1
00:00:31,928 --> 00:00:37,928
credits

2
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,094
Betsy! Betsy!
Guess what?

3
00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:47,095
My dad took me
to the Asian pop-up store.

4
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,295
Look what I got.

5
00:00:48,346 --> 00:00:50,428
Serenity Labubu.

6
00:00:50,453 --> 00:00:52,914
- It's so cute!
- Isn't it?

7
00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:54,569
I was at the Asian pop-up too.

8
00:00:54,594 --> 00:00:55,582
No way!

9
00:00:55,607 --> 00:00:56,956
Yeah, look what I got.

10
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,753
The Loyalty Labubu!

11
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,017
My God, it's so cute!

12
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,279
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.

13
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,117
Dude, dude, check it out.

14
00:01:05,142 --> 00:01:06,222
It's about to happen again.

15
00:01:06,247 --> 00:01:07,552
Shit.

16
00:01:07,577 --> 00:01:09,789
I actually have
Loyalty Labubu already,

17
00:01:09,814 --> 00:01:11,342
and I have a little costume for it.

18
00:01:11,402 --> 00:01:13,622
That is seriously so cute.

19
00:01:13,852 --> 00:01:15,898
Kenny, you guys,
girls with Labubus.

20
00:01:15,923 --> 00:01:17,010
It's about to happen again.

21
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,833
Come on!

22
00:01:18,858 --> 00:01:20,250
And then, believe it or not,

23
00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:22,990
I actually have
Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.

24
00:01:23,015 --> 00:01:25,612
No way! That is the rarest one.

25
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,007
Isn't it so cute?

26
00:01:27,038 --> 00:01:29,606
So thinking cute!
But it's really rare.

27
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,946
Are you sure
it's not a knockoff?

28
00:01:30,971 --> 00:01:32,136
Dog, here we go.

29
00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:33,480
Yeah, I checked.

30
00:01:33,505 --> 00:01:35,908
If anyone's fake, it's probably
yours, you fat bitch.

31
00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:37,544
- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!

32
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,794
Stupid slut!

33
00:01:43,735 --> 00:01:45,079
Yeah, yeah!

34
00:01:46,436 --> 00:01:48,373
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!

35
00:01:48,398 --> 00:01:50,660
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!

36
00:01:51,034 --> 00:01:53,515
She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.

37
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:56,500
Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!

38
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,117
- She totally started it!
- Oh my God.

39
00:01:59,142 --> 00:02:00,608
Shut up. I did not.

40
00:02:00,633 --> 00:02:02,393
She came up to me
at my locker with her Labubu

41
00:02:02,418 --> 00:02:03,755
and started talking shit.

42
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:06,827
You talk shit about
my Labubus every day, whore.

43
00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:11,453
Yeah, love your enemies

44
00:02:11,478 --> 00:02:13,437
and pray for those
who persecute you.

45
00:02:13,649 --> 00:02:16,172
Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.

46
00:02:16,612 --> 00:02:19,517
I-I'm sorry, what is a Labubu?

47
00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,360
It's a little monster accessory.

48
00:02:21,385 --> 00:02:22,328
They come in blind boxes,

49
00:02:22,353 --> 00:02:24,115
so you never know
which one you're gonna get.

50
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,490
Like, you could just luck out

51
00:02:25,515 --> 00:02:27,557
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.

52
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,124
My God, that one is so cute.

53
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,974
It's so cute, right?

54
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,847
All right, ladies,

55
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,631
w-why don't you just
give me the dolls

56
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,198
until the end of the school day?

57
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,552
That's not fair!

58
00:02:37,577 --> 00:02:38,565
Go on out to recess.

59
00:02:38,590 --> 00:02:40,745
You can pick up your Labubus
after school.

60
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,506
Wow. What kind of counseling
was that?

61
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,508
I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.

62
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,751
Our old counselor
was so much better.

63
00:02:59,691 --> 00:03:01,190
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
get some more over there.

64
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,824
This side's starting to fall.

65
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,376
We are the kings of the castle!

66
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,611
Let us in!

67
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,230
Hey, Butters.

68
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,212
Well, hey, Red.

69
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,313
Um, I was just wondering

70
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,497
what you're doing this weekend.

71
00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:19,352
Who, me?

72
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,895
Yeah.

73
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,467
Um, I'm having a birthday party
at my house,

74
00:03:22,492 --> 00:03:26,407
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?

