1 00:00:13,490 --> 00:00:16,590 Just have a seat right there. Would you like a drink or... 2 00:00:16,591 --> 00:00:17,960 - No. - No? 3 00:00:17,961 --> 00:00:19,830 How about a fresh glass of water? 4 00:00:19,831 --> 00:00:23,030 I have to just go back and gather myself with my buddies 5 00:00:23,031 --> 00:00:25,970 - before we start this. Okay? - Okay. 6 00:00:25,971 --> 00:00:27,570 - Right. Good. - But we are on the clock. 7 00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:29,610 Oh, yeah. And for the record, you know, 8 00:00:29,611 --> 00:00:32,540 you might want to jot down how well you're being treated 9 00:00:32,541 --> 00:00:35,040 at this professional establishment. 10 00:00:35,610 --> 00:00:37,580 - Frank, get over here. - Is she from the newspaper? 11 00:00:37,581 --> 00:00:39,450 We are in big trouble. 12 00:00:39,451 --> 00:00:41,980 We gotta come up with a statement for this reporter. 13 00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:44,390 - She's gonna butcher us. - Yeah, this is bad. 14 00:00:44,391 --> 00:00:46,690 Why don't we play dumb? Why do we have to come up with a statement? 15 00:00:46,691 --> 00:00:49,890 Because they found 500 gallons of baby oil dumped in the Schuylkill River. 16 00:00:49,891 --> 00:00:52,590 Wait. Dee might be right, 'cause they can't actually prove that that was us. 17 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,860 Well, the 200 Paddy's pub T-shirts floating around in it 18 00:00:54,861 --> 00:00:56,900 - aren't exactly helping our case, pal. - Yeah, not helping. 19 00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:58,900 This is a good thing. This could be our Paddy's-gate. 20 00:00:58,901 --> 00:01:01,070 - Okay, there you go. - No, but gates aren't a good thing. 21 00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:02,540 I mean, Pizzagate, Watergate. 22 00:01:02,541 --> 00:01:03,970 - Nipplegate. Nipplegate. - Nipplegate. 23 00:01:03,971 --> 00:01:05,321 Janet Jackson's career was never the same. 24 00:01:05,346 --> 00:01:06,341 You're right, what happened... 25 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:08,438 - Some things you gotta keep covered up. - Based off that. Yeah. 26 00:01:08,463 --> 00:01:11,785 - We've gotta come up with a statement. - Guys, guys, guys, guys! 27 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:13,226 We can handle this. 28 00:01:13,251 --> 00:01:15,550 I mean this is why we went to that corporate retreat in Idaho. 29 00:01:15,551 --> 00:01:16,958 - Hmm. - Right, right. 30 00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:19,560 We didn't go to the retreat so much as watched clips of it on YouTube, 31 00:01:19,561 --> 00:01:21,820 but, you know, you're right, Mac. Normally a situation like this 32 00:01:21,821 --> 00:01:24,560 would have me clawing all your faces off. 33 00:01:24,561 --> 00:01:27,400 But I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna utilize my words. 34 00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,670 I do see your hand is still in a bit of a claw. 35 00:01:30,671 --> 00:01:32,030 Yeah, I was ready to pounce. 36 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,770 I had it hidden behind my head. I was ready... 37 00:01:33,771 --> 00:01:35,940 - Yeah, I hid it behind my leg. - I had a feeling. 38 00:01:35,941 --> 00:01:38,810 - Should we un... - No, let's all unclaw our hands. 39 00:01:38,811 --> 00:01:40,880 - Right? Because that was the old way. - Yeah, yeah. 40 00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:42,610 This is the new way, right? 41 00:01:42,611 --> 00:01:43,980 We've got the tools from the corporate retreat. 42 00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,980 - We've got the vocabulary. - Yeah. 43 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,820 We've got these awesome fleece vests inspired by the retreat. 44 00:01:47,821 --> 00:01:49,890 - Oh, my God, I love the fleece. - God, I love these vests. 45 00:01:49,891 --> 00:01:51,330 You can let it all go under here. 46 00:01:51,355 --> 00:01:53,990 I appreciate you springing for that, Frank. Thank you very much. 47 00:01:53,991 --> 00:01:56,360 So, listen, we can handle this unpleasantry 48 00:01:56,361 --> 00:01:58,990 with the grace and elegance of any major corporation 49 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:04,400 by utilizing a little thought leadership and simply talking this thing out. 50 00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:07,930 _ 51 00:02:07,955 --> 00:02:11,129 credits 52 00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:33,235 First and foremost, the business must be protected at all times. 53 00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:34,160 - Yeah. - Yes. 54 00:02:34,185 --> 00:02:36,475 The business is infinitely more important than any individual. 55 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:40,800 Yes, we are, of course, a family, but human emotion notwithstanding, 56 00:02:40,801 --> 00:02:43,770 I would be remiss not to mention that we are a business first, 57 00:02:43,771 --> 00:02:46,940 and as a business, we must behave as such. 58 00:02:46,941 --> 00:02:51,450 So I would like to posit, respectfully, of course, that we put forth an offering. 