1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,380
Yeah, so sloth's climbing up Wall Three,

2
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:05,380
one of our most popular climbs.

3
00:00:05,430 --> 00:00:07,520
When did he start his ascent, last week?

4
00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:08,580
Over here.

5
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,290
Up there.

6
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,370
We had a kid's birthday party yesterday.

7
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,138
I think the petting zoo guy
must have forgotten him.

8
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,420
Oh, did they use Heavy Petters?

9
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,475
We get a lot of calls. Real
sloppy with their head count.

10
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,550
Oh, little dude's on the move.

11
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,340
He's getting cocky.

12
00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:24,060
Shred, strap me in.

13
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,690
Frank, let me flag this one more time.

14
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,390
Are you sure you don't want me to climb?

15
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:31,739
Shred, look at him.

16
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,617
I'm just worried about you
overdosing on cuteness

17
00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:35,230
and losing all your faculties.

18
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,480
I got this.

19
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,920
Hurry, Frank! I think
he's losing his grip!

20
00:00:39,950 --> 00:00:42,200
Mmhmm. The yelling helps.

21
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,660
Oh, yeah.

22
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:49,250
Hi, buddy. I'm Frank.

23
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:51,960
It's okay. Yeah, come on
over here nice and easy.

24
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:54,790
Oh, alright. Well, um...

25
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:58,300
- He likes the clip, Frank.
- Oh, look. It's shiny.

26
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,630
Okay, okay. No, no, no, no, no!

27
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:01,720
Ahhhhh!!!!!

28
00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,510
Are you okay?

29
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,030
Oh, yeah, yeah.

30
00:01:05,050 --> 00:01:07,100
The phone and keys broke my fall.

31
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,709
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --

32
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,700
- What are you giggling at?
- Teresa.

33
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,490
She sent me a video of her
getting knocked over by a wave.

34
00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:32,240
- She's very self-deprecating.
- Who's Teresa?

35
00:01:32,260 --> 00:01:33,427
One of the women I'm texting with.

36
00:01:33,428 --> 00:01:34,860
- One of the women?
- Yeah.

37
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,349
I joined a couple of those dating apps

38
00:01:36,350 --> 00:01:39,240
and maybe it's 'cause I posted a
picture of me with a baby giraffe

39
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:40,920
but I'm getting a lot of messages.

40
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:42,899
I feel like it was just a week
ago you were so heartbroken

41
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:45,550
over Emily you couldn't finish
your French toast sticks.

42
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,140
I'm done wallowing, Frank.
I'm done with it.

43
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:50,260
Man was not put on this Earth to wallow.

44
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:53,600
Hey, if you had a dazzling
text rapport with someone,

45
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,980
would you be willing to
travel to Bainbridge Island?

46
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,180
It's a long way away,
I have to take a ferry,

47
00:01:58,210 --> 00:01:59,860
but I think it makes a statement.

48
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:01,413
Well, it's a big opportunity
for her to meet

49
00:02:01,414 --> 00:02:03,400
the most exhausting
person on the planet.

50
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,030
Precinct 22 adoption update:

51
00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:08,000
we just found a home for the goat,

52
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,160
so that makes 68 pets this quarter.

53
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,870
Our kennels are officially empty.

54
00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:13,870
- Alright.
- Congratulations.

55
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,790
How many did Templeton's
broke ass precinct have?

56
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,500
As of this morning, 75.

57
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,348
Wait, so we don't have a
chance at the ping pong table?

58
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:21,670
There's only two days left.

59
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,080
Why did you present this as a win?

60
00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:25,860
Okay, well, we're second
in all of Seattle,

61
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:28,390
so we're going to get the pizza lunch.

62
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,799
But I don't want the pizza
lunch. I want the table.

63
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,259
Alright, well, it's not about winning,

64
00:02:31,260 --> 00:02:33,060
it's about the animals' well-being.

65
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,100
Oh, you think the animals
want Templeton to win?

66
00:02:35,130 --> 00:02:36,310
No, they want justice,

67
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,230
and justice is me winning that table.

68
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,970
I mean us, the collective me.
I just wanna play ping pong!

69
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,020
Okay, bye, Frank.

