1
00:00:01,113 --> 00:00:02,906
All right, everyone.
I'm heading out early

2
00:00:02,931 --> 00:00:04,317
for my dentist appointment.

3
00:00:04,342 --> 00:00:05,678
Clean teeth are happy teeth!

4
00:00:05,712 --> 00:00:06,612
Good luck, boss.

5
00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:09,217
Oh, um, I thought that
the bite suits would be

6
00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,555
back by now from the dry cleaners.

7
00:00:10,589 --> 00:00:12,390
If they're delivered by EOD,
would you guys mind

8
00:00:12,391 --> 00:00:13,359
putting them in the closet?

9
00:00:13,393 --> 00:00:14,520
- Mm-hmm.
- Absolutely.

10
00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:16,248
- Yeah, totally.
- Okay.

11
00:00:21,511 --> 00:00:24,582
Whatever you want.
Bookie's closed. Let's go!

12
00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:27,487
Come on, Frank!

13
00:00:29,391 --> 00:00:31,162
How are you not falling down?

14
00:00:31,195 --> 00:00:33,834
I've got a foot and 25
pounds of muscle on you.

15
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:37,207
Low center of gravity, baby.
This weeble won't wobble.

16
00:00:43,453 --> 00:00:44,389
Hey, no biting!

17
00:00:44,657 --> 00:00:47,027
Actually, I guess that's
kinda what the suits are for.

18
00:00:47,060 --> 00:00:48,296
That's okay. Chomp away!

19
00:00:48,329 --> 00:00:50,601
Hey, guys, I just forgot my wall...

20
00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:57,616
Do you guys ever work, even a little?

21
00:00:57,649 --> 00:00:59,252
You know, in many ways,

22
00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,455
this is your fault, for trusting us.

23
00:01:28,678 --> 00:01:32,206
CREDITS

24
00:01:32,451 --> 00:01:33,536
Okay, one more thing.

25
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:35,825
I have noticed that
some of our adoptable cats

26
00:01:35,859 --> 00:01:37,696
are getting a little bit chunky.

27
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,600
Okay, let's not body shame the animals.

28
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,569
Trust me, the shame is not with the cat.

29
00:01:41,570 --> 00:01:44,751
Okay, uh, meeting adjourned.
Unless anyone has anything else?

30
00:01:44,776 --> 00:01:46,946
I got something. Why are you
drinking Shred's coffee?

31
00:01:48,951 --> 00:01:51,423
Oh! Whoops-a-doodle-doo.

32
00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:54,362
I must have picked up the wrong drink

33
00:01:54,395 --> 00:01:55,565
in the kitchen earlier.

34
00:01:55,598 --> 00:01:57,134
- Uh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.

35
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,961
- So... ah!
- Been looking all over for this.

36
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,274
Here you go.

37
00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:01,546
Just get these cooties off.

38
00:02:01,576 --> 00:02:02,973
- Right?
- Right. Mm-hmm.

39
00:02:07,618 --> 00:02:09,860
Forgot I ordered six

40
00:02:09,894 --> 00:02:11,129
shots of espresso.

41
00:02:11,195 --> 00:02:12,113
Yeah.

42
00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:13,498
- So good.
- Now you remember.

43
00:02:13,499 --> 00:02:14,736
Okay. We're done here.

44
00:02:14,769 --> 00:02:16,013
Uh... Frank.

45
00:02:16,038 --> 00:02:19,400
I still need your paperwork for
the 24 animals you brought in

46
00:02:19,425 --> 00:02:20,480
for the Jack Bauer.

47
00:02:20,514 --> 00:02:23,319
I would do it, but... stapler's broken.

48
00:02:23,353 --> 00:02:25,456
Okay, you have been
making excuses not to do

49
00:02:25,457 --> 00:02:27,261
this paperwork for weeks now.

50
00:02:27,294 --> 00:02:29,198
Each moment I waste on paperwork,

51
00:02:29,199 --> 00:02:30,329
another animal dies.

52
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:32,739
You're making this office into
a Sarah McLaughlin commercial.

53
00:02:32,773 --> 00:02:36,079
That's inaccurate and also
very dark for 8:00 AM.

54
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:38,450
I just need the paperwork
by the end of the day, please.

55
00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:40,220
And find another stapler.

56
00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:41,924
W-w-wait. You don't think
I've thought of that?

57
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:44,007
Because they're all broken.

58
00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:45,865
That's not possible.

59
00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,202
Oh my God!

60
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:50,240
This one's just a top?

61
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:51,874
What are you guys doing to these things?

62
00:02:51,899 --> 00:02:53,969
Okay, well, you don't need
a stapler to finish

63
00:02:53,994 --> 00:02:57,254
the paperwork, but I will
put in a written request

64
00:02:57,287 --> 00:02:58,557
to the supply warehouse.

65
00:02:58,591 --> 00:03:02,364
Can't you see?
We are hostages to bureaucracy.

66
00:03:02,398 --> 00:03:04,871
Filling out forms to get stuff we need

67
00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:07,266
to fill out forms we don't want to.

