1
00:00:28,826 --> 00:00:33,935
credits

2
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,250
How was school today, bud?

3
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:52,146
It was fine.

4
00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:55,481
Look, Stan, I know it's been
really hard for you

5
00:00:55,517 --> 00:00:57,874
the past month,
with us not having a home.

6
00:00:57,899 --> 00:00:59,800
Yeah, it sucks.

7
00:00:59,869 --> 00:01:01,200
I've tried to find work,

8
00:01:01,225 --> 00:01:02,596
but there's just not a lot
out there.

9
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:04,103
And with
the government shutdown,

10
00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,658
I can't get my job back
with the USGS.

11
00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:10,130
Times are hard,
and I know we all miss Tegridy.

12
00:01:10,165 --> 00:01:11,829
I don't miss Tegridy, Dad.

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00:01:12,036 --> 00:01:14,371
I just hate that our family
is living in a motel.

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It's really embarrassing.

15
00:01:15,747 --> 00:01:17,846
Well, that's what
I need to tell you, Stan.

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There's some good news...
we're moving out of the motel.

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00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:23,641
Wait, really?
We can live in a house again?

18
00:01:23,676 --> 00:01:26,346
Well, no, we can't afford
a house, so...

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00:01:26,414 --> 00:01:28,851
we're moving in
with your grandpa.

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Moving in with Grandpa?

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This is a bunch of bull crap!

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First you stick me
in this place,

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00:01:38,061 --> 00:01:40,169
and then you all come along?

24
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Pretty nice, huh, guys?

25
00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,515
There's a TV, a microwave,

26
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:45,542
and we have Bingo on Thursdays.

27
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There has to be somewhere else
we can live.

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00:01:47,783 --> 00:01:49,009
Come on, Stan.

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You have that space over there
by Grandpa's shit pan.

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00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,293
You can't make me stay here.

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This is completely inhumane.

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That's what I said!

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Didn't work.

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00:02:14,806 --> 00:02:17,442
OK, so then over here
is where you're gonna have

35
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:19,903
the big golden pillars
that you guys wanted.

36
00:02:19,938 --> 00:02:21,234
Ah, yeah! That's great!

37
00:02:21,303 --> 00:02:23,041
OK, and then right over here

38
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:25,092
is where we're gonna put
your dance floor.

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00:02:25,117 --> 00:02:26,325
All right!

40
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:27,948
Wait, dance floor?

41
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:30,287
I thought we were
knocking the East Wing down

42
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to make room for the nursery.

43
00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:35,549
- The what?
- The nursery!

44
00:02:35,584 --> 00:02:37,915
You said all this remodeling
was for the baby,

45
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not to make room for more
of your stupid parties.

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Hey, relax, guy!

47
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We can just stick the baby
in the bathroom or something.

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Wow! OK, so obviously I have
no say in this remodel.

49
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Mr. President, sir.

50
00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:54,137
I'm very sorry, but we need to
speak with you urgently.

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It's a matter
of national security.

52
00:03:00,091 --> 00:03:02,871
We don't want to frighten you,
Mr. President,

53
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but we've received intelligence

54
00:03:05,177 --> 00:03:09,662
that someone might be trying to
stop your baby from being born.

55
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:11,620
What?

56
00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:13,052
Who?

57
00:03:13,658 --> 00:03:15,824
Hey! Relax, guy!

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00:03:15,849 --> 00:03:17,676
We don't know who yet, sir,

59
00:03:17,701 --> 00:03:20,066
but Pam Bondi has been
looking into it.

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00:03:20,091 --> 00:03:22,125
That's right, sir,
we won't let any harm

61
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,302
come to the baby of the greatest
president that ever lived.

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- You are without equal, sir...
- Uh, hey, Pam.

63
00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,799
- And we are honored to be...
- Pam. Pam, sorry.

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00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:31,605
You got a little shit
on your nose there.

65
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Oh, do I?

66
00:03:34,152 --> 00:03:35,152
Did I get it?

