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00:00:28,803 --> 00:00:33,975
credits

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00:00:37,636 --> 00:00:40,683
All right, people,
it's almost Thanksgiving,

3
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:44,712
and that means the annual
Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.

4
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:47,472
How is it that we haven't found
one sponsor

5
00:00:47,497 --> 00:00:49,673
to help pay for this event?

6
00:00:49,698 --> 00:00:52,459
South Park's just fallen
on hard times, Mayor.

7
00:00:52,484 --> 00:00:54,138
Nobody's got the money.

8
00:00:54,163 --> 00:00:57,124
Tegridy Farms used to be
a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,

9
00:00:57,149 --> 00:01:00,241
but as you know, we've recently
all lost Tegridy.

10
00:01:00,266 --> 00:01:02,311
So I'm afraid
we just can't help.

11
00:01:02,336 --> 00:01:04,599
What about
the City Asian Pop Up Store?

12
00:01:04,624 --> 00:01:07,124
Can't they help sponsor
this year's race?

13
00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:09,889
How City Asian Pop Up
pay for Turkey Trot?

14
00:01:09,914 --> 00:01:11,437
We gotta pay tariff!

15
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:13,290
We more fucked than anybody!

16
00:01:13,315 --> 00:01:15,491
Let's just face it, Mayor,
South Park businesses

17
00:01:15,516 --> 00:01:18,334
are dying and a lot of good
people have lost their jobs.

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00:01:19,028 --> 00:01:21,726
Trash?
Anybody got trash?

19
00:01:21,751 --> 00:01:23,655
Oh, yeah, here's some.
Bank shot!

20
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There has to be a solution,
people.

21
00:01:27,529 --> 00:01:29,617
The Turkey Trot is
the one time of year

22
00:01:29,642 --> 00:01:32,233
this town comes together
as a community.

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We all need it now,
more than ever.

24
00:01:34,953 --> 00:01:37,655
Well, of course,
there is someone

25
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who'd be willing to give
South Park a bunch of money.

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I mean, they're giving money
to everyone else.

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Why not us?

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My God.

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That's it!

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This Thanksgiving morning,

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lace up for holiday fun
and tradition.

32
00:02:02,451 --> 00:02:05,733
It's the 28th annual
South Park Turkey Trot.

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00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,295
Sponsored by...

34
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,886
Saudi Arabia!

35
00:02:15,584 --> 00:02:17,978
It's a 5K race
absolutely stuffed

36
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:19,764
with Thanksgiving traditions.

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And the first one across
the finish line

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wins their team $5,000!

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00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,155
Sign up your team now!

40
00:02:35,207 --> 00:02:37,061
All ages are welcome!

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00:02:37,086 --> 00:02:39,608
Disparaging remarks towards
the Saudi Royal family

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are strictly prohibited.

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00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:45,195
Start your Thanksgiving with
this time-honored tradition.

44
00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:47,639
The South Park Turkey Trot.

45
00:02:55,539 --> 00:02:57,758
$5,000, you guys.

46
00:02:57,783 --> 00:02:59,263
The winner of this year's
Turkey Trot

47
00:02:59,288 --> 00:03:01,812
gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.

48
00:03:01,837 --> 00:03:04,350
Like, if anybody's gonna
get money from Saudi Arabia,

49
00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:05,681
it should be us.

50
00:03:08,179 --> 00:03:10,019
And just one person
has to win the race

51
00:03:10,044 --> 00:03:11,444
and your whole team
gets the money?

52
00:03:11,469 --> 00:03:13,467
- Yeah!
- Dude, that is crazy!

53
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:16,819
We should just get a bunch
of kids on our team,

54
00:03:16,844 --> 00:03:18,858
and then the chances of one of
us winning is way better.

55
00:03:18,883 --> 00:03:21,256
Yeah, but then you gotta
split the prize money more ways.

56
00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:22,249
It's true, man.

57
00:03:22,274 --> 00:03:24,800
I say we keep our team to four,
five runners, max.

58
00:03:25,189 --> 00:03:27,256
Nobody said we wanted you
on the team.

59
00:03:27,281 --> 00:03:28,756
Yeah, you kinda slow us down.

60
00:03:28,781 --> 00:03:30,218
Oh, no, no, no, trust me.

61
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,506
You want me on the racing team.