59 00:02:51,451 --> 00:02:53,680 - Yes, a lamb if you will. - No, I would say, uh, 60 00:02:53,681 --> 00:02:56,620 that lamb right now could be tender and delicious, 61 00:02:56,621 --> 00:02:59,590 but we have kind of bigger issues that we're dealing with 62 00:02:59,591 --> 00:03:01,560 that we need to discuss, and maybe, you know, 63 00:03:01,561 --> 00:03:03,730 eating lamb is not the best thing. 64 00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:05,760 - Momentarily speaking. - Thank you for that, Charlie, 65 00:03:05,761 --> 00:03:08,500 but of course I'm speaking of a sacrificial lamb. 66 00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,600 - Ah! - Maybe we need to 67 00:03:10,601 --> 00:03:12,500 walk through the series of events 68 00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,770 of the incident to figure out who the fall guy should be, 69 00:03:14,771 --> 00:03:19,540 and I would like to respectfully point out that the phrase is fall "guy." 70 00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:22,540 Thank you for pointing out that gender inequity, Dee. 71 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:24,950 And, henceforth, let's refer to that position 72 00:03:24,951 --> 00:03:26,980 - as "fall person." - Mmm. 73 00:03:26,981 --> 00:03:30,350 Or we could circle back to, uh, animal-related, uh, conversations. 74 00:03:30,351 --> 00:03:34,490 We could consider "fall fish," uh, or "scapefish" or even "fall bird," 75 00:03:34,491 --> 00:03:35,860 and then we're back to Dee. 76 00:03:35,861 --> 00:03:37,960 Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry guys, but, um, 77 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,660 but my hand is so tightly clenched into a claw. 78 00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:44,330 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Same. 79 00:03:44,331 --> 00:03:46,500 - I'm feeling the claw again. - Same. 80 00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:48,640 All right, so why don't we do this? Let's all take a deep breath 81 00:03:48,641 --> 00:03:50,670 before we continue this conversation. 82 00:03:50,671 --> 00:03:52,070 Unclaw our hands. 83 00:03:58,850 --> 00:04:00,450 I think Dee is right. 84 00:04:00,886 --> 00:04:03,910 I think we got to take this mess from the beginning to find out how we got here. 85 00:04:03,935 --> 00:04:06,015 - Uh-huh. - Find out who's really to blame. 86 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,595 Now, as you recall, it all started several weeks ago... 87 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,978 Whoa! 88 00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:12,760 ...when Frank found that jug out back. 89 00:04:12,761 --> 00:04:14,630 Yo, let me blow on that. 90 00:04:14,631 --> 00:04:17,470 No, you make sounds when you bang on it, not blow on it. 91 00:04:17,471 --> 00:04:19,570 - No, you blow on it. - No, no. Yeah, yeah. 92 00:04:19,571 --> 00:04:21,600 It sounds different when you put water... 93 00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:23,640 - But it's gonna be much deeper, like... - No, no, no. He's right. 94 00:04:23,641 --> 00:04:25,640 - You don't blow on it... - If you blow on it like that, it gets... 95 00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,340 You turn it upside-down... 96 00:04:27,341 --> 00:04:29,307 You don't bang on it... 97 00:04:29,332 --> 00:04:32,550 That led to a vigorous debate, which in turn led to vigorous clawing 98 00:04:32,551 --> 00:04:35,850 until we decided to stop fighting and, you know, simply get our own jugs. 99 00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:41,660 Annoyingly, however, the jugs were filled with fluid. 100 00:04:41,661 --> 00:04:43,660 What are we supposed to do with all this fluid? 101 00:04:45,821 --> 00:04:49,000 Uh... Yeah, can't really play them as an instrument until we... 102 00:04:49,001 --> 00:04:50,530 - Oh. - Yeah, that's a problem. 103 00:04:50,531 --> 00:04:52,830 We could... w-wash the bar with it. 104 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,000 Uh, you don't wanna wash the bar with a... with a water-based liquid. 105 00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,910 - Make a fire and... - Plants love that. 106 00:04:57,911 --> 00:04:59,780 - Make a fire and put water... - Make a fire and put it out. 107 00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:01,610 What are you talking about? We're not gonna make a fire. 108 00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:03,580 - Well, if we start a fire... - Why would we start a fire? 109 00:05:03,581 --> 00:05:06,350 So we... so we have a reason to use all this liquid. 110 00:05:06,351 --> 00:05:09,890 After an hour-long argument about the best way to dispose of the fluid, 111 00:05:09,891 --> 00:05:12,450 we caved and decided the best way to make the jugs empty 112 00:05:12,460 --> 00:05:14,560 was to simply drink the water. 113 00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:18,330 Now if I'm braising something, is that a way to cook something, 114 00:05:18,331 --> 00:05:19,560 or is that shellacking it? 115 00:05:19,561 --> 00:05:21,360 Like, am I putting sauce on it? 116 00:05:21,361 --> 00:05:22,870 The inadvertent effect of the watercooler 117 00:05:22,871 --> 00:05:25,100 was not just hydration, but conversation. 