Where are you? Where the hell is everyone?
Jenny! Anyone? I've got him!
He's here.
I know you're in here!
It's over. Come on!
Out you come!
Come on!
Coward! It's finished!
Oh, Huw.
After all this time?
You were so close.
Catch you later, Detective.
CREDITS
_
I'm just saying it's probably gonna get a bit messy, that's all.
Huw, you're 55.
Yeah, well, I can still party like a 20-year-old, can't I?
Yeah What?
No, no, no! What was that?
I'm just saying, you know what those guys are like.
It's gonna get a bit wild.
Yeah. How is Toby's angina these days?
Yeah, just cos you're not invited.
I've got a date with a hot bath and a bottle of wine.
So I'm counting on you not coming home too early.
Well, you know, there's gonna be curry and karaoke.
Do not come home early.
Dead man walking.
Stop it, Frank.
He's not bursting into tears all the time, is he?
He is being a very brave little soldier. Hello!
I'm standing here. I'm... I'm fine, actually.
He does look a wee bit peaky.
Well, he would do. It's the end of the world for him today, isn't it?
Yeah.
Oh, hi. I just wanna say a quick goodbye to the guys.
I won't be a minute.
Oh, shit, Huw. Is it today? Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Oh, mate. Sorry, I'd completely forgotten.
How's Alice coping with the idea of having you home every day?
Oh, well, she's booked double time at work, so...
Yeah, she's very cool, your wife.
Anyway, mate, listen... good luck, and...
..I'm sorry you're leaving with unfinished business.
Well...
Still, you... Yeah. And...
Yeah.
Right, so...
As I was saying...
Sorry, listen, everyone, I just...
I just wanted to say I've always wanted to be a cop.
Ever since I was a kid.
My dad was one, and he, he was a giant to me, so...
I-It's been, you know...
..my life's dream, so...
Anyway, just, good luck to all of you,
and just to let you know
that I'll be over the road having a farewell pint,
so if you feel like popping in for a quick one or two
or... or ten...
Yeah! Then, I'll... I'll be there, yeah.
OK. Bye, bye...
Guv!
Guv.
Sorry about them. It's a...
It's a stressful case. It's no worries.
Buy you a drink?
Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Oh, I've got you a present. I mean, it's nothing, really, but...
Oh! Yeah.
Oh, thank you. All right.
God, they're awful, aren't they?
Yeah. Yeah.
I just... I don't know what old men like.
I just thought, you know, I should mark the occasion.
I mean, we were quite the team for a bit.
Yeah, yeah....We were.
I mean, thank you, but I don't wear cuff links.
Yeah, well. You're welcome, miserable arse.
This isn't... Isn't what?
This isn't one of those,
oh, let's just pretend to ignore him all day,
and then I'm gonna open that door and they're all gonna be there,
and I'm gonna have to do my sort of, "Oh, you guys!" sort of face, is it?
No, Guv.
Really?
Let's get the beers in, eh?
Hiya. Hi.
Oh, yeah, sorry, it's just that the freezer door doesn't close, does it?
So we're never gonna get anyone in, I thought I'd get on with it.
It's 7am!
Well, it's gotta be done at some time, hasn't it?
Oh!
Good morning, professor. Morning, captain.
Oh, could you not have brushed your teeth before you broke our freezer?
Well, I told you it'd be a big one last night,
and I am...
Anyway, I'm not breaking it, I'm fixing it.
Day one of retirement going exactly to plan.
Hello!
All right, mate?
_
'Hi, guys. Welcome to episode four of my podcast
'listing the top ten greatest cock-ups by the police
'in the last 20 years.
'Today, I'm going to tell you all about the Ripton Stalker
'and the man who failed to catch him.'
'Take a bow, Detective Inspector Huw Miller.'
So, you cook a lot, you cycle a lot, you shop a lot.
Not a care in the world. Sounds great.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
How long before you blow your brains out?
I give it about two weeks.
Yeah. About right.
Boom. Boom. Look at that.
There we go.
Huw.
It's good. I'm just...