67
00:03:35,177 --> 00:03:36,454
No, it's still there.

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00:03:36,479 --> 00:03:38,816
If someone is trying
to harm the baby,

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00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,447
then we must know who.

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Well, there is...
one theory.

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Some people believe that
by demolishing the East Wing,

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we may have unleashed
some sort of... wrath.

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What kind of wrath?

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00:04:00,685 --> 00:04:02,751
Vengeful...

75
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,038
wrath.

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00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:20,190
What the hell is going on?

77
00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:22,656
I was supposed to be
in Washington.

78
00:04:22,769 --> 00:04:25,503
There has been a change
in plan, Mr. Thiel.

79
00:04:25,528 --> 00:04:28,357
They are on to us
at the White House.

80
00:04:28,866 --> 00:04:30,032
But how?

81
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,861
How did they find out?

82
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,179
Someone must have heard us
talking.

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Do you still have the child?

84
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:37,808
Yes, he's here.

85
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,837
I have him heavily sedated.

86
00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:42,843
It should last
another six, seven hours.

87
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,259
Six, seven!

88
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,284
But I can't keep him here
forever.

89
00:04:47,309 --> 00:04:50,130
You'll just have to wait
until it is safe.

90
00:04:51,096 --> 00:04:54,901
I think some brownnoser here
is after my job.

91
00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:07,099
Hey.

92
00:05:07,412 --> 00:05:08,841
Come on in.

93
00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:15,852
You guys can't tell anybody
that I'm living here.

94
00:05:15,997 --> 00:05:17,874
Stan, you shouldn't be
embarrassed, all right?

95
00:05:17,899 --> 00:05:19,568
Everyone's having a hard time
right now.

96
00:05:19,593 --> 00:05:21,294
Yeah, everyone's having
a hard time.

97
00:05:21,319 --> 00:05:22,754
And you know what
the problem is?

98
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:24,197
Nobody's doing anything
about it.

99
00:05:24,222 --> 00:05:25,400
How many weeks has it been now,

100
00:05:25,424 --> 00:05:27,382
dealing with one stupid thing
after another?

101
00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:30,258
The truth is, I think a lot of
people are just afraid to admit

102
00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,193
that South Park sucks now.

103
00:05:33,437 --> 00:05:34,772
South Park sucks now?

104
00:05:34,797 --> 00:05:36,762
Yeah, everyone knows it.
South Park sucks now.

105
00:05:36,798 --> 00:05:38,732
And it's because of
all this political shit.

106
00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,951
We're just getting totally
bogged down in it.

107
00:05:40,976 --> 00:05:42,916
Remember when we
used to do stuff?

108
00:05:43,019 --> 00:05:44,045
Just us guys?

109
00:05:44,070 --> 00:05:45,821
Ever since all this
political crap took over,

110
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,130
it's like... what?

111
00:05:47,155 --> 00:05:48,475
Like... like what happened to us?

112
00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:50,254
Like, Kenny, I haven't even
heard you say anything

113
00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:51,981
in, like, four months.

114
00:05:52,255 --> 00:05:53,805
_

115
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You see? That's what I mean!

116
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We don't even know what to say.

117
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South Park's getting ruined,
and all of us Gen Alpha kids

118
00:05:58,787 --> 00:06:00,427
are just sitting here,
watching it happen.

119
00:06:00,535 --> 00:06:02,563
- You're right, dude.
- Yeah!

120
00:06:02,588 --> 00:06:03,989
But what do we do?

121
00:06:05,526 --> 00:06:07,795
I know exactly what to do.

122
00:06:09,466 --> 00:06:10,760
Hey, guys,
are you sick and tired

123
00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:12,076
of what's happening to our town?

124
00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:14,438
Do you feel like it's broken
and going nowhere?

125
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,274
Then click below
and join our online community

126
00:06:16,305 --> 00:06:17,637
at South Park Sucks Now.