70
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,749
Thank you for contacting

71
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:47,170
US Citizenship and Immigration Services.

72
00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:49,870
Your call will be answered
by the next available agent.

73
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:53,620
Yes, I know, because
you've told me 700 times.

74
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,410
- Don't. Don't you dare.
- It's catchy.

75
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:57,511
- I like this part.
- Stop.

76
00:02:57,512 --> 00:02:58,920
Is that a French horn?

77
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,209
All units: Police requesting back-up

78
00:03:01,210 --> 00:03:02,900
at 146 Broadway.

79
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,339
It's a French horn. Truck 8 responding.

80
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,070
Thank you for contacting

81
00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:08,760
US Citizenship and Immigration Services.

82
00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:11,120
This is torture! I just
need a green card!

83
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,100
Why are you making this so difficult?

84
00:03:13,152 --> 00:03:14,940
Don't.

85
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:19,940
Hey, Officers Flea and Tick.

86
00:03:19,990 --> 00:03:22,260
Oh, my God, you are so funny.

87
00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,139
Those improv classes are
really paying off, Jimmy.

88
00:03:24,140 --> 00:03:26,710
- What've we got?
- Hoarder died alone.

89
00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:27,830
A lot of toasters.

90
00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,860
- A lot of cats.
- How many cats?

91
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,600
I don't know, man. Like 400?

92
00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:33,129
They wouldn't stay
still for a head count.

93
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,440
They're all gonna need homes.

94
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:36,419
You know what else needs a
home? That ping pong table.

95
00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:37,750
- Up top, Shred.
- Yep.

96
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,000
Alright, let's go, guys.

97
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:42,950
Hi.

98
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,890
Ewww, this place freaks me out.

99
00:03:45,940 --> 00:03:47,049
Yeah, I don't wanna toot my own horn,

100
00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:48,103
but this is exactly what I thought

101
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,120
a hoarder's house would smell like.

102
00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:52,010
Classic Frank boast.
No way to verify it.

103
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,890
Just breathe in.

104
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,170
Don't do that!

105
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,260
Sorry. Who keeps a headless mannequin

106
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,710
- in a hallway, dude?
- What?

107
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,649
There are dozens of jars
of urine in the other room

108
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:05,700
and this gives you pause?

109
00:04:05,730 --> 00:04:08,470
Guys, remember that
hoarding is a disease

110
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,910
according to this pamphlet I found

111
00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:11,700
in a pile of pamphlets about hoarding.

112
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,530
Don't!

113
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,280
That is not cool!

114
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,330
- Dude.
- What?

115
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:17,399
Just 'cause an old lady died here

116
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:18,609
doesn't mean we can't have a little fun.

117
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:19,940
Can anyone else hear that music?

118
00:04:19,970 --> 00:04:22,740
I can't tell whether it's real
or whether it's in my head.

119
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,320
I totally hear it.

120
00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:25,670
'Cause it's music playing, guys.

121
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,770
Hello?

122
00:04:27,820 --> 00:04:29,280
Is anybody home?

123
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,600
Well, I hope you guys feel silly.

124
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,610
What is it?! Is it undead?

125
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,570
Away demon! Off! Get it off!

126
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,550
I think we just added
to the urine smell.

127
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,650
Get it off!

128
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,200
Too bad she didn't hoard
cleaning products.

129
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,060
Sure, it's got a bit of
deferred maintenance,

130
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,900
every surface is sticky,
but it's got good bones.

131
00:04:57,940 --> 00:05:00,200
A savvy investor could come
in here and make a killing.

132
00:05:00,260 --> 00:05:02,690
Look at this. That's original red oak.

133
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:03,760
Right.

134
00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,130
Is that a working fireplace?

135
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,480
Ooh, I just got confirmation
from Bainbridge Island.

136
00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,950
I'm now fully booked for the week.

137
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,519
Like, you gotta get on one
of these apps, Frank.

138
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,340
Dating apps are for losers.

139
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,090
I get heaps of action from those apps.

140
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,640
Dating apps are for losers
and illegal aliens.

141
00:05:17,690 --> 00:05:19,750
- Oh, burn.
- Let's get these cats out of here

142
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,140
- and go win a ping pong table.
- Yeah, working!

