1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,773 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:03,813 --> 00:00:05,346 When you're cooking for Thanksgiving, 3 00:00:05,448 --> 00:00:07,081 timing is everything. 4 00:00:07,183 --> 00:00:08,749 You want to wait till that perfect moment 5 00:00:08,851 --> 00:00:10,017 when the center is warm 6 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,320 and the edges are crispy and golden-brown. 7 00:00:14,624 --> 00:00:15,990 I might have left it in too long. 8 00:00:16,092 --> 00:00:17,725 So, we're finally eating that? 9 00:00:17,827 --> 00:00:19,894 We're almost that poor, but not yet. 10 00:00:19,996 --> 00:00:21,862 No, this is my Thanksgiving tradition. 11 00:00:21,964 --> 00:00:24,031 I heat the quilt in the oven till it's warm enough 12 00:00:24,133 --> 00:00:26,567 for the sweet potatoes to go in, and then the warm quilt 13 00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:27,868 helps my stiff neck. 14 00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:30,437 When you have a 30-year-old pillow, you need that. 15 00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:31,906 And a 50-year-old neck. 16 00:00:32,008 --> 00:00:34,108 Okay, it's Thanksgiving. Pace yourself. 17 00:00:34,210 --> 00:00:36,243 Once we get to Janet's, we have to look like 18 00:00:36,268 --> 00:00:38,469 the happiest married couple on Earth. 19 00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:40,881 That would be a lot easier to do if we weren't at Janet's. 20 00:00:40,983 --> 00:00:43,450 Hey, it's not my first choice, either, 21 00:00:43,553 --> 00:00:44,718 but it's closest to mom and dad's, 22 00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,654 so that's where we're doing it. 23 00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:48,756 Get these away from me. 24 00:00:48,858 --> 00:00:51,725 Look at this. Did you charge $4.75 25 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:54,251 to some place called RNJ? 26 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:55,529 RNJ? 27 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:57,131 - Yeah. - That doesn't ring a bell. 28 00:00:57,156 --> 00:00:58,622 What day was it? 29 00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,001 November 7th. What were you doing that day? 30 00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,170 I don't know. What do we do every day? 31 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,605 Probably watching TV. 32 00:01:04,707 --> 00:01:05,806 Are you sure it wasn't yours? 33 00:01:05,908 --> 00:01:06,907 Not mine. 34 00:01:07,009 --> 00:01:08,108 This seems like one of those fraud things 35 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,133 where they steal your number and do some little 36 00:01:10,313 --> 00:01:12,513 test charge before they go wild 37 00:01:12,538 --> 00:01:14,258 and buy a bunch of flat screen TVs. 38 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,317 I had better call the credit-card company. 39 00:01:16,419 --> 00:01:18,018 This could take a while, so I don't know 40 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,054 if I'm gonna be able to make it to Janet's for dinner. 41 00:01:20,156 --> 00:01:23,023 Nice try. You're going. 42 00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:29,172 Keyshawn, your potato is ready. Your potato is ready, Keyshawn. 43 00:01:31,467 --> 00:01:32,900 Enjoy your Thanksgiving potato. 44 00:01:33,002 --> 00:01:35,336 And come back tomorrow for our leftover turkey sandwich potato. 45 00:01:35,438 --> 00:01:37,504 It's bread, turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes 46 00:01:37,529 --> 00:01:39,917 inside a day-old potato. 47 00:01:40,676 --> 00:01:43,143 Uh, Sue, someone needs to clean the bathroom. 48 00:01:43,246 --> 00:01:44,211 The plug-in air freshener's 49 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,380 fighting a losing battle in there. 50 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:49,049 You know, this sounds like a job for the new guy. 51 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,752 Why, yes! I believe you're right! 52 00:01:51,854 --> 00:01:54,021 Oh, new guy! 53 00:01:55,712 --> 00:01:59,180 Um, Axl, the bathroom has to be cleaned once an hour. 54 00:01:59,205 --> 00:02:00,638 Didn't you read the manual? 55 00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:02,630 And you didn't de-crust the cheese nozzle. 56 00:02:02,732 --> 00:02:04,231 Now we have to use the real cheese. 57 00:02:04,333 --> 00:02:05,532 Yeah, I'm not doing that. 58 00:02:05,712 --> 00:02:07,278 When I was asked to work here, it was put 59 00:02:07,303 --> 00:02:09,703 into my contract that I do not have to do gross stuff. 60 00:02:09,805 --> 00:02:10,704 Ow! 61 00:02:10,806 --> 00:02:12,506 No, you were not asked to work here. 62 00:02:12,608 --> 00:02:13,907 You begged to work here 63 00:02:13,932 --> 00:02:16,599 because you got fired from being a bus driver. 64 00:02:16,624 --> 00:02:18,424 And we all have to do gross stuff, Axl. 65 00:02:18,449 --> 00:02:20,149 Everything here is gross. 66 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:24,852 Well, looks like Axl's gonna luck out 67 00:02:24,954 --> 00:02:26,020 'cause our shift's over. 68 00:02:26,122 --> 00:02:28,222 Great. Let's hit that tip jar and get out of here. 69 00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:30,768 Okay, Axl, before you get your paws on it, 70 00:02:30,793 --> 00:02:33,427 the way it works is we split the tips evenly, 71 00:02:33,452 --> 00:02:34,839 and if it doesn't come out even, 72 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:37,431 we rotate who gets the extra penny. 73 00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:42,621 Oh, if that's a prayer, I'm gonna be so pissed. 