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www.subtitulamos.tv

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For the purposes of
safety and security,

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CCTV is in operation at this station

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and across all underground lines.

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Thank you.

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_

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Ladies and gentlemen, I've just been
informed

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the next station is closed.

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This train will not be stopping at the
next station.

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For God's sake!

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What was that? I missed it.

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We're not stopping at the next station.

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Ah. Thank you so much.

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- Do you mind?
- Sorry, bro.

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I'm just looking at the map. Do you
know what the next station's going to be?

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No.

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I thought I recognised
her from something.

18
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- Which one?
- The lady with the teeth.

19
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You'll have to narrow it down, Gerry.

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She was the maid or whatever she was.

21
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What maid?

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There wasn't a maid. It
was set in a shoe factory.

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Well, the boss, then.

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I can't remember all the details.

25
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She was in Crown Court.

26
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That was 50 years ago.

27
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Not Crown Court, The Crown.

28
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Well, who was she in that?

29
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I think she was Princess Margaret.

30
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- Lesley Manville?
- Well, it might have been.

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People have to work, Edie.

32
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We haven't just seen Lesley Manville

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in an amateur production
of Kinky Boots, Gerry.

34
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Frig me! Is there a homeless
convention in town this week?

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What?

36
00:02:37,736 --> 00:02:39,840
Behind you, you blind bitch.

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If you're looking for your dad, he's
over there.

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Don't, Wilm, he can't help it.

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I think he's kind of cute.

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Fine, go ahead and shag him, then.

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Least you won't have to pay for his
taxi fare home.

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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Very sorry to bother you.

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I hope you're all having
a wonderful evening.

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But as you can probably
tell from my appearance,

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I'm sleeping on the
streets at the moment.

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I'm asking if it would be possible for
any of you good people

48
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to help me out with a
little bit of spare change.

49
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I'm so embarrassed to
have to ask you like this,

50
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but I don't have any
options at the moment.

51
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I'd really appreciate anything you can
give

52
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to help me out at this difficult time.

53
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I'm sorry, darling. I
don't have any change.

54
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No-one does. I need a card machine.

55
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What? No, no, no, no, no.

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What do you want to do that for, bro?

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- They can track you if you use cards.
- Who can?

58
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Them, innit? They're
watching us right now.

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No cards, cash only.

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Do you have any cash?

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Uh, no.

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Here you go, dear.

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- Thank you.
- Sorry it's not much.

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That's all right, I appreciate it.

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- Every little helps!
- Yeah?

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Stop it, Edie. He won't know Tesco's.

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I didn't mean Tesco's.

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I was just saying it as a phrase.

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Just don't get involved.

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Jesus! Are you OK?

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- You all right, bro?
- Yeah...

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You all right?

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You are kidding me!

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Very sorry for the power
outage, ladies and gentlemen.

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Do please sit tight while we try
and get things up and running again.

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Hopefully it won't be long.

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I heard

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some passengers got stuck in a tunnel

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for two weeks on the
Berlin U-Bahn system.

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Power failed

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and they were trapped inside.

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The authorities couldn't get to them.

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They sat in the dark,

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panic slowly setting in.

85
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Then they ran out of water.

86
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They turned on each other in the end.

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The weakest ones got eaten.

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Jesus, I'd rather eat my own tits

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than chow down on his gamey old meat.

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Be like eating a pigeon.

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Beg your pardon?

92
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I mean, my gag reflex is legendary,

93
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but I draw the line at that.

94
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Stop it!

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You should have more respect.

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Oh, keep your nose out, Melania Tramp,

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or I'll put some buttons in with your
change.

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What did you call me?

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- What is it?
- Someone grabbed me.

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Who did?

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I don't know. I don't know.

102
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- You all right?
- Yeah, I think so.

103
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All right. All right.

104
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They... They pulled my bag and I
dropped it. Sorry.

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Are you hurt?

106
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No, I don't think so.

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- Were they going for the breasts,
do you think? - Gerald!

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What? I'm just trying
to establish the facts.

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What's happened now?

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We're not sure.