118 00:05:25,101 --> 00:05:27,370 Is it about the sauce or the cooking technique or both? 119 00:05:27,371 --> 00:05:28,801 - It's about the crisping. - About both. 120 00:05:28,826 --> 00:05:31,420 The water tank became a think tank for business scaffolding, 121 00:05:31,445 --> 00:05:34,740 as well as recent health initiatives and, you know, general interest. 122 00:05:34,741 --> 00:05:39,550 Well, now I've taken to using baby oil almost exclusively when I get out of the shower. 123 00:05:39,551 --> 00:05:41,920 You know, I-I don't know if you guys know this, 124 00:05:41,921 --> 00:05:44,750 but you can actually put a tablespoon of baby oil in your coffee in the morning 125 00:05:44,751 --> 00:05:47,158 and it resets the pH balance of your gut biome. 126 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,022 You drink it? 127 00:05:49,047 --> 00:05:51,630 You know, if you're gonna dump stuff, the best place is the ocean. 128 00:05:51,631 --> 00:05:55,588 I mean, you know, in a pinch, you go to a lake or a river, 129 00:05:55,613 --> 00:05:58,870 but you wanna get rid of something, ocean is the only way to go. 130 00:05:58,871 --> 00:06:01,100 Dennis, how do they get the oil out of the baby? 131 00:06:01,101 --> 00:06:04,440 Do they have to mash the babies up or grind them? 132 00:06:04,441 --> 00:06:07,580 Is it babies that are sick and dying already, or what is the oil... 133 00:06:07,581 --> 00:06:10,050 Don't be an idiot, Charlie. The babies are alive. 134 00:06:10,051 --> 00:06:12,680 They just wring them out like an old rag. 135 00:06:12,681 --> 00:06:15,520 The Cybertruck is by far the coolest piece of machinery 136 00:06:15,521 --> 00:06:17,350 that the space nerd has ever made. Right? 137 00:06:17,351 --> 00:06:18,890 - Absolutely. - I love that truck. 138 00:06:18,891 --> 00:06:20,560 I'm furious that all cars don't look like that. 139 00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,420 Dude, totally. You know what it is? 140 00:06:22,430 --> 00:06:24,968 It delivers on the promise of the future from our youth. 141 00:06:25,003 --> 00:06:25,792 - Yes. - Right? 142 00:06:25,817 --> 00:06:27,860 We thought all cars were going to look like that back in the day. 143 00:06:27,861 --> 00:06:30,030 Hard lines, sharp corners, DeLorean-like materials. 144 00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:32,730 Yeah, you know, it's the transportation fitting of a Terminator. 145 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,770 - Totally a Terminator. - Yeah, absolutely. 146 00:06:34,771 --> 00:06:36,370 Yeah, it's like a rhombus on wheels. 147 00:06:36,371 --> 00:06:37,840 - Right, right. Absolutely. - That's right. 148 00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:39,576 We were firing on all cylinders, 149 00:06:39,601 --> 00:06:43,450 but things took a most exciting turn when one particular topic was raised. 150 00:06:43,451 --> 00:06:45,610 Gentlemen, what are your thoughts on slap fighting? 151 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,920 Slap fighting? I'm not aware of this. 152 00:06:49,921 --> 00:06:51,820 Oh. Well, let me tell you. 153 00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:54,720 Just like the Cybertruck is the future of transportation, 154 00:06:54,721 --> 00:06:57,860 slap fighting is the future of dispute mitigation. 155 00:06:59,957 --> 00:07:03,135 And, my God, was he right. We had to try our hand at it. 156 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,930 - The Egyptians, they like the cats. - Yeah. They like them. 157 00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,840 I know, but it's a... it's a cat-based society, you know what I mean? 158 00:07:08,841 --> 00:07:10,940 Yeah, but I understand that. But... 159 00:07:10,941 --> 00:07:13,510 - The cats are a huge part of their thing. - They like the cats. 160 00:07:13,511 --> 00:07:15,440 Everybody loved it. We swapped out the clawing for slapping. 161 00:07:15,450 --> 00:07:17,550 I mean, we were using it to-to-to settle arguments. 162 00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:19,850 We were using it to end the day, to start the day, 163 00:07:19,851 --> 00:07:21,650 to say goodbye, to say hello... 164 00:07:21,651 --> 00:07:23,620 ...to celebrate, to mourn, everything, you know. 165 00:07:23,621 --> 00:07:27,333 But then Mac had a business idea. 166 00:07:28,860 --> 00:07:33,985 Gentlemen, let's discuss professional slap fighting. 167 00:07:35,906 --> 00:07:38,770 We were all slapped across the proverbial cheeks with this venture. 168 00:07:39,276 --> 00:07:40,806 Oh, shit. 169 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,670 Take your shirts off, though. 170 00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:45,970 Whoa! 171 00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,640 It was his hand-face-based business venture 172 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:51,350 that led to the off-lining of certain corporate assets 173 00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:53,780 into various aquatic bodies. 