143
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,300
Maybe I should invest.

144
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:24,739
I think you're changing the subject.

145
00:05:24,740 --> 00:05:27,770
The subject was and always will
be ping pong. You changed it.

146
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:29,760
Yeah, but I've known
you a year and a half,

147
00:05:29,790 --> 00:05:31,240
you've never been in a relationship,

148
00:05:31,270 --> 00:05:32,360
I just think it's weird.

149
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,200
Look, I got ghosted by
the same woman twice.

150
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,570
And my dentist, also a woman,
she keeps rescheduling,

151
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:37,879
so I'm just gonna take the spring off.

152
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,080
Frank, you're not getting any younger.

153
00:05:40,130 --> 00:05:41,570
And don't you wanna meet a nice lady

154
00:05:41,580 --> 00:05:43,370
who can help you get
on and off the toilet?

155
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,689
Yeah, you know, one more comment
like that and I'm calling ICE.

156
00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:46,939
I'm just saying you have to be careful,

157
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:49,290
because this situation could be you.

158
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:52,470
Lonely, tall man, dies
surrounded by his cats.

159
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,130
- Okay.
- I think it might already be too late.

160
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,100
My legs are so well-defined
they think it's a scratching post.

161
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,200
Sure.

162
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,400
Alright everybody, listen up.

163
00:06:11,455 --> 00:06:14,190
We have been given a
gift with these cats.

164
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,820
A screeching, clawing
gift from the gods.

165
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,660
What is going on with these phones?

166
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,320
Immigration.

167
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:22,870
That is a French horn, right?

168
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,410
What's your excuse?

169
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,450
Bainbridge Island fell out
and I have to fill her slot.

170
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,970
Let me rephrase that.

171
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,660
Frank, is now a good
time to speak to you

172
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,460
about an investment opportunity?

173
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,130
- No.
- Because I am on Zillow right now,

174
00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:35,330
excellent school district,

175
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,949
it practically sells itself
to a young family,

176
00:06:36,950 --> 00:06:39,470
not to mention a peekaboo
view of the Space Needle.

177
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,189
I wouldn't even go in on
a bag of M&M's with you,

178
00:06:41,190 --> 00:06:43,640
let alone a hoarder's house.
We need to focus.

179
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,410
There is a ping pong table at stake.

180
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,520
Sure, I could just buy one,
but it's not about that.

181
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,050
It's about beating Templeton.

182
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,650
So we have until end of business Friday

183
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:52,849
to get this product out the door.

184
00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:54,980
Okay, Frank, just a reminder
they're neglected cats,

185
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:57,320
not product, and it's, you
know, less about speed,

186
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,200
more about finding them
good, loving homes.

187
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,720
Totally. Three of them are siblings.

188
00:07:00,770 --> 00:07:03,210
So we could probably put
those into one package

189
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,950
and that would leave us just ten units.

190
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,250
Officer Dudge approaching,

191
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,269
- should I deny entry?
- Yeah.

192
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:09,250
- Yes.
- No, it's fine, Bettany.

193
00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,010
Okay, not sure if you heard,
we unloaded the beagle

194
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,960
with the infected anal glands.

195
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,480
So next question:
deep dish or thin crust?

196
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,830
I'm not hungry now after hearing
about that beagle situation.

197
00:07:19,850 --> 00:07:22,010
That ping pong table is gonna fit nicely

198
00:07:22,060 --> 00:07:26,140
next to the Sno-Cone machine
we won last quarter,

199
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:29,320
and at some point, Emily,
this is about your leadership.

200
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:30,400
Or lack thereof.

201
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,244
Okay, you're not gonna make me
feel bad about this, Templeton.

202
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,310
I might.

203
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,662
And you're awfully quiet, Frank.

204
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,103
Don't worry, I'm screaming plenty
of things at you in my head.

205
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,690
There's that snark, that wry smile.
Alright, backhand, slice.

206
00:07:43,450 --> 00:07:44,506
Bye.

207
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:49,230
- All clear.
- Okay, we're changing tactics.

208
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:50,250
We're gonna win.

209
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:53,390
I am so sick of that jerk just
always gunning for my job

210
00:07:53,410 --> 00:07:57,260
and I need to wipe the smug
little smile off of his face.

211
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,090
I like petty, competitive Emily.

212
00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:01,630
Yeah, she's sexy.
A little bit naughty, even.

213
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,600
And I'm not allowed to
say this stuff at work,

214
00:08:03,630 --> 00:08:04,930
so maybe I'll get disciplined.

215
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,560
I'm really sorry about that,
I-I've switched birth control,

216
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,750
so I'm feeling a bit crazy.

217
00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:11,110
Okay, we need a plan.

218
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,440
I think we all know what we have to do.

219
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,520
Oh, here we go.

220
00:08:14,578 --> 00:08:16,050
- Any excuse.
- Love it.

221
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,260
- She loves it.
- Love it.

222
00:08:17,290 --> 00:08:18,457
I'm sorry, what do we have to do?

223
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:20,110
We have to dress the cats up

224
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,660
and put pictures of them on our website.

225
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,960
And I should probably be in
charge of costume theme.

226
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,279
We're not doing the
Jane Austen thing again.

227
00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,830
Why not? It was so cute.

228
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,100
The lizard in the bonnet
sat there for five months.

229
00:08:30,150 --> 00:08:31,880
And two of those months it was dead.

230
00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,130
- But it was cute.
- Okay,

231
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,340
I am gonna pull rank that I don't have.

232
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,650
Wild West theme, everybody.

233
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:37,740
Sheriffs, cowboys,

234
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,220
- maybe a little bordello.
- Yes!

235
00:08:39,250 --> 00:08:40,999
- That is what we're doing.
- I love the wild west.

236
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,090
Yosemite Sam was always
my favorite Loony Toon.

237
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,523
Everybody knows that
Bugs Bunny was the best.

238
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,817
I'm not having this argument again.

239
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,220
- Pepe LePew?
- Cancelled.

240
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:49,600
- Always ignored.
- No. Okay.

241
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:53,090
I can work with Wild West,
I'm seeing lots of cotton bloomers

242
00:08:53,146 --> 00:08:56,110
and bolo ties, so you two,
I need you on art supplies.

243
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,210
I need you two on
teeny-tiny cat costumes.

244
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,900
Okay. We need to make these
cats as adorable as possible

245
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:01,969
- as fast as possible.
- Yeah.

246
00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,730
- Let's go, everybody. Let's go.
- Right now?

247
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:05,160
Claws become features.

248
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,940
The three-legged cat needs
to have a Civil War costume,

249
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,540
give him a back story. Let's go!

250
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:12,460
Bainbridge Island is back in!

251
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,130
Uh, don't use office hours
for trivial nonsense.

252
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:17,290
You're supposed to be
ordering tiny cowboy hats.

253
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:19,120
I don't know if I can trust her now.

254
00:09:19,170 --> 00:09:21,630
I'm gonna double book a date
just so I have a back-up plan.

255
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:23,854
Shred, I don't wanna get
involved in your emotional life,

256
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,970
I've been consistent
and unwavering in that,

257
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,010
but you seem a little
nuts with the dating.

258
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,070
Oh, you and my mother.

259
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:31,110
That's what she thinks,

260
00:09:31,130 --> 00:09:33,430
that I haven't processed
all my feelings for Emily.

261
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,600
Well, process this: boo hoo.

262
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:38,020
You know what? You and
your mom covered it.

263
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,820
I'm gonna tell you what I told her.

264
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,380
Don't clip my wings, Mom.

265
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:42,640
I'm flying into a world

266
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:46,590
of unknown romantic slash
sexual opportunities.

267
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:49,028
Truck 12. Business owner
reporting missing animal.

268
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,130
3247 Kinley Street.

269
00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:53,080
Truck 12 responding,

270
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,420
Officer Shaw and his unhinged
passenger on their way.

271
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,630
Frank is a great guy.

272
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,379
I mean, if I had one
constructive criticism,

273
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:03,200
it would be that his
dreams, they're small.

274
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,340
Not like you and me.

275
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,630
Others see storm clouds,

276
00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,170
we see an opportunity

277
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:09,270
to invent the umbrella. We get it.

278
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,180
I'm not investing in
no disgusting house.

279
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,220
And if it's so great,
why don't you just buy it?

280
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,509
Well, I've sunk a lot of liquidity

281
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,190
into children's piano lessons.

282
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,060
Oh, my gosh, I'm next in line.
This is very exciting.

283
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,530
I've been on hold for literally hours.

284
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,690
This is very unfortunate timing.

285
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,160
No!!!!

286
00:10:28,870 --> 00:10:29,920
Oh, boy.

287
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,410
A psychic who can't find their own pet.

288
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,700
It's gonna be hard for me
to be my best self in there.

289
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,590
So my monkey, Nirvana,

290
00:10:38,610 --> 00:10:41,140
she's the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain.

291
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,420
That's how she got her name.

292
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:43,860
Yeah, I put two and two together.

293
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,200
I got a little ESP of my own.

294
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,550
I know she's going to be okay
because I can see she's safe.

295
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,680
Wanna short cut this and
tell us where she is?

296
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,520
- It doesn't work like that.
- Of course not.

297
00:10:52,530 --> 00:10:55,120
Hey. We'll alert the authorities.

298
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,480
Well, actually, it's actually us.

299
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,900
But don't worry,
we will find your monkey.

300
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,360
You have a kind aura.

301
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,610
- Thanks.
- Yours is more turbulent.

302
00:11:02,650 --> 00:11:05,210
What gave it away? My overt hostility,

303
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,610
or that more than once I've
implied that you're a charlatan?

304
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:08,990
Hey, can I ask you something?

305
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:10,920
There's this girl on
Bainbridge Island...

306
00:11:10,940 --> 00:11:13,260
She's not worth it. Too far away.

307
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:15,620
Also, she's very indecisive.

308
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:19,440
Frank, she's good. Ask her something.

309
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,330
- No.
- Come on.

310
00:11:24,140 --> 00:11:25,559
Are we gonna win the ping pong table?

311
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,470
Seriously? You can ask me anything.

312
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,880
I can see into the future or
communicate with the dead.

313
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,730
Fine. Reach out to my dead mother

314
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,139
and ask her if she thinks we're
gonna win the ping pong table.

315
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:37,113
You're at a crossroads in life.

316
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,800
I can only see one path clearly

317
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,780
and it's a path of great loneliness.

318
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,820
Have you considered a dating app?

319
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:47,600
Just admit you don't know who's
gonna win the ping pong table.

320
00:11:47,650 --> 00:11:49,560
Ping pong is just a distraction.

321
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:53,100
Underneath you don't think there's
someone out there for you.

322
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,120
You've given up on love.

323
00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:56,750
I just got a chill.

324
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,803
That chill is because strip mall
medium here can't afford heat.

325
00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:02,180
And she lost an entire monkey.

326
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,170
- Alright, let's go.
- Thank you.

327
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,460
_

328
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,620
This bartender looks
like my uncle Jimmy.

329
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,930
Holy crap, I think it's working.

330
00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:14,590
- Getting a lot of likes.
- Really?

331
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,840
Here we go. Okay. Some family
wants to adopt Billy the Kitten

332
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:21,270
- and the hairless call girl.
- Yes!

333
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,884
Still no takers on the hairy call girl.

334
00:12:23,740 --> 00:12:24,750
- Emily?
- Hey.

335
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,579
Can I help you? I mean, you've
been going non-stop all day.

336
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,470
Um, yeah, actually could you hand me

337
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:30,880
that tiny little hang man's noose

338
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:32,300
for our cattle wrestler here?

339
00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:35,540
Wow, look at that. You've
got a real creative side.

340
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:36,840
Thanks.

341
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,439
Ever thought about working
on a bigger canvas?

342
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,480
No, I'm not investing
in your house, Patel.

343
00:12:40,530 --> 00:12:42,540
- I'm taking an early lunch.
- Okay.

344
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,950
Agent.

345
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,030
Agent.

346
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,040
I'm saying agent!

347
00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:50,260
Officer Dudge approaching.

348
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,220
This is pandering, whoring your pets.

349
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:53,760
- Emily's in her office.
- Okay.

350
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,026
This is pandering, whoring your pets.

351
00:12:56,027 --> 00:12:57,900
I've already registered
my complaint online.

352
00:12:57,930 --> 00:13:01,120
- Wait, are you catdignity99?
- Yes, I am.

353
00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:04,120
'Cause someone has to speak
for those who have no voice.

354
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,709
Have you ever considered
a vow of silence

355
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,160
- in solidarity?
- Never.

356
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,220
Doesn't your supervisor ever
wonder where you are?

357
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,120
- Yeah.
- Oh, starting tomorrow

358
00:13:11,150 --> 00:13:13,290
he will be able to find me
at our new ping pong table.

359
00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,900
I don't know. I mean, you wouldn't
have come all this way

360
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:18,200
if you weren't a little
sweaty and nervous.

361
00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,859
You know I have a diminished thyroid,

362
00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:21,410
so that is workplace harassment.

363
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:23,830
I can't keep track of all
your shrinking body parts.

364
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,769
Why don't you make a complaint
to one of your cat forums?

365
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,850
Maybe I already did.

366
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:27,870
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.

367
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:29,500
Oh, what did it say?

368
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,134
Meow, meow, meow, meow,
meow, meow, meow, meow,

369
00:13:32,135 --> 00:13:34,064
- meow, meow, he was mean to me.
- Okay. Yeah.

370
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,520
- Hey, Shred.
- Hey, what's up?

371
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,120
Hey, yo, how come you haven't
asked me to invest yet?

372
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:42,950
Ah, you're a young kid, man.

373
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,229
You don't have that kind of extra dough.

374
00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:45,880
I mean, you know I had a lot of sponsors

375
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:47,202
when I was a snowboarder, right?

376
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,160
Really?

377
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,320
Wait, so would you be
interested in investing?

378
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,150
Oh, I wish I could.

379
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,100
Of course you just build me
up just to cut me down, huh?

380
00:13:56,140 --> 00:13:58,280
Dude, I don't have time for
side projects right now.

381
00:13:58,310 --> 00:13:59,490
I'm dating non-stop.

382
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,070
Let me take you by after work,

383
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,000
you see the neighborhood
at night, no commitment.

384
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,330
Alright, yeah.

385
00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:08,460
I'm always looking for ways
to expand my portfolio.

386
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,710
Yeah. That's it. Portfolio?

387
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,490
I'm not worried. We're leading by six

388
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,280
and closing time is fast approaching.

389
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:15,519
Oh, boom.

390
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,480
Found a home for the labradoodle.

391
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:19,300
Well, I wouldn't get too confident

392
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,760
because boom, just found a home

393
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,020
for Fluffy Frontier Pharmacist.

394
00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,440
That was a picture of a cappuccino.

395
00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:29,379
We will find a home for
Fluffy Frontier Pharmacists!

396
00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:31,663
And all of the citizens of Cat Town.

397
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,680
Feels very desperate, people.
Very desperate.

398
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,530
That's an ace.

399
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:38,600
That's a slice.

400
00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,990
Put a freaking agent on the phone.

401
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,080
Bam!

402
00:14:49,140 --> 00:14:51,680
Look at this. Sycamore lined streets,

403
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,380
I mean, this place just
has all the intangibles.

404
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:58,050
Oof, there she is, right in
the middle of the block.

405
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,720
What're all those people doing there?

406
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:02,160
Is that an open house?
That's not in the MLS.

407
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,770
You think they're
doing a pocket listing?

408
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:07,440
Look at those beams.

409
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,810
Welcome, I'm Ben.

410
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,650
- Ah, you must be the listing agent.
- Hi.

411
00:15:10,700 --> 00:15:12,400
Uh, no. I'm Audrey's son.

412
00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,430
So help yourself to some food

413
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,900
and the rabbi will begin
prayers in a few minutes.

414
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,320
Oh.

415
00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,340
There's been a huge misunderstanding.

416
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,800
I'm so sorry, we thought
this was an open house.

417
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,660
I am so sorry for your loss.

418
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,900
- That is just devastating.
- Yeah.

419
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,910
But in regards to the house,

420
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:32,400
have you guys come up
with an asking price?

421
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,680
Not that there's...
that's not for today.

422
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:40,510
No, today is about your mother.
We're... um, we're gonna...

423
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,520
Wait. Don't go.

424
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:44,930
My mother didn't have many friends

425
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,840
and we need ten people for a minion.

426
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,340
Please be seated.

427
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,880
This house is great for entertaining.

428
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,680
Ten in the living room, no problem?

429
00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:11,960
We come in low, but we come in fast.

430
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,010
Hello, Templeton.
Are you calling to concede?

431
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,650
I know you cheated.
We were up by three at 4:45.

432
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,500
That ping pong table
should be ours, Frank!

433
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,640
What can I tell ya?

434
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,730
An animal lover came in
right before the bell.

435
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,500
But you still got that
pizza lunch, right?

436
00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:28,410
What is it, two medium
pies for 30 people?

437
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,280
That sounds like fun.
Enjoy the stampede.

438
00:16:30,330 --> 00:16:32,140
I'm launching a formal investiga...

439
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:37,220
Alright, guys, let's not get
too comfortable, okay?

440
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,560
This isn't permanent.

441
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,530
You're leaving when we
find you new homes.

442
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,310
Except for you, Doc Whiskers.
Obviously you're staying.

443
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,330
Because I love you,

444
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,740
and I've always loved you. I sure do.

445
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,008
Hey, what do you ladies
wanna watch, huh?

446
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,170
What's happening to me?

447
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:58,880
I can't talk, I'm on hold.

448
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,970
Mock me all you want, I need your help.

449
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,772
I need you to get me
on those dating apps.

450
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,450
- Aren't those for losers?
- Oh, absolutely.

451
00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:06,859
And I am ready to join their ranks.

452
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,140
I'll be right there.

453
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:12,860
I know.

454
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:15,700
I was so embarrassed, you know?

455
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,379
And then my mom came to
pick me up from school

456
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:19,210
with a brand new baseball glove.

457
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,160
Which she probably has in
the basement somewhere

458
00:17:21,210 --> 00:17:23,090
along with every pair of
cleats I've ever owned.

459
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:26,490
She has a hard time
letting go of things.

460
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:31,290
Now I'm having a hard
time letting go of her.

461
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:33,530
Thank you, Ben. That was beautiful.

462
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:34,830
Beautiful.

463
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,540
Would anyone else like to share?

464
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,560
I would.

465
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,800
What?

466
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:44,250
Uh, being with all of you
has made me very aware

467
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:46,023
of how hard it is to
lose someone you love.

468
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,050
To know that you can never be together.

469
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,700
To know that your life
is forever changed.

470
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,440
To know that she's
with someone else now.

471
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,310
And the odds of finding
somebody with a radiant beauty

472
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:59,660
that likes dressing cats
in adorable outfits

473
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,300
is pretty much zero.

474
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:05,320
And I've been running from
my feelings for a while,

475
00:18:05,430 --> 00:18:08,990
but the truth is I'm just
really, really sad.

476
00:18:10,170 --> 00:18:11,240
I'm sad.

477
00:18:16,780 --> 00:18:17,920
Thank you.

478
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,220
You save animals for a living.

479
00:18:21,270 --> 00:18:23,270
I... I don't understand
why you're fighting it.

480
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,440
I think most women would
find that very appealing.

481
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,510
There's so much more to me than that.

482
00:18:27,550 --> 00:18:29,350
I'm a deep thinker.

483
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,100
I'm a graduate of the school of life.

484
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,770
Do you wanna add celibate to the list?

485
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:35,380
Look, it's very simple, Frank.

486
00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,600
You are six foot four,
you don't have kids,

487
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,160
you save animals for a living.

488
00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:42,480
It wouldn't hurt to mention
your shoe size, they look big.

489
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:45,180
Can you at least add that I'm a
bourbon and scotch enthusiast?

490
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,280
Yeah, sure. Drinks too much.

491
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:48,349
Why don't we just lead with that?

492
00:18:48,350 --> 00:18:49,699
Alright, just say whatever you want.

493
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,160
But don't use the photo of
me and the baby giraffe.

494
00:18:52,210 --> 00:18:53,790
Oh, it's good actually.