68
00:03:07,307 --> 00:03:08,811
We can't live like this!

69
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,681
We have to rise up!

70
00:03:10,715 --> 00:03:11,750
Who is with me?

71
00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:13,186
I'm not with you.

72
00:03:13,219 --> 00:03:14,689
Because it's a stapler.

73
00:03:14,889 --> 00:03:17,562
Just do your paperwork.

74
00:03:19,566 --> 00:03:20,568
I'm in.

75
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:22,906
You missed the moment, Patel.

76
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,610
I mean, we had momentum.

77
00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:28,316
Okay, that coffee cup snafu?
Way too close.

78
00:03:28,349 --> 00:03:30,320
Yes. Listen. Next time, I will make sure

79
00:03:30,353 --> 00:03:32,290
they don't write my name on both coffees

80
00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:33,401
when we have a sleepover.

81
00:03:33,426 --> 00:03:35,334
I am just really scared that
we're gonna get sloppy,

82
00:03:35,359 --> 00:03:36,548
and then people are gonna find out,

83
00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,469
and then I'm gonna
have to wear the scarlet P

84
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:39,700
for power dynamic imbalance.

85
00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:40,687
Okay, hey.

86
00:03:40,712 --> 00:03:41,941
You're spiraling a little bit.

87
00:03:41,966 --> 00:03:43,968
Might be the gallon of coffee
you drink every day, huh?

88
00:03:44,048 --> 00:03:45,719
I'm literally vibrating right now.

89
00:03:45,785 --> 00:03:48,129
That's 'cause you're
a candy-ass green tea boy.

90
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,992
I'm so sorry. I think I'm in withdrawal.

91
00:03:51,017 --> 00:03:53,233
It's okay. Victoria's
the only one that knows,

92
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,244
and she's a vault.

93
00:03:54,269 --> 00:03:56,039
Yes, but that's only
'cause she doesn't have

94
00:03:56,072 --> 00:03:57,942
anyone to gossip with.
I mean, it's the exponential

95
00:03:57,982 --> 00:03:59,037
rule of gossip.

96
00:03:59,062 --> 00:04:01,415
When two people know something,
they talk, someone overhears,

97
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,921
and then the rumor mill
is fully operational.

98
00:04:03,955 --> 00:04:04,989
Oh, God.

99
00:04:04,990 --> 00:04:05,890
Hello.

100
00:04:05,917 --> 00:04:07,583
What the hell was that
coffee cup fiasco?

101
00:04:07,608 --> 00:04:09,909
Might as well take your tops
off and motorboat each other.

102
00:04:09,934 --> 00:04:11,570
You guys are so lucky that I have no one

103
00:04:11,604 --> 00:04:13,338
to talk to about this.
If I could, I would.

104
00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:14,383
I'd be yappin'.

105
00:04:14,408 --> 00:04:16,279
What did I just say?
Exponential rule of gossip.

106
00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:17,281
She did just say this.

107
00:04:17,315 --> 00:04:18,985
Lock it up. Okay?

108
00:04:19,018 --> 00:04:20,587
And stagger your exits.

109
00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:22,456
- We know.
- Okay, we're not that sloppy.

110
00:04:22,852 --> 00:04:23,987
Hey, Truck Eight.

111
00:04:24,012 --> 00:04:26,398
I just got a call from
Wellington Prep and they...

112
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:27,535
Do they want my blood?

113
00:04:27,569 --> 00:04:29,437
I paid my tuition, I know I did!

114
00:04:29,438 --> 00:04:32,277
Actually, there's a loose
squirrel in the building.

115
00:04:32,310 --> 00:04:34,014
Oh, well, how did the squirrel
get in for free?

116
00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:35,449
Dude, talk about something else.

117
00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:36,652
Please. Let it go.

118
00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,456
Yeah, Patel, I know
that's your kid's school.

119
00:04:38,489 --> 00:04:40,561
Do you want the call, or is that weird?

120
00:04:40,594 --> 00:04:42,599
No, I want it. I 100 percent want it,

121
00:04:42,632 --> 00:04:44,532
actually, 'cause I can't wait
to go and see the...

122
00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:45,746
- Addy?
- No.

123
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:46,671
God... no.

124
00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:48,544
There's a cannon that
they fire at high noon.

125
00:04:48,577 --> 00:04:50,812
Right? They should point it at
the squirrel and save us a trip.

126
00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:52,878
But then we'd wanna see
that too, wouldn't we?

127
00:04:52,919 --> 00:04:54,139
That'd be nice.

128
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,833
I finally got the rhythm
for this hold music down,

129
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,068
watch this.

130
00:05:02,128 --> 00:05:04,442
So, you're still on hold
with the supply warehouse?

131
00:05:04,475 --> 00:05:06,847
Supply warehouse?
No. What are you doing?

132
00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:08,783
We're cutting through
the red tape of bureaucracy

133
00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:10,921
with a 10-year-old
pair of rusty safety scissors.

134
00:05:10,922 --> 00:05:12,911
You do not call the supply warehouse.