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It's a sex pest in the carriage.

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Operates in the dark.

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My purse has gone.

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- Are you sure?
- Yeah,

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it was in here. I just
had it and now it's gone.

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Strike that. Sex pest and thief.

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Will you stop saying that word?

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- What word? Sex pest?
- Yes!

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Sit down, please. I've got this.

120
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OK, young man...

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empty your pockets.

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What?

123
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Empty your pockets.

124
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This lady has had her purse stolen.

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What's that got to do with me?

126
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I don't know yet.

127
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Why am I being singled out?

128
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I don't mean to be insensitive,

129
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but you're the only one begging for
money here.

130
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That doesn't mean I'm a thief.

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- Then empty your pockets.
- No.

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- And she had her breast pinched.
- Gerald!

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No, no. No-one did that.

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Poor woman's blotted it out.

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Coping mechanism.

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- Will you be quiet, please?
- Sorry.

137
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Honestly, sir, I haven't done nothing.

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He doesn't have to
empty his pockets for you.

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- You're not the police.
- He might be.

140
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They put them on trains undercover.
I've seen 'em.

141
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Look, the thief is definitely on
this carriage.

142
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In the absence of the law, I just want
to check.

143
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I'm only trying to help this lady.

144
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That's reasonable enough.

145
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Absolutely it is.

146
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And if he needs strip-searching,

147
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I've got some Vaseline and latex
gloves in me fanny pack.

148
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She gave me £2. Why would I rob from
her?

149
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- Well, that's the oldest trick
in the book. - What is?

150
00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,156
You remember what happened with
Sting's accountant?

151
00:07:00,176 --> 00:07:02,416
He thought they were friends. Scammed
him for six mil.

152
00:07:02,436 --> 00:07:04,003
It's hardly the same thing, Gerry.

153
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They always start small.

154
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I don't mind showing you my bags.

155
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Ah, there you are, you see.

156
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Thank you, sir.

157
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It's all perfectly fine.

158
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There's nothing to hide if you've got
nothing to hide.

159
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,580
That's great. Thank you.

160
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,669
- I do have more.
- That's...

161
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,626
fine.

162
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Don't you want to check them?

163
00:07:38,326 --> 00:07:39,586
No, it's OK.

164
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I trust you.

165
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I wouldn't if I were you, miss.

166
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Not plugged in.

167
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We don't mind being
searched, do we, Edith?

168
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,403
Well, yes, but...

169
00:07:51,423 --> 00:07:53,140
Just to rule ourselves out.

170
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,556
We've been to the theatre.

171
00:07:54,576 --> 00:07:57,556
We enjoy Gilbert and
Sullivan. We're not hoodlums.

172
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Honestly, you don't have to, it's fine.

173
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Did you have much money in it?

174
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,180
No, not much. But all my cards.

175
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,540
Well, don't... don't use cards.

176
00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,760
Why will no-one
listen to me about this?

177
00:08:07,810 --> 00:08:09,900
And a photograph of my father which...

178
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,620
I wouldn't want to lose that.

179
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,016
Well, look, I am happy to comply

180
00:08:14,073 --> 00:08:15,993
and show that I haven't got it.

181
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,810
Edith? Edith.

182
00:08:24,156 --> 00:08:26,703
This is just a car coat,
so it doesn't have pockets,

183
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,176
and there is nothing in my handbag.

184
00:08:29,196 --> 00:08:30,656
Well, two apple cores.

185
00:08:31,883 --> 00:08:32,983
You see?

186
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:35,860
That's what honest, decent citizens do.

187
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,356
Now...

188
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:44,740
are you going to let me check your
pockets?

189
00:09:17,466 --> 00:09:18,886
Thank you.

190
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Wasn't so hard, was it?

191
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,576
Speak for yourself,
darling. I found it quite erotic.

192
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,049
Don't be so childish.

193
00:09:25,069 --> 00:09:27,420
Well, I bet you've never tried to
keep a tuck with a semi on.

194
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,936
Shall I speak to the driver?