174 00:07:53,781 --> 00:07:58,820 So, Mac is clearly the prime candidate to fall on the metaphorical sword here. Yes? 175 00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:01,020 - Yeah. Sounds good. - Sure. Well, yeah. That adds up, right? 176 00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,560 Mm-hmm. That does seem to be the proper mathing. Yes. 177 00:08:03,561 --> 00:08:05,460 Yeah, I do... I do hear you guys on this. 178 00:08:05,461 --> 00:08:07,760 As long as we're outside of the earshot of this reporter, 179 00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:11,482 I'd like to add, you can stick this line of logic up your various assholes. 180 00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,340 Hmm. 181 00:08:13,341 --> 00:08:14,970 - All right, that's harsher language... - Interesting point. 182 00:08:14,971 --> 00:08:16,710 ...than I thought we were allowed to use here, but... 183 00:08:16,711 --> 00:08:18,970 Also Dennis is leaving out a core friction point. 184 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,947 Things were going smoothly 185 00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:24,350 until Dennis pointed out that the whole thing sorely lacked eroticism. 186 00:08:24,351 --> 00:08:25,850 Slaps and profits have gone up. 187 00:08:25,851 --> 00:08:27,450 - That's great. - Uh-huh. 188 00:08:27,451 --> 00:08:29,320 But chick saturation has gone down. 189 00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:30,850 - That's not good. - Uh-uh. 190 00:08:30,851 --> 00:08:33,020 The whole thing is sorely lacking eroticism. 191 00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,460 - The data is alarming. - Yeah. 192 00:08:35,461 --> 00:08:37,660 - Yeah! Yeah, yeah. - Well, let's fix that. 193 00:08:37,661 --> 00:08:38,814 - Go on. - Yeah, yeah. 194 00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:41,060 He pitched something with the eroticism of mud wrestling 195 00:08:41,061 --> 00:08:42,950 and the aggression of a Cybertruck. 196 00:08:42,975 --> 00:08:44,700 The world just has not delivered 197 00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:47,700 on the future that we were promised when we were growing up. 198 00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:51,570 We were promised mud wrestling. We were promised wet T-shirt contests. 199 00:08:51,571 --> 00:08:53,680 We were promised women going wild. 200 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:56,480 At a certain point, we stopped women from going wild. 201 00:08:56,481 --> 00:08:57,910 Why did we do that? 202 00:08:57,911 --> 00:08:59,750 - They wanna go wild. - They should go wild. 203 00:08:59,751 --> 00:09:03,090 They want to go wild. Let's let them go wild. 204 00:09:03,091 --> 00:09:06,720 They're too dry, and so they don't feel wild. 205 00:09:06,721 --> 00:09:09,730 Yeah, exactly. Guys, let's get back to our core values. 206 00:09:09,731 --> 00:09:14,400 Th-There is an underserved market for one-on-one erotic sport competition 207 00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:17,482 between scantily-clad, oiled-up women. 208 00:09:17,507 --> 00:09:19,670 He proposed pivoting away from dudes 209 00:09:19,671 --> 00:09:23,766 and investing all of our resources more heavily into women and baby oil. 210 00:09:24,570 --> 00:09:26,640 Whoa! 211 00:09:28,495 --> 00:09:32,750 This is why Dennis's head must roll. I compliment him on the innovation, 212 00:09:32,751 --> 00:09:36,033 but the idea was a little chunky, if I'm being honest. 213 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,650 My personal distaste for women aside, 214 00:09:37,651 --> 00:09:39,560 I think you crapped the bed on the execution. 215 00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:41,760 We were over-leveraged in the baby oil department 216 00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:44,660 and subsequential environmental what-have-yous 217 00:09:44,661 --> 00:09:48,000 from the off-lining have left us in this particular situation. 218 00:09:48,001 --> 00:09:51,900 Which is why I nominate Dennis. Right time, right skull. 219 00:09:51,901 --> 00:09:54,340 - I like it. I like it. - I gotta say I'm impressed. 220 00:09:54,341 --> 00:09:55,970 You know, you're coming at me open-kimono here, 221 00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,440 and I appreciate that, so kudos, you know. 222 00:09:58,441 --> 00:10:01,710 But I do think we need to helicopter up, stretch the vantage point a little bit. 223 00:10:01,711 --> 00:10:03,780 I think we need to chew on the key protein here, 224 00:10:03,781 --> 00:10:06,980 - which I believe to be Dee. - Mmm. 225 00:10:07,797 --> 00:10:10,363 With the women slappers in the bar, we were thriving, 226 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:14,560 but we weren't quite reaching the erotic escape velocity that I was hoping for. 227 00:10:14,561 --> 00:10:16,090 I mean... really, all it is 228 00:10:16,091 --> 00:10:18,535 is there's one lingering problem with the women. 