It's just a bit harder than I expected, that's all. I...
I should never have taken early retirement. I...
I mean, I only did that because my pension had matured. I...
I've just got so much more to give.
Yeah, but you... you know, you're free now.
Yeah. Yeah, but...
Do you think there is a single person
that lives their lives without regret?
Well, this is different, though, isn't it?
It's a useless emotion.
And you know it better than anyone.
Why can't I let it go, then?
Because...
..you care more than most.
Because you're a good man.
And because you know I'm gonna beat you at golf. Oh!
And you're coming over all pathetic just to put me off my game.
There's no point in asking you anything, is there, really?
Frank!
Frank?
Frank!
Frank?
It's Huw. I just returned your club.
Frank?
I know you never can tell,
but if you were to ask me which of us would have a heart attack...
He was the fittest man I'd ever met.
With the dirtiest laugh.
Do you know her?
Yeah, yeah. She's an old friend. She doesn't seem very friendly.
Are you going back to school?
Sorry, I have to get to this PTA meeting.
This is just terrible, isn't it?
So, Jenny's just turned up. What, for a heart attack?
Yeah, I know. It's a bit weird, isn't it?
Try not to get involved.
Yeah, I know, but if Jenny arrives...
Jenny's not retired, remember?
OK. See you later, girls.
Bye. See you, Alice.
"Hi. How are you?" "I'm fine." "Oh, that's nice." "Can I come in?"
"Yeah. Of course, Jen. In you go." "Thanks so much."
Yeah.... I thought you might help me
with a thing I just can't get my head round.
What, about Frank? What did you find?
No, no, no. Not him.
No....I've got a problem with a load of data
that was downloaded onto a flash drive at the station.
Someone copied all the files on the Ripton Stalker case.
You know anything about that?
Well, I'm retired, Jenny. Yeah, I'm glad you worked that out.
Because someone that stole confidential information
from the police could get themselves into a lot of trouble
if they didn't delete it all immediately.
So, what do they think, the paramedics?
What?
Oh, it's nothing. It's an OD.
An overdose?
What, Frank?! He'd never take drugs.
Yeah, well, maybe you didn't know him so well.
No, I knew him. Yeah, I thought I knew you.
But here you are, lying to my face.
Right, let's get out of here. Yes, Ma'am.
Hi there, love. All right?
'Hiya.
'Yeah. What are you up to?'
Oh... Yeah. Nothing much. Fine.
'Oh, good. Oh, good.
'I was worried for a minute that you were doing something silly,
'like snooping around Frank's house.'
Are you...?
Don't say a word. All right?
I know, I know, just don't...
Yeah, right.
'The Ripton Stalker watched his victims
for weeks before he acted.
'There's a theory he got inside their houses
'and watched them while they slept.
'He'd mess with their minds, move things around their homes,
'drive them crazy.
'And it was only then,
'when they were really falling apart, that he'd kill them.
'So, give Detective Inspector Huw Miller a little credit.
'The things he's seen would give us all nightmares.
'By all accounts, Huw became totally obsessed with catching him.
'Every day for months, he would appear at press conferences
'saying how close he was.
'But as time went by, the bodies just kept piling up,
'and Miller just looked more and more stressed.
'A year into the case, Huw suddenly announces that he's done it.
'He's caught him...
'only for his prime suspect, Declan Reid, to be totally innocent.
'Meanwhile, each time the killer committed his heinous crimes,
'he would send Huw another letter,
'each one ending with the same sign-off -
' "Catch you later, Detective."
'Miller was demoted from the case,
'and the Ripton Stalker was never found.'
I still can't believe it.
It's just the worst.
It was a lovely funeral, though.
Listen, I ordered you a little something on Prime the other day.
I can't have you moping around the house any more, Huw.
Your backside's wearing out the sofa.
I do please beg your pardon.
Thank you. Go and enjoy a round.
You deserve it. That's an order, captain.
Mwah. Bye. Thanks, prof.
_
Oh!
Hey! New neighbour.
That's me. Patrick.
Liz.
