1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,519
Previously on The Last Man On Earth

2
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,140
And now with the twins and Dawn,

3
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,106
there's seven ladies and only three men.

4
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,097
If you want a playdate so bad,

5
00:00:07,199 --> 00:00:08,531
there's an obvious solution.

6
00:00:08,556 --> 00:00:09,488
Jasper?

7
00:00:09,675 --> 00:00:11,742
You want to hang out or something?

8
00:00:11,921 --> 00:00:14,904
I now pronounce you regular married.

9
00:01:20,003 --> 00:01:23,356
Jasper, were you just
driving that limousine?

10
00:01:23,381 --> 00:01:24,517
No.

11
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,153
Uh, I think you were.

12
00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,308
Jas-Jasper?

13
00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:31,114
Please come back here when
I'm talking to you, please.

14
00:01:32,151 --> 00:01:34,342
Jasper?

15
00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,299
Another please.

16
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,703
Okay.

17
00:01:39,728 --> 00:01:41,528
I'll come to you.

18
00:02:04,326 --> 00:02:05,991
Finally.

19
00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:07,883
Some peace and quiet.

20
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:17,060
This is my new favorite room.

21
00:02:22,134 --> 00:02:24,818
Oh, hey. STD, sorry to disturb.

22
00:02:24,843 --> 00:02:25,943
Just be a sec.

23
00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:29,300
You see a box in here
labeled "adult magazines"?

24
00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:30,357
W-Wait, oh, no.

25
00:02:30,382 --> 00:02:31,770
It's not what you think.

26
00:02:31,795 --> 00:02:34,052
You know, it was just a
bunch of, like, Economists

27
00:02:34,077 --> 00:02:36,146
and New Yorkers, Audubons.

28
00:02:36,248 --> 00:02:37,835
That kind of fare. Oh!

29
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:40,594
Here we go. Right here, okay.

30
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,585
Let's see...

31
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,773
Ah, there she is. Okay.

32
00:02:47,798 --> 00:02:49,267
Sorry, excuse me.

33
00:02:49,292 --> 00:02:51,258
Just be right beside you.

34
00:02:54,556 --> 00:02:57,506
And with that, I will get
out of your hair, milady.

35
00:02:57,733 --> 00:02:59,600
Have a good day.

36
00:03:05,464 --> 00:03:06,999
Hi, Mom.

37
00:03:07,024 --> 00:03:08,757
I finally finished your wedding present.

38
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,486
Well, let's see it.

39
00:03:10,588 --> 00:03:13,422
Well, you know how people
always say, "It's such a shame

40
00:03:13,524 --> 00:03:16,358
you only get to wear your
wedding jumpsuit dress once"?

41
00:03:16,460 --> 00:03:19,469
Well, now you can wear it every day.

42
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,695
Ta-da!

43
00:03:28,439 --> 00:03:30,639
Erica, don't be jealous.

44
00:03:30,741 --> 00:03:32,641
I'm gonna do yours next.

45
00:03:32,743 --> 00:03:35,411
Oh. I appreciate that, but, actually,

46
00:03:35,513 --> 00:03:37,613
I think I'm gonna
save my dress for Dawn.

47
00:03:37,715 --> 00:03:39,448
- Oh.
- Good Lord, are you already

48
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:41,250
planning her wedding?

49
00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:43,385
Who the hell are you
gonna marry her off to?

50
00:03:43,487 --> 00:03:45,521
I don't know, we're
kind of short on supply.

51
00:03:45,623 --> 00:03:48,290
- I guess, uh...
- Uh...

52
00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:49,425
- Jasper.
- Yep.

53
00:03:49,527 --> 00:03:51,360
- Jasper.
- Watch out, Carol.

54
00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:54,496
Erica's already measuring
Jasper for his tuxedo.

55
00:03:54,598 --> 00:03:56,398
You better get in there quick or Mike

56
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,400
and Bezequille are gonna
be the youngest spinsters

57
00:03:58,502 --> 00:03:59,668
in the history of the world.

58
00:04:01,794 --> 00:04:03,205
Yeah.

59
00:04:03,307 --> 00:04:06,244
Actually, I think Jasper's
gonna be quite the lady-killer.

60
00:04:06,269 --> 00:04:07,543
- You know, he came up to Dawn,
- Yeah.

61
00:04:07,645 --> 00:04:09,511
And he gave her a flower the other day.