74 00:02:43,539 --> 00:02:45,005 "Happy Thanks-taking. 75 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,674 We took your tips." 76 00:02:46,776 --> 00:02:50,244 I'm filled with ire, but I love this guy's handwriting. 77 00:02:51,747 --> 00:02:53,013 You sure we're in the right parking lot? 78 00:02:53,115 --> 00:02:54,682 Yeah, yeah, I told the kids to meet us outside 79 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:56,340 the abandoned Penney's. 80 00:02:56,519 --> 00:02:59,420 Or did I say the abandoned Sears? 81 00:02:59,522 --> 00:03:01,255 What about the abandoned Wet Seal? 82 00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:02,633 No, that's been gone a while. 83 00:03:02,658 --> 00:03:04,124 They turned it into a Claire's Boutique, 84 00:03:04,149 --> 00:03:05,582 and now it's a Marine recruiting center. 85 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:07,461 Well, they'll find us. 86 00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:09,596 Oh, by the way, I called the credit-card company 87 00:03:09,665 --> 00:03:11,432 and had them take that $5 charge off. 88 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:14,201 It turns out that RNJ is just the parent company 89 00:03:14,226 --> 00:03:16,860 of some coffee place called the Golden Bean. 90 00:03:16,972 --> 00:03:18,605 And I told them, "We don't drink fancy coffee, 91 00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:19,840 so that couldn't be us." 92 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:21,975 Oh, yeah. That was me. 93 00:03:22,044 --> 00:03:23,410 What? I thought we agreed 94 00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,312 we'd only have coffee at home, at school events, 95 00:03:25,381 --> 00:03:26,380 and at Jiffy Lube. 96 00:03:26,449 --> 00:03:28,449 Look, I was stressed from taking care of my mom 97 00:03:28,517 --> 00:03:29,983 and I passed a coffee place and I said, 98 00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:31,552 "I want a damn coffee." 99 00:03:31,654 --> 00:03:32,953 Yeah, that's how I said it in my head. 100 00:03:33,022 --> 00:03:34,955 I said "damn." That's how much I wanted it. 101 00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:37,458 It was a one-time thing, okay? 102 00:03:37,483 --> 00:03:39,082 Don't you ever want to treat yourself? 103 00:03:39,228 --> 00:03:40,427 I don't see the point. 104 00:03:40,529 --> 00:03:41,595 You get used to nice things, 105 00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:43,390 and then you got to come back to this. 106 00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:46,900 All right, listen up. 107 00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:49,036 First of all, Happy Thanksgiving. 108 00:03:49,138 --> 00:03:50,537 Secondly, great work today. 109 00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:52,272 Thirdly, somebody's fired. 110 00:03:52,297 --> 00:03:53,275 - Yeah. What?! - What?! 111 00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:54,641 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 112 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:55,809 So, uh, you may have noticed 113 00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,301 I haven't been around much lately. 114 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,346 Turns out my trip to New York to audition for "SNL" 115 00:03:59,415 --> 00:04:00,748 did not go as planned. 116 00:04:00,816 --> 00:04:02,182 I guess my aunt riding up the elevator 117 00:04:02,207 --> 00:04:04,040 with Bobby Moynihan isn't exactly the "in" 118 00:04:04,065 --> 00:04:05,164 I thought it was. 119 00:04:05,321 --> 00:04:06,987 Anywhoo, I'm gonna be around more, 120 00:04:07,056 --> 00:04:09,223 so we don't need as many minimum-wage employees. 121 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:12,993 Now, I've been agonizing over who to fire, 122 00:04:13,062 --> 00:04:15,863 when I thought, "Wait, I can't do this. 123 00:04:15,931 --> 00:04:17,831 You guys are family." 124 00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:20,634 So figure it out amongst yourselves. 125 00:04:23,572 --> 00:04:25,773 - How was work? - Oh, my gosh, Mom, 126 00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:27,040 you are not gonna believe this. 127 00:04:27,109 --> 00:04:29,610 Edwin said we have to decide amongst ourselves 128 00:04:29,678 --> 00:04:31,245 which one of us is gonna be fired. 129 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,780 How are we supposed to do that? Who's it gonna be? 130 00:04:32,882 --> 00:04:33,947 - Sue. - Sue. 131 00:04:34,049 --> 00:04:36,183 What?! No! I'm the one who found Spudsy's. 132 00:04:36,252 --> 00:04:38,252 I've been there for years. It's like family. 133 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,520 Okay, then Brick's got to go. 134 00:04:39,622 --> 00:04:41,221 - Why me? - Uh, for starters, 135 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,423 I can see over the counter. 136 00:04:42,525 --> 00:04:43,557 Stop moving the step stool. 137 00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:44,958 Look, I'm a college graduate. 138 00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:47,294 I need a paying job in order to contribute around the house. 139 00:04:47,363 --> 00:04:49,763 Sue just needs to go shopping at Forever Dork, and Brick, 140 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,432 instead of using his money to buy friends, 141 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,966 blows it all on "Planet Nowhere" figurines, 142 00:04:53,035 --> 00:04:55,436 thus continuing his cycle of friendlessness. 143 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,871 Look, as soon as you get another job, you're gonna quit anyway. 