195
00:09:28,956 --> 00:09:30,260
Tell him there's been an incident.

196
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,620
Good idea. Proper authorities.

197
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,776
What about your pockets, Chief
Inspector?

198
00:09:37,796 --> 00:09:39,080
Can we look in them?

199
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,440
Yes.

200
00:09:41,773 --> 00:09:42,960
Of course.

201
00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:47,586
You see?

202
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:50,919
No-one is above the law.

203
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,060
You can't just do what you want
without consequences.

204
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,440
That's true.

205
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,863
I snipped our neighbour's
hydrangeas back

206
00:09:57,903 --> 00:09:59,860
and they planted bamboo out of spite.

207
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:03,236
- The drive's ruined, isn't it, Gerry?
- I'm afraid so.

208
00:10:03,256 --> 00:10:04,943
It was an act of madness,

209
00:10:04,963 --> 00:10:07,060
and now we live with the encroachment.

210
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,560
Shafts of it poking through
the tarmac like Hydra's teeth!

211
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:12,860
Have you tried boiling water?

212
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,096
Of course we have! It can't be
stopped!

213
00:10:15,165 --> 00:10:16,265
Sorry.

214
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:18,006
Who you working for?

215
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,140
Highton Grammar. I'm a physics
teacher.

216
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,570
No, no, no, I don't trust him.

217
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,516
He's been spying on us the whole time.

218
00:10:25,536 --> 00:10:27,387
- Don't be ridiculous.
- Yeah.

219
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:30,140
You've been writing stuff
down about us in code.

220
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,116
- That's a polygon.
- Yeah! Look, "actor",

221
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,583
"fake", "taskforce".

222
00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:35,683
It's a puzzle.

223
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:38,540
You have to make words
from the letters they give you.

224
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,290
Oh, I'm good at those, let me see.

225
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,990
You're collating. I see you collating.

226
00:10:43,313 --> 00:10:45,043
Collating what?

227
00:10:45,119 --> 00:10:47,500
Data. For them. There's a bigger
picture, yeah?

228
00:10:47,956 --> 00:10:50,140
Yeah, we're all being
monitored. You must know that.

229
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,580
Yes! It's aliens.

230
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,210
I've seen them too.

231
00:10:54,230 --> 00:10:57,900
They experimented on me at a bus stop
in Preston.

232
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,680
They put an R2-D2 in my bottom.

233
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,080
To scale, obviously.

234
00:11:10,632 --> 00:11:12,252
He's not joking.

235
00:11:12,293 --> 00:11:13,813
How do you know?

236
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,280
He's got it in that bag.

237
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:22,640
Oh, my God.

238
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,740
Speaking of bags, can we see inside
yours?

239
00:11:37,189 --> 00:11:38,412
Definitely not.

240
00:11:38,606 --> 00:11:40,236
Private property.

241
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,080
- Everybody else has.
- I said no.

242
00:11:43,946 --> 00:11:45,100
Why not?

243
00:11:45,936 --> 00:11:48,780
- What have you got to hide?
- Oi, fuck off, man.

244
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,956
I'm so sorry.

245
00:11:51,976 --> 00:11:53,956
I... I didn't mean to
cause this much upset.

246
00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:55,900
Don't worry, it's not your fault.

247
00:11:56,143 --> 00:11:57,816
I'm just a bit shaken.

248
00:11:57,836 --> 00:11:59,700
I've never had anything stolen before.

249
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,256
Well, I'm sure the
police can sort it all out.

250
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,816
- We'll make a statement,
won't we, Gerry? - Yes, of course.

251
00:12:04,836 --> 00:12:06,903
I'm sorry, but I'm not saying shit
to the police.

252
00:12:06,923 --> 00:12:08,816
I wouldn't trust them as far as I
could throw them.

253
00:12:08,923 --> 00:12:10,880
Hardly surprising, is it?

254
00:12:11,393 --> 00:12:13,703
- Why'd you say that?
- Oh, no reason.

255
00:12:13,723 --> 00:12:15,736
No, go on. If you've
got something to say,

256
00:12:15,766 --> 00:12:17,166
I think you should say it.