62
00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,246
Did he really?

63
00:04:11,348 --> 00:04:12,347
She's a little flirt.

64
00:04:12,450 --> 00:04:14,616
- Just like her mom.
- Oh, stop.

65
00:04:17,365 --> 00:04:18,720
So cute.

66
00:04:28,732 --> 00:04:30,232
Jasper, what are you doing?

67
00:04:30,662 --> 00:04:31,828
Nothing.

68
00:04:32,536 --> 00:04:34,403
J-Jasper,

69
00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:37,239
did you just put a
firework in that giraffe?

70
00:04:37,341 --> 00:04:38,307
No.

71
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:40,542
Are you lying?

72
00:04:40,644 --> 00:04:41,577
Yeah.

73
00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:43,345
Well, thank you...

74
00:04:43,997 --> 00:04:45,411
for being honest.

75
00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:47,393
But e-explosives

76
00:04:47,891 --> 00:04:50,452
are not appropriate for minors.

77
00:04:50,554 --> 00:04:53,489
They're for adults and miners.

78
00:04:54,176 --> 00:04:55,469
Coal miners.

79
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,338
It-It's a different "miners."

80
00:05:00,254 --> 00:05:01,296
Understood?

81
00:05:01,398 --> 00:05:02,331
Yeah.

82
00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:05,601
Okay, well, th-thank you, Jasper.

83
00:05:06,684 --> 00:05:08,182
Jasper!

84
00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:11,315
What did I just say to
you not five seconds ago?

85
00:05:12,409 --> 00:05:14,409
Okay, you know what?
That's it, you're grounded.

86
00:05:14,512 --> 00:05:15,634
What's "grounded"?

87
00:05:15,659 --> 00:05:17,546
It means that you
have to go to your room

88
00:05:17,571 --> 00:05:20,172
and no video games for a week.

89
00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:22,084
So... come on.

90
00:05:22,725 --> 00:05:23,925
Go to your room.

91
00:05:25,422 --> 00:05:27,456
I'm not gonna ask you twice.

92
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:30,592
Except this once.

93
00:05:32,748 --> 00:05:34,296
So...

94
00:05:34,616 --> 00:05:36,252
at your leisure...

95
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:39,434
to your room.

96
00:05:48,477 --> 00:05:49,622
Oh, hey, Care Bear.

97
00:05:49,647 --> 00:05:52,281
- I was just about to masturbate.
How goes it with you? - Oh.

98
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:55,155
I think we made a
mistake having the twins.

99
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,585
What?

100
00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:58,620
Of course I'm happy we had them.

101
00:05:58,722 --> 00:06:01,557
There are just so many
things I never considered.

102
00:06:01,659 --> 00:06:02,558
What do you mean?

103
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:04,252
Well, I was so focused

104
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:06,214
on step one of repopulation

105
00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:09,798
that I completely
ignored the next 50 steps.

106
00:06:09,823 --> 00:06:11,186
I mean, think about it.

107
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,375
There are three little
girls in this world

108
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,510
and just one little boy.

109
00:06:15,573 --> 00:06:17,225
Don't you think you're
jumping the gun here?

110
00:06:17,327 --> 00:06:19,260
I mean, the twins are, like, a week old.

111
00:06:19,362 --> 00:06:21,563
It's just Jasper gave Dawn flowers,

112
00:06:21,665 --> 00:06:25,266
and now Erica's talking about
them getting married, and...

113
00:06:25,368 --> 00:06:27,101
I don't know, I just...

114
00:06:27,204 --> 00:06:29,270
want our girls to be happy, you know?

115
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:31,372
I want them to be able
to find in someone else

116
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:33,141
what I found in you.

117
00:06:33,243 --> 00:06:34,542
Hey, I do, too.

118
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:37,145
But things like this
are out of our control.

119
00:06:37,877 --> 00:06:39,347
You sure about that?

120
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,482
Carol...

121
00:06:40,584 --> 00:06:42,417
I'm not gonna force anything.

122
00:06:42,519 --> 00:06:44,595
That's Erica's deal.

123
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:48,789
I'm just gonna sit back and
help nature take its course.

124
00:06:49,758 --> 00:06:52,126
Don't you mean let
nature take its course?

125
00:06:52,229 --> 00:06:54,128
Yeah. That's what I said.

126
00:06:54,231 --> 00:06:56,364
I'm gonna let nature take its course.