75
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,321
You're talking about me?

76
00:03:30,346 --> 00:03:32,304
Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.

77
00:03:32,329 --> 00:03:34,217
I shouldn't have asked.
Never mind.

78
00:03:34,242 --> 00:03:35,939
No, no, I'd love to come
hang out with you

79
00:03:35,964 --> 00:03:37,007
on your birthday, Red.

80
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:38,180
Really? You would?

81
00:03:38,205 --> 00:03:39,205
Well, sure!

82
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:40,580
Okay, that's great.

83
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,040
I'll text you all the details.

84
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:43,936
Okay, Red, I'll see you there.

85
00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:45,377
Okay, and um,

86
00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:47,011
maybe I'll text you
my birthday wishlist, too,

87
00:03:47,036 --> 00:03:49,032
in case, you know,
you want to get me a present.

88
00:03:49,057 --> 00:03:50,317
Sure thing!

89
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,713
My God, you guys,

90
00:03:55,738 --> 00:03:57,565
Red wants to hang out with me!

91
00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:59,328
That's incredible!

92
00:03:59,353 --> 00:04:01,252
Bro, it seems like
she really likes you.

93
00:04:03,464 --> 00:04:05,857
"Really excited
to see you Saturday."

94
00:04:07,068 --> 00:04:09,461
- Me and Red.
- Lucky.

95
00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:13,426
"Here is my birthday
gift wishlist."

96
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,222
"This exact Labubu."

97
00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:23,694
Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?

98
00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:28,135
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls

99
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,421
have a red bush!

100
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358
- Wow!
- Wow!

101
00:04:41,817 --> 00:04:44,421
Welcome to
City Asian Pop-Up Store.

102
00:04:44,446 --> 00:04:46,188
Can I take a order, please?

103
00:04:46,715 --> 00:04:49,544
Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?

104
00:04:49,721 --> 00:04:51,767
Yeah, but whole country change.

105
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,050
Didn't you hear the news?

106
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,338
Wok is dead.

107
00:04:54,363 --> 00:04:56,900
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?

108
00:04:56,935 --> 00:04:58,775
We got City Pop-up key chains,

109
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,169
City cell phone charm,

110
00:05:00,194 --> 00:05:01,804
City anime sculpture.

111
00:05:01,829 --> 00:05:04,047
Well, actually,
I'm looking for a Labubu.

112
00:05:04,142 --> 00:05:06,406
Yeah, everyone love Labubu.

113
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,083
They real hard to keep in stock.

114
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:10,284
Very expensive
'cause of tariffs.

115
00:05:10,309 --> 00:05:11,962
You know, it's really important.

116
00:05:11,987 --> 00:05:13,084
I got this new girlfriend,

117
00:05:13,109 --> 00:05:15,650
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.

118
00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:17,909
That very rare Labubu.

119
00:05:17,934 --> 00:05:20,202
You only find that
in a mystery box.

120
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,455
Mystery box?

121
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,343
Hi. Are you guys
still serving food?

122
00:05:23,368 --> 00:05:26,063
No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?

123
00:05:27,481 --> 00:05:29,264
Can't I just buy this Labubu?

124
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:30,769
No, that not the way it work.

125
00:05:30,794 --> 00:05:32,869
You buy mystery box,
you open it,

126
00:05:32,894 --> 00:05:34,505
hopefully you get
the one you want.

127
00:05:34,530 --> 00:05:36,252
Okay, how much is a mystery box?

128
00:05:36,659 --> 00:05:37,920
$85.

129
00:05:38,231 --> 00:05:39,319
85?

130
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,982
Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.

131
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,795
You think I pay tariff?
No, no, no, no.

132
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,169
You pay tariff.

133
00:05:44,449 --> 00:05:45,799
Well, okay, I'll take one.

134
00:05:48,789 --> 00:05:50,789
_

135
00:05:50,813 --> 00:05:54,084
_

136
00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:57,108
_

137
00:05:57,132 --> 00:05:59,730
_

138
00:05:59,755 --> 00:06:01,996
Yeah, well, Wok is dead,
you stupid bitch!

139
00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:03,370
Stop nagging me!

140
00:06:03,855 --> 00:06:05,117
Dang it!

141
00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:06,445
This is the wrong one!

142
00:06:06,470 --> 00:06:08,685
Yeah, that just
Happiness Labubu.

143
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:10,170
Very common. Very common.