229 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,600 - What? They're ugly. - They're ugly. 230 00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:22,460 - I didn't wanna say it, but they are ugly. - Yeah. 231 00:10:22,470 --> 00:10:24,465 They're a bit gruff, aren't they? 232 00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:28,754 The big issue for me is you can't put baby oil on any of these women, you know. 233 00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:29,470 They'll bite you. 234 00:10:29,471 --> 00:10:31,870 I had one almost bend my arm completely in half. 235 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,380 - I tried to put baby oil on her and she... - I got pinned by her too, man. 236 00:10:35,381 --> 00:10:38,550 Yeah, yeah. So you know, like, chick saturation is up. That's good. 237 00:10:38,551 --> 00:10:41,450 - But the attractive/oil saturation... - It's way down, yeah. 238 00:10:41,451 --> 00:10:43,720 - It's way down. - Way down. Why is that? 239 00:10:43,721 --> 00:10:47,094 So, we need to find a way to lure in hotter women. 240 00:10:47,129 --> 00:10:49,094 Yeah, that's all it is. You know what I mean? 241 00:10:49,129 --> 00:10:50,460 Anybody got any ideas? 242 00:10:50,461 --> 00:10:52,690 Back in the day when we were taking down all the aluminum siding, 243 00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,560 what are we gonna do with all that asbestos that was left? 244 00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:58,022 - We dumped it in the Schuylkill. - Oh, you did? 245 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,263 - Yeah. - Okay. 246 00:10:59,288 --> 00:11:02,288 But in order to get 'em to do it, we lured 'em in with a Cadillac. 247 00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:03,713 Oh! 248 00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:05,810 That's what you gotta do with the women. 249 00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:07,880 - You think we get these gals a Cadillac... - Yeah! 250 00:11:07,881 --> 00:11:09,510 ...and we say, you know, "You win a slap fight, you get a Cadillac"? 251 00:11:09,511 --> 00:11:11,310 - Everybody needs money. - Wait. 252 00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,640 I know exactly what we should do. 253 00:11:15,028 --> 00:11:16,757 Oh! I was thinking the same thing. 254 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:19,450 I doubt it. 255 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,680 Oh! 256 00:11:26,150 --> 00:11:29,380 Look at this thing. Oh, man. Frank, baby, this is quite the prize. 257 00:11:29,381 --> 00:11:31,050 - Yeah. - Nicely done, Frank. 258 00:11:31,051 --> 00:11:33,020 - Yeah. - Wow. 259 00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:34,420 Look at the hard angles on this. 260 00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:35,960 - Yeah. - It's beautiful, man. 261 00:11:35,985 --> 00:11:38,695 The Cybertruck lured in a much sexier talent pool. 262 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,760 We were really excited about the quality of slapper, 263 00:11:40,761 --> 00:11:43,960 but there was one that stood out above all the others. 264 00:11:43,961 --> 00:11:45,700 I mean, we couldn't take our eyes off her. 265 00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:47,700 I can't wait to see the headlights on her. 266 00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:49,170 - Yeah! - Yeah. 267 00:11:49,171 --> 00:11:51,064 Yeah. Well, and you never will see 'em, Frank. 268 00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:52,985 Because there's only one single headlight. 269 00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:55,110 - It's a single headlight, yeah. - Oh. 270 00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:57,710 We couldn't give her away. We had to have her. 271 00:11:57,711 --> 00:12:00,880 It wasn't long before we came up with a plan to retain her for ourselves. 272 00:12:00,881 --> 00:12:03,150 We would just have to win the slap contest, you know. 273 00:12:03,151 --> 00:12:05,780 We needed a ringer, someone to tear through these waifish models 274 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,420 and ensure the truck would remain in our portfolio. 275 00:12:08,421 --> 00:12:10,260 Figure something out though. 276 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:11,360 What are you guys doing? 277 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,060 Huh? 278 00:12:27,483 --> 00:12:29,840 Oh! 279 00:12:39,213 --> 00:12:40,720 Dee was tearing through girls 280 00:12:40,721 --> 00:12:42,720 like a paper shredder through company records. 281 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,120 And we knew she would, as I had explained it with a graph. 282 00:12:45,121 --> 00:12:48,230 The lower the self-esteem, the harder the slap. And Dee could take a hit too. 283 00:12:48,231 --> 00:12:50,454 Right? Years of getting slapped around by Frank, right? 284 00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,551 - Yeah. - Those were the days. 285 00:12:52,576 --> 00:12:55,238 - Oh, yeah. Better times. - If say so, buddy. If you say so. 286 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,482 She had it all, and she delivered slap after slap. 287 00:12:58,507 --> 00:13:01,110 Sexy women, aggressive violence, futuristic trucks. 