135
00:05:12,936 --> 00:05:14,529
Okay, Arnie, the warehouse manager

136
00:05:14,562 --> 00:05:16,499
has to be handled very delicately,

137
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,903
or he buries your request
at the bottom of the pile.

138
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,907
I'm gonna get this done.
That's why you brought me in.

139
00:05:20,908 --> 00:05:22,778
I didn't bring you in. Jiminy crickets,

140
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:25,283
I am this close to getting
the Scandinavian label maker

141
00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:26,986
that I requested four months ago.

142
00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:28,089
It does fonts.

143
00:05:28,123 --> 00:05:30,079
And... are we in Blue Man Group?

144
00:05:30,104 --> 00:05:31,797
Could you just stop drumming maybe?

145
00:05:31,830 --> 00:05:33,667
Sorry. I forgot I was doing it, so...

146
00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,905
10:38. Good time for a second lunch.

147
00:05:35,938 --> 00:05:37,485
Play me out, then follow.

148
00:05:39,884 --> 00:05:41,650
Whoa! This place is so nice.

149
00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:44,307
All of the toilet stalls
still had their doors.

150
00:05:45,124 --> 00:05:46,392
Vice Principal Richardson.

151
00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:47,494
- Hello.
- Nice to see you.

152
00:05:47,528 --> 00:05:49,933
Don't worry, we've, uh,
captured this interloper.

153
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,770
You, straight to detention!

154
00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:53,440
Mr. Patel, I'm glad you're here,

155
00:05:53,473 --> 00:05:55,410
and not just for the rabid squirrel.

156
00:05:55,443 --> 00:05:57,314
Oh, no, this squirrel isn't rabid.

157
00:05:57,347 --> 00:05:58,718
She's just in heat.

158
00:05:58,751 --> 00:06:00,722
Probably ran in here
to hide from all the males.

159
00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:02,691
I wanted to express my condolences

160
00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:03,934
on the loss of your uncle.

161
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:05,832
I hope Addy's back in school soon.

162
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,324
Well, thank-thank you
so much for saying that.

163
00:06:08,349 --> 00:06:09,819
I will pass it on to her.

164
00:06:10,406 --> 00:06:11,383
Good seeing you.

165
00:06:11,408 --> 00:06:13,113
I didn't know your uncle died.
I'm so sorry.

166
00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:14,411
Oh, he's perfectly alive.

167
00:06:14,436 --> 00:06:16,418
I just didn't want her
to know that I'm raising

168
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:17,855
a filthy little liar.

169
00:06:17,856 --> 00:06:18,972
- No.
- Mm-hmm.

170
00:06:20,123 --> 00:06:22,895
She's at a muffler shop.
That little... no.

171
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,537
It's moving. She's at a... a boutique.

172
00:06:25,538 --> 00:06:27,475
Addy's skipping school to go shopping.

173
00:06:27,509 --> 00:06:29,410
Maybe I do like her.

174
00:06:29,411 --> 00:06:31,115
Nah. I don't.

175
00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,552
So, I had a crazy idea.

176
00:06:32,586 --> 00:06:34,688
For lunch, instead of going to a bar

177
00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:36,726
and watching TV like we usually do,

178
00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:39,532
we get a booth,
maybe make a little eye contact.

179
00:06:39,559 --> 00:06:41,765
- Talk about...
- Shred, we're not going to lunch.

180
00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:43,235
We have our most dangerous assignment.

181
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:44,676
- What?
- Acquiring a state-issued

182
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:46,547
eight dollar stapler without paperwork.

183
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:49,390
Emily specifically said
not to talk to Arnie.

184
00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:51,589
You know, blind devotion
to me used to be

185
00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,744
your greatest quality,
but something changed.

186
00:06:54,027 --> 00:06:55,192
Something shifted.

187
00:06:55,217 --> 00:06:57,053
Like, when did you start
drinking espresso?

188
00:06:57,078 --> 00:06:59,133
I'm very cosmopolitan, actually.

189
00:06:59,158 --> 00:07:01,743
You think that focaccia is a country.

190
00:07:01,776 --> 00:07:04,432
Six espresso shots
is Emily's unhinged order.

191
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:08,189
No, no, no. T'was but a barista's error.

192
00:07:08,222 --> 00:07:09,433
Wait, and another thing.

193
00:07:09,458 --> 00:07:11,663
You used to spend, I'd say
80 percent of our truck rides

194
00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:12,732
pining over Emily.

195
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,502
But now that you're both single,

196
00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,604
not a peep.

197
00:07:15,638 --> 00:07:17,809
No. No, I'm just over her, man.

198
00:07:17,842 --> 00:07:20,681
Okay, like I-I watched her
blow her nose and look at it.

199
00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:22,084
It was freakin' gross.

200
00:07:22,417 --> 00:07:24,790
Does espresso make you sweat? Is that...

201
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,193
- What?
- Where'd you get that?

202
00:07:27,194 --> 00:07:28,598
From home.

203
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:31,162
That's like an adult, regular bandage.

204
00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,439
You only wear Ninja Turtles.

205
00:07:33,473 --> 00:07:34,708
Whose is that?

