1 00:00:04,742 --> 00:00:06,848 _ 2 00:00:07,645 --> 00:00:08,775 Happy anniversary. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,366 - Thank you, honey. - Thank you. 4 00:00:10,368 --> 00:00:12,268 Oh, thank you so much. 5 00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,636 Oh, my God, this is so nice. 6 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:17,360 - I cannot believe that you got us in here. - I know... 7 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:18,817 Welcome to Boccone. 8 00:00:18,842 --> 00:00:21,244 - This is the chef's tasting menu. - Ooh. 9 00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:22,912 20 courses. 10 00:00:22,914 --> 00:00:25,848 She created it especially for this evening. 11 00:00:25,850 --> 00:00:29,548 And-and-and is that the price or the year you opened? 12 00:00:29,573 --> 00:00:33,475 This looks lovely. So, thank you. 13 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,566 Enjoy. 14 00:00:34,591 --> 00:00:35,972 Okay, front or back door, 15 00:00:35,997 --> 00:00:36,745 what do you want to do? 16 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:37,960 I get a choice? 17 00:00:37,962 --> 00:00:39,629 Happy anniversary indeed. 18 00:00:39,631 --> 00:00:40,930 No, Tim, come on. 19 00:00:40,932 --> 00:00:42,131 We've got to get out of here. 20 00:00:42,133 --> 00:00:43,166 This is too expensive. 21 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,767 We're not gonna pay this much for a meal. 22 00:00:44,769 --> 00:00:47,001 Yes, this is absurd, but listen, 23 00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:48,604 this is a very special night, 24 00:00:48,606 --> 00:00:50,206 and I need to make up for 20 years 25 00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:52,308 of forgetting our anniversary, so we stay. 26 00:00:52,310 --> 00:00:55,255 That's very sweet and true. 27 00:00:55,907 --> 00:00:57,847 Okay, you know what? Yes. We're gonna stay. 28 00:00:57,872 --> 00:01:00,482 We're gonna stay and we'll just have to eat fast food 29 00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:01,706 for the rest of the year. 30 00:01:01,731 --> 00:01:03,438 Planning on doing that anyway. 31 00:01:06,102 --> 00:01:07,990 Enjoy your first dish. 32 00:01:07,992 --> 00:01:11,227 Foam of scampi with an uni crust. 33 00:01:11,229 --> 00:01:14,219 I recommend eating it from the inside out. 34 00:01:14,891 --> 00:01:15,865 Bon appétit. 35 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,635 Oh, God, Tim, you constantly surprise me. 36 00:01:19,637 --> 00:01:22,138 And these last 20 years have just been... 37 00:01:22,140 --> 00:01:23,773 Done! 38 00:01:23,775 --> 00:01:25,475 Next! 39 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:28,644 Oh, that's good. 40 00:01:30,078 --> 00:01:31,092 Let it swish 41 00:01:31,117 --> 00:01:32,281 - around in your mouth. - Thank you. 42 00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:33,950 Let it just coat the inside 43 00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:35,852 of all your mucus membranes. 44 00:01:35,854 --> 00:01:37,386 Ah, fantastique. 45 00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:39,489 You will taste all kinds of spices, 46 00:01:39,491 --> 00:01:40,857 like clove, 47 00:01:40,859 --> 00:01:43,066 cardamom and eye of newt. 48 00:01:45,296 --> 00:01:47,675 Ooh. I don't think it's a straw, babe. 49 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:51,309 Mmm. 50 00:01:55,807 --> 00:01:57,240 How could you finish that already? 51 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,274 College. 52 00:01:58,430 --> 00:01:59,453 Don't breathe, don't think. 53 00:01:59,478 --> 00:02:00,592 Just drink. 54 00:02:00,617 --> 00:02:03,131 This is loin of bush bison. 55 00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:05,782 I'm not eating your steak for you. 56 00:02:05,784 --> 00:02:07,450 I haven't even finished my own. 57 00:02:07,452 --> 00:02:09,685 It's your meat. You're my meat man. 58 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,693 I'm starting to get full. I think I might 59 00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:15,254 have to go to the bathroom and take my underwear off 60 00:02:15,279 --> 00:02:16,445 just to make more room. 61 00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,060 I took mine off seven courses ago. 62 00:02:18,062 --> 00:02:20,530 I didn't start the evening with a pocket square. 63 00:02:20,532 --> 00:02:22,352 And now we set sail 64 00:02:22,377 --> 00:02:24,573 through the South China Seas 65 00:02:24,598 --> 00:02:26,536 to experience the famous 66 00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:28,958 black pepper crab. 67 00:02:29,808 --> 00:02:31,141 It just keeps coming. 68 00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:33,495 We have to tell them to stop. 69 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,620 No. Heather, 70 00:02:36,176 --> 00:02:38,541 this is the greatest meal we might ever eat. 71 00:02:38,566 --> 00:02:40,349 It's our children's college fund. 72 00:02:40,351 --> 00:02:42,585 And we are going to finish it together. 73 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,343 I freakin' love you, Tim. 74 00:02:44,887 --> 00:02:45,895 Okay. 75 00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:47,760 We are not gonna have sex tonight. 