288 00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:05,369 Everything was going according to plan. Till Dee got knocked out. 289 00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,780 Dee, I thank you for your service. I love you like a sister. 290 00:13:09,781 --> 00:13:11,250 Well, I am your sister. 291 00:13:11,251 --> 00:13:12,980 Well, you know, familial ties notwithstanding. 292 00:13:12,990 --> 00:13:15,350 Uh, I think you kinda drained the kettle on that one. 293 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:16,846 And, hey, you know, no offense, 294 00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:19,539 but I think you've proven yourself to be pretty good at taking a fall. 295 00:13:21,172 --> 00:13:23,622 Guys, I know things are getting hot, okay? 296 00:13:23,647 --> 00:13:26,082 But I think we're styling the wrong mannequin here. 297 00:13:26,201 --> 00:13:27,843 I would have won that competition 298 00:13:27,868 --> 00:13:30,245 if it wasn't for our associate deviating from the business plan, 299 00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:32,240 and that would be Charlie. 300 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,022 Oh. Uh... Wow. 301 00:13:35,057 --> 00:13:37,180 He fell back on some old bad habits. 302 00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,610 Fool. 303 00:13:40,876 --> 00:13:42,750 What's up? 304 00:13:42,751 --> 00:13:44,980 - What's going on? New car? I like it. - Oh, God. 305 00:13:44,981 --> 00:13:47,920 - Okay. What is this? Why are you here? - Pretty sweet. Is that a Geo? 306 00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:49,850 Well, I got a business opportunity for you. 307 00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:51,290 Oh, a business opportunity? 308 00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:52,990 - Yeah. Check this out. - Oh, good. 309 00:13:52,991 --> 00:13:54,430 - Yeah, you're gonna like this. - Great. I bet. 310 00:13:54,431 --> 00:13:56,230 We're doing these oiled-up slap fights in the bar. 311 00:13:56,231 --> 00:13:57,589 Oiled-up slap fights? 312 00:13:57,614 --> 00:13:59,260 Yeah, we're oiling girls and they're slapping each other. 313 00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:00,718 - You're oiling girls up? - Yeah. 314 00:14:00,743 --> 00:14:02,970 So I could oil you or you could oil yourself, but... 315 00:14:02,971 --> 00:14:05,040 Did you come here to ask me if I want to get oiled by you? 316 00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:07,240 - Are you stalking me again? - Yeah. 317 00:14:07,241 --> 00:14:11,310 Stalking? Whoa. Since when did I ever stalk you? No, that's not my thing. 318 00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:12,780 - Flirting, maybe. But... - Okay. 319 00:14:12,781 --> 00:14:14,110 Hey, look, you don't have to do it, 320 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,050 but I will say that the winner of the thing is gonna get a free truck, 321 00:14:17,051 --> 00:14:19,950 but I suppose you like this car better, you know. 322 00:14:21,386 --> 00:14:22,760 You're giving away a truck? 323 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:24,920 A Cybertruck. 324 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,272 Mmm. 325 00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:30,160 Little did he know that she wasn't just driving that crappy car, 326 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,730 she was living in it. 327 00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,870 The allure of the Cybertruck 328 00:14:41,871 --> 00:14:44,310 and a lifetime of petty misery suffered by this woman 329 00:14:44,311 --> 00:14:46,010 rendered her unstoppable. 330 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:49,210 Yeah. Okay. Who's next? 331 00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:53,790 Uh... Hey. I got an idea, all right? 332 00:14:53,791 --> 00:14:56,890 W-What if you and I get a little side pot going, right? 333 00:14:56,891 --> 00:14:59,790 You and me, we... we tone down on the slaps, we call it a tie, 334 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:01,524 and that way we can share the Cyber... 335 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,840 Yeah! 336 00:15:13,841 --> 00:15:15,549 I was sucker-punched. 337 00:15:15,584 --> 00:15:16,410 - No. - No. 338 00:15:16,411 --> 00:15:17,910 - Mm-mmm. - In your dreams. 339 00:15:17,911 --> 00:15:19,440 No. You were looking right at her. 340 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,432 She slapped the shit out of me, but I wasn't ready. 341 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,420 It was uncalled for and it wasn't fair. 342 00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:25,250 To make matters worse, Frank reversed course 343 00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:26,990 and refused to make her whole. 344 00:15:26,991 --> 00:15:28,720 What do you mean I don't get the truck? 345 00:15:28,721 --> 00:15:31,120 - It's all in the terms and conditions. - What? 346 00:15:31,121 --> 00:15:34,090 Look. "Cybertruck not included." Can you read? 347 00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:36,430 - Oh, my God! - Can you read? 348 00:15:36,431 --> 00:15:38,360 - What? - Oh, my God. 349 00:15:38,361 --> 00:15:40,230 - Screw you. Screw you guys so hard! - In plain writing. 