144 00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:59,106 Why not just quit now? 145 00:04:59,175 --> 00:05:01,241 I can't get a job unless I have a job. 146 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,143 Nobody wants to hire someone who's not working. 147 00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,845 But you don't know anything. 148 00:05:04,914 --> 00:05:06,713 You keep over-storing the sour cream, 149 00:05:06,782 --> 00:05:09,116 which makes it separate back into liquid and powder. 150 00:05:09,185 --> 00:05:10,684 Brick's always stealing the plastic forks! 151 00:05:10,786 --> 00:05:11,919 Mom tells me to do that! 152 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,220 Mom, you get it, right? 153 00:05:13,322 --> 00:05:14,421 Axl should resign. 154 00:05:14,490 --> 00:05:16,089 No, no, no, no. Don't drag me into this. 155 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,058 It's never a good idea for a parent to take sides. 156 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,527 I love all of my children equally. 157 00:05:20,629 --> 00:05:21,695 I'd fire Brick. 158 00:05:21,797 --> 00:05:22,996 - Mike! - What? 159 00:05:23,065 --> 00:05:25,199 Sue was there first, and Axl has a point. 160 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:26,567 He's an adult, and he needs a job. 161 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:28,469 Ha! In your face! 162 00:05:28,571 --> 00:05:30,471 Well, I guess it's over. Dad decided. 163 00:05:30,573 --> 00:05:32,406 No, no, not, "Dad decided." 164 00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:34,675 I distinctly remember Edwin saying we have to decide 165 00:05:34,743 --> 00:05:36,710 amongst ourselves, and Edwin's our boss. 166 00:05:36,812 --> 00:05:39,413 At least until he's the new cast member on "SNL." 167 00:05:39,515 --> 00:05:41,281 Ohh, he really is good. 168 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,550 He does a spot-on George the security guard. 169 00:05:43,619 --> 00:05:45,953 "Mall's closing in 10 minutes!" 170 00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:48,655 Well, you have to be there. 171 00:05:48,724 --> 00:05:50,624 - Do I have to be here? - No, Brick's right. 172 00:05:50,726 --> 00:05:52,159 Edwin left it up to us. 173 00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:54,228 All in favor of Sue quitting, raise your hand. 174 00:05:54,296 --> 00:05:55,295 - Mm. - The people have spoken. 175 00:05:55,364 --> 00:05:57,264 - Sue is out. - Uh, you can't do that. 176 00:05:57,366 --> 00:05:58,799 I can't, and I did. 177 00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:00,033 That doesn't make any sense! 178 00:06:00,135 --> 00:06:01,201 Your face doesn't make any sense. 179 00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:02,769 Oh, shut up, shut up your stupid mouth! 180 00:06:02,872 --> 00:06:04,171 All right, that's enough! 181 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,039 Why is it every time you people get in the car, 182 00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:07,274 you have to start fighting? 183 00:06:07,376 --> 00:06:08,809 - We don't always fight. - Yes, we do. 184 00:06:08,878 --> 00:06:10,911 - No, we don't! - I'm pretty sure we do. 185 00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:13,380 Remember last time when I put my foot in your face? 186 00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,615 - Ugh! - Or was it the other foot? 187 00:06:14,717 --> 00:06:15,749 Ugh! Or maybe it wasn't feet. 188 00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:17,050 Maybe it was my butt! 189 00:06:17,119 --> 00:06:17,951 - Don't! - Ohh! 190 00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,820 Don't! Oh, you like that? 191 00:06:19,889 --> 00:06:22,389 Oh, my God! Fine! You want a butt in the face? 192 00:06:22,458 --> 00:06:24,224 How about I put my butt in your face, huh?! 193 00:06:24,293 --> 00:06:26,793 Hello? Feel free to jump in with some parenting. 194 00:06:26,862 --> 00:06:30,130 All right, stop it! Stop it! Put your butts in your seats! 195 00:06:30,232 --> 00:06:33,066 Your dad can't drive with all this racket! 196 00:06:33,135 --> 00:06:34,701 If Dad doesn't want to drive, I'll drive. 197 00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:37,037 No, Brick, you're not allowed. Remember the cow incident? 198 00:06:37,106 --> 00:06:38,138 Yeah, but that was a year ago. 199 00:06:38,207 --> 00:06:40,823 Honey, we would let you, but you have to be 16. 200 00:06:40,892 --> 00:06:42,609 I turned 16 three weeks ago. 201 00:06:42,711 --> 00:06:43,977 - Oh. - ? Happy birthday to... ? 202 00:06:44,079 --> 00:06:45,846 Save it. 203 00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,080 Come on. Let me drive. 204 00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:49,149 Sorry, buddy. We don't do that on trips. 205 00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:51,051 Yes, we do. Sue got to drive. 206 00:06:51,153 --> 00:06:52,252 I don't remember what trip we were on, 207 00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:53,520 but I know she got to drive. 208 00:06:53,589 --> 00:06:54,955 I believe that was the one where you made us take 209 00:06:55,024 --> 00:06:57,624 a side trip to see your Internet hillbilly girlfriend. 210 00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:58,992 Oh, right! 211 00:06:59,061 --> 00:07:00,527 I wonder if she's still single. 212 00:07:00,596 --> 00:07:02,996 Anyway, I guess you're right. I don't have to drive. 