Which of us encounters another human
without a sack of history,
experience, impression,
delusion, belief slung over our shoulder,
burdening us, to one degree or another?
We all carry a weight.
*CREDITS*
_
How can a man, sitting in a bar,
know what the woman approaching him contains?
How is the woman approaching that man
meant to know that she should turn around and run?
This is Allan. Allan, this is Birdie.
- Nice to meet you, Birdie. - Yeah.
- I've heard a lot about you. - Oh!
Surely, there's not much to tell.
Oh, come on, don't be modest.
Her personal essay in the Weekend magazine
about her own IVF struggle won a major award.
No, she's a fantastic writer.
Well, that was a long time ago.
Yeah.
- Rah Hou. - Mm.
Yeah.
New beginnings.
Ah! Eyes.
Cheers.
Well, Al and I have just been speculating
about the future of renewables,
specifically how the Victorian government's preparing for 2030.
- Oh. - What do you think?
Well, I think renewables are the future.
I mean, the writing's on the wall for coal, right?
Allan, tell your people Birdie Bell here
says the writing's on the wall, yeah?
Well, Allan's got a flight to catch.
- Oh. - Thanks for your time, Birdie.
- Let's keep in touch. - Mm. It was nice to meet you.
Oh, just grab another bottle. The same one again, yeah?
- Another bottle? - No. Thank you. No, I'm good.
Oh.
Sorry about that.
No, Allan's quite a big deal in China.
So... You're a farmer.
- Grazier. - Grazier.
Via architect.
And I've spent the last few years
in a private equity firm in the city.
But, you know,
I packed away the Savile Row suits after the divorce,
just for a more simple life on the farm.
You know, I still dabble in property and real estate,
but, yeah, it's just on the farm.
Well, I love the country.
My dad used to take me camping all the time.
Well, I run a small herd of Dorpers.
I fatten them up for the Chinese market.
I have a little shack on just over 100 acres just out of town.
Well, it's more like a shed, really, but it's mine.
It's a place to retreat to
when the pressures of the world just get a little bit too much.
Oh. Sorry, what is a Dorper?
It's a South African sheep. It's a more hardy breed.
It's, you know, better for the harsh Australian conditions.
So what would you do, if money were no object?
Well, I'm... I'm saving,
so that, one day, I can take a few months off
and write a book.
What about you? What would you do?
Well, I'd watch you write it.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
So you must be pretty well-connected,
because of your work?
Oh, Jesus, no.
What about... Do you know Susan Feuillet?
Ah, yeah. Farm To Table, the cookbooks.
Yeah, I think we're Facebook friends or something.
She's completely nutso, right?
Is she? I don't know.
I went to one of her events once, with my ex.
She's in marketing.
And I went up to her just to say hi.
And she'd look to music to say, "Oh, go away.
"Go, go. Go away, Joe."
Where's the bottle?
Oh, I'd better go anyway.
Oh! No, you've just got here.
I've got an early start.
B... But...
Look, I'd really like to get to know you a bit more.
Sorry, Joe. This online thing is a bit weird for me.
But it was nice to meet you.
And all the best, with the Dorpers and everything.
_
Oh, take a hint, Joe Burt.
_
We barely got a chance to...
- There's a face with a story. - Mmm.
I like this one, the defiance.
Like, "Fuck you, world."
Is this the women's homelessness epidemic?
Well, it's technically still a food story.
I'd really love to make it a feature story.
You should pitch it to Virginia.
Meeting Hank at the wine bar after work.
Could join us.
- No, no. - A table for three?
No, I've got something on.
Soup's up.
Hey, are you going to pray for me, Father?
I've been a naughty girl.
- Always in my prayers, Tina. - Ooh.
- Here you go. - Oh, thanks.
I did speak to her earlier, and she's willing to talk to you,
and have me fill you in on her story.
Oh, well, thanks. Thanks for setting that up.
- Can I hand some food around? - Why don't you do the muffins?
- Hey, Tina. - Hi.
Oh!
Thanks for talking to me.
Are you going to make me famous?
Oh - more famous?
I'm writing a feature on the soup van
for the weekend magazine.
Oh!
How often do you access this food service?
- That's my baby girl. - Oh!
- That's Montana. - She's super cute.
Was. She's all grown up now.
A doctor in Algeria.
Medecins Sans Frontieres. You heard of them?
Doctors Without Borders.
That's quite an achievement.
I bet you miss her.
Oh, Christ. Every day.
I am just so proud that someone as good as Montana...
a doctor who spends her life
saving starving babies in the Middle East,
came from me - a terminally-ill drug addict.
You could write about that.
You got kids?
Why not?
Beautiful person like you.
You got a boyfriend?
No.
People these days are so picky.
_
Ugh.
Siri, email reply Joe Burt.
OK. What would you like the email to say?
You have completely misunderstood who I am.
I hate being recognised by ingratiating restaurateurs.
So, if that's what you're interested in,
you'll be disappointed.
- Ready to send it? - Yes.
_
I hate publicity.