495
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,330
Yeah, my hair looked good that day.

496
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,620
Vain.

497
00:18:57,690 --> 00:18:59,950
You alright? You got pretty
emotional in there.

498
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:02,070
Yeah. I mean, you probably already know,

499
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,550
but I'm having some
trouble getting over Emily.

500
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:06,220
Totally. Emily.

501
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,090
- Honestly, I did not know that.
- Really?

502
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,150
Yeah, you'd be surprised at
how self-centered I can be.

503
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,690
Oh. Well, yeah. I guess I thought
I was ready to start dating,

504
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,620
but I'm just not, man.

505
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:19,270
You'll get there, buddy.

506
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,680
Thanks.

507
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,820
- You know what might be nice?
- Hmm?

508
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,140
Just throw yourself into a project.

509
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,450
Something with incredible
upside potential.

510
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,070
You really are self-centered.

511
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,130
You have no idea.

512
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:32,160
But why do you want this
house so bad, anyway?

513
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,490
Well, Maya is in bed rest,
my kids are monsters,

514
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,320
I want something that's mine.

515
00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:38,330
- I get that, man.
- Yeah.

516
00:19:38,390 --> 00:19:40,420
I need something that's mine, too.

517
00:19:41,470 --> 00:19:42,500
Let's do it.

518
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,460
Really?

519
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,760
Yeah, dude. Let's, like,
let's actually do it.

520
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:48,980
- Are you... ?
- I'm serious.

521
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,260
- No, let's be, like, real estate tycoons.
- Yes!

522
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,160
- Yes! Let's run this town, baby!
- Yeah, dude!

523
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,350
It'll be... Wait.

524
00:19:56,360 --> 00:20:00,420
Hey, whoa, in that tree,
is that a... is that a monkey?

525
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,620
Okay, are you ready to
unleash your manhood

526
00:20:04,630 --> 00:20:05,661
on the greater Seattle area?

527
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,229
What the hell app did
you sign me up for?

528
00:20:07,230 --> 00:20:08,540
Too late, we're live.

529
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:11,820
I hope you meet someone great.

530
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,490
I don't have a very good track record.

531
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:14,830
No, neither do I.

532
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,400
But I'm a lot younger than you,
so I feel like I've got time.

533
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,699
Citizenship and Immigration,
what can I do for you?

534
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:22,960
Oh, my God!

535
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:24,900
No way! It's a real live actual person!

536
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:28,820
Hello. Sorry, um, I just...
uh, I have questions

537
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,340
about, uh, the application process.

538
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:33,459
Hold on, let me transfer
you to that department.

539
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,940
Wait, no. Do not put me on hold...

540
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,770
I hate your country!

541
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,960
Hello, applications?

542
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:42,089
- That was really quick.
- Hello?

543
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,240
Hang on, I'm coming!

544
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:44,510
- Hello?
- Just wait.

545
00:20:44,530 --> 00:20:46,820
Wait a hot minute,
I just have to find you.

546
00:20:46,850 --> 00:20:48,623
- I'm coming. Do not hang up.
- Hello?

547
00:20:48,624 --> 00:20:51,100
Do not hang up! Do not hang up!

548
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:55,940
Hey, I've already gotten two matches.

549
00:20:56,580 --> 00:20:58,240
Ah, one's a cousin.

550
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,530
- Officer Taylor?
- I found your little friend.

551
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,300
That's not my monkey.

552
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,090
I knew this was going to happen.

553
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:17,140
Ladies and gentlemen, may I
present to you Lady Monkeyton.

554
00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,119
She's totally getting adopted.

555
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,520
She's so aristocratic.

556
00:21:20,571 --> 00:21:22,119
It's hard to believe that
just five minutes ago

557
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,640
she was throwing her own feces.

558
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:25,949
Alright, who wants to play ping pong?

559
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:27,399
- I'll play ping pong.
- Let's go.

560
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,580
Yes.

561
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:34,060
Lady Monkeyton, you are the
most beautiful eligible monkey

562
00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:36,070
in all of the land.

563
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,040
You might get a proposal soon.

564
00:21:39,100 --> 00:21:42,880
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