76 00:02:47,785 --> 00:02:48,817 No. 77 00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:56,232 You're slowing down. Come on. 78 00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:58,159 We can't slow down. What's wrong? 79 00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:00,914 I might need you to burp me. 80 00:03:00,939 --> 00:03:02,371 You're seriously looking at me like that? 81 00:03:02,373 --> 00:03:05,263 I have changed you behind a shed at a barbecue. 82 00:03:05,288 --> 00:03:07,221 It's been a great 20 years, hasn't it? 83 00:03:07,246 --> 00:03:08,579 - Yeah. - All right, come on. 84 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,680 Oh, God. Okay, 85 00:03:10,682 --> 00:03:12,081 just make it look like we're hugging. 86 00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,883 Shh, shh, shh. 87 00:03:16,594 --> 00:03:18,120 It's delicious, huh? 88 00:03:19,724 --> 00:03:22,158 Oh, it's gonna hit my stomach and ping-pong back up. 89 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,324 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on. Look here. 90 00:03:24,349 --> 00:03:26,716 You got it. You got this. There you go. 91 00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:29,675 Oh, no more wine. No. I'm pregnant. 92 00:03:30,568 --> 00:03:31,934 Whole right side of my body is numb. 93 00:03:31,936 --> 00:03:33,302 I can't feel my right arm. 94 00:03:33,304 --> 00:03:34,942 Can't hold my fork anymore. 95 00:03:38,566 --> 00:03:40,697 Have you been hiding courses under the table? 96 00:03:40,722 --> 00:03:42,345 - Just the even-numbered ones. - Heather, 97 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:44,146 - I can't believe you lied to me. - Oh, you know what? 98 00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,900 Just shut up, Tim. I freakin' hate you. 99 00:03:46,925 --> 00:03:48,851 This meal is just like our marriage. 100 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:49,952 You know, it just seems like 101 00:03:49,954 --> 00:03:52,325 it's going on and on, 102 00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:55,091 and it's not gonna end until one of us dies. 103 00:03:56,912 --> 00:03:57,942 Enjoying your meal? 104 00:03:57,967 --> 00:03:58,828 It's amazing. It's amazing. 105 00:03:58,830 --> 00:04:00,801 Wonderful. Is it still going on? 106 00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:02,200 This dessert 107 00:04:02,225 --> 00:04:03,259 is inspired 108 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,694 by the men and women 109 00:04:04,719 --> 00:04:06,084 of the armed forces. 110 00:04:06,109 --> 00:04:07,069 With every bite, 111 00:04:07,071 --> 00:04:08,638 you're honoring them. 112 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,874 No course left behind. 113 00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:16,925 Mmm. 114 00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:18,082 Mm-hmm. 115 00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,439 Oh, my God. 116 00:04:20,464 --> 00:04:22,985 It's like a clown car where you have to eat the clowns. 117 00:04:22,987 --> 00:04:24,153 I can't do it... eat no more. 118 00:04:24,155 --> 00:04:25,554 You got to put that in your purse. 119 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:26,589 Oh, honey, you have a hot towel. 120 00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:28,336 Just stick it in there. 121 00:04:28,361 --> 00:04:29,215 Hot towel? 122 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,637 I thought that was a course. 123 00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:32,395 Did you eat your towel? 124 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,533 Everything's so blurry, 125 00:04:34,558 --> 00:04:36,260 and he put lemon juice on it. 126 00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:37,838 Oh, honey. 127 00:04:37,863 --> 00:04:40,202 I think part of me knew it was a towel. 128 00:04:40,594 --> 00:04:42,127 Hey, you know what? 129 00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,242 I am so lucky to have you. 130 00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:46,876 I love you, too, babe. 131 00:04:46,878 --> 00:04:48,388 Are you gonna throw up? 132 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,165 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 133 00:04:50,861 --> 00:04:52,631 _ 134 00:04:53,311 --> 00:04:56,575 So, my friend Helen, the preschool director... 135 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,020 the one who cuts holes in her shoes 136 00:04:58,022 --> 00:04:59,655 - to make room for her bunions. - Mm-hmm. 137 00:04:59,657 --> 00:05:01,223 Mm. Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:01,225 --> 00:05:03,684 She took Lark off the wait list. 139 00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:04,460 What? 140 00:05:04,462 --> 00:05:06,228 Lark's in, starting Monday. 141 00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:08,030 - That is amazing! - Oh! 142 00:05:08,032 --> 00:05:09,765 How did you make that happen? 143 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,300 Are you and Helen lovers? 144 00:05:11,302 --> 00:05:13,469 - No. She wishes. - Yeah. Mmm. 145 00:05:13,471 --> 00:05:15,538 Well, you know, all the kids have to be potty-trained, 146 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,206 and this one little fellow, 147 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,542 he was pooing in the turtle habitat 148 00:05:19,544 --> 00:05:22,578 - and blaming it on the turtles, and... - Oh. 149 00:05:22,580 --> 00:05:24,180 Yeah, it's so great 150 00:05:24,182 --> 00:05:26,015 that you've got Lark potty-trained. 