I turned down every single architecture magazine
that wanted to write up my company
because I wanted Eagle's Nest to be a home,
not a showcase for my ego.
I hate my photograph being taken.
I was furious when my ex-wife
turned our wedding reception into a fandango
and notified the social pages.
I stay away from social media.
I'm very private.
My kids keep telling me I need to put myself out there more,
but I'd rather focus on the substance of what I do.
I'd rather do good quietly.
If you got to know me, you'd know that.
- Hello, darling. - Hi.
Ah.
- Kettle on? - Yeah.
- Pot of tea. - Mm-hm.
Ah.
Oh, Anton promised that Rory would call
to help me put the bank on my iPad for me.
Yeah, it's just it's just really busy,
with work and organising the wedding.
What are you planning on wearing?
I mean, 'come as your best selves'.
Really?
Oh, everything's got to be so loose.
What's wrong with a dress code?
I thought maybe we could go dress shopping together.
Oh.
I got mine weeks ago.
Oh, God, you leave everything so late.
Speaking of leaving things late,
how did your date with the sheep farmer go?
Are you all talking about me?
No, no, no, no.
We're just excited that you're finally taking positive action.
You don't want to do this forever.
I'm not... I'm not single through laziness, Mum.
I do try.
Well, if the gays can manage it, I guess you can.
Show me a photo of him.
No, I'm not going to see him again.
What? Why not?
I don't know.
It was just...
Ick.
Oh.
Oh, hello.
- Oh, he's gorgeous. - He's alright.
Ah. Is that the photo you're using?
Oh, my goodness.
This is from when we had the last holiday together,
before Dad got sick.
I think so.
But, darling, that photo's three years old.
It must be at least three years old.
I mean, you're better off
choosing a more truthful photo so that you...
Otherwise you're just setting them up for disappointment.
He was disappointing!
He... He brought a random friend,
and only asked me one stupid question.
You think your father was perfect from the start?
- Yes. - No, no, no, no, no.
I never said that. You have to work at relationships.
You know, if he's got good bones,
you just have to find something to work with
and you start there.
He's a man, not a house.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You fucked it, you fucked it, you fucked it.
You don't pour the milk in first.
I know, I forgot.
I know, and I cannot drink out of a beaker. Please.
Could you please just get the nice china cup?
- Yep. - Oh...
So, you think I should see the farmer again.
I think, at this point,
you need to be realistic about what's still out there.
Just find something to like about him.
Just pat them...
on... the bottom!
Grab them...
by... the pussy!
- I will not... - Not!
- ..be lectured... - Lectured!
- ..on misogyny... - Misogyny!
by... that... man!
I did not...
- ..have... - Sexual!
Sexual! Sexual! Sexual! Sexual!
relations...
with... that...
Woman!
Hm.
I know it's late, but do you want to grab a bite?
OK.
We could check out my friend's bar, if you like.
- Yeah, I'm up for a nightcap. - Mm-hm.
It's closed.
- He'll let us in. - Yeah?
- Hi. - Hi, babe.
- How you doing? - Good, good. Mwah.
Anton, Joe... grazier. Joe, Anton... sommelier.
- Good to meet you. - Really nice to meet you.
- Come on inside. Please. - Thank you. Thank you.
Come and sit down, please.
- What did you see? - Oh...
Oh, the play that shan't be named.
- What, Macbeth? - Oh, don't say it!
The man-haters anonymous.
Oh, come on. It wasn't that bad.
I mean, they weren't anonymous.
Mm. Yeah, they tried to eat me at interval.
No, they wouldn't do that.
They'd save you for the climax.
Some pinot for you.
- Birdie loves her pinot. - Thank you.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
I'll just finish up over here.
Thank you.
Mmm.
So how are your kids?
Oh, well, life's perfect when I'm with them -
pancakes in bed,
catching frogs in the river at the bottom of the garden.
It's...
Oh, it's only when, you know, things with Mary.
She has her episodes. Things get a little bit wobbly.
Oh, come on. I'm not going to fall for any more of
your naughty journalist tricks. What about you? Eh?
What did Birdie do today?
Well...
I've been interviewing this lady from the All Angels Chapel.
She's terminal.
And she has an amazing story.
The All Angels? They're in that
gorgeous old building in the city, aren't they?
That's some nice real estate there.
- Do you know it? - I know it?
I nearly bought it as a development.
Then I found out who I was bidding against, so I just...
I withdrew the offer.
- Noble. Mmm... - Not really.
No, I found a better site with better rental returns.
Yeah.
You know, I think the Angels were, um,
were happy, the way it worked out.
Was that with Eagle's Nest?
Mmm.
- You Googled me. - Might have.
Mm?
Ah, yes.
My ex-business partner, Peter. Yeah, I knew he was a problem.
I just, you know, stuck with him a bit too long, unfortunately.
Is this OK?
Your hands are so soft.
I imagined them being rougher, working on the land.
Ah!
- You imagine my hands? - Well, I, um...
God, you're a funny one.
Of course, I wear gloves when I work with the sheep.
Of course you do.
Do you want to get out of here?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's a good idea.
Night, Anton.