127
00:06:56,808 --> 00:06:58,775
Hey, Jasper.

128
00:06:58,894 --> 00:07:00,961
Got a minute?

129
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,153
You and I haven't spent a lot

130
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,477
of quality time together lately

131
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,003
so I thought we could
catch up over lunch.

132
00:07:12,028 --> 00:07:13,672
Oh, look.

133
00:07:13,697 --> 00:07:16,164
There's an open seat across
from Mike and Bezequille.

134
00:07:16,189 --> 00:07:16,999
Hmm.

135
00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:23,149
You are gonna love this meal.

136
00:07:23,251 --> 00:07:25,218
I took all your favorite things,

137
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,887
macaroni and spray cheese

138
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,790
and ketchup and Pop Tarts,

139
00:07:30,892 --> 00:07:34,539
and I mashed them all together
into one special casserole.

140
00:07:39,254 --> 00:07:40,387
So...

141
00:07:40,412 --> 00:07:41,911
where to begin?

142
00:07:41,936 --> 00:07:45,086
Oh, how about a general
discussion of the flora

143
00:07:45,111 --> 00:07:48,174
and fauna of coastal Mexico? Hmm? Hmm?

144
00:07:48,276 --> 00:07:50,209
Oh, no.

145
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:52,595
Would you look at that?

146
00:07:52,620 --> 00:07:55,047
I completely forgot I
have a prior engagement

147
00:07:55,072 --> 00:07:57,770
that directly conflicts with this lunch.

148
00:07:57,795 --> 00:08:00,086
You three will have
to continue without me.

149
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,821
No-no-no-no-no, no.

150
00:08:01,923 --> 00:08:03,089
Don't get up. Stay.

151
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,924
Eat.

152
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,093
Get to know each other.

153
00:08:19,307 --> 00:08:20,973
What's going on here?

154
00:08:20,998 --> 00:08:22,264
Um, you know, I thought

155
00:08:22,289 --> 00:08:26,045
it was only fair that the twins
get some face time, too, so...

156
00:08:26,867 --> 00:08:28,523
You know, I'm actually
happy you're here,

157
00:08:28,548 --> 00:08:32,084
because we should probably
figure out a schedule.

158
00:08:32,186 --> 00:08:33,562
A schedule?

159
00:08:33,587 --> 00:08:35,087
Yeah, you know, so Jasper's time

160
00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:37,944
isn't monopolized by any one baby.

161
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,717
You're talking about three newborns

162
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,619
and a nine to 11-year-old boy.

163
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,506
We can't set them up on dates.

164
00:08:43,531 --> 00:08:46,991
But it's perfectly reasonable
for you to plan Dawn's wedding?

165
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,926
You know what, you do
whatever you want to do,

166
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,129
just leave me and Dawn out of it.

167
00:08:51,154 --> 00:08:52,663
If that's what you want.

168
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,065
Yeah.

169
00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:01,839
And then there were two.

170
00:09:02,378 --> 00:09:04,323
Well, Carol is officially

171
00:09:04,348 --> 00:09:05,414
off her trolley.

172
00:09:05,439 --> 00:09:07,151
I just caught her Parent Trapping

173
00:09:07,176 --> 00:09:08,646
Jasper and the twins.

174
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:09,847
She even tried to get me to agree

175
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,749
to some sort of dating schedule.

176
00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,751
- What? No way.
- Yeah.

177
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,586
It's like that silly
little comment I made

178
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,621
about Dawn marrying
Jasper freaked her out.

179
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,523
And you know how she
gets all Carol'd away.

180
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,659
- Yeah, I got some idea.
- I was just so shocked.

181
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:23,894
I walked away, but I feel
like maybe I should go back

182
00:09:23,996 --> 00:09:25,663
and say something, right?

183
00:09:26,094 --> 00:09:27,129
Shoog,

184
00:09:28,232 --> 00:09:30,265
I've been on this planet a long time,

185
00:09:30,589 --> 00:09:33,704
and I figured out a
couple of universal truths.

186
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,707
One, you cannot domesticate a raccoon.

187
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,877
I don't care how smart
you think that raccoon is.

188
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,580
It's just not happening. And two,

189
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:45,324
you cannot use logic

190
00:09:45,349 --> 00:09:48,386
to win an argument with Carol Pilbasian.

191
00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:50,754
So just don't let her suck you in.