350 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,700 - Oh, I'm taking this public. For this. - Don't you dare. 351 00:15:42,701 --> 00:15:44,740 Needless to say, she was pissed, and she promised to go public. 352 00:15:44,741 --> 00:15:46,710 And let's face it, we didn't have permits for any of this. 353 00:15:46,711 --> 00:15:49,170 Which led to the panic and dumping of assets 354 00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:52,110 to erase the trail of corporate culture and create plausible deniability. 355 00:15:52,111 --> 00:15:53,776 I'm gonna call the newspaper. 356 00:15:53,801 --> 00:15:56,410 As the crow flies here, I think we could all see from a bird's-eye view 357 00:15:56,420 --> 00:15:58,937 that had Charlie not invited the Waitress, none of this would've happened. 358 00:15:58,972 --> 00:16:00,120 So Charlie should take the fall. 359 00:16:00,121 --> 00:16:01,990 And I would say all due respect, but I don't respect you. 360 00:16:01,991 --> 00:16:05,020 It's true, Charlie. We may have reached our inflection point. 361 00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:06,990 Okay, great. Yeah, that's all good. Yeah. 362 00:16:06,991 --> 00:16:09,390 And I-I'm hearing you guys, you know, ear-wise. 363 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,460 And, um, you know, mouth-wise, uh, you're giving me various wordables, 364 00:16:13,470 --> 00:16:15,670 uh, that are adding up to thoughts. 365 00:16:15,671 --> 00:16:18,300 This is good. I see how you're trying to clip my wings so that I can fly. 366 00:16:18,301 --> 00:16:20,540 That's not how birds work. That makes them "un-fly." 367 00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:23,010 Okay. I did not know that you were the bird expert. 368 00:16:23,011 --> 00:16:26,280 But I would like to pivot here, you know, before I fall on the sword, 369 00:16:26,281 --> 00:16:31,180 and say that I was also using my eyeballs this entire time for various observables. 370 00:16:31,181 --> 00:16:36,550 Because I realized... ...that Frank was, you know, 371 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,160 growing in hardness as the eroticism in the bar was increasing. 372 00:16:40,161 --> 00:16:43,260 And, uh, he was becoming as hard as a Cybertruck himself, 373 00:16:43,261 --> 00:16:44,660 you know, which you could see. 374 00:16:44,661 --> 00:16:46,330 Cheese, of course, is also on this graph. 375 00:16:46,331 --> 00:16:48,570 - Just keep going. - Uh, moving past. 376 00:16:48,571 --> 00:16:52,400 Well, the main thing here is that I think we now have our open-sliced lamb. 377 00:16:52,401 --> 00:16:54,540 You know, open commando person. 378 00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:57,080 - What? - What are you saying? 379 00:16:57,081 --> 00:16:58,585 I'm saying it should be Frank, man. 380 00:16:58,610 --> 00:17:01,410 Because he was throwing an orgy in the basement the entire time. 381 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,268 - What? - Yes. 382 00:17:03,293 --> 00:17:06,280 I realized Frank was trying to capitalize on the erotic environment 383 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:09,190 and pivot into a more orgasmic business model, right? 384 00:17:09,191 --> 00:17:13,690 And I noticed various unsavory investors were paying Frank 385 00:17:13,691 --> 00:17:16,160 to try to get in on the ground floor. 386 00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:17,768 Dear God. Damn, you are not good at this. 387 00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:19,660 I'm tryna say dudes were paying Frank to go into the basement. 388 00:17:19,670 --> 00:17:20,770 - Mm-hmm. - Right. 389 00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:24,400 And he was failing in his efforts to poach talent from the slapping pool. 390 00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:28,440 Ooh. I like those straps, and I can't wait to see it off. Let's go downstairs. 391 00:17:28,441 --> 00:17:31,180 And I knew this 'cause chicks were slapping him constantly. 392 00:17:31,181 --> 00:17:35,480 But then I saw him trying to headhunt for new key players in this thing. 393 00:17:35,481 --> 00:17:39,220 Yo, baby. I need a prostitute. 394 00:17:39,221 --> 00:17:41,620 But he was running up against some logistical hurdles. 395 00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:43,690 Well, when's she coming back from The Bahamas? 396 00:17:43,691 --> 00:17:46,420 So, the slap fighting and the basement full of men. 397 00:17:46,430 --> 00:17:48,990 The whole thing was just a big red flag. He had a target on his back and whatnot. 398 00:17:48,991 --> 00:17:53,200 So, when The Waitress got all pissed off she wasn't gonna get a Cybertruck, 399 00:17:53,201 --> 00:17:56,330 and the police were potentially going to get involved, Frank panicked. 400 00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:58,340 He was worried about the orgy, 401 00:17:58,341 --> 00:18:01,270 which led to the dumping into the Schuylkills and whatnot. 