213 00:07:03,065 --> 00:07:04,932 Mom and Dad can just take me everywhere I need to go 214 00:07:05,034 --> 00:07:06,466 for the rest of my life. 215 00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:08,335 Hey, this isn't fair. 216 00:07:08,404 --> 00:07:10,437 Why am I the one that's stuck in the mid... 217 00:07:14,343 --> 00:07:17,811 Should I put down seven or eight seconds for my driving log? 218 00:07:17,913 --> 00:07:20,614 I don't know. My heart stopped at four. 219 00:07:20,716 --> 00:07:22,349 Oh, tollbooth. 220 00:07:27,289 --> 00:07:29,423 Okay, let's see. I got $1.20. 221 00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:30,223 How much do you need? 222 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,658 60 cents. All right. 223 00:07:31,727 --> 00:07:33,260 Hey, give me the extra 60 cents, too. 224 00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,095 - Why? - Well, it's Thanksgiving. 225 00:07:35,197 --> 00:07:36,063 I think I'll do something nice 226 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:37,164 and pay for the car behind us. 227 00:07:37,232 --> 00:07:38,999 Aw, that's sweet! 228 00:07:39,101 --> 00:07:41,001 We're gonna pay for the car behind us. 229 00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:42,379 Hey. It was my idea. 230 00:07:42,404 --> 00:07:43,604 I was gonna say that. 231 00:07:43,706 --> 00:07:45,472 Tell them we said, uh, Happy Thanksgiving. 232 00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:47,307 - That was all you, baby. - Yeah. 233 00:07:47,409 --> 00:07:48,408 Isn't your dad sweet? 234 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,444 - That was so nice. - Hi! 235 00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:52,613 - Let's see. - Oh! Oh! 236 00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:54,548 They're coming through. They're coming through! 237 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,984 They're through. They're speeding up. 238 00:07:57,086 --> 00:07:58,619 - Here they come! - They want to say thanks. 239 00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:00,287 Aw! 240 00:08:12,507 --> 00:08:14,440 That was not the reaction I expected. 241 00:08:14,542 --> 00:08:17,176 I know. They were just plain rude. 242 00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:20,346 It makes you not want to do anything nice for people. 243 00:08:20,415 --> 00:08:21,948 I mean, I know it was just 60 cents, 244 00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:23,549 but you could at least give a wave. 245 00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:25,451 I just think it's sad 'cause it's like, 246 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,019 "What are you teaching your kids?" 247 00:08:27,088 --> 00:08:29,889 The message is, "Go do drugs, kids, 'cause it doesn't matter." 248 00:08:29,958 --> 00:08:30,957 Yeah, and Brick could have really used 249 00:08:31,025 --> 00:08:32,625 that 60 cents 'cause he doesn't have a job. 250 00:08:34,696 --> 00:08:36,429 Whoa, I'm below empty. 251 00:08:36,531 --> 00:08:37,763 Better pull in up here. 252 00:08:37,832 --> 00:08:39,832 Wait, is this the car with the broken gas gauge? 253 00:08:39,901 --> 00:08:41,233 No, that's your car. This is the one where 254 00:08:41,302 --> 00:08:42,568 the needle broke off the speedometer 255 00:08:42,637 --> 00:08:44,937 and fell down into the crack where I can't get it out. 256 00:08:54,048 --> 00:08:55,681 Sorry, uh, it's declined. 257 00:08:58,519 --> 00:09:00,853 Okay, well, thanks for the 20 minutes on hold 258 00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:02,121 and being no help. 259 00:09:02,190 --> 00:09:04,223 Turns out 'cause I called in 260 00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:07,093 the fraudulent charge which wasn't fraudulent, 261 00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,095 they canceled the card, and they're sending us a new one. 262 00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:10,296 So, when's it arriving? 263 00:09:10,867 --> 00:09:12,865 A drone's delivering it any minute. 264 00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:14,600 - Hmm. - Oh, for God's sake, 265 00:09:14,702 --> 00:09:15,768 it's coming on Monday. 266 00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:18,037 I'm starving. Where's the blue bag? 267 00:09:18,106 --> 00:09:19,472 Did you bring the blue bag? 268 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:22,208 The new blue bag is yellow, and I have no idea where it is. 269 00:09:22,276 --> 00:09:25,277 I don't get it. I had 30 bucks in here, and now it's gone. 270 00:09:25,346 --> 00:09:26,579 Oh, I took it. 271 00:09:26,681 --> 00:09:27,847 What? Why? 272 00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:29,749 I mailed Cindy $30 to get back with me. 273 00:09:29,817 --> 00:09:31,951 Brick, if Cindy comes back to you because you paid her, 274 00:09:32,053 --> 00:09:33,486 she's basically a prostitute. 275 00:09:33,588 --> 00:09:35,554 Well, yes, but she's my prostitute. 276 00:09:35,623 --> 00:09:37,189 Frankie, how much cash you got? 277 00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,959 Where's my wallet? Oh, shoot. 278 00:09:40,061 --> 00:09:41,894 At the last minute, I switched to a cross-body purse. 279 00:09:41,963 --> 00:09:43,529 See? This is a cross-body. 280 00:09:43,631 --> 00:09:45,564 I wanted it to look nice to impress Janet. 281 00:09:45,633 --> 00:09:47,333 Cross-bodies are cuter and younger-looking 282 00:09:47,402 --> 00:09:49,235 - because cross-bodies... - Stop saying "cross-bodies"! 283 00:09:49,337 --> 00:09:51,070 Axl, Sue, Brick, what do you got? 284 00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:52,671 I spent all I had on Cindy. 285 00:09:52,774 --> 00:09:54,807 I was really counting on that tip money that got stolen. 