1 00:00:42,253 --> 00:00:44,319 Welcome to Netflix. 2 00:00:44,353 --> 00:00:47,686 Last year, we approved 16 original shows and movies, 3 00:00:47,719 --> 00:00:52,653 and this year, it is our goal to make that number 1,087. 4 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:55,653 That's why we here at Netflix are thrilled to be working 5 00:00:55,686 --> 00:00:58,819 with you two comedy geniuses, Terrance and Phillip. 6 00:01:06,386 --> 00:01:07,819 Classic stuff. 7 00:01:07,853 --> 00:01:09,353 Now go ahead and pitch what you're thinking 8 00:01:09,386 --> 00:01:11,253 for your Netflix original series. 9 00:01:11,286 --> 00:01:14,486 Well, we were thinking that we'd do a show 10 00:01:14,519 --> 00:01:16,553 where Phillip and I are on a farm. 11 00:01:16,586 --> 00:01:18,453 With a cow. 12 00:01:18,486 --> 00:01:20,819 Okay, I love it so far. 13 00:01:20,853 --> 00:01:23,653 The sun is just starting to come up, and then... 14 00:01:23,686 --> 00:01:26,086 I fart on Phillip. 15 00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:30,753 And I say, "Terrance! You farted!" 16 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,486 And I... 17 00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:36,819 fart on Terrance. 18 00:01:36,853 --> 00:01:38,719 And then it's like a back and forth kind of thing? It's sort of like a ?? 19 00:01:38,753 --> 00:01:42,786 It's like a back and forth kind of thing. 20 00:01:42,819 --> 00:01:46,553 I fart on him. 21 00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:48,153 He... 22 00:01:48,186 --> 00:01:49,586 farts... 23 00:01:49,619 --> 00:01:50,853 on... 24 00:01:50,886 --> 00:01:52,219 On you. Got it. 25 00:01:52,253 --> 00:01:53,653 No! 26 00:01:53,686 --> 00:01:55,553 On the cow. 27 00:01:57,453 --> 00:02:00,719 Welcome to Netflix, you sons a bitches! Yeah! 28 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:03,786 Hooray. 29 00:02:10,586 --> 00:02:11,819 Come on, Tweek! Hurry! 30 00:02:11,853 --> 00:02:13,786 What's going on? 31 00:02:13,819 --> 00:02:17,086 Cartman and his girlfriend are fighting again! 32 00:02:20,653 --> 00:02:22,219 God damn it. 33 00:02:22,253 --> 00:02:23,453 Sweetheart! Piece of shit! 34 00:02:26,353 --> 00:02:27,819 Honey! I wanna watch "Terrance and Phillip" 35 00:02:27,853 --> 00:02:29,486 tonight with my friends! 36 00:02:29,519 --> 00:02:31,186 You promised we'd have a date night! 37 00:02:31,219 --> 00:02:33,153 Ugh! 38 00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,619 It's just one night, babe! 39 00:02:34,653 --> 00:02:35,786 Stan is having a viewing party, honey! 40 00:02:37,186 --> 00:02:38,553 So then why can't I come?! 41 00:02:38,586 --> 00:02:40,486 "Terrance and Phillip" is guys' night thing baby! 42 00:02:40,519 --> 00:02:41,819 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 43 00:02:41,853 --> 00:02:43,553 What the hell are you all doing?! 44 00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:45,186 Watching Heidi get her bitch?ass kicked! 45 00:02:45,219 --> 00:02:46,353 Fuck you, Wendy! 46 00:02:46,386 --> 00:02:47,653 Don't take that crap, Heidi! 47 00:02:47,686 --> 00:02:49,319 Let Cartman have it! 48 00:02:49,353 --> 00:02:52,186 Guys! Guys, this has gone on way too long! 49 00:02:52,219 --> 00:02:55,119 Can't we all stop being so mean to each other? 50 00:02:57,519 --> 00:02:59,353 Shut up, Kyle. You sound like your mom. 51 00:03:02,453 --> 00:03:04,186 That was awesome, baby. I love you. 52 00:03:04,219 --> 00:03:05,719 I love you, too, babe. 53 00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,553 Aww... Damn it. 54 00:03:07,586 --> 00:03:09,753 Fights over. Kyle ruined it! 55 00:03:14,219 --> 00:03:15,453 All right, everyone. Listen up. 56 00:03:15,486 --> 00:03:17,686 As you know, there has been a lot of bullying 57 00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,853 and insensitivity at our school. 58 00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:22,119 To counteract this, it is my firm belief 59 00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:23,653 that South Park Elementary 60 00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:26,519 is in desperate need of a strong woman. 61 00:03:26,553 --> 00:03:28,353 So in looking for a new vice principal, 62 00:03:28,386 --> 00:03:30,419 we wanted to find a powerful, intelligent, 63 00:03:30,453 --> 00:03:33,486 and independent female to be a role model for us all. 64 00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:34,786 And with that said, I'd like to introduce 65 00:03:34,819 --> 00:03:36,653 our new vice principal ?? Strong Woman. 66 00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:41,386 Thank you, PC Principal. 67 00:03:41,419 --> 00:03:43,153 All right, everyone. Listen up. 68 00:03:43,186 --> 00:03:44,786 I'm the new vice principal of the school. 69 00:03:44,819 --> 00:03:46,819 My name is Strong Woman. 70 00:03:46,853 --> 00:03:48,653 I've already spent a few days here at the school 71 00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,519 watching and observing, 72 00:03:50,553 --> 00:03:52,653 and we definitely have things we can all be working on. 73 00:03:52,686 --> 00:03:53,819 Hey! Stotch! 74 00:03:53,853 --> 00:03:55,419 You do not disrespect Strong Woman 75 00:03:55,453 --> 00:03:57,653 by talking when she's talking. 76 00:03:57,686 --> 00:03:59,619 You really think I couldn't have handled that myself? 77 00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:01,686 Oh! Uh, I was just making sure everything was ?? 78 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,086 You really had to grab the mic out of my hand like that? 79 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,486 Shit. I mean ?? No, sorry. Sorry, I'm not ?? 80 00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,219 Uh, here you go. 81 00:04:07,253 --> 00:04:08,519 I want the girls here at this school 82 00:04:08,553 --> 00:04:10,219 to know that they can talk to me about anything. 83 00:04:10,253 --> 00:04:11,653 But I also want the boys to know 84 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:14,119 that what I'm looking for is a better place for everybody. 85 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,453 Turning this school around 86 00:04:15,486 --> 00:04:16,686 is going to take work from everyone. 87 00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:19,486 From everyone. 88 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:22,186 I'm sorry. Am I not doing this correctly? 89 00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:25,653 No. No. Sorry! I thought I'd add ?? Just add for emphasis. 90 00:04:25,686 --> 00:04:29,219 You felt it wasn't strong enough, me saying it? 91 00:04:29,253 --> 00:04:33,086 No, I'm ?? Uh, I'm sorry. 92 00:04:33,119 --> 00:04:35,153 I'm looking forward to being your vice principal. 93 00:04:35,186 --> 00:04:37,686 And I'm looking forward to turning this school around. 94 00:04:37,719 --> 00:04:38,786 All right. Now, if we have any que?? 95 00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,519 I'm not finished. 96 00:04:40,553 --> 00:04:41,819 Right! Oh, I'm sorry. 97 00:04:41,853 --> 00:04:43,786 Pay attention, everybody! 98 00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:50,486 It's "The Terrance & Phillip Show!" 99 00:04:50,519 --> 00:04:51,819 On Netflix. 100 00:04:54,853 --> 00:04:56,686 Hey, Terrance! 101 00:04:56,719 --> 00:05:01,386 What did the black lawyer say to the Muslim priest? 102 00:05:01,419 --> 00:05:04,419 I don't know, Phillip. What? 103 00:05:18,353 --> 00:05:21,253 Come in! 104 00:05:21,286 --> 00:05:23,386 Did we miss it? It's just starting. 105 00:05:23,419 --> 00:05:25,186 Oh, look, honey ?? Kyle's mom is here! 106 00:05:25,219 --> 00:05:26,686 Shouldn't you be at Temple, Ms. Broflovski? 107 00:05:29,186 --> 00:05:30,553 Hola. 108 00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:32,719 Would you like to buy some chimichangas? 109 00:05:32,753 --> 00:05:34,653 Sí, mi amigo! 110 00:05:34,686 --> 00:05:37,486 Here. I'll give you two pesos. 111 00:05:42,353 --> 00:05:44,119 Dude, that's awesome! 112 00:05:47,186 --> 00:05:48,719 Wha?What's wrong, dude? 113 00:05:48,753 --> 00:05:50,319 For the first time, I feel kinda bad 114 00:05:50,353 --> 00:05:52,586 for the person being farted on. 115 00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,486 Ohp. Kyle's mom doesn't like the cartoon, guys. 116 00:05:54,519 --> 00:05:57,619 Better shut it off. 117 00:05:57,653 --> 00:06:00,319 Baby, I fucking love you so much. 118 00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:05,386 All right, everyone. Listen up. 119 00:06:05,419 --> 00:06:07,386 As you all know, we've been looking for a strong woman 120 00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:09,753 to take on the roll of vice principal at this school. 121 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,719 We couldn't be happier with the selection we've made, 122 00:06:11,753 --> 00:06:14,353 and we're sure she'll be making our school a better place. 123 00:06:14,386 --> 00:06:16,486 So with that, let me turn over the floor 124 00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:18,653 to our new vice principal ?? Strong Woman. 125 00:06:21,286 --> 00:06:23,386 Thanks, everyone. All right. Listen up. 126 00:06:23,419 --> 00:06:24,686 I fully appreciate that some of you 127 00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,719 might be uncomfortable with me being here. 128 00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:28,853 Earlier today, I noticed that some faculty 129 00:06:28,886 --> 00:06:32,386 weren't sure whether to call me Miss Woman or just Strong. 130 00:06:32,419 --> 00:06:33,853 If I were a man, you'd probably address me 131 00:06:33,886 --> 00:06:35,653 as Vice Principal Woman, 132 00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,153 so why would it should it be any different, huh? 133 00:06:37,186 --> 00:06:40,253 We good? M'kay. 134 00:06:40,286 --> 00:06:42,186 So I've been getting to know some of the students here, 135 00:06:42,219 --> 00:06:43,486 and I'm definitely hearing 136 00:06:43,519 --> 00:06:45,253 a lot of frustration and confusion 137 00:06:45,286 --> 00:06:47,419 over issues that all the schools are facing right now. 138 00:06:47,453 --> 00:06:49,819 I also spent some time observing in the cafeteria 139 00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:51,519 and was pretty shocked by the abusive and intolerant language. 140 00:06:52,753 --> 00:06:55,353 Not sure if any of you have noticed, 141 00:06:55,386 --> 00:06:57,653 ? With a little love ? but a lot of the girls are eating their lunches 142 00:06:57,686 --> 00:06:59,086 ? And some tenderness ? out on the playground to avoid being around 143 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,319 the toxic environment that's been created. 144 00:07:01,353 --> 00:07:04,186 ? We'll walk upon the water ? It's my intention to make the cafeteria... 145 00:07:04,219 --> 00:07:07,086 ? We'll rise above the mess ? 146 00:07:07,119 --> 00:07:09,686 ? With a little peace ? P.E. class is another huge problem at this school. 147 00:07:09,719 --> 00:07:13,386 ? And some harmony ? The girls' gym outfits... 148 00:07:13,419 --> 00:07:15,186 ? We'll take the world together ? ...seem not to have been updated since the '60s. 149 00:07:15,219 --> 00:07:17,153 We have a lot of work to do here, I intend to do it quickly. 150 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,686 Excuse me. I?I'm sorry, 151 00:07:18,719 --> 00:07:21,719 but, uh, is anyone else hearing Hootie and the Blowfish 152 00:07:21,753 --> 00:07:23,619 like very, very softly? 153 00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,686 ? 'Cause I wanna run with you ? 154 00:07:25,719 --> 00:07:27,319 Yeah, yeah. I hear it. 155 00:07:27,353 --> 00:07:30,386 It's ? It's coming from over here somewhere. 156 00:07:30,419 --> 00:07:32,486 Excuse me, everyone. I, um ?? I need to get to the restroom. 157 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,653 Sorry. I'll be right back. 158 00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:46,819 Hold on, hold on. Over here. Over here. 159 00:07:58,419 --> 00:07:59,653 Join together, let no man ?? 160 00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:01,186 Ugh! 161 00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:21,386 That's it. That's it, Kyle. 162 00:08:33,619 --> 00:08:35,853 No more. 163 00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:40,319 No more of them doody jokes. 164 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,686 No more watching cartoons of people ?? 165 00:08:42,719 --> 00:08:46,486 people having to go doody, 166 00:08:46,519 --> 00:08:49,786 and poo?pooing on each other's heads. 167 00:08:49,819 --> 00:08:52,219 It's not funny anymore, is it, Kyle? 168 00:09:01,286 --> 00:09:02,286 ? With a little love ? 169 00:09:04,186 --> 00:09:05,719 ? And some tenderness ? 170 00:09:07,586 --> 00:09:10,553 ? We'll walk upon the water ? 171 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,386 Hello there, Mister... 172 00:09:14,419 --> 00:09:15,553 Principal, is it? 173 00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:17,386 That's right. I'm PC Principal. 174 00:09:17,419 --> 00:09:18,819 What's bringing you in today? 175 00:09:18,853 --> 00:09:21,553 I'm, uh, having this problem with my ears. 176 00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:24,386 There's like a persistent kind of a...ringing going on. 177 00:09:24,419 --> 00:09:27,319 Okay. Can you describe the ringing? 178 00:09:27,353 --> 00:09:29,619 It's, uh, Hootie and the Blowfish. 179 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:31,519 You're hearing a song? 180 00:09:31,553 --> 00:09:34,319 Yeah, um, there's a new woman 181 00:09:34,353 --> 00:09:36,786 that has joined our faculty. Her name is Strong Woman. 