You're not moving this all on your own, are you?
Oh... Take no time.
No Mrs Patrick to help?
Just me. I'm enough.
I could give you a hand.
No.
I don't want you getting all dirty, and...
Oh, I don't mind.
I like getting hot and sweaty. Me too.
Just not over some boxes.
I'm gonna enjoy having you around.
'My God, he's so fit!'
Runs a repair shop, so knows what to do with his hands.
Hey, you. Hi!
And he is 100% single. So...
Hi. Hi. Sorry. Hi, Liz.
Yeah, yeah.
Just lusting after the new neighbour already, are you?
Yeah. We'll be lovers by the end of the week.
No, I'm serious.
Come on. I need an affair to save my marriage.
Explain that to me.
Steve's lost all interest. Like, seriously, last week, I...
I came down completely naked...
..sat next to him, didn't look up once.
Oh, dear! How long were you sitting naked?
Half an hour.
I was frozen!
Oh! Went upstairs, got in the bath and...
..washed my hair.
I'll pop out.
All right, love.
Bye, Huw!
There you are!
It's Patrick. I've just moved in opposite.
Oh.
Huw. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Steve and Paul sent me, said it was book club at yours,
you'd need rescuing.
Oh, right, yeah. God bless you! We're all off to the pub.
Yeah. It's really good to meet you.
And you. How are you settling in?
Well, I can't find the kettle
and all my trousers have disappeared.
So there's real money in fixing junk, old clocks and stuff?
More than you'd imagine. And I get to pick my own hours.
Shit, I should do that!
I can't keep chasing the next deal, always hustling for work.
This guy's got it sorted.
Especially compared to you, Paolo. You hate your job.
I don't hate it. I just don't know what I'm doing.
I spend the whole day moving files around, waiting to get sacked.
Actually, actually, the only guy who's got it sorted is Huw.
No. Retired at 55.
Fifty sodding five.
I don't think retirement is anything to brag about, really.
Are you joking? You literally get to play golf all day.
Yeah, it's weird, though. I don't think I'm really ready.
Yeah, I get that. But you're still smarter than all of us.
That's not difficult, is it?
Hey, why don't you do that thing for Patrick?
Oh, yeah. You'll love this. Go on.
Oh, I don't think Patrick wants to listen.
Come on! Come on, do it. It's brilliant!
OK, OK.
Right, from the doorway going left,
there is a 20-something guy in a grey jumper
with his red-headed girlfriend.
He's drinking a pint of bitter. She's drinking gin and tonic.
On the next table,
there's three lads all wearing jeans and white trainers.
They're drinking pints of stout.
And halfway up the bar, you've got two young women,
one brunette and one's a blonde, and they're drinking diet Cokes,
but they're topping them up with rum from a hip flask.
On the table next to the bar,
you've got a really bored 30-something married couple,
and they're on their phones, of course,
and he's drinking bitter and she's on her fourth vodka,
which in itself tells its own story.
He could do the whole room.
You're right, Huw - you're wasted in retirement.
Oh, I think anyone can do it with a bit of practise.
No! You're unique.
I think you should be burnt at the stake for witchcraft.
Are you worried he'll discover your secrets?
I haven't got any. We've all got them.
No. Saint Stephen of Ripton, that's me.
Holy martyr. Tortured for his good deeds
by an insanely demanding and attention-seeking wife.
Well, she's a bit forward. Mate, it's never-ending.
Last week, she came downstairs butt naked just to get a reaction.
I had to pretend I didn't notice.
Come on, drink up.
My round.
See you, guys. Night, Paolo.
Night. Night.
This is me. Evening, gents.
Night-night. Yeah, night, Stevie.
Yeah.
I like them.
Yeah. Yeah. We're lucky to have such good neighbours.
And I meant it when I said you are wasted in retirement.
You need a new challenge.
No, I think...
I'm OK for a bit.
You know, I suppose I probably should slow down, shouldn't I?
Yeah? Really?
OK. Well...
..this was fun. Yeah. Yeah, it was, wasn't it?
Yeah. I mean, we should... we should do it again.
All right.
Catch you later.
'Catch you later.'
'Catch you later, Detective.'
'Each one ending with the same sign-off -
' "Catch you later, Detective." '
Catch you later.
'Catch you later.'
'You were so close.
'Catch you later, Detective.'
Morning.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hi. Morning. Yeah.
You were very quiet when you got in last night.
I'm gonna go out for a ride.
Hi. Oh. Hi.
What can I help you with?
Well, are we just gonna talk out here?
Yeah. OK.
Well, the first thing is, I just want to say sorry about last time.
I just don't want you to have to worry about all that kind of stuff.
Good. Thank you. I appreciate you popping by.
Just another thing.
..you know my neighbour Frank?
You know, you told me that it was suspected OD?
Yeah, that's what it looked like, I heard.
So with the postmortem report, what did that find?
You're not a relative.
Yeah, but my friend would never have killed himself like that.
There's just no way.
Look, we both know plenty of people
who seemed perfectly happy and then went and topped themselves.
But there's something wrong with that report.
Unless I see it, I won't know what that is.
Could you sort of find it for me?
No, because the death's not being treated as suspicious.
But it is suspicious! Fuck's sake!
Sorry, sorry. It is suspicious.
Jen, a perfectly healthy guy like that just dying in that way,
and then this Patrick just moving into his house.
Who the hell's Patrick?
Look, just look at that report. It does not add up.
Now, just come on, Jenny!
You can go now. OK.
OK, sorry. I'm just... just a bit wound up.
Look, you can't do this. Coming in here...
It's just me and you, isn't it?
Have you really got rid of that flash drive?
Just look at that report.
That was not a suicide.
You're a bit too quiet.
All right! Are you missing Frank?
Me too.
That Patrick guy seems nice enough, though.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, captain!
You'll be OK. You know that. You've got me.
What more do you need?
Nothing, professor. Nothing. Exactly.
Listen, listen.
Oh!
I love this song.
Oh!
I know it must feel odd.
Like you've just been cut loose.
But I'm here with you all the way.
Yeah?
Wherever we drift.
Wherever the tide takes us.
Well, let's just go away. Vietnam, Thailand...
Just miles away from here.
Just disappear.
I'd like that.
I mean, there's nothing stopping us now.
Morning. Hi. This is a crazy idea,
and I don't even know if you play, but do you fancy a round of golf?
I'm really shit at golf.
Why do I not believe you?
Where were you living before?
It's on the outskirts of town.
You've just moved in so quickly.
I mean, the house was barely on the market, was it?
You love your questions, don't you?
Well, once a copper...
When did you move to Ripton?
Right. If we are playing 20 questions, then I should get a turn.
All right.
Why did you move into our street?
I like the neighbourhood.
And how... No, it's my turn.
What's the most important thing in the world to you?
Alice. My wife.
Have you ever been married? No.
Why did you ask me to play golf with you today?
I wanted to get to know you.
It seems to me you know a lot about me already.
Why would you think that? I dunno, it's just a hunch.
Am I wrong?
No.
No, you're not.
I've not been honest with you. I...
..I googled you.
I read all about that terrible case. I am so sorry, Huw.
Must be awful living with that.
Not knowing where he is, who he is, what he's doing.
I mean, that would drive me crazy.
What's your question?
Are you over it yet?
I... got over it years ago.
Really? My turn.
Why do you care?
I guess we're the same, you and me.
Just wanting to get to know each other.
Actually, now a milk woman.
Well, it's finally happened.
First time this guy hasn't been up at six in, what, 30 years?
Yeah, well, I didn't sleep very well, did I?
What are you doing here? You... Shouldn't you be at work?
It's Saturday. Silly!
Man, you are so retired.
Do you want a coffee?
No. I think I'll go and get changed.
I'm in the way. No, no, of course you're not.
Of course you're not. Look at this, Huw.
Yes...
Next weekend.
Hopefully, we'll get the whole street together.
Yeah. I've talked to Liz. She's very keen.