257
00:12:19,343 --> 00:12:21,380
I've been a teacher for 25 years.

258
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:24,780
I've seen the erosion of respect for
authority.

259
00:12:25,116 --> 00:12:27,020
There was a time when I would walk
into a classroom

260
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,620
and 30 students would
stand up immediately.

261
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,180
Oh, is that what you want?

262
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,923
"Good morning, sir."

263
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,700
This lady is a nurse!

264
00:12:35,633 --> 00:12:36,813
It wasn't so long ago

265
00:12:36,853 --> 00:12:39,480
we were standing in the street
applauding their efforts.

266
00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:43,416
Or maybe you never bothered?

267
00:12:43,436 --> 00:12:44,500
No, maybe I never did.

268
00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,683
Do you have a list of everyone who
banged a pan?

269
00:12:46,703 --> 00:12:48,550
Oh, the Government do. They see
everything.

270
00:12:48,570 --> 00:12:51,220
We were out there at least
three times, weren't we, Edith?

271
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,460
Although that Le
Creuset was bloody heavy.

272
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,010
# As some day it may happen
that a victim must be found

273
00:12:57,030 --> 00:13:00,470
# I've got a little
list I've got a little list

274
00:13:00,576 --> 00:13:04,420
# Of society offenders who
may well be underground

275
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,380
# And who never would be missed

276
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,209
# Who never would be missed

277
00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:09,890
- # There's the pestilential...
- Frig me,

278
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:12,020
it's like Hamilton for hobos.

279
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,579
It's from The Mikado.

280
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,543
# ...People who have flabby hands

281
00:13:15,564 --> 00:13:17,384
# And irritating laughs

282
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,943
# All children who are
up in dates and floor you...

283
00:13:20,963 --> 00:13:22,883
Thank you, darling. We'll let you
know.

284
00:13:22,916 --> 00:13:24,976
- # All persons who in shaking hands...
- Point!

285
00:13:25,016 --> 00:13:27,243
All right, let's stop
playing silly buggers.

286
00:13:27,263 --> 00:13:28,776
- Open the bag.
- No.

287
00:13:28,796 --> 00:13:30,436
Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have
to insist,

288
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:33,096
because you were closest to this
lady when the incident occurred.

289
00:13:33,117 --> 00:13:34,364
Stay the fuck away from me.

290
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,500
# They never would be missed. #

291
00:13:36,723 --> 00:13:39,660
If... If I could make a suggestion?

292
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:43,220
Let's take a vote. See what the
general feeling is.

293
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,536
Very good, Edith.

294
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:46,180
Democracy manifest.

295
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,000
Everyone who thinks...

296
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,740
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.

297
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,060
I didn't give you my name.

298
00:13:53,483 --> 00:13:55,620
Well, we could vote
on whether he should.

299
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,260
No, he doesn't have to give us his
name, it's fine.

300
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,140
Harold. My name's Harold.

301
00:14:00,609 --> 00:14:01,780
Oh, hello, Harold.

302
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,336
I'm Edith, and this is my husband,
Gerry.

303
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,459
Hello.

304
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,600
Binks. Raymond Binks.

305
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,140
I'm Elena.

306
00:14:10,310 --> 00:14:11,820
It's very nice to meet you all.

307
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,477
Well, my boy name is Jonathan,

308
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:15,720
gives me the ick...

309
00:14:15,749 --> 00:14:17,916
but my drag name is Wilma Dickshow.

310
00:14:18,415 --> 00:14:19,915
- Wilma...?
- Dickshow.

311
00:14:19,936 --> 00:14:20,910
Right.

312
00:14:20,935 --> 00:14:23,282
I do a bottomless brunch first
Thursday of every month

313
00:14:23,303 --> 00:14:24,510
at the Purple Sock.

314
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,603
I know! I'll put you
all on the guest list.

315
00:14:26,623 --> 00:14:29,703
Gerry and Edith. Elena. What was your
name again?

316
00:14:29,723 --> 00:14:31,140
I'm not giving you my name, all right?