- Thank you. - My pleasure. Good night.
- Thank you. - Nice to meet you.
Oh.
I had a lovely night. Thank you.
You're not coming?
No, I've got to get back to the farm first thing in the morning.
The bore's been pumping out mud,
so I'm going to have to dig it a little bit deeper,
otherwise I'm going to have to bore it out again.
Oh.
I've got responsibilities, unfortunately.
You know - people, animals, farm equipment depend on me.
Yeah, of course.
Hey...
Thank you.
- Night. - Night.
_
Oh... His shack.
Hovel, more like it.
What is wrong with you? Where's your sense of romance?
I'm romantic. I just have standards.
Oh!
I know it's early days,
but my mother's been asking to meet
my new, lefty journalist friend.
She's flying out from New Zealand tomorrow.
Want to meet for dinner on the way back from the airport?
- What? - I'm meeting his mother.
How long has it been now?
Five years.
Wait, you've been seeing the farmer for five years?
No, I meant...
You haven't been intimate with someone for five years?
- Oh, my God! - How are you alive?
- I would die! - Thank you.
It sounds really promising.
Do you have a boyfriend?
I think so.
_
Too many hours until I see you.
I learned a new word today.
Forelsket.
_
Heading to the airport, see you in an hour.
Hi, you've reached Anton at the Falconer.
Leave a message.
Oh, Anton, it's probably going to sound really stupid,
but I thought I just saw Joe at the Falconer
with a woman.
So sorry. Going to be late. Flight's delayed.
Big eye roll.
Just grabbing a quick drink at - guess where?
The Falconer, with my sister-in-law.
Will keep you posted, re - dinner.
Bad weather in NZ, flight delayed again.
I'll pick you up, shouldn't be too late.
_
Your Uber's here.
Oh... What? OK, right.
Did you get my voicemail last night?
I just... Did you see Joe at the bar?
I haven't heard from him.
Anton, where's the present?
Um, it's in the...
Ugh, it's in the hallway. I...
Anton, what was his sister-in-law like?
- Did they stay long? - Um...
Oh, where's my shoe?
I don't know, she looked nice.
Nice?
Don't wreck it, babe. Just be the cool girl for once.
I am the cool girl.
- Where's my jacket? - Here!
Thanks, Birdie.
Bye, sweetheart. Love you.
Hey, sweetie.
- Do I have to get off? - No.
I'm just going to crawl in here with you for a little while.
- Is that OK? - Mm.
_
Come on, Birdie! The movie's ready!
Oscar J from my class kissed me,
but I know it wasn't true love's kiss.
Oh, yeah? How come?
Because my foot didn't go up.
That's how you know.
Oh.
I'll have to watch out for that.
True love's kiss,
her evil stepmother's spell was broken,
and they lived happily ever after.
Can we have dessert?
You've just had fruit and cookies.
Oh!
Cheeky.
- We're back! - Sorry we're late.
Hot tub time machine.
Couldn't get him off the dance floor.
Ah, so good you're back.
I can't lift her anymore.
That's alright. Hey, Rors, come here.
Come on. Here we go.
One, two, three. Oh! Good girl.
Come on. Night-night.
_
There is no excuse.
Some stuff with the family came up.
It's very difficult with Mary.
I think she senses a new woman in my life.
I just want to do the best for my children.
I'm being torn every which way.
Thank you for being understanding.
Can I make it up to you with a trip to my shack next weekend?
Did the farmer finally text you back?
Grazier. He's a grazier.
Ugh... Told you it was fine.
Mwah!
Your chariot awaits.
Mm. It's so beautiful.
Say hello to nature.
Gate one.
Thank you.
You know, you're the first woman I've brought out here?
I hope it's not too rough and ready for you.
It's stunning.
Sheep are on the other side of that paddock there.
We can get a quaddie in the morning and go and have a look.
No-one locks their doors round here.
People trust each other in the country.
Cheers.
Mm. Very nice.
Is that one of yours?
Oh, yeah, this was Snowy.
Just kidding, I don't name them.
- Foot story. - I started...
Oh, OK. The foot story.
I was over there babysitting the other night.
And she said, out of the blue,
she said, "So-and-so kissed me." I can't remember his name.
"So-and-so kissed me at school.
"But I know it wasn't true love's kiss
"because my foot didn't go up."
- What? - Exactly. What?
I didn't know what that meant. I was like, what?
What do you... Really? What do you mean?
Anyway, we get to the part in the movie...
And the prince is about to kiss the princess,
and her foot goes... pop!
I said, "Oh, Rory, your mind, how you think..."
I don't know. Why is she thinking about
those sort of things already?
It was just sweet and cute and I love her.
You're quite madcap, aren't you?
- I can be sometimes. - Little bit? Eh?
Well...
Maybe we see if there's anything to it.
Oh.
It's OK.
Are you awake?
Mm.
I was just thinking about
what you said about my hands being soft.
It's the lanolin in the wool.
I thought you said you wore gloves.
No.
No, you can't wear gloves working with sheep.
You were onto me early.
*CREDITS*