206
00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:35,911
Mine.

207
00:07:35,945 --> 00:07:36,980
Emily's.

208
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:39,858
You're having secret sex with the boss.

209
00:07:43,527 --> 00:07:44,427
Ahhh!

210
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:47,433
I'll take that as confirmation!

211
00:07:50,708 --> 00:07:53,614
Okay. Thank you for picking me up.

212
00:07:53,648 --> 00:07:55,685
That hurt a lot more
than I thought it would.

213
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,231
All right, here's the deal.

214
00:07:57,256 --> 00:08:00,460
I'm gonna need you to not say
anything about me and Emily.

215
00:08:00,493 --> 00:08:03,066
You are underestimating
just how disinterested

216
00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:04,276
I am in your love life.

217
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:06,840
Yeah, brother, I need you
to sheath that sarcasm sword,

218
00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:10,012
and I need you to promise me
you won't tell anybody,

219
00:08:10,013 --> 00:08:11,087
especially Emily.

220
00:08:11,112 --> 00:08:12,733
This whole thing's
already got her on edge.

221
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:14,093
Oh, I won't tell.

222
00:08:14,768 --> 00:08:16,960
I mean, if you go
to the warehouse with me.

223
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:18,796
Frank. Blackmail?

224
00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:20,954
Come on, you're better than that.

225
00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:22,682
I'm not.

226
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,582
Hi, Frank Shaw. Precinct 22.

227
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:29,518
This won't take long, just need a box of

228
00:08:29,519 --> 00:08:31,256
full strip staplers in tundra gray.

229
00:08:32,351 --> 00:08:35,230
Interesting. I didn't see
a requisition form come through.

230
00:08:35,263 --> 00:08:36,298
No, I didn't submit one.

231
00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:37,798
Not really a paperwork kinda guy.

232
00:08:37,823 --> 00:08:38,937
That's unfortunate.

233
00:08:38,971 --> 00:08:40,974
I mean, is it necessary? It's just a...

234
00:08:40,975 --> 00:08:42,632
stupid piece of paper.

235
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,986
Now you insult my forms.

236
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:50,126
I'm gonna have to politely
ask you to leave.

237
00:08:50,622 --> 00:08:51,723
Or?

238
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:54,034
Or...

239
00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:05,599
Um, sorry, this is
kinda freaking me out.

240
00:09:05,624 --> 00:09:07,594
Can we just leave and maybe
I'll buy you a stapler?

241
00:09:07,595 --> 00:09:09,210
I'm in the middle of
a staring contest right now,

242
00:09:09,235 --> 00:09:11,703
and you just made me realize
how dry my eyes are, damn it.

243
00:09:11,704 --> 00:09:13,540
- Yep.
- Let's go.

244
00:09:13,573 --> 00:09:14,814
Are you sure she's here?

245
00:09:14,839 --> 00:09:16,940
'Cause, like, these clothes
are quite cool.

246
00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:19,217
See, that blue's so interes... oh.

247
00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,154
Hi, ma'am. Can I offer you something

248
00:09:21,155 --> 00:09:22,892
from our you should be
in school collection?

249
00:09:22,925 --> 00:09:24,729
I knew I should have left
my phone in my locker.

250
00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:27,326
You tell me why you're not
in school right now,

251
00:09:27,351 --> 00:09:30,399
or I'm gonna do the K-pop dance
right here for everyone.

252
00:09:30,741 --> 00:09:33,714
- Oh, you don't...
- Oh my God. Stop!

253
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,316
Fine. I'm being bullied.

254
00:09:38,056 --> 00:09:39,257
By Zoe.

255
00:09:40,762 --> 00:09:43,241
She's, like, the most popular
girl in school.

256
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:45,705
Dad, her mom lives in France.

257
00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:47,374
Yeah, and I live in constant fear

258
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,743
that your pants are on fire

259
00:09:48,777 --> 00:09:50,379
because you are a liar, liar...

260
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:51,603
- What?
- Can I talk to you

261
00:09:51,628 --> 00:09:52,865
- Yeah.
- by the socks for one second.

262
00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:54,228
I can see exactly what you're doing.

263
00:09:54,254 --> 00:09:55,499
- Stay there.
- Over here.

264
00:09:55,524 --> 00:09:57,928
- These are lovely, aren't they?
- What are... what are you doing?

265
00:09:57,929 --> 00:09:59,666
Addy's 100 percent getting bullied.

266
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:00,910
Oh, don't be a sucker.

267
00:10:00,935 --> 00:10:03,272
She just wants to waste my
money in a different location.

268
00:10:03,306 --> 00:10:05,073
You wanna know how I know this?

269
00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:07,055
And it might blow your mind.

270
00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:08,784
I was a bully.

271
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,913
Yeah, that's...
I just assumed that you were.

272
00:10:10,938 --> 00:10:13,124
And I would've gone
after Addy on day one.

273
00:10:13,125 --> 00:10:14,127
Look at her.

274
00:10:15,329 --> 00:10:16,229
Yeah.

275
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,879
She's wearing both halves of
a best friends necklace.