192
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,557
Yeah, I might be
overthinking this, but, like,

193
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,860
what if her crazy plan somehow
works and Dawn ends up alone

194
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,596
- for the rest of her life
because I didn't... - Erica.

195
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:01,932
Do not let her suck you in.

196
00:10:02,947 --> 00:10:04,023
Yeah.

197
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,872
Limbo.

198
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:09,851
? How low can you go? ?

199
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,643
Oh, Bezequille, cleared it.

200
00:10:12,745 --> 00:10:14,645
Way to go. Awesome.

201
00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,747
Okay, your turn, Jasper.

202
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,106
? How low can you go? ?

203
00:10:19,131 --> 00:10:20,895
? How low can you go?

204
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,920
? How low can you go? ?

205
00:10:23,116 --> 00:10:25,883
? How low can you go? ?

206
00:10:29,575 --> 00:10:31,752
Peso for your thoughtitos, bud.

207
00:10:31,777 --> 00:10:33,664
You think I'm a pushover, Tandy?

208
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:37,635
What? With your meaty thighs
and low center of gravity?

209
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:38,800
No way.

210
00:10:38,825 --> 00:10:39,970
Nah, it's just...

211
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,839
I've been trying to discipline Jasper,

212
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,807
but he won't listen to a thing I say.

213
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,540
I mean, yesterday, I
told him he was grounded

214
00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:48,789
and he just kind of ignored me.

215
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,948
I buckled like a pilgrim's hat.

216
00:10:51,050 --> 00:10:53,017
Look, bud, as someone
who's been in the Dad game

217
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,693
for over 100 hours, I can tell you

218
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,848
that being a parent is rock hard, okay?

219
00:10:58,873 --> 00:11:01,650
But if you'd like, I could
give you some pointeroos.

220
00:11:01,752 --> 00:11:02,751
Would you, bud?

221
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:05,443
Try to friggin' stop me, huh?

222
00:11:05,468 --> 00:11:08,542
Okay, so, uh, look, you
be Jasper, I'll be you.

223
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,759
So, uh, say something Jasper would say.

224
00:11:11,807 --> 00:11:12,960
Hmm.

225
00:11:14,972 --> 00:11:16,709
Yeah, I'm really drawing
a blank here, bud.

226
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:17,766
Yeah.

227
00:11:17,869 --> 00:11:20,400
Hmm, oh, is he, uh, a cookie eater?

228
00:11:20,425 --> 00:11:21,770
Yeah, as much as the next guy, I guess.

229
00:11:21,873 --> 00:11:23,672
Good. So, say, "I want a cookie."

230
00:11:23,774 --> 00:11:24,773
I want a cookie.

231
00:11:24,876 --> 00:11:26,796
Well, you can't have a cookie, right?

232
00:11:26,821 --> 00:11:27,710
End of discussion.

233
00:11:27,735 --> 00:11:29,397
Now go to bed without
brushing your teeth. Come on.

234
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,647
- Hey, but I want a cookie.
- Well, uh,

235
00:11:31,749 --> 00:11:33,476
I'm not gonna say it again, all right?

236
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:34,850
JK, here it comes. No cookies.

237
00:11:34,952 --> 00:11:36,725
But I really want a...

238
00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:38,192
No cookies!

239
00:11:38,217 --> 00:11:41,270
I said no cookies, right?!

240
00:11:41,295 --> 00:11:43,803
And when I tell you
what to do, you do it!

241
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,862
Because I am the adult,
and you are but a child!

242
00:11:46,964 --> 00:11:48,631
Okay, calm down.

243
00:11:48,656 --> 00:11:50,599
You don't tell me what to do, mister!

244
00:11:50,701 --> 00:11:52,994
I'm older than you, I
know, I've learned things.

245
00:11:53,019 --> 00:11:54,252
I went to college.

246
00:11:54,277 --> 00:11:55,704
I know stuff. Okay?

247
00:11:55,806 --> 00:11:57,840
And it makes me sad when
you treat me like this.

248
00:11:57,942 --> 00:11:59,842
It's a bummer! All right?

249
00:11:59,944 --> 00:12:02,933
I'm probably gonna cry
tonight, and that's on you!

250
00:12:02,958 --> 00:12:04,383
That's on you!

251
00:12:04,408 --> 00:12:05,614
Now I need you to go to your

252
00:12:05,731 --> 00:12:07,133
featherdrubbin' room

253
00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:09,961
and get in your least
favorite pair of jammies.