182 00:09:36,819 --> 00:09:38,419 And, uh, she seems to have set off 183 00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,253 some kind of device in my ears. 184 00:09:40,286 --> 00:09:43,253 So, maybe you're having some feelings for her. 185 00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:45,186 No, that couldn't be it. We work in the same place, 186 00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:46,786 so it'd be impossible for me to like her. 187 00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:49,219 I'm thinking there must be some kind of device in my ears. 188 00:09:49,253 --> 00:09:50,853 Well, I looked, 189 00:09:50,886 --> 00:09:53,653 and Hootie and the Blowfish aren't in your ears. 190 00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:57,353 I believe your hearing them in your mind and your heart. 191 00:09:57,386 --> 00:09:59,486 Oh. dude. 192 00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:01,086 Bro. 193 00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:15,519 You may enter. 194 00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:16,853 Vice Principal Woman? 195 00:10:16,886 --> 00:10:19,553 Yes? What can I do for you? 196 00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,219 My name's Kyle, 197 00:10:21,253 --> 00:10:23,219 and I've been doing a lot of changing lately. 198 00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:25,486 I came because I might be able to offer some... 199 00:10:25,519 --> 00:10:27,153 insight into our problems here. 200 00:10:27,186 --> 00:10:29,219 Please. By all means. 201 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,586 You see, there's a culture at this school 202 00:10:31,619 --> 00:10:33,419 that embraces meanness, 203 00:10:33,453 --> 00:10:36,153 and I believe now it comes from a Canadian TV show. 204 00:10:36,186 --> 00:10:38,319 All the boys watch it. I did, too. 205 00:10:38,353 --> 00:10:40,153 We all laughed while they... 206 00:10:40,186 --> 00:10:42,286 farted on innocent people's heads. 207 00:10:42,319 --> 00:10:43,719 The thing is... 208 00:10:43,753 --> 00:10:45,786 I never felt for the person being farted on... 209 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,386 until now. 210 00:10:48,419 --> 00:10:50,453 I want to work with you to try open people's eyes. 211 00:10:50,486 --> 00:10:53,119 Because I get it now. 212 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,286 You want to blame farts? 213 00:10:56,319 --> 00:10:58,186 That seems kind of ridiculous, doesn't it? 214 00:10:59,219 --> 00:11:00,486 What? 215 00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:01,819 I mean, it's a slippery slope 216 00:11:01,853 --> 00:11:02,753 when we start pointing the finger 217 00:11:02,786 --> 00:11:04,719 for our own short comings. 218 00:11:04,753 --> 00:11:07,086 But ?? But I thought for sure you would be on my side. 219 00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:09,486 Kind of sounds like something my mother would say, actually. 220 00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:12,086 What?! Oh, forget it! 221 00:11:14,686 --> 00:11:17,153 May I have your attention please? 222 00:11:17,186 --> 00:11:18,786 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 223 00:11:18,819 --> 00:11:20,219 are available at the front desk. 224 00:11:20,253 --> 00:11:22,353 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 225 00:11:22,386 --> 00:11:23,153 are available at the front desk. 226 00:11:23,186 --> 00:11:24,853 Thank you. 227 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,653 Come on. We gotta get outta here! 228 00:11:32,153 --> 00:11:35,553 ? Hold my hand ? 229 00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,619 ? Want you to hold my hand ? 230 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,719 ? Hold my hand ? 231 00:11:39,753 --> 00:11:41,186 You wanted to see me, PC Principal? 232 00:11:41,219 --> 00:11:42,519 ? I'll take you to ?? ? Oh, yes! 233 00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:43,853 Yes, Mackey, uh... 234 00:11:43,886 --> 00:11:45,553 I just wanted to see how you thought 235 00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:47,153 it was going with Strong Woman. 236 00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:49,386 Well, she seems to be acclimating fine, m'kay. 237 00:11:49,419 --> 00:11:50,586 The kids really respect her. 238 00:11:50,619 --> 00:11:52,386 Do you know, um... 239 00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:55,153 Do you know if Strong Woman has a boyfriend? 240 00:11:55,186 --> 00:11:56,219 What?! 241 00:11:56,253 --> 00:11:57,519 Nothing. Just forget it. 242 00:11:57,553 --> 00:11:59,319 Are you out of your fucking mind?! 243 00:11:59,353 --> 00:12:02,153 Askin' if a co?worker is available in today's times?! 244 00:12:02,186 --> 00:12:04,486 I just wanted to know because if she's unavailable, 245 00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:06,619 then maybe I can get my head off of her, all right?! 246 00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,719 Oh, boy, this is bad. 247 00:12:08,753 --> 00:12:10,853 This is real bad. 248 00:12:10,886 --> 00:12:11,853 I don't know how it happened. 249 00:12:11,886 --> 00:12:13,386 I know it's inappropriate, 250 00:12:13,419 --> 00:12:14,719 and yet I can't stop thinking about her. 251 00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:16,453 I think I'm sick. 252 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:20,419 Look, this is real fucking fire you're playin' with, m'kay? 253 00:12:20,453 --> 00:12:22,519 I'm gonna get someone down here from HR! 254 00:12:22,553 --> 00:12:25,519 HR? Is that, like, Hootie removal? 255 00:12:25,553 --> 00:12:27,386 No, Human Resources! 256 00:12:27,419 --> 00:12:28,853 The people that come in to make sure everything's 257 00:12:28,886 --> 00:12:30,286 kept on the level. 258 00:12:30,319 --> 00:12:36,386 We gotta get you back on track! 259 00:12:36,419 --> 00:12:39,686 Is Canada a bad influence on the United States? 260 00:12:39,719 --> 00:12:43,353 A group of young people called "Millennials Against Canada" 261 00:12:43,386 --> 00:12:46,486 think so, and we are joined by their leader, Kyle Broflovski. 262 00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:48,419 Thanks for having me, Tom. 263 00:12:48,453 --> 00:12:51,553 Young man, you say Canada is to blame for most of our problems. 264 00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:54,253 All I'm saying is that there's a culture that originates 265 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,286 from Canada which is at least partly to blame for the state 266 00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:57,619 of our country now. 267 00:12:57,653 --> 00:12:59,286 To respond to this, we're now joined 268 00:12:59,319 --> 00:13:01,153 by the Canadian Minister of Streaming. 269 00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:03,253 Thanks for having me, buddy. 270 00:13:03,286 --> 00:13:05,819 Minister, how do you answer to these angry millennials? 271 00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:07,719 Well, they're pissed off because their country sucks, 272 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:09,253 so they wanna point the finger at us. 273 00:13:09,286 --> 00:13:11,086 I'm saying we're all guilty, too. 274 00:13:11,119 --> 00:13:12,853 I grew up watching Terrance and Phillip, 275 00:13:12,886 --> 00:13:15,353 and I thought it was funny. So, you thought it was funny, 276 00:13:15,386 --> 00:13:17,819 but now it's not funny? No, it was never funny. I see it differently now! 277 00:13:17,853 --> 00:13:19,286 Oh, so you want to censor it? 278 00:13:19,319 --> 00:13:20,653 We don't want to censor it, 279 00:13:20,686 --> 00:13:22,519 we just want to get rid of it! 280 00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:24,619 Uh?huh. You sound like a Jewish Mother. 281 00:13:24,653 --> 00:13:27,486 Oh, see?! That's what I'm talking about right there! 282 00:13:27,519 --> 00:13:30,319 That kind of mean, degrading, Canadian trash. 283 00:13:30,353 --> 00:13:32,386 Now, I resent that! I find that racist. 284 00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:33,819 Canadians should care about the rest of the world! 285 00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:35,353 You are a racist, fwiend! 286 00:13:35,386 --> 00:13:36,786 And if you have a problem with Canada, 287 00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:38,186 maybe you should talk to your backward president! 288 00:13:38,219 --> 00:13:39,719 ?Maybe I will! ?'Kay, go ahead! 289 00:13:39,753 --> 00:13:41,219 Maybe I know the president. 290 00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:42,519 Oh, sure you do, just like all Jewish moms 291 00:13:42,553 --> 00:13:43,853 because you don't understand how ?? 292 00:13:43,886 --> 00:13:45,286 Stop calling me that! Can I finish?! 293 00:13:45,319 --> 00:13:46,553 That's all you know is how to be mean and ?? 294 00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:48,153 There's not a ?? Can I finish please?! 295 00:13:48,186 --> 00:13:49,653 Because you were all raised on it yourselves! 296 00:13:49,686 --> 00:13:53,453 Please, can I finish?! 297 00:13:53,486 --> 00:13:54,853 All right, I'm finished. 298 00:13:54,886 --> 00:13:57,319 All right, everyone, listen up. 299 00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:59,619 As you know we want to provide a safe work environment 300 00:13:59,653 --> 00:14:01,219 for all our employees. 301 00:14:01,253 --> 00:14:03,086 Sometimes feelings do arise 302 00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:05,786 and we are tempted by the devil to act upon them. 303 00:14:05,819 --> 00:14:08,086 So we've been reaching out to Human Resources Division 304 00:14:08,119 --> 00:14:09,653 as I think we can all use someone to tell us 305 00:14:09,686 --> 00:14:12,486 about what is and isn't considered misconduct. 306 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,253 She has some great advice for us, 307 00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:16,453 so now please welcome Heather Conduct. 308 00:14:16,486 --> 00:14:18,086 Go ahead, Miss Conduct. 309 00:14:18,119 --> 00:14:20,153 Hello, everyone, my name is Miss Conduct. 310 00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:21,819 I'm here to talk about making sure we avoid 311 00:14:21,853 --> 00:14:24,786 any trouble at this school, m'all right? 312 00:14:24,819 --> 00:14:26,753 M'kay. 313 00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:27,586 M'all right. 314 00:14:27,619 --> 00:14:29,519 Now, by a show of hands, 315 00:14:29,553 --> 00:14:33,053 who's ever had inappropriate feelings for a co?worker? 316 00:14:41,486 --> 00:14:44,619 Well, hello there, little girl. 317 00:14:44,653 --> 00:14:47,853 Are you selling girl scout cookies? 318 00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:50,519 Why, yes I am. How about a snickerdoodle? 319 00:14:50,553 --> 00:14:55,753 All right. You asked for it. 320 00:15:01,353 --> 00:15:04,686 Oh! Oh, I think I shit my pants. 321 00:15:06,686 --> 00:15:08,686 All right! That's it! Everyone stop! 322 00:15:08,719 --> 00:15:11,186 We're shutting it down! 323 00:15:16,853 --> 00:15:18,719 We are Millennials Against Canada! 324 00:15:18,753 --> 00:15:20,519 We demand this kind of bullying 325 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,486 Canadian entertainment be stopped! 326 00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:24,653 Didn't think I'd live long enough to see 327 00:15:24,686 --> 00:15:29,253 this all happen again. 328 00:15:29,286 --> 00:15:32,553 More and More millennials are turning into Jewish mothers 329 00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:35,853 today as they demand the censorship of entertainment. 330 00:15:35,886 --> 00:15:38,853 The protesters say they're not giving up and are demanding 331 00:15:38,886 --> 00:15:41,719 to speak with the president of the United States. 332 00:15:43,286 --> 00:15:45,086 Here you go! Call is coming in on your phone! 333 00:15:45,119 --> 00:15:46,619 Good give it here! Yes, hello? 334 00:15:46,653 --> 00:15:49,553 This is the leader of the Millennials Against Canada. 335 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:51,786 Kyle, what the fuck are you doing? 336 00:15:51,819 --> 00:15:54,519 Oh, I'm sorry I'm taking a stand and doing something. 337 00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,486 I realize this doesn't gel with your nihilism! 338 00:15:57,519 --> 00:15:59,819 Okay, dude. I didn't want to have say this, 339 00:15:59,853 --> 00:16:02,219 but you're really starting to sound like your mom. 340 00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:03,386 I'm not like my mom! 341 00:16:03,419 --> 00:16:04,719 I'm gonna make a difference! 342 00:16:04,753 --> 00:16:05,786 It's gonna feel real good! 343 00:16:05,819 --> 00:16:07,553 Kyle? Kyle! 344 00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,153 Don't do this man! 345 00:16:09,186 --> 00:16:10,286 You can't mess with this shit 346 00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:11,619 while You Know Who is in office! 347 00:16:11,653 --> 00:16:13,519 We're all gonna die!! 348 00:16:19,786 --> 00:16:22,086 M'all right, so now everyone, 349 00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:24,253 we're gonna do some role playing, m'all right, 350 00:16:24,286 --> 00:16:27,619 talk about appropriate ways we can talk in the workplace. 351 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,153 Can I ?? Can I get a volunteer to role play with me? 352 00:16:30,186 --> 00:16:32,453 M'all right? How about you Mister, uh... 353 00:16:32,486 --> 00:16:34,286 Mr. Mackey. 354 00:16:34,319 --> 00:16:36,719 M'all right, come on up here. 355 00:16:36,753 --> 00:16:38,786 M'all right now, we're just gonna pretend 356 00:16:38,819 --> 00:16:40,186 it's a normal morning before work 357 00:16:40,219 --> 00:16:41,753 and we're startin' the day. M'all right? 358 00:16:41,786 --> 00:16:44,519 Oh, Mr. Mackey, good morning. 359 00:16:44,553 --> 00:16:47,353 Good morning, uh, Miss Conduct. 360 00:16:47,386 --> 00:16:48,619 Now did you have a nice night? 361 00:16:48,653 --> 00:16:51,119 Yeah, yeah, it was good. 362 00:16:51,153 --> 00:16:53,386 M'all right, okay, well, good luck today, 363 00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:54,786 and I hope that our working relationship 364 00:16:54,819 --> 00:16:57,219 can continue be honest and straightforward. 365 00:16:57,253 --> 00:17:00,219 Oh, I'm very open and honest, I promise you that. 366 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,153 I can see that, you've got very honest eyes, m'all right. 367 00:17:03,186 --> 00:17:04,653 M'all right, I probably shouldn't have said 368 00:17:04,686 --> 00:17:06,119 "You have honest eyes," m'all right. 369 00:17:06,153 --> 00:17:07,686 That's a bit crossin' the line commenting 370 00:17:07,719 --> 00:17:09,819 on his physical attributes, m'all right? That's bad. 371 00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:12,486 I'm gonna stick to just talking about work only, m'all right? 372 00:17:12,519 --> 00:17:14,586 So, uh, Mr. Mackey, what methods do you use 373 00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:16,319 for counseling the students? 374 00:17:16,353 --> 00:17:18,519 Oh, I mostly use a semi?cognitive approach 375 00:17:18,553 --> 00:17:20,186 adapted by Kiezrick Solomon. 376 00:17:20,219 --> 00:17:21,619 Wow, you studied Solomon? 377 00:17:21,653 --> 00:17:23,619 He was actually my thesis in college. 378 00:17:23,653 --> 00:17:26,386 Are you serious? Nobody I talk to has ever even heard of him! 379 00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:27,786 No! Same here! 380 00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:29,819 What made you attracted to his work? 381 00:17:29,853 --> 00:17:31,819 Well, it's just such a natural approach, m'kay. 382 00:17:31,853 --> 00:17:33,653 M'all right. M'all right. 383 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:34,753 When I read it, you know, first, I was like, 384 00:17:34,786 --> 00:17:36,786 "Whoa, okay." M'all right. 385 00:17:36,819 --> 00:17:38,486 "This just really makes sense," you know? 386 00:17:38,519 --> 00:17:40,353 Well, m'all right. 387 00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:42,153 Mmm'kay. 388 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,419 M'all right. 389 00:17:51,319 --> 00:17:53,519 Mister President, you need to do something 390 00:17:53,553 --> 00:17:55,619 about your millennials! 391 00:17:55,653 --> 00:17:59,153 What do you want me to do? 392 00:17:59,186 --> 00:18:01,486 Terrance and Phillip are Canada's largest export! 393 00:18:01,519 --> 00:18:04,386 They account for 80% of our gross national product! 394 00:18:04,419 --> 00:18:07,186 If your citizens mess with them, they mess with all of us. 395 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,653 Look, I'm president of the United States. 396 00:18:10,686 --> 00:18:13,319 I can't get involved in every petty little protest 397 00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,153 against a third world country. 398 00:18:15,186 --> 00:18:17,319 Third world country?! How dare you! 399 00:18:17,353 --> 00:18:19,086 Canada is second world at least! 400 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,519 Now, you listen here, Mr. Buddy! 401 00:18:21,553 --> 00:18:24,519 Either you stop the embargo on the "Terrance and Phillip show," 402 00:18:24,553 --> 00:18:27,319 or we'll bring in our own troops to stop it ourselves! 403 00:18:27,353 --> 00:18:30,453 Are you threatening us, you beady?eyed Canuck? 404 00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:32,786 I'm simply telling you that Canada will do 405 00:18:32,819 --> 00:18:34,653 what it must to protect itself! 406 00:18:34,686 --> 00:18:37,786 Then I guess both our countries better be prepared. 407 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:42,786 And then, you know, I was looking for 408 00:18:42,819 --> 00:18:43,653 something to get away from the city. 409 00:18:43,686 --> 00:18:45,386 I've never really been a city person. 410 00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:46,619 M'all right. M'all right. 411 00:18:46,653 --> 00:18:48,319 I definitely get that. M'all right. 412 00:18:48,353 --> 00:18:49,386 I like hiking around, being around in nature, m'kay. 413 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,319 I agree, I agree, the city's bad. 414 00:18:51,353 --> 00:18:54,153 I love hiking, too. What are some of your favorite places? 415 00:18:54,186 --> 00:18:56,153 Well you know Mount Evans is always nice. 416 00:18:56,186 --> 00:18:57,319 M'all right. M'all right. 417 00:19:01,486 --> 00:19:02,586 What the hell is that? 418 00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,553 There's some kind of... 419 00:19:04,586 --> 00:19:06,619 military alert going out. 420 00:19:06,653 --> 00:19:08,619 All right, military alert everyone. 421 00:19:08,653 --> 00:19:10,086 Let's get to the hallways 422 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:10,686 and get the students to the gymnasium. 423 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:12,653 Come on. Let's move! 424 00:19:17,786 --> 00:19:19,753 It's the National Guard! 425 00:19:19,786 --> 00:19:21,353 The National Guard?! 426 00:19:21,386 --> 00:19:23,653 It's the President! He wants to talk to you. 427 00:19:23,686 --> 00:19:25,619 Yes, this is Millennials Against Canada. 428 00:19:25,653 --> 00:19:27,786 Yeah, listen this thing is kind of escalating. 429 00:19:27,819 --> 00:19:29,819 You people need to call it quits. 430 00:19:29,853 --> 00:19:31,553 We can't do that, Mr. President. 431 00:19:31,586 --> 00:19:33,286 Someone has to do what's right! 432 00:19:33,319 --> 00:19:36,153 What exactly do you want? 433 00:19:36,186 --> 00:19:37,853 What do I want?! 434 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,786 I want a world... 435 00:19:39,819 --> 00:19:42,719 where laughter doesn't come at someone else's expense, 436 00:19:42,753 --> 00:19:47,219 where people can live freely without fear of being farted on. 437 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:51,819 I want a world where you aren't ridiculed for trying to help! 438 00:19:51,853 --> 00:19:54,786 A world where a nice girl that I liked 439 00:19:54,819 --> 00:19:57,219 isn't turned into another Eric Cartman! 440 00:19:57,253 --> 00:19:59,719 These Canadians are in the way of that world 441 00:19:59,753 --> 00:20:02,386 and everything they do and everything they have done 442 00:20:02,419 --> 00:20:04,586 needs to be erased from the Earth! 443 00:20:05,719 --> 00:20:08,186 Geez, I got a little chub. 444 00:20:10,753 --> 00:20:13,686 Let's go! Everyone to the gymnasium now! 445 00:20:13,719 --> 00:20:15,653 You heard her! Move it people! 446 00:20:18,653 --> 00:20:20,319 I have to make sure all the classrooms are empty. 447 00:20:20,353 --> 00:20:22,153 You go take cover with the kids! 448 00:20:22,186 --> 00:20:23,419 I'm coming, too! 449 00:20:23,453 --> 00:20:25,553 I'm your Vice Principal! 450 00:20:25,586 --> 00:20:27,319 All right, come on! 451 00:20:28,719 --> 00:20:30,853 Oh, no. What's wrong? 452 00:20:30,886 --> 00:20:33,253 Vice Principal Woman, I need to ask you something. 453 00:20:33,286 --> 00:20:35,353 Okay. This is very difficult, 454 00:20:35,386 --> 00:20:36,853 What? What?! 455 00:20:36,886 --> 00:20:38,119 Well, as you can see, 456 00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,486 there is a door in front of us. 457 00:20:39,519 --> 00:20:40,786 Yes, there is. 458 00:20:40,819 --> 00:20:41,753 I would like to open this door for you, 459 00:20:41,786 --> 00:20:44,419 however I understand the gender?based biases 460 00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:46,286 that this could imply. Why do you need to 461 00:20:46,319 --> 00:20:47,719 I don't need to open the door. 462 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:48,919 I'd just be opening it and holding it the same way 463 00:20:48,953 --> 00:20:51,186 I would for counselor Mackey, a student, or anyone else. 464 00:20:51,219 --> 00:20:52,519 Somebody's going to have to open the door, 465 00:20:52,553 --> 00:20:57,386 or we could die out here. 466 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:08,686 ? With a little love and some tenderness ? 467 00:21:08,719 --> 00:21:12,453 ? We'll rise above the mess ? 468 00:21:12,486 --> 00:21:18,319 ? With a little peace, and some harmony ? 469 00:21:18,353 --> 00:21:19,586 ? We'll take the world together ? 470 00:21:21,186 --> 00:21:24,853 ? We'll take 'em by the hand ? 471 00:21:24,886 --> 00:21:30,553 ? 'Cause I've got a hand for you ? 472 00:21:30,586 --> 00:21:34,519 ? 'Cause I wanna run with you ? 473 00:21:34,553 --> 00:21:37,219 ? Yesterday ? 474 00:21:37,253 --> 00:21:40,819 ? I saw you standing there ? 475 00:21:40,853 --> 00:21:43,653 ? Your head was down, your eyes were red ? 476 00:21:43,686 --> 00:21:45,386 ? No comb had touched your hair ? 477 00:21:45,419 --> 00:21:49,783 ? I said get up, and let me see you smile ? 478 00:21:49,784 --> 00:21:54,937 ? We'll take a walk together, walk the road awhile ? 479 00:21:56,353 --> 00:21:57,753 May I have your attention please? Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 480 00:21:57,786 --> 00:21:58,686 are available at the front desk. 481 00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:00,553 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 482 00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:02,119 are available at the front desk. 483 00:22:02,153 --> 00:22:03,453 Thank you. 484 00:22:05,419 --> 00:22:08,286 Come on. We gotta get outta here!