402 00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:06,210 And so that is why he is the person that... that should take this fall. 403 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:09,010 Um, also, there's still a bunch of dudes in the basement. 404 00:18:09,011 --> 00:18:10,420 - Uh... What? Right now? - What? 405 00:18:10,421 --> 00:18:12,020 Yeah, there's, like, guys down there now. 406 00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:14,090 - Dude. - Right? How many are down there? 407 00:18:14,091 --> 00:18:16,150 - Eleven. Eleven. Eleven's the answer. - Eleven dudes in the basement. 408 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,620 - The reporter could see all this. - Yeah, one could come up. 409 00:18:17,621 --> 00:18:19,690 - It could be an issue for us. - Oh, shit. 410 00:18:19,691 --> 00:18:22,260 We got to figure out what we're gonna do and get her out of here. 411 00:18:22,261 --> 00:18:24,400 I agree with Charlie. I think Frank should take the fall for the whole thing. 412 00:18:24,401 --> 00:18:26,660 - Well, that's insane. - You drove a Cybertruck into the river. 413 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,070 I didn't know. I thought it was an aquatic vehicle. 414 00:18:29,071 --> 00:18:31,200 - It's an environmental nightmare. - It should be, but it's not. 415 00:18:31,201 --> 00:18:33,140 If anything, it looks like it goes into space. 416 00:18:33,141 --> 00:18:34,270 - Yeah, it should be but it's not. - The liberal press 417 00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:35,726 is going to crucify us. 418 00:18:35,751 --> 00:18:37,047 I gotta come clean. 419 00:18:38,210 --> 00:18:39,492 I think the truck is ugly. 420 00:18:39,517 --> 00:18:42,050 Damn it. I knew you were gonna say that. I knew she was gonna say that. 421 00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:45,420 Stupid. You're stupid. I call bullshit on that. 422 00:18:45,421 --> 00:18:47,290 All right. Enough, enough. 423 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:50,150 I've had enough with the charts and the maps and the graphs. 424 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,560 It's clear you're all good foot soldiers, loyal servants and whatnot. 425 00:18:53,561 --> 00:18:59,026 But it's time we connect the Legos here and boil down to our core values. 426 00:18:59,051 --> 00:19:02,530 Yes, hammer down on our brand identity and come out open commando. 427 00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,600 - I said the commando thing. - Didn't make sense the first time. 428 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,700 I thought it was... It sounded cool and I want to circle back. 429 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,070 - If you're doing it 'cause it's cool... - Okay. I got a plan, 430 00:19:09,071 --> 00:19:10,180 and this is it. 431 00:19:14,303 --> 00:19:15,675 Okay. Here we go. 432 00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:19,425 Um, ma'am, we are finally ready to make our statement. 433 00:19:19,450 --> 00:19:20,810 Yeah, yeah. 434 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,768 No comment. 435 00:19:25,060 --> 00:19:30,106 That said, we are no longer gonna drink, serve, or have anything to do 436 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:32,030 - that represents water. - Yeah. 437 00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:34,270 - Water is not the cornerstone of our company. - Mm-mmm. 438 00:19:34,271 --> 00:19:36,806 And we will hereby, uh, be getting rid of the watercooler. 439 00:19:36,831 --> 00:19:38,170 - Gone. - Gone. 440 00:19:38,171 --> 00:19:40,210 Excuse me, I-I'm not sure what you're talking about. 441 00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:43,641 Sorry. We got on talking like this when we started over-hydrating. 442 00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:46,040 Yeah, we watched a couple YouTube clips about a corporate retreat. 443 00:19:46,050 --> 00:19:47,650 Got some water, got hydrated. 444 00:19:47,651 --> 00:19:49,680 So, we're not gonna talk about that subject anymore. 445 00:19:49,681 --> 00:19:51,680 - No more water. - No comment is the main thing, right? 446 00:19:51,681 --> 00:19:54,238 - Yeah. What I said in the beginning. - Yeah. And no water. 447 00:19:54,263 --> 00:19:55,923 I'm sorry, do you think I'm a reporter? 448 00:19:56,703 --> 00:19:57,933 Yeah. 449 00:19:57,992 --> 00:20:00,502 No. I'm here for the orgy. 450 00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:02,331 Oh. Oh. 451 00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:05,294 Good. Great. Great. 452 00:20:05,319 --> 00:20:08,329 Oh. Hey, guys, the whore is here. 453 00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:13,510 - I was waiting for you. - I told you guys, man. 454 00:20:13,511 --> 00:20:15,370 - That's one woman. - Yeah. 455 00:20:15,371 --> 00:20:17,710 Yeah. T-That's not an orgy. That's a... 456 00:20:17,711 --> 00:20:19,240 - No. No. - That's a gangbang. 457 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,680 - No. No. - That's a gangbang, yeah. 458 00:20:20,681 --> 00:20:23,493 We really should find a way to exit Frank. 459 00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:30,601 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com