?

473
00:16:51,608 --> 00:16:52,520
Lip filler.

474
00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,558
You can't put a price on being a legend.

475
00:16:54,582 --> 00:16:56,494
I was blinded by my hatred for you.

476
00:16:56,518 --> 00:16:58,384
I lost sight of the animals.

477
00:17:04,568 --> 00:17:07,140
Hey, look. I stole our mascot.

478
00:17:07,174 --> 00:17:08,374
Free the humps!

479
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,148
That's my big bro!

480
00:17:11,181 --> 00:17:13,486
Not cool, Trey. Get off the camel!

481
00:17:13,519 --> 00:17:14,419
Okay.

482
00:17:15,825 --> 00:17:17,594
Yeah!

483
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,658
Flank him! I'll go left.

484
00:17:28,682 --> 00:17:31,155
Hey, Siri, play My Humps by Fergie.

485
00:17:31,188 --> 00:17:32,256
Calling Mom.

486
00:17:32,281 --> 00:17:34,537
No, don't call Mom. Play My Humps!

487
00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:36,842
Hey. Cassie texted. She left the party.

488
00:17:36,866 --> 00:17:38,479
- What? Oh...
- Really?

489
00:17:38,503 --> 00:17:41,275
I teed that up for you. She was perfect.

490
00:17:41,308 --> 00:17:43,589
Smart, family money,
tight little church body.

491
00:17:43,613 --> 00:17:44,657
How tight was that body, Emily?

492
00:17:44,681 --> 00:17:47,296
Honestly, very tight.
Did you say family money?

493
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,166
Baby boy, what the hell happened?

494
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:50,335
She wasn't right for me.

495
00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:51,661
Because...

496
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,696
I'm in love with someone else.

497
00:17:58,609 --> 00:17:59,712
Who is it?

498
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:00,814
I want names.

499
00:18:02,016 --> 00:18:03,528
My ex.

500
00:18:03,552 --> 00:18:04,521
Camila.

501
00:18:04,755 --> 00:18:07,469
She's an Olympic snowboarder
and I still have feelings.

502
00:18:07,493 --> 00:18:09,207
Okay, I need some eyes
on this ice queen.

503
00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:10,466
Yeah.

504
00:18:10,633 --> 00:18:12,881
Oh, you still have photos
of her on your phone.

505
00:18:12,905 --> 00:18:14,574
That's nice.

506
00:18:15,409 --> 00:18:16,621
And she's an Olympian?

507
00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:18,525
Oh, you're not getting
any better than this.

508
00:18:18,549 --> 00:18:19,661
Come on, let's go get a drink,

509
00:18:19,685 --> 00:18:21,697
and we can game-plan on how
we're gonna get her back.

510
00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:22,634
Okay.

511
00:18:22,658 --> 00:18:23,970
- 'Kay.
- Go do that.

512
00:18:23,994 --> 00:18:25,831
- Yeah.
- Go get her back.

513
00:18:27,702 --> 00:18:29,404
- Hey.
- Hey.

514
00:18:29,437 --> 00:18:31,575
Sorry I sort of freaked out.

515
00:18:32,477 --> 00:18:33,790
You caught me off guard.

516
00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:36,414
I think I caught myself off guard, too.

517
00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:39,367
Do you really want all that stuff?

518
00:18:39,391 --> 00:18:41,362
Kids. House.

519
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:43,632
A belt that's not rope.

520
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,047
I've been a drifter all my life.

521
00:18:46,071 --> 00:18:49,721
And tonight I got a preview of
what it would be like

522
00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:52,559
to settle down with a girl
that I really like.

523
00:18:52,583 --> 00:18:55,757
And I really liked it.

524
00:18:57,294 --> 00:18:58,595
Hmm.

525
00:18:59,297 --> 00:19:00,566
See...

526
00:19:00,868 --> 00:19:02,646
That scares me,

527
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:04,936
because I don't want those things.

528
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:07,724
Damn.

529
00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:08,716
Damn.

530
00:19:14,428 --> 00:19:16,340
I don't want to stand in the way of you

531
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,044
chasing what you want.