144
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,066
You try again, $85.

145
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,086
I have to pay another $85

146
00:06:14,111 --> 00:06:15,809
and I still might not get
the one I want?

147
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:17,952
Hey, it's not me,
it's your government.

148
00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:19,437
I don't get fucked by tariff.

149
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,915
You get fucked by tariff.

150
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,324
In China, we call that
hot potato.

151
00:06:24,554 --> 00:06:26,969
You're watching Fox News.

152
00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:29,584
The president has just returned

153
00:06:29,609 --> 00:06:32,611
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.

154
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,604
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.

155
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:37,635
And there's
the Prince of Darkness,

156
00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:40,135
who's been traveling with the
president as of late.

157
00:06:40,564 --> 00:06:42,565
The president has made his way
off of Air Force One

158
00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:45,127
and will now speak to
a diverse crowd of reporters.

159
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:49,371
Mr. Pre... Mr. President,
how did the tariff meetings go?

160
00:06:49,396 --> 00:06:51,137
They went great, buddy!

161
00:06:52,764 --> 00:06:55,419
Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.

162
00:06:55,444 --> 00:06:58,071
Your wife, Melania, has been
staying in New York

163
00:06:58,096 --> 00:06:59,591
and away from the White House.

164
00:06:59,616 --> 00:07:00,715
That's right!

165
00:07:00,740 --> 00:07:03,941
Well, what Fox News really
wants to know is

166
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:05,794
are you fucking Satan?

167
00:07:07,198 --> 00:07:09,441
No! I'm not fucking Satan!

168
00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:11,994
We're just sorta hanging out.

169
00:07:12,019 --> 00:07:13,804
Come on, President Trump.

170
00:07:13,829 --> 00:07:15,210
With everything
you've been doing,

171
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,976
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.

172
00:07:18,001 --> 00:07:19,698
I'm not fucking Satan!

173
00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:21,544
Can we go, please?

174
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:26,556
He is fucking Satan.

175
00:07:26,581 --> 00:07:28,469
That guy's definitely
fucking Satan.

176
00:07:28,494 --> 00:07:29,761
What a stud.

177
00:07:29,786 --> 00:07:31,362
Yeah, Fox News!

178
00:07:32,857 --> 00:07:34,119
All right, everyone, listen up,

179
00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:35,797
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country

180
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,911
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.

181
00:07:37,936 --> 00:07:39,576
Our new school counselor
has some concerns

182
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:40,870
that I understand
he'd like to voice.

183
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:41,895
Go ahead, Jesus.

184
00:07:43,935 --> 00:07:46,541
Well, I'm just a bit confused

185
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,568
about the dramatic rise
in fist fighting

186
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:50,194
over these Labubus.

187
00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:51,551
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

188
00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:52,566
The Labubus.

189
00:07:52,591 --> 00:07:54,259
Kids go nuts for 'em.

190
00:07:54,384 --> 00:07:57,734
I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.

191
00:07:57,848 --> 00:08:00,111
Well, they're just the new fad
of the month, you know.

192
00:08:00,136 --> 00:08:02,573
They make them scarce
and hard to find a secret one.

193
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:05,427
Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.

194
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,181
Labubu TikTok?

195
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,683
Yeah, the kids make 'em
and they watch 'em.

196
00:08:08,708 --> 00:08:09,697
I can pull one up.

197
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:12,214
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.

198
00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:15,786
Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!

199
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,073
I got this Labubu online.

200
00:08:17,098 --> 00:08:18,367
I'm pretty sure
it's not a Lafufu.

201
00:08:18,392 --> 00:08:19,871
I got the QR code right here.

202
00:08:19,896 --> 00:08:21,856
We're gonna see what we got.
Hope it's a rare one.

203
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:24,003
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.

204
00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:26,422
Okay, let's see,
let's see, let's see!

205
00:08:30,972 --> 00:08:32,106
My God!

206
00:08:32,131 --> 00:08:33,665
My God!

207
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:35,968
Okay, okay,
let's start the ritual.

208
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,448
What the hell was that?

209
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,782
That's a Labubu unboxing TikTok.

210
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,515
Kids go nuts for 'em.

211
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,638
But that's, like,
some dark Satanic ritual.

212
00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,564
Yeah, Labubus are demonic.

213
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:07,924
Yeah, dark magic.

