Previously on Boat Story...
Two strangers found a boatload of cocaine and sold it.
Only it belonged to...
- Le Tailleur. - The Tailor.
- The Tailor.
He's French...
He came after them, only, he got a little distracted.
But his enforcer did not,
which is why he kidnapped Janet's son.
In return, Janet and Samuel took the most important thing to The Tailor -
Pat, who was at the very moment
finding out some crazy shit about this French movie
and why The Tailor kept calling her... Madame Béthune.
Exciting, huh?
So exciting it even got turned into a play.
We're nearly there! We're nearly at the end!
Or is it just another point in time?
Because nothing really ends.
Not really.
We just choose a moment with some kind of an emotional resolution
and we stick a pin in that and we call it the end!
The end!
People die, other people around them do,
and live on with the consequences, but the story never ends!
This feels like the end!
And now we are here.
The abandoned reservoi-er.
So... here we all are.
Is it me you should be pointing that thing at?
What? What does he mean, Samuel?
I'm sorry!
I knew all along, OK?
I knew about the boat!
I knew it were there!
I'm sorry!
This is it!
This is the end.
*CREDITS*
Seems like forever ago we was in that field with the boy
finding that head.
Now here we are and two people who were strangers not so long ago,
are driving through the country with a woman in the trunk of their car.
It's sure not how they wanted things, but you do what you can
to survive for the people you love.
Help! Let me out!
Help! Help! Anybody there?
Help me!
Move her hand.
Help! Help! People, please!
They're holding me! Holding me against my will!
There's someone here called French.
Try it.
Patricia, mon amour.
It's Janet.
And Samuel.
We stole your cocaine.
Why are you calling me from Patricia's phone?
You've taken someone I love, Mr Tailor.
What?
So now I've done the same to you. She's in the boot of my car.
You're lying.
Do I fucking sound like I'm lying?
A bit, yes.
Can anybody hear me?!
Does it?
Espece de crevure! Ordure de merde! Comment tu oses?
Moi et mes hommes, on va te dechirer ta gueule, toi,
ta famille et toutes les enflures que t'as croisees dans ta vie!
If your man so much as touches a hair on my boy's head, I will...
I've taken no-one. You're delusional.
Your bloke has,
to tidy up loose ends, namely... namely us.
You have me wrong.
When I woke up in that hospital bed, I knew things had changed.
I see my own ending now.
I'm not the person you think I am.
You'll forgive us if we don't believe you.
I don't want to hurt Pat.
I really don't. But I...
..I will do anything - and I mean fucking anything -
to protect my son.
And I will do anything to protect her.
So just tell me what you want.
Bring me Alan.
And bring the money. If we're going to disappear, we're going to need money.
And we don't want to be looking over
our shoulders the rest of our lives, so, erm...
Yeah, we need it in two bags. One each.
Did you tell her?
Does Patricia know who I am?
Er, no, she don't.
Good. It must stay that way.
I should be the one to talk with her.
You will have the money and the boy.
OK, er, great.
So, er, we... we will...
We'll text you where to meet.
I will be there.
Come with me.
And keep your eyes shut.
And bring that trumpet thing an' all.
Close your eyes and step carefully.
There's blood on the floor.
Hey, hey.
You can open them now.
Sit there.
And don't move.
Yeah?
Change of plan.
Your place ain't going to work.
You haven't spoken to your boss yet, have you?
- You what? - I suggest you do.
And if you've hurt my boy, you are seven different kinds of fucked.
Yes?
Listen, I've just had a weird call from that woman.
You took her boy?
Yeah, I did, but, I mean, I'm trying to tie up loose ends.
You know, solutions, not problems, and that.
It has had repercussions.
Look, I didn't think...
No, you didn't.
They've taken something from me now,
far more valuable than any shipment of any kind.
Meet me at my hotel with the boy.
There is a change of plan.
What is it?
The glorious end of it all.
? It's not the end
? There's more to my story
? I gave her my heart
? But if she knew the things I do
? It would tear her apart. ?
_
Vous avez... Erm, do you have an address?
They said they wanted to meet at some reservoir.
And so it shall be.
Oh, corduroy.
Fustian.
That's what it was originally in Ancient Egypt.