127
00:06:17,672 --> 00:06:19,078
Things are clearly
not right here,

128
00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:20,604
and if you're like us,
you are fed up!

129
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,084
South Park Sucks Now!

130
00:06:22,109 --> 00:06:24,478
So please, like and subscribe,
smash the button, upvote...

131
00:06:24,503 --> 00:06:25,658
whatever the hell
you need to do,

132
00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:28,537
because together,
we can make a difference.

133
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,822
Mr. President,
we don't want you to be afraid.

134
00:06:37,078 --> 00:06:40,379
Tell us exactly what it is
you think you saw.

135
00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:44,163
Ever since I tore down
the East Wing, there's...

136
00:06:44,232 --> 00:06:45,970
this thing

137
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,697
that keeps appearing.

138
00:06:49,044 --> 00:06:51,571
What kind of thing?

139
00:06:51,673 --> 00:06:53,977
Sometimes I see it in a mirror.

140
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,711
Or in the hallway.

141
00:06:55,813 --> 00:06:57,809
President Trump,
you are an incredible man.

142
00:06:57,844 --> 00:07:00,012
Whatever this is,
we have your back.

143
00:07:00,047 --> 00:07:02,513
Uh, Pam. Pam, you got some
shit on your nose again.

144
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:04,487
Oh, really?

145
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:07,190
Mr. President,
this entity you speak of,

146
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:09,107
how many times has it appeared?

147
00:07:09,146 --> 00:07:11,666
It appears more and more lately.

148
00:07:11,691 --> 00:07:13,327
I-I can't get away from it.

149
00:07:13,362 --> 00:07:15,021
It's everywhere I go.

150
00:07:16,093 --> 00:07:18,529
It's here right now.

151
00:07:18,736 --> 00:07:20,240
In the corner.

152
00:07:24,732 --> 00:07:27,451
I'm pretty sure
that's your wife, sir.

153
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:29,357
My wife?

154
00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:31,210
What does it want?

155
00:07:33,948 --> 00:07:36,554
Maybe it's somehow
trying to communicate.

156
00:07:36,589 --> 00:07:38,716
Don't worry, we won't let
anything happen to you.

157
00:07:38,785 --> 00:07:40,499
Where did Pam Bondi go?

158
00:07:40,524 --> 00:07:42,709
- What?
- Pam Bondi! She's gone!

159
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,268
But she was sitting right here!

160
00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,537
- Pam?
- Pam?

161
00:07:45,562 --> 00:07:46,832
Where's Pam Bondi?

162
00:07:47,105 --> 00:07:48,371
I'm right here, sir!

163
00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,874
- Look, it's back.
- What's back?

164
00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,539
You've got some shit
on your nose again.

165
00:07:52,568 --> 00:07:55,229
Oh, my God! What is going on?

166
00:07:55,254 --> 00:07:57,349
That thing!
It's not there anymore.

167
00:08:08,748 --> 00:08:10,053
Good morning, seniors.

168
00:08:10,088 --> 00:08:11,720
It's 6:30 a.m.

169
00:08:11,755 --> 00:08:14,243
Rise and shine
for your morning medication.

170
00:08:14,274 --> 00:08:16,182
Ugh, God, 6:30?

171
00:08:16,207 --> 00:08:18,308
Yeah, it fucking sucks,
doesn't it?

172
00:08:26,169 --> 00:08:27,431
Holy shit.

173
00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:28,788
What?

174
00:08:28,813 --> 00:08:30,272
Holy shit.

175
00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:33,374
756,000 likes, you guys.

176
00:08:33,399 --> 00:08:35,404
We just built a massive
online community.

177
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,990
Wow. I can't believe
how many people agree with us.

178
00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:40,128
I thought we could get 50 or
60 kids from school to sign up,

179
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,276
but this is incredible.

180
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,790
All right,
we've got everyone's attention.

181
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:43,916
So what do we do now?

182
00:08:44,156 --> 00:08:45,987
What do you mean, dude?
It's obvious.