317
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,580
Oh, damn it. I thought I was going
to Columbo him then.

318
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,856
He doesn't have to give you his name.

319
00:14:34,883 --> 00:14:36,276
He doesn't have to give you anything.

320
00:14:36,323 --> 00:14:39,940
Just because you assume authority,
like the fascist prick that you are.

321
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,700
Well, when the police become involved,

322
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,220
we'll all have to give
our names, won't we?

323
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,963
- I won't.
- You tell him, Cleo...

324
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,213
Oh, bum cheeks!

325
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,579
All right, this has
gone on long enough.

326
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,363
Is there anybody here who
thinks I shouldn't look inside

327
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,876
this young man's bag,
by force, if necessary?

328
00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:54,949
Yes!

329
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,460
Come on.

330
00:14:59,803 --> 00:15:02,840
Well, someone's nicked her
purse, darling, and it wasn't me.

331
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,620
There you are, see?

332
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:06,380
- Hand it over.
- Oi, oi!

333
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,980
What you doing, man?

334
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,683
Is no-one going to stand up to him?

335
00:15:11,497 --> 00:15:12,940
Give it to me.

336
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,560
Someone stop him!

337
00:15:34,763 --> 00:15:36,220
Me again, folks.

338
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,469
Sorry about the
continuing loss of power.

339
00:15:38,489 --> 00:15:41,156
We should be on our way fairly shortly.

340
00:15:41,176 --> 00:15:43,020
We are aware there's been an incident

341
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,260
in one of the carriages,

342
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,300
and the proper authorities
have been informed.

343
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,383
Once again,

344
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:50,720
I apologise for any inconvenience
caused.

345
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,849
Can I have my newspaper back, please?

346
00:16:05,886 --> 00:16:06,970
Oh, yes.

347
00:16:07,073 --> 00:16:10,120
I got "frock",
unsurprisingly, and "fork".

348
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,180
I wanted "cock"...

349
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,720
but there's only one C.

350
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:30,029
Did you know that "Meryl Streep"

351
00:16:30,092 --> 00:16:33,040
is an anagram of "try eel sperm"?

352
00:16:35,099 --> 00:16:36,779
It's always tickled me.

353
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,686
What did the driver say?

354
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,130
He said there's a replacement
service on the way.

355
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,720
Shouldn't be long now.

356
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,040
Well, looks as though I'm going to
be late for work.

357
00:16:52,366 --> 00:16:53,866
I'd love to be late for work.

358
00:16:54,653 --> 00:16:56,573
My job's 24/7.

359
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,213
Your job?

360
00:17:00,476 --> 00:17:02,059
Surviving.

361
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,540
Do you make much money going up and
down?

362
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,120
No.

363
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,460
People are just embarrassed. I get it.

364
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,300
I'm asking for generosity.

365
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:21,160
It puts them in the position
of deciding to be kind or not.

366
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,920
Do you think people are not kind?

367
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,040
I think most people don't believe
me when I tell them I've got nothing.

368
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,020
They think it's a con, I'm just lying.

369
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,963
At the hospital, I see the opposite.

370
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,340
Lots of frightened people trying to
make sense

371
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,880
of what's happening to them.

372
00:17:42,756 --> 00:17:44,478
They just really want to know

373
00:17:44,499 --> 00:17:46,379
that everything's going to be all
right, but...

374
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,640
sometimes they can't accept the truth.

375
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:54,220
Here...

376
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,900
You can have your £2 back.

377
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:57,610
Oh, no, no. You keep that.

378
00:17:57,753 --> 00:17:59,753
- Are you sure?
- Hmm. Yeah, course.

379
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:02,207
Hope it brings you luck.

380
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,483
Says here they're doing Salad
Days for their Christmas show.

381
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:11,180
Shall we book for that, Edie?

382
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,523
Boxing Day treat?

383
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,060
Shall we book Salad Days for Christmas?

384
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,783
No. I don't want to see Salad Days.

385
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,286
What's the matter?

386
00:18:20,313 --> 00:18:22,013
I think that man's a bully.