532
00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:22,009
So, what does that mean,
are we breaking up?

533
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,516
I think we are.

534
00:19:31,729 --> 00:19:33,599
Make way for the dromedary!

535
00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:37,507
Listen up, all you Aidan, Brayden,
Caden, Jadens and Noahs.

536
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:40,280
This thing has a 15-foot spit radius.

537
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,859
That's a 30-foot diameter.

538
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,483
Math major, bitches.

539
00:19:46,492 --> 00:19:49,440
So, now would probably be
a good time to tell you

540
00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:51,936
I have a bit of a jealousy problem.

541
00:19:52,003 --> 00:19:53,115
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

542
00:19:53,139 --> 00:19:55,419
Yeah, you really scared
the crap outta that poor girl.

543
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,623
I know. I had to, though,
because no one told me

544
00:19:57,647 --> 00:20:00,195
she was this athletic doctor
with generational wealth

545
00:20:00,219 --> 00:20:02,934
who saves sick kids and
is also, like, super hot.

546
00:20:02,958 --> 00:20:05,072
Yeah, but that's not what I want.

547
00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:06,465
I want you.

548
00:20:06,699 --> 00:20:07,801
Whoa.

549
00:20:07,834 --> 00:20:09,046
No! No.

550
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:10,215
- You're hot.
- Okay.

551
00:20:10,239 --> 00:20:12,586
Obviously, you're like this
incredible boss that works

552
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,314
with disadvantaged women

553
00:20:14,339 --> 00:20:15,885
when it works with her yoga schedule.

554
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:16,812
Shut up!

555
00:20:16,837 --> 00:20:18,724
And that's what I like.

556
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:20,026
So...

557
00:20:20,426 --> 00:20:22,297
You're in love with someone?

558
00:20:22,564 --> 00:20:24,601
I did say that, didn't I?

559
00:20:24,969 --> 00:20:27,741
Might I ask who? Or...

560
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:42,838
Well. Enjoy this.

561
00:20:42,872 --> 00:20:44,785
It'll be the last time
I offer you a drink

562
00:20:44,809 --> 00:20:46,722
that doesn't require an antidote.

563
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:48,993
That might be the first ever
dual scooter

564
00:20:49,017 --> 00:20:50,563
frat party camel rescue.

565
00:20:50,587 --> 00:20:52,734
Too bad Wayne wasn't here to see it.

566
00:20:52,758 --> 00:20:54,995
He saw everything, brah.

567
00:20:57,868 --> 00:21:00,539
You two put your petty squabbles aside,

568
00:21:00,573 --> 00:21:01,685
and you put the animals first.

569
00:21:01,709 --> 00:21:03,790
And that is what
this award is all about.

570
00:21:03,814 --> 00:21:06,594
You both get my endorsement
to be in the final 10 nominees.

571
00:21:06,618 --> 00:21:08,064
- Congratulations.
- Sir.

572
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:08,988
Thanks.

573
00:21:09,157 --> 00:21:11,204
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to be in Boise

574
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,676
in the morning, or should I say,
a vending machine guy

575
00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,436
named Rocko does.

576
00:21:16,004 --> 00:21:18,268
We did it! We're back in the game.

577
00:21:18,293 --> 00:21:19,554
You know, and for those ten minutes,

578
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:20,957
I didn't abhor your presence.

579
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:21,881
Samezies.

580
00:21:22,050 --> 00:21:24,798
You know, it's nice seeing
you two work together.

581
00:21:24,822 --> 00:21:27,436
Maybe we can bring that energy
back to the precinct?

582
00:21:27,460 --> 00:21:29,374
Hey, Trey. Celebratory keg stand.

583
00:21:29,398 --> 00:21:31,578
I want a brother on every limb.

584
00:21:31,602 --> 00:21:33,105
Let's do it, boys.

585
00:21:33,138 --> 00:21:35,676
T-Bag! T-Bag!

586
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:37,590
Bury that man.

587
00:21:37,615 --> 00:21:39,019
Oh, he's already dead.

588
00:21:39,044 --> 00:21:43,066
CREDITS