183
00:08:46,012 --> 00:08:47,647
It's time for phase two.

184
00:08:50,033 --> 00:08:52,068
Hey, guys, if you've come here,

185
00:08:52,093 --> 00:08:54,093
then you're likely joining
the chorus of voices

186
00:08:54,128 --> 00:08:56,663
that's fed up with the direction
our town is going.

187
00:08:56,842 --> 00:08:59,445
We all want change
in our community.

188
00:08:59,470 --> 00:09:01,271
And now there's an opportunity

189
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:03,268
to truly make your voices heard.

190
00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:07,754
Introducing the South Park
Sucks Now cryptocurrency coin.

191
00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:09,658
This digital meme token
is your way to be a part

192
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,442
of the fastest-growing community
in America.

193
00:09:11,476 --> 00:09:13,776
This used to be a great town
before all the politics came

194
00:09:13,812 --> 00:09:14,977
and ruined it all.

195
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,453
Get in on our crypto meme coin

196
00:09:16,488 --> 00:09:18,155
with this incredible
presale offer.

197
00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,623
Each coin is just $9.95,

198
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,476
but could be worth
ten times that overnight!

199
00:09:21,501 --> 00:09:22,865
Wait, a meme coin?

200
00:09:22,890 --> 00:09:24,624
Do you want South Park
to change?

201
00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:27,464
Then order your coin today
at SouthParkSucksNow.com.

202
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,643
Stan Marsh is not
a financial advisor

203
00:09:28,667 --> 00:09:29,675
affiliated with
any financial institution.

204
00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:30,632
Digital assets
are highly volatile

205
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:31,631
and may involve
significant risk,

206
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:32,786
including loss of all funds.

207
00:09:32,811 --> 00:09:33,970
Ownership of South Park
Sucks Now Coin

208
00:09:33,995 --> 00:09:35,001
does not represent equity,
profit sharing, or ownership

209
00:09:35,026 --> 00:09:36,267
of any company platform
or project.

210
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:37,509
Participation is voluntary
and should only be undertaken

211
00:09:37,534 --> 00:09:38,543
by individuals who fully
understand the risks

212
00:09:38,568 --> 00:09:39,563
associated with
block chain assets.

213
00:09:39,588 --> 00:09:40,829
South Park Sucks Now Coin
is not registered with

214
00:09:40,854 --> 00:09:42,165
or regulated by the SEC
or any financial authority.

215
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,496
Please review all disclosures
and consult a licensed financial

216
00:09:43,521 --> 00:09:45,274
advisor before engaging in
digital asset transactions.

217
00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,366
Ah, fuck!

218
00:10:38,401 --> 00:10:40,085
- Fuck!
- What?

219
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,899
It's the Woman in the Hat!

220
00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:44,118
What are you talking about?

221
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,275
The Woman in the Hat!

222
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:47,634
She's in the fucking bathroom!

223
00:10:50,076 --> 00:10:51,878
We've double checked
everything, sir.

224
00:10:51,913 --> 00:10:53,548
All the exterior doors
are locked.

225
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,385
No windows have been breached.

226
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:56,894
And yet the president swears

227
00:10:56,919 --> 00:10:58,421
something was
in the room with him.

228
00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,750
Is he going to be all right?

229
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:01,259
Pretty shaken.

230
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,462
Pam Bondi is in there now

231
00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:04,462
trying to calm him down
and make him feel better.

232
00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:07,384
Pam?

233
00:11:08,421 --> 00:11:09,716
Oh, my God!

234
00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:19,720
Stan, what are we doing?

235
00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:22,445
What do you mean, dude?
We're trying to change things.

236
00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,573
By selling cryptocurrency?

237
00:11:24,666 --> 00:11:26,586
What's wrong with trying
to make a little money

238
00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:28,916
while also pointing out the
things wrong with our town?

239
00:11:28,952 --> 00:11:30,112
Yeah, what's wrong with that?