214
00:09:07,949 --> 00:09:09,471
I don't know if they come that
way from China,

215
00:09:09,496 --> 00:09:12,064
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.

216
00:09:12,089 --> 00:09:13,357
It's Mesopotamian.

217
00:09:13,382 --> 00:09:15,517
Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?

218
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,143
Bro.

219
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,747
That's not normal.

220
00:09:20,772 --> 00:09:22,237
These kids are in trouble.

221
00:09:22,402 --> 00:09:24,969
Yeah, that's why every school
needs a counselor.

222
00:09:38,247 --> 00:09:40,754
Welcome City Pop-Up.
Take order, please.

223
00:09:40,779 --> 00:09:43,524
I have $88.42 in here.

224
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,114
I need to buy
another mystery box.

225
00:09:45,139 --> 00:09:48,534
Sorry, Labubu mystery box $120.

226
00:09:48,564 --> 00:09:50,636
What? It was $85!

227
00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:52,358
Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!

228
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,493
You never know with tariffs.
They make no sense.

229
00:09:54,518 --> 00:09:55,867
But that's not fair!

230
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:57,803
Yeah, no shit, tariffs not fair!

231
00:09:57,828 --> 00:10:00,422
Please, sir, my girlfriend's
party is today,

232
00:10:00,447 --> 00:10:02,141
and I have to get
the Labubu she wants.

233
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,297
Please!

234
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,238
It's okay, it's okay.

235
00:10:04,263 --> 00:10:05,743
I have idea.

236
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,895
You want mystery box
for cheap price?

237
00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:09,637
You use claw machine.

238
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,492
You try your luck.

239
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:13,360
Use claw machine
to get a mystery box,

240
00:10:13,385 --> 00:10:16,139
open it up, hopefully
you get good Labubu you want.

241
00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:28,385
You so close.

242
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,454
Try again.

243
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:30,804
Jeez.

244
00:10:33,562 --> 00:10:35,750
_

245
00:10:35,775 --> 00:10:37,202
Here we go.

246
00:10:37,227 --> 00:10:40,281
I get screwed by tariffs,
so I have to screw the children!

247
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,887
What do you not understand?

248
00:10:42,431 --> 00:10:46,310
_

249
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:48,278
Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!

250
00:10:48,303 --> 00:10:49,826
Go wok, go brok!

251
00:10:52,248 --> 00:10:54,946
Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.

252
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,274
The reason I called you in today
is because your girls were

253
00:10:58,299 --> 00:11:00,899
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.

254
00:11:00,924 --> 00:11:02,939
Okay, so what are you gonna
do about it?

255
00:11:03,677 --> 00:11:05,766
Well, I was hoping
we could work together

256
00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,227
to maybe just keep them away
from the Labubus.

257
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,688
Sure, just take
their Labubus away.

258
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,140
Great counseling.

259
00:11:12,165 --> 00:11:14,776
Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using

260
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:17,891
Labubus for some kind of...
ritual.

261
00:11:17,982 --> 00:11:20,289
Yeah, but to do that, you have
to have a super rare one.

262
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:22,760
They're the only ones
girls can use in dark rituals.

263
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:24,948
You know that they're demonic?

264
00:11:24,973 --> 00:11:27,192
Yeah. What are we supposed to do?

265
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:29,902
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces

266
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:32,763
on TikTok, then she wants to be
like Kelly Miller.

267
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,662
Did Kelly Miller
summon demonic forces?

268
00:11:35,687 --> 00:11:37,384
I don't know, she hung herself.

269
00:11:37,409 --> 00:11:39,977
Well, we should probably keep
the girls off of TikTok.

270
00:11:40,055 --> 00:11:42,107
Yeah, just keep 'em off TikTok.

271
00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:43,933
That's some clever
counseling there.

272
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,960
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.

273
00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:47,596
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,

274
00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:48,989
you try and keep 'em off
of TikTok

275
00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:50,856
and out of
the Asian pop-up store.

276
00:11:50,947 --> 00:11:53,733
Wait, what is an Asian pop-up store?

277
00:11:53,774 --> 00:11:56,187
That's where the girls get
all the Labubus.

278
00:11:56,212 --> 00:11:57,768
Where did they find this guy?

279
00:11:57,793 --> 00:11:59,882
We told you he was
a crappy counselor

280
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,854
This is a Fox News Alert!