151 00:05:27,581 --> 00:05:29,085 - Well, of course. - Mm-hmm. 152 00:05:29,087 --> 00:05:30,369 Lark is... 153 00:05:30,394 --> 00:05:31,287 - good to go. - Yep. 154 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:32,421 Or not go. 155 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,687 Like her dad. 156 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:36,783 - I'm just so stressed. - I know. 157 00:05:36,808 --> 00:05:39,028 We've only got two days to potty-train Lark. 158 00:05:39,030 --> 00:05:41,263 No, it's about lying to my mom. 159 00:05:41,265 --> 00:05:43,232 We have a relationship built on trust. 160 00:05:43,234 --> 00:05:44,867 Yeah, but this didn't start out as a lie. 161 00:05:44,869 --> 00:05:46,035 You know? She just wanted us 162 00:05:46,037 --> 00:05:47,837 to do it when Lark clearly wasn't ready. 163 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,839 And then we weren't ready, and then we took that trip, 164 00:05:49,841 --> 00:05:53,009 and then it was winter, and then spring and summer, and now, well, 165 00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:54,010 here we are. 166 00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:55,411 - But now's a good time. Right? - Yeah. 167 00:05:55,413 --> 00:05:56,998 Larkie, you want to use the potty? 168 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,422 No! 169 00:05:59,017 --> 00:06:00,916 She outsmarted us again. 170 00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:02,518 Okay. 171 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,020 So Larkie goes in the potty 172 00:06:04,022 --> 00:06:05,788 just like Mommy and Daddy. 173 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,765 Here, look. 174 00:06:08,261 --> 00:06:10,926 Good job! You're a big girl! 175 00:06:10,928 --> 00:06:12,495 You want to go sit on it? 176 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,964 No, I want to go on that one. 177 00:06:14,966 --> 00:06:16,365 All right. 178 00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:18,434 - Sure. Big girl, big potty. - Okay. Sure. 179 00:06:18,436 --> 00:06:20,770 All right, there's that. 180 00:06:20,772 --> 00:06:22,304 - Okay. - All right. 181 00:06:22,306 --> 00:06:23,939 - Here we go. - Wow. 182 00:06:23,941 --> 00:06:25,374 Look at you up there. 183 00:06:25,376 --> 00:06:27,276 I could fall in. 184 00:06:27,278 --> 00:06:29,278 Okay, you want to go in the little potty, then? 185 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,513 No! 186 00:06:31,196 --> 00:06:34,309 Well, much like when I'm not in the mood, 187 00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:35,918 I think we're gonna need some props. 188 00:06:37,822 --> 00:06:39,543 Poop, poop. 189 00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:41,123 Look what I did! 190 00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:42,957 'Cause I'm a big girl. 191 00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:44,994 And if you hold it in for too long, 192 00:06:44,996 --> 00:06:46,996 it comes out your mouth. 193 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:48,364 What? 194 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,732 Yuck! 195 00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:53,836 So, apparently we've scared our daughter so much 196 00:06:53,838 --> 00:06:55,954 that now she won't even poop in her diaper. 197 00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:58,140 Yeah, but at least we got her to pee in the potty. 198 00:06:58,142 --> 00:06:59,542 I mean, technically, she started peeing and you 199 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,677 slipped the potty under her, but you got a lot of it. 200 00:07:01,679 --> 00:07:03,379 You think the preschool would accept that? 201 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,448 I called and they said hard no. 202 00:07:05,450 --> 00:07:08,818 We have 24 hours to make this happen. 203 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,387 Actually, it's more like an hour. 204 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,856 Yeah, uh, my mom wants to come for dinner. 205 00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:15,324 I-I could totally tell her no, 206 00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:18,094 but I replied with those emojis of the two dancing girls, 207 00:07:18,096 --> 00:07:19,995 and-and that kind of means boogie on over. 208 00:07:19,997 --> 00:07:21,674 Oh, wait a minute. 209 00:07:21,699 --> 00:07:22,999 Oh. This is her. 210 00:07:23,024 --> 00:07:24,518 She'd also like fajitas, 211 00:07:24,543 --> 00:07:25,545 but she doesn't care which meat. 212 00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:26,802 And, look, 213 00:07:26,804 --> 00:07:28,003 I can totally tell her not to come. 214 00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:29,105 Oh, wait a minute. 215 00:07:29,107 --> 00:07:30,645 She's here. 216 00:07:30,670 --> 00:07:32,508 But I can totally tell her to leave. 217 00:07:34,211 --> 00:07:37,109 I never thought of tofu as meat. 218 00:07:37,134 --> 00:07:38,839 But the way you cook this, 219 00:07:38,864 --> 00:07:41,230 it certainly requires a steak knife. 