240
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,388
I have to do something, Kyle.

241
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:33,450
I'm nine years old
and I live in a retirement home.

242
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,926
And you really think
crypto is your way out?

243
00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:38,258
Do you even know anything
about how that stuff works?

244
00:11:38,370 --> 00:11:41,068
Well, actually, we have
a really strong crypto advisor...

245
00:11:41,093 --> 00:11:43,495
your cousin on the east coast.

246
00:11:43,598 --> 00:11:45,268
My cousin?

247
00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:47,299
I'm back!

248
00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,075
All right, looks like
we've got a lot of movement

249
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,373
on your coin, boys.

250
00:11:50,398 --> 00:11:51,722
The presale really popped.

251
00:11:51,747 --> 00:11:54,192
We cleared 100 grand in volume
before liquidity even locked.

252
00:11:54,217 --> 00:11:55,922
The token's really got traction.

253
00:11:55,947 --> 00:11:58,123
And we don't ever have to pay
anything, right?

254
00:11:58,148 --> 00:12:00,483
Nope, you never pay anything.
You guys created the coin,

255
00:12:00,508 --> 00:12:01,995
so all you do is profit from it.

256
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:03,376
See? I told you.

257
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:04,456
_

258
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:05,965
Now we just need to keep
creating hype

259
00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,694
around the South Park Sucks Now
digital coin,

260
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,932
so we need to come up with
things to give people FOMO

261
00:12:09,957 --> 00:12:11,826
and make them ape even harder.

262
00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,868
You guys,
this isn't about a coin.

263
00:12:13,893 --> 00:12:15,563
It's about a movement.

264
00:12:15,709 --> 00:12:16,873
Oh, that's really good.

265
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:18,165
Yeah, yeah, that's perfect.

266
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,979
"This isn't about a coin.
It's about a movement."

267
00:12:20,003 --> 00:12:22,169
Yeah, that's some savvy
Jew Jitsu right there.

268
00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:23,483
So what kind of time frame
are we looking at

269
00:12:23,507 --> 00:12:24,507
to get our money?

270
00:12:24,543 --> 00:12:25,952
I need it as fast as possible.

271
00:12:25,977 --> 00:12:27,718
Well, I think we're looking at
a classic rug pull

272
00:12:27,742 --> 00:12:28,844
in just a few days.

273
00:12:28,912 --> 00:12:30,355
Once we pump the coin
high as it'll go,

274
00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:32,453
then I can register for an MSB
with the federal government.

275
00:12:32,477 --> 00:12:34,869
The federal government?
That sounds hard.

276
00:12:34,894 --> 00:12:36,393
Oh, no, it's gonna be easy.

277
00:12:36,418 --> 00:12:38,527
The crypto corruption at the
White House is off the chain.

278
00:12:38,551 --> 00:12:40,368
We're gonna screw a lot of
people out of their money, boys.

279
00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,189
It's gonna be fantastic.

280
00:12:53,884 --> 00:12:55,485
Yes?

281
00:12:56,005 --> 00:12:58,873
Uh, yes,
we're paranormal investigators.

282
00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:00,510
We've been asked to come
and investigate

283
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,259
the mysterious Woman in the Hat.

284
00:13:03,756 --> 00:13:06,884
I am Stephen Miller,

285
00:13:07,211 --> 00:13:09,759
Senior Advisor to the President
for Immigration

286
00:13:09,784 --> 00:13:11,419
and Domestic Policy.

287
00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:16,712
Won't you...
come in?

288
00:13:22,298 --> 00:13:24,508
Oh, my God, it's incredible.

289
00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:28,304
Subject is showing some kind of
viscous residue on her nose.

290
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:30,279
Well, what the fuck is it?

291
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:32,739
Sometimes there's
a physical manifestation

292
00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:34,207
of spiritual energy...

293
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:37,222
a bridge between
the spiritual world and ours.

294
00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:41,536
In this case, it appears to be
some kind of rectoplasm.