281
00:12:04,879 --> 00:12:07,795
As debates
on American tariffs continue,

282
00:12:07,820 --> 00:12:10,410
the question on every
American's mind tonight,

283
00:12:10,435 --> 00:12:13,096
is President Trump
fucking Satan?

284
00:12:13,121 --> 00:12:15,484
The president's been seen less
and less with his wife

285
00:12:15,509 --> 00:12:17,270
and more often with his new pal,

286
00:12:17,295 --> 00:12:19,172
making people
all around the world say,

287
00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:22,461
"Donald Trump has got to be
fucking Satan, for sure."

288
00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,863
Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical

289
00:12:24,888 --> 00:12:26,777
that President Trump
is fucking Satan,

290
00:12:26,802 --> 00:12:28,487
Fox News has obtained
some footage

291
00:12:28,512 --> 00:12:31,339
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.

292
00:12:31,482 --> 00:12:33,180
This was at
a golf course yesterday

293
00:12:33,205 --> 00:12:35,147
where the president was
heroically golfing.

294
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,044
You can just make out Satan
going behind a bush

295
00:12:37,069 --> 00:12:38,844
and President Trump
right there...

296
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:41,069
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?

297
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,640
I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,

298
00:12:43,665 --> 00:12:45,667
and I love it.

299
00:12:45,782 --> 00:12:47,462
Of course, a lot of
Americans still argue

300
00:12:47,487 --> 00:12:49,880
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.

301
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:52,181
So we have a body language
expert to show us

302
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,979
just how it is possible.

303
00:12:54,004 --> 00:12:56,929
Well, if Mr. President Trump
is fucking Satan...

304
00:12:56,954 --> 00:12:58,802
and I'm not saying
if he is or isn't.

305
00:12:58,827 --> 00:13:00,984
I'm just kinda hoping he is...

306
00:13:01,009 --> 00:13:03,663
he mostly likely
is coming in from the back.

307
00:13:03,688 --> 00:13:06,007
Now, Satan has a pretty large
physical presence,

308
00:13:06,032 --> 00:13:08,458
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top

309
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,621
and...

310
00:13:09,646 --> 00:13:11,212
My God, the president
is doing things

311
00:13:11,237 --> 00:13:12,592
no other president
has done before.

312
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,920
I love him.

313
00:13:13,945 --> 00:13:16,248
If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,

314
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,374
this definitely proves
how he could be!

315
00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:32,264
Welcome to City Asian
Pop-Up Store.

316
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,588
Take order, please.

317
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,225
Are you the one that has been
selling all these Labubus

318
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,689
to my students?

319
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,026
Boy.

320
00:13:39,051 --> 00:13:41,598
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?

321
00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:43,105
Labubus very expensive.

322
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:45,348
Those dolls you are selling
are cursed!

323
00:13:45,373 --> 00:13:46,857
Yeah, no shit they cursed.

324
00:13:46,882 --> 00:13:49,231
It's called tariff.
You pass it along.

325
00:13:49,256 --> 00:13:50,979
I get the curse,
I put the curse on you.

326
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,111
It's like AIDS.

327
00:13:52,136 --> 00:13:53,764
My God, I got it!

328
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,021
I got the super rare!

329
00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:57,699
Hey, what the hell
you talking about?

330
00:13:57,724 --> 00:13:59,342
This is the one
my girlfriend wants!

331
00:13:59,367 --> 00:14:01,282
Now I can take it
to her birthday party!

332
00:14:01,476 --> 00:14:03,414
My child, put that down,
it's dangerous!

333
00:14:03,439 --> 00:14:06,181
Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.

334
00:14:06,206 --> 00:14:09,022
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.

335
00:14:09,786 --> 00:14:12,906
_

336
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,331
My God, will you go away?

337
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,820
Listen, both of you!

338
00:14:16,845 --> 00:14:19,123
There are more important issues
at hand.

339
00:14:19,148 --> 00:14:21,790
My child, you cannot take that
to a birthday party.

340
00:14:23,444 --> 00:14:25,141
Shit, where he go?

341
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,895
Satan?

342
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,730
Why are you so sad?

343
00:14:52,076 --> 00:14:55,602
I wish to be gone
from this place.

344
00:14:57,032 --> 00:14:58,686
I do not understand.

345
00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:00,954
If you do not want to be here,

346
00:15:01,397 --> 00:15:03,015
then why do you stay?

347
00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:07,954
I am forced to stay
by the dark tides of destiny.