220 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,185 - I see what you did there. - Mmm. 221 00:07:43,187 --> 00:07:46,105 I should have mentioned that I like shrimp. 222 00:07:46,130 --> 00:07:48,190 - Okay. - Shrimp is really easy to cook. 223 00:07:48,192 --> 00:07:50,024 - Right. - Uh, hey, Jen? 224 00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:52,012 Lark's about to go again, and she just says 225 00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:54,470 that you applaud the best, so... 226 00:07:54,495 --> 00:07:56,695 Chicken is another good option. 227 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,649 It's really difficult to screw it up. 228 00:07:58,674 --> 00:08:00,569 That's why they call it "the forgiving meat." 229 00:08:00,571 --> 00:08:03,072 - Mm-hmm. - I want to poop in a diaper! 230 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,741 Yeah. Uh, hey, you want to know what, Mom? 231 00:08:05,743 --> 00:08:07,910 Uh, what do you say we go to your house, and, uh, 232 00:08:07,912 --> 00:08:11,503 I can tell you about a traumatic childhood memory that, uh, 233 00:08:11,528 --> 00:08:14,573 I've never discussed with anyone un-until this moment. 234 00:08:14,598 --> 00:08:16,415 Is this about your tail? 235 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,653 - What? - Your tail. 236 00:08:17,655 --> 00:08:18,721 I'm sorry, what? 237 00:08:18,723 --> 00:08:20,389 They said you were so young 238 00:08:20,391 --> 00:08:21,924 you'd never remember the surgery. 239 00:08:21,926 --> 00:08:23,392 Oh, my gosh. 240 00:08:23,394 --> 00:08:26,235 I'll never go in a potty, never! 241 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,015 What's going on? 242 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,076 We didn't potty-train Lark 243 00:08:31,101 --> 00:08:33,624 when you told us to, and now... 244 00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:34,467 well, 245 00:08:34,492 --> 00:08:35,538 we're stuck. 246 00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:36,805 Oh, I see. 247 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,351 Mom, I'm-I'm sorry. 248 00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:40,376 Well... 249 00:08:40,378 --> 00:08:42,152 it just so happens 250 00:08:42,177 --> 00:08:45,748 I carry around a bag of prunes for your father. 251 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:47,456 So, "no" 252 00:08:47,481 --> 00:08:49,110 is no longer an option. 253 00:08:49,135 --> 00:08:50,167 Good-bye. 254 00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:51,972 I'm gonna go home and eat. 255 00:08:51,997 --> 00:08:54,423 So we'll just circle back to the tail thing, then. 256 00:08:57,762 --> 00:08:59,662 Oh, she's had an entire bag, Greg. 257 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,363 I mean, if we can't get her to poop today, 258 00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:03,265 we're just gonna have to start over with a new baby. 259 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:04,466 Come on, Lark. 260 00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,625 Come on, let's keep eating these prunes, right? 261 00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:08,523 Mmm! Huh? 262 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,514 They're, like... 263 00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:11,307 super raisins. 264 00:09:11,309 --> 00:09:13,475 I need to go potty. 265 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:15,411 - Oh. Go time. - Let's go. Let's go. 266 00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:16,812 I need to go! 267 00:09:16,814 --> 00:09:18,708 - All right, we're gonna get there. - My hands are slippery 268 00:09:18,733 --> 00:09:20,349 from all the... You know what? Forget it. 269 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,850 - All right, come on. - All right, 270 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,018 here we go! 271 00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:26,271 I'm scared. 272 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,824 Oh, it's okay, honey, everyone sits on the potty. 273 00:09:28,826 --> 00:09:30,492 You know, except for at my office, 274 00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:32,695 where the women are animals and you're forced to hover. 275 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,463 Hold my feet, Mommy. 276 00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:36,632 You want me to hold your feet? Okay. 277 00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:38,326 Oh. 278 00:09:38,351 --> 00:09:39,860 Uh-oh. 279 00:09:40,035 --> 00:09:41,704 Those prunes are starting to kick in. 280 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,540 Man, I really wish I didn't chase them down with those two coffees. 281 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,342 Okay, well, we only have one bathroom, so you're 282 00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:48,047 gonna have to go to the gas station. 283 00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:49,445 What? No, I can't. 284 00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:52,693 I need it to be quiet... and not to smell weird, and, 285 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:54,076 you know, to be the right temperature. 