62
00:03:32,531 --> 00:03:35,229
I happen to be an expert
in race science, you guys.

63
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I know a way to give our team
an optimal winning advantage.

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Tolkien!

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00:03:42,564 --> 00:03:43,652
Hey, man.

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00:03:43,677 --> 00:03:44,852
Listen, I was, uh...

67
00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,410
I was just wondering whose team

68
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,611
you're thinking of being on
for the big Turkey Trot.

69
00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:50,288
- Turkey Trot?
- You know, the big footrace

70
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,319
Thanksgiving morning?

71
00:03:51,344 --> 00:03:53,709
First place wins 5,000 bucks
for his whole team.

72
00:03:54,373 --> 00:03:56,389
Oh.
I'm not really a runner.

73
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,491
Yeah, right.

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00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:00,303
Of course you're a runner,
Tolkien.

75
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,389
Sorry, guys,
just give me one second.

76
00:04:02,469 --> 00:04:04,561
- What the hell is he doing?
- I don't know.

77
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All right, look, Tolkien,

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00:04:05,765 --> 00:04:07,549
I'm a racing science expert, OK?

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The data shows your race
always wins races.

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00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296
Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.
Tolkien.

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00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:14,889
Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.

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00:04:14,914 --> 00:04:16,326
If you don't want to race
for yourself,

83
00:04:16,351 --> 00:04:18,527
then do it for the needy...
Kenny and Stan.

84
00:04:18,552 --> 00:04:21,033
I mean, Stan's family
lost their home, dude.

85
00:04:21,242 --> 00:04:23,091
Those guys could really use
the money,

86
00:04:23,116 --> 00:04:25,283
and all the analytics show
that with you on the team,

87
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we can't lose.

88
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:29,331
Could you... could you just do it
for Thanksgiving?

89
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All right, fine.

90
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Yes? He said yes!

91
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,974
Jesus Christ, Mitch.

92
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,005
A $5,000 prize
for the Turkey Trot?

93
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:45,719
Everyone in town is gonna want
to do this race.

94
00:04:45,889 --> 00:04:48,326
I was kind of thinking of
signing the family up, sir.

95
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We could really use some of that
Saudi Arabian dough.

96
00:04:50,795 --> 00:04:52,896
Can't do it, Mitch.
We're gonna be busy on race day.

97
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:53,935
Sir!

98
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,482
The White house is calling
again.

99
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They're demanding
we release the prisoner.

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Tell them we're busy.

101
00:04:58,479 --> 00:04:59,839
But they said
if we don't comply,

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they're gonna send in
Pete Hegseth

103
00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:03,141
and the Department of War.

104
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,193
Who's Pete Hegseth?

105
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878
Yeah! Yeah!

106
00:05:15,823 --> 00:05:17,880
Hey, what's up, guys?
This is Pete Hegseth

107
00:05:17,905 --> 00:05:19,216
with the Department of War!

108
00:05:19,241 --> 00:05:22,490
We're here to infiltrate this
police station and extract a POI

109
00:05:22,515 --> 00:05:25,045
'cause that's what we do!

110
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At ease, soldier!

111
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The President of
the United States orders you

112
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to release custody of the
prisoner to me immediately.

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I warned you
I had powerful friends.

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Yeah, well, Totoro still
has to be processed

115
00:05:42,812 --> 00:05:44,146
and seen by a judge.

116
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:46,115
And we have a big Turkey Trot
to deal with,

117
00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:47,513
so it's gonna be a few days.

118
00:05:47,538 --> 00:05:49,623
Hey, man, I don't think
you understand.

119
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You're messing with
the Department of War!

120
00:05:52,610 --> 00:05:53,936
And we mean business.

121
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We don't stand down for anyone!

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Be sure to like and subscribe.

123
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,362
All right, let's do this!

124
00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:04,224
All right, I certainly don't
want to tangle with you guys.

125
00:06:04,327 --> 00:06:06,927
How about you just push
the secret button in the floor

126
00:06:06,952 --> 00:06:09,545
over here and the jail cell
doors will all open.

127
00:06:10,214 --> 00:06:12,054
- The secret button?
- Yeah, it's in the floor.

128
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,254
Right there, you see it?

129
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,084
It's right... there it is!
- Ah, ah, ahh!

130
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:18,451
Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.

131
00:06:18,608 --> 00:06:20,115
Oh, you...