387
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,300
- Who?
- The teacher.

388
00:18:25,140 --> 00:18:27,780
Why do we always let people like him
bully us?

389
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,460
We're people in our own right.

390
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,129
We have our own opinions.

391
00:18:31,149 --> 00:18:33,180
Yes, of course we do, but we don't
have to blurt them out

392
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,603
to every Tom, Dick and Harold, do we?

393
00:18:35,623 --> 00:18:38,340
I don't know. I think we just sunk
into ourselves.

394
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,600
Anything for a quiet life.

395
00:18:42,106 --> 00:18:44,303
Well, there's nothing wrong with
that, is there?

396
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,919
What happened to you, Gerald?

397
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,540
You used to be such a firebrand.

398
00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:54,579
When you had that trouble at work,

399
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,260
you were the first one to
lead your team out on strike.

400
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,140
Standing there with your
whistle and your megaphone.

401
00:19:00,510 --> 00:19:02,663
That was a long time ago, Edie.

402
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,020
I came and brought you soup.

403
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,420
Do you remember?

404
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,700
In a big pot with a ladle.

405
00:19:08,986 --> 00:19:11,203
And we all sang that song from Oliver!

406
00:19:11,223 --> 00:19:13,045
Food Glorious Food.

407
00:19:13,066 --> 00:19:14,400
What is it, love?

408
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,749
What's the matter?

409
00:19:16,833 --> 00:19:18,606
I want more, Gerry.

410
00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:20,639
I want more!

411
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:35,940
Here,

412
00:19:36,277 --> 00:19:37,540
it's your favourite.

413
00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:41,320
All Too Well. 10 Minute Version
Taylor's Version From the Vault.

414
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,580
What?

415
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,960
You're not going to have an eppy
because I didn't put my hand up, are you?

416
00:19:49,053 --> 00:19:50,929
I can't believe you'd let him get
away with that.

417
00:19:50,966 --> 00:19:53,949
Oh, Cleo, come down off your high
horse, darling.

418
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:55,220
It's exhausting.

419
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,060
He assaulted those two young men.

420
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,060
Yeah, and we had front-row seats.

421
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:00,540
Lucky us.

422
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,220
It's not every day you get a free sex
show

423
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,036
on your train ride home, is it?

424
00:20:04,056 --> 00:20:05,740
I should have filmed it for OnlyFans.

425
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,800
The Teacher, The Tramp And The
Terrorist.

426
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,936
He's not a terrorist. Why is he a
terrorist?

427
00:20:10,956 --> 00:20:12,623
He was clinging onto
that bag tighter than

428
00:20:12,643 --> 00:20:14,290
Judy Finnegan to a wine glass.

429
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,020
And I bet he grew that beard

430
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,570
to hide his face from the cameras.

431
00:20:17,590 --> 00:20:20,300
Not everyone with a bag and
a beard is a terrorist, Wilma.

432
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,010
Yeah, and not everyone

433
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:23,510
who tapes their knob to their arsehole

434
00:20:23,530 --> 00:20:25,343
is a drag queen but... You know.

435
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,639
- I think she may be right.
- Thank you.

436
00:20:30,553 --> 00:20:32,620
Where are you heading to?

437
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,310
None of your business, man.

438
00:20:34,496 --> 00:20:36,296
You didn't seem to know the area,
that's all.

439
00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:37,783
Look, I'm not explaining myself to you.

440
00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:39,969
I'm not on trial, I'm not at
school. I've done nothing wrong.

441
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:42,740
"The lady doth protest too much,
methinks."

442
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,020
Shakespeare.

443
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:46,736
Well, they're sending somebody to
help us.

444
00:20:46,756 --> 00:20:48,316
Maybe we should just wait.

445
00:20:48,336 --> 00:20:49,220
Yeah.

446
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,540
- Well, I believe him.
- Thank you.

447
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,420
Not you. Him.

448
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,140
That's not a particularly glowing
endorsement

449
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,143
coming from a common thief.

450
00:20:58,163 --> 00:20:59,463
I'm not a thief.