286 00:09:54,101 --> 00:09:55,884 Okay, and you wonder why our daughter's having issues. 287 00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:58,287 - It's okay. I can wait. - Okay. 288 00:09:58,289 --> 00:09:59,888 No. I-I can't wait. 289 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,091 Okay, honey, I'm sorry, this is happening, all right? 290 00:10:02,093 --> 00:10:04,760 It's go time for Daddy. Daddy needs the potty! 291 00:10:04,762 --> 00:10:05,728 I gotta go! 292 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,929 Yeah, well, so does Daddy! 293 00:10:06,931 --> 00:10:08,397 What? Oh, no. 294 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,965 Oh, God! No. Well, 295 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:12,701 Mommy needs to stay attracted to Daddy, so see ya! 296 00:10:12,703 --> 00:10:15,300 No, Mommy. Hold my feet. 297 00:10:16,327 --> 00:10:18,860 Do you really need me to do that? 298 00:10:20,466 --> 00:10:22,011 Oh, God. 299 00:10:22,013 --> 00:10:23,712 Wow. This is love. 300 00:10:23,714 --> 00:10:27,059 I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. 301 00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:29,985 Good job! You're a big girl! 302 00:10:29,987 --> 00:10:32,711 I want to be a big girl like Daddy. 303 00:10:32,736 --> 00:10:33,946 Here I go. 304 00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:36,458 Do it. Push. Push, Lark. 305 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,158 - Ah. - Oh. 306 00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,733 I'll just wrap this up in the hall. 307 00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:53,868 Oh! Leg cramp. 308 00:10:55,327 --> 00:10:57,232 _ 309 00:10:59,029 --> 00:11:01,017 Whoo! 310 00:11:01,019 --> 00:11:02,470 Had no idea you liked golf. 311 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,408 Yeah, can't get enough of it. 312 00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:05,723 You don't look like a golf guy. 313 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:09,894 You look more like a theater guy who a golf guy would bully. 314 00:11:10,409 --> 00:11:11,752 Sure this has nothing to do with the fact 315 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,556 that Clementine just started working here as a cart girl? 316 00:11:14,581 --> 00:11:16,354 Nope, nope. I just love getting out 317 00:11:16,379 --> 00:11:19,010 and playing all ten holes every chance I get. 318 00:11:19,035 --> 00:11:20,322 It's 18 holes. 319 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,264 18? Are you kidding me? We'll be here all day. 320 00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:31,739 You can play that. 321 00:11:31,741 --> 00:11:33,341 Or-or hit another. 322 00:11:39,549 --> 00:11:40,982 Hey, what's going on over there? 323 00:11:40,984 --> 00:11:42,416 Oh, it's nothing. They're probably 324 00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:44,541 just hitting on the cart girl. 325 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:45,419 Clementine? 326 00:11:45,421 --> 00:11:46,487 Not necessarily. 327 00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:48,389 I mean, it could be a different cart girl. 328 00:11:48,414 --> 00:11:50,490 No, the club only allows one. 329 00:11:50,515 --> 00:11:52,845 When we had more, the members kept paying them 330 00:11:52,870 --> 00:11:55,471 to wrestle in the water hazards there. 331 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,465 Did everybody get one? 332 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,667 All I care about is that Clem is happy 333 00:11:59,669 --> 00:12:01,836 and I finish this hole under ten. 334 00:12:02,703 --> 00:12:04,068 Oh! 335 00:12:04,093 --> 00:12:05,125 Hey! 336 00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,341 Sorry. 337 00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:08,709 You're still away. 338 00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:13,301 - Have fun. - All right. 339 00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,483 Hey, guys. 340 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,752 Sorry. I got the balls only the pros use, 341 00:12:17,754 --> 00:12:19,620 - so they go a lot further. - Oh. 342 00:12:19,622 --> 00:12:21,269 Do you guys want anything to drink? 343 00:12:21,294 --> 00:12:23,924 No, I want to golf sober like an idiot. 344 00:12:23,949 --> 00:12:25,424 Two beers. 345 00:12:25,449 --> 00:12:26,928 - Okay. - I'll have a Perrier. 346 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:27,962 What? 347 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:30,765 I mean, uh, rosé. 348 00:12:30,767 --> 00:12:31,899 Okay. 349 00:12:31,901 --> 00:12:33,492 - Rosé. - Yeah. 350 00:12:33,517 --> 00:12:34,869 And two beers. 351 00:12:34,871 --> 00:12:36,304 That'll be 26 bucks. 352 00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:38,587 But we agreed... I get you the job, 353 00:12:38,612 --> 00:12:40,383 and you get me the free drinks. 354 00:12:40,408 --> 00:12:42,777 Oh, is that what all the winks were about? 355 00:12:42,978 --> 00:12:44,612 No, I just thought you were having a stroke. 356 00:12:44,614 --> 00:12:46,553 Well, this is ridiculous. 