276
00:10:18,904 --> 00:10:22,058
And I just see a really normal
girl with a really hot dad.

277
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:24,247
Okay. I know what I'm talking about

278
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,683
'cause I was a monster.

279
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,955
They wanted to make
a documentary about me.

280
00:10:33,064 --> 00:10:34,233
Okay.

281
00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:36,640
- Grr!
- Well...

282
00:10:36,673 --> 00:10:37,942
yeah, it's a tough break.

283
00:10:37,976 --> 00:10:39,945
But, hey, let's go get that bro lunch.

284
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,050
We're not going to lunch
until I pry open the window

285
00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:44,618
of government inefficiency
and take what I deserve.

286
00:10:44,643 --> 00:10:46,693
Wait, are you talking about
breaking and entering?

287
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,998
A B & E?
You're talking B & Es right now?

288
00:10:49,031 --> 00:10:50,701
I can't do a B & E, Frank.

289
00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:51,863
Oh, yes, you can.

290
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:54,284
Unless you want me to tell your
very neurotic girlfriend

291
00:10:54,309 --> 00:10:56,712
that I know a secret
that'll rip her world apart.

292
00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:58,101
What is your end game, Frank?

293
00:10:58,126 --> 00:10:59,710
I mean, let's say you get the stapler.

294
00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:01,255
You're still gonna have
to do that paperwork.

295
00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:02,324
No, I won't.

296
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,727
I got thousands of excuses.

297
00:11:03,761 --> 00:11:05,964
Hand cramp, religious holiday,
back cramp.

298
00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:08,169
I can kick this down
the road until retirement.

299
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:09,805
You're insane, brother.

300
00:11:09,806 --> 00:11:11,421
And it sounds like
you're cramping a lot.

301
00:11:11,446 --> 00:11:13,132
We gotta get you some
potassium supplements

302
00:11:13,157 --> 00:11:14,816
- or something.
- What I gotta get...

303
00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:16,119
is an accomplice.

304
00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:17,387
Fine.

305
00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,057
Let's get this over with.

306
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,833
Okay. You got this, kid.

307
00:11:23,867 --> 00:11:25,202
Eww, God. Dad.

308
00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:26,205
All right.

309
00:11:26,238 --> 00:11:27,440
Stay strong.

310
00:11:27,441 --> 00:11:28,442
Aww.

311
00:11:28,475 --> 00:11:29,375
Yeah.

312
00:11:29,444 --> 00:11:31,829
I really hope she crumbles,
because if she transfers schools,

313
00:11:31,854 --> 00:11:33,117
I save so much money.

314
00:11:33,142 --> 00:11:35,189
You don't know what Zoe
could do to her long-term.

315
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:37,695
To this day, I still get
messages from women saying that

316
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,764
Little Vicky ruined their lives.

317
00:11:39,765 --> 00:11:42,069
Well, I certainly don't
want that for Addy.

318
00:11:42,070 --> 00:11:43,031
Yeah.

319
00:11:43,056 --> 00:11:44,809
God, you know, it just wrecks me that

320
00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,113
all this swagger, like,
skipped a generation.

321
00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:48,670
- Right?
- The, the swagger...

322
00:11:48,695 --> 00:11:50,566
Zoe. Lookin' fire.

323
00:11:52,357 --> 00:11:53,535
That must be her.

324
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,463
You know what? I'm gonna go
talk to the vice principal,

325
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,426
- ask her to make an announcement
- Stop. Stop. Sweetie.

326
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,404
to the entire school
and then they all find out...

327
00:11:59,438 --> 00:12:00,674
It is like you have a playbook

328
00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:02,377
on how to create scarring memories.

329
00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:03,593
You've gotta stop.

330
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:05,635
I'll talk to Zoe.

331
00:12:06,605 --> 00:12:08,837
Cool girl to cool girl, you know.

332
00:12:11,435 --> 00:12:13,572
Why are you doing that with your hair?

333
00:12:17,074 --> 00:12:18,209
Hey, girl.

334
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,846
You are so dope.

335
00:12:19,879 --> 00:12:21,348
I love, I love that fit.

336
00:12:21,387 --> 00:12:22,725
Um...

337
00:12:22,752 --> 00:12:23,705
Question.

338
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,222
And this is, like, super cringey.

339
00:12:25,223 --> 00:12:26,144
Um...

340
00:12:26,169 --> 00:12:27,493
Do you think you could be, like,

341
00:12:27,528 --> 00:12:29,532
chiller to Addy?

342
00:12:31,368 --> 00:12:32,705
Are you somebody's mom?

343
00:12:32,739 --> 00:12:33,866
Is somebody missing their mom?

344
00:12:33,891 --> 00:12:35,711
Nope. No, I'm not that
much older than you.

345
00:12:35,745 --> 00:12:37,375
I'm, like, borderline big sister age.

346
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,850
Maybe you need to spend less time

347
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,553
looking up teen slang on ChatGPT

348
00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:42,959
because it's giving you a tech neck.

349
00:12:42,992 --> 00:12:44,428
Wrinkles in the front.