348
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:12,664
I wanted to leave
months ago, but I cannot

349
00:15:13,594 --> 00:15:16,693
because of what's in this box.

350
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,312
What's in the box?

351
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,414
The secret none must know,

352
00:15:24,859 --> 00:15:27,875
and yet, all will soon discover.

353
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,460
I can feel the tides of change.

354
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:35,723
The final showdown is upon us.

355
00:15:55,104 --> 00:15:56,824
Happy birthday, Red!

356
00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:57,976
Butters.

357
00:15:58,001 --> 00:16:00,702
Wait.
Is that what I think it is?

358
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,562
Well, you'll have to wait till
you open it to find out...

359
00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:05,227
All right then.

360
00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:12,841
I love you, Butters!

361
00:16:14,897 --> 00:16:16,268
I got it, you guys!

362
00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:17,689
- Wow!
- It's so cool!

363
00:16:17,757 --> 00:16:19,455
It's so cute!

364
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,849
I got the super rare,

365
00:16:20,874 --> 00:16:22,353
all thanks to Butters.

366
00:16:22,378 --> 00:16:24,162
So are you gonna do it?

367
00:16:24,187 --> 00:16:26,626
Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs
and do it!

368
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,247
Whoa! We're gonna what?

369
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597
Come up to my room, Butters!

370
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:30,622
My God!

371
00:16:31,911 --> 00:16:33,620
Hey, if anyone wants
to watch us do it,

372
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,644
come on up!

373
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,124
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.

374
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,040
This is all really sudden, Red!

375
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,108
Wait!

376
00:16:46,153 --> 00:16:48,935
South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.

377
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,459
Bev! I need to know
which of the students

378
00:16:50,484 --> 00:16:52,036
has a birthday today.

379
00:16:52,556 --> 00:16:53,556
Who is this?

380
00:16:53,581 --> 00:16:55,149
It's me, Jesus!

381
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,719
Who?

382
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,154
The school counselor!

383
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:00,951
I don't know who has
a birthday today.

384
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:03,198
That was actually always
the counselor's job.

385
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,250
Can you just look it up
in the school records, please?

386
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:07,840
Hang on.

387
00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:09,793
Guess I'm doing
your job too now.

388
00:17:11,358 --> 00:17:13,617
- Okay, okay.
- My God.

389
00:17:13,642 --> 00:17:15,585
I'm so excited to finally do it.

390
00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:18,570
Well, yeah, I guess
I'm excited to do it, too, Red.

391
00:17:18,831 --> 00:17:20,527
Okay, I think we're all ready.

392
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,701
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.

393
00:17:22,726 --> 00:17:24,727
Can't we just kiss first?

394
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,079
Hey! What's up, guys?
This is my TikTok Labubu video.

395
00:17:28,104 --> 00:17:30,367
I got the super rare,
so let's see if it works.

396
00:17:30,474 --> 00:17:31,780
Hey, we want to watch.

397
00:17:31,805 --> 00:17:33,755
Yeah, come on in, you guys.

398
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:38,499
Labubu, Labubu.

399
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,208
Labubu, Labubu.

400
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,335
- What the heck's going on?
- Labubu, Labubu.

401
00:17:44,912 --> 00:17:46,064
God!

402
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:56,891
Labubu, Labubu.

403
00:17:56,916 --> 00:17:58,525
Labubu, Labubu.

404
00:17:58,550 --> 00:18:00,279
Labubu, Labubu.

405
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:01,852
Here he comes!

406
00:18:07,156 --> 00:18:08,853
We call the demonic forces!

407
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:11,306
Appear before us
at my birthday party!

408
00:18:11,373 --> 00:18:12,917
This is so cool!

409
00:18:19,467 --> 00:18:21,471
Wait, that thing
is fucking Satan?

410
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,224
No! I'm not fucking Satan!

411
00:18:28,364 --> 00:18:31,846
This is a Fox News Super Alert!

412
00:18:31,951 --> 00:18:35,254
We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.

413
00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:36,598
The two are rumored to be

414
00:18:36,623 --> 00:18:38,118
in a small mountain town
in the Rockies.

415
00:18:38,143 --> 00:18:40,437
Let's go to
our Colorado affiliate.

416
00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:43,121
Yeah, guys,
there's definitely black clouds

417
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,167
and swarms of locusts here.

418
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,628
Um, probably another
Labubu party.