132
00:06:20,239 --> 00:06:22,328
I dare you to do that again.

133
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049
OK, and did you already register

134
00:06:38,074 --> 00:06:39,554
your racing team online?

135
00:06:39,579 --> 00:06:41,799
Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.

136
00:06:41,824 --> 00:06:44,392
We're racing with
the Kiwanis Gun Club.

137
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,097
Yes, here you go.

138
00:06:46,122 --> 00:06:47,905
Good luck with the race,
happy Thanksgiving,

139
00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:50,455
and.

140
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:53,995
Uh, it's Mackey.
Mr. Mackey, mmkay.

141
00:06:54,020 --> 00:06:56,552
OK, Mr. Mackey,
and how many on your team?

142
00:06:56,577 --> 00:06:58,840
Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.

143
00:06:58,865 --> 00:07:02,129
I need that sweet Saudi Arabian
money all for myself.

144
00:07:02,154 --> 00:07:04,025
All right, guys,
we got our racing numbers.

145
00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:05,802
Damn, dude, there's so many
people signing up.

146
00:07:05,827 --> 00:07:06,872
How are we ever gonna win?

147
00:07:06,897 --> 00:07:07,942
Don't worry, you guys,

148
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:09,447
I've been scoping out
the competition.

149
00:07:09,661 --> 00:07:11,315
That group over there
is the Rotary Club.

150
00:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,231
They won last year, but
they're all, like, old now.

151
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,357
Over there is
the City Pop Up team.

152
00:07:15,382 --> 00:07:16,881
The race science says
they'll race smart,

153
00:07:16,906 --> 00:07:18,834
but not necessarily fast,
so we're good there.

154
00:07:18,859 --> 00:07:20,078
Oh, hey, Stan.

155
00:07:20,156 --> 00:07:21,826
You gonna do the Turkey Trot
this year?

156
00:07:21,851 --> 00:07:23,374
Yeah. You guys are too?

157
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,836
Hell yeah, we are!
$5,000!

158
00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,865
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
all four of you ladies

159
00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:29,892
have a really awesome chance
of winning.

160
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,919
There's actually five of us.

161
00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:33,427
Hey, guys, what's up?

162
00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:37,649
Well, we'll see you at the race.

163
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633
All right, see ya!

164
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,396
They're teaching race science
to girls now?

165
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,701
What the hell kind of country
are we living in?

166
00:07:47,013 --> 00:07:48,319
Commitment!

167
00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:49,646
Strength!

168
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,834
The ability to obliterate
our enemies!

169
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:56,245
That is the Department of War!

170
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913
What's up, guys?
I'm Pete Hegseth.

171
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,350
We're outside
this woke liberal town

172
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439
that is actually
defying our government,

173
00:08:03,464 --> 00:08:05,553
and nobody defies
the Department of War!

174
00:08:05,578 --> 00:08:08,233
Pete Hegseth will do
whatever it takes!

175
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:10,564
I'm here to kick bubblegum
and chew ass,

176
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:12,547
and I'm all outta ass.

177
00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:15,459
I'll do whatever's necessary
to get the job done!

178
00:08:16,293 --> 00:08:17,772
Oh, yeah, look at that!

179
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:20,344
That's the President of the
United States calling me,

180
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,369
right now!

181
00:08:21,394 --> 00:08:23,091
Yes, Mr. President?

182
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,460
Hegseth!

183
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983
What the fuck are you doing?

184
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029
Did you get Peter Thiel?

185
00:08:28,054 --> 00:08:30,420
No, sir, we were unable
to extract the prisoner.

186
00:08:30,445 --> 00:08:33,230
We were met with resistance from
the woke local police force.

187
00:08:33,311 --> 00:08:36,005
God damn it,
we gave you one job to do.

188
00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:38,959
We need Peter Thiel here
at the White house.

189
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,232
Sir, yes, sir!

190
00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:42,513
I'm gonna need the full might
of the Department of War!

191
00:08:42,538 --> 00:08:45,334
I'll need all our tanks
and guns and dudes!

192
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,662
Then you've got it.

193
00:08:46,687 --> 00:08:49,630
Just get us the prisoner,
no matter what it takes!

194
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,959
Hell yeah!

195
00:08:50,984 --> 00:08:53,818
And Hegseth, don't just make
a bunch of content.

