I'm Carin... with a "C."
We need to be friends.
What you really want is revenge on the FBI.
You raid that money before the FBI does.
We'll do all the work for you.
_
I'm gonna pick up Jacob, and then you want to steal $50,000.
We don't have a choice.
Suddenly you have a rich grandmother I never heard of.
So?
- How much? - $50,000.
You're getting to be a very good player.
You're pretty good, too.
Ow!
Aah!
You let all the wrong people stay alive.
I should have killed him...
in front of Jacob?
This was a mistake.
From day one.
Shit.
I thought you were a bad guy.
So...
it's the middle of the night.
I guess sometimes you just need to talk to your mom,
no matter what time it is.
So I'm your mom again?
You betrayed me.
I didn't betray you. I protected you.
At least I tried to.
Nice try.
I knew what I was doing.
We had rules.
You think making rules means they're gonna get followed?
What magazine you read that in?
Look, I'm not...
I'm not here to...
I need to ask you for something.
Jacob should be with you.
Don't worry.
I barely touched his room.
Rob put an exercise bike in there,
but we can wheel it out, no problem.
- I keep picturing this life in my head... - Mm-hmm.
You know, where the three of us are this happy family,
and it just... never works.
"The three of us"?
Javier is in the car with Jacob.
So you found a loophole for your hit man.
He's not...
Look, we all do bad things.
Mom. Mom.
It's not Javier over Jacob.
I shouldn't be with either of them.
I shouldn't be with anybody.
I'll have Rob go move the exercise bike.
All right, come on.
Come on. Get in. Get in.
Go to your mom.
Jacob, sit here. Sit down.
I want only good things for you, Jacob.
And I want you to be safe.
Especially safe.
I love you too much to let anything bad happen to you
ever again.
I know.
So it's probably better for me here... just childhood-wise.
Right.
But I had fun with you.
Yeah.
I had fun with you, too.
And we'll have fun again one day.
Not tomorrow.
No, not tomorrow.
You'll have fun with Fred.
Thanks for getting him for me.
Make sure to feed him.
I will.
Come on, Jacob.
I love you, baby.
I know.
I love you, too.
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --
Celebrate! Good times! Come on!
Whoo!
Where's Christian?
He's taking a night class at The Learning Annex.
I'm already considering annulment.
What's wrong with you two?
Nothing.
- Can we go? - Pump the brakes, sweetheart.
Gotta make sure it's all there.
- It's all there. I counted it. - Yeah, so did I.
As if I'm gonna trust Bonnie and Clyde.
Gonna count every dollar,
and if there's a penny less than 500 grand...
You'll what? Make us rob another drag club?
Chanté, you stay.
One hundred...
I think my vision gets really bad when I'm with you.
Worse than it already is.
Yours does, too.
It gets down to this little point where all we can see
is each other.
And it feels really good to have someone look at you like that.
But it means we can't actually see anything else around us...
or anyone around us.
We do all this damage, and we don't care or notice
because it's in our...
What do you call it?
Peripheral.
Yeah.
Want anything?
Today, I feel good.
I am glad to be alive.
I live by my positive choices.
Nate.
San Pellegrino with lime?
- Still your drink? - Still my drink.
Let me get you a napkin.
Thanks for calling the Resort at Blue Crest.
- How may I direct your call? - Room 613, please.
724, please.
Ms. Beaumont?
Ms. Beaumont, your office sent some papers for you to sign.
Just slide them under the door, please.
1121, please.
Hey.
You're at home?
You alone?
I forgot how good Cap'n Crunch is.
Uh, she also has, uh...
Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Why do you keep looking at your laptop?
I'm not.
Is that porn?
What is this?
Is this a book? You're writing a book?
It's a short story. I'm taking a class.
This is about me.
- What? No, it's not. - It's totally about me.
"Her hands swept over the display,
snatching up the emerald earrings in one fluid motion,
like an eagle snatching a salmon."
- It's not a great metaphor. - Uhh...
People don't want to think about eagles
when they're reading about me.
It's a simile, and it's not about you!
"And that's when she found the body, skin flayed,
hanging from the ceiling of the wine cellar."
What is this?
- What's the matter with you? - It's a work in progress!
Lisa Dobesh is a very blah name.
Just call her Letty.
Why are you here?
Because I'm awesome, and I make your life more awesome.
- Mm-hmm. - Why are you here?
Where's Javier?
Where's Jacob?
I took him back to my mom's.
Oh, shit.
It's fine. I'm better on my own.
And, yet, here you are.
No, I... I was just thinking about how much fun we had
when we robbed that hotel together.
We got caught by the FBI.
I only got caught because you got caught.
I only got caught because you convinced me
to rob a hotel, so...
I love you, Letty.
Mm.
I know.
Because, yes, you do bring awesomeness
into people's lives, but...
If you're feeling, I don't know, uh, lonely right now...
maybe robbing a hotel with your former parole officer
shouldn't be plan "A."
You used to be fun. Marriage has changed you.
Mm-hmm. You need friends.
You're my friend.
I know, but you need more than one friend.
Make another one!
A non-user, non-hit man, maybe only mildly crazy friend.
Where? On Facebook?
Maybe go somewhere
where you might actually make good decisions.
Where you won't be so...
Where's the last place you felt safe?
Maybe even settled a little?
That might be the right place to make a friend.
Congrats on the wedding.
You got me a Mont Blanc pen?
And I didn't even know you were trying to be a writer.
Thanks?
But, seriously, you should change her name to Letty.
I'll think about it.
And her handbag should be a quilted leather Chanel.
If you scream, I'll drive my elbow into your esophagus.
I'm not the screaming type.
I forgot to hit the button on the A/C.
And then this crazy heat wave...
Global fucking warming, huh?
You must be thirsty.
_
Why?
Why did you kill Silk?
His haircut.
Why did you try to kill me?
You really haven't figured it out yet?
Hmm?
_
Mm.
_
Your call has been forwarded
to an automated voice-messaging system.
Call me back.
I need to talk to you.
I told the owner you disappeared.
Carin.
- Hi. - Mary Catherine put the listing back up,
and it rented out in no time.
I went out on a limb for you. Way out.
I got Michael that interview at Cedarwood,
and then, poof, he disappeared.
I'm sorry.
Christmas got complicated.
Okay, and you couldn't have called?
Or texted me back?
I mean, we were friends.
At least, I thought we were.
I'm sorry, Carin.
Mary Catherine wanted to sell all of your stuff on Craigslist,
but I put it in my garage because I am a good friend.
You're right. I'm sorry.
But we went on this trip with my mom, and...
everything got out of hand.
Emile?
Yeah.
Did he cheat on you?
Yeah.
Oh, my God. I am so sorry, honey.
Right.
Should've seen it coming.
I knew he was bad from day one.
I totally get it.
You tell yourself that he's gonna change or...
it'll get better...
that little slut math tutor
will leave for grad school in the fall.
Sorry, are you okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I know what you're going through.
All too well.
Eric, as you know, is also
a colossal cheating asshole.
And, um...
I decided that I wasn't gonna ignore it anymore.
- Good for you. - Thank you.
After the camping trip, I thought
I had gotten even or...
that would be enough, but...
all it did was make me realize that I am married
to someone that... I kind of hate, so...
I hired a lawyer, and I filed for divorce.
Well, I hope you get everything.
Actually, I can't even get inside my own house.
- What? - Eric took Apple
to Liberty Mountain on a ski trip this morning
and changed the locks on me...
when I was in sunrise yoga.
No, he can't do that.
Well, he did do that.
He's obviously in revenge mode.
I mean, locking me out of my own house?
I... I was gonna call the locksmith,
but I don't want it getting out.
Does your garage have one of those keypad entry things?
Yeah, but I tried it, and he changed the code.
Let's go.
How did you know how to do that?
It's a universal code.
I spent a lot of my 20s losing my keys.
Please, please, please, please be unlocked!
Thank God!
Don't thank God. Thank me.
My vagina can finally breathe!
Those yoga pants are bullshit.
Can I dump out these books?
Yeah, we're just gonna donate those.
What do you want that gross thing for?
For Eric's nice things.
- Carin? - Yes?
Oh... that was a failed attempt at spicing up our marriage.
Now Mr. Glass just lives on the shelf.
- "Mr. Glass"? - Because he's made of glass,
and he reminds me Samuel L. Jackson.
Huh. Makes sense.
Can we take your car?
Where are we going?
Pawn shop.
I thought you weren't the screaming type?
Mm!
You have learned a lot from my father.
Always send someone else to do the dirty work.
_
You know, it's funny.
My father wants me dead because I am a hit man.
So, he hires a hit man... you.
And you go and hire another hit man.
I killed Silk myself.
Highlight of my year.
Oh, my God! Uncle Jav!
- Hey! Hey! - I didn't know you were coming!
Did Mom forgive you?
I guess so. Happy birthday!
Uncle Jav!
- Hey! - Hey!
Holy shit, thank you for getting
- rid of that Teo guy. - Oh, yeah.
Whatever you said to him when Mom picked us up, it worked.
I'm glad he's not bothering you anymore.
- Wait, did you bring Letty? - Yeah.
We need her music expertise, like, right now.
This dumb D.J. hasn't even heard of Run the Jewels.
Letty and I are on a break right now.
Letty was like our 10-year-plan/spirit animal.
- Where's your mom? - Over there somewhere.
Okay.
Sneak around the punch and see if you smell any alcohol.
Yes, ma'am.
_
What? I'm busy.
Teo was supposed to help me, but he disappeared.
_
- _ - _
_
The other night, I was playing soccer with Letty's son.
Jacob is 11.
After soccer, we got into the car,
and Teo was in the back seat.
_
Now, you don't have to believe me.
Ask Teo yourself.
You can keep the change.
What's wrong with you?
You have revenge cash and alcohol.
Sorry.
This is the... entrance song to our wedding.
It was Eric's request.
Seriously, don't worry about Eric right now.
What if he's taking Apple on black diamonds?
No talk of husbands or kids.
I'm sorry.
I just can't get them out of my mind.
It's, like, even if I'm not talking about them,
I'm still thinking about them, you know?
Yeah, but remember Camping Carin?
All she wanted was molly and some college dick.
Do you know where she is?
The woods?
She's at the bottom of that drink.
You're right.
Let's go to "Margaritaville."
It always surprises me when rich people love Jimmy Buffett.
It's, like, stop trying to live this weird, blue-collar fantasy.
Just get box seats for Springsteen already.
- Mm-hmm. - Come on.
Tequila, please. Two more.
_
You killed the father of my girls,
and then you tried to buy them off with jewelry.
_
I had no choice.
You have no spine.
Okay, Javi.
_
Okay.
Do you need to hear anything more from him?
Are you from Miami?
How'd you know?
Where are we going?
You're buying an eight ball from that guy.
Just give me your pawnshop money.
- Oh, my God. - What?
This is shitty coke.
- Just give... - I don't feel anything.
Just give it a minute.
Let me get... I need another.
Okay. Better.
Oh, my God!
This lighting is genius!
I got to get a photo for Instagram. Hey, ladies!
Ladies, Instagram! Get together.
The lighting in here... It's amazing.
We got to get a photo. Come on.
All right, everybody in.
Here.
Take a photo, take a photos.
- Oh, my God. Where's my phone? - It's right here.
Oh. You took a photo with it.
Thank you!
We've got multiple reports of illegal drugs
in this establishment...
Fuck this.
Come on, let's go.
_
No.
That's not who you are.
I grew up with you. I know you.
That's the kindest thing you do for me.
You let me see myself through your eyes.
You should go to bed.
- I'll stay and clean up. - No.
You're not going back to that motel.
_
Leave him to starve.
Okay.
But still...
you should go to bed.
My friend Sabrina was asking all these questions
about if you're single.
And I wasn't sure how to answer.
Yeah, don't listen to her. Sabrina's 17.
And Javier has Letty.
No, he doesn't.
You didn't tell her?
Letty and I aren't together right now.
Oh...
I'm sorry to hear that.
I liked Letty.
Yeah, so did I.
Totally blows.
It does blow.
All right, come on.
Okay. Go. Go, go, go!
Oh!
Carin, get the hell up!
- Now! - Wait!
Wait, wait!
- Carin. - Mr. Glass!
- Wait. - Shit!
Oh, my God.
Ma'am, were you in the club just now?
Ma'am? Ma'am?
All right, come on.
Come with me.
You wanna party?
You, me, and Chrissy makes three.
_
No, I'm good.
Excuse me, Officer.
- Why are you arresting her? - You know her?
She's my cousin.
I've been waiting for you at that other bar for 20 minutes.
I wasn't... Wh-wh-what bar?!
I caught her with a gram and a half of cocaine.
What?! No.
No, that doesn't sound like her.
Right? Exactly! That is so not me! That's not me!
I'm sure.
It only makes sense after the news she just got.
She has early-onset Alzheimer's.
Just like that Julianne Moore movie.
Tonight's bad choices are the acts of a desperate woman
making some memories before she forgets them all.
Look, I'm sure it's out of her system,
so if you just let me take her home, officer, please?
My mother has Alzheimer's. She's never acted out like this.
I'm so sorry.
How she's doing?
She's hanging in there. Good care isn't cheap.
Sorry. What's going on here?
I'd put this at $45,000, at least.
That's, what, maybe six months of access
to the best drug treatments out there.
I can't take a bribe.
It's not a bribe. It's a gift.
And if you accept the gift, I'm sure Carin
would appreciate it if you consider her emotional state,
which you of all people should understand.
Here, use Mr. Glass's balls.
Ah! What...
At least it shattered inside your purse!
Ohh!
I wonder if I can put it in the recycling.
Glass is glass.
I can't remember the last time I stayed out all night.
I don't even think I did that in college.
Great night.
This is the most fun I've had in a long time.
Thanks, Lindsey.
My name isn't Lindsey.
I'm serious.
It's Letty.
I'm not some soccer mom
who cares where her kid goes to school.
I tried to be, I wanted to be,
but I'm a shitty mom
who... probably shouldn't even have custody.
My son is with my mom now,
and that's probably where he should stay until he's 18.
And Javier... That's his real name...
He didn't cheat on me.
We're just no good together.
I suck at a lot of things people are supposed to be good at.
But I'm pretty great at a lot of things
you're not supposed to be good at.
I was wondering a little.
Especially after the watch.
Yeah.
A move like that is pretty typical for me.
I guess I thought I could fake being a mom
like I fake everything else.
Last year,
Apple's principal called
because they caught her trying to start a fire in the bathroom.
So, I got in my car, and I drove to the school,
and then I drove right past it.
I drove all the way to Savannah.
Got a bourbon
and a toffee pudding,
and I had them while I sat on the beach.
And then...
it eventually got dark, and I drove back.
What happened to Apple?
Oh, Eric spoke to the principal
and... donated...
a volleyball net or something,
and he never mentioned it again.
Being a person isn't easy,
but being a mother and a person...
That's... hard.
We need more coke.
I saw a dealer near that nightclub.
Are you serious?
Oh, I can't even stand up right now.
All I want to do is go to sleep.
You just said this was the most fun you've ever had.
Yeah, but now it's over.
You can sleep in the guest room if you want.
Thanks. I'll do that.
Don't forget all your stuff in the garage.
Uh-huh. Whatever.
Carlos.
_
I knew you couldn't go too long without me.
Your humility is unparalleled.
Thanks.
Yeah, I've been thinking about you.
A-About what you said the other day.
I can't get it out of my head.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I mean, when I finally took a step back,
looked at the situation, it all became clear.
My main character is completely based on you.
I don't know why I couldn't see it.
I must've had some kind of mental block.
You're calling me about your short story?
You said she should have
a quilted leather Chanel bag.
Now, what other kind of details would you add?
You, me, and Chrissy makes three.
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --