1
00:00:01,894 --> 00:00:03,493
(magical theme playing)

2
00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:05,896
Ho, ho, ho!

3
00:00:06,565 --> 00:00:08,716
(children laughing, chattering)

4
00:00:19,428 --> 00:00:22,095
Good sir, perchance you would
like to try on

5
00:00:22,248 --> 00:00:24,581
the "categorize cap"
to see which school

6
00:00:24,674 --> 00:00:26,250
of magic most suits thee?

7
00:00:26,268 --> 00:00:28,027
Not today, weirdo.

8
00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:29,862
(alarm blares)

9
00:00:30,013 --> 00:00:32,814
Congratulations,
you're a Grizzledum!

10
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:36,035
Yes! Finally!
A hat that respects me!

11
00:00:36,262 --> 00:00:37,928
Don't be too cocky.

12
00:00:37,930 --> 00:00:40,781
That means you're a sworn
enemy of Pufflesnuff.

13
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,966
I hate those guys.

14
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,193
Well, well, well, if it ain't

15
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,454
one of those Grizzledum gits.

16
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:51,441
Someone had a little too much
bubble and squeak for breakfast.

17
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:54,278
Don't worry, Dad.
Those are just park employees.

18
00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:56,538
Cool!
Then they can't hit me back.

19
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:57,631
Oi!

20
00:00:57,783 --> 00:00:59,874
We're seasonal workers.

21
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:02,728
We can do
as we bloody well please.

22
00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:06,023
Yeah, well, just wait'll
my fellow Grizzledums help me.

23
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,217
I'm known for my stomach aches.

24
00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:12,479
My character was cut
from the movies.

25
00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:14,389
- Aah!
- Get him!

26
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,316
[sighs] This is a good time
to call Grampa

27
00:01:16,468 --> 00:01:18,410
and see how Maggie's doing.

28
00:01:18,562 --> 00:01:20,079
PUFFLESNUFF: Carve a lightning
bolt in his head!

29
00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:22,414
Hello, Mabel.
Can I have my dad?

30
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:23,640
Sure thing, Marge.

31
00:01:23,659 --> 00:01:26,643
Patching you through
to Throwback 7244.

32
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:27,828
(phone rings)

33
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,738
Hey, Marge,
everything is A-okay,

34
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,240
which was a popular slogan

35
00:01:32,334 --> 00:01:35,577
during Martin Van Buren's
election campaign because...

36
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,931
Ooh, thank God
I'm on my anti-rambling meds.

37
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:41,416
I remember the first day
I went on them.

38
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,175
That's it.

39
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,769
Anyway, Maggie's having fun

40
00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:45,437
with her little friend.

41
00:01:45,589 --> 00:01:46,680
We're at the beach?!

42
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,498
I better put on sunscreen.

43
00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:49,608
(humming)

44
00:02:00,604 --> 00:02:02,955
(exhales)
I finally know what it's like

45
00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:04,514
to be a British beverage.

46
00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:08,127
Gently back and forth,
back and forth.

47
00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:11,371
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

48
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,874
Bart!
Stop playing with the wheel.

49
00:02:14,042 --> 00:02:16,376
Only if Homer buys us something
at the gift shop!

50
00:02:16,528 --> 00:02:20,197
Why do I keep thinking
these places will be fun?

51
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:23,049
You don't!
It's a place you can be with us

52
00:02:23,202 --> 00:02:25,126
without having to talk to us.

53
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,353
(Bart laughs evilly)

54
00:02:29,224 --> 00:02:32,634
Oh, finally,
a place to spend money.

55
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,486
I'll take three of each wand

56
00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:37,381
plus holsters and the
five-year magic care warranty.

57
00:02:37,399 --> 00:02:40,492
And I'll pick the one
that costs a little extra

58
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:43,328
because they also give
a wand to a needy child.

59
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,746
(groans)

60
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,541
(grunting)

61
00:02:49,411 --> 00:02:50,410
Aw.

62
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,213
Listen to her,
purring like a kitten.

63
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,751
(gasps) Grampa, when was
the last time you saw Maggie?

64
00:02:57,903 --> 00:02:59,736
I just changed her diaper

65
00:02:59,829 --> 00:03:01,571
before I put the cat out.

66
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,098
Uh-oh.

67
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,334
- Maggie!
- Where are you, Mags?