419
00:18:47,653 --> 00:18:49,306
You know,
whenever there's a Labubu party,

420
00:18:49,331 --> 00:18:51,634
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.

421
00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,324
We've got our
eye in the sky now.

422
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,742
Guys, what are you seeing?

423
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,470
Yeah, you can see little girls

424
00:18:56,495 --> 00:18:58,110
running and screaming.

425
00:18:58,135 --> 00:19:00,288
The president just coming out
onto the front lawn...

426
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,836
and yes, there is Satan.

427
00:19:01,861 --> 00:19:03,695
They're definitely hanging out.

428
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,949
Come on, let's go!

429
00:19:06,493 --> 00:19:07,922
Lucifer!

430
00:19:10,102 --> 00:19:11,276
So...

431
00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:13,369
it is you.

432
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,936
Just what are you doing, Satan?

433
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,633
I will know.

434
00:19:19,106 --> 00:19:22,288
Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene

435
00:19:22,313 --> 00:19:24,575
for some kind of
biblical showdown.

436
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,862
I have seen your evil at work, Satan.

437
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:29,236
I bid you leave this realm at once.

438
00:19:29,261 --> 00:19:31,715
You think I don't want to leave?

439
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,698
I am bound to him!

440
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,825
Bound to him how?

441
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,044
All right, fine! Here!

442
00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:40,575
You all want to know the truth?

443
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:45,158
Yes! We're together!

444
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,267
We've been together for months,

445
00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:50,352
and I want to leave him,
but I can't

446
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:51,978
because...

447
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,802
I'm pregnant.

448
00:20:03,397 --> 00:20:05,017
He's pregnant?

449
00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:08,198
So now you all know.

450
00:20:08,502 --> 00:20:10,895
I am forced to stay
in this situation

451
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:12,667
for several more years.

452
00:20:16,264 --> 00:20:19,441
Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House

453
00:20:19,466 --> 00:20:21,555
because he's pregnant.

454
00:20:21,580 --> 00:20:23,759
Let's get our science expert in here

455
00:20:23,784 --> 00:20:26,003
to see if
that's actually possible.

456
00:20:26,028 --> 00:20:29,638
Yeah, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.

457
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,089
The term is "butt baby."

458
00:20:32,269 --> 00:20:33,762
All right, well,
that seems to be it.

459
00:20:33,787 --> 00:20:36,742
Satan is pregnant with the
president's child.

460
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:39,641
So Fox News can now confirm

461
00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:42,826
Donald Trump has been fucking
Satan this whole time.

462
00:20:42,851 --> 00:20:44,112
Yeah!

463
00:20:44,137 --> 00:20:45,784
This is a great day
for Fox News.

464
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:47,600
Yes, Fox News!

465
00:20:47,786 --> 00:20:49,740
For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump

466
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:51,245
wasn't fucking Satan,

467
00:20:51,439 --> 00:20:52,683
in your face!

468
00:20:52,865 --> 00:20:54,761
We're gonna check in now
with Kid Rock.

469
00:20:54,786 --> 00:20:57,118
Kid, you must be overcome
with emotion.

470
00:20:57,226 --> 00:20:59,692
I just... I just
honestly didn't think

471
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,834
the president was fucking Satan, but

472
00:21:01,859 --> 00:21:04,934
now knowing that he has been
this whole time,

473
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,104
I'm just so happy.

474
00:21:11,023 --> 00:21:13,943
Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.

475
00:21:14,297 --> 00:21:16,718
If you mess around
and you aren't safe,

476
00:21:16,787 --> 00:21:19,198
it can have really
big consequences.

477
00:21:21,707 --> 00:21:24,100
Yeah, I'm not having sex
for a long time.

478
00:21:24,125 --> 00:21:25,936
And I'm done with Labubus.

479
00:21:25,961 --> 00:21:28,311
Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,

480
00:21:28,401 --> 00:21:30,533
I'm banning Labubus from school.

481
00:21:30,558 --> 00:21:33,170
And TikTok.
And cell phones.

482
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,423
Now get back to class.

483
00:21:34,448 --> 00:21:36,082
You both have detention
for two weeks.

484
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:37,579
Man!

485
00:21:38,494 --> 00:21:40,626
Wow, new counselor's
kind of a dick.

486
00:21:40,651 --> 00:21:42,996
Yeah, but he's better
than the last guy.

487
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:55,393
credits