254
00:12:09,986 --> 00:12:12,211
And I swear to God,

255
00:12:12,236 --> 00:12:14,365
if I even catch you
thinking about cookies,

256
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:16,836
I am gonna smash your
little bones into dust,

257
00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:19,450
and then I'm gonna make
that dust into a broth,

258
00:12:19,475 --> 00:12:21,664
and then I'm gonna
slurp it down, laughing.

259
00:12:25,858 --> 00:12:27,770
And you'll be inside of me.

260
00:12:28,410 --> 00:12:30,773
And I will poo you out.

261
00:12:32,537 --> 00:12:33,603
So what do you think?

262
00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:35,276
It's maybe a little harsh.

263
00:12:35,301 --> 00:12:36,612
Yeah, yeah, that's a good note.

264
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,681
It's probably a little
strong for cookies.

265
00:12:38,783 --> 00:12:40,883
Eh, maybe more appropriate
for if-if he were

266
00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:43,539
to ever kill someone or
something like that, you know.

267
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:45,633
But, uh, yeah, the main thing is,

268
00:12:45,658 --> 00:12:47,367
bet you're not thinking
about cookies, are ya?

269
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:48,524
Not a bit, bud.

270
00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:49,825
I rest my caseload.

271
00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:52,828
Hey, bud, go get your Dad on.

272
00:12:53,617 --> 00:12:54,630
Thanks, bud.

273
00:12:59,459 --> 00:13:02,051
Okay, I'm just gonna
go ahead and say it.

274
00:13:02,076 --> 00:13:04,762
I think what you're doing with
Jasper and the twins is wrong.

275
00:13:04,787 --> 00:13:06,475
The matchmaking, the scheduling,

276
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,602
- the makeup?
- Relax.

277
00:13:08,627 --> 00:13:10,460
I'm not doing that anymore.

278
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:11,513
You're not?

279
00:13:11,538 --> 00:13:12,848
There's no need to.

280
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,846
After you and Dawn officially bowed out,

281
00:13:15,871 --> 00:13:19,555
Jasper and the twins'
relationship just blossomed.

282
00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:20,823
Relationship?

283
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:24,375
Yeah. It's totally taken
on a life of its own.

284
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,695
It's like I'm barely a part of it now.

285
00:13:26,797 --> 00:13:29,478
He even gave each of
them a stuffed animal.

286
00:13:32,849 --> 00:13:35,483
Carol, are you just saying
this to get back at me?

287
00:13:35,508 --> 00:13:37,642
Why would I want to get back at you?

288
00:13:38,046 --> 00:13:39,508
None of this would've been possible

289
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:41,543
if you hadn't pulled
Dawn out of the running.

290
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,978
I'm just so thrilled that

291
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,547
you didn't think Dawn having
romantic love in her life

292
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:49,518
was that important, 'cause it
just made things so much easier.

293
00:13:50,425 --> 00:13:52,807
Oh. Being a mom, huh?

294
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,990
You get it.

295
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:58,661
Hey. Thank you, Erica.

296
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,470
Let it go.

297
00:14:09,087 --> 00:14:11,674
Do not let her suck you in.

298
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:13,552
Do not let her...

299
00:14:13,577 --> 00:14:16,109
Hey, Jasper.

300
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,281
Got a minute?

301
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,887
Wow.

302
00:14:24,923 --> 00:14:26,723
That looks like fun.

303
00:14:26,758 --> 00:14:28,024
You know what else is fun?

304
00:14:28,059 --> 00:14:29,859
Taking your time.

305
00:14:29,894 --> 00:14:31,273
Not being in a rush.

306
00:14:31,298 --> 00:14:33,763
You know, just being a kid.

307
00:14:33,798 --> 00:14:35,219
Look, you have your whole life

308
00:14:35,244 --> 00:14:37,560
ahead of you and so many options.

309
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,495
I mean, Mike and Bezequille are great.

310
00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:41,863
And, obviously, Dawn's in the mix.

311
00:14:41,898 --> 00:14:45,021
She thinks you're fantastic,
by the way. Actually,

312
00:14:45,046 --> 00:14:47,544
it was her idea to
give you that go-kart.

313
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:54,709
? Love ?

314
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,110
? I get so lost sometimes ?

315
00:15:01,135 --> 00:15:02,417
Carol.