196
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710
Like, actually go
and do something.

197
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,821
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.

198
00:09:00,846 --> 00:09:03,529
Yes, sir, Mr. President!
I will make this town pay!

199
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,980
God, he is such a douchebag.

200
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,912
All right, men, we'll have
a full army here by tomorrow.

201
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,378
And then that smalltown cop

202
00:09:13,403 --> 00:09:16,362
is gonna see
he messed with the wrong guy.

203
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,170
It's the morning
of the big race,

204
00:09:28,195 --> 00:09:30,849
and all of South Park
appears to have turned out

205
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,912
in the spirit of community.

206
00:09:32,937 --> 00:09:34,654
People are putting on
their numbers

207
00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,576
and rocking out
their festive costumes.

208
00:09:38,338 --> 00:09:40,138
I'm with Police Chief Harris,

209
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,687
and Chief, your guys have been
working overtime.

210
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:44,496
Yeah, well,
we just want to make sure

211
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:46,935
everyone has a safe
Thanksgiving morning.

212
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,528
We want people to stay hydrated
and be responsible.

213
00:09:49,553 --> 00:09:51,555
Let's have a good Turkey Trot.

214
00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,568
Now, of course, there's a lot
of money on the line

215
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,271
for the team of the race winner,

216
00:09:55,296 --> 00:09:58,691
and so some people
are turning to race science.

217
00:09:58,716 --> 00:10:00,259
That's right, you know,
a lot of people these days

218
00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:01,720
want to debunk science.

219
00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:03,302
You know,
vaccine's cause autism,

220
00:10:03,327 --> 00:10:04,981
jet fuel leaves chemtrails,

221
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:07,791
but when it comes to
racing science, it's science.

222
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,630
Certainly a lot of runners
hoping to cash in today,

223
00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:14,670
so may the best turkey win.

224
00:10:17,067 --> 00:10:18,503
All right,
you guys ready to run?

225
00:10:18,528 --> 00:10:20,181
We got this.
Come on, team, let's go!

226
00:10:20,277 --> 00:10:22,235
- Where's Tolkien?
- Oh, you didn't hear?

227
00:10:22,429 --> 00:10:23,604
I didn't hear what?

228
00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:25,404
Tolkien says
he's not gonna race.

229
00:10:26,322 --> 00:10:28,541
What do you mean
Tolkien's not going to race?

230
00:10:28,733 --> 00:10:30,754
He said because it's being
sponsored by Saudi Arabia,

231
00:10:30,779 --> 00:10:32,646
he's bowing out
for political reasons.

232
00:10:32,671 --> 00:10:35,087
- Are you fucking joking?
- No.

233
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288
God damn it, wait here!

234
00:10:38,553 --> 00:10:43,471
Welcome, everyone to the 28th
annual South Park Turkey Trot!

235
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,438
This is a wonderful turnout,

236
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:51,248
and I'm sure you'll all help me
in thanking this year's sponsor,

237
00:10:51,273 --> 00:10:52,927
Saudi Arabia!

238
00:10:59,948 --> 00:11:01,210
Holy shit!

239
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:07,091
Holy shit,
we've got an Antifa uprising!

240
00:11:07,181 --> 00:11:09,575
All right, Department of War,
listen up!

241
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,498
The people of this town
are starting an insurrection!

242
00:11:12,523 --> 00:11:16,068
But they will not stand in
the way of us getting our man!

243
00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:19,505
Tolkien!

244
00:11:20,087 --> 00:11:21,302
Tolkien?

245
00:11:21,832 --> 00:11:22,876
Tolkien!

246
00:11:27,526 --> 00:11:28,919
Dude, what the hell are you
doing?

247
00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:30,402
Playing "Arc Raiders."

248
00:11:30,427 --> 00:11:31,578
The guys said
you're not gonna race

249
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,451
because it's being sponsored
by Saudi Arabia?

250
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,217
Yeah, just doesn't feel right.

251
00:11:35,324 --> 00:11:37,065
"It doesn't feel right"?

252
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:39,802
- Yeah, doesn't feel right.
- "It doesn't feel right"?

253
00:11:40,749 --> 00:11:42,509
What, Tolkien, you don't like
that Saudi Arabia

254
00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:43,796
is buying American stuff?