295
00:13:41,561 --> 00:13:43,056
Rectoplasm?

296
00:13:43,158 --> 00:13:44,728
What is it made of?

297
00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,088
It's unbelievable!

298
00:13:46,113 --> 00:13:49,699
The rectoplasm seems to be 54%
Filet-O-Fish sandwich!

299
00:13:49,724 --> 00:13:50,926
Oh, my God!

300
00:13:50,962 --> 00:13:53,067
I ate a Filet-O-Fish sandwich
last night!

301
00:13:53,092 --> 00:13:54,892
- Jesus!
- And it's also...

302
00:13:54,927 --> 00:13:57,432
28% Taco Bell.

303
00:13:57,578 --> 00:13:58,909
Oh, my God!

304
00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:00,899
I ate Taco Bell this morning!

305
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:02,231
What does it mean?

306
00:14:02,266 --> 00:14:06,234
And it's 14% its own cum.

307
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,673
Oh, my God!
I ate...

308
00:14:13,618 --> 00:14:16,126
Hey! Pam! Deal with them!

309
00:14:16,515 --> 00:14:21,123
This is a Fox News Super Alert!

310
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:23,926
Two paranormal investigators
were indicted today

311
00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:26,789
on federal charges
of falsifying data.

312
00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:29,907
The president said that the
bad people manipulated readings

313
00:14:29,932 --> 00:14:32,299
and reports to make fake news.

314
00:14:32,484 --> 00:14:35,989
The charges were filed
by Attorney General Pam Bondi,

315
00:14:36,014 --> 00:14:38,617
who said that "the President
is a great man,

316
00:14:38,642 --> 00:14:40,944
even if he does
eat his own semen."

317
00:14:41,001 --> 00:14:42,121
In other news,

318
00:14:42,146 --> 00:14:45,000
many people are saying
that South Park sucks now.

319
00:14:45,025 --> 00:14:46,786
The small mountain town
in Colorado

320
00:14:46,811 --> 00:14:49,817
has been a hotbed of political
activity in recent weeks,

321
00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,654
and three local Gen Alpha boys

322
00:14:51,723 --> 00:14:54,189
are vowing to put a stop to it.

323
00:14:54,988 --> 00:14:56,656
OK, we're mooning.

324
00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,155
We're mooning...

325
00:14:58,478 --> 00:14:59,811
All right, that's gotta be it.

326
00:14:59,836 --> 00:15:01,876
OK, we're done mooning.
I think we're ready to dump.

327
00:15:02,656 --> 00:15:03,887
OK, sounds good.

328
00:15:03,912 --> 00:15:06,013
I'm on the Acela train
right now.

329
00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:08,947
I should be in DC by 6:30
to meet with Don Jr.

330
00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,149
Once I get White House approval,

331
00:15:10,173 --> 00:15:11,652
we should be able
to do the rug pull.

332
00:15:11,676 --> 00:15:14,046
- I'm out, dude.
- Kyle?

333
00:15:15,060 --> 00:15:16,601
Kyle, wait!

334
00:15:17,715 --> 00:15:19,015
Dude, you can't quit now.

335
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,492
Do you know how much money
we're about to make?

336
00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:23,182
I thought you were sick of the
way South Park was going, Stan.

337
00:15:23,218 --> 00:15:25,158
- I am!
- So then why are you trying

338
00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,395
to engineer a rug pull

339
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,001
in conjunction with
the federal government?

340
00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:30,561
Bro, it's the world
we live in, OK?

341
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,990
I mean, at least we're being men

342
00:15:32,025 --> 00:15:33,357
and taking some control.

343
00:15:33,426 --> 00:15:35,327
Look at Kenny,
he... he's doing stuff now!

344
00:15:35,362 --> 00:15:36,694
Yeah, dude, I'm doing stuff!

345
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:39,601
I know it sucks to be living
in an old folks home, Stan,

346
00:15:39,626 --> 00:15:40,749
but you can't fix things

347
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,501
if you're only thinking
about yourself.