451
00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:03,100
Crawling up and down the train
carriage all day,

452
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,900
begging for change!

453
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,936
You work your fingers to the bone!

454
00:21:07,956 --> 00:21:09,620
Shut your mouth!

455
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,960
I'm with you.

456
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:12,720
Someone's got to stand up to the man.

457
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,643
Exactly. And he's been lording it

458
00:21:14,663 --> 00:21:16,563
over us this whole time like he's
better than us.

459
00:21:16,583 --> 00:21:17,676
Well, you're not!

460
00:21:17,703 --> 00:21:19,460
And the rest of you can
sit there and do nothing

461
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,560
but I'm taking affirmative action.

462
00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:26,147
There's still more of us than there
are of you.

463
00:21:26,746 --> 00:21:28,363
No, there isn't.

464
00:21:28,519 --> 00:21:30,160
Excuse me.

465
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,160
Edith, what are you doing?

466
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,420
I think you're a bully,

467
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,780
and I don't think it's fair,
what you've been doing.

468
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,976
Look, look, look. I want another
vote.

469
00:21:40,996 --> 00:21:43,300
If the majority of people want to see
inside this bag,

470
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,336
then you can, and I won't stop you.

471
00:21:45,356 --> 00:21:47,080
Good, because I do.

472
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:51,060
Squash this little rebellion

473
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,140
and then prove that I'm right.

474
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,680
Gerald?

475
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,880
I agree.

476
00:22:03,333 --> 00:22:04,900
Elena?

477
00:22:08,903 --> 00:22:10,280
Sorry.

478
00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:15,346
And...

479
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,060
this gentleman?

480
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,700
Oh, my gosh, it's come all down to me.

481
00:22:27,870 --> 00:22:30,083
It's like Kramer Vs Kramer.

482
00:22:30,196 --> 00:22:32,080
Who do I choose?

483
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,020
Ickle, ockle, chocolate bottle, ickle,
ockle, out,

484
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,940
turn the dirty dishcloth inside out.

485
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,420
Everything's just a big fucking
joke to you, isn't it, Jonathan?

486
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,970
Um, pretty much, yeah.

487
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:45,980
You can't see through all those fake
lashes and mascara

488
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,643
that here, in the real world,

489
00:22:47,663 --> 00:22:50,020
there is injustice happening
everywhere you look.

490
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,123
And if you thought about anybody else
but yourself

491
00:22:52,143 --> 00:22:54,169
for at least 30 seconds, you'd realise
that!

492
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:57,420
Oh, I know all about the
real world, Cleopatra, darling.

493
00:22:58,290 --> 00:23:00,500
I've been laughed at, beaten up,

494
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,783
had dog shit pushed through my
letterbox.

495
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,320
There's no need to
tell me about injustice.

496
00:23:06,926 --> 00:23:10,596
And if I want to paint my face and
lip-sync to Lady Gaga,

497
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,169
then that's just my way
of dealing with it, all right?

498
00:23:13,376 --> 00:23:14,623
Just like yours

499
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,133
is rebelling against your posh-as-fuck
upbringing

500
00:23:17,153 --> 00:23:20,060
by getting a little nose-ring and
tottering after me

501
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,880
like the ghastly little fag hag that
you are.

502
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,400
I'm with you, Daddy.

503
00:23:33,887 --> 00:23:35,830
When did you get so mean?

504
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,120
Blessed are the mean,

505
00:23:39,537 --> 00:23:42,307
for they will inherit the earth.

506
00:23:45,212 --> 00:23:50,203
Blessed are those who hunger and
thirst after righteousness,

507
00:23:50,590 --> 00:23:52,620
for they will be killed.

508
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,100
Hey, you can look inside now.

509
00:23:56,836 --> 00:23:59,220
Blessed are the merciful,

510
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:03,060
for they will be shown no mercy.

511
00:24:03,287 --> 00:24:04,780
What is this?

512
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,520
Blessed are the pure in heart...

513
00:24:10,239 --> 00:24:13,040
for they will see...

514
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,800
God!