Corduroy, but without the distinctive ridges
that it would become known for.
So what's going to happen now?
Now?
Now, this will all end.
_
I told you it was a story about a boat.
It's going to be all right.
- You don't know that. - No, I believe it will.
I have to believe.
For your family, for my family.
When you said... You said they were safe.
What did you mean by that?
I, erm...
..I locked them into a shipping container.
Fucking hell.
How far is this meeting place?
We're close now. Should be there well before 'em.
I'm really sorry, but I...
..I really want to believe that we're going to just give this man
his woman and walk away, and...
..you'll have Alan and we'll have all that money.
I really, really want to believe that, but I just can't.
I mean, we've got no weapon. We've got no backup.
How are we supposed to trust him?
We're going to pull over and I'm going to get out
and I'm going to buy a kitchen knife.
And when we get to the reservoir, I'm going to take that knife
and I'm going to hold it to that poor woman's throat.
And only when Alan is safely in this car and you've driven him away
from there, will I... will I bring it away.
They can do with me whatever they want,
but you two will be long gone
and Alan will be safe.
- That's very brave. I don't know if I can... - Just please shut up, Samuel.
Right.
Hi boss, it's me.
I'm presently at the location of the suspect, presently.
I said presently, didn't I?
Anyway, I'm heading in now.
If you don't hear from me in the next hour, it's cos something's
happened to me... or I've lost my phone.
But I'd assume the former, just cos I'd like you to come looking
for me if something has happened.
Which it won't - I've brought me baton! Heh-heh!
See you on the other side, boss.
It's Ben, by the way. Ben Tooh.
Er, I work for you, just to be...
Yeah.
Message received today at 13:36.
Jennings, do me a favour. Check in on Officer Tooh, would you?
- Really? - I know, I know.
Taking the phrase "wasting police time" to new levels,
but better safe than sorry.
PC Jennings here. Come in, Officer Tooh.
Ben?
Could I get a ping on A7895?
- Is that traffic? - Yeah.
Officer Tooh's radio.
Roger that.
Officer down!
Oh, come on.
Ow. Gentle.
About bloody time.
You can take those bloody stupid things off an' all.
I'm not an idiot.
I recognise you from the hospital.
You've got one hand, love, you don't exactly blend in.
Are you all right?
No, I am not all right, cos I've been kidnapped
and put in the back of a car, so I'm not all right at all, actually.
Me hands...
This dog lead's really digging in.
Can we get rid?
No. No, I'm sorry. No.
Come on.
Get a move on.
Are you going to tell me what this is about, at least?
Best not to.
Best for who?
You don't seem the type to do this sort of thing, love.
Well, we are, Pat.
We weren't, but we are now.
It's about him this, in't it?
Tailor.
I might have known.
It's not every day a handsome Frenchman walks into your life
and then gets shot.
But you're not going to tell me any more about it, are you?
Look, just do as we say, and you'll be fine.
Turns out it weren't even me he liked.
I look like an actress in some film,
which I never got to see the end of cos of you two.
It's called Les Enfants.
French.
You ever seen it?
No.
- Can't say I have. - I haven't, no.
Genevieve LaRue, she's called.
And apparently I look almost exactly like her.
All these years, no-one ever said.
She only made the one movie, mind.
Is it OK, me talking?
I just find it helps with the stress.
And getting kidnapped, that's up there
on the list of stressful situations.
It's about twin boys.
Their father is a tailor.
And there's an accident which kills one brother and the dad,
leaving this poor boy all alone.
And there's a woman passing by the scene of the accident.
She's the one who calls for the ambulance.
And that's me.
Or Genevieve LaRue.
Everything he ever told me about himself...
..it's in that film.
It's like someone put his whole life story up on screen.
That's bloody weird.
- It is, isn't it? - Yeah.
And what's your business with him?
I'm guessing you're not really friends.
He has money.
Oh.
So that's what all this is about.
Money.
Only two reasons people turn bad...
..love...
..and money.
I should've guessed when he said he
was staying at the Grand Sterling Hotel.
Swanky as balls, that place.
Knives just for the butter.
Where the hell are they?
Here.
Yeah?
Where are you?
We're on our way. There's no need to be impatient.
Put my boy on.
I need to know he's OK or this whole thing's off. Put him on.
She wants to speak with the boy.
OK.
- Mum? - Oh! Alan. Oh, my God.
God, are you OK? Are you all right?
I'm all right. Don't worry. I'm all right.
I'm sorry, love, I'm so, so sorry.
I don't understand what's happening.
It's all right. You're going to be all right, I promise.
I'm going to make sure of it.
And... Fuck. Fuck, you know this
and you don't need to hear it, but I need to say it.
My love for you goes out past the sky, through the blackness of space
and into the stars.
It stretches through all of the constellations, all of the galaxies,
through space and time in a way that folds in on itself
and it never ends.
The feeling is very much mutual.
I mean it, Alan. This is not...
_
What'd you think?
Where do I start?
Why did you say I knew all along about the boat and the drugs?
Needed more conflict and an ending for the act.
It doesn't even make sense.
See, if I'd somehow set it all up,
why would I then involve a random stranger I met on the beach?
- Eh? - Not "eh?"
It's a lie.
Anyway, that strand didn't go anywhere.
No, but the audience came back after the interval, didn't they?
It's not what happened.
It's more interesting than what happened.
People do it all the time.
Right.
Here.
Now can I have my money?
Oh! Ooh!
Ohh... Ohh...
It's in good nick, eh?
Well, resin don't crack.
That's the saying, I believe.
How'd you find it?
Surprisingly enough, it was pretty much where I left it.
Now, come on. I... I could use that money.
500, eh?
Worth every penny.
Hm.
- What? - Aren't you the least bit interested
about how it actually ended?
Go on, tell us.
What the fuck is this?!
The less you know, the better.
Come with me. Don't move.
- What?! - You're going to be fine.
Do as I say.
Right, that's far enough! Far enough.
Put that away.
Put it away!
Let's get it over with.
What's happening?
Not too long, my love. This will all be over.
- Tailor? - Yes, my love.
I have the money and no-one needs to get hurt.
Yeah, I can't trust you, though, can I?
You give me what I want. I stay with her till that car's gone.
Only then do I let her go.
You would leave yourself exposed like this?
I'd do anything.
I know this feeling very well.
Let him go.
Stay here. Don't move.
Don't move.
And the money!
Right, stop there.
Get to the car.
You do not trust me, eh?
Heh! Here.
Patricia and I will get the ending we deserve.
We will sail away on the Bouton De Rose
and no-one will ever see us again!
Right.
Stop.
Stay here.
Are you OK, my love?
Did they hurt you?
What was...?
This should never have happened.
Who are those people?
Who are you?
I am the man you fell for.
I've done things in the past that I'm not proud of,
but those are gone.
You're not just a tailor.
Does it matter?
Let them keep their money.
I don't need it when I have you.
Who... who... who's that?
This is my driver.
Now, come. Let us take you somewhere safe.
I need to phone Ben.
They took my phone.
There will be time to call your son.
First, let me look after you,
get you somewhere safe, get you a drink for your nerves.
I just don't understand.
So what's the plan?
What do you mean?
You want me to follow them two?
Take care of 'em when your Doris ain't looking?
No, we have a deal. They live.
I don't get it.
You've never let...
This ain't like you.
I'm not... me.
I'm...
I'm something more.
Just take us to the hotel and then go...
..go back home.
Are you serious?
Yes.
The job is over.
I don't get it.
Why'd he just let us go like that?
What got into him? He was so bloody weird.
Who cares? We're alive.
I just... I can't... I can't believe it.
He shot a policeman.
Who?
That big bloke who worked for the French guy.
Shot him like he were nothing.
Are you going to tell me?
And that's when Janet told Alan everything -
the whole story, nose to tail, like I just told you.
But she didn't yet know what was happening
over at the police station.
And they're sure about this?
You know what ballistics can be like.
The gun found at the caravan matches the one used in the shooting.
He was right.
He tried to tell me and...
Find Janet Campbell and Samuel Wells.
For Officer Ben Tooh.
Find them.
_
What's that?
It's a betting slip from the day that Vinnie paid us.
Are you serious?
Nothing I couldn't afford.
Everything that's happened and you've learned precisely fuck all?
What is the big deal? I...
It don't matter. It's fine.
What now?
I run, somewhere non-extradition.
We should go to Cuba.
I've always wanted to go there.
They've got a healthy respect for the horn section.
You can't come. You're only 14.
I don't care. I want to go with you.
It's no life for you.
No, it's not...
Life's short.
Everything can go wrong,
fast,
any time.
Officer Tooh had no idea that when he went into work that he'd be shot.
- Breaking news. Police have... - Officer Tooh? That's who...
- Shh... - issued an urgent call for any sightings of two suspects -
a white woman, 40s, blonde hair with blue highlights,
travelling with a black man, 50s, bald,
in and around the Applebury area.
The police have advised not to...
Drop us off somewhere. We need to split up.
It's not over yet, then.
No, it's far from over.
Shouldn't we talk to the police?
No. Tomorrow.
Right now, you must be looked after.
Please.
Please, stand there.
This is for you, Madame Béthune.
Right...
"Madame Béthune" again. Could you stop that now?
I've watched Les Enfants.
You saw it all?
No, because I was bloody kidnapped, but I saw enough.
It's your life up on screen.
Yes.
My father was a tailor.
I had a twin brother, like the boy.
Just like in the film, they were in an accident.
Must've been strange,
watching your own childhood reflected up on screen.
Yes.
Yes, it was just like in the film.
No different at all.
But it was different.
Very different.
_
That movie wasn't his childhood.
It was an escape from it.
But he didn't say this to Pat.
This is what I'm getting at, love.
You met me and I look like that actress, but somewhere
in your head, you think that I'm going to be the end
to your favourite movie.
Well, I'm not Madame Béthune...
..or Genevieve LaWotsit.
I am me and you need to accept that.
I do.
It is you I want.
All of you.
Hi, it's Camilla. Please leave a message.
So you going to be all right from here?
Well, I guess I'll find out.
Yeah, well, we've both got plenty of money to keep going, you know.
50-50, right down the middle.
Do you think she'll be OK?
- She? Who? - Pat.
I have no idea. Why are you...?
Because the policeman who got killed, that were her son.
Jesus.
She don't know her son's gone and we just delivered her right back
into the arms of the man responsible.
He says he loves her, so she'll be fine?
He were acting pretty bloody weird.
OK, she made her choice, right, to be with that lunatic.
And, er, thank God for free choice, I say,
cos I choose to get the fuck out of here.
In fact, we both need to get as far from here as possible.
Good luck to you, Janet.
I thought you didn't believe in luck.
Well, maybe you've rubbed off on me.
Good luck to you, Alan.
All good?
All good.
What's wrong?
The French bloke who took you were talking a lot about endings.
Yeah, he said something like that to me, like,
about endings and... boats.
Have you ever heard of a film called Les Enfants?
No. Why?
How can you think about French films when the police are after you?
It's just... something's not right.
Right, come on.
It's been a hell of a day.
Maybe we should just go and report what happened, get it over with.
I need to do this with you.
Please.
Try this dress.
Please. Please.
Fine.
Might not fit, mind.
_
Bloody hell. This is awful.
It was banned in a lot of countries.
Yeah, but you can't ban something for being awful.
_
Shall we fast-forward to the end?
Please do.
Are they on a boat?
That's what he said to you, right? That it would all end on a boat?
_
Shit the bed, love!
I can't see. What's going on?
No, I know. I know.
You don't want to know.
You don't need to see that.
- Just tell me. - No.
- No, I'm taking you home. - I'm staying with you.
No, you're staying with your dad, where you're safe,
just until I'm done.
What are you doing?
What I should've done on the beach that day - the right thing.
_
Just tell me, where are we going?
It's a surprise, as I told you.
Please.
Right, go, go.
Just keep your distance.
OK...
Let me explain.
I needed to protect you from...
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up for once in your life!
You expect us to smile and nod quietly
while you keep talking and talking?
That's not true!
No, you don't get to tell me what is and isn't true.
I know, I know.
But I can change.
I swear.
No, you can't keep lying and lying to a person
and expecting them to believe you.
I'm going home.
You can't go home. You can't go home.
They know where we live!
I've got money. I've got lots of money.
We can go anywhere in the world. Anywhere. Where do you want to go?
As far away from you as possible.
Come on, we're leaving.
Darling...
Please don't leave.
_
Fucking hell. This is all yours?
It is ours.
Crikey!
Quite something, this.
_
"Madame Bethune" again?
Oh, sit down!
I'm sorry.
I think I want to leave now.
Leave?
But I try to do this nice thing for you and you want to leave?
Don't raise your voice at me, sunshine!
I do not raise my voice at your sunshine,
I raise my voice at you and you alone!
What has got into you?
I just want you to be happy.
Seems like yourself you're thinking about.
No.
It is for us.
The both of us.
So things can be as they are meant to be.
You've not been yourself.
Not since you woke up in that hospital bed.
No, I am not myself.
I am better.
I see things more clearly than ever.
You will be comfortable down here.
Tailor, I'm not sure...
This is too much.
It's all been too much.
I know. Trust me.
All I want is for things to be perfect.
Wait for me.
Make yourself at home.
- Er... - But I will be back soon.
What the...?
_
What the fuck?!
Armed police! Show me your hands!
Turn around slowly.
It's all to do with a film.
This Les Enfants thing again?
- You've seen it? - Not all of it.
But I don't understand how that can possibly have anything to do with...
If you'd seen the end, you'd know.
What happens at the end?
_
- Fucking hell. - Yeah.
So what are we going to do?
Mon amour, dinner is ready.
I'm sorry you had to wait so long.
You are beautiful.
Come with me, Madame Bethune.
Come with me and you will see the world in colour again.
Are you going to eat it?
It smells lovely.
You look beautiful.
Oh, please, do not look scared.
There is nothing to fear from me.
I would never hurt you.
You hate me?
No. No, I don't hate you.
I just feel sorry for you is all.
Sorry for me?
You're not well, love.
Why don't you eat?
No.
I know what you put in it.
That's not how you treat people you love.
_
You're fucking mental!
What now?
Usually I'd say we should call the police, but...
I'm sort of wanted.
I always wanted more excitement in me life.
I don't want that any more.
Your boy...
you said he were a police officer, didn't you?
Yeah.
I'm dead proud of him.
Why?
Why did you ask that?
_
The case against Samuel was thrown out of court...
Who can I make this out to?
but the stress got him to enlist in Gamblers Anonymous.
That's where he met a book editor.
That's how he came to write a hypothetical memoir.
Craig had first option on the film rights.
As for Camilla and Anya, sometime after they left Samuel,
they discovered a bag with £2 million on their doorstep.
Pat Tooh went back to work and after burying her son, Ben,
she vowed never to want anything interesting in her life again...
until she met a Spanish guy called Carlos,
but that's a whole other story.
Ben Tooh was posthumously awarded something called
the George Cross medal, which I am told is mighty fine.
As for Guy, he kept working for the cartel under new management
until he was found in his own home, shot in the back of the head.
He never did make another vase.
And the Tailor was buried in Paris.
According to his wishes, he was laid to rest in a very specific plot
of land in the 7th arrondissement...
which he had purchased as a young man.
As for Janet, well, she made her own ending.
"Hello, Alan!"
Do you ever get tired of amusing yourself?
No, I really don't.
What's that?
- Fish. Got it from the fish bloke next door. - What kind?
A big one.
Silly woman.
I don't know about happily ever after, but, er...
it'll do for now.
You heard from her at all, then? Janet?
Fair enough.
Shame. Everything you two went through,
thought that might be some kind of bonding experience.
Bonding, yeah.
She got her son to switch out my money for his tuba.
There's no bond.
Well, if you do get a chance to talk to her, put a word in.
Might be able to help me get the end working better.
Why are you so obsessed with the end?
We all are.
We come into this world with these underdeveloped brains
that are trying to process everything going on around us,
but we come out of it... like that.
We get cut off mid-sentence.
Mortality is...
*CREDITS*
Janet, Alan,
they lived happily every after, those two did.
Why? Why are you telling me all this?
So we can learn from their mistakes.
They're here.
Elias, wait!
Don't worry...
everything's going to be OK.
You sound like Samuel talking to Janet.
Nah, that was their story.
This one's ours.
This will be different.
Has to be.