68
00:03:06,428 --> 00:03:08,578
Ask Grampa, maybe he knows.

69
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:09,763
(knocking)

70
00:03:09,915 --> 00:03:11,356
Simpsons, I don't know

71
00:03:11,508 --> 00:03:14,610
if Heaven's missing an angel,
but I think you might be.

72
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,847
Oh, my sweet baby!

73
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,516
Flanders, I owe ya one.

74
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,702
Well, sir, could you give me
back my Allen wrench?

75
00:03:23,853 --> 00:03:25,946
(scoffs)
This guy names his tools.

76
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,875
Grampa, I'm afraid we'll never
ask you to babysit again.

77
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:32,118
Who says I want to?
You never even pay me!

78
00:03:32,271 --> 00:03:34,880
Well, you can rest easy
knowing if anything did happen,

79
00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:37,274
she has the only insurance
you truly need.

80
00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:39,276
A simple Christian baptism.

81
00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:41,720
Actually,
we haven't gotten around

82
00:03:41,947 --> 00:03:43,129
to baptizing her yet.

83
00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,948
You mean
this child could've been

84
00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,541
cast into God's basement

85
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,802
of eternal burning,
because you were "too busy"?

86
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:52,289
We could baptize her soon,
if you want to be the godfather.

87
00:03:52,307 --> 00:03:54,474
Oh, no can-doodily.
I'm already the godfather

88
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,718
to 1,100 children.
Take one of these.

89
00:03:56,795 --> 00:03:59,071
- It'll buzz when I have an opening.
- (buzzes)

90
00:03:59,222 --> 00:04:00,647
This is for a baptism?

91
00:04:00,799 --> 00:04:04,559
My wife is Shinto and I worship
the Klingon faith of Ba-a-a-a.

92
00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:06,653
We thought this was
for Tony Roma's.

93
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,321
Good night!

94
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:13,234
I can't stop thinking
about Maggie not being baptized.

95
00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,495
What if...
the unspeakable happens?

96
00:04:15,647 --> 00:04:17,422
Are you saying that just
because we don't splash

97
00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:20,000
a little water on her
she's gonna burn forever?

98
00:04:20,152 --> 00:04:22,002
Sleep well, knowing
current religious thought

99
00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:24,078
is Maggie won't go to Hell.

100
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,914
Although that's
always up for debate.

101
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,226
- Mm. (snores)
- (sighs)

102
00:04:33,682 --> 00:04:35,515
Hmm.

103
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,360
Ah! Ah.

104
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,542
Nice and unbaptized.

105
00:04:45,544 --> 00:04:48,678
She'll play
in an unsanitary ball pit

106
00:04:48,772 --> 00:04:50,772
- for all eternity.
- (gasps)

107
00:04:50,866 --> 00:04:52,541
(Devil laughing)

108
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,276
And I'm here, too!

109
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:58,112
And I've got Milhouse
growing on my back.

110
00:04:58,206 --> 00:05:00,690
I'm the front
and you're the back!

111
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:02,359
- I'm the front!
- (grunts)

112
00:05:02,377 --> 00:05:03,260
Ow!

113
00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:07,121
We have
to get Maggie baptized now.

114
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,533
Either Patty or Selma could be
the godmother.

115
00:05:09,626 --> 00:05:11,868
Well, that would insult
one of them.

116
00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,645
But I want
to insult both of them.

117
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:15,630
What we really need

118
00:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,149
for the godfather

119
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,966
is someone
who goes to church weekly,

120
00:05:19,061 --> 00:05:21,061
not the Christmas
and Easter crowd.

121
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,137
Lousy part-time Protestants.

122
00:05:23,231 --> 00:05:25,215
I go every week
and sleep through mass

123
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:26,808
like a real Christian.

124
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:29,069
Homie, this is important to me.

125
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,312
I get it, but can't this wait?

126
00:05:31,332 --> 00:05:33,999
You go find her a godfather!

127
00:05:34,150 --> 00:05:36,626
The classiest person you know.

128
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,915
- BOTH: Hey!
- Wait a minute!

129
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,583
I wasn't watching that!

130
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:44,843
Guys, this is serious.

131
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:47,087
I'm looking for a godfather
for my little angel.

132
00:05:47,239 --> 00:05:49,756
Aw, what a cutie.
Let me give her a sip of beer.

133
00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:51,833
Okay, you're out.

134
00:05:51,927 --> 00:05:53,259
If I'm out, Carl's out.

135
00:05:53,428 --> 00:05:56,170
I decide who tells
me what to do. Moe?

136
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,507
You're out, Carl. So, Homer,
I hear you're lookin' for...

137
00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:00,917
You're out. Barney?

138
00:06:00,936 --> 00:06:03,028
- You're out.
- Aw!

139
00:06:03,255 --> 00:06:05,105
Godfather? Well let's see.

140
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,157
I have done a great
job with Ralphie.

141
00:06:08,852 --> 00:06:10,610
HOMER:
Wiggum out.

142
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:13,872
Don't worry, sweetie. You don't
need a godfather right away.

143
00:06:14,099 --> 00:06:16,541
You're gonna live
a long, long time.

144
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:22,606
Here's another avoidable death
you've gotten us into.

145
00:06:22,624 --> 00:06:25,175
(sobbing)

146
00:06:29,372 --> 00:06:30,780
Fat Tony!

147
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:32,115
You saved us!

148
00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:35,227
Not I.
It was the Blessed Mother.

149
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,304
You're religious, too.

150
00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:40,640
You'd be a great godfather,
if it weren't for...

151
00:06:40,792 --> 00:06:42,550
If it weren't for what?

152
00:06:42,644 --> 00:06:44,719
Uh... you know...

153
00:06:44,796 --> 00:06:46,905
No, I do not know.

154
00:06:47,056 --> 00:06:47,906
(whimpers)

155
00:06:48,057 --> 00:06:50,575
What a cute little bambina.

156
00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:52,059
(Maggie giggling)

157
00:06:52,154 --> 00:06:53,470
I accept your offer.

158
00:06:53,563 --> 00:06:56,397
I will be godfather
to your child.

159
00:06:56,491 --> 00:06:57,474
Yeah, but, but, but...

160
00:06:57,567 --> 00:07:00,827
You did offer it to me,
didn't you?

161
00:07:00,979 --> 00:07:03,663
He said it.
We got it all on tape.

162
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,258
(sobs)
I truly appreciate this.

163
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,427
I have nothing innocent
and pure in my life,

164
00:07:08,654 --> 00:07:11,078
but now I have
this sweet little angel.

165
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,914
Great, great.

166
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,325
This'll be just
likeThe Godfather.

167
00:07:15,343 --> 00:07:17,494
- The what?
- You know, the movie

168
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:19,438
- Never heard of it.
- It's about a guy like you,

169
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:20,513
who does what you do.

170
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,682
Which is what?

171
00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:24,501
Um, legitimate business.

172
00:07:24,519 --> 00:07:27,353
He sounds like quite the fellow,
this godfather.

173
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,781
I've seen Shark Tale
and Analyze This,

174
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,858
but that sounds even better.

175
00:07:32,027 --> 00:07:33,843
Fat Tony can't be godfather.

176
00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:36,196
We'd be better off
with Mr. Burns.

177
00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,773
I asked him.
He's allergic to new baby smell.

178
00:07:38,976 --> 00:07:39,941
(knocking)

179
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:43,536
Pardon me for dropping
by unannounced,

180
00:07:43,689 --> 00:07:47,132
but I could not help but notice
that my goddaughter-to-be has

181
00:07:47,359 --> 00:07:51,261
an outdated car seat
facing in the wrong direction.

182
00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:56,308
(whimpers)

183
00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:58,885
So, I have taken
the liberty of purchasing you

184
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,387
the most exclusive,
top-of-the-line

185
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:05,442
car seat:
the Ferrari Protect-a-rossa.

186
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,546
Well, that's very nice, but...

187
00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:13,216
And you, the mama,
will drive her more safely

188
00:08:13,235 --> 00:08:16,553
in this Luxus SUV
I have leased in your name.

189
00:08:16,555 --> 00:08:18,163
It's got everything.

190
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:20,056
Blindspot monitors...

191
00:08:20,149 --> 00:08:22,242
built-in humidor, a GPS

192
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,485
that doesn't think
it's better than you.

193
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,746
MALE VOICE:
Sure, let's try it your way.

194
00:08:26,898 --> 00:08:28,965
- Oh...
- FAT TONY: Hmm?

195
00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:33,753
Fat Tony, I'm sorry,
but you can't be the godfather.

196
00:08:33,905 --> 00:08:35,405
Marge, think about this.

197
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,907
Your baby will want
to go to an elite preschool,

198
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:39,592
a prestigious prep school,

199
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:41,244
a college with the ivy.

200
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,855
I could help you
with all these things.

201
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,582
You can really do that?

202
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,175
With the soccer coaches
and admissions officers

203
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,655
I have in my pocket
like so many yogurt melties.

204
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:58,578
We'll play along
until we can get out of it.

205
00:09:00,023 --> 00:09:01,998
Godfather.

206
00:09:04,102 --> 00:09:06,586
Welcome to the family.

207
00:09:07,622 --> 00:09:10,006
Welcome to the family.

208
00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,300
MARGE:
Okay, just get through this.

209
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,485
Then you never see
the godparents again.

210
00:09:22,545 --> 00:09:25,063
Always so nice to see you,
Fat Tony.

211
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,606
Is everything okay?

212
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,569
Please, please, say it's okay.

213
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,145
Why you no answering?

214
00:09:32,297 --> 00:09:35,315
I'm a-gonna die!
And I've never been-a to Italy!

215
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:36,575
(sobbing)

216
00:09:36,726 --> 00:09:38,243
Everything's fine.

217
00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:41,246
Ah, I knew it.
Have-a some parmesan.

218
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:42,655
My hand!

219
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,158
It's-a having a heart attack!

220
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,753
Now, I take my duties
as godfather seriously.

221
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:50,946
I might almost be intrusive.

222
00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,148
Almost.

223
00:09:52,167 --> 00:09:53,425
First, I want to help

224
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:56,169
with little Margaret's
religious development.

225
00:09:56,321 --> 00:09:58,746
For my first communion,
my sainted mother gave me

226
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,508
this book and ten dollars,
which was a fortune to me.

227
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:04,394
I never spent it.

228
00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,063
Mama!

229
00:10:09,684 --> 00:10:11,684
First, the queen of all saints,

230
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,670
Mary, the only woman in history

231
00:10:13,688 --> 00:10:17,115
who had the ugatz
to be a mother and a virgin.

232
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,676
Actually, the virgin birth
is the doctrine

233
00:10:19,769 --> 00:10:21,361
of traditional Christianity.

234
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,846
Not Protestants.

235
00:10:22,864 --> 00:10:24,681
La beata madre è stata

236
00:10:24,699 --> 00:10:26,532
concepita senza
peccato originale.

237
00:10:26,685 --> 00:10:29,944
Quindi è possibile
che sia madre e vergine.

238
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,254
Oh. Got it.

239
00:10:32,207 --> 00:10:34,281
This is Saint Lucia,

240
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:37,135
which may or may not be
where my money is.

241
00:10:37,362 --> 00:10:39,879
And this is St. Zeno of Verona,

242
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,474
the saint of learning to speak.

243
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,684
For you, Margaret.

244
00:10:46,295 --> 00:10:47,461
Hmm.

245
00:10:47,539 --> 00:10:50,565
Ah, you got to love
a religion with merch.

246
00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:54,986
Maybe this could work out.

247
00:10:55,138 --> 00:10:58,548
You just enjoy riding
in a safe car for once.

248
00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:01,142
Yes! Yes! Yes, I do!

249
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,219
For the family.

250
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,330
Stop so we can do
the door again.

251
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,167
Whoa, Mama!
(laughs)

252
00:11:09,318 --> 00:11:11,086
D'oh!

253
00:11:12,321 --> 00:11:14,731
I can't believe the boss
has us babysitting.

254
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:17,384
I broke out of prison for this?

255
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,329
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

256
00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:25,183
Careful, those babies got those
super sharp fingernails!

257
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:30,105
Here ya go, Baby Boss.

258
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:38,029
Mangia. Mangia.

259
00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:39,513
Leave no evidence.

260
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:41,348
Boss,
Benny down at the liquor store

261
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,776
is late on his payment. Again.

262
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,686
Let me break his kneecaps.

263
00:11:45,855 --> 00:11:47,038
Marone a mi!

264
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:49,449
You never ever talk that way
in front of a baby.

265
00:11:49,601 --> 00:11:51,209
Uh, uh, okay, uh,

266
00:11:51,436 --> 00:11:53,878
what if we give him
a boo-boo to the brain?

267
00:11:53,955 --> 00:11:56,697
Make him go night-night forever?

268
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:57,915
Disgusting!

269
00:11:58,142 --> 00:12:00,276
You give the kiss of death
with that mouth?

270
00:12:00,295 --> 00:12:02,870
Now, if you'll excuse me...

271
00:12:02,964 --> 00:12:05,039
I have to take
sweet little Maggie

272
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,208
to Guido and Me class.

273
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,118
(humming happily)

274
00:12:09,212 --> 00:12:11,304
I think the boss is
gettin' soft.

275
00:12:11,456 --> 00:12:13,064
Next thing you know,
he'll be startin'

276
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:15,233
alegitimate
legitimate business!

277
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:17,402
Eh, I think
you're imagining things.

278
00:12:17,629 --> 00:12:21,055
* Twinkle, twinkle,
little star *

279
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,649
* Let me hotwire you a car *

280
00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:26,819
* We'll change the plates,
I know a guy *

281
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,822
* You'll be my little alibi. *

282
00:12:29,975 --> 00:12:32,658
(laughs)
You stole my heart.

283
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,644
You little criminal.

284
00:12:34,662 --> 00:12:36,588
(all groaning)

285
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:39,090
(all gasping)

286
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,575
Ah, it's-a so sad.

287
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:44,003
Fat Tony has been
a very good boss.

288
00:12:44,172 --> 00:12:48,174
I have too much respect
for him not to kill him.

289
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,493
Eh, what do you think,
Johnny Tightlips?

290
00:12:50,586 --> 00:12:53,162
I don't want
to do nothin' to nobody.

291
00:12:53,181 --> 00:12:55,681
So... you want to do
somethin' to somebody.

292
00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:57,333
Exactly.

293
00:12:57,426 --> 00:12:59,502
Does Maggie seem different
to you?

294
00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,686
I'm worried.

295
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,672
Uh, Marge,
let me put it this way.

296
00:13:02,841 --> 00:13:04,340
We can't be bad parents,

297
00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:07,268
because bad parents can't
get their kid into...

298
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,013
the finest preschool in town!

299
00:13:10,031 --> 00:13:11,438
Maggie has been admitted

300
00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,941
to the Preschool
for the Performing Arts?

301
00:13:14,019 --> 00:13:15,960
They have a three-year wait.

302
00:13:16,112 --> 00:13:18,521
Is she in the morning class
or afternoon?

303
00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:19,780
Morning.

304
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,633
- Mm.
- (knocking)

305
00:13:21,784 --> 00:13:24,285
I'm afraid we have
an agreement

306
00:13:24,379 --> 00:13:26,212
and you have not held up
your end.

307
00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:28,807
We are going for a ride.

308
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:31,476
(whimpering)

309
00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:37,315
No!

310
00:13:38,726 --> 00:13:42,136
No goddaughter of mine
will miss Sunday service.

311
00:13:42,213 --> 00:13:44,138
Oh, but I'm hungover.

312
00:13:44,215 --> 00:13:46,307
We were gonna go at 1:00 p.m.

313
00:13:46,401 --> 00:13:48,493
I'm afraid there ain't
no 1:00 p.m. no more.

314
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,811
Low attendance whacked it
from the schedule.

315
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,055
I knew it.

316
00:13:52,148 --> 00:13:53,239
You make a deal with the devil,

317
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,666
and look where you wind up.

318
00:13:54,817 --> 00:13:56,392
- (snoring)
- Wake up.

319
00:13:56,411 --> 00:13:57,335
(blabbering)

320
00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:58,819
Oh, come on, man.

321
00:13:58,897 --> 00:14:00,396
Even the priest is asleep.

322
00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:01,840
(yawns)

323
00:14:02,067 --> 00:14:05,176
Please rise
and open your hymnals.

324
00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:09,422
(whispers)
He said open your book.

325
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:13,426
* You were so right, I'm
a moron, I'm so frightened *

326
00:14:13,578 --> 00:14:17,564
* Bail us out now,
I am out of ideas. *

327
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:22,418
Look, if we're direct
and say he can't be godfather,

328
00:14:22,437 --> 00:14:24,270
what's the worst
that can happen?

329
00:14:24,422 --> 00:14:26,180
Did you seeThe Godfather?

330
00:14:26,274 --> 00:14:27,773
I saw the wedding part.

331
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,534
Does anything happen after that?

332
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:32,537
That Carlo seems
like a wonderful husband.

333
00:14:32,764 --> 00:14:35,598
- What are you talking about?
- Uh, Mister Fat?

334
00:14:35,617 --> 00:14:38,710
There's a non-whacking matter
I need to discuss with you.

335
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:40,620
I also have
to tell you something.

336
00:14:40,772 --> 00:14:44,123
Your daughter is cute, smart,
and sweet as a hung jury.

337
00:14:44,275 --> 00:14:46,551
So I will honor
all of you next Sunday

338
00:14:46,778 --> 00:14:49,870
with tickets to Itchy
and Scratchy's Christmas On Ice.

339
00:14:49,964 --> 00:14:54,041
Now, what did you want
to tell me?

340
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,227
I, um, uh, stall, stall...

341
00:14:56,304 --> 00:14:58,287
play for time...
(stammers)

342
00:14:58,306 --> 00:15:01,048
I wanted to tell you
how great you look in that suit.

343
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,458
Why, thank you.

344
00:15:02,477 --> 00:15:04,051
Why do people have
such difficulty

345
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,612
telling me how great I am?

346
00:15:10,059 --> 00:15:12,243
This is
the first business I've had

347
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:14,895
where in the back room is
just more of the same.

348
00:15:14,989 --> 00:15:17,140
Thoughts?

349
00:15:17,158 --> 00:15:19,066
Hey, these diaper bags
are great.

350
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:21,144
You could hide a brick
of nose candy in here.

351
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:23,737
No, youmezzo arguto paisan!

352
00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:25,239
This is all aboveboard.

353
00:15:25,333 --> 00:15:27,074
I want to be family friendly.

354
00:15:27,168 --> 00:15:29,743
You mean "the family" family?

355
00:15:29,837 --> 00:15:31,854
I mean every family!

356
00:15:31,914 --> 00:15:33,656
Except the Branzinos.

357
00:15:33,749 --> 00:15:35,158
Death to them.

358
00:15:35,176 --> 00:15:36,325
ALL THREE:
Death to them.

359
00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,268
Hey, boss, maybe you can get

360
00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:39,679
your little Maggie one of these.

361
00:15:39,831 --> 00:15:42,565
You would body shame a baby?!

362
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,593
- (door closes)
- I've seen enough.

363
00:15:46,762 --> 00:15:48,613
This Sunday we make our move.

364
00:15:48,764 --> 00:15:50,281
Can we make it Saturday?
I got a thing.

365
00:15:50,508 --> 00:15:52,508
-Move your thing.
- I already moved it

366
00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:54,285
for the thing that was cancelled
for the you know what

367
00:15:54,512 --> 00:15:56,028
where we did that thing
we did not do.

368
00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:58,272
That didn't happen
two weeks ago.

369
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,940
You don't know about that!

370
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,868
You don't know
what I don't know.

371
00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:05,521
Um, we certainly appreciate

372
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:07,373
all you've done for us.

373
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:10,677
Maggie has all the bling
a toddler could want.

374
00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:14,455
Don't look at me.

375
00:16:14,549 --> 00:16:16,724
They fell off the back
of a tricycle.

376
00:16:18,536 --> 00:16:20,127
(crying)

377
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,522
(gasps)
What have we done?

378
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,043
Uh, Maggie! What are ya doin'?

379
00:16:27,061 --> 00:16:28,987
I didn't mean it! Maggie!

380
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:32,156
Fat Tony, get away from my kid!

381
00:16:34,385 --> 00:16:36,035
That's it.

382
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,832
Fine. I see.

383
00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:44,060
Excuse me,
there is an urgent matter

384
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:46,045
I must attend to.

385
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,242
(burps)

386
00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:02,002
Homer, can I tell you
a little secret?

387
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,580
- No, no, please don't!
- It's a good secret.

388
00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,191
I'm finally getting out of
this terrible business I'm in.

389
00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:10,010
And into the slightly
less cutthroat business

390
00:17:10,088 --> 00:17:11,937
of maternity wear.

391
00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:13,865
I'm gonna get my soul back.

392
00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:16,776
And Maggie is my inspiration.

393
00:17:16,928 --> 00:17:19,019
- Aw.
- Give me one more day

394
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,872
to prove
that I belong in her life.

395
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:22,707
I'll see what I can do.

396
00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:24,959
(giggles)

397
00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:28,104
Legs! Louie! Get in here!

398
00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:29,363
Dispose of this.

399
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,425
I don't want
to know where or how.

400
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:43,469
Ain't nobody gonna
find this now.

401
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,522
Uh, marone.
You never forget that smell.

402
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:04,415
Remember: take the gun.

403
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,250
Leave the Zamboni.

404
00:18:06,477 --> 00:18:08,978
Okay, this is it.
I'm ending it today.

405
00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:12,298
In a public place
with a lot of witnesses.

406
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,673
Well, Fat Tony,
this is really fun,

407
00:18:20,825 --> 00:18:22,825
but where is everyone else?

408
00:18:22,844 --> 00:18:25,103
On the suggestion
of my coworkers,

409
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,772
who only have
my best interests in mind,

410
00:18:27,999 --> 00:18:29,832
I bought out the whole arena

411
00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:32,426
for my dear little Maggie.

412
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,595
No audience means no witnesses!

413
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,114
What's going on?

414
00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:38,357
Fat Tony, I beg you!

415
00:18:38,509 --> 00:18:41,268
Stop being
my daughter's godfather!

416
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,621
If you do, I'll clean for you,
I'll cook for you.

417
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:45,531
I'll be your mama!

418
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,583
God rest her soul.

419
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:50,444
I must refuse your offer.

420
00:18:50,538 --> 00:18:53,131
I made a promise to God
to watch your baby.

421
00:18:53,358 --> 00:18:55,949
And he's the only boss
I answer to.

422
00:18:56,043 --> 00:18:59,286
Except that guy in Kansas City.

423
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:00,972
MARGE:
Oh, no! No!

424
00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,548
We're stuck with him forever!

425
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,392
Maggie's in Hell already!

426
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,710
Johnny Tightlips!

427
00:19:14,803 --> 00:19:16,470
This is it, Tony.

428
00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,231
You did the worst thing
a mob boss could ever do.

429
00:19:19,384 --> 00:19:21,384
Care about somebody else.

430
00:19:21,402 --> 00:19:24,162
I thought you was
with me on this double cross!

431
00:19:24,389 --> 00:19:27,147
We'll never turn on Tony!
He's my cousin!

432
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,666
I thought he was my cousin!

433
00:19:28,893 --> 00:19:30,242
Well, he's somebody's cousin.

434
00:19:30,395 --> 00:19:32,561
And in this world,
that's what counts.

435
00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:34,321
You would betray me?

436
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,414
(grunts)

437
00:19:35,566 --> 00:19:36,716
(gasps)

438
00:19:38,753 --> 00:19:41,070
No, Maggie, no! I'm sorry!

439
00:19:41,088 --> 00:19:43,664
- That's not me!
- Oh, isn't it?

440
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,241
Oh, my God, you're right.

441
00:19:45,334 --> 00:19:46,851
I cannot change who I am.

442
00:19:47,078 --> 00:19:49,169
Also that maternity store
was a joke.

443
00:19:49,263 --> 00:19:51,004
They look, but don't buy.

444
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,933
But, Maggie, it's not too late
for you to go straight.

445
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,585
I'm stepping back as godfather.

446
00:19:56,679 --> 00:19:57,895
- Finally.
- Thank God.

447
00:19:58,047 --> 00:19:59,513
(grunting)

448
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,606
Oops.

449
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,426
Here's the keys to the SUV.

450
00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:05,453
(both grunting)

451
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,951
You have to let go
for me to take them back.

452
00:20:12,103 --> 00:20:13,436
I know, let me just

453
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:15,454
open the doors one more time.

454
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:16,697
(alarm chirps)

455
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,549
(grunts, groans)

456
00:20:18,701 --> 00:20:20,943
Maggie, my darling.

457
00:20:21,036 --> 00:20:23,370
Thank you for reminding me
of everything

458
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,539
that's good and sweet
in this world.

459
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:27,708
And now, ciao bella.

460
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,118
(sniffing)
Ew, uh,

461
00:20:29,136 --> 00:20:31,562
before you go... could you?

462
00:20:31,714 --> 00:20:33,397
Just when I thought I was out,

463
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,067
they drag me back in.

464
00:20:50,141 --> 00:20:51,398
I'm not afraid to say it.

465
00:20:51,492 --> 00:20:53,417
If this keeps up,
I'm calling HR.

466
00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:56,545
You mean Harry the Rat?
He's buried right over there.

467
00:21:29,697 --> 00:21:31,998
Shh!