286 00:09:54,876 --> 00:09:57,243 Yeah, I don't carry a wallet when I'm around you guys. 287 00:09:57,311 --> 00:09:59,078 You made me go on this trip, which technically means 288 00:09:59,147 --> 00:10:01,247 I'm a child, and right now this child could seriously 289 00:10:01,315 --> 00:10:03,753 use some chips and a cold beer. 290 00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:07,620 Look, is there any way you could kind of just spot us 291 00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:08,877 5 bucks for gas. 292 00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:10,356 We're only going another 40 miles, 293 00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:12,224 and we're coming back on the same route on Sunday, 294 00:10:12,249 --> 00:10:13,782 so we can pay you back then. 295 00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:15,961 We're going to her sister's house, and we all hate going. 296 00:10:16,030 --> 00:10:17,696 We don't hate going. It's just... 297 00:10:17,765 --> 00:10:19,398 She's just challenging. 298 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:22,168 I would like to help you out, but I can't. 299 00:10:22,523 --> 00:10:24,503 Okay, well, um, what about this? 300 00:10:24,528 --> 00:10:26,628 What if we leave something of value 301 00:10:26,774 --> 00:10:28,507 and... and swap it out for cash on the way back? 302 00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:30,276 Good idea. What do we have? 303 00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:32,078 - Uh, half an ice scraper. - Half a shovel in the trunk. 304 00:10:32,146 --> 00:10:33,979 Hey, hey, hey, look, I don't own the place. 305 00:10:34,082 --> 00:10:35,047 I just work here. 306 00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:37,349 They have rules and cameras. 307 00:10:37,452 --> 00:10:39,251 That fish is one. 308 00:10:39,353 --> 00:10:41,687 If I don't do everything by the book, I could lose my job. 309 00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:43,122 I'm sorry. 310 00:10:43,191 --> 00:10:45,658 Excuse me. I couldn't help overhearing your conversation, 311 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,661 and it being Thanksgiving and all, 312 00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:50,529 do you mind if I just cut in front of you 313 00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,388 and pay for these? 314 00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:54,233 Excuse me. 315 00:10:54,335 --> 00:10:55,401 So, what do we do now? 316 00:10:55,470 --> 00:10:57,036 Well, Janet can't come and rescue us 317 00:10:57,138 --> 00:10:58,504 'cause she's got to help with Mom. 318 00:10:58,573 --> 00:11:00,339 What about the Donahues? 319 00:11:00,408 --> 00:11:02,208 We're not gonna ask the neighbors to drive two hours 320 00:11:02,276 --> 00:11:04,043 on Thanksgiving to give us gas money. 321 00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:06,579 I'd like to keep the sliver of dignity I have left. 322 00:11:06,647 --> 00:11:08,614 Oh, my God, you guys, do you see that sign over there? 323 00:11:08,716 --> 00:11:10,683 "Road maintained by Dan Quayle"? 324 00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:12,818 What? No, no, no, no, no. Farther down. 325 00:11:12,887 --> 00:11:15,621 The mall sign. There's a Spudsy's-on-the-Go! 326 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,423 I bet they'll help us out. 327 00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,492 It says in the manual we're all a big family. 328 00:11:19,594 --> 00:11:20,493 Yeah. 329 00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:21,861 Okay, go. See what you can do. 330 00:11:21,963 --> 00:11:24,163 I'm gonna call the credit-card people again. 331 00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:26,432 And, Frankie, if you see a nice trucker, 332 00:11:26,501 --> 00:11:30,002 hike up your pants and show them your non-bruised leg. 333 00:11:30,104 --> 00:11:32,838 Non-bruised. 334 00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:35,674 Hi! Okay, I know this sounds crazy, 335 00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:38,300 but we are Spudsy's employees, and we're really in a jam. 336 00:11:38,479 --> 00:11:39,912 And we're getting paid on Wednesday. 337 00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:42,114 So, is there any way you could call corporate 338 00:11:42,183 --> 00:11:43,749 and see if we could get an advance on our checks? 339 00:11:43,851 --> 00:11:44,750 Yeah, I'm not doing that. 340 00:11:44,852 --> 00:11:46,285 - Ohh. - What? 341 00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:47,253 Why not? 342 00:11:47,321 --> 00:11:48,654 We're from the Orson branch. 343 00:11:48,756 --> 00:11:50,890 Our manager is Edwin. 344 00:11:50,992 --> 00:11:53,192 Yeah? What's his last name? 345 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,395 He's very funny. 346 00:11:56,464 --> 00:11:58,797 He does a great impression of George the security guard. 347 00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,766 "Mall closin' in 10 minutes!" 348 00:12:02,904 --> 00:12:04,236 Look, I promise we work here. 349 00:12:04,338 --> 00:12:05,704 Our uniforms are in the car. 350 00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:10,409 Can we just borrow like $5 from your tip jar? 351 00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:12,878 You really want to prove you work here? 352 00:12:12,947 --> 00:12:15,114 We all signed a pledge never to reveal the ingredients 353 00:12:15,183 --> 00:12:16,682 of Spudsy's secret sauce. 354 00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:18,884 Tell me what they are, and I'll give you what's in the jar. 355 00:12:18,986 --> 00:12:20,653 Okay, um... 356 00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:23,355 Oh, my God. 357 00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,523 Oh, my God, I'm blanking. 358 00:12:24,625 --> 00:12:25,558 Why am I blanking? 359 00:12:25,626 --> 00:12:26,959 Brick! Help! 360 00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:28,060 Uh... 361 00:12:28,162 --> 00:12:29,161 I know it. 362 00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:30,896 And if I get it right, 363 00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:32,531 I get to be the one who keeps the job, 364 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,867 and you two losers get to fight it out amongst yourselves. 365 00:12:34,936 --> 00:12:36,769 - I'll take that bet. - Me too. 366 00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,404 He doesn't even know the state bird. 367 00:12:38,506 --> 00:12:39,972 Oh. 368 00:12:40,074 --> 00:12:43,209 Basil, oil, onions, garlic, emulsifier, 369 00:12:43,311 --> 00:12:44,643 ranch dressing. 370 00:12:44,712 --> 00:12:46,445 The cardinal. 371 00:12:46,547 --> 00:12:47,446 That's correct. 372 00:12:47,548 --> 00:12:48,714 Oh, yeah! 373 00:12:48,783 --> 00:12:50,416 I gets to keep a minimum-wage job. 374 00:12:50,518 --> 00:12:52,051 Ooh! 375 00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,919 Ooh! 376 00:12:55,756 --> 00:12:57,923 Now this guy's saying that to get access 377 00:12:57,992 --> 00:13:00,192 to your account, he has to know your favorite movie. 378 00:13:00,294 --> 00:13:02,528 Oh, gosh, it's either "Wizard of Oz" 379 00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:03,896 or "Overboard." 380 00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:06,332 It's funny... If you would just sit down and watch it. 381 00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:09,235 Mom! Dad! We got money! 382 00:13:09,337 --> 00:13:10,302 I just hope it's enough. 383 00:13:10,404 --> 00:13:12,137 Wow, where'd you get all that? 384 00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:14,406 Well, I was able to procure 35 cents 385 00:13:14,475 --> 00:13:16,609 from a fellow potato engineer's tip jar. 386 00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:18,544 And the rest we got from the mall fountain, 387 00:13:18,613 --> 00:13:20,412 at least until the security guard kicked us out. 388 00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:21,747 He wasn't as funny as George, 389 00:13:21,816 --> 00:13:23,449 not the way Edwin does him, anyway. 390 00:13:23,517 --> 00:13:25,451 And I know it's bad to steal from a fountain, 391 00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:27,786 so I threw a penny back in and wished for God 392 00:13:27,888 --> 00:13:30,001 to forgive us for taking the money. 393 00:13:37,365 --> 00:13:41,267 One, two, three... 394 00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:44,637 Oh, hey, guys, when we're sitting around 395 00:13:44,705 --> 00:13:46,438 the table saying what we're thankful for, 396 00:13:46,507 --> 00:13:48,173 nobody say stealing from mall fountains. 397 00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:49,942 Aunt Janet doesn't need to know that. 398 00:13:50,011 --> 00:13:51,143 That's okay. 399 00:13:51,245 --> 00:13:53,045 I already got something else to be thankful for. 400 00:13:53,114 --> 00:13:55,814 I have secured my position as a Spudsy's employee. 401 00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:57,950 I was able to recite all the ingredients 402 00:13:58,019 --> 00:13:59,985 of the secret sauce... something that two giant 403 00:14:00,054 --> 00:14:01,887 Spudsy nerds could not do. 404 00:14:01,956 --> 00:14:03,188 I still don't know how you did it. 405 00:14:03,257 --> 00:14:05,291 Um, 'cause I'm smart. The first letter 406 00:14:05,359 --> 00:14:08,294 of all the ingredients... basil, onions, oil, garlic, 407 00:14:08,362 --> 00:14:11,430 emulsifier, ranch dressing... spell "booger." 408 00:14:11,532 --> 00:14:12,398 Ohh! 409 00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:13,565 And then there were two. 410 00:14:13,668 --> 00:14:15,034 Of course that's how you did it. 411 00:14:15,102 --> 00:14:17,303 You are such a child, Axl. 412 00:14:17,371 --> 00:14:20,172 Unlike you, I am an adult, and I will defend my job 413 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:22,207 in an adult manner... you butt! 414 00:14:22,276 --> 00:14:24,543 Not me. You choked 'cause you're a choker. 415 00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:25,978 Choker! 416 00:14:26,047 --> 00:14:28,380 Am I getting in your head? Huh? Am I getting in your head? 417 00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:30,416 Can you guys stop fighting for two seconds? 418 00:14:30,484 --> 00:14:32,818 Mike, the car from the tollbooth's ahead. 419 00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,320 Catch up to them. 420 00:14:34,388 --> 00:14:35,854 Catch up to them? Why? 421 00:14:35,956 --> 00:14:38,190 I don't know. Maybe they didn't see us before. 422 00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:39,858 I mean, somebody paid their toll. 423 00:14:39,927 --> 00:14:41,226 That doesn't happen every day. 424 00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:42,171 - Eh. - Yeah, no, no, no. 425 00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,128 Go give them a little honk. 426 00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:44,463 - No. - Yeah, go do it. 427 00:14:44,565 --> 00:14:45,297 No! Get... get... 428 00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,366 - What are you doing? - No, listen, 429 00:14:47,435 --> 00:14:48,434 this is gonna be great. 430 00:14:55,376 --> 00:14:57,176 Oh, my God. Did you see that? 431 00:14:57,278 --> 00:14:58,544 That was so mean. 432 00:14:58,612 --> 00:15:00,179 What is wrong with the world? 433 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:02,481 You pay somebody's toll, and that's how they repay you? 434 00:15:02,583 --> 00:15:05,250 Yeah, the world's a rough place now. 435 00:15:05,319 --> 00:15:08,387 In my day, people would go out of their way to help you. 436 00:15:08,456 --> 00:15:10,255 They'd stop what they were doing and... and... 437 00:15:10,324 --> 00:15:12,124 and give you a push to the service station. 438 00:15:12,193 --> 00:15:13,926 If you needed gas, they'd give you some gas, 439 00:15:14,028 --> 00:15:15,027 send you on your way. 440 00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,295 You'd pay them back when you could. 441 00:15:16,364 --> 00:15:18,397 Maybe with a dozen eggs or something. 442 00:15:18,499 --> 00:15:20,532 I know! What is going on? 443 00:15:20,634 --> 00:15:23,535 Like that stinky mall person stealing our tip-jar money. 444 00:15:23,637 --> 00:15:24,937 I'm not surprised. 445 00:15:25,005 --> 00:15:27,973 Everybody is stealing now... tip-jar money, identities. 446 00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:30,776 That's why credit-card companies assume fraud, 447 00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:32,411 and in order to get into your account, 448 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,712 you have to remember that "Overboard" 449 00:15:33,814 --> 00:15:34,813 is your favorite movie. 450 00:15:34,882 --> 00:15:36,615 It's good! 451 00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:39,318 I'll bet Cindy never even got the letter I sent her. 452 00:15:39,387 --> 00:15:41,353 Obviously, the mailman took it and stole the money. 453 00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,755 But as the weird kid, 454 00:15:42,857 --> 00:15:45,290 I don't find human cruelty as surprising as you guys do. 455 00:15:45,393 --> 00:15:48,427 You know, I am almost always on mankind's side, 456 00:15:48,529 --> 00:15:50,462 but right now mankind is making it real hard 457 00:15:50,564 --> 00:15:51,630 to stand up for it. 458 00:15:51,732 --> 00:15:52,965 Well, you better get used to it 459 00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:54,466 'cause that's the world we're living in. 460 00:15:54,568 --> 00:15:55,834 All right, all right, all right, let's... 461 00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:57,136 let's not go down this rabbit hole. 462 00:15:57,238 --> 00:15:59,138 It's Thanksgiving, and we still have a lot 463 00:15:59,163 --> 00:16:01,152 of things to be thankful for. 464 00:16:04,345 --> 00:16:06,412 Name one. 465 00:16:09,941 --> 00:16:11,341 Oh, I'm starving! 466 00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,109 We should have bought chips at that station. 467 00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,746 Oh, that's right. Honk. Why didn't we think of that? 468 00:16:16,815 --> 00:16:18,848 That'll get a jack-knifed semi out of the way. 469 00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:21,284 Seriously, my stomach is eating itself. 470 00:16:21,386 --> 00:16:23,520 Ohh, come on, Brick. 471 00:16:23,588 --> 00:16:25,622 You know I deserve the job more. 472 00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:27,056 Just give up and quit. 473 00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:28,525 No, you quit. 474 00:16:28,550 --> 00:16:29,749 Ugh! 475 00:16:29,928 --> 00:16:31,494 Okay, I'll make you a deal. 476 00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,463 The first one to throw one of these little paper balls 477 00:16:33,532 --> 00:16:35,565 and get it to stick in Dad's hair wins the job. 478 00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:36,833 Deal? 479 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:39,102 I'm in. 480 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:43,373 Knock it off. 481 00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:44,808 Okay. 482 00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,010 Good news is nobody got hurt. 483 00:16:47,112 --> 00:16:50,013 The bad news... We are gonna be stuck in this forever. 484 00:16:50,081 --> 00:16:53,149 But guess who I saw about six cars up. 485 00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:54,684 A chip delivery truck? 486 00:16:54,786 --> 00:16:56,453 The tollbooth jerks. 487 00:16:56,521 --> 00:16:58,121 No! Were they mean? 488 00:16:58,223 --> 00:16:59,255 Did they apologize? 489 00:16:59,357 --> 00:17:00,757 No, they acted like nothing even happened. 490 00:17:00,826 --> 00:17:02,325 - Idiots. - Slime balls. 491 00:17:02,394 --> 00:17:04,027 - Meanies. - Par for the course. 492 00:17:04,095 --> 00:17:06,663 Yep, this turned out to be a great Thanksgiving. 493 00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:09,720 World... one. Hecks... zero. 494 00:17:10,435 --> 00:17:11,764 That's it! 495 00:17:12,938 --> 00:17:13,770 What's she doing? 496 00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,171 What are you...? 497 00:17:19,711 --> 00:17:22,912 There's no way we're making it to Janet's, so I'm eating. 498 00:17:32,691 --> 00:17:34,858 Mmm! Mmm! 499 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,793 - Mine! - Oh, hi. 500 00:17:36,895 --> 00:17:38,261 No, I just saw that you were eating, 501 00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,296 and, you know, I've got some stuffing. 502 00:17:40,365 --> 00:17:43,266 Clearly, I'm not making it to my cousin's for Thanksgiving, 503 00:17:43,335 --> 00:17:44,767 so I thought you might want some. 504 00:17:44,836 --> 00:17:46,769 Oh! Wow! Thank you! 505 00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:48,972 And by "mine," I meant mine to share. 506 00:17:49,074 --> 00:17:51,407 These are my famous twice marshmallowed sweet potatoes. 