357 00:12:46,578 --> 00:12:48,041 I made you. 358 00:12:51,608 --> 00:12:53,457 Do you want me to watch you hit the ball? 359 00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,850 I'd rather you didn't. 360 00:12:57,321 --> 00:12:58,928 Oh! Geez. 361 00:12:58,953 --> 00:13:00,036 Oh. 362 00:13:00,061 --> 00:13:00,950 Hi. 363 00:13:00,975 --> 00:13:02,129 Hi. 364 00:13:02,131 --> 00:13:04,120 Look, on behalf of my entire gender, 365 00:13:04,145 --> 00:13:06,846 I want to apologize for the way that you were treated today. 366 00:13:06,871 --> 00:13:08,604 Are you kidding me? 367 00:13:08,629 --> 00:13:11,268 Oh, I had so much fun today. 368 00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:12,706 You know, I never knew that I looked like someone 369 00:13:12,731 --> 00:13:13,941 who could keep a secret. 370 00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:16,659 Wait, so you're fine with being completely exploited? 371 00:13:16,684 --> 00:13:17,511 What are you talking about? 372 00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:18,779 Well, I just thought you were above 373 00:13:18,781 --> 00:13:21,094 using your sexuality to get a tip. 374 00:13:21,119 --> 00:13:22,750 Wait, so that's what you think I was doing? 375 00:13:22,783 --> 00:13:23,515 Yeah. 376 00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:25,539 Oh, well, then, no, no, please, please, come on, 377 00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:28,078 tell me how you think a woman should behave. 378 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,657 Well, first of all, I don't think she'd look to a man... 379 00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:32,026 That was not a real question. 380 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,225 Save double bogey. 381 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,998 Whew, look at that hot new cart girl. 382 00:13:41,023 --> 00:13:42,103 I don't understand how you guys get 383 00:13:42,105 --> 00:13:43,855 any golf done around here. 384 00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:47,503 Hi, Dad! 385 00:13:47,981 --> 00:13:51,045 You realize you were just attracted to your own son? 386 00:13:51,513 --> 00:13:54,015 And he's not even that hot. 387 00:13:54,017 --> 00:13:56,884 Hey, Tyler, what are you doing here? 388 00:13:56,886 --> 00:14:00,521 And, more importantly, where do you stand on family discounts? 389 00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:03,665 I told the club president that only having female servers 390 00:14:03,690 --> 00:14:06,827 was a sexist policy that could revoke their tax exempt status. 391 00:14:06,829 --> 00:14:10,141 Attaboy, huh? Stick it to the man. 392 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:13,166 The man who's against giving me free drinks. 393 00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:15,750 That'll be 26 bucks. 394 00:14:15,775 --> 00:14:17,304 Damn it, Tyler. Not you, too. 395 00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,673 I should've let your old man have his way with you. 396 00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:21,894 - What? - Wha... 397 00:14:21,919 --> 00:14:23,754 And I'll pay for the drinks! 398 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,013 So, decided to go behind Clementine's back 399 00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:28,156 and steal her job, huh? 400 00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:29,214 Wouldn't it have been easier 401 00:14:29,239 --> 00:14:31,198 to just admit to her that you were jealous? 402 00:14:31,223 --> 00:14:33,587 Then she'd know that I made a huge mistake in wanting a divorce. 403 00:14:33,589 --> 00:14:34,989 Everyone knows you made a mistake. 404 00:14:34,991 --> 00:14:36,401 That doesn't mean she doesn't think 405 00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:37,815 it was a mistake, too. 406 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,994 - You think? - So you need to go find that girl 407 00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:42,230 and you need to get her back in your life. 408 00:14:42,255 --> 00:14:44,473 All right? You go tell her how you feel. 409 00:14:44,498 --> 00:14:46,012 - Really? - Yes! 410 00:14:46,037 --> 00:14:47,590 She can't read minds. 411 00:14:47,615 --> 00:14:48,812 She's not a psychic. 412 00:14:49,234 --> 00:14:50,671 God, I hope she's not psychic. 413 00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:52,520 - All right. Thanks, Dad. - Go! 414 00:14:52,545 --> 00:14:54,078 Run! 415 00:14:56,423 --> 00:14:57,856 Look at him. 416 00:14:57,881 --> 00:15:01,082 Enjoying the show, you sick freak? 417 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,209 Clem. 418 00:15:04,679 --> 00:15:07,688 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? 419 00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:10,290 - You gonna apologize? - Yes. 420 00:15:10,315 --> 00:15:13,005 Look, I'm sorry that I acted like such a jerk. 421 00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:14,711 You were right. I was just jealous 422 00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:16,837 of all the attention that you were getting. 423 00:15:16,862 --> 00:15:19,033 You know, Tyler, this divorce hasn't been 424 00:15:19,058 --> 00:15:21,104 exactly easy on me either. 425 00:15:21,470 --> 00:15:24,594 - Really? Because I was rethinking my decision... - Hey! 426 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,383 You must be Tyler? 427 00:15:26,408 --> 00:15:28,375 Yeah, has Clementine been talking about me? 428 00:15:28,377 --> 00:15:30,470 No. She just said your name. 429 00:15:30,791 --> 00:15:33,588 Um, this is Ricardo. He works with me in the kids' club. 430 00:15:33,613 --> 00:15:35,716 Hey, we should probably get going if we want to catch the meteor shower. 431 00:15:35,718 --> 00:15:37,228 - Okay, yeah. - Yeah. 432 00:15:37,253 --> 00:15:38,933 I'll talk to you later, okay? 433 00:15:39,371 --> 00:15:40,064 Nice to meet you. 434 00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,188 Yeah. 435 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,994 Is that Clementine's new fella? 436 00:15:48,065 --> 00:15:49,959 She could do a lot worse. 437 00:15:51,061 --> 00:15:53,434 Maybe someday she will. 438 00:15:54,772 --> 00:15:56,264 Thanks, Pop-Pop. 439 00:16:00,053 --> 00:16:01,959 _ 440 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,646 Ooh, Napa Chardonnay. Hmm. 441 00:16:06,648 --> 00:16:07,952 Hey, Uncle Matt. 442 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,417 - What are you doing here? - Well, I'm definitely not taking food 443 00:16:10,419 --> 00:16:12,219 and sticking it in a grocery bag and then going home 444 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,154 because I didn't think anyone was here. 445 00:16:14,156 --> 00:16:15,522 Cool. 446 00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:18,325 Why aren't you at the strawberry festival with your family? 447 00:16:18,327 --> 00:16:20,354 That's where they went? 448 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,464 I just woke up and nobody was here. 449 00:16:23,394 --> 00:16:24,807 I'm sure your parents will feel terrible 450 00:16:24,832 --> 00:16:26,932 when they realize they left you out. 451 00:16:26,957 --> 00:16:30,125 No, they won't. Dad'll come in and he'll be like, 452 00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,562 "Oh, how'd you beat us in from the car?" 453 00:16:32,587 --> 00:16:34,871 Yeah, I know what it's like being a middle child. 454 00:16:34,896 --> 00:16:36,062 I mean, look around this place. 455 00:16:36,087 --> 00:16:37,611 There's no pictures of me anywhere. 456 00:16:37,636 --> 00:16:39,936 And I'm the good-looking one. You know, my whole life, 457 00:16:39,961 --> 00:16:41,634 it was all about Heather. And then, suddenly, 458 00:16:41,659 --> 00:16:44,024 Greg was born with a tail, and it's like I don't even exist. 459 00:16:44,049 --> 00:16:45,539 No one told me he had a tail. 460 00:16:45,564 --> 00:16:47,421 Nobody tells me anything. 461 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,723 I'm like the middle piece of bread in a club sandwich... 462 00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:51,725 Everyone just wishes you were more bacon. 463 00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:53,636 You know what? 464 00:16:53,661 --> 00:16:54,795 All that changes today. 465 00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:56,597 Today is Middle Child Day. 466 00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,765 What is something that you have always wanted to do 467 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,834 but you haven't been able to do because you're the forgotten one? 468 00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:02,603 I don't care. You choose. 469 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,193 No. Stop accommodating everyone like a middle. 470 00:17:05,218 --> 00:17:06,217 Be the bacon. 471 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,074 Uh... 472 00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:09,176 I've always wanted to do trapeze. 473 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,143 Anything else? 474 00:17:10,145 --> 00:17:11,334 Get my tongue pierced? 475 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,025 Trapeze it is. 476 00:17:15,586 --> 00:17:17,851 You know, there is a piercing place around the corner. 477 00:17:17,853 --> 00:17:19,586 It's only got one star on Yelp, but that's fine. 478 00:17:19,588 --> 00:17:21,188 What if I love this? 479 00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,790 What if I'm good at this? What if it becomes a career? 480 00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:26,627 What if I give you all the money in my wallet and we just call this a day? 481 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,061 I thought you didn't have any money 482 00:17:28,063 --> 00:17:29,296 and I had to pay for this. 483 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,433 That is correct. 484 00:17:30,458 --> 00:17:32,191 Are you scared of heights? 485 00:17:32,404 --> 00:17:34,404 I thought you were just afraid of spiders. 486 00:17:34,570 --> 00:17:35,936 Oh! 487 00:17:36,258 --> 00:17:37,593 Oh, look at that. 488 00:17:37,618 --> 00:17:38,874 Yeah, no, I'm scared of heights. 489 00:17:38,899 --> 00:17:40,140 Why? Do you think that there's spiders up there, too? 490 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,375 Because if there are, then, you know what, 491 00:17:41,377 --> 00:17:42,643 to hell with it... I'm just gonna go home. 492 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,444 Uncle Matt, the thing about being a middle 493 00:17:45,469 --> 00:17:48,983 is that people never believe in us or they forget about us. 494 00:17:49,008 --> 00:17:51,218 - But you know what? - What? 495 00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:53,737 I don't know. I've never been able to make a speech this long 496 00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:55,595 without someone interrupting me. 497 00:17:57,634 --> 00:17:58,859 You're right. 