348
00:16:05,022 --> 00:16:06,617
Yes?

349
00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:10,695
Uh, yes, I'm with the South
Park Sucks Now cryptocurrency.

350
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,613
We're trying to fuck a bunch of
people out of their money.

351
00:16:12,637 --> 00:16:14,067
Is Don Jr. around?

352
00:16:14,136 --> 00:16:17,637
Ah, yes,
he's been expecting you.

353
00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,637
Do come in.

354
00:16:25,742 --> 00:16:28,049
Oh, Jesus, it's a little
drafty in here.

355
00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:30,749
You'll have to excuse
the conditions.

356
00:16:30,784 --> 00:16:34,499
The master has taken down the
East Wing and unleashed a wrath.

357
00:16:38,976 --> 00:16:40,700
Oh, Jesus! It's a mummy!

358
00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:43,832
No, no, that's just the head
of the FCC.

359
00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:46,406
He's lost his freedom of speech.

360
00:16:47,906 --> 00:16:52,555
Come. Don Jr. is...
this way.

361
00:16:58,094 --> 00:17:00,423
Thanks so much for taking
my meeting, Don Jr.

362
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,288
We've got an incredible
crypto opportunity here

363
00:17:02,318 --> 00:17:04,281
and we just need your help
taking a big dump.

364
00:17:04,393 --> 00:17:05,760
That sounds really great.

365
00:17:05,785 --> 00:17:08,763
There's nothing I like better
than a big crypto dump.

366
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:10,763
So sorry I had to bug you
this late in the evening,

367
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,977
but time really is
of the essence here.

368
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:18,127
We need everyone to gather
in the dining room.

369
00:17:18,317 --> 00:17:19,856
Immediately.

370
00:17:19,881 --> 00:17:22,442
In the dining room? Why?

371
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:24,942
We are going to have a séance.

372
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,164
It's time to confront
the spirit here.

373
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,984
The... the spirit? What spirit?

374
00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:38,163
_

375
00:17:38,188 --> 00:17:39,459
Yeah, I can see
the price is going down.

376
00:17:39,483 --> 00:17:40,890
What the hell is he doing?

377
00:17:40,992 --> 00:17:42,188
He's not answering?

378
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,601
Hello, you've reached
Pump and Dump Crypto Advisors.

379
00:17:44,626 --> 00:17:46,468
Let us know how we can help you
fuck people over.

380
00:17:46,492 --> 00:17:48,666
Just leave a message.

381
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:50,102
Dude, what is going on?

382
00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:52,829
Our token's value totally peaked
and it's starting to go down.

383
00:17:52,898 --> 00:17:54,474
Whatever approval you have to
get at the White House,

384
00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:55,967
we need it now!

385
00:17:56,003 --> 00:17:57,116
God damn it!

386
00:17:57,224 --> 00:17:59,224
_

387
00:17:59,249 --> 00:18:01,866
I don't know, Kenny, OK?
Shut up already!

388
00:18:07,183 --> 00:18:09,185
Oh, Jesus,
this is a little creepy.

389
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:11,848
Are we having dinner?
I'm allergic to dairy.

390
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:15,350
Everyone, please put your
hands on the table.

391
00:18:18,888 --> 00:18:22,968
I am speaking to the entity
in this house.

392
00:18:23,179 --> 00:18:24,837
Is this a good time
to talk turkey?

393
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:27,263
I just need to go over
some quick business.

394
00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:29,826
We know you are sad.

395
00:18:30,072 --> 00:18:32,582
We know you are... lonely.

396
00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:36,991
But we must ask you
to leave our president alone.

397
00:18:39,656 --> 00:18:42,359
Oh, my God,
this is really scary.

398
00:18:42,384 --> 00:18:44,759
The President is a great man,

399
00:18:44,784 --> 00:18:48,558
and he does not deserve
to be tormented like this.

400
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:50,186
Pam! Pam!