515
00:24:29,586 --> 00:24:31,126
What the fuck?

516
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:32,520
Gerry?

517
00:24:36,786 --> 00:24:39,060
Put them on. You've got about 20
seconds.

518
00:24:41,766 --> 00:24:43,786
Harold and I don't need them.

519
00:24:44,383 --> 00:24:46,216
What's happening, Gerry?

520
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:49,120
It's all right, Edie. Deep breaths.

521
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,040
It doesn't hurt.

522
00:25:10,420 --> 00:25:11,920
- Gerry!
- Help us!

523
00:25:11,941 --> 00:25:13,201
Help us!

524
00:25:13,519 --> 00:25:15,079
Help!

525
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,306
Gerry!

526
00:25:23,746 --> 00:25:24,986
Gerry!

527
00:25:43,513 --> 00:25:45,893
Sorry about the inconvenience.

528
00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:48,660
The purse was just
an inciting incident.

529
00:25:48,867 --> 00:25:51,107
Oh, you can take
these off now. It's fine.

530
00:25:52,493 --> 00:25:53,693
It's fine.

531
00:25:54,846 --> 00:25:56,326
No hard feelings, eh?

532
00:25:57,386 --> 00:25:59,206
What's going on?

533
00:25:59,246 --> 00:26:02,240
Well, we implement this action from
time to time.

534
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,100
Swap out the disruptors,

535
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,270
anybody who challenges the status quo.

536
00:26:06,290 --> 00:26:08,700
But you all have
nothing to worry about.

537
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,340
What do you mean?

538
00:26:10,379 --> 00:26:11,919
Now, if you could just sign here.

539
00:26:12,003 --> 00:26:14,919
It just confirms that you
took no part in today's events

540
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:16,840
as they never actually happened.

541
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,663
Oh, and tick the box

542
00:26:20,687 --> 00:26:22,409
if you'd be interested in
helping us in the future.

543
00:26:22,430 --> 00:26:25,000
We really need people
like you, Elena, actually.

544
00:26:25,021 --> 00:26:26,780
People who don't get involved.

545
00:26:27,979 --> 00:26:29,283
Thanks.

546
00:26:29,326 --> 00:26:30,656
Great.

547
00:26:31,083 --> 00:26:33,000
What about these people?

548
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,700
Well, you can see them.

549
00:26:35,946 --> 00:26:37,826
They're right here.

550
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,020
Only now, like you...

551
00:26:41,406 --> 00:26:43,360
they wouldn't say boo to a goose.

552
00:26:43,913 --> 00:26:45,570
Isn't that right, Gerry?

553
00:26:46,033 --> 00:26:47,693
Oh, that's right, sir.

554
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:49,959
Great. Great.

555
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,510
We do apologise for the delay

556
00:26:54,567 --> 00:26:57,227
in your replacement service today.

557
00:26:57,248 --> 00:26:59,870
This was due to an
earlier disruption on the line

558
00:26:59,896 --> 00:27:02,020
which has now been rectified.

559
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,740
We do hope you have
a safe onwards journey.

560
00:27:07,199 --> 00:27:09,579
Hey, guys. Um, just three people today,

561
00:27:09,626 --> 00:27:11,070
two females and a male.

562
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,680
Yep, great.

563
00:27:23,387 --> 00:27:24,727
Edith?

564
00:27:24,906 --> 00:27:26,086
Yes?

565
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,283
When we get home,

566
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,623
shall we book to see Salad Days?

567
00:27:30,969 --> 00:27:33,206
Yes, I think we should.

568
00:27:33,330 --> 00:27:35,930
If you see something that doesn't
look right,

569
00:27:36,036 --> 00:27:39,180
speak to staff or text
British Transport Police

570
00:27:39,197 --> 00:27:41,260
on 61016

571
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,260
and we'll sort it.

572
00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:44,480
See it.

573
00:27:46,266 --> 00:27:47,856
Say it.

574
00:27:47,927 --> 00:27:49,376
Sorted.

575
00:28:03,883 --> 00:28:08,996
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