350
00:12:44,462 --> 00:12:45,797
Hump in the back.

351
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,200
You're a humpback whale.

352
00:12:47,226 --> 00:12:48,303
Humpback.

353
00:12:48,341 --> 00:12:51,515
- Humpback, humpback, humpback!
- Don't chant. Don't start to chant.

354
00:12:51,543 --> 00:12:54,882
Humpback, humpback, humpback!

355
00:12:54,916 --> 00:12:55,985
What did you do?

356
00:12:56,018 --> 00:12:57,387
I hate my neck!

357
00:13:01,963 --> 00:13:03,920
God. You gotta push, Shred.

358
00:13:03,945 --> 00:13:05,537
- With your feet.
- I am pushing!

359
00:13:05,571 --> 00:13:07,206
Put your hands above your head.

360
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:08,275
I am.

361
00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:11,448
Perfect execution.

362
00:13:12,952 --> 00:13:14,422
Okay. I'm up here.

363
00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:16,384
Frank, where's your hand?
Frank, your hand?

364
00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,897
My relationship's exposed.

365
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,128
I'm being blackmailed.
Committing a crime.

366
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,806
Caffeine's a gateway drug, Frank.

367
00:13:23,807 --> 00:13:25,309
There they are.

368
00:13:25,342 --> 00:13:26,546
This is it.

369
00:13:30,988 --> 00:13:32,632
And preloaded.

370
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:45,917
Shred?

371
00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:47,621
Frank, that was too close.

372
00:13:49,091 --> 00:13:50,126
Stop!

373
00:13:51,629 --> 00:13:53,199
- Stop!
- I can't!

374
00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:54,134
Stop.

375
00:13:54,903 --> 00:13:56,773
I asked you to leave.

376
00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:58,306
He asked you to leave.

377
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:01,883
Now you don't get to leave.

378
00:14:01,916 --> 00:14:03,085
Now, you don't get to...

379
00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:04,795
- Johnny, let me have my moment.
- I'm sorry.

380
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:07,528
Now you don't get to leave
and swarm. Unbelievable.

381
00:14:07,562 --> 00:14:09,031
Frank? Swarm?

382
00:14:19,351 --> 00:14:22,290
All I wanted was a little
bit of lunch with my bro.

383
00:14:22,323 --> 00:14:23,358
Soup.

384
00:14:23,392 --> 00:14:24,661
Half a sandwich.

385
00:14:24,662 --> 00:14:25,898
Regular stuff.

386
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,401
And now I'm here.

387
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,771
Prisoner of a war I wanted no part of.

388
00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:32,135
We are all prisoners
in the war against bureaucracy.

389
00:14:32,176 --> 00:14:34,114
I'm glad you're finally
figuring that out.

390
00:14:34,735 --> 00:14:36,404
Look upon my things.

391
00:14:36,753 --> 00:14:39,022
Look upon my beautiful things

392
00:14:39,023 --> 00:14:40,627
and despair.

393
00:14:42,264 --> 00:14:45,819
You know, I'm pretty sure
this counts as kidnapping!

394
00:14:46,304 --> 00:14:47,204
I mean,

395
00:14:47,237 --> 00:14:49,052
I don't wanna victim blame,
but we did break in.

396
00:14:49,077 --> 00:14:50,310
It's kind of a legal wash.

397
00:14:50,335 --> 00:14:52,417
The squeak-less dry erase markers.

398
00:14:52,451 --> 00:14:53,954
Magnets so strong

399
00:14:53,987 --> 00:14:56,251
they could hold up even your ego.

400
00:14:56,757 --> 00:14:58,396
And it could've all been yours

401
00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:01,903
if you just filled out
the proper paperwork.

402
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,084
Arnie?

403
00:15:05,109 --> 00:15:07,498
Um, it's Emily from, uh, Precinct 22.

404
00:15:07,523 --> 00:15:08,949
Thank you so much for calling me

405
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,186
instead of the police, and...

406
00:15:10,219 --> 00:15:12,190
I'm so sorry about Shred and Frank.

407
00:15:12,223 --> 00:15:14,061
It was disappointing.

408
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:16,843
Oh, it is definitely disappointing,

409
00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:18,639
and I certainly hope it won't affect

410
00:15:18,664 --> 00:15:22,592
what I feel is a wonderful
working relationship.

411
00:15:23,447 --> 00:15:26,459
You put in for the Copenhagen
label maker, didn't you?

412
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,592
Yes, I did, and I am excited.

413
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:30,627
Ah...

414
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:32,362
Ah! Hmm.

415
00:15:32,842 --> 00:15:34,301
- Hmm?
- Oh. Yep, that's the one.

416
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,973
That's me. I filled it out in,
uh, blue ballpoint ink,

417
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:38,610
just like you requested.

418
00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:42,083
Oh, God. No.

419
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:47,503
Oh, God.

420
00:15:47,829 --> 00:15:50,534
Realistically, I'm looking
at 2027, aren't I?

421
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,303
If things break your way.

422
00:15:52,738 --> 00:15:54,308
Mm-hmm.

423
00:15:54,609 --> 00:15:56,311
Well, that girl was mean.

424
00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:00,721
- Are you, uh...
- Trying to fix my hump?

425
00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:02,123
Yeah, I am.

426
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:03,727
Zoe destroyed me.

427
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,465
And now I know what all
the girls I tormented felt like.

428
00:16:06,708 --> 00:16:08,244
First time experiencing empathy?

429
00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:11,175
From this day forward,
I'm turning over a new leaf.

430
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:13,151
I'm never gonna be mean ever again.

431
00:16:13,378 --> 00:16:16,018
Well, you can't become
a better person just yet.

432
00:16:16,051 --> 00:16:17,688
We still gotta figure out
what to do with Zoe.

433
00:16:17,721 --> 00:16:18,940
Nah, I'm outta the game.

434
00:16:18,965 --> 00:16:20,994
It's just... it's not who I am anymore.

435
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:22,325
If she's making you feel like this,

436
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:24,401
imagine what she's doing
to all those kids at Wellington.

437
00:16:24,687 --> 00:16:27,025
We need to stop her for Addy.

438
00:16:28,242 --> 00:16:29,144
Meh.

439
00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:30,822
Okay, well, maybe we need to do this

440
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:33,478
for all the kids
tormented by Little Vicky.

441
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,657
So, what do you say?

442
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:37,893
One last job?

443
00:16:42,413 --> 00:16:44,474
Why do we need to find Zoe's car?

444
00:16:44,509 --> 00:16:47,045
How about we leave
the revenge to Little Vicky.

445
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,251
Found it. Now what?

446
00:16:49,855 --> 00:16:51,757
Oh, great. I don't even
have to break in.

447
00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:52,825
Huh?

448
00:16:53,059 --> 00:16:55,731
Wait until the male squirrels
get a whiff of these pheromones.

449
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,100
Wha... nah, it's not gonna...

450
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,237
Come and get it, boys!

451
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:06,198
You're a sick genius.

452
00:17:08,389 --> 00:17:10,392
Ah, this is so good.

453
00:17:12,063 --> 00:17:14,234
The real prank's on these horny boys.

454
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:18,342
All that anticipation just to
end up alone with a towel.

455
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,045
Hittin' too close to home?

456
00:17:20,046 --> 00:17:21,315
Oh, yeah.

457
00:17:21,348 --> 00:17:23,952
You know, I expected this
out of you, Frank.

458
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:27,086
You expected us to get kidnapped
by an office supply warlord

459
00:17:27,111 --> 00:17:28,254
in pleated pants?

460
00:17:28,328 --> 00:17:31,416
Never mind. But, Shred?
I am really disappointed in you.

461
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:33,364
I have been working
my tush off for months

462
00:17:33,389 --> 00:17:34,807
to get that label maker,
and you know it.

463
00:17:34,808 --> 00:17:36,751
My drawers, they're unlabeled.

464
00:17:36,776 --> 00:17:39,176
My file folders,
they're handwritten tabs.

465
00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:41,487
The spot on my desk where
a label maker should be,

466
00:17:41,488 --> 00:17:43,492
that's empty, Shred.
There's nothing there.

467
00:17:43,527 --> 00:17:44,634
Emily, he knows.

468
00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:48,134
That I'm your boss
and you're my employee

469
00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,404
in a normal working relationship?

470
00:17:49,438 --> 00:17:52,671
Emily, he knows
we're star-crossed lovers.

471
00:17:53,145 --> 00:17:55,283
What? You... you told him?

472
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,053
No, I didn't tell him,
he figured it out.

473
00:17:57,086 --> 00:17:58,572
He's too good at noticing.

474
00:18:00,728 --> 00:18:02,397
Wow.

475
00:18:02,430 --> 00:18:03,533
Okay.

476
00:18:03,566 --> 00:18:04,510
That's that.

477
00:18:04,535 --> 00:18:06,872
Everybody's gonna find out,
and oh, my God,

478
00:18:06,906 --> 00:18:09,378
I am the Harvey Weinstein
of Seattle government.

479
00:18:09,411 --> 00:18:11,481
So, I am so glad that
I have a pre-written apology

480
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,085
to the city on my Notes app.

481
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,456
- Oh, my God.
- No. No. Hey. No.

482
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:17,392
If you go down, I'm going down with you.

483
00:18:17,393 --> 00:18:19,651
Although I don't... I don't
think we should use the phrase

484
00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:21,468
"going down" in any official capacity.

485
00:18:21,502 --> 00:18:23,305
All right. All right, guys. Guys.

486
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:26,071
I'm not gonna tell anyone.

487
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:28,683
As long as...

488
00:18:29,017 --> 00:18:30,319
As long as what?

489
00:18:30,352 --> 00:18:31,925
Don't take the bait, Emily.

490
00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:34,261
Okay, it's a slippery slope.
He never stops taking.

491
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:35,664
I'm a man of honor,

492
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:38,729
and I would never abuse this new power.

493
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:39,747
Nuh-uh.

494
00:18:39,772 --> 00:18:41,802
He says stuff like that
and he doesn't mean it.

495
00:18:41,827 --> 00:18:44,173
Quiet, the big boys are talking.

496
00:18:44,214 --> 00:18:45,800
All right, Frank.

497
00:18:46,257 --> 00:18:47,727
Name your price.

498
00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:56,966
Remember, those have my name on them,

499
00:18:56,991 --> 00:18:59,359
so half-ass it the same way I would.

500
00:18:59,461 --> 00:19:00,522
Wait, remind me.

501
00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,383
Why are we doing
Frank's paperwork, again?

502
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,454
Yeah, well, you know, Frank's rescues

503
00:19:04,487 --> 00:19:05,791
really benefit all of us.

504
00:19:05,824 --> 00:19:07,126
So, it only makes sense that

505
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:08,663
we should all share in the act of...

506
00:19:08,696 --> 00:19:11,201
Look, I don't know, I'll just
buy you guys pizza, okay?

507
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:13,840
For myself, I will have
a green goddess salad

508
00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:15,376
with dressing on the side.

509
00:19:15,944 --> 00:19:17,279
Uh-huh.

510
00:19:18,856 --> 00:19:21,822
Addy says the whole school
thinks I squirreled Zoe's car,

511
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,225
so now I'm cool!

512
00:19:23,259 --> 00:19:25,196
- We did it, we did it!
- Take that, Zoe.

513
00:19:25,229 --> 00:19:26,273
Being popular is the best.

514
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,436
It's like being mayor,
but you have actual power.

515
00:19:28,469 --> 00:19:30,306
Good thing high school
goes by prison rules!

516
00:19:30,339 --> 00:19:31,776
Whoo! We did it!

517
00:19:35,316 --> 00:19:36,419
Frank.

518
00:19:37,008 --> 00:19:39,943
I saw that little look
between you, Shred and Emily.

519
00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:41,428
I know you know.

520
00:19:41,461 --> 00:19:43,231
- I know nothin'.
- Right. Yeah.

521
00:19:43,232 --> 00:19:44,572
I forgot you're a terrible detective.

522
00:19:44,597 --> 00:19:47,440
You'd never be able to piece
that together on your own.

523
00:19:47,473 --> 00:19:48,373
Okay.

524
00:19:48,837 --> 00:19:50,345
I knew for months before they told me,

525
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:51,456
but that's not a confirmation.

526
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:53,621
You have to gossip with me
because I have had nobody

527
00:19:53,646 --> 00:19:55,686
- to talk to about this.
- And you still don't.

528
00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:57,547
No! You're no fun.

529
00:19:58,228 --> 00:19:59,797
All right. Yeah.

530
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:01,769
They're not the worst couple
in the world.

531
00:20:01,802 --> 00:20:03,013
Wow. That's so lovely.

532
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,611
But your best man speech will
have to be better than that.

533
00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:07,782
Well, obviously,
I would be the officiant.

534
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:08,905
If they make it that far.

535
00:20:08,930 --> 00:20:11,067
But office romances never end well.

536
00:20:11,918 --> 00:20:13,827
I think if it's for the right person,

537
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:15,427
it's worth the risk.

538
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:19,532
Imagine risking it all for Shred.

539
00:20:20,882 --> 00:20:22,711
I'm sensing a little bit of jealousy.

540
00:20:22,745 --> 00:20:23,688
Are you jealous?

541
00:20:23,713 --> 00:20:25,132
I could steal him from her
in a heartbeat.

542
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:27,385
Only if you're willing to do
what Emily does with him.

543
00:20:27,386 --> 00:20:30,258
Which I'm assuming is some
very intense hand-holding.

544
00:20:30,259 --> 00:20:31,695
See ya, Sands.

545
00:20:31,696 --> 00:20:34,300
I love your backpack.
What time do you jump?

546
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,703
Shut up!

547
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:42,495
- Hey.
- Uh...

548
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,490
I was hoping I could have off...

549
00:20:45,524 --> 00:20:46,668
I know what you're doing.

550
00:20:46,693 --> 00:20:49,698
You're gonna blackmail me
to get what you want... forever.

551
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,300
Great. You get it.

552
00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:53,606
So, about the next 36 Fridays.

553
00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:55,576
See, that's where you're wrong,
because I am, in fact,

554
00:20:55,577 --> 00:20:56,912
reverse blackmailing you.

555
00:20:56,946 --> 00:20:58,617
Shred, lights!

556
00:20:59,184 --> 00:21:01,789
Sorry, Frank, but also... ha-ha!

557
00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:04,729
The greatest

558
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:09,437
magicians have something to learn

559
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:12,409
from Mr. Mistoffelees'

560
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:16,685
magical turn!

561
00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:19,625
Oh! Well, I never!

562
00:21:19,659 --> 00:21:23,030
Was there ever a cat so clever

563
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:27,507
as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?

564
00:21:28,710 --> 00:21:29,946
Oh! We...

565
00:21:29,979 --> 00:21:31,615
Should I keep going?

566
00:21:32,350 --> 00:21:33,586
Very good.

567
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:43,046
CREDITS