316
00:15:04,312 --> 00:15:07,178
Just ignore her, Jasper.

317
00:15:07,203 --> 00:15:08,656
Jasper?

318
00:15:08,692 --> 00:15:09,757
Jasper!

319
00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:10,680
Come back!

320
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:13,555
Jasper, over here!

321
00:15:13,687 --> 00:15:15,797
Jasper, in the house now!

322
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:19,740
? When I want to run away ?

323
00:15:19,765 --> 00:15:23,178
? I drive off in my... ?

324
00:15:23,707 --> 00:15:25,209
Wow. Just wow.

325
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,357
You know, mind blown.

326
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:29,124
I mean, you care to tell
me what you did wrong here,

327
00:15:29,149 --> 00:15:32,780
or would you like me
to let you know for me?

328
00:15:32,805 --> 00:15:34,778
- Okay.
- That doesn't answer the...

329
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:35,835
Okay, you know what?

330
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:37,968
I have tried being Mr. Nice Guy,

331
00:15:37,993 --> 00:15:41,051
but you have backed me into
a corner disciplinarially,

332
00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:43,107
and I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to start putting my foot down.

333
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,174
That first foot's gonna start

334
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,786
with this video game. Give me that.

335
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,444
It's mine now.

336
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:50,548
That's right!

337
00:15:50,573 --> 00:15:52,082
You march straight to your room, mister.

338
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:54,084
Uh, excuse me? Room's the other way.

339
00:15:56,195 --> 00:15:58,088
Y-Yeah, good, take the long way.

340
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,220
Give you plenty of time to
think about what you done.

341
00:16:01,245 --> 00:16:03,211
God, I suck at this!

342
00:16:07,421 --> 00:16:08,365
Hey, bud.

343
00:16:08,994 --> 00:16:10,660
Is something wrong?

344
00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:15,771
What was that all about?

345
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:17,241
What was what all about?

346
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:19,176
I thought you were done matchmaking.

347
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:21,211
And I thought you
weren't getting involved.

348
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:24,093
I'm only getting involved to
cancel out your involvement.

349
00:16:24,118 --> 00:16:26,050
So, the involvement canceler

350
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:27,750
becomes the involvement cancelee.

351
00:16:27,775 --> 00:16:30,020
- What does that even mean?
- Where the heck is Tandy?

352
00:16:30,056 --> 00:16:31,355
We're a little busy right now.

353
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:32,289
Someone call my name?

354
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,391
You. Thanks for the advice.

355
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,683
- You're welcome, bud. How'd it go?
- Great.

356
00:16:36,708 --> 00:16:39,029
I tried to put my foot down.
It landed squarely in my mouth.

357
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,431
- Oh, bud.
- No,

358
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,199
don't "oh, bud" me. Jasper hates me now.

359
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,301
- Thanks a lot.
- Could you guys wrap it up?

360
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,136
Carol and I were fighting in here first.

361
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,204
You know what? On that subject,

362
00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:48,372
I've got a bone to pick with you,

363
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:50,107
Ms. Go-Kart Enabler.

364
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:52,142
Ooh, yes, that is dirty poker.

365
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,078
I can't let a young man drive a car

366
00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,213
specifically designed for young men?

367
00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:58,182
No, not when that young man is grounded.

368
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,351
You didn't quite put your
foot down enough, huh, bud?

369
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:01,985
I put it down very hard!

370
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,354
Let's just keep it down.
The twins are sleeping.

371
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,089
Oh, they're probably exhausted

372
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,257
from their speed dating session today.

373
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,360
Dawn speed dated, too, Erica.

374
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,362
I told you not to go and get sucked in.

375
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:13,464
I do not need to be
patronized right now, Gail.

376
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,132
Listen to Mom, Mom.

377
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,983
I think you're acting
like a nutjob, too.

378
00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:18,842
- Mom?!
- Oh, if you're looking

379
00:17:18,867 --> 00:17:21,138
for nutjobs, I know a place
where you can find one.

380
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:22,306
You did not just say that.

381
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,174
- Yes, I did.
- How dare you!

382
00:17:25,781 --> 00:17:27,090
That's where I draw the line!

383
00:17:27,115 --> 00:17:28,212
Idiots.

384
00:17:28,801 --> 00:17:29,833
Guys.

385
00:17:30,185 --> 00:17:32,249
Guys!

386
00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,761
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Melissa, can this wait?