Oh, I bet she is.
Yeah. All the decorating should be done by then.
I can't wait to see what you've done with the place.
Yeah. Me too. Great.
It's a date.
Hey, my favourite couple. Hi! Hey!
Wow! Oh!
There you go. So glad you're here.
Yes.
This is amazing!
Alice! Over here!
Yeah.
You all right? You look gorgeous.
Here.
Cheers. Cheers.
So, you've got most of the street here, haven't you?
Even Susan Barnes. Look, there she is.
She doesn't normally go anywhere.
How did you do that? I have to play host.
I'll see you in a bit. Yeah. Cheers.
Patrick! Patrick.
Do me a favour?
Get another bottle of fizz out of the fridge
and just keep Lizzie's glass full.
If I go over there,
I don't think I'd make it back with my trousers on.
Ha!
I was just...
I don't believe you!
Alice, I just happened to be... No! No, we're not doing this here!
Well, I swear, I'm just... We will go home right this minute,
and you can explain it to me there.
I was... Not here!
What is the matter with you?
I was just being a bit nosy.
There's no need to get out of shape about it.
No. What is it?
I mean, it's all right for you, isn't it? I mean, you go to work.
Stop lying. What is going on? Alice, nothing is going on!
I think... I know, in fact, I...
..I know for certain...
..and I swear to you, Alice...
..that Patrick is the Ripton Stalker.
Now, he's been waiting for an opportunity all these years,
and now that I'm retired, he's coming to get me.
Oh, my God.
And he called out to me on the first night that we met.
And when I heard it, it was...
it was like I was back there, like I was back in the warehouse!
What did he say?
And it's definitely him. I recognise his voice.
What did he say?
"Catch you later."
But everybody says that. Yeah, not in the way he said it.
He was taunting me.
I thought we were past this.
It's him!
Because he said, "Catch you later"?!
No, see, cos it's not just me, is it?
Liz said when he bought the house, he bought it without a viewing.
I mean, that is not normal, is it?
Is it?
And then there's... there's Frank's death.
Which the police are dealing with. Yeah, but...
they... they're just lazy.
Oh, my God, you're doing it again.
All the same things.
But it's him, Alice! Huw!
You had a nervous breakdown.
Our daughter barely speaks to us.
And you nearly crushed our marriage.
And you want to do that to us again? But, Alice, this is...
I made you promise me that you wouldn't drag me back
into that madness again.
We won't survive if you do.
Do you not remember what you were like?
Obsessing, not sleeping.
Imagining clues that didn't exist.
No, no, you've... This is wrong!
You're just chasing shadows
because your life is suddenly empty...
..and you're looking to fill it.
And you're going back down that road.
You're gonna jump off a cliff.
I know you are.
And I'm not gonna jump with you.
Not this time.
I'm sorry.
Oh, God. Oh, God, Alice, no.
No.
I don't... I don't want to go back there again.
Oh, my God...
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Alice.
Alice, Alice, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll do better. I'll try, I'll try.
I will, I promise.
I'm so sorry.
I love you. I love you.
Harry downstairs said you wanted this.
Postmortem report. Oh, yeah.
Some random. It's just a suicide, I think.
Yeah?
Lives on the same road as Huw Miller.
Miller?
Cor, that speech he gave.
Whole room was just... cringing.
Doesn't make any sense. You just...
You're begging him, like, "Stop talking."
There's gotta be a needle. I just...
I wanted him to disappear.
Stop making a fool of himself, you know?
_
Shit!
Hi, Ruth. Sorry I've not been in...
'I'd be dead if it wasn't for you.'
You stopped him. I let him get away.
Ruth, this is Patrick. Patrick, this is Ruth.
Do you think it's him? Hi, Dad.
Margot!
Is that your...? That is my daughter.
Did you see Ruth today?
I just need to know if it's him or not.
What about me? He's never thought about us!
Not once. Come on, Dad.
Me and you are slowly heading towards the exit.
You love your games. So do you.
I love you, so stop this while you still can.
You live for the hunt.
CREDITS