401
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:54,533
Restless spirit,

402
00:18:54,558 --> 00:18:57,700
we only wish to communicate!

403
00:19:00,314 --> 00:19:02,682
Holy shit!
She's right fucking there!

404
00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:03,971
What is that?

405
00:19:05,747 --> 00:19:07,874
Deception!

406
00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:10,541
Deception!

407
00:19:10,653 --> 00:19:13,079
Boss, maybe we should stop this.

408
00:19:13,104 --> 00:19:15,274
No! I wanna hear
what it has to say.

409
00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:19,562
Epstein!

410
00:19:19,587 --> 00:19:21,780
- Uh, no, no.
You're right. Let's stop this.

411
00:19:21,805 --> 00:19:23,192
You!

412
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,871
What? You?

413
00:19:27,028 --> 00:19:28,003
What did he do?

414
00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:30,426
He lies!

415
00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,767
Oh, you fucking bitch!

416
00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:35,133
Corruption!

417
00:19:35,278 --> 00:19:36,644
She's not possessed!

418
00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:39,774
Pam Bondi's trying to get
my fucking job!

419
00:19:41,912 --> 00:19:43,238
Oh, I can't do this!

420
00:19:43,273 --> 00:19:44,614
Lies!

421
00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:47,847
I gotta get out of here!

422
00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,962
Oh, God!

423
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:56,456
OK! OK! It's all true!

424
00:19:56,524 --> 00:19:59,097
We've been dealing in deception
and lies!

425
00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:01,696
We've all been getting
filthy rich off of crypto!

426
00:20:01,721 --> 00:20:02,602
Oh, Jesus.

427
00:20:02,627 --> 00:20:04,530
We've lied and we've cheated.

428
00:20:04,633 --> 00:20:06,309
Crypto's just a giant money
laundering scheme

429
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,344
for the rich to get richer.

430
00:20:07,368 --> 00:20:09,100
Please don't haunt us anymore!

431
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,301
We're sorry.

432
00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:12,458
We're all very sorry!

433
00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:16,712
This is a Fox News!

434
00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:19,515
Agh! America!

435
00:20:19,627 --> 00:20:22,822
A massive crypto fraud has
been exposed at the White House,

436
00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,454
and the perpetrator
has been indicted.

437
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:28,026
A ghostly wrath that was
unleashed in the East Wing

438
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:30,877
exposed the traitor
at a séance last night.

439
00:20:30,902 --> 00:20:34,837
The traitor is now behind bars
and serving 10 years for fraud.

440
00:20:35,092 --> 00:20:38,761
Charges, of course, were once
again filed by Pam Bondi,

441
00:20:38,786 --> 00:20:41,833
who said, "We will continue
to indict anyone

442
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,302
who says bad stuff
about our amazing president."

443
00:20:49,173 --> 00:20:51,845
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I should have listened to you.

444
00:20:54,483 --> 00:20:56,986
I guess there just no really
going back

445
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,653
to the way things used to be.

446
00:21:00,069 --> 00:21:01,563
Things will get back, Stan.

447
00:21:01,588 --> 00:21:02,730
I know it's hard to see
right now,

448
00:21:02,754 --> 00:21:05,692
but things will go back
to normal.

449
00:21:05,770 --> 00:21:08,203
And in the meantime,
we just have to make the most

450
00:21:08,228 --> 00:21:09,859
of where we are.

451
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:17,176
All right, seniors,
just move with the rhythm now.

452
00:21:18,438 --> 00:21:21,605
? If I didn't care ?

453
00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,051
Good! Good, seniors.
Nice!

454
00:21:24,445 --> 00:21:29,116
? More than words can say ?

455
00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:34,254
? If I didn't care ?

456
00:21:34,356 --> 00:21:39,525
? Would I feel this way? ?

457
00:21:39,561 --> 00:21:45,868
? If this isn't love,
then why ?

458
00:21:45,892 --> 00:21:53,892
credits