507 00:17:51,476 --> 00:17:52,442 Here. Help yourself. 508 00:17:52,511 --> 00:17:54,244 Thank you. Don't mind if I do. 509 00:17:54,346 --> 00:17:56,212 Hey. Are we sharing food? 510 00:17:56,314 --> 00:17:57,313 I've got rolls. 511 00:17:57,382 --> 00:17:58,548 Oh, thanks! 512 00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:00,550 Ooh, stuffing! 513 00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:04,220 I've got cranberry sauce. Would anybody like some? 514 00:18:04,322 --> 00:18:05,651 Yeah! 515 00:18:06,691 --> 00:18:10,426 Thanks. Um, okay, I'm sorry. 516 00:18:10,529 --> 00:18:12,095 I just have to say something. 517 00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:15,119 You're bringing over cranberries after you flipped us off? 518 00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:18,268 Wait, that was you? 519 00:18:18,336 --> 00:18:21,271 Oh, we were scared because you were chasing us 520 00:18:21,373 --> 00:18:22,972 and honking and driving erratically. 521 00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,008 We were afraid it was a road-rage thing, 522 00:18:25,110 --> 00:18:27,076 what with the way the world is these days. 523 00:18:27,145 --> 00:18:29,245 No, we're not road ragers. 524 00:18:29,347 --> 00:18:30,413 We're Good Samaritans. 525 00:18:30,515 --> 00:18:31,814 We just wanted to see your reaction 526 00:18:31,883 --> 00:18:33,683 after we paid your toll. 527 00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:34,684 What? 528 00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:36,085 You didn't pay our toll. We paid it. 529 00:18:36,154 --> 00:18:38,054 Uh, no, we did. 530 00:18:38,156 --> 00:18:39,355 We told the tollbooth guy, 531 00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:41,224 "We're paying for us and the car behind us." 532 00:18:41,293 --> 00:18:44,193 - He didn't tell you? - No, we just paid him. 533 00:18:44,262 --> 00:18:46,329 But that's so sweet of you to pay our toll. 534 00:18:46,398 --> 00:18:47,497 Thank you. 535 00:18:47,599 --> 00:18:49,532 Sort of restores my faith in mankind. 536 00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:51,668 Oh, it's nothing. Happy to do it. 537 00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,636 We're not in it for the thanks. 538 00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:54,737 You got to try my sweet potatoes. 539 00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:55,638 Oh, okay. 540 00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:56,940 I don't know. 541 00:18:57,042 --> 00:18:58,808 Maybe there is a lot wrong with the world, 542 00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:01,611 but there's a lot right with it, too. 543 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,580 Okay, Brick, I think I have a way to settle 544 00:19:03,605 --> 00:19:05,938 this Spudsy's thing once and for all. 545 00:19:06,162 --> 00:19:07,561 Whoever gets the big side 546 00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:09,185 of the wishbone gets to keep the job. 547 00:19:09,254 --> 00:19:10,620 The little side quits. 548 00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:11,721 Fair? 549 00:19:11,823 --> 00:19:12,927 Fair. 550 00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:19,696 Congratulations, Brick. 551 00:19:19,798 --> 00:19:21,631 You won fair and square. 552 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:23,366 I'll turn in my uniform on Monday 553 00:19:23,391 --> 00:19:25,525 and erase my name from the schedule. 554 00:19:25,670 --> 00:19:27,858 That's why we write it in pencil. 555 00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,540 Wait, Sue, don't do that. 556 00:19:30,642 --> 00:19:32,208 I'm the one who should quit. 557 00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:33,643 What? Why? 558 00:19:33,712 --> 00:19:36,980 It means more to you than it does to me. 559 00:19:37,082 --> 00:19:38,514 Plus I keep licking the potatoes. 560 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,616 They're gonna catch me eventually, 561 00:19:39,718 --> 00:19:41,351 so I might as well quit now. 562 00:19:41,419 --> 00:19:42,585 It started out 'cause they were salty, 563 00:19:42,687 --> 00:19:43,820 but then it became this thing where 564 00:19:43,845 --> 00:19:45,145 I convinced myself that if I didn't lick them, 565 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,102 Mom and Dad would die. 566 00:19:46,324 --> 00:19:47,590 Brick, you can't lick the potatoes. 567 00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:49,325 Man, you are such a weirdo. 568 00:19:49,427 --> 00:19:52,562 Call me weird, but I've got two living parents. 569 00:19:54,899 --> 00:19:57,200 I mean, sure, it's easy to stay in your car 570 00:19:57,302 --> 00:19:59,335 and complain about what's wrong with the world, 571 00:19:59,437 --> 00:20:01,838 but the truth is when you get down to it, 572 00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:04,707 we all want the same thing... to get where we're going 573 00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:06,976 to be with the people we love. 574 00:20:07,078 --> 00:20:10,113 So if you get out of your car and actually talk to folks, 575 00:20:10,215 --> 00:20:13,029 you realize we're all in it together, 576 00:20:13,752 --> 00:20:15,952 and maybe the world is just one spontaneous 577 00:20:15,977 --> 00:20:19,712 tailgate Thanksgiving away from all getting along. 578 00:20:23,450 --> 00:20:25,125 This time of year makes me think of 579 00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,415 all the Thanksgivings we've shared. 580 00:20:30,989 --> 00:20:32,355 Aah! 581 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:59,133 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com