498 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,142 Middle power. 499 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,267 View is beautiful. 500 00:18:10,904 --> 00:18:13,325 I really should've told Colleen I loved her this morning. 501 00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:15,130 Can't believe my last words to her are gonna be, 502 00:18:15,155 --> 00:18:16,276 "Hey, can you hand me that spray? 503 00:18:16,278 --> 00:18:18,578 I just wrecked this bathroom." 504 00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,980 Hey! Hurry up! 505 00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:21,815 Other people want to go, too! 506 00:18:21,817 --> 00:18:23,350 We'll go when we're ready! 507 00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,885 You want to come down here and say that? 508 00:18:24,887 --> 00:18:26,286 Yes, I really do! 509 00:18:26,671 --> 00:18:28,871 Okay. We're gonna do this. 510 00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,024 All right, just take this bar. 511 00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:33,588 Hey. 512 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,894 All right, now. 513 00:18:35,919 --> 00:18:38,330 Now... now, just don't look down. 514 00:18:38,355 --> 00:18:39,499 Don't look... what'd I just say? 515 00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:40,867 Matt, don't look down. Don't... 516 00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:43,437 Uncle Matt? 517 00:18:43,618 --> 00:18:45,150 Are you okay?! 518 00:18:48,925 --> 00:18:51,011 Don't say anything if you're okay! 519 00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:00,951 All right, Sammy, here you go! 520 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,356 Spotlight's all yours! 521 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,424 Okay! Here it goes! 522 00:19:04,426 --> 00:19:06,460 Ready, set, go. 523 00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,663 Hey, man, check it out. That's my niece. I mean, 524 00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:11,732 she's a little bit quiet, but if you keep your eye on her, 525 00:19:11,734 --> 00:19:14,067 you see what makes her so special. 526 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,471 Oh! Oh, no! Okay. All right, all right, all right. 527 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:19,473 - That is special. - Okay, well, look away. 528 00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:20,658 That's my niece. 529 00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:21,942 Ooh! 530 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:24,394 Look at you! You're amazing! With the thing 531 00:19:24,419 --> 00:19:25,852 with the legs! You went upside down! 532 00:19:25,877 --> 00:19:28,683 - It was incredible! - I know! Thank you. 533 00:19:28,708 --> 00:19:31,017 Would you like a souvenir photo of you on the trapeze? 534 00:19:31,019 --> 00:19:32,586 Whoa. 535 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,755 Or you being lifted out of the net by a cable? 536 00:19:34,780 --> 00:19:37,080 Whoa. Man, I don't even remember that. 537 00:19:37,105 --> 00:19:39,387 It probably happens all the time, huh? 538 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,444 No. 539 00:19:40,696 --> 00:19:43,330 It's $19 for one or $20 for 50. 540 00:19:43,332 --> 00:19:46,411 What would we possibly do with that many pictures of us? 541 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:56,827 This is great. 542 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,624 I can't wait to see their faces when they notice these pictures. 543 00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:00,851 Yeah. 544 00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:02,757 You think tomorrow I'm gonna go back 545 00:20:02,782 --> 00:20:04,242 to being the middle kid that doesn't get invited 546 00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,744 to the strawberry festival? 547 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,398 Honestly? 548 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,585 Yeah, probably. 549 00:20:10,423 --> 00:20:11,917 But I won't ever see you that way. 550 00:20:12,986 --> 00:20:15,144 Do you want to hear something that no one else knows? 551 00:20:15,169 --> 00:20:16,468 What? 552 00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:19,191 Colleen and I are trying to have a baby. 553 00:20:19,546 --> 00:20:21,523 Oh, my gosh! 554 00:20:21,548 --> 00:20:22,894 That's so exciting! 555 00:20:22,896 --> 00:20:24,996 Thank you. Now, you can't tell anyone. 556 00:20:24,998 --> 00:20:26,631 - No, I-I won't. - Okay. 557 00:20:27,202 --> 00:20:28,667 Do you want to hear something first? 558 00:20:28,669 --> 00:20:31,002 - Yeah! - I have a boyfriend. 559 00:20:31,004 --> 00:20:32,404 Oh, Sam. 560 00:20:32,406 --> 00:20:33,405 He's a senior. 561 00:20:33,407 --> 00:20:34,306 Hmm? 562 00:20:34,308 --> 00:20:35,540 Isn't that so hot? 563 00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:38,343 Oh... 564 00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:43,554 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com -