255
00:11:43,821 --> 00:11:45,584
They're trying to be
progressive, OK?

256
00:11:45,609 --> 00:11:47,474
You want them to go back
to what they were doing?

257
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,694
You want Saudi Arabia to just go
back to cutting people up

258
00:11:49,719 --> 00:11:51,841
and paying Kevin Hart?
Is that what you want?

259
00:11:51,866 --> 00:11:53,185
I can't see the screen.

260
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:54,666
Tolkien, you can't whine
about a country

261
00:11:54,691 --> 00:11:56,498
trying to come into
the 21st century.

262
00:11:56,523 --> 00:11:59,134
Them wanting to help pay
for American things is good.

263
00:11:59,288 --> 00:12:01,203
'Cause guess what?
If Saudi Arabia is out

264
00:12:01,228 --> 00:12:02,403
paying for sporting events,

265
00:12:02,428 --> 00:12:03,710
they're not out
hacking up reporters

266
00:12:03,735 --> 00:12:05,737
and inviting Pete Davidson
to come do comedy.

267
00:12:13,593 --> 00:12:16,378
All right, everyone,
on your mark...

268
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266
Get set...

269
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451
Holy shit!

270
00:12:36,476 --> 00:12:38,505
Shots fired!
Shots fired!

271
00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:42,060
Get set up over there!
We need content! Now!

272
00:12:42,415 --> 00:12:44,766
What's up, guys?
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.

273
00:12:44,791 --> 00:12:46,445
We are being fired upon!

274
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:49,427
There's an uprising here.
Some kind of insurrection.

275
00:12:49,452 --> 00:12:51,521
Make sure to like and subscribe!

276
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,032
You can hear
the liberal terrorists

277
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:00,224
all screaming
and chanting behind us.

278
00:13:00,267 --> 00:13:01,747
We're gonna take 'em on!

279
00:13:01,772 --> 00:13:03,513
Just another day
in the Department of War!

280
00:13:03,538 --> 00:13:04,670
Let's move out!

281
00:13:04,709 --> 00:13:06,929
Did you know that since 2018,

282
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:09,391
they actually allow women
to drive in Saudi Arabia?

283
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,873
They allow women to drive!

284
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:14,802
It's like practically a lesbian
utopia over there.

285
00:13:15,335 --> 00:13:17,772
Can you please just let me
enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?

286
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,380
Oh, yeah, sure, who cares
about lesbian utopia?

287
00:13:20,405 --> 00:13:22,702
Not Tolkien.
Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia

288
00:13:22,727 --> 00:13:24,357
to just keep chopping off
gay people's heads.

289
00:13:24,382 --> 00:13:25,905
That's way better, isn't it?

290
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,585
- You're being a dick, bro.
- Go away.

291
00:13:30,670 --> 00:13:32,420
All right, Tolkien,
you know what?

292
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,474
Fine.
If you really don't want to be

293
00:13:34,499 --> 00:13:37,873
a part of our country embracing
Saudi Arabia's desire to change,

294
00:13:37,898 --> 00:13:39,639
then we don't need you.

295
00:13:44,180 --> 00:13:45,209
Hey!

296
00:13:46,471 --> 00:13:48,404
Hey, gimme back my Xbox!

297
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,490
Come get it, asshole!

298
00:13:59,175 --> 00:14:00,350
Come on.

299
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,333
Come on,
we gotta get that money.

300
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:05,583
The rioting terrorists
appear to be advancing

301
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281
north, northeast.

302
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:08,916
Our plan, gentlemen,

303
00:14:08,941 --> 00:14:12,118
is to intercept them
at this location here,

304
00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:14,929
and get as much content
as we possibly can.

305
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:18,088
It's quite possible we'll also
be needing to get content

306
00:14:18,113 --> 00:14:20,099
in this area, so be ready.

307
00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:23,083
Third Battalion,
you'll be posting up here.

308
00:14:23,108 --> 00:14:25,893
I want you posting on Instagram
and Twitter.

309
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,796
Alpha Team post here.

310
00:14:27,821 --> 00:14:29,518
Bravo Team content there.

311
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656
All right, everyone, stand by.

312
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:36,106
At ease, soldier.

313
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,968
We heard there's
a civilian uprising.

314
00:14:38,037 --> 00:14:40,302
Yeah, we don't need
Homeland Security's help.

315
00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:42,160
- We got it.
- We're just here to assist

316
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360
in any way we can.

317
00:14:43,385 --> 00:14:45,213
That's what
Homeland Security does.

318
00:14:45,238 --> 00:14:47,052
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.

319
00:14:47,077 --> 00:14:48,861
- We've got a...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

320
00:14:48,886 --> 00:14:50,459
This is not your content.

321
00:14:50,484 --> 00:14:53,084
Everyone like and subscribe
to Department of War!

322
00:15:04,396 --> 00:15:05,905
Come on. Come on.

323
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:08,019
You got this. I got it.

324
00:15:14,916 --> 00:15:17,912
God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!

325
00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:21,232
Tolkien, how can you not catch
up to me?

326
00:15:23,420 --> 00:15:25,341
You're not even trying!

327
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,821
I am trying!

328
00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:31,037
I told you, I'm not a runner!

329
00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:33,518
Yes, you are!

330
00:15:33,543 --> 00:15:36,808
Will you stop fucking around?

331
00:15:52,537 --> 00:15:54,605
Homeland Security
to Department of War.

332
00:15:54,630 --> 00:15:56,755
The protestors are headed
your way.

333
00:15:57,497 --> 00:15:59,555
Stand down, Homeland Security.

334
00:15:59,580 --> 00:16:01,016
This is our content.

335
00:16:01,236 --> 00:16:02,585
There's too many of 'em!

336
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,662
Here they come.

337
00:16:15,687 --> 00:16:17,709
Everyone, hold your positions!

338
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:20,927
Department of War will not
be intimidated!

339
00:16:24,447 --> 00:16:26,318
Hold.

340
00:16:27,693 --> 00:16:29,826
Hold!

341
00:16:32,272 --> 00:16:34,492
Fire the tear gas! Yeah!

342
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:42,936
Dude.

343
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,622
Dude, which way are we
supposed to go?

344
00:16:45,562 --> 00:16:47,833
I can't... I can't see nothing.

345
00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:52,944
Tolkien? Tolkien!

346
00:16:54,136 --> 00:16:56,130
Where the hell did you go?

347
00:17:12,937 --> 00:17:14,983
What the hell's going on?

348
00:17:15,129 --> 00:17:16,346
We don't know.

349
00:17:16,438 --> 00:17:18,068
Well, how the hell are we
supposed to race

350
00:17:18,093 --> 00:17:19,396
if they've blocked the road?

351
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740
Look, all I know is that

352
00:17:25,765 --> 00:17:28,247
the Stotch family is in big
financial trouble this year.

353
00:17:28,272 --> 00:17:30,187
We have to reach
that finish line.

354
00:17:30,378 --> 00:17:32,990
You think you fucked?
We gotta pay tariff!

355
00:17:33,015 --> 00:17:35,147
That prize money is
our only chance.

356
00:17:35,172 --> 00:17:37,696
Does anyone have
a Turkey Trot route map?

357
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,510
Yeah, I've got one here.

358
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:40,710
All right, let's see.

359
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,013
So if this area's
all blocked off,

360
00:17:45,038 --> 00:17:47,042
then our best chance
at getting to the finish line

361
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371
is detouring through here.

362
00:17:48,396 --> 00:17:51,390
No, no, we should go this way
through the underpass.

363
00:17:51,415 --> 00:17:53,504
Are you crazy?
That's too much of a shortcut.

364
00:17:53,529 --> 00:17:55,401
We could get disqualified.

365
00:17:55,426 --> 00:17:58,647
All that matters is that
it's OK with Saudi Arabia.

366
00:17:58,682 --> 00:18:01,726
Would going this way be OK
with Saudi Arabia?

367
00:18:02,334 --> 00:18:05,598
There's no way to be sure
what Saudi Arabia wants.

368
00:18:05,807 --> 00:18:08,281
All I know is,
I need their money.

369
00:18:08,782 --> 00:18:12,133
So I'm gonna go out there
and take my chances.

370
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,853
What's up, guys?

371
00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:20,383
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.

372
00:18:20,408 --> 00:18:22,453
We've got the Narco terrorists
on the run

373
00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:23,871
and we're gonna take 'em out.

374
00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:25,390
Yeah!

375
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:31,476
? Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ?

376
00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:38,117
? Pete Hegseth
is a fucking douche ?

377
00:18:38,499 --> 00:18:39,935
? Acting like a tough guy ?

378
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,984
? Posting it
around the world ?

379
00:18:44,528 --> 00:18:46,097
? Making lots of content

380
00:18:46,122 --> 00:18:49,047
? Like a little teenage girl ?

381
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:55,734
? Pete Hegseth's
a fucking douche ?

382
00:18:56,835 --> 00:19:02,367
? Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ?

383
00:19:08,925 --> 00:19:10,586
All right, buddy.

384
00:19:11,591 --> 00:19:13,070
I don't know
what you think you're doing,

385
00:19:13,095 --> 00:19:16,011
but I'm pretty sure I told you
to get the hell out of my town.

386
00:19:16,373 --> 00:19:18,164
Oh, yeah?

387
00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:20,495
Well, what do you think
you're gonna do about it?

388
00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:25,101
Hello?

389
00:19:26,435 --> 00:19:27,750
Hello?

390
00:19:28,318 --> 00:19:29,531
Anybody?

391
00:19:29,718 --> 00:19:30,850
Give me my Xbox!

392
00:19:36,018 --> 00:19:38,107
What is your problem, man?

393
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657
You could've made this
an amazing Thanksgiving.

394
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,508
For Stan. For Kenny.

395
00:19:44,108 --> 00:19:46,039
But you just wanna play games.

396
00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:48,297
For the last time,

397
00:19:48,475 --> 00:19:51,390
just because I'm Black
doesn't mean I run fast!

398
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,851
Yes, you do.

399
00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,165
You just weren't trying
because you have a problem

400
00:19:56,190 --> 00:19:58,500
with Saudia Arabia joining
the global community.

401
00:19:58,525 --> 00:20:00,680
That has nothing to do
with you being a racist.

402
00:20:00,705 --> 00:20:02,055
Oh, I'm a racist?

403
00:20:02,181 --> 00:20:03,594
You want Saudi Arabia

404
00:20:03,619 --> 00:20:05,752
to just keep stuffing
journalists into suitcases,

405
00:20:05,777 --> 00:20:06,953
but I'm the racist!

406
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,023
I'm going home.

407
00:20:09,048 --> 00:20:10,742
OK, fine, forget it.

408
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,392
Yeah, I will forget it!

409
00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:14,547
And I can think whatever I want!

410
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215
OK, you're right, Tolkien.

411
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433
Yeah, I know I'm right!

412
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652
OK, that's cool.

413
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:19,982
Have a good Thanksgiving, man.

414
00:20:20,007 --> 00:20:21,219
I will have a good Thanksgiving

415
00:20:21,244 --> 00:20:23,351
'cause I won't be listening
to your stupid bullshit!

416
00:20:23,376 --> 00:20:24,856
Yep, sounds good.

417
00:20:24,881 --> 00:20:26,594
Enjoy the holidays
with your loved ones.

418
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,887
Oh, God damn it.

419
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281
Yes! Race science!

420
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240
Race science!

421
00:20:44,725 --> 00:20:47,672
On behalf of the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia

422
00:20:47,697 --> 00:20:51,614
and His Royal Highness
Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,

423
00:20:51,639 --> 00:20:54,453
this year's Turkey Trot
grand prize

424
00:20:54,478 --> 00:20:57,394
goes to the team
of South Park's very own

425
00:20:57,419 --> 00:20:58,855
Tolkien Black!

426
00:21:04,323 --> 00:21:05,828
We did it, dude.

427
00:21:06,953 --> 00:21:08,805
It's right there.
You see it?

428
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:10,726
It's right there!

429
00:21:11,555 --> 00:21:13,272
There you go.
Almost there.

430
00:21:21,728 --> 00:21:23,730
All right, guys,
that about wraps it up.

431
00:21:23,755 --> 00:21:25,797
Let's get home
and eat some turkey.

432
00:21:25,822 --> 00:21:27,346
You son of a bitch!

433
00:21:27,371 --> 00:21:29,156
The president will come for us!

434
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,101
Yeah, maybe so.

435
00:21:31,126 --> 00:21:33,039
Judge will see you Monday.

436
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:37,138
South Park's gonna pay for this.

437
00:21:37,447 --> 00:21:39,536
They're all gonna pay.

438
00:21:41,925 --> 00:21:48,925
credits