387
00:17:34,786 --> 00:17:36,631
Every single one of us is
in the middle of something.

388
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,322
No, it cannot.

389
00:17:38,347 --> 00:17:40,347
Do you guys realize what you're doing?

390
00:17:40,372 --> 00:17:41,358
There is a little boy out there

391
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,792
who's confused and freaked
out because all the people

392
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:46,029
he thinks he can trust
in the world are acting

393
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,775
like raving lunatics.

394
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,744
Guys, he is a nine to 11-year-old boy.

395
00:17:50,776 --> 00:17:54,072
Melissa, he's not just a
nine to 11-year-old boy,

396
00:17:54,097 --> 00:17:57,033
He's the last nine to 11-year-old boy.

397
00:17:57,058 --> 00:17:59,009
And that changes everything.

398
00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:01,178
Only if we let it.

399
00:18:01,562 --> 00:18:05,082
Look, Jasper is never gonna
have a normal childhood.

400
00:18:05,768 --> 00:18:07,935
Okay, he's never gonna go to school

401
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,052
or play Little League

402
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:13,855
or-or have a crush on a girl
he hasn't known since birth.

403
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,093
And yeah, he doesn't
know what he's missing.

404
00:18:16,409 --> 00:18:17,818
But we do.

405
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,268
And that's why we have
to make sure we give him

406
00:18:20,293 --> 00:18:23,227
just a piece of the childhood
that was taken from him.

407
00:18:25,253 --> 00:18:27,404
Maybe we can start with an apology.

408
00:18:32,620 --> 00:18:35,179
Jasper, we're so sorry...

409
00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:39,951
Oh, farts.

410
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,203
Jasper!

411
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,317
Oh! There he is.

412
00:18:44,342 --> 00:18:45,884
- JK. Bad time.
- Come on.

413
00:18:45,909 --> 00:18:48,109
- Jasper!
- Jasper!

414
00:18:50,877 --> 00:18:52,471
This is all my fault.

415
00:18:52,682 --> 00:18:54,333
- Don't say that, bud.
- No.

416
00:18:54,358 --> 00:18:56,191
The way I was acting was so off-brand.

417
00:18:56,293 --> 00:18:58,126
That wasn't me, and I
should have known better.

418
00:18:58,229 --> 00:19:00,796
Bud, this isn't on you.

419
00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:02,718
This is on me, right?

420
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:06,576
As the de facto and basically
facto leader of this group,

421
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,687
I should've given you better advice.

422
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,614
Right, you don't get mad at the sheep.

423
00:19:10,716 --> 00:19:12,359
Get mad at the shepherd.

424
00:19:12,781 --> 00:19:14,551
Thanks, bud.

425
00:19:14,576 --> 00:19:15,608
Hey.

426
00:19:15,912 --> 00:19:17,333
Little friendship kiss?

427
00:19:17,536 --> 00:19:19,789
Of course.

428
00:19:19,891 --> 00:19:21,925
That's the stuff.

429
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,827
Jasper!

430
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:26,896
- Jasper!
- Jasper!

431
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,566
Jasper!

432
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,835
Jasper!

433
00:19:33,690 --> 00:19:34,771
I'm so sorry.

434
00:19:34,873 --> 00:19:36,740
This is all my fault.

435
00:19:36,779 --> 00:19:38,545
No, it's mine.

436
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,810
I totally lost my mind today.

437
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:44,228
Just kept imagining
Dawn all alone, and...

438
00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:45,615
I snapped.

439
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:48,313
Motherhood makes you
do some crazy stuff.

440
00:19:48,338 --> 00:19:49,786
I once punched a mom

441
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,054
'cause she asked if my kid's pants

442
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:53,206
were from Mervyn's.

443
00:19:53,354 --> 00:19:55,992
She meant it as a compliment, but...

444
00:19:56,464 --> 00:19:58,315
it just set me off.

445
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,864
- Full disclosure, they were.
- Hmm.

446
00:20:01,222 --> 00:20:03,066
Point is...

447
00:20:03,831 --> 00:20:05,835
your kids are your life.

448
00:20:08,672 --> 00:20:10,774
We'll find him.

449
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,681
You hear that?

450
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:18,815
It must be Jasper.

451
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:21,651
Yeah.

452
00:20:45,761 --> 00:20:47,844
Well, it's definitely
coming from